r/AmITheBadApple

So I was dating this guy long distance. But we spoke everyday and met up whenever we can. At first it was amazing. Then towards the end, plans tried getting made but they always ended up getting pushed back on his end. When I tried to remake the plans I kept getting answers like “we will plan something” after I questioned him if he actually wants to see me or not. He finally arranged a meet up again. During that time he was getting confused about the train times but he has done the journey before which I’m confused about. And then his mate said he’s not coming down for the weekend due to he’s playing games with them but then quickly retracted back after saying he was only joking. The day before he was suppose to come down he cancelled last minute at night, saying he can’t come down due to the fact that his grandad had a heart attack and is in hospital so he’s going to see him that night. I accepted it and wished him well, and hope his grandad gets better and so on. The next time he messaged saying he was seeing his nan and he will contact me when he’s back home that night. I again wished him well and hope everything is okay, he stated that he was thankful for understanding. I suggested instead of pushing the meet up till the next month which at the time was 3 weeks away I stated for him to come down after everything is okay and when he’s free he then back tracked his statement saying that he’s staying at his nans tonight (5 minute reply time) I accepted it as that. Now since he went home I tried being there for him and making conversation and he didn’t reciprocated it at all. But never stated he didn’t want to talk. This went on for a week. He then would leave me on delivered for hours on end but message other people at the time. I know this because he was streaming and he stated it live. I then broke up with him politely stating to him that I do like him but the relationship isn’t working if he doesn’t put in any effort. To which he replied with “yh” I feel bad tho for doing it due to incase he was telling the truth about his grandad but then he wasn’t putting in any effort into us anymore but will to everyone else. Since then he’s put in effort and then stop etc, but I did kept my distance as I can’t afford to get hurt more than what I am. He then announced to everyone we broke up but wouldn’t tell anyone why so I had been spammed by multiple people. I then receive a message today from one of his brother’s girlfriends that apparently his family was talking about how all I do is control my now ex boyfriend. But his family hardly knows me. I haven’t messaged him about it as I don’t know what to believe but I am hurt that if it’s true as all I did was support him and cared for him. I don’t get how I could’ve been controlling when I was asking if he’s eaten and okay and so on. As he doesn’t eat a lot. And that I asked for us to call at least once a week. As he stopped calling. He even agreed to that boundary saying that it’s completely fine. But I thought calling once a week even for an hour was minimum in a relationship. So I don’t know what to believe or do. I just feel like I’m bad one for breaking up with him and I could actually be controlling.. I still like him but am deeply hurt and don’t know who to trust… please help or give advice

I 29(F) traveled to meet my long-distance boyfriend 27 (M). He currently lives with his family in a apartment where he has a very small room and a small bed. Initially, I suggested staying for just a few days because I knew the living situation. I didn't want to be a burden to his parents, and honestly, staying at his family's place feels uncomfortable for me. I suggested booking a place together for the 2 weeks, but he said no because he isn't working right now and wants to save money. When I mentioned staying a shorter time, he got offended and said we’ve never stayed together for more than a week, begging me to stay the whole time. So, I agreed. The problem is, I am incredibly uncomfortable. For example, the other day I woke up and he had already eaten. He asked if I wanted to eat, I said yes, but he didn't offer anything or suggest what I could have. It’s not my house, so I don't feel comfortable just opening his parents' fridge and cooking something. I feel so awkward that I’m even hesitant to say, "Hey, I'm going out to grab food." My cousin happens to live in this exact same city. I am seriously thinking about going to stay at her place so I can have some freedom and comfort, and we can still meet up every day. However, I know if I tell him this, he is going to get offended and upset. AITA if I tell him I'm uncomfortable and want to stay somewhere else? How do I even bring this up without ruining the trip?

My friend, let's call her Jessica, threw a party yesterday. It was so fun. Everyone had an amazing time.

This boy Jessica had been trying to get to come to the party, let's say his name was John, ended up coming with one of his friends. They was very cuddly and close when the party started, and he had his arm around her. I even went up to him and was like, "Hey, are you gonna kiss her?" or whatever. And he was like, "Maybe." I was like, "I think you should," trying to get them together.

When they did kiss, I was the happiest person. I was jumping about, I was screaming, I was taking pictures. I was so happy for her.

The same night, this boy, let's call him Lucas, was telling all his friends how he wanted to kiss me and how I should give him a chance. I even heard his friend talking about it, and he was like, "What did she say? What did she say?" And he was trying for a good hour and a half-ish.

Now, Lucas had a relationship with one of the girls who I used to be friends with, but she did do me really bad. But I was like, I couldn't do that to her. Everyone was saying, "Just do it, just do it." And I know it's, like, really bad, but I do just think it was a one-off, and I'm probably a really bad person for doing that.

But we did kiss. It was a really good kiss, everything 10/10.

When I tried telling Jessica about it, I went up to her. She was sitting on the boy's lap that she kissed, and I was like, "Can I pull you for a chat?" jokingly, like how they say in Love Island. She was like, "No, you can't." And he was like, "What?" she said. And I was just like, "Oh, okay," and I left.
I really wanted to talk to her about it because we both experienced fun things, I guess, for the night, but she just didn't wanna talk about it.
Then the party ended, really fun, whatever.

Then today I was talking to her, and she was talking about her night, and I was trying to suddenly hint that I wanted to talk about mine, and she just left me on opened. Then she just texted again saying how she misses the boy that she kissed, and now we're having this long conversation about it.

I just wanna talk about mine as well, like my night. Although I'm really, really happy for her, and, like, I'm happy to talk about it, it's just like it's not all the time. Like, I wanna get a couple words out, and she hasn't honestly asked me once about what happened with me and this boy, even though she knows briefly what happened because he was all sitting down. I was like, "Yeah, we kissed," or whatever.

She just doesn't care. She only focuses on herself.

We literally had an argument a couple weeks back, and it was, like, possibly the end of our friendship. It was over stuff like this: just never considering other people's feelings, dismissing other people, and just talking about herself and making out as if she's always the prize and the one who's right.

We literally got over it, but it's just bringing all these feelings back.
And I know my actions probably wasn't the best, but, like, I still wanna talk about it. I wanna get another person's opinion, and I can't really.

So I'm not overly mad at it. I just wanna see what other people say, even if I am still in the wrong.

(Post originally got taken down. “Screaming” is not screaming, it should be obvious what I mean by context.)

Throwaway account, my husband has my main and would be furious if he found out I’d brought this to the internet. Also, I am Canadian, and he has lived in Canada for many years, since before meeting me. We recently took a trip to New Jersey, where he grew up and his family lives. This was our first time visiting his family together and my first time in the US.

Immediately upon arrival I noticed there were many things different than in Canada, especially in people’s behaviour. My husband (and his family when they came to visit us) have always been very bold and not caring about what other people think, which is a quality that drew me to him. However, I am starting to see this is not unique, and how most Americans act. I cannot tell you how many times in the four days I was there I was completely ignored by people, even my own server at a restaurant, and everyone acted like it was normal. I am starting to see my husband and his family are the more toned down ones here.

As a Canadian in the US, I wanted to spend time shopping at stores I can’t go to in Canada, and where I live there is no Ulta. It was the store besides Target I was most excited to go to because I love makeup and wanted to try products I couldn’t normally get. I went with my SIL who was excited to take me there. When we arrived she went off to buy her own stuff and I started looking around. However it was impossible to do so as there were so many children in the aisles. In Canada, this would never be a problem in Sephora.

I was excited to try Morphe as I haven’t been able to find it in Canadian stores, but of course this little girl was there making a mess of the samplers. I kindly asked her to move away and she completely ignored me, continuing to block the entire display and try on all the makeup. I once again asked her to move and she ignored me again. Personally I am against children wearing makeup, and my future daughter will not be wearing makeup until she turns 16. I love makeup but in my opinion you have to feel confident in yourself first before putting on makeup and going down a path of “needing it” which I have gone down before.

I do not control other people’s children, and they can parent how they see fit. However, this little girls parents were nowhere to be found and since I was a paying customer, it was ridiculous I couldn’t browse due to a child, who should not be wearing any sort of makeup (she looked about 9 years old) being in my way. I asked her once again to move as since she wasn’t a paying customer she should not be trying on makeup in the store, and this girl looks up at me and says “Can you move? I can barely see my shade match with your shadow blocking the mirror.” I will admit this struck a nerve with me as I have always been bigger, another reason why wearing makeup felt necessary for me as a young teen. It was the only way I felt I could be beautiful. I have managed to work past that in therapy and am now quite confident in my body, but after a weekend of being acted rudely towards,this really struck a nerve and I reached out and screamed at her. It wasn’t very hard, but she immediately started crying and jumped up from her spot to run away. I felt bad of course, because she was not my child to discipline, however I would like to say that if she were my child, she absolutely deserved it. No child of mine would say something to an adult, a stranger in a store and not be punished.

After she left, I didn’t know what to do, but since she had left the store I resumed shopping. I did feel bad though, and when our vacation was over the next day, I told my husband while we were in bed. I was hoping he would reassure me that while it maybe wasn’t the best decision, it was justified based on what she said and how she acted leading up to the slap. Instead he got extremely mad at me. He told me he would never condone “screaming” a child, even if they were being disrespectful, and left the bed to go sleep on the couch to “cool off”. He left for work this morning after pointedly not talking to me. I do understand I shouldn’t have done it to someone else’s child, but I believe the way she acted justified it somewhat. AITA?

Im 18F and my little sister is 12F my sister is on the spectrum and she’s very popular at school for being the nicest kid imaginable, recently she’s getting into fights with a kid who I won’t name for privacy purposes so we will call him T. T and my sister were friends in 5th grade but he started acting like a jerk after my sister became popular. One day I got a call from my sister’s school saying she was getting suspended for bullying T and I had to come in to get her, our mom was at work and our dad wasn’t in the picture, I went to get her and the principal explained what my sister did, I won’t name it because it’s none of reddit’s business, I look at my sister and hugged her my sister and the principal was shocked but I toke my sister to get ice cream after. (Context: T was bullying my sister’s friend A so my sister beat him on the playground steps)

Am I the asshole for biting a child who bit me

Im 17 and I was at the park with my little sister. She was having a fun time when a little kid who was around 8 (he was 8) bit my little sister. I gave him into trouble and pointed at him so he knows I was talking to him. This child pulled an Abbey Lee Miller and bit my fucking finger. So I grabbed the child's arm and bit their arm. Not hard.

His mother screams at me and I say "I was a bit peckish and he bit my sister first so it's fair."

She says i am old enough to know better and pulls the shite away. My sister was very upset so we got ice cream. Was i in the wrong.

I F31 am moving into the basement apartment of my parents' house. Moving back home was my father's M77 suggestion. My partner M26 is joining me in this move as we have lived together the last 2 years.

My partner is unable to support themselves due to physical and mental health issues, and we are moving out of his sisters house now, and there are no other housing options for him. He takes care of the house chores and most of the cooking.

My mother F64 does not like him. He is autistic and very opinionated when it comes to hypocrites and injustices. My father doesn't always treat my mother with the respect and acknowledgment she deserves; in the past, he had stood up for her and pointed out the disrespect when she was just letting it happen and accepting it. She did Not care for that.

We pay rent for a separate contained area. We contribute to the house with maintenance and supplies as well. My mother is very religious. My partner and I are not married. I asked if getting married would change her mind on this topic, and she said no. I am being forced to sleep in their spare room, separated from the apartment. My father doesn't care either way.

I am very indignant about this arrangement as I am an adult and renting a separated space, but I am not pushing back as I abhore confrontation and know that there will be a large fight occurring if I do. My partner is upset with me for not doing anything about this and he isn't doing anything as it's my mother and he knows he won't keep his cool and choose the proper words when speaking with her.

So, am I the bad apple for wanting to be treated as an adult or not confronting this situation head on?

I’ll see completely innocent people and I’ll think they’re abusive to their partner or children. I hate myself for this, as I saw a channel of a guy who was fighting cancer, and after he said that he was a single father, I had a thought that he was abusive. I HATE that, as this guy was innocent, but I think something in the past
that I saw made me think like this. Please help me, I don’t want to be a cynical asshole who thinks that innocent and honestly good people are bad.

[supprimé]

For context I’m a 12-15 year old girl who does show jumping. There is this pony who we will call G. G is just an A hole. He tosses his head and he also just a really and I mean a really frustrating pony. G is sweet but he is also just a D to ride :/ Like one time I had to walk YES WALK the whole 1hour lesson because he would just not go. When I did finally get him to go he would just move off the wall and stuff. Mind you my leg is not that strong but even then this horse has been at this barn long enough to the point I think he should know the expectations. I dont want it to seem like horses should be robots. NO I think they need to be horses. But this horse is just an A hole. Even my mom who has ridden horses her whole youth said he is an A whole. We will have some good rides but other times he just is a D. Like one lesson will be really good then the next lesson we will be walking around the area because he won’t listen.
So you can imagine I get frustrated and my trainer who owns the barn and G said that he is really frustrating. So out of frustration I say stuff like “ don’t be a D” or “ WHAT ARE YOU DOING” or “ Don’t be stupid” etc. should I say these things? No probably not. But that’s just now I have been regulating my frustration. Again I don’t think I should be saying this stuff to the horse but I also just don’t know what else to do:/
So yesterday my mom asks if I had been saying some stuff to G. I said yes. She asked what. I said what I said up there. Etc etc. Well apparently my trainer had told her that and that it was bad horseman ship. Which yes it probably is but it’s also like what else do you want me to do?
(I will try and not say these things and try breathing or something)

I just need to know if I’m the bad apple :/

So me and my fiancé went to the store to get us two chargers and some drinks said he wanted to stop by this gas station because he wanted to see what drinks they had there.

So we went and got our chargers first the charger for me your charger for him and then we went and got our drinks and we paid for our drinks at the store

We went to the gas station when we left the store so we get to the gas station we walk in. I said oh it’s really cool in here cause it it’s hot outside to me because when my fiancé walked in, he had two jackets on this whole time because he’s sick and he was freezing.

So we go in the store and he wants these two power aids so he grabs them then he sets it down and he’s like I don’t want them actually so he set them down so we’re looking at like drinks and stuff and I’m looking at water and he looks at the Red Bulls.

So he was telling me how he didn’t want like a full-size can he wanted a little can and they didn’t have that flavor in the little can at the gas station there so he went to put it back and when he’s about to put it back it explodes get in my eye and all over me. It gets all over his jacket.

Oh, I’m pissed at that point. I’m like we’re not buying anything here. I’m done this just exploded on me. It’s in my eye and my eye is burning. I just wanna go home so he said before we leave let me check my bank account so he’s checking in at the ATM there and the cashier is watching us this whole time.

And while we’re walking out, I sit there and I said I’m gonna have to go to a different gas station at some point because they don’t have my drink.

Well this cashier walks over to the window while we are sitting in the car and I still have Red Bull in my eyes and Im pissed at this point and when we start to leave the cashier walked outside and watched us leave.

I said while we backed up and looked at the cashier I’m not coming back here that Red Bull went all over me and my eye is burning I said I’m not buying a damn thing from here that was bs.

When I said that the cashier just watched us leave like wtf is wrong with people why do people think As if you are stealing but I said that for one they don’t have what I wanted and two the red bull busted all over us and my fiancé is sick.

So aita for being pissed off about this and saying I wasn’t buying anything there after that idk they act like people are doing stuff they shouldn’t just because they left without buying stuff

My nephew (8yrs old) is at his home with his dad but her mum(my sister) is working in a different city and his dad work as well during the day. my mum and my other sibling (4yrs older than me, im the youngest) which isn’t in town due to college decided in our group chat that since my nephew’s school isn’t starting until aug she wants me to go fly to another city to fetch him and bring him back here. And my mum agree to it. But im introverted and asocial person and usually dont go out when i dont needed to.

Prefer staying in and mind my own business. And i feel like they are deciding for things like this for me to do when I don’t actually want it and i know if this happens im the one to take the responsibility. Like bring it to the arcade, malls, stay with him inside the playhouse, accompany him, bring him to the toilet such and such. The fact that it’s their idea but i know im the one doing all the work and bit my mum and my sibling isnt even home to take care of him.

Am I too selfish about not wanting to do these stuff? I feel like it’s a burden for me when my schedules are disrupted and given that i dont go out as much at all. It makes me a bit sad about it. Like they didnt even ask me if i wanted to do these stuff and go back and forth. And if i say no i’m they would tell me how inconsiderate i am and disrespectful. But everytime im with my nephew and they’re all there im the one taking care of him like a baby sitter while they go on with their lives.

They also sometimes downgrade me in front of the child and give negative comments if i dont do this or do that thats why my nephew disrespect me sometimes and makes me cry lol. Because he hears stuff he shouldn’t. Im the one following my nephew around, changing his clothes and making him drink his water etc. but I’m a bit sick of it now tbh.

Hubby (M50) and I (F60) have been married for 22 years. We bought our "forever home" about 10 years ago. I have always had a very good relationship with my in-laws throughout the years. They live in another state, about a 10 hour drive away and consist of my husband's mother and 2 sisters. We visited frequently throughout the years.

About 2 years ago, my SIL called my hubby and told him that her relationship with her long time BF was over. She had nowhere to go.

Hubby tells me this and, of course, I agree that SIL(and her 30 yr old son, and dog, and cat) can come here to stay until she gets back on her feet.

Hubby has to do a slight remodel to our home. He put a wall and door on the family room to turn it into a bedroom so SIL and nephew each have their own rooms. He drives over to help her pack up her stuff and they arrive with her SUV and his truck loaded down with her belongings.

We get them settled in and then I start hearing about what she and her son "need". Nephew is about 6ft tall and 230lbs. He has violent tendencies and anger control issues. I am told that we all need to be very careful not to "set him off". The dog is a rescue and very sweet... to people he knows and he doesn't like small children or strangers. The dog only eats the expensive, refrigerated dog food. The cat didn't seem to have any specific needs aside from the "very best" dry food.

Within the first 2 weeks, she has thrown away some of my cookware, even my cheese grater (because she didn't like the size of the shreds). She did replace them. She rearranged my pantry and my linen closet. My house has only 1 bathroom and the only 2 outlets were taken over by their stuff.

At first, I was all about trying to help them and help her get through her heartbreak. The town I live in has a ton of resources for people in SIL's situation. I try to help her find what she needs to get her life back on track. She doesn't want to hear any of it and shoots down everything I mention.

Hubby works nights and I work days. He is not around her much, as he is either sleeping or headed to work. I work days.

My daily routine turned into me getting up, getting a cup of coffee and heading out to the patio to smoke a cigarette before getting ready for work. As soon as I get to the patio, SIL shows up with a cup of coffee, followed by nephew. She proceeds to tell me how everyone in her life has wronged her. SIL and nephew smoke marijuana.

Come to find out.... SIL had decided that the only way to keep nephew under control is to keep him stoned all the time (fortunately, it's her favorite thing to do, too). I'm talking, at least once an hour, they have to smoke. She complains to me that she can't do it in the house because that's a rule hubby and I made.

Every morning, I get to hear how violent my nephew can be. He has sent his mother to the ER multiple times. He had attacked her BF, also.

I can't use my living room because my nephew just paces behind me and gives me dirty looks and making fists. I end up just hiding in my bedroom and locking the door when I go to bed at night. We can't have friends over. We can't have our grandkids over, because she won't keep the dog away from them (the dog nips, snarls, bites, and lurches at them).

Months go by. My hubby is trying so hard to keep everyone happy. I couldn't bring myself to tell him how I was feeling.

My SIL shoots down everything. I start researching options for her and she won't do any of them. She refuses to live in this place or that. She refuses to apply for this or that. It got to a point where she just sat around all day in her pajamas getting stoned. Although, she started catering to my hubby. Making his favorite dish or desert. It was like she was starting to compete with me. She would tell me how wonderful my husband is and all HE has done for her.

Things came to a head, about 9 months in. I explained to hubby what my life was like on a day to day basis. The fear I had of my nephew. The manipulations by SIL. She tried to tell hubby that I'm horrible and she can't even use the kitchen when I'm home (blatant lie). Up to this point, all she had done around the house to help out, was do the dishes and pick up the dog poop in the back yard. Everything else was on me.

Hubby talks to her and comes up with a few options. The foremost one, for him, was that we buy her a camper for her and she can find a park to put it in. This was a big loan we were willing to take on for her (I don't think we even meet middle-class standards). Nope! She doesn't want that. She decides she want's a conversion van. That way she and her "circle of crazy" can just drive around and just "be".

So, hubby and I go and purchase it for her. She went along in her pajamas. Hubby tells her this is it. We don't have any more money to help her any more. When we get home, she starts making appointments to have all kinds of things done to the van. She can't afford any of it and neither can we.

Hubby goes to work. She mentions all of this stuff she "needs" to get done. I tell her that we can't afford it. She calls hubby and tells him I am kicking her out of the house. He had to leave work and come home. He helped her pack her van, and she left.

Now, she is saying that I made her homeless. She told me that this (my home) was supposed to be her home. Her son has been arrested (and released, pending trial) for beating up some random woman.

I am at a loss. What should I do?

Sorry so long.

my friend is planning to throw one of the first house parties of the year. previously she has gone on about how her garden is amazing for a party. a few months ago we planned for her to have a party and was making a list of who should come. the list was very unpolished and had barely anyone on it but it still came to 50-60 people. after discussion with her parents they have said it’s okay to throw a party and she is planning to but some how the group chat only have 30 people and although that’s around a class full of people for a party where you want people to feel comfortable and not on show it’s not a lot especially for a garden that’s not small. and a lot of the boys in the group chat are not from her she asked someone to invite people so it’s a mixed group and not just 1 gender on an uneven ratio. she has allowed a few extra people to come because she thought they had no other friends but today i asked her is it okay if a few more boys come as eveyone including her have invited a boy who is definitely coming and the one she invited lives near her and is putting a front to sound uninterested. the only person without anyone is me and she said how she is so stressed and doesn’t want strangers in her house which is very reasonable but you can’t say your hosting a party then not allow anyone to bring their friends,keep in mind all the people in the group chat are mural friends with one person or the other. she is saying she’s just so stressed as if she didn’t come up with the idea to have a party she could’ve stated it as a gathering which is a whole other vibe.ons of my other friends also told me everyone is saying it’s going to be dead and no one wants to come and to just all go out after. aitah for trying to get her to invite more people?

Okay, I've posted here before. A good bit. For a heads up, I'm the Greek girl posting about conscription. For anyone thinking, girls aren't drafted here, that's true, I'm trans. I'll get to that. Been in therapy for over a year, and I just, I feel like sometimes I'm being gaslit, I had people tell me that seizures and heatstroke weren't a very big deal. But, I mean...?

Two years ago, when I was 18, I was drafted. I mentioned how my parents tried very hard to persuade me not to go, and for the reason I did: Basically, there were a lot of myths about what happens if you avoid service. I went, they told me to promise, that if I ever want to leave, let them know, no shame. Thing is, once you're there, it's coercive. People get transfers, so the remaining people get loads of shifts, no time off, so everyone is afraid to leave, because you're leaving everyone else. There's more to it , but anyway...

That year was like death by 1000 cuts. Like, one moment, we're doing training exercises in this freezing lake. The officers are very kind but I'm insisting I can't handle this kind of cold, I'll go into shock. They're giving me encouragement, telling me I'll be okay, we'll do something later to celebrate. But I'm not okay. And I do go into cold shock.

I had gastroenteritis twice. I had heatstroke three times, a seizure, and often vomited. Once, I fainted on a fucking guard tower and someone had to pull me back because I was hanging off of the edge. Like, this isn't sympathy bait, it's to try and just be honest about what fucking happened here, and why I'm still angry.

I doubt myself a lot, now, and I am very conscious about talking about issues unique to me, because that, it sounds like if I wasn't trans, or I wasn't girly, conscription would have been okay. But, look, I started my transition at 19, but I... Did not have a boy's body. Ever. I might be intersex, with everything, proportions, facial features, my voice, I would get noticed for it. Many officers were protective and some outright loving, but dome sexually harrassed me. Having my head shaved was degrading, and then this one officer asked me to put on a wig and sleep with him...?

It's kind of the reason why I recently talked about being ungrateful that many officers were kind to me. Many were genuinely nice, or even loving, but they did nothing to make this materially better. For example, the camp commander often took a lot of time off because she missed her husband. She's expressed a lot of regret for not doing more for me, and I don't care because where was she when I needed her?

I wanted to say, people in the comments always tell me that everyone does it, and I'm the only one still going on about it...?When people said that, I mentioned that both my parents are navy veterans, and they struggled, which was why they were so adamant to save me!

Look, are there any grounds here for genuine neglect? As in, from the military. Not my parents, they were the only people to have always vouched for me.

So i noticed my bunny’s eye looked sore and was watering, so i turned to a fb group for advice before spending money on a vet if it’s just a sore eye. I posted the question with a photo of her eye not thinking more of it. I woke up the next day to find an animal advocacy Karen in the comments calling me a sh-t person and an animal ab-ser for asking fb for advice in the meantime instead of rushing to the vet at 2am. The bun was in no means harmed, she is happy and binkie as always, eating and drinking normally. I am ofcourse going to the vets but the appointment is for 3 days from now, i was asking for advice to help my bun. Am i the bad guy here? or was the Karen overreacting?

Basically I knew someone who would frequently fail to hear me, and I would usually let it go even if it was irritating because I thought it would cause more issues get visibly angry about it because I didn't trust I could balance myself to not throw a hissy fit in public. I had to actively try to not blow a gasket.

Like, sometimes I'd be like "Can I please go to [X]?" at an event with lots of activities, or even "Why are we walking all the way over here?" and then seemingly not be heard at all, and then we'd just keep walking, or he'd say "let's go do [X]" without explicitly acknowledging the actual content of what I said, and I'd just not press further. I remember even being in the car with him and we didn't know where to go for lunch, and I think I said "Can you please just pick something?" and then he just scrolled for like 5 more minutes in silence. I figured if I got upset about something so small, and demanded he listen about it, it would just cause unnecessary suffering for everyone.

Other times I'd ask and be acknowledged, except it would be to tell me some reason I couldn't understand because it didn't make sense (he'd never just say "we CAN'T do it", he'd say "Well, [X reason]."), like if he thought the price would somehow change for the activity mid-way through an event, or something about the line to wait for it, or the availability of other activities, or something, and we'd go in circles about it until I'd eventually be like "Fine" if he asked if I would rather do something else. Eventually when he asked if I wanted to do something else I'd say "Fine" immediately because I assumed it meant I wasn't going to get to do it even if I asked harder, so I wanted to avoid the futile headache.

The second I receive pushback, it feels like I'm being indirectly told no, and that if I keep pushing back, all I'm going to accomplish is continually being told (an implicit) no over and over, until if I do get to do the thing, the process of pushing back by giving counter-reasons why it should be possible was draining enough so that doing the thing doesn't actually help recoup the emotional impact of having had to ask for a minor thing repeatedly.

Other times he'd acknowledge what I wanted, and asked if I wanted to do it later (that day at the event), and then we wouldn't do it at all and he wouldn't acknowledge that it failed to happen.

Plus other times he'd initiate things without asking or go ahead without waiting for me or asking me to follow. Like the time my back was turned to him to look at something on the ground, and I started speaking and mid-sentence I turn and he's yards turned walking away from me, so I run to catch up to him and say nothing. Or when he walked up to a booth when I was following him and he gets into a conversation with the toy vendor to try to win a toy, without ever bothering to turn to me to actually ask if I wouldn't rather do something other than wait for him to be done with the booth, or even ask me if I would like to play the game myself. I tried to quietly tell him "Can we please just go?" but it was like he didn't even hear me.

I'd usually "let it go" in the moment, then at some point I'd disregard my previous hesitation have enough and point out all the little problems at once. This happened a few times. He said he wished I brought stuff up in the moment, which I thought would just cause me to have a hissy fit in public over it if I ever allowed myself to get that deeply into my feelings as soon as they start, which I thought would just push him away harder. He also said I got mad about "little things" and needed to learn to let things go, especially in group settings with other friends. I felt bitter because I made this assumption that if he cared, he would be able to discern the pattern in all my examples and stop just running into things or ignoring me by default. If I did the same things he did, to my own mother, she would get incredibly angry. So I have to wonder if I'm consistent for expecting others to adhere to the standard I was taught, or if I'm a hypocrite because a lot of it was stuff I arguably had been told before about, so it meant I didn't have the right to criticize HIM about it. And it felt like he was expecting me to spoonfeed him by telling him in the moment so he didn't have to actually think about things we talked about beyond the actual instance of the conversation, which I didn't trust would even make him learn the pattern so he'd eventually not have to be told every single time - I worried I'd always have to tell him everything to (not) do, like steering a car. So if I ever complained he could always fall back on "but I always do what you want [when you tell me]."

And mind you this was all over stuff like...doing recreational activities whenever we went out together. So it feels like maybe I was being extremely petty.

So, in my city, there was a fireworks show, and along with it came a bunch of vendors and a band, so there were a bunch of people, and it was gonna be fun. I don’t get out and usually go places since I’m a homebody, but I wanted to spend time with my older sister (she’s 17 y/o, and I’m 14 y/o).

When we found out, we were excited for some one on one time, but then she said her boyfriend would be coming with us. I didn’t want him to go because I wanted sibling bonding time with her, but she ended up saying he had to come because she wanted to go to his house afterward.

While we were there, we had to walk a hefty bit to get to the vendors from where we parked. While we walked, she wouldn’t let me walk with them because I guess she wanted to just be alone with him, so she made me walk far in front so they wouldn’t have to be with me. I didn’t really think much of it at first, even though it hurt my feelings a bit because I didn’t want to ruin the mood.

Once we actually made it to the vendors and parted from my mom and cousin, as soon as we started walking around to look at stuff, her boyfriend was acting all mopey like he didn’t want to be there, and the whole time she was just trying to get him to buy stuff to make him feel better or something.

I kept trying to talk to them, but it wasn’t really working because they kept ignoring me. Then she told me to go away and leave them alone so they could talk, so I walked a good distance away. She said it wasn’t far enough and got mad, so I walked off until they weren’t really in sight.

After a little bit of walking, I got nervous about being alone, so I made my way back to where they were. They ended up just walking off again, so I had to find them a good section down, looking at jewelry, and I tried making conversation because I saw a furry.

I didn’t actually get a chance to talk because they wouldn’t let me walk with them, so I had to walk behind them. We also saw this cool vendor with little nostalgic Minecraft toys and stuff, and I started talking to her about it because I saw Little Kelly, but they just walked off again without saying anything, so I had to find them.

While we were walking after I found them, the band came out to play, so I got excited and thought this could make it a little fun. We all went to see the band and dance at the front, but her boyfriend wasn’t having fun and just stood there while we danced, so after maybe two minutes, we had to leave. After that point, I quit trying to talk and have fun with them since they wouldn’t talk to me at all. While walking back to meet up with our mom to watch the fireworks, he kept doing this thing where he was like, “I feel like I ruined the vibe…” in a really sad voice that honestly irritated me. Once they realized I wasn’t having any fun because I wasn’t trying to entertain them anymore, they kept calling me a “Debby Downer.”

I’m not usually very sensitive, but my feelings were really hurt at this point, and to be honest, I was kind of holding back tears.

As soon as we made it to watch the fireworks by the lake, they decided to go up close to them, away from most of the people. We all sat on this rock, except it wasn’t really big enough for three people, so they just sat next to each other facing the fireworks, and I had to sit off to the side.

The whole time, they were just kissing and stuff and didn’t bother talking to me, so I just decided I probably shouldn’t be there. I went off to find my mom and sat with her for the rest of the time, and we left soon after.

I talked to my mom and a few other people about what happened and how it hurt my feelings, and she said I’m just overreacting and that since they’re older or whatever, I should expect it.

I don’t really think I’m overreacting by being upset about it, though.

(I apologize in advance if my english is not good bcuz english is NOT my first language).

First time posting and i need advice immediately!!

My friends and I are a trio in our classroom. Let's call them Maddie and Cristal. It's not like we don't have other friends, but we have our own circle that consists of five people. The two of them are in a different department, while the three of us are in the same department. I also have other friends aside from them, and I would go up to them and have conversations with them.

One time, I decided to talk to another friend in the classroom who just happened to be my childhood best friend. We were having a deep conversation when Maddie suddenly interrupted us and said, "We're still here, y'know?" We just laughed it off and continued our conversation. While we were talking, the two of them, especially Maddie, kept making all of these passive-aggressive comments like, "Okay, they have a new friend," and "They're replacing us, Cristal," those types of comments. It was quite annoying because we were literally having such a deep conversation, and they kept interrupting us (not every damn time but they would interrupt us a lot y'know what I'm sayin'). Since I was sitting in Maddie's seat, whenever she tried to take something out of her bag, she would get SUPER close to me and very obviously try to eavesdrop as a joke.

So when Maddie demanded that I go back to my own seat, I asked her if I could sit there a little longer since the teacher for that period was absent and no one was really monitoring us. She immediately yelled at me, saying that she wanted to sit in her own seat. I didn't say anything because I didn't really want any trouble, especially with my friend, so I proposed to CBF (Childhood Best Friend) that we should sit somewhere else so that Maddie could sit in her own seat. But when Maddie saw that I was changing seats with CBF, she immediately gasped and called me a whore (which isn't real). I was embarrassed because she said that in front of so many people, and everyone was looking at me. Then I snapped back, "How am I a whore when you literally get a new crush every week?" (also isn't real, but it's true that she always finds a romantic interest in other boys outside of our classroom). Then CBF and I sat down and continued talking while writing since I didn't really want to make a big deal out of it, even though Maddie was the one who practically screamed that I was a whore.

I asked the two of them if they were done with their work, but they suddenly acted like I was weird for talking to them, as if we didn't know each other. "OMG, who is this?" "Yeah, like why are they talking to us?" I tried to laugh it off, but they kept going, so I ignored them and continued writing.

They then switched seats beside us, and when I tried to talk to them again, they still kept going with the joke. It was starting to literally annoy me because they wouldn't drop it. Like, can't they move on from that? So I laughed it off AGAIN even though I was starting to get annoyed.

When class was over, I was assigned to clean the classroom, and the two of them were waiting for me. Then our other friend said, "Look, they're waiting for you." I jokingly said, "I thought we weren't friends anymore," even though I was still annoyed at them. Then they left, and after I was done cleaning, I saw them waiting in the hallway across from another classroom. So when I tried to approach them, the two of them saw me and immediately distanced themselves from me. That's when I actually got pissed because I didn't even do anything to them. I thought, "They have the audacity to avoid me and act sulky when I didn't even do anything to them in the first place." So I waited for my gay friend to accompany me and walked right past them. Even though the two of them were following me, I kept walking. Then, when I was about to leave, the two of them chased after me and said, "Geez, you're so dramatic. Oki, we're sorry HAHAHA." I was actually super pissed at them because they weren't even apologizing to me properly.

P.S: this is just the part 1 of the story