u/trippytimechild

AITA for not booking my mom a flight and setting a boundary I work for an airline and travel for free, and so do my companions and parents. At work I’m constantly booking/rerouting passengers, handling cancellations and rescheduling. I never travel except on my birthday. I just work and go home. My ONE boundary is: “If you need a flight, give me two weeks heads up so I’m not rushing and dropping everything because you’re stranded somewhere.”

But I’m always expected to say yes. If I tell my mom no, she rallies my older siblings against me because “she’s your mom, she’s the only one we get.”
Last time I said no because she didn’t give me 2 weeks notice AND the East Coast was dealing with tornadoes, cancellations, a fire and flooding. I told her she’d get stuck. She bought a ticket anyway and, lo and behold, got stuck. Then called saying I NEEDED to book her a flight home. I said no. What was I supposed to do, fly the plane?
Here’s the problem My birthday is in September, I’ve been planning my international trip for 1 year and 7 months. Everything is booked and scheduled, including 3 rest days. I just WANT TO RELAX. I don’t party, club, , nothing. Work and home. I deserve a break too, right?
I told my family I won’t book flights during my 3-week birthday vacation.

As soon as I said that, my mom suddenly had 12 places she needed to be. Most importantly? MY SISTER IS GIVING BIRTH. I HAD NO IDEA SHE WAS DUE THEN. The due date I was originally told was completely different. I literally spoke to my sister yesterday and she didn’t mention it. Nobody told me.
My sister called me selfish for not booking the flight and now I feel horrible. I CAN still do it, but I know what will happen. If my mom gets stuck, she’ll call me to fix it and suddenly I’m right back at work instead of enjoying the trip I spent almost 2 years planning, hovered over my phone stressing about flights from halfway across the world.

They only call me when they need flights, never to check on me. I’ve told them I could be lying in my room gone and nobody would know because they don’t call or text unless they need a flight. It makes me feel awful.

I’m the youngest. Why am I responsible for everyone’s travel because of where I work? Why am I selfish for wanting ONE trip?
I feel terrible for my sister. I genuinely didn’t know, and I’m not being spiteful. But this is EXACTLY why I asked for two weeks notice. And honestly, giving birth seems like something you’d want a confirmed ticket for rather than standby anyway?

I’m worried that because I’ve never had boundaries with my family, if I fold now I’m teaching them that my words mean nothing and my boundaries can be beaten down if they push hard enough.

Ok so I work for an airline, which means I travel for free and so do my parents/companions. At work I’m constantly booking, rerouting, handling cancellations and rescheduling passengers. I almost never travel myself except for my birthday.

My ONE boundary with my family is: “If you need a flight, please give me 2 weeks heads up.” I hate having to suddenly drop everything because someone decided last minute they want to fly.
The problem is I’m always expected to say yes. If I tell my mom no, she gets my older siblings involved and suddenly I’m selfish because “she’s your mom” etc.

Last time I told my mom no because she didn’t give me notice AND the area she was traveling to was dealing with tornadoes, floods, fires and multiple cancellations. I told her she would probably get stuck. She bought a ticket anyway, went, got stuck, then called me saying I NEEDED to figure out how to get her home.

Now here’s why I feel horrible.

My birthday is in September and I’ve been planning an international trip for a year and 7 months. Everything is booked and scheduled, including rest days. I work and go home. I don’t party, club or really go anywhere. This is my ONE big trip a year and I just want to relax.
So I told my family I’m not booking flights during the 3 weeks surrounding my vacation. I don’t want to spend my birthday trip checking flights, rerouting people or worrying about someone being stranded.
As soon as I said that, my mom suddenly mentioned several places she wants to fly in September. The biggest one?

MY SISTER IS GIVING BIRTH.

I HAD NO IDEA she was due while I’d be gone. Nobody told me. I knew she was pregnant, obviously, but I didn’t know when she was due or that my mom planned to be there. Had anyone told me ahead of time, we could’ve planned something.
My sister called me selfish for refusing to book Mom’s flight and now I feel awful because birth only happens once. I love my sister and I’m not doing this to be spiteful.
Technically I can book it. But I know what happens if standby goes wrong. I’ll be halfway across the world getting calls like, “The flight is full, reroute me,” “I missed it,” or “I’m stuck overnight.” Then instead of enjoying the trip I’ve dreamed about, I’m back in work mode worrying about my mom.

They also rarely call me just to check on me. Usually someone needs a flight or help with something, which hurts.
I’m the youngest. Why am I responsible for everyone’s travel just because of where I work?

Part of me thinks this is important enough to make an exception. Another part thinks Mom should buy a confirmed ticket for something this important instead of flying standby.

I’m also scared that if I give in after everyone pressures me, I’m teaching my family that my boundaries don’t actually mean anything—that if they push hard enough, eventually I’ll say yes.

I feel terrible because I genuinely didn’t know about the birth. I don’t hate my sister. I don’t want my mom to miss it. I just wanted one vacation where I wasn’t responsible for everyone else.

What should I do? Am I actually being selfish?

Ok so I work for an airline and travel for free and so do my companions and parents . At my job I’m constantly booking and rerouting passengers and handling canceled flights and rescheduling. I never travel except on my birthday. All I do is go to work and go home .my 1 and only boundary is “ if you need a flight please give me a two week heads up so I’m not rushing and dropping everything because you’re stranded somewhere.” I’m always the one who has to say yes . I have no boundaries .

It’s either I do it or I’m selfish. I never EVER can say no or else I get it from all sides . When I tell my mom no she rallies my siblings against me ( I’m the youngest ) to bully me into saying yes because “ she’s my mom , she’s the only one we get, this that this that .

The last time I said no to my mom because she didn’t let me know 2 weeks in advance ( also because the east coast was going through it with a tornado , 7 cancelations , a fire and a flood ) I just knew her flight to a major hub would get cancelled . Lo and behold she went anyway and bought a ticket aaaand got stuck. Then she called me saying she’s stuck and I NEED to book her a flight home . I said no I told you not to go . I told you you’d get stuck . I’m not saving you . She sat in the airport because what did she want me to do ? Fly the plane?

Anyway here’s the problem and here’s why I feel so bad

My birthday is in September

I have been planing an international trip for a year and 7 months I have booked everything I have a whole itinerary booked and scheduled even three rest days . I just WANT TO RELAX from work all I do is work . I don’t go to parties , I don’t club, I don’t do drugs, I don’t run the streets . Nothing . Just work and home . and I deserve a break just like anyone else right ? not worry about booking any flights anywhere . I told my family no flights while I’m gone I’m going on vacation to celebrate my birthday for 3 weeks in September ( my moms birthday is at the end of that month )

As soon as I told my mother that I won’t be booking any more flights during my trip she exploded into 12 different places she needed to be ( no heads up no communication about it until I said it’s off limits ) the most important place she needs to be is MY FLIPPIN SISTERS BIRTH of my nephew I HAD NO IDEA SHE WAS DUE no one told me anything . I knew she was pregnant duh but I didn’t know I’d be away during the birth. I feel so bad because my sister called me selfish for not booking the flight . And I do feel selfish I can still do it I guess but I know what’s going to happen . If my mom gets stuck she will call me to fix it then I’m right back at work 😭 instead of taking pictures and enjoying this trip I’ve always wanted to go on I’m hovered over my phone stressing about my mom and sister half way across the world .

They only call me when they need a flight never to check on me . I’ve told them I could be laying in my room ☠️ and no one would know because they don’t call or text to check on me unless they want a flight . It makes me feel awful

I m the youngest . Why am i responsible for everyone’s travel just because of where I work . Why am I selfish because I wanted one trip
I feel horrible . But can’t my mom just buy a ticket ? This seems like something you’d need to confirm on rather than stand by right? I feel so bad for my sister because I really didn’t know . I’m not being spiteful I promise . This is exactly why I asked for a heads up . So things like this don’t happen. I’m worried that because I have no boundaries with my family if I fold I’ll teach them that my words mean nothing and my boundaries can be beaten down if they hit hard enough. I’m very emotional birth is only once . I don’t hate my sister . I don’t hate anyone . What should I do . Am I the a hole? Please help me