u/_nananan

My husband has a lot of qualities that make me love him, but since my mom came to visit he’s been acting really weird in my opinion. My mom isn’t staying full time with us but he seems annoyed at anything she does. If she helps around, he doesn’t like it or gets annoyed if she puts things in the wrong place, or does thing in a different way we usually do. If she doesn’t do anything, he gets annoyed that she doesn’t help. If she’s quiet, he thinks she’s being moody and should improve her attitude (she has severe health issues and she’s not as bubbly as she used to be). He thinks we aren’t taking advantage of the time we have together because we don’t go out much. She and I are fine with it, we prefer to have time to talk and that she plays with the kids. You get the use. This is all the time. I see his face, his attitude, the general vibe is weird while he’s around.
I’ve talked to my mom about it and she just never meant to cause any issues or isn’t moody because she’s quiet. Sometimes she goes to rest in bed because she’s not feeling ok, she’s not avoiding anyone. You can think she’s lying but my mom isn’t like that. She’s what you see, and she’s like me: she just doesn’t have any second intentions on anything. Her moto is live and let live. I admit having visits can be annoying, but I think he’s the one that has problems, it’s his perception.
He’s also having issues at work. He just doesn’t like most people there and he says they do things to annoy him on purpose. He also always leaves a job because he starts having issues with people. I thought it was because he’s a perfectionist, but I’m starting to see a pattern. But I’m worried I might be the crazy one. I’m going through perimenopause and I know I’m not as patient as I used to be. But also maybe I was putting up with too much?
Tonight he was annoyed at something. There was a small event and we were taking pictures. My mom wanted us to take a family picture alone (me, husband and kids), and then take one with us.ti turns out my husband took this as something bad, like she didn’t want a picture with us? Isn’t that like an insane take? AITA for thinking there’s something wrong with him and not believing my mom is the problem?

Update: thanks for your inputs, I honestly have a hard time discerning whether this is normal or not. We have had difficulties and I have a large part in it (I just found out I have adhd and peri has made it more evident, and I have a hard time keeping up with my chores, and also we don’t see each other a lot), and I thought that was all causing the tension and his view that everything was wrong, but i think something is really wrong and it has been for a while and this is just making it more evident. I can’t say he will see a therapist, I brought it up and he said he didn’t need it, so I think he just rather end things. I don’t have much will to fight left, I love him but I know by experience that someone who doesn’t want to be helped can’t be helped. So I hope he reconsiders, but I don’t want to keep my hopes up because my heart can’t take any more pain and I need to be functional for my kids sake. Thanks for the reality check and your comments. I’ll be enjoying my mom and getting my things ready for what’s coming.