u/SoggyNuggets10

2 weeks ago I got together with my first ever boyfriend. I’m 15 so I understand that the chances of this being long lasting is slim to none and the first one usually isn’t the one but I want this to be a healthy relationship that I can look back on with fondness. I’ve struggled with social anxiety for a few years now but I was starting to get the hang of dealing with it over the last couple months so I thought I was ready to be in a relationship. The first week was great but over the last few days I’ve started nitpicking our interactions and finding things that started to make me think if he even likes me anymore. He’s a quiet guy around everyone and kind of awkward which doesn’t help. When I think about it logically I realise that he still wants to spend time with me and there’s no reason that he wouldn’t like me. Despite this, I’m still worrying about it and any advice would be appreciated.

2 weeks ago I got together with my first ever boyfriend. I’m 15 so I understand that the chances of this being long lasting is slim to none and the first one usually isn’t the one but I want this to be a healthy relationship that I can look back on with fondness. I’ve struggled with social anxiety for a few years now but I was starting to get the hang of dealing with it over the last couple months so I thought I was ready to be in a relationship. The first week was great but over the last few days I’ve started nitpicking our interactions and finding things that started to make me think if he even likes me anymore. He’s a quiet guy around everyone and kind of awkward which doesn’t help. When I think about it logically I realise that he still wants to spend time with me and there’s no reason that he wouldn’t like me. Despite this, I’m still worrying about it and any advice would be appreciated.

A group of my friends and my boyfriend were meeting up to go into town one day, a hangout I couldn’t attend as I had to take care of my two dogs that day, as everyone else was out at work. This meant that I couldn’t leave the house unless it was to walk them (one of my dogs is a puppy and is unable to be left alone just yet). I had agreed to meet up with my friends later on once they had returned from town. We had also agreed that if nobody had returned to my house and I was still unable to leave that they would come over to mine until I could leave.

It gets around to the time they said they’d be back and they start sending photos of them being in my boyfriend’s house. I didn’t question it, just assumed they were grabbing something or just stopping off shortly before coming to mine. I sent a message into the chat, double checking that they were still coming over. My boyfriend responded saying yes but about a minute later he sent another message into the group chat saying that everyone else refused. I asked why and he said they said his house was nicer and that mine smelled. I can see how this would just be playful banter but at the time this comment really upset me as I have two dogs, of course my house might smell. I made it known that I found this comment rude. My boyfriend then caught one of our friends complaining on a voice message saying something along the lines of “We’ll only be at her house for 5 minutes before leaving”. I responded to this by saying “Nobody is coming home for another half an hour and I want to see you guys”. (For context, my house is literally a 2 minute walk from my boyfriend’s house). A different friend started typing in the group chat and said they didn’t want dog hair all over them, which is fine and valid but can easily be avoided. I told him that as long as they didn’t sit in the living room they’d be fine. His response was “Why do we actually have to go to yours?” And I told him yet again that I wasn’t able to leave the house and that I wanted to be able to spend time with my friends to which his response was “womp womp”. This was extremely aggravating as this whole time I was trying to communicate maturely just to be met with childishness. I asked him what his problem was and he said that I was being a pain. I explained to him that if they had just declined politely there would have been no problem, I was just upset at the rude comments that were made about my house, this message was aired.

I did meet up with them later once I could finally leave the house but was still offended at the things they had said previously. I just wanted to know if I overreacted or if I was being fair.

(Because of the comments everyone’s making I just wanted to add I’m a teen, getting the dogs was not my choice, I can’t leave the puppy alone because I’ve been told I can’t by my mum, cleaning the whole house just isn’t one of my responsibilities yet so I had no idea if it’s being cleaned properly or not but nobody had commented on a smell ever before)

A group of my friends and my boyfriend were meeting up to go into town one day, a hangout I couldn’t attend as I had to take care of my two dogs that day, as everyone else was out at work. This meant that I couldn’t leave the house unless it was to walk them (one of my dogs is a puppy and is unable to be left alone just yet). I had agreed to meet up with my friends later on once they had returned from town. We had also agreed that if nobody had returned to my house and I was still unable to leave that they would come over to mine until I could leave.

It gets around to the time they said they’d be back and they start sending photos of them being in my boyfriend’s house. I didn’t question it, just assumed they were grabbing something or just stopping off shortly before coming to mine. I sent a message into the chat, double checking that they were still coming over. My boyfriend responded saying yes but about a minute later he sent another message into the group chat saying that everyone else refused. I asked why and he said they said his house was nicer and that mine smelled. I can see how this would just be playful banter but at the time this comment really upset me as I have two dogs, of course my house might smell. I made it known that I found this comment rude. My boyfriend then caught one of our friends complaining on a voice message saying something along the lines of “We’ll only be at her house for 5 minutes before leaving”. I responded to this by saying “Nobody is coming home for another half an hour and I want to see you guys”. (For context, my house is literally a 2 minute walk from my boyfriend’s house). A different friend started typing in the group chat and said they didn’t want dog hair all over them, which is fine and valid but can easily be avoided. I told him that as long as they didn’t sit in the living room they’d be fine. His response was “Why do we actually have to go to yours?” And I told him yet again that I wasn’t able to leave the house and that I wanted to be able to spend time with my friends to which his response was “womp womp”. This was extremely aggravating as this whole time I was trying to communicate maturely just to be met with childishness. I asked him what his problem was and he said that I was being a pain. I explained to him that if they had just declined politely there would have been no problem, I was just upset at the rude comments that were made about my house, this message was aired.

I did meet up with them later once I could finally leave the house but was still offended at the things they had said previously. I just wanted to know if I overreacted or if I was being fair.

A group of my friends and my boyfriend were meeting up to go into town one day, a hangout I couldn’t attend as I had to take care of my two dogs that day, as everyone else was out at work. This meant that I couldn’t leave the house unless it was to walk them (one of my dogs is a puppy and is unable to be left alone just yet). I had agreed to meet up with my friends later on once they had returned from town. We had also agreed that if nobody had returned to my house and I was still unable to leave that they would come over to mine until I could leave.

It gets around to the time they said they’d be back and they start sending photos of them being in my boyfriend’s house. I didn’t question it, just assumed they were grabbing something or just stopping off shortly before coming to mine. I sent a message into the chat, double checking that they were still coming over. My boyfriend responded saying yes but about a minute later he sent another message into the group chat saying that everyone else refused. I asked why and he said they said his house was nicer and that mine smelled. I can see how this would just be playful banter but at the time this comment really upset me as I have two dogs, of course my house might smell. I made it known that I found this comment rude. My boyfriend then caught one of our friends complaining on a voice message saying something along the lines of “We’ll only be at her house for 5 minutes before leaving”. I responded to this by saying “Nobody is coming home for another half an hour and I want to see you guys”. (For context, my house is literally a 2 minute walk from my boyfriend’s house). A different friend started typing in the group chat and said they didn’t want dog hair all over them, which is fine and valid but can easily be avoided. I told him that as long as they didn’t sit in the living room they’d be fine. His response was “Why do we actually have to go to yours?” And I told him yet again that I wasn’t able to leave the house and that I wanted to be able to spend time with my friends to which his response was “womp womp”. This was extremely aggravating as this whole time I was trying to communicate maturely just to be met with childishness. I asked him what his problem was and he said that I was being a pain. I explained to him that if they had just declined politely there would have been no problem, I was just upset at the rude comments that were made about my house, this message was aired.

I did meet up with them later once I could finally leave the house but was still offended at the things they had said previously. I just wanted to know if I overreacted or if I was being fair.

A group of my friends and my boyfriend were meeting up to go into town one day, a hangout I couldn’t attend as I had to take care of my two dogs that day, as everyone else was out at work. This meant that I couldn’t leave the house unless it was to walk them (one of my dogs is a puppy and is unable to be left alone just yet). I had agreed to meet up with my friends later on once they had returned from town. We had also agreed that if nobody had returned to my house and I was still unable to leave that they would come over to mine until I could leave.

It gets around to the time they said they’d be back and they start sending photos of them being in my boyfriend’s house. I didn’t question it, just assumed they were grabbing something or just stopping off shortly before coming to mine. I sent a message into the chat, double checking that they were still coming over. My boyfriend responded saying yes but about a minute later he sent another message into the group chat saying that everyone else refused. I asked why and he said they said his house was nicer and that mine smelled. I can see how this would just be playful banter but at the time this comment really upset me as I have two dogs, of course my house might smell. I made it known that I found this comment rude. My boyfriend then caught one of our friends complaining on a voice message saying something along the lines of “We’ll only be at her house for 5 minutes before leaving”. I responded to this by saying “Nobody is coming home for another half an hour and I want to see you guys”. (For context, my house is literally a 2 minute walk from my boyfriend’s house). A different friend started typing in the group chat and said they didn’t want dog hair all over them, which is fine and valid but can easily be avoided. I told him that as long as they didn’t sit in the living room they’d be fine. His response was “Why do we actually have to go to yours?” And I told him yet again that I wasn’t able to leave the house and that I wanted to be able to spend time with my friends to which his response was “womp womp”. This was extremely aggravating as this whole time I was trying to communicate maturely just to be met with childishness. I asked him what his problem was and he said that I was being a pain. I explained to him that if they had just declined politely there would have been no problem, I was just upset at the rude comments that were made about my house, this message was aired.

I did meet up with them later once I could finally leave the house but was still offended at the things they had said previously. I just wanted to know if I overreacted or if I was being fair.

I’m in my last year of high school now but in my first year I saw a guy I thought was cute, exactly my type. It wasn’t anything serious, just a small hallway crush, until a couple of months ago when I was given a chance to get close to him through a mutual friend. I obviously took this chance and we’ve been getting along really well which caused me to have a full blown crush on him. We have a lot of similar interests and I was really getting my hopes up and thinking that this might actually go somewhere.

I’ve never had a boyfriend or a talking stage but I have a lot of male friends as my interests mainly revolve around gaming and that sort of thing so I just tend to get along with them better. My whole high school life I thought my interests were ‘too masculine’ or I was just ugly and unable to attract a guy. Me getting close with this guy actually made me think I might finally have a chance with someone I like as most of them end up just seeing me as a friend.
Me and my crush hung out in a group for the first time yesterday (my best friend wasn’t there) and by coincidence I kept on mentioning my her. Like when he said he liked a show I knew my best friend liked I’d say “Oh! (Insert her name here) likes that too!” And at one point I showed a photo of her as well ( he’s seen her before, she usually pins her bangs back but in this photo she hadn’t).

That night he messaged me asking about her and admitted to being interested in her because of their similar interests and the fact that her bangs made her look a lot prettier basically and that changed how he saw her (he admitted to not really thinking much of her before). I’m really beating myself up about it because if I just hadn’t shown that photo or mentioned her as much this wouldn’t have happened. I would of been fine just keeping things as they were and not actually dating him as I wasn’t thinking about making a move on him unless I was 100% sure he liked me and if I’m being honest having a crush on someone gives me the motivation to go to school just to see them but that fantasy has been ruined for me now as its been confirmed that he only sees me as a friend AND likes my best friend who he doesn’t even talk to. I struggle a lot with school so on the rare occasion I have a crush I’ll use it to my advantage to help me feel better. I know that sounds selfish and don’t get me wrong, I feel no animosity towards my best friend but it really is just a punch to the gut now that I’ve lost this ‘what if’ that would get my heart racing in the best way possible and would give me a reason to get out of bed in the morning. Now I’m stuck trying to play matchmaker for him because I want to make him happy but it hurts me so much.

I think it would also be good to mention that she speculates I have a crush on him. I always denied it if she brought it up but she’s usually good at knowing if I have a crush on someone.

Basically I’m just feeling very down at the moment and would really appreciate some advice.