r/AmITheBadApple

So.. I have a friend that constantly harasses me about having essas, and how i don't need them because I'm "perfectly normal". she says "I have mental issues and don't carry around stuffed animal! and since you clearly don't have any mental issues, you DEFINITELY don't need a 'essa'." and she constantly says she has a 'trend essa' bc its "JUST A TREND". like, I'm not going to outright tell her I actually have issues bc she's the type where you never know if she'll blab to someone or if she'll keep it in her huge lump of secrets that she somehow manages to keep hidden. We've been friends for five years. plus, she's 3 years older than me, who is she to bully a younger kid about having a stuffed animal? If i was older than her, it'd be a "ok... well..." but its not that way.

and its also horrifying that she's so mean about it, saying she's a lesbian and a therian? Like, she's part of communities that are supposed to be kind, yet she's over here bullying me for being in a community thats pretty much just as "weird" as hers? I'm also in her 2 communities(though she only knows I'm a therian that isn't allowed to identify one so is supposedly just a otherpaw. she doesn't know I'm in any other community). her response to when she's bullying me and I say "Pfft, says the lesbian therian" is "yeah well what can I say, you're carrying stuffed animals as if you're emotionally damaged when you're clearly not".
that, is the problem with relating to that essa vid i once saw with the title being "pov you have bad mental health but are a genuinely jolly person"

and here is the part where she is asking me to buy her stuff..
Every time we saw a shop selling tails, at fair(which was pretty much every day and fair went 10 days. but she also says it basically every time i see her, so every few days to a week or so) , she would say: "Bro you should buy me a tailll" like.. uh...

1. Your mom would throw it away (her: well i would hide it in my bag. me: I am NOT spending almost $30 bucks i don't have, just for it to get thrown away bc you were mistaken, or anything along those lines)
2. I am $70 in debt already, and my parents don't even support therians or anything of the sort so i would never be allowed to even get one for MYSELF
3. yeah, if I did get a tail it would be for ME first, because NO, I am not supporting my hater ):<

A group of my friends and my boyfriend were meeting up to go into town one day, a hangout I couldn’t attend as I had to take care of my two dogs that day, as everyone else was out at work. This meant that I couldn’t leave the house unless it was to walk them (one of my dogs is a puppy and is unable to be left alone just yet). I had agreed to meet up with my friends later on once they had returned from town. We had also agreed that if nobody had returned to my house and I was still unable to leave that they would come over to mine until I could leave.

It gets around to the time they said they’d be back and they start sending photos of them being in my boyfriend’s house. I didn’t question it, just assumed they were grabbing something or just stopping off shortly before coming to mine. I sent a message into the chat, double checking that they were still coming over. My boyfriend responded saying yes but about a minute later he sent another message into the group chat saying that everyone else refused. I asked why and he said they said his house was nicer and that mine smelled. I can see how this would just be playful banter but at the time this comment really upset me as I have two dogs, of course my house might smell. I made it known that I found this comment rude. My boyfriend then caught one of our friends complaining on a voice message saying something along the lines of “We’ll only be at her house for 5 minutes before leaving”. I responded to this by saying “Nobody is coming home for another half an hour and I want to see you guys”. (For context, my house is literally a 2 minute walk from my boyfriend’s house). A different friend started typing in the group chat and said they didn’t want dog hair all over them, which is fine and valid but can easily be avoided. I told him that as long as they didn’t sit in the living room they’d be fine. His response was “Why do we actually have to go to yours?” And I told him yet again that I wasn’t able to leave the house and that I wanted to be able to spend time with my friends to which his response was “womp womp”. This was extremely aggravating as this whole time I was trying to communicate maturely just to be met with childishness. I asked him what his problem was and he said that I was being a pain. I explained to him that if they had just declined politely there would have been no problem, I was just upset at the rude comments that were made about my house, this message was aired.

I did meet up with them later once I could finally leave the house but was still offended at the things they had said previously. I just wanted to know if I overreacted or if I was being fair.

Just for a little context, I’m 17 female(Sarah )and my friend Lucy 17 female have been friends for about seven years and from day one we have done everything together there was always a little bit of jealousy in our friendship, but we were always still really good friends but Lucy became friends with Kenzie 19 female when they became friends I didn’t know that Kenzie was dating my now boyfriends cousin well a year later they ended up getting married and Kenzie has always liked to start problems with me Lucy and me and my boyfriend well Kenzie her husband me my boyfriend and two other friends that are a couple all go to church together so we have a church friend group. Well, Kenzie would throw little get-together at her house and one of my birthday parties was at her house and she said she did not want to invite Lucy because Lucy causes problems and nobody likes her well so that I said she is one of my best friends and I would really like for her to come and everyone said no we would rather her not come and said that she was not allowed at their house because her husband didn’t like her fast-forward a couple months after this Kenzie and Lucy were hanging out and Lucy asked Kenzie about the parties and Kenzie said well Sarah was the one who said she never wanted you there and that you didn’t fit the vibe so Lucy texted me freaking out cussing me out calling me these horrible names all because I didn’t invite her, but it wasn’t my house and I really did try to get her to be invited. I wasn’t even the one who ever threw these parties. She went on about how much of a terrible friend I was ,that I never make time for her when I do I see her every single day, but she was also talking about just how horrible of a person I am and that I didn’t deserve to be friends with her anyways now me and her have to be separated at work because we cannot work together. Everyone is trying to get me not to be mad at Kenzie for this, but I kind of feel like it is her fault. Me and Lucy might’ve stopped being friends sometime soon anyways, but it didn’t have to end with the name-calling and all this all over a lie, I feel like I do deserve to be a little bit mad at her and everyone wants me to forgive Kenzie because”she didn’t do it on purpose and she’s just a people pleaser “is what everyone saying but I feel like this is the fifth time she’s done this and she should be held accountable so am I the asshole?and what do I do?

I, 21 F, visit my dad for a weekend every month. Some useful context for later is that I was severely verbally abused by my father, who screamed at me over everything despite my SPD (sensory processing disorder) diagnosis which makes loud noises basically torture for me. This abuse has led me to have an extreme fear of confronting my dad about anything, even little things, and tend to stand up for myself via text to cope with it. I still visit, not for my dad and stepmom, but for my stepmom’s family who has been nothing but loving since I entered their lives as a baby. I still have my childhood room for when I visit, and have some sentimental items from my childhood, along with scrapbooks, some plushies and other items I purchased myself with birthday money all in my tiny room there. One such item is an alarm clock. The clock is also a small mirror, which I will admit was the main reason of use, due to it being incredibly difficult to manually change for daylights saving time- so the alarm clock feature was basically useless half the year.

I’ve had that clock for 5 years. I bought it with a gift card I was gifted for my birthday. It cost around 17 dollars at the time (it isn’t as expensive anymore I will admit).

Here’s where the issue starts. I was just on vacation last week with my dad’s family. I happened to overhear my sister (8F) talking excitedly about her new alarm clock for school. In my head I thought “ok, maybe they bought her one for school because she needs to get up earlier for the bus this year”. But as the days go on and she describes it more and more, my heart sank. It was my clock. She described it perfectly… there was hardly and doubt. I was crushed, but kept it to myself the entire vacation to not ruin it for everyone. When we got home, I peeked in her room, and sure enough, it was on her dresser. MY clock.

Here’s where I might be the bad apple. I got so angry that I grabbed a bunch of the stuff there, sentimental items such as:
-a stuffed owl given to me by my late grandmother the last time she visited before passing
-a photo frame of me as a baby with my late cat Wicca who died when I was 13
-a full scrapbook with photos I cannot replace
-a pair of slippers I have owned since before my dad moved from the house I grew up in from infancy to age 12
-my Polaroid camera and the matching leather scrapbook with all my photos I took with it (also bought with my money from Christmas)

I tried hard to take things that were, 1- sentimental and important, and 2- not things bought directly by my father or stepmom so they couldn’t claim the “we bought it” card. Then I went home to the apartment I share with my mom and waited until the next day when I was calmer to send my dad a long message explaining why I was angry and asking either for the clock back in my room or the $17 reimbursed to me.

A part of me feels I’m the bad apple just for demanding he return it after he gave it to my sister. But I spent my own money on that and it was basically stolen from me. So am I the bad apple for demanding return or reimbursement?

(This post was edited after some points were made in some comments. Context was added/ removed to make more sense. Thank you for all the comments- both good and bad! Criticism is always welcomed respectfully)

Hi, I am in 12th grade currently and yesterday my mum found out her close relative died so she had leave next day at 3:00 in the morning to go another village. She told me to not go to school the next day because I will be alone but I thought I should so I told her I will go but the next morning I changed my mind to not go because I didn’t feel like it. I told my friend that I am not coming (I have only this friend at school ) and she kept giving me msgs about how I should come and not leave her alone and that I should not make her regret leaving another friend for me. I kept telling that I can't come because there no time now( it take 30 to 35 mins for me to get there) but she kept texting me to come and then I finally told her that I was also alone in class when she was not there.
Now, u all need to know that when she used text me and tell me that she was not coming to class , I used text back ‘ok’ to her and then give her the notes. I also used to be alone but I didn’t mind as I introverted. After a few mins I called her to tell her to give me the notes of today after classes, she said ok and I said her to calm down . And then we ended the call.
A little flashback for why she said that I should not make her regret leaving another friend for me is that a year ago the other friend left us suddenly and I didn’t know why but a few months back I come to know that the other friend and my now current friend are on good terms with each other but with me she is mad because my current friend chose me and not her. I asked my current friend why does she hate me but she said she does not know.
Now, I am feeling guilty of not going but I know deep down also I will not keeping in touch with her after 12th grade.
AITA for not going? I don't know what to feel now.

Context: I (19F) am married to someone in the military (18F) (and hadn’t seen her in about 2 months), because of my wife being in the military I, myself, do not work currently as it’s easier for us to be able to make plans to see each other or move when needed.

About 2 months ago I had asked a friend (19F) if she would drive out of state with me to see my wife, (we’ll call this friend Olivia). Olivia would pretty much get an all expenses paid trip, she had agreed to go with and had put in the time off at work. During this time Olivia’s car was in the repair shop and she was using a loaner car, after about a month of having asked Olivia to go with me, her time with the loaner car had come to an end but her car was still not repaired. I had offered Olivia to give her rides to and from work and for that time I would stay at her apartment with her and her husband to be availed for them if they needed a car. (Not asking for any gas money from them either).

Another week or so goes by and I am picking Olivia up from work and she is extremely distraught, she tells me that they don’t have enough money for rent, groceries, etc. Being that I was staying with them for a bit, my wife and I offered to buy some groceries, (even though we were already paying for gas to take them places and I was only staying with them to be there when THEY NEEDED a car). At this time buying them the groceries was no big deal.

Now here’s where it starts getting interesting; Olivia has had a LD friend (we’ll call her Faith) for about 6 years and being that we were going out of state to visit my wife, Olivia had requested that we went to meet her friend (which was about 3ish hours out of the way), I agreed though because I figured “*no big deal, they’ll have a good time and everyone will be happy.*” Finally we get to the city my wife is currently staying in and about a day after being there Olivia and Faith decide that Faith is going to drive 5 hours to the state that we were now in to hangout. Olivia and Faith decide that they don’t want to stay at the hotel my wife and I had already paid for, this was because they wanted to smoke weed and the hotel was on a military base, (for those of you who don’t know that is a federal crime, wether you are in a state where it is legal or not, and wether or not you have a medical card.)

So being that they wanted to partake in recreational activities they decided to look for a place to stay off base, no big deal right? They had then requested that my wife and I cover the hotel while they stayed there and that we would be reimbursed at a later date. Fine whatever, my wife was not happy but agreed since they would be paying us back.

On the day following our arrival we decided (myself, my wife, and Olivia) that we would go to the boardwalk and look at all the shops since we didn’t really have time to go to the actual beach, while at the boardwalk Olivia barely said anything to either of us and walked behind us looking down at her phone the ENTIRE time we were out. My wife and I had made multiple attempts to try to conversate and talk with Olivia but the whole time we got really short and somewhat rude answers from her every time. Finally we went back to the hotel and after having taken my wife back to her barracks, Olivia becomes talkative and loud and wants to watch a movie together and pretty much just acts like her normal self again.

A day later I picked my wife up and she decided that they wanted to take me to a history museum as a date, (at the time Olivia was asleep in the hotel and I had even tried to wake her up earlier that morning but had no luck) we ended up having an amazing time just the two of us. After we had returned from said date we had asked Olivia what she wanted to do and we didn’t really get an answer, “idk” , “whatever you wanna do” , “idc” , you get the point. So we ended up taking her to the mall, now I am a big fan of crystals and the mall that we went to had an amazing little shop filled with all kinds of crystals and other spiritual things. Olivia ended up becoming quite upset in the store to do the fact that she wanted to buy a specific ring but didn’t have the money for it. Now usually my wife and I might buy said item if its within reason but this ring was $100+ so there was no way we were going to be able to do that and Olivia seemed to get extremely offended that my wife had bought me crystals and Olivia got nothing. (Now this part I may be imagining that she was upset with us but she was definitely upset and made that clear to us).

A few more days pass and Faith is here, her and Olivia decide they’re going to do there on thing and go out and go to the beach and such. After the second day of Faith being here, her and Olivia planned to return to Faith’s hometown and I would drive there the next day to get Olivia and then we would drive to our home state. Well being that I don’t have any responsibilities back home my wife had asked about me possibly staying with her instead of going back home, and if any of you are a military spouse or even LDR you know you would rather be with the person you love than across the country without them. So being that my wife and I could actually be together and see each other everyday again (mind you yes it had only been 2 months since we saw each other last, it’s been 8 months since we were able to see each other everyday) we decided to ask Olivia if she would be willing to take the bus back home so she could go back to work and we’d pay for her trip. Now we did not book the ticket or anything at all, we simply asked if she would be willing. (To add I have ridden the bus for 56 hours here and back before so round trip about 112 hours on the bus, so it’s not like we were asking her to do something we wouldn’t do ourselves).

Olivia BLEW UP on me, she began telling me how I was a terrible friend and she would never do that to me if the roles were reversed, she came after my wife for being upset about paying for the hotel and claimed that “she should have never been upset because now she’s turning around and being okay with spending money.” She also tried to claim that we didn’t like her and we were pushing her away (we literally paid for her to go on a trip across the country and she decided to hangout with someone else instead of us). To which at some point just became a back and forth until she began comparing my relationship to hers and other people’s relationships and at that point I had, had enough and told her that if she wanted to continue to say disrespectful things about my wife or I she could at that point for her own way home and we wouldn’t pay for it at all. By then she stopped responding to me until the next day when I texted her to tell her I was having some personal issues that would possibly cause me to have to stay anyways and then she told me that she already had her own way home and then completely cut contact.

So AITAH for wanting to stay with my wife and pay for my ex-best friend to go back home?

Hi 15f, I just needed clarity on this, but today a friend and I were talking about how especially now there are so many double standards when looking at Christianity and other minor religions. I’d say we were talking pretty quietly, but I was talking about how the religion is something I respect more of as well as all the other religions, but it’s always Christians preaching and forcing religion down throats and not other minority religions (not saying this can’t happen, just saying it doesn’t happen a lot and isn’t treated the same). As in when a Christian does it, it’s glorified preaching, but if a different religion did it, let’s say a Muslim did something similar, people would have a big issue with it. Moreover, it was that kind of conversation, but I’d say we weren’t hating on the religion, just more of some of the followers. Anyways, this guy who’s a Christian really sweet, but he started saying we should respect religions and that not all Christians were like that, and so I agreed with him and told him I was just talking about my own experience, and he gets this piss face and walks away.

Anyways, should I apologize? Or was he overreacting? It was never my intention to be rude, and it was a conversation between me and a friend only. Also I live in Texas so ugh that says everything already 😭😭

I (26F) helped my friend Lydia (26F) plan our best friend Sarah’s (27F) birthday party. Lydia spent around $250 on decorations. I couldn’t contribute as much financially because of bills and gas, but I bought the food and did most of the driving. I spent around $160 on gas.
Early in the party, I and two other girls put some cake on Sarah’s face. She normally laughs things like that off, but this time she got upset and went upstairs crying. I gave her space and apologized later. She eventually said things were fine.
Later, Sarah and Lydia asked me to pick up two guys who lived pretty far away. I eventually agreed. When we returned, I found out that Sarah, Lydia, and the two guys had been smoking in my car. I have always had one rule for my car: no drugs or alcohol. I told them they needed to stop, and they got out and I locked my car. Later, they went back into the car (somehow getting ahold of my keys) and did it again despite knowing my rule. I got upset and told them they couldn’t continue doing that.
The situation became an argument, and Sarah blamed me for the two guys eventually leaving because I had confronted them. There was an altercation between Sarah and my boyfriend Noah (27M), and we had to separate them. At that point, I decided it was best to take everyone home.
During the drive, Sarah continued arguing with Noah and insulting him. I asked everyone to stop because I was driving and didn’t want the situation to escalate again. Eventually, I pulled over because I no longer felt comfortable driving while everyone was arguing. Sarah told me to either drop her off or “deal with it.” She also said she would get the police involved if I stopped driving her, even though I had previously been giving her rides to work almost every day.
I ultimately dropped her off somewhere with other people around. Her phone was charged, and everyone knew where she was. Later, I told her and Lydia that I needed some time to process everything.
Instead, they contacted me saying I owed Lydia $200 for decorations because they claimed the decorations were “ruined.” I told them I never agreed to reimburse her for the decorations, especially since she chose to spend the money herself. I also pointed out that I had spent money on food and gas and had allowed everyone to use my car and my house for the party (some damages as well) despite having a clear rule about it.
They then insulted me and called me names. I stopped responding and said I would not be paying the $200.
So, AITBA for enforcing my car rule, refusing to pay for decorations I never agreed to reimburse, and ending the ride when I no longer felt comfortable driving during an escalating argument?

I have a really close friend who has a heart of gold. Very empathetic and a great friend. She confided in me that about three years ago, she was mid twenties couldn’t find a job and had no money and would sometime steal from friends to able to afford food. She felt terrible and nothing like that has happened since. She also said she borrowed the backs of her mother’s diamond earrings with the intention of putting them back but she forgot and her mother asked about it and she said she knew nothing about it. She returned them then of course but still. Should I be weary about having her in my life and feel bad doubting it. Is it a big deal? I feel bad for because the guilt is really playing with her

Ok so I work for an airline and travel for free and so do my companions and parents . At my job I’m constantly booking and rerouting passengers and handling canceled flights and rescheduling. I never travel except on my birthday. All I do is go to work and go home .my 1 and only boundary is “ if you need a flight please give me a two week heads up so I’m not rushing and dropping everything because you’re stranded somewhere.” I’m always the one who has to say yes . I have no boundaries .

It’s either I do it or I’m selfish. I never EVER can say no or else I get it from all sides . When I tell my mom no she rallies my siblings against me ( I’m the youngest ) to bully me into saying yes because “ she’s my mom , she’s the only one we get, this that this that .

The last time I said no to my mom because she didn’t let me know 2 weeks in advance ( also because the east coast was going through it with a tornado , 7 cancelations , a fire and a flood ) I just knew her flight to a major hub would get cancelled . Lo and behold she went anyway and bought a ticket aaaand got stuck. Then she called me saying she’s stuck and I NEED to book her a flight home . I said no I told you not to go . I told you you’d get stuck . I’m not saving you . She sat in the airport because what did she want me to do ? Fly the plane?

Anyway here’s the problem and here’s why I feel so bad

My birthday is in September

I have been planing an international trip for a year and 7 months I have booked everything I have a whole itinerary booked and scheduled even three rest days . I just WANT TO RELAX from work all I do is work . I don’t go to parties , I don’t club, I don’t do drugs, I don’t run the streets . Nothing . Just work and home . and I deserve a break just like anyone else right ? not worry about booking any flights anywhere . I told my family no flights while I’m gone I’m going on vacation to celebrate my birthday for 3 weeks in September ( my moms birthday is at the end of that month )

As soon as I told my mother that I won’t be booking any more flights during my trip she exploded into 12 different places she needed to be ( no heads up no communication about it until I said it’s off limits ) the most important place she needs to be is MY FLIPPIN SISTERS BIRTH of my nephew I HAD NO IDEA SHE WAS DUE no one told me anything . I knew she was pregnant duh but I didn’t know I’d be away during the birth. I feel so bad because my sister called me selfish for not booking the flight . And I do feel selfish I can still do it I guess but I know what’s going to happen . If my mom gets stuck she will call me to fix it then I’m right back at work 😭 instead of taking pictures and enjoying this trip I’ve always wanted to go on I’m hovered over my phone stressing about my mom and sister half way across the world .

They only call me when they need a flight never to check on me . I’ve told them I could be laying in my room ☠️ and no one would know because they don’t call or text to check on me unless they want a flight . It makes me feel awful

I m the youngest . Why am i responsible for everyone’s travel just because of where I work . Why am I selfish because I wanted one trip
I feel horrible . But can’t my mom just buy a ticket ? This seems like something you’d need to confirm on rather than stand by right? I feel so bad for my sister because I really didn’t know . I’m not being spiteful I promise . This is exactly why I asked for a heads up . So things like this don’t happen. I’m worried that because I have no boundaries with my family if I fold I’ll teach them that my words mean nothing and my boundaries can be beaten down if they hit hard enough. I’m very emotional birth is only once . I don’t hate my sister . I don’t hate anyone . What should I do . Am I the a hole? Please help me

AITA

I was at the park(on the playground) with my 3 year old, she was playing with a park friend, there's a baseball game going on behind us as dusk is setting. Then a groups of teens come to the park, which is no problem, but today was different. They laid down and started cuddling on the ground, which made me uncomfortable but whatever you know lol. Then they start kissing, passionately. I walk over and say "hey if yall are going to be making out, maybe go to your car or something, not a children's playset". The young man immediately denied that they kissed, and said he felt offended, and said I was weird for watching. I reiterated that my daughter is 3, there are children running around playing, that this just isn't the place.

Was i just for confronting them?

Does my friend have the right to be so mad at me for having to drive us home after drinking because I was too drunk

I gave her a free ride to the club and she drove my own car back home but I think she got an uber to her house

I told her I would be drinking b this time I got sick and was throwing up

I just can’t take her seriously I give her free rides all the time

I (16F) have a close friend, who I’ll call A (16F). A also has a best friend, S (15M). They’ve been best friends since A was 14, so obviously they’re much closer than A and I are.

A has a pretty serious heart condition and was in hospital for quite a while because of it. When she came back, she had a meeting with the school, and eventually it was decided that she would be homeschooled because of her condition.
A is also pretty particular about who she’s friends with. She’s had issues with people not respecting her boundaries, so she’s very careful about who she trusts.

Me, A and S are all in the same English class. There are three girls in the class who A has had issues with, and we all know they talk behind her back. I’m not friends with these girls and don’t really talk to them.
S, however, talks to them. He says that because he’s friends with one of them, he has to talk to all three. A doesn’t actually care that S talks to people she doesn’t like, and neither do I. That’s not the issue.
The issue is that before those girls even came into class, I specifically told S that if anyone asked where A was, not to tell them she was being homeschooled. I wasn’t telling him to lie or anything dramatic , just say she was away or that he didn’t know.

Well, one of those girls asked S where A was.
And S literally told her that A was being homeschooled. Apparently, he then told pretty much everyone else who asked too.

I found out and obviously told A because I felt like she had a right to know that people were being told about something personal involving her.

Later, I got home and S texted me. We ended up arguing back and forth about the whole situation. At one point he started coming at me about my makeup, which had absolutely nothing to do with the argument. I made a comment about his weight in response, which I know wasn’t exactly mature, but it shut the argument down. I also told him that if I tell A what happened at school and he ends up looking like the bad guy, that’s not because I’m trying to make him look bad. It’s because of the things he actually did.

Now I’m pretty sure he’s going to tell almost everyone in our class about the argument.
Honestly, I don’t really care anymore.

But now I’m wondering if I was actually wrong for telling A what he said. I wasn’t trying to start drama or get A angry at him. I just thought she deserved to know that S was telling people about her situation after I’d specifically asked him not to.

So, AITA?

Okay sorry in advance for any english mistake I'm not a native

To make it short, last night my friend of 1 year (Lola) called me telling me she got into a fight with my best friend (Emily). Lola told me that they were planning a trip with Lola's best friend (Katie) and an other friend I'm close to (Stella). At first Lola told me that I should come into the trip since I'm close to everyone except Katie. But when she proposed it in the gc (I'm not in the gc) Emily and Katie said no because it would not be practical for the bedrooms. And then Emily said that she wouldn't take place in the trip because it was at Malta and she is in a relationship. AT this moment Katie became rude like saying "I'll pray he'll dump you right before the summer holidays so you'll regret not taking the plane tickets with us", "Are you really going to stay with "that" (referring to Emily's boyfriend) for the rest of your life ?" stuff like that... After that the fight started, Stella defended Emily and Lola was with Katie. Lola told me that everything Katie said was a "joke" but I'm not so sure anymore. At the time of the fight I only had Lola's point of view.

AFter that Stella added Ethan (Emily's boyfriend) into the gc and he began slurring Lola and Katie but mostly Katie and Emily didn't tell him to stop. Things escalated and Emily began to insult Katie and Lola after Lola said "your bf got too much ego just because (his ex) don't stop licking his b...." (masculine attribute). Emily got mad and I didnt have all the point of view. ANd Lola was not explaining everything so I was like "omg why is she insulting you ? im chocked" and I thought Emily was in the wrong.

AFter that Katie got really mad about Ethan insulting her so she called dudes to scare him off. I told her that I didn't think it was a great idea but she did it anyway. Emily got even madder when Ethan told her that some random dudes were threatening him.

This morning Lola said to Emily that I was on Katie and Lola's side and Emily came to me to explain her pov but before that Lola asked me to not change my mind on my opinion. Like I told her that I was on their side she asked me to not let Emily change my mind. So I said yes ofc. BUt then Emily explain and I actually get it... I kind of changed my opinion but anyway I'm not in their stories ?? I did not do anything and Emily is kind of disappointed in me for staying with Lola even after what she did to her and her bf.

Now Katie did a story on snapchat, telling her friends the story, but it's so strange to do that. There's like a lot of people on her story. And Emily want me to tell to Lola that its strange to do that. But I don't wanna get in this fight... I love both of them and next week Lola is coming to my beach appartement.

Please help me I beg you

I had picked up two of my friends in order to be brought to another friend’s house so we could all hang out. I was driving about an hour in order to give everyone rides. That morning I explained that my stomach hurt so I would be comfortable to be the designated driver ie not drink or smoke. When we were driving both friends were under the influence and offered me weed, I declined since I was driving. We had been in the car for maybe fifteen minutes, when I lost control of the wheel. It was on a bendy mountain road. I flew into a ditch, airbags deployed, and the car was totaled.
When the crash was happening I tried to aim for the ditch so that we wouldn’t keep spinning or go off into the nearby lake. The drivers side of the car was what got the worst impact and I was the only one who needed medical attention. My hand is purple and no longer moves. I needed stitches from the broken glass and burns from the airbag. I’m sure my friends are also incredibly bruised up and whiplashed but have no serious injuries. I tried my best to make sure they were the ones to stay safe. We were in a no service area so we had to wait awhile for help. My friends pulled themselves out of the car, and left me there, which I wasn’t upset about since they were probably in shock. I eventually managed to climb out of the car before anyone arrived. My friends hugged me when I was finally able to get out of the car. At the scene they both told me it wasn’t my fault and they were glad I was okay. Since the accident I have been ghosted by both people who were in the car. They won’t even tell me if they’re okay. I’ve called and texted.
The friend whose house that we were headed to said that both my friends texted her and others I was driving reckless and dangerous before the crash even happened. I had no idea. We were all having a good time together talking about music and the accident happened out of nowhere. Not once did anyone say my driving was bad before the accident. Now I’m being blamed and told that I was driving recklessly/carelessly/ and purposely put my friend’s lives at risk. That I ignored their concerns. I’m so confused since they were the ones offering me WEED before the accident even happened which would make me more of a careless driver and I said no. I wish my friends told me they felt uncomfortable before the accident. My friends won’t talk to me until I “apologize for my recklessness”. I took accountability as the driver and apologized to everyone involved including for feeling unsafe in my vehicle, but I do not feel as though my driving was reckless. people saw the accident happen and said I did a good job controlling it, I have witnessed statements from the scene saying I wasn’t speeding, and I wasn’t filed any tickets from the police. I was asking my friends to even change music/send text for me so that I wouldn’t be distracted. someone who wasn’t even in the car is making conclusions about what happened. My two other friends don’t have drivers licenses and we’re high at the time of the accident. Yet my friend who wasn’t there is immediately believing the story of what happened given by two high and traumatized people, not the sober driver.
I feel like it is my fault, I know it was just an accident, but the way that my friends are acting makes me feel horrible.
Everything that I did leading up to the accident is being put under a microscope. Since my stomach hurt I’m now being told that I shouldn’t have even been driving since I wasn’t feeling good. My friends are saying that I passed a car in a double yellow line. Meanwhile, I pass an oversized truck in dotted line going under the speed limit. Everything leading up to the accident is a reason I shouldn’t have been driving. When nobody told me they felt this way. They’ve all just been talking about me behind my back. After the accident they all went back to the dorms together and as the night progressed they seemed to paint me as a worst person. i’ve tried my best to be the best friend I can, throwing birthday parties, cooking, inviting them over to my home, making gifts. It hurts so bad that they think I’m this type of person. I also had no idea that they felt unsafe in my vehicle and it pains me they didn’t tell me and instead talked crap about me over text. I’m at the point now. I think I’m just going to block everybody. I feel so alone and helpless. I am a relatively new driver and still of college age so I understand that my driving is not up there with someone who has been behind the wheel for decades, but everyone who has ever been in car with me says I’m a safe driver.
I haven’t been able to get into a car without sobbing, at this point I’m not sure if I can get behind the wheel again.

Me, Codie and Melissa planned to go to the mall. My brother dropped us off near the train station , we were about to cross , when we realised the pedestrian lights weren’t working. We waited for a bit, but nothing was happening. There was a car waiting and it was FULLY STOPPED, so we decided to cross.
I’m literally almost at the other side when Melissa suddenly GRABS ME BY MY QUARTER ZIP AND DRAGS ME forward mind you I was going there anyway .
I pushed her off me and said, “Let go of me. Don’t drag me like that.” She started giving me attitude, and I was like, “THAT’S A CROSSING. The cars will wait bro.”

I told her again not to drag me like that, and she goes:
“Or what?”

At that point I was actually annoyed because why are you physically dragging me by my clothes instead of just telling me to stop?
Anyway, we eventually caught the train. I was sitting by myself while Codie and Melissa were sitting on the other side. They basically wouldn’t talk to me, so I was like, alright then.
I decided I’d just get off at our destination and either get my brother to pick me up or catch the train back home.
So we get to our destination, I get off, buy another ticket and literally hop back on the train to go home.
Then they message/ask me, “Where you going?”
I ignored them and left.
I haven’t really spoken to them since.
BUT THEN Melissa’s mum texted me saying she’s going to make me brownies to make it up to me 😭😭
Now I’m sitting here wondering if I overreacted.
I understand Melissa might have been trying to stop me from getting hit because the pedestrian lights weren’t working, but I genuinely didn’t like being grabbed and dragged by my quarter zip, especially when I was already almost across and the car had stopped.
So Reddit… AITA for reacting like that and leaving instead of talking to them?

Today, I confessed to my nice friend that I told her boyfriend about her messy dating life and it did not end well.

We've been together since tenth grade because she used to get bullied about her male-centered behaviour, despite her questionable decisions she's quite nice I admit if not the best. Back then I approached her wishing she'd have a change of ways once we'd get to know each other, since it was really sad to see her outcasted by other female classmates. Five years later now I realized why she was never favoured by my other classmates.

She had never been a good friend to me she was just nice for the sake of our history. She only ever approached me when she had issues with her boyfriends. Inspite of never taking much interest in my conversations or problems, we stayed together so as to not get lonely and it was fun. During our high school, she started lying to the teachers extensively by using my name and ditched important classes to spend time with her boyfriend in the spare classroom which led me in detention many times. Upon being confronted, she took it lightly and asked me to "learn to do favours for her as a friend". She also always tended to romanticize her sexual assault and kept in touch with her abuser. She glorified any basic male interaction, flirted with boys who slutshamed her and never set boundaries with anyone which later led to a much grave predicament.

During our senior year, because of her lack of boundaries a christian boy happened to caress her butt during the recess. Miraculously, she decided to report it to the class teacher that very day which was very unlikely of her and I was really proud of her for doing so. I was also aware of her reputation and perception that the faculty held of her which couldn't help her much in this case yet I was determined to help her. The report ended up backfiring on her and the missionary administration pleaded the boy not guilty. Later she severed ties with the boy and started showing real change or as I was hoping it to be.

Over the whole discourse I gave her the benefit of the doubt of her vulnerability and gave her a second chance to be better and to not decenter boys that would ruin her life once again. I also insisted her to focus on her career and seek betterment for herself.

A year later, she continued using my name as a bait and had affairs with different boys. Today, I decided to cut her off and told her boyfriend about it. Her boyfriend is just as shitty as she is. A misogynist with a cheating history. I've always known they'd make me the bait for their own faults and direct their accountability, regardless of that, I gathered the courage to do so. I've never had any ill intention or any grievance towards them I just want peace from this emotional dilemma I've been caught up on. I took the messenger's fall lol. I advised her, wanted better for her but in vain she's now angry at me that WHY i let her shitty boyfriend know about her shitty actions.

AITBA for choosing to distance myself after friend accused *me* of being racist and then said it was a joke

This happened on thursday (Aug. 13). I only share two classes with this friend, one of them being digital marketing.

My teacher told us to get into partners to complete a questionnaire. I, obviously, turned to this friend and asked to work together. He told me that he didn't want to work with me and then said I was racist.

Mind you, I am hispanic + latina and I've NEVER been racist to someone, not in pub nor priv because I've been taught by my parents growing up that saying the N word is a hard NO. For example, I do listen to songs that contain this word, but when I'm singing along, I don't mention the N word, neither do I hum it.

Anyways, I told him "look, I'm not racist, can I know who told you this about me?", he then told me that my own sister told him the day before.

Atp, I was already hurt, I get my sister was out for vengeance, but I didn't think she'd go this far as to ruin my friendship with this guy and spread lies about me.

Since I knew I wasn't gonna be able to convince him I wasn't racist, I went back to my desk. When I was about to sit down he told me it was a prank and my sister had NEVER said that about me.

I was so mad that I couldn't look at him the same and I'm not sure if I can talk to him on Monday given I'll have that class with him again that day.

!This story talks about mental health issues and SH!

I (16F) have this "friend" who was really cool when I first met her. I'll call her J. Well J deals with mental health issues and at first she would ask to vent and stuff which was fine because I was open to comforting people when they ASKED but eventually she just stopped asking and started dumping stuff onto me without permission. She also started showing me her self harm which again, was without permission. I tried to be there for her but it just grew to be too much. I myself have dealt with issues like that so seeing that was really triggering but as I said, I tried to be there for her.

Well after a while of it happening I eventually asked her to stop. I messaged her basically saying that I didn't like when she dumped stuff on me and she left me on read..and kept doing it.

It upset me a lot and one day I just snapped and said something along the lines of

"J not everyone's lives revolves around you and you can't just expect people to be able to be there for you all the time and you're an asshole for ignoring my boundaries"

well she quietly left class to go to the bathroom and I found out from my other friends that she cried because of what I said and my friends are mad at me now. They're saying I shouldn't have "yelled" at her and that "It wasn't that hard to just suck it up and be there for her". I do think I shouldn't have called her a name but I didn't really mean it in the moment. I'm also being told that I "faked my health issues because I wasn't understanding". My friends keep telling me to apologize and I'm starting to feel guilty for making J feel worse than she was already was feeling. I'm debating between apologizing and just cutting off contact to J fully. I need help on deciding what to do.

**Also me and J haven't been friends for a long time it's only been around 5 months**