AITA for getting into a car accident
I had picked up two of my friends in order to be brought to another friend’s house so we could all hang out. I was driving about an hour in order to give everyone rides. That morning I explained that my stomach hurt so I would be comfortable to be the designated driver ie not drink or smoke. When we were driving both friends were under the influence and offered me weed, I declined since I was driving. We had been in the car for maybe fifteen minutes, when I lost control of the wheel. It was on a bendy mountain road. I flew into a ditch, airbags deployed, and the car was totaled.
When the crash was happening I tried to aim for the ditch so that we wouldn’t keep spinning or go off into the nearby lake. The drivers side of the car was what got the worst impact and I was the only one who needed medical attention. My hand is purple and no longer moves. I needed stitches from the broken glass and burns from the airbag. I’m sure my friends are also incredibly bruised up and whiplashed but have no serious injuries. I tried my best to make sure they were the ones to stay safe. We were in a no service area so we had to wait awhile for help. My friends pulled themselves out of the car, and left me there, which I wasn’t upset about since they were probably in shock. I eventually managed to climb out of the car before anyone arrived. My friends hugged me when I was finally able to get out of the car. At the scene they both told me it wasn’t my fault and they were glad I was okay. Since the accident I have been ghosted by both people who were in the car. They won’t even tell me if they’re okay. I’ve called and texted.
The friend whose house that we were headed to said that both my friends texted her and others I was driving reckless and dangerous before the crash even happened. I had no idea. We were all having a good time together talking about music and the accident happened out of nowhere. Not once did anyone say my driving was bad before the accident. Now I’m being blamed and told that I was driving recklessly/carelessly/ and purposely put my friend’s lives at risk. That I ignored their concerns. I’m so confused since they were the ones offering me WEED before the accident even happened which would make me more of a careless driver and I said no. I wish my friends told me they felt uncomfortable before the accident. My friends won’t talk to me until I “apologize for my recklessness”. I took accountability as the driver and apologized to everyone involved including for feeling unsafe in my vehicle, but I do not feel as though my driving was reckless. people saw the accident happen and said I did a good job controlling it, I have witnessed statements from the scene saying I wasn’t speeding, and I wasn’t filed any tickets from the police. I was asking my friends to even change music/send text for me so that I wouldn’t be distracted. someone who wasn’t even in the car is making conclusions about what happened. My two other friends don’t have drivers licenses and we’re high at the time of the accident. Yet my friend who wasn’t there is immediately believing the story of what happened given by two high and traumatized people, not the sober driver.
I feel like it is my fault, I know it was just an accident, but the way that my friends are acting makes me feel horrible.
Everything that I did leading up to the accident is being put under a microscope. Since my stomach hurt I’m now being told that I shouldn’t have even been driving since I wasn’t feeling good. My friends are saying that I passed a car in a double yellow line. Meanwhile, I pass an oversized truck in dotted line going under the speed limit. Everything leading up to the accident is a reason I shouldn’t have been driving. When nobody told me they felt this way. They’ve all just been talking about me behind my back. After the accident they all went back to the dorms together and as the night progressed they seemed to paint me as a worst person. i’ve tried my best to be the best friend I can, throwing birthday parties, cooking, inviting them over to my home, making gifts. It hurts so bad that they think I’m this type of person. I also had no idea that they felt unsafe in my vehicle and it pains me they didn’t tell me and instead talked crap about me over text. I’m at the point now. I think I’m just going to block everybody. I feel so alone and helpless. I am a relatively new driver and still of college age so I understand that my driving is not up there with someone who has been behind the wheel for decades, but everyone who has ever been in car with me says I’m a safe driver.
I haven’t been able to get into a car without sobbing, at this point I’m not sure if I can get behind the wheel again.