r/AmITheBadApple

This post has myself (15F), my best friend. let's call her Lilly fake name, who's also (15F), my brother (18m) and my parents. You can use your imagination for them.

So this all started around early February. Over dinner, when my parents asked me who I wanted to invite to my sweet 16,I replied to them that I just wanted to go to SJ (Shore Junction) with Lilly. This made my mum mad because I'm turning 16 and this is a milestone birthday etc. I don't like being the center of attention, so a big, sweet 16 was and would have sounded appealing. So I thought that was the end of that. Now fast ford till a few days ago. My mum took me dress shopping, and one thing about me is that I always dress comfortably, not fashionable, so this raised a couple of alarms in my head, so when I asked, mum she told me that it was for when I "finally choose to dress more like the young women I'm becoming." My dad then chimed in and said that he only has one son so he doesn't know why both his kids dress like a boy.My parents also make very weird comments about the fact I don't where makeup.It fells weird and I hate the texture of it all together.So its safe to say its not my kind of thing. Right now that dress is hanging up in my wardrobe and make up on my side table. according to my mum shes has invited the hole extended family and there so excited I asked her what for.I knew Iv already told her I was just going to hang out with my Lilly for a few hours then spend the rest of the day reading (book's are my escape.) My mum said that her and my dad had planned me a big sweet 16 like 400 ish people(I DON'T KNOW THAT MEANY PEOPLE) so just because I'm nosy AF I asked who apart from our family she invited here's a few so you can get a picture.That one woman who baby sate me when I was 2 her family 4 kids puss her husband (Who is this woman and her kids and her husband I have no idea) everyone we went to church with (we stop going when I was 4 or 5 ) people from mum's work (she works with early child care so there will be a lot of baby) I'm not a fan of loud noses. There's a lot more random people shes named like people I went to daycare with and even people my brother went to daycare with.When I vented to my brother about all of this keep in mind he also hates being the center of attention told me to "suck it up for mum." So I asked him if he would have on his 16th he told me that would never happen and that it's a girl thing and I have to stop being selfish. My brother is normally on my side, so now I'm wondering if I'm just being selfish and if I should just go to "my" sweet 16 to keep the peace. Lilly said that she would support me either way as long as I'm happy. So I don't know Am I the bad apple for not wanting a sweet 16 and would I be if I just don't go and just went to SJ with Lily.

My husband and I have been buying video games our son (10) has showed interest in, and seems to enjoy when playing those games with us.

We buy them on steam and have even set up the account just for him, so when he gets his new computer, He gets to have fun.

We are definitely gonna have limited screen time, and make sure he’s not obsessed over video games, He spends time outside with us, and loves being in the present moment with us, but on our game nights, He’s super excited to boot up the Xbox/PS, He loves getting to be my second player to my player one.

But I made a post about it, and I’m being bashed for it! From I’m a weirdo, to I’m a horrible parent! I don’t know why it’s so wrong to want my son to enjoy being a kid?

AITBA?

I (22 f) are in college. For my psychology class I had to write a paper about how our beliefs and perceptions changed over the semester. I early in the semester was in a very toxic relationship where the guy did a lot of sexual deeds I was not okay with. This eventually ended our relationship and I wrote about how I started to find God and peace after such a traumatic event. My teacher read this and emailed me telling me she was going to report this to the title IX. I upset skipped her class the next day and she emailed me if I was okay. I emailed back and told her I was frustrated she reported me and I would have appreciated a conversation. She sent me an email back and told me she didn’t feel a conversation was important. I understand she is a mandatory reporter, but I’m would have appreciated a convo. The rest of the year I ignored her. Am I the bad apple?

TW: mentions of SH and ED

This is a long one but PLEASE READ.

(for reference, I live in the United Kingdom and I am doing a gap year course before I go to university. So I am going to be saying college 1 (reffering to the college I am at now) and college 2 (reffering to the one I am going to In the coming September)

Hi everyone. I (18 F) have a 'friend' (17 F) who I go to College with. I say friend bc she is the kind of person to make you feel so incredibly small.

For context, we are both in our final year of Musical Theatre College, and today I found out that she has got a place at the college I was going to. Now normally that wouldn't be a problem. The college we are going to (college 2), I have been working with for the last 2 years and have become quite popular by doing their summer camps. Teachers and students know me and actually LOVE ME, which is quite a change as due to my AuADHD and just general quirkyness, have been bullied out of 3 different schools by normal boring ppl.

I was lucky enough to earn a scholarship to a Musical theatre sixth form (college 1) and was honestly having a ball, and getting ready to audition for universities. Now the 2nd year I was there, this girl joins who seems nice at first, if not a bit intimidating. But nonetheless I'm kind and nice, idc what someone looks or acts like, theres always a chance I'm missing something from a situation and given my past of being bullied, Id never want someone to feel the way I did.

This girl seems sweet as when she joins but slowly I start to see more and more cracks in her persona. It all comes to a head when I'm having deep conversation with her about a mutual friend (who also goes to the college who Is horrible) and says she likes to grab ppl without their consent, so to watch out.

(Just Incase anyone wants to come for me for saying this, this girl (20 F) who we are talking about, is a compulsive liar, has talked horrendously about me and everyone else in our college, has fat shamed, body shamed, is homophobic, transphobic and has also been trying to steel my bf of 2 years)

The girl who I am talking to, intentionally or miss intentionally tells our teachers that I am accusing this other girl of Sexually Assaulting me and others. This baffles me, as even tho I said she is a bit too touchy, I never accused her of anything. So this whole thing happens at school and time goes on. The girl apologized to me, stating she feels terrible and she obviously got things wrong. I forgive her of course as it was just an accident but as a victim of SA and DV it does trigger me now when she's around. But again, she didn't mean it.

Time goes on, I thought we were on good terms. But over time her general demeanour becomes more and more bitchy and hostile. Every single conversation consists of "who TF asked you" and "don't care" and more and more hurtful things. Now as a neurodivergent queen, I just assume I'm misinterpreting things, as when I confront her, saying how it makes me really upset and uncomfortable how every time she speaks to me in front of others, it's an insult. She claims that's "just her humour and how she jokes with others" but I told her it is making me upset and she doesn't stop, plus she never does it with other ppl. Also, teachers have called her out for her bitchy behaviors and warned her that if she doesn't fix it there will be consequences. But I want the friends, so I'm nice, polite and offer to do her coursework for her when she's too tired as a like writing. (I've stopped becoming such a pushover since so dw) .

But tbh it's not like there's anything about her body language that would tell me it's a joke. All signs point towards it being true. And considering no one in the school talks to me outside of it, invites me out. I know they're making fun of me behind my back and, from the bottom of my heart, I have done NOTHING to warrant it.

I know people on Reddit will always tell their stories in a way that makes them look better, but that's not what I'm doing since I want genuine advice. She makes fun of me every day and (in addition to my terrible audition season) has caused me to get diagnosed with severe depression and struggling with an eating disorder.

I feel so lonely, all the people I want to be my friends treat me like shit, leave me out, and make me the butt of the joke. The only person who has my back is my boyfriend who is at university in Cardiff and I'm really popular there as well, proving there's nothing wrong with me. I'm all smiles and kindness.

I've talked to the teachers about how she treats me makes me extremely uncomfortable too, and they've reassured me it's not my fault and she is just like that. They know she treats me like that and notices how sad it makes me but at the end of the day, it is such a small school and we are leaving in a matter of weeks that they genuinely can't do much except talk to her (they have, it's done nothing).

Today I find she has got a place at School 2, where I am a big fish in their pond. When I tried to dap her up in congratulations, she looked me up and down like I was pathetic and walked away. I played it off like a joke as per usual while everyone laughed at me. 'poor little Cece with no mates, who no one likes'. I want to ditch her as soon as possible, since I know I can. As soon as we get to School 2, I will be higher on the social food chain, I have the power to make fun of her (not that I would ofc) and I can finally feel free and accepted without this stereotypical mean girl dragging along behind me.

My problem is, I know she has been hurt too. I recognize a lot of herself in me. I notice how she HAS to be liked by EVERYONE. I notice how she she has scars on her arms. I notice how she always has to get a reaction, to be seen as fun so she doesn't have to be out casted like me.

She bullies me because she sees who she was in me.

I want to ditch her as soon as I join my other friends at School 2, but I'm scared of what might happen to her. She's vulnerable, scared and damaged too. She's just a human. But she's hurting me every single day I see her. And she knows she is.

So Reddit, PLEASE TELL ME.

AITBA

He wasn’t a good person. Is it sad he died? Yeah. Do I feel bad? No. He brought it all on himself by doing every drug under the sun, ruining people’s lives and he was still somehow well liked through out our community. I’m literally the only one out of everyone I went to high school with that is glad he’s dead. He was a toxic, deadweight piece of shit. How is it only I saw who he really was?

I (27F) have a grandmother (84F) who is a RAGING…… well since this is related to family friendly content I’ll keep it clean but you get it. According to my father she was abusive. She would hit her kids, call them names, and she even had MULTIPLE daughters (5) JUST so that she could have a son (my father). Well you know how grandmas are usually COMPLETELY different people to their grandkids than their children? Yea not the case for this woman. Not only did she call my little sister a “disappointment” when my mom and dad found out that she was a girl but she also SO OBVIOUSLY favors my little brother. She even gave him her house in her will instead of her OWN DAUGHTER who allowed her to move into a trailer placed on HER LAND. Growing up she once slammed me against a wall and called me a b¡$ch for keeping the door open for too long while talking to my dad. And then after my parents divorced she constantly talked ill of my mother and how “awful she was to her precious baby boy”. My husband and I have even agreed to keep interaction between her and my daughter to a MINIMUM like once a year at Christmas IF THAT. Any way I could tell a million stories about how awful this woman is and all the things she did but I’ll cut to the chase. My mom and two sisters were out walking when my younger sister said how awful it is that my dad and aunt were talking about putting my grandma into a nursing home because their lives are busy and the don’t have time to always be babysitting my grandma. She has possible early onset dementia and needs more help, attention, and protection that my father and aunt can’t provide for her right now. My mom said that she is still their mother and that you should always have respect for them and always take care of them as they took care of you. And in our religion (we are Christians) it’s very important to honor our father and mother. They were going on and on and on and I chimed in and said “I completely thinks it’s acceptable to put her in a nursing home considering the level of help she needs and because she was a raging Cee U Next Tuesday most of her life” and when they said that was awful to say and that I would miss having a grandmother one day I said “not her, I don’t think that I will even cry at her funeral. I’ll cry for my dad cause I’m an empath and will probably cry for my dad and his feelings, but I will NOT cry because she is dead”. Though my feelings are still the same I can’t help feel bad for what I said especially infront of my mother and sister and that she is still my grandmother. We did have a few good times when I was a kid. So am I the bad apple?

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I'm 18f and i've been struggling generally with friendships my whole life. it's either they wrong me or i wrong them or we just stop talking for no reason and no friendship ever lasts. the only lasting friend that i have had for years now is my cousin and i don't think that it counts because we're related. my other longest friendship i cut off randomly with no explanation whatsoever after a last straw that i realized that the effort i was putting in being a good friend to her was much bigger than the effort she was putting and it made me feel stupid, she also did a lot of things that hurt me and I talked to her about it multiple times but she never bothered to change (tho i really fucking miss her and recently unblocked her but we didn't talk).

many of my friends tell me that i sound cold in texts even though i don't mean to, I also tend to overshare A LOT. and I also gossip about people who are not my friends (but if two people know one another i never tell them gossip about eachother) BUT recently i had a huge fight with one of my friends because she was talking shit about a deaf girl that we used to be friends with, said girl asked me if my friend and another was talking shit about her and made me promise to tell the truth and I told her yes because i pitied her, i made her promise not to confront them and she did (bitch lied. she went and told my friend everything). i tried to deny it at first when confronted because i'm a fucking coward (i'm still embarrassed) but eventually i went to her and told her everything and deeply apologized but she harshly rejected it and blocked me. i didn't get upset because i understood her anger but i was so fucking pissed off at the deaf girl because not only did she betray me after begging me to say the truth and guilt tripping me with her disability but she also painted me as the bad guy to my friend and kept lying to me to the very end.

another one of my negativities is that if i had two friends and on of them did me wrong in a way, I'd keep ranting about said wrong doing to the other. it's not really talking shit but i'd keep talking about how horrible they were for doing it, and it lead to a friendgroup breakup once.

another negativity is that my feelings completely switch up on a person the moment they hurt me even a little. i'd stop talking to them and completely withdraw myself until they approach me nicely again and then i'd return to normal. meaning that my feelings about someone usually depend on their most recent action even if they were close to me.

the reason i'm posting this because yesterday my friend told me that our shared friend (my online bsf and kinda his gf idk, i met him through her) told him that she doesn't trust me enough to tell me things about her even though i tell her every single detail abt myself. her reasoning was that that she feared i would shame her for them later and that she saw me telling her stuff about people that she does not know and would never meet in her life. i asked her abt it and she said "eh, that's true.'' i told her ''but i've never shamed my friends with information they trusted me with? and even then if that was my intentions for u then i wouldn't be telling u every single thing abt myself'' she said ''but u told me stuff about your ex friends that were supposed to be secrets.'' i asked her to give me an example and she left me on read. our shared friend then kindly confirmed that i am indeed not friendship material and that i shouldn't be sad and just work on it. he told me that i can sometimes sound aggressive and sound like i'm pulling info out of someone. but i can't help but be upset because i genuinly love and trusted my online bsf and realizing that the feeling wan not fully mutual made me feel horrible.

am i like, awful?

This story happened a little under a year ago, but it still haunts me to a degree and the fallout lasted for a week (I swear I’m not being dramatic)

I was eating breakfast before school and my mom was nearby putting on makeup. Now, my family has two dogs, one of which is a papillon. For those who don’t know, papillons can be very manipulative when begging for food, ours in particular likes to prod at your arm or even pull your hand close to her, sometimes a little whine too. Now this is very adorable, obviously. But in the past, when I’ve eaten this particular breakfast, when giving her a bite, she spits it out. This has happened multiple times. As a little joke, I just went “no baby, you’re going to just spit it out.” and then continued to eat. My mom went “just give her a bite“ I continued to explain that she would just spit it out like she does every single time. My mom kept pushing, at this point, I had maybe two or three bites left, so just to get my mom to stop, I pinched one end of the food as a small bite and bit the rest off before quickly tossing the food to my dog. (What do you know? She spit it out)

My mom wildly misinterpreted the situation as my shoving the whole thing in my mouth and called me an asshole. This was the first time my mom ever called me anything more extreme than a “brat” or “crybaby“ when I was younger and it hit really deep. We ended up not talking to each other for three days. When my mom finally brought it back up she basically said “what, you want me to apologize? You won’t think I mean it anyway“

This has been resolved a while ago but I still think about it and thinking about it makes me cry. So, am I the bad apple?

My roommate can't read. Not in the illiterate sense or in the literally blind sense. She just can't read because she desperately needs glasses, but thinks prescription glasses are a scam for some reason. If not for me, she'd probably had died from food poisoning by now because she just can't read any labels on her food or see when her food is moldy.

I recently hit a breaking point when my roommate was heating up leftovers and asked if I wanted any. I agreed, but freaked out when I realized the food she was re-heating was very visibly molded. We'd had an agreement over space where I'd leave her stuff alone as long as she left mine alone, but after my freak out, I went through her shelf in the fridge and threw out literally everything that had mold or was past it's expiration date. After that, we had a lengthy discussion about the food in the fridge going forward. We'd agreed, or I thought we had agreed, that moving forward we'd clearly label any homemade food with the date it was made so we could make sure we didn't end up with month old leftovers getting confused with newer leftovers of the same thing.

My roommate likes to reuse glass jars for things, which isn't a problem by itself, but she will keep saving glass jars even as they start to build up and overtake the space, so I have to be the one who puts them in the recycling bin. During a weekly fridge purge, I took out all the jars that had been labeled for April 28th and put all of them in the recycling. So when I went to make lunch on May 9th and found a jar of homemade red sauce that said April 28th on it, I emptied the entire jar into the compost, washed out the jar, and put it in recycling. I thought I'd just missed one during the purge.

Turns out, while I wasn't home on the 8th, my roommate had made a fresh batch on homemade red sauce. Rather than get a jar from the cabinet, she'd pulled a jar out of the recycling bin, washed it, and used that instead. She was furious I'd thrown out her freshly made sauce. She had seen it had a label on it, but couldn't read the date and I guess "April" and "May" look similar enough to her that she didn't think it'd be a problem even after we so recently had to empty the entire fridge because of mold on her food.

I realize I didn't ask before I threw it out, but I honestly never thought she'd remove a jar from the recycling bin when the cabinet is full of them. She's been mad at me all weekend and threatened to throw out my leftovers from last night. Was I the bad apple for throwing it away based on the label and not asking first?

I (16F) have a big brother (18M) who is not actually related to me by blood, he is part of my chosen family, he is 2 years older than me and we are very close.

Typically we are very casual with each other.
Giving each other a fist bump when we pass in the hallway.

You might see an occasional side hug sometimes but that’s usually about it.

However, I struggle with depression and anxiety and I also have very high functioning Autism.
And I have trouble regulating my emotions and I need someone to talk to sometimes.

So whenever my big brother sees me sitting in the back of the room curled up in a ball in our classes together he comes to check if I’m okay.
And then we talk out whatever is bothering me.
and sometimes he will pull me in for a hug because he’s definitely a hugger.

Everything he’s doing is for emotional support.
However since we’re not related by blood and he’s 2 years older than me people have created the narrative that we’re dating.

And for a while we just kind of laughed it off.
Up until a few weeks ago when this 14 year old girl started calling him a pedophile and they got into a heated argument.

We were both pretty triggered by it at the time since that is something we both have trauma with.
The assumption couldn’t be more wrong and we’ve always been more like siblings than anything else.

But that girl told us that she was just saying what everyone else in the class didn’t have the courage to say.

I know she doesn’t know who we are and my big brother told me not to worry about it.
But ever since that incident I feel like whenever we hug that we’re being watched and I hate when people comment on it.

I know they don’t know who we are or the mental struggles I go through.
But I feel like maybe I’m being too open with my emotions during school.
Or that I shouldn’t need as much help from my brother as I do.

I feel like I’m probably in the wrong but I don’t know if I am or not
So am I in the wrong?

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmITheBadApple/comments/1ta6i90/aitah_for_getting_my_class_to_bully_this_girl_for/

so litterally today jasmine got a group of 50 people to chase me home , and my mum had to pick me up and i had to run into the car because people were trying to get in... some girl got into an argument with my literal mother and said shed beat me up herself. im honestly so confused and dazed about this whole thing and its so confusing , she even turned my best friends against me and about 30 people were litterally recording me. people were pouring water all over me and grabbing me. im terrified to go in tommorow, but im gonna try and tuff it out, wml :(

today my brother hit me. i am 21 years old female and he is 19. we were having an argument and i insulted him first by saying fuck you and he got angry and asked why i had to insult him. i wont get into the details of the argument but for me i got mad coz he started by raising his voice at me and i went off on him warning him that if he raises his voice at me he shouldnt expect me to listen. anyway yeah i told him fuck you once during the argument and he got angry asked me why i said that and i told him i just did and that he shouldnt expect an apology from me cos i wont give one while in that state so he might as well just insults me too and we call it even .

Instead he proceeded to say that he will hit me and i got ticked off and i told him if he feels like such a man he should hit me then and he kept saying he will and i kinda got in his face ( emphasis on kinda since he was lying down playing a game on his phone and I was standing) and told him to do it then and walked away from him .

Unfortunately ,he did. he came at me and he punched me repeatedly on my forehead ,on my nose ,on my mouth and in my stomach . he mainly hit my head area. he put me in a headlock and punched me repeatedly while making eye contact hitting my head my nose and my lips till i started bleading profusely and screaming . he was not just angry he wanted to hit me and i know it coz after he put me in the headlock and held eye contact with me his punches became slower and as he hit me there were small pauses like he was observing me like there was an outcome he wanted. he hit me til his hands were bloodly and so was my face. i was screaming as he did and my little brother who is three saw all this began crying and running towards me calling my name alarmed. I was bleeding profusely both from out my nose and mouth . then when he finished he sat down on the chair with is phone like nothing happened and I left immediately and went to the bedroom.

my lip is busted and now as big as my whole thumb, my nose is swollen if not broken, my head has a bump, my front teeth hurt, I bit my tongue so it hurts too , my jaw feels tight and I was overall in pretty bad shape. while hysterical i called my dad and i tried to tell him what was going on but i could barely speak well and he couldnt understand me so he hung up and i think he called my mum afterwards and she called me and i calmed down abit and i told her that i cant stay here with him anymore and she told me not to leave the house and to wait for my aunt to come.

Anyway long story short, i am sure he has no remorse , none at all. I could see it in the way he looked at me after and how he had the audacity to hold eye contact with me afterwards and kind of glare at me . and i know he will justify it by saying i insulted him and he did not insult me. and i feel like my parents will partially blame me for getting confrontational with him when none of this would have probably happenned if i just let it go and kept quiet.

Plz excuse the bad grammar and lack of structure,I'm mostly rambling coz this just happened but I really need to know what y'all think.

So there is this girl, and she is called jasmine. jasmine suddenly came into school this morning claiming she had caught tourettes over the weekend (more specifically coprolalia)

context: coprolalia is basically where you have tourettes but instead of the more average tics you sometimes swear aswell. also i asked her what coprolalia was and she said she had no idea what i was talking about

well, she kept randomly saying the f word mid music lesson , and just making random head movements. i didnt say anything , but ive never heard of people catching disabilities (for quick context here i have asd and my special interest is neuroscience, more specifically things like disabilites.

i was leaving music to go to breaktime with my best friend r, and we were minding our own business. r is friends with jasmine aswell, im not because shes said the n word a bunch and was ableist to me as well as the fact alot of my friends are poc so i distanced myself .

then suddenly jasmine runs up to me and says "youre a fat b!tch!" and then immediately runs away. im now at the point where im like.. sorry what?

i then go to year office and speak to my head of year who says she does NOT have tourettes or any disability at all (she claims to have adhd, ocd, asd and now tourettes)

i go to my re class and then i find that her little sidekick (theyre both knobs thanks for asking) apparently caught tourettes off jasmine. and now theyre both jolting their heads around and swearing mid class. my re teacher obviously is aware of what theyre doing since she studies sociology and also teaches it. this girl who im friends with comes up to me and asks

"why has jasmine and her sidekick got tourettes all of a sudden"

i said that neither of them have tourettes and theyre both faking and that the hoy told me.

jasmine and minion overhear me and are like "no we're not faking , youre being ableist."

same person that called me the r slur btw..

this really popular boy im aquantinces with overhears us. i dont normally talk to this boy but we both like tottenham hotspur so .. and then he litterally told like half our year group about her faking tourettes and now evreyone keeps saying stuff this to her:

"oh no i think i caught tourettes off ya!"

i personally think karmas come back to bite her , but aitah for exposing her?

Hey reddit, I haven’t had the chance to book an appointment with a therapist and want neutral feedback so here I am, lol. I recently cut off a longtime friend and am wondering if I’m the AH for how I went about it.

I lost my grandmother late last year, we weren’t super close but she was my final living grandparent so the loss hit me pretty hard. I tend not to broadcast my life on social media but I did change my pfp and make a post. I got support from essentially all of my friends, but one. One that I had known for ten years and claimed to be a brother. I get to nearly a month after her passing and still heard nothing from said ‘friend’. I didn’t reach out specifically to him about this, but he’s one of those guys that’s always on sm. I wanted to end the friendship then, but decided to give grace and actually reach out and talk about what had been going on and how I had been feeling. We talked and I THOUGHT it went well, things started to get better then more radio silence. My Son’s (his godson..) birthday passes and he doesn’t call or try to see him (i think he sent a text a day later MAYBE). The final straw came when I tried to share a career milestone with him (you know like FRIENDS do!) conversation was flowing right up until I send that, then radio silence again.

At this point I’m brooding and going back over the course of the friendship, I realize this isn’t new behavior, It was a pattern I ignored for years. I’ve shared good news with him just to be met with either no response, or apathy. I give it a week before I ended the friendship with a pretty rough text. I’ll attach a semi redacted version to the post (if reddit lets me). :

“Sooo I’ve been sitting on this for a while and have given more than ample grace, but I’ve reached my breaking point. You have disrespected me and my relationship/ marriage for years, been a bad friend and even worse Godfather. I didn’t even realize that trying to share a milestone would be a litmus test, but hey😅. There are people I’ve known not even half as long as you that have been happy for me, whereas you have met me with apathy at best and cold tones of jealousy at worst. I definitely expected someone who calls me a “brother” to at least react, but clearly that’s a title that doesn’t mean as much to you as it does to me.
As for my marriage, I’ve let you spew envious venom about you mistakenly believing that you deserved to find love before and more than me for years. You haven’t found it yet because you lack the maturity and work ethic it takes to handle the woman you THINK you’re ready for. You also mistakenly compare my wife to these random women who you’ve had these shallow connections with, which further goes to show the maturity you lack.

Here’s a bit of advice for you, the lack of maturity is the reason none of your relationships have ever worked. I could’ve told you that if you would’ve ever asked me instead of always trying to run to my wife for man advice, which is also WILDY inappropriate. With this friendship ending, that’s also something you will no longer have access to. I now feel like I should’ve listened to EVERYONE that called you jealous and grimy in HS after you tried to pull that weird shit with T and left you where you were then. Instead I defended you and stood by you for 10 years while you quietly hoped I fail. I hope you know that I ALWAYS wanted to see you win, I always wanted you to find the Love you deserve and I always beamed with pride over every achievement you made, but you tried to ‘crab in a barrel’ me in return. I’m sure I fell short in more than one area of our friendship and for that, I am truly sorry for failing you and not being the friend you needed. I wish you would have told me what you needed the way I tried to tell you so that things didn’t have to get here. I pray your life is full and beautiful and that you succeed in everything that you do. I hope you crush it at your concert at Carnegie (if you’re still doing it) and that life delivers bigger and better opportunities to you in the future. “

Other contributing factors to add context:

1. ⁠he would go to me wife for relationship advice often; trying to give advice that would be better coming from a friend of over a decade 😅 this got to the point t where in the last months he talked to my wife more than me.
2. ⁠He was constantly comparing his life to mine. Every flavor of the month he talks to he thought he was going to marry and was just so much like my wife, and they never were.
3. ⁠the incident in HS the texts are referring to is him wanting to date my first love in HS DAYS after the breakup (literally gave the shiz no time to airdry). I told our friend group and they all pretty much have dropped him to this day.

So, WITAH?

(ps I’m SO sorry for how I posted this. I only posted once but it split up my post really wierd. Hope this edit fixed it)

For some context, me and my cousin are very close, like best friends. I’m an 18 year old female and he’s a 19 year old male. I introduced him to one of my friends who we can call Stacy last summer so he had someone to go to lolla with, as I was unable to go. My friend Stacy and him got relatively close which I had no problem with until about a week ago. My cousin and I have wanted to travel together for a while now, so I suggested going to Boston for a weekend. After suggesting this my cousin booked a 1 day trip for himself to go to Boston, he told me about this and obviously I was a little annoyed. He was understanding about my feelings and I just said that we could go another time or try to go somewhere else in the summer. I told my friend Stacy that my cousin did this because I was just frustrated about it and the next day she texted him and said that I was “venting” to her about his Boston trip. My cousin reached out and told me that she said this, he thought it was super weird and after he defended me to her all she said was “bruh.” I confronted Stacy about this and basically told her it was disrespectful to just go out and tell my cousin something I told her in confidence. All Stacy kept saying was that she didn’t think it was that serious and she didn’t understand why she was in the wrong. She kept sending laughing emojis in her apology and it felt like my feelings were completely invalidated by her. A few days go by when another friend, Emma and I were going to host a staged fight night and we were trying to convince our entire school it was true. Stacy heard about this and told 2 of my close friends that I have been very angry recently and brought up the cousin situation to them, she said that I got really mad at her over nothing. Later that day i FaceTimed Stacy and told her she was being very inconsiderate about how I felt in the situation, she continued to tell me that she thought the entire conversation she had with my cousin was a joke. She said she was sorry I felt this way and sorry that it seemed that way. Am I overreacting to this? It feels like I haven’t gotten a genuine apology and I can’t wrap my head around why she doesn’t see an issue in telling my cousin things I talked to her about.

Today is mother’s day, I am 25 years old. My mother and me have had a very up and down relationship. My mother has been through a lot, the trauma is there and my childhood was very hard and traumatic for the both of us. Lately i’ve been trying to help her with her issues and try to be there as a daughter. I plan all of our holidays, plan everything, host and open my home to my family I put everything together and make sure it all revolves around my mother due to her narcism and sensitive skin. I know I don’t need to walk on eggs shells and i’ve set boundaries but I still want a family thanksgiving,christmas, and mother’s day. The last 3 times she has been on my ass about making sure the holidays revolve around her. I have been in a relationship for 3 years which has now become very serious to where I also need to be with his family for the holidays. I always make sure to see my family and his, I plan accordingly around my mother but it always turns on me that I’m being selfish because I don’t care about her schedule. I go to my boyfriend’s family first then go to my family events or the other way around but this is never enough for my mother. I’ve gone to the lengths of leaving events early to make sure she felt priority but It is still thrown in my face I don’t care, I make whole days separate for her. BUT The last 2 holidays we plan all of this around her and 48 hours before she will cancel. Today was my final straw, I made reservations and planned an entire day with my mother then to go to my boyfriend’s family after, Well my boyfriend asked if we could go to his mothers first then go to see my mom. Our reservation was at 2pm, it’s 10:30 am I called my mother to tell her the plan and she goes ballistic. “Cancel the reservation and just do you!” What?!!! I called her and she told me I only care about myself and my boyfriend. That she doesn’t want to go anymore and that I can just leave her alone…I made everything around her, everything i’ve done is always around her. I cried so hard, I feel like a failure , I am so hurt and I feel in the wrong still even after all the effort. I’m trying to start
my life and start a family and I feel she is so jealous and hurt when I made the whole day around her like she wanted and she just threw it away. What do you do with hard family members? those who are always the victims ? even when it’s your own mother