r/AITH

So me (27M) and my girlfriend (25F) have been together for about 8 months. Things have honestly been pretty good overall, but something happened this weekend that completely threw me off. We went out to dinner with two of her friends. Before we even got there, she jokingly said something like, “Don’t embarrass me by acting cheap tonight,” and laughed. I thought she was kidding, so I ignored it. Dinner comes, and everybody starts ordering expensive stuff. I’m talking appetizers, cocktails, desserts, the whole thing. I kept it reasonable because I’m trying to save money right now. At the end, the bill comes out to around $340. The waiter asks how we want to split it, and my girlfriend immediately says, “He’s got it,” without even looking at me first. I laughed because I thought SHE was joking this time. She wasn’t. I quietly told her beforehand I only planned on paying for our own meals, not her friends too. She got annoyed and said a “real man” would just handle it without making it awkward. At that point I got irritated and told the waiter to split the bill separately. Her friends went quiet, my girlfriend looked embarrassed, and the whole mood died instantly. Later that night she told me I failed a “relationship test” and said she wanted to see if I was generous and capable of “providing under pressure.” I told her I’m not interested in being tested like a lab rat and that if covering three extra people was important, she should’ve communicated that beforehand instead of trying to corner me publicly. Now she’s barely talking to me, and apparently her friends think I’m broke and childish over the whole thing. AITA?

I attended the viewing for a former coworker’s 22 year old son that passed way this weekend due to a tragic vehicle accident. Our family know and have attended each other’s family functions; they are close family friends. He is married and has 2 grown adult children (now only 1). My husband and I went to the family to give them our condolences. When my former coworker saw me, he sobbed uncontrollably. I gave him a fierce hug. Why? Because I wanted to make his pain go away. I have the utmost respect for this family. When I approached his wife, she didn’t stand up and she looked dazed as if she was given something to ease her pain. I mentioned all of this to my sister, and my husband chimed in that she most likely didn’t stand up because she was upset I hugged her husband. I also went up to their daughter and extended family members to give my condolences. Was I the AH for hugging my former coworker?

This happened a few days ago and some people in my class are split on it so I figured I'd ask here.

There's a guy in my class who has this habit of making comments at other people's expense. Not outright aggressive but the kind of thing where everyone laughs and the person on the receiving end just has to sit there and take it. Most people brush it off or laugh along because it's easier. This time he was going at one of the quieter people in class, making fun of something they said during a discussion. The comments kept coming and the person he was targeting was clearly uncomfortable, just kind of shrinking in their seat and not responding.

I told him to leave it. He looked surprised and made some comment about me being too sensitive. I said it wasn't about being sensitive, it was about him repeatedly making someone else the punchline and that it was getting old. It went quiet for a moment. He didn't say much after that but later some people told me I made it awkward and that he was just joking around. I don't think what I did was wrong but the reaction from others made me second guess myself.

AITAH

I recently ordered an art commission from a person after putting a post up looking for artists. They spammed the comments telling me to commission them. I thought it was weird at first, but I ignored it as the art looked alright. While talking, they told me they were upset at me because I didn't choose them for the previous art commission that I wanted done, which I thought was weird, but I ignored it once again once I gave them my oc, and that was it. 20 minutes later, they showed me there progess, and they had done 3 perfect line art, and the so-called sketch the sketch looked like it had been traced poorly. There were features on the "drawing" that weren't on my oc or added to my oc. It was very obvious that they had put my drawing/oc into AI. I asked a few strangers as well as my friends, and they all said the same thing: that it looked heavily ai and traced. A couple of people asked me to ask them to send speed paint. When I asked them, they told me that due to the poor economy, they could not send the speedpaint. Basically confirming that it was IN FACT ai I told her to cancel the order after going back and forth with her. She was fighting for her life to say that it is not AI, even though there were tons of proof she then said, "I'm sorry I gave you trust issues." And with that, I was too annoyed to even respond. A few hours later, they began spamming me once again. I asked them what they wanted, and they responded that they wanted to try again and redo everything. I told them that I was looking for another artist and that they didn't care, as I was still pissed, which was most likely bad on my part. A few hours later, she texted me again, I went to look, and it was a speedpaint confirming that she could send a speedpaint, and the other one was AI. The next day, she texts me asking for payment and asking if we could raise the payment higher. I declined and told her I no longer had the money, and I had cancelled the order she kept pushing, and I am debating whether or not to pay her just to shut her up. Do I pay her? And AITAH if I don't pay her?

I, (19F) am dog sitting for my friend who's out of town. I don't have a license, and had to ask my mom to take me over for about 15 minutes to walk the dog one day. When we got to the front door, I told her I didn't think she should go inside because I hadn't asked my friend for permission. She stormed off, obviously very offended. When I came back out with the dog, she yelled at me in the street saying how I was making her feel like an untrustworthy person, and that I'd dropped this on her out of nowhere.

I told her I wasn't trying to offend her, but I wanted to respect my friends house and not bring people inside without her consent. She claimed that because she drove me, she should be allowed to go inside. Personally, i wouldn't feel comfortable with someone bringing their parent into my house without my permission if it was me, i thought it was reasonable.

She continued to yell, so I walked away with the dog and told her I wasn't going to continue the conversation if she was going to be rude to me. She continued to give me the silent treatment for the rest of the day, and I decided to ask my dad to drive me for the remaining days. So, AITAH?

Okay so let me preface by saying I allow my wife access to my phone whenever it’s needed I don’t have anything to hide but she always snatches it outta my hand while I’m busy or trying to leave for work. I 21M have two jobs service member by day and bouncer by night. My wife is an entertainer (dancer). At first I thought all would be fine until my wife started taking a lack of interest towards me and relying on validation from other people (says im biased) but when I do my bouncer gig it’s solely a job. Now being in the military I work around a lot of women therefore by proxy am friends with a lot of women but never has gone any further than a few drinks with the whole group or at the house with my wife so never isolated. But I am questioned on my loyalty constantly. The reason I’m making this post is cause as I was getting ready for work she snatched my phone and starting looking. I told her I needed it for time and music to which for her translates to I’m hiding something. She has now said she wants a divorce and I’m a lying cheating asshole. So I guess I’m asking is it her own insecurities something else or am I the asshole??

My girl is hurt that I did not tell her something sweet or get her flowers for Mother’s Day. My question is why in the fkn world would I do that. She gave me NO child and she’s not my mother . Am I wrong for just texting happy Mother’s Day? - Here is my response to her - My love I have to tell you this respectfully and I don’t know how you will take it. I did not ever celebrate my ex for Mother’s Day, only after the adoption process of my son! AITAH?

I work in an office with 2 other people and we all share the same bathrooms. Typically when I have to drop the kids off at the pool I use the downstairs bathroom as a courtesy. However, that one was in use. So I took my perfume with me and sprayed after I used it. No one wants to smell someone else’s wide open a\*\*.

Anyway my boss stops me and asked what I sprayed because he went in right after me and I told him perfume since there is no bathroom spray. He expressed it being strong and turned his face up in disgust.

Well today, yet again I had to #2 upstairs. I chose not to spray to avoid bothering my boss. Guess who walks in right after and starts to slightly cough? White Castles gets me every time.

So AITAH for allowing him to bask in the remnants of my #2 instead of spraying Sparkling Sugar?

SO IM THE GIRLFRIEND HES TALKING ABOUT!!! yes, a couple days ago I found out I had warrants i honestly didn't know about from the past I thought I had already taken care of. My response to him was, “I’m not sure what they are yet, but I’ll handle it.”

His response was, “Good, because I can’t have you getting arrested at the airport.”

So I asked him, “If I did get arrested at the airport, would you still board the flight?” He said yes.
I asked if he would take a later flight just to make sure I was okay, and his answer was no. His reasoning was that he doesn’t feel it’s his responsibility to take on someone else’s debt or situation.
What hurt me wasn’t even really about the money or the flight. It was what his response showed me emotionally. To me, your partner is supposed to be someone who makes you feel safe, loved, supported, and cared for during hard moments. Instead, I felt like I was completely alone.
It made me question where I truly stand with him because in that moment it felt like nowhere.
And to make things even crazier, the warrants everybody is so worried about turned out to be two old parking violations from 2024 and some random $25 ticket from Northville from 2023. That’s why I didn’t even remember them. I wasn’t hiding anything or running from anything serious — I genuinely thought everything had already been handled.

I (31M) live in an apartment building with assigned unit numbers and a small shared entry area. Earlier this week, a package was delivered to my door that had my neighbor’s name on it (same floor, one unit over). It was just left outside my unit, not theirs.

I didn’t immediately take it over because it was late at night, and I figured I’d give it back the next day when I saw them or when I was heading out.

Before I got a chance, my neighbor knocked on my door the next evening asking if I had seen it. I said yes, I have it, and I was planning to bring it over. I didn’t think it was a big deal.

He then asked me to just hand it over immediately. I said I’d prefer to give it to him tomorrow when I’m heading out, since I was in the middle of something at home.

He got annoyed and said I was withholding his property and making it inconvenient on purpose. I told him it was literally 20 feet away and I’m not refusing to return it, just not doing it on his schedule.

He left angry and later sent a message in our building group chat saying people shouldn’t hold onto other people’s deliveries and implying I was being difficult.

Now a couple neighbors think I should’ve just handed it over right away, while others say he’s overreacting over something minor.

AITH for not immediately returning my neighbor’s package when he asked?

I’m 29F, he’s 30M, and we’ve been together almost 4 years, long distance.

I’m posting because I feel emotionally exhausted and I don’t fully trust my own judgment right now.

For a while, we’ve been stuck in a really unhealthy cycle when we argue. Communication breaks down fast.

During fights, it often turns into blame, hurtful comments, jabs, or him saying things like if I’m unhappy I should just leave or block him. What i hate the most is his meanness when he get mad. A recent example is that we’re supposed to go on a trip next week, and I booked certain things separately because I have a condition that can sometimes make me cancel last minute. He already knew that. But during an argument, he said I did it because I wanted to “trap him” or leave him stuck if something happened. That hurt because instead of understanding why I made that decision, he assumed bad intentions and made it sound manipulative when it wasn’t.

After our most recent argument, I hit a breaking point. I told him I was drained and disappointed, and that I didn’t think I could keep doing this.

That’s when his tone completely changed. He became emotional, vulnerable, told me he cares, doesn’t want to lose me, and that he doesn’t want this to end. At the same time, he also said I was overreacting.

He also showed me something incredibly thoughtful he had planned for our upcoming trip omething that reminded me he’s not always cold or cruel, and that there are moments where he shows care and effort.

That’s what is messing with my head. I’m not staying because of a gift or gesture. It just reminded me that he isn’t 100% mean, which makes it harder to separate the good parts from the unhealthy ones.

But deep down, I’m scared that one thoughtful moment doesn’t erase the repeated disrespect during conflict.

I’m heartbroken because I had so much hope for us, and I think I’m grieving the potential of what I wanted this relationship to be.

So… am I the buttface for still wanting to leave even though he showed vulnerability and kindness when I was already trying to walk away?

TL;DR: Long-distance relationship of almost 4 years. Repeated hurtful fights, blame, and disrespect. When I tried to leave, my boyfriend became emotional and caring, which reminded me he isn’t always mean. I’m still leaning toward leaving and feel guilty/confused. Am I the buttface?

me (15 f) my friend H (15 f) and our friend C (13 f). so for the past 3 ish years the three of us have gone camping over the summer (not every day straight but most weekends because we all have permanent spots at a campsite) last summer was when our friend C started being extremely rude to my friend H, i have known C since elementary school and she was rude a few times to me as well but i shut her down and didn’t let her continue to bully me.
however H is a soft hearted girl and hates confrontation and is not constantly good at standing up for herself. C in the past has said some pretty harsh things along the lines of “you’re nothing without makeup” and “is that fake tan you look so orange”. as well as often does things to get other peoples attention (i would call her a pick me). this past long weekend the three of us and some of our other friends were all out at the trailer this weekend.
C again started to try and embarrass H and be rude to her for seemingly no reason, and sometimes would just leave and go back to her trailer. quite a few times had H went to invite her to come back and hang out with us when we were walking around and each time i shut her down because i think its ridiculous to invite someone who makes you feel bad about yourself to come back and hang out with you. H said that she felt bad for excluding her and i told her that she wasn’t we just wasn’t giving her the opportunity to be rude to you again, this went on all weekend.
sunday night the three of us and the rest of our friends were hanging out by a river all just chilling listening to music when C got up and walked through the woods and never came back (there is a built path made out of wood planks to get to and from the spot we were at). later on me and one of our friends left for an unrelated reason and saw C by some picnic tables and went and asked her why she had left. she told us that she was upset that another one of our friends took her chips (that i paid for btw) and she was upset and left… a few minutes later H and another friend came out and sat down with us the two other friends left to get food and so H asked C why she left and i told her what C had told me, and then i added on afterwards “and that was a p\\\*ssy thing to do anyway, and i know you didn’t walk away because he took your chips which weren’t even yours you walked away just to walk away” a few minutes later she left.
looking back on it i’m unsure if that was the right thing to say to her especially since she js younger than us. but i also think it has been too long without anyone calling her out. i’m honestly just looking for some peace of mind that i wasn’t too harsh/ i did somewhat the right thing.
PS: sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes i have dyslexia and can’t find some mistakes of mine.

UPDATE
i have read and replied to the comments and to clarify
- she wasn’t always rude to us which is why we were friends in the first place
- we stayed being friends for this long because H and C’s parents are friends
- i did stick up for H but 95% of the times C was mean to her i wasn’t there

after reading, thinking and talking to H i did end up texting C this is what i ended up saying after asking H and another one of my friends
“hey i’ve been doing a lot of thinking on this for a very long time but i need to talk about it bc it’s just not okay anymore, for the past two years i have noticed how you have been treating me H and the other kids at the campsite and i just don’t think it’s okay. you are often rude especially to H and it disgusts me you are so disrespectful to her and me for no reason and i refuse to surround myself with people who do that. i am done being your friend and letting you surround me. you can continue to be friends with the other kids at the campsite but i am not your friend bc i am done with you being disrespectful it is not okay at all.”

she hasn’t responded yet but i will update when she does
before anyone says i was overly harsh on her i need you to understand that i haven’t mentioned everything she has ever done, i have seen it in front of me with my own eyes how she is a bully to H so has my mom her mom and the other kids we’re friends with. i needed her to fully understand how i felt without wiggle room to justify what she was doing. i will never be overly rude to her in person if she is there with us but i will not be interacting with her any longer and do not want to associate myself with her anymore
hopefully i can update soon!

I know the title makes me sound like an AH right off the bat, but please hear me out. This is more of a rant post because I obviously would never tell my cousins they can’t eat food. As my mom always says, you never deny anyone food. My issue is more with the principle of their parents allowing them to grab things without asking.

I (24F) live with my parents and 2 siblings, and I’m the main person who buys groceries for the week. I especially like having fruit around because we snack on them throughout the day. For the past couple of weeks, my paternal aunt has been bringing her family over unannounced so we can “play” with her kids, who are 11, 5, and 2.

At first, when they came over, they would ask if they could have some fruit because the kids were hungry. We would happily give them fruit and other snacks. Recently, it has started to feel expected. Instead of asking they now just grab fruit and other snacks on their own. One time before they even came inside our home, I overheard the 11 year old telling the 5 year old that they wanted to see if we had mangoes so they could take some home.

Every single time they come over, they ask to take fruit home with them. I know they are not struggling for food because their parents always talk about how much food and fruit they already have at home, to the point where some of it goes bad and gets thrown out.
What really bothered me was the 11 year old taking a mango without asking first. Whenever this happens their mom either says nothing or laughs it off by saying the kids just love eating fruit at our house. She even jokes that they should be called the “ransackers” because they eat up all of our fruit and snacks whenever they visit and they sometimes come over twice a week.
I’ve also started to feel some resentment toward my aunt’s family because it feels like they now expect our house to be a pantry where they can just choose whatever they want to eat or take home. I don’t mind sharing food with family and would never deny them food, but it’s becoming frustrating that this behavior has turned into a normal expectation.

The problem is that when they come over, they end up eating most of the fruit we bought for the entire week. It’s started to get frustrating because I’m the one spending money on groceries that my own household barely even gets to eat since they finish so much of it when they visit. What makes it even more frustrating is that sometimes they don’t even finish what they take. They’ll leave food half-eaten and immediately move on to the next snack.

Am I valid in feeling frustrated that they eat our food? I’ve talked to my parents about it, but they say that sharing food among family is normal and I’m not arguing that it isn’t. However, I feel like I am now providing for an additional household because now I have to buy more groceries so that we have enough food.

I (24F) moved into a small 1 bedroom apartment earlier this month. When I toured it, the landlord told me the rent was $1,600/month and that utilities were included except internet. We shook hands, I signed the lease a few days later, and I moved in.

Fast forward to move in day, he drops a message saying there was a misunderstanding and that utilities actually are NOT included. He says I now need to pay an extra $180–$220/month depending on usage (electric, water, trash).

I told him that wasn’t what we agreed on and I’m going by the lease terms and what was discussed before I signed. He got annoyed and said I was trying to take advantage of him and that everyone pays it anyway.

Now things are tense. He’s been passive aggressive in messages and hinted that if I keep being difficult, he’ll make sure everything is properly enforced (whatever that means).

I refused to pay anything beyond what’s in the lease for now, and I’m sticking to it until I get clarification or a written amendment.

My friends are split some say I’m right to hold the line, others say I should just pay it to avoid conflict.

So… AITH for refusing to pay the extra utility charges after move in?

I’m 25M from the UK. This happened back at uni but it’s come up again cos one of our mates is getting married.

I was with my ex “Megan” for nearly 2 years. My best mate then was “Callum”. We lived together in second year and I honestly saw him like a brother.

In final year Megan started acting wierd. Going out loads, being secretive with her phone, coming home late etc. One night I saw her outside a bar with this guy from her course. They were stood proper close and he had his arm round her waist. When she saw me she looked shocked.

She told me I was being paranoid and he was just a friend. Callum backed her up and said he’d seen them and nothing happened. I believed him because why would my best mate lie?

Turns out she’d been sleeping with him for weeks. And Callum knew. He said later he “didnt want to get involved” and thought it was better to stay quiet untill exams were done.

But he didn’t just stay quiet, he lied to my face and made me feel like I was going crazy.

I cut him off after that. No big argument, just stopped speaking to him.

Now our uni mate is getting married and Callum is going stag do. I said I’ll go wedding and be civil, but I’m not going away for a full weekend pretending were mates.

The lads are saying it was years ago and I’m letting an old relationship ruin the group.

I don’t think I am. Megan cheated, but Callum betrayed me too.

AITAH for still not wanting anything to do with him?

I’m 18F and never met my uncle. Because when my dad’s brother was 16 he ran away he left a note saying he’s moving away and cutting contact with the family.

My dad and his brother used to be really close it was just my grandparents who they had issues with.

My dad has always been emotional about his brother leaving without saying goodbye to him or where he’s going. A few years later he was trying to figure out where to find his brother. One of his brothers old friends said he’d changed his name and moved to Scotland. (We live in England).

When the Internet became a thing my dad checked if there’s any social media accounts or public Scottish records of his old name and new name online frequently throughout my childhood. He ended up one day finding a death announcement for someone with his brothers name so assumed it was him who had passed away.

He would get emotional about his brother a lot. Recently he got a message from someone with his brothers name on Facebook saying “hey. I just wanted to reach out. It’s been a long time. I don’t really know what to say but I miss you and I hope we can talk.” . My dad didn’t believe it was him and accused my brother and I of pranking him and he started crying saying it’s not a funny joke.

We said it was genuinely not us. He said it must be a scammer then because his brother is dead. I told him maybe it was just someone else with the same name who died. He still didn’t believe it. I then got contacted by my uncle on Facebook introducing himself asking if I’m my father’s daughter. I replied yes I am. He asked if I can get him in touch with my father. I told my father and he was still saying it’s either a scam or a sick joke.

That night he started crying throughout the night and I could hear him talking to my mum saying it’s just because he misses his brother. He doesn’t cry that often apart from when his brothers brung up so I know he really wants to meet him. I explained the situation to my uncle. He said because it was my dad’s 50th birthday coming up at the time he thought he’d get in contact. He asked if he can send a birthday card. I said “No. Come see him in person. It’s the least you can do is give it to him in person. He hasn’t seen you in like 35 years. I think he’ll want an explanation.”

He agreed and on my dad’s 50th birthday I decided to surprise him. My uncle travelled down from Scotland and stayed in a hotel nearby. I took my dad for a birthday meal at the restaurant next to the hotel. We got a table with 5 seats. One My dad,mum and brother. The extra seat my uncle and I thought it would be funny if he came and sat down.

So as planned I told my uncle we were seated he came and found our table and sat down. At first everyone stared at him and my dad didn’t realise it was him and went “are you alright” “are you alright (dad’s name)?” My dad just stared at him confused. And then my uncle said “happy birthday. It’s me (uncles name)” my dad went quiet and my uncle gave him a birthday card.

My dad gave the card back without opening it and walked out. My mother,brother and I went to talk to him and he started shouting at us saying how dare we do that to him. I said I’m sorry it was just me and my uncles idea he wanted to wish him a happy birthday and have a relationship with him again.

He said that I completely ruined his birthday and his brothers 3 and a half decades too late. And if I want to have a meal with the guy who abandoned his brother go ahead but he’s going home. I said we can all go home I’ll let his brother know though.

I went back inside and let him know we are going home but I’ll take the card for him and I’m grateful he came all this way to give it in person.

I gave my dad the card. He opened it privately in his room that night. He put it on his bedside table so I don’t really know what to think.

I’m wondering if i’m genuinely just overdoing it but at the same time, please give me advice to work through this. I (20F) have a girlfriend (22F) and we are clearly raised two completely different ways and it’s taken alot for me to understand her way of thinking. A problem that ive been having with her recently is that it seems like everything is 200x more difficult for her. Which i don’t understand because she doesn’t have any disabilities or anything, is in college. Literally older the me with more experience, and yet when it comes to what i think is simple, for some reason it’s just so hard for her.

And what makes this difficult for me is i’m the type of person where if it’s common sense to me, i just don’t see how it’s rocket science to others. Obviously i know that isn’t a nice way to think, but i am not sure how to stop it. Sometimes i feel like people play like they don’t understand or it’s like weaponized incompetence and i feel like that keeps me stern on how i feel. I’m not sure how to unlearn it.

A couple examples, what happened just now, we are actively on the hunt for an apartment, we are submitting our applications and she said we could do it during her lunch break. But the second we start it seems like she’s elderly trying to use technology again .”It’s telling me to make an account” like uhhh? okay? make the account?. But she genuinely will sit and stress over it until i tell her “okay, well maybe that means you have to make an account honey” then she will do it, like hello???!. Or when she was filling it out and i told her to only do the required questions since that would help us finish faster, she says okay and then is clearly stumped on a question, she asks me about how to fill it out and i ask her if it’s marked red (is it a required question) and she says no….like girl skip it then!??

There’s a million different things far more specific but if be here all day. I don’t know what to do or why this irritates me so much. I know peoples brains works differently but i feel like i give her the answers and she goes off path, gets stomped, and then i have to re direct her to the exact same answer i just said. Or the answer is just in her face or (in my thoughts) common sense and it just doesn’t click to her. Super confused but i also feel bad bc i feel so mean.

Advice? Tips? Comments?

Me and my friends decided to have a hangout at my place during the morning with breakfast, one of my friends being vegan because she cares about animals and a lot and wants to be a veterinarian.

We were joking around about challenging her to eat bacon, with nothing too bad, but it got to a point where I felt like she was being too uptight, and I started being serious when I told her to eat a little

She considered me insensitive and disrespectful towards vegans.

Am I really that bad for making my friend eat not loads of bacon, but a piece?

I think what makes this hard is that none of our issues sound huge individually, but together they’ve completely changed the way I see love and relationships.

I constantly feel emotionally responsible for both of us while my own feelings get minimized.

For example, when he only had a part-time job, I was basically doing all the cleaning. I finally told him I felt like I shouldn’t have to ask him to help clean the place we both live in, and somehow the conversation became about how I wasn’t considering his feelings. After that I kind of stopped bringing things up as much because I felt like my concerns would always turn into me comforting him instead.

Even now I’m still usually the one cleaning unless I specifically ask. The bathroom is a constant argument because there’s always water all over the floor/counter and he swears it isn’t him.

There’s also issues with my friends. I have two gay friends, one male and one female. He wanted me to block my male friend even though he’s never been inappropriate with me. He also acts weird about me hanging out alone with my female friend because “she could still like me,” even though we’ve already established boundaries and are literally just friends.

Christmas also hurt me more than I expected. He got a lump sum of money and bought himself a Switch 2 even though the limited edition Switch I bought him before still works perfectly. He said the new one was “for both of us,” but realistically it’s his. What hurt most is there wasn’t really anything thoughtful chosen specifically for me.

Everyone around me tells me I should leave — friends, family, basically everyone. And logically I know I’d probably save money, stress less, and maybe even be happier eventually. I even have places I could go if I did leave.

But we’ve been together for years. We’re both on the lease until July. I’ve been driving him to work ever since he wrecked his car (I was in the accident too, thankfully okay). Our lives are really intertwined right now.

And despite everything, I still care about him. I don’t think he’s evil or intentionally malicious. I think somewhere along the way I just stopped feeling emotionally cared for and started feeling lonely in my own relationship.

AITH for feeling this way? And how do you tell the difference between a relationship that’s struggling vs one that’s just no longer healthy for you?

Went out to dinner with 6 friends last night and before we ordered everyone agreed we’d just “pay for what we got” because some people were drinking and others weren’t.
I ordered a pasta and coke. Total for my food was like £30.
Everyone else started ordering cocktails, extra sides, desserts, shots etc and by the end the bill was huge. Then one of them suddenly goes “should we just split it evenly?” and everyone immediately agreed except me.
I said I’d rather just pay for my own because I genuinely barely ordered anything compared to everyone else. The atmosphere instantly got weird and one friend said I was being “stingy” they ordered £100’s worth of food and drinks when my meal came to £30.
I still refused and paid for my own meal only.
Now apparently people are annoyed because “it’s just what friends do” and I embarrassed everyone in front of the waiter.
AITAH?