For context, I'm 16 and I'm about to be a senior in high school. And I really am trying to get a job in the summer because if I am able to get one I can apply for a half day the following year.

So my parents forced me to go roller skating even though I made it clear to them that I did not want to go. So when we arrive they paid for my skates anyway. So I asked the staff if they were hiring and they said they were hiring (And by the looks of it they were heavily understaffed). And I got a job application.

So normally my parents are really busy all the time. And it's not entirely their fault like I know they try their best but when it comes to job applications on physical paper. Usually it would take them like a week or two to be able to bring me to that same place where I got the job application from.

Normally this wouldn't be an issue. However, I've had several instances where it would take them weeks to a month to be able to take me to the same area that I got my job application only to find out that it's been taken by people who submitted their applications earlier. Which I find very irritating.

Since I'm really desperate for a job made up my mind that I would just fill it out there so then I can get it turned in as soon as possible and the general manager would be able to look at my application sooner. And for the first 45 minutes of skating. My dad was especially visibly upset because he comes over and he says " we paid for your skates so you better skate" even though I already told them beforehand, I didn't want to and I just told him I needed to finish something. So he grabs my job application and just looks at it and then he says okay fine.

I ended up having fun that day and did end up skating but I just find it really annoying that they were the ones rushing me when they paid for my skates when I told them not to. So AITAH?

I (18F) am in a really tough spot with my family right now. My parents divorced three years ago after my mom cheated. It was messy, but my dad (52M) seemed to move on and started dating “Sarah” (38F) about a year and a half ago. They’ve been rushing into marriage… the wedding is in six weeks.
Here’s the thing Sarah has been weird to me from the start. She constantly makes little comments about how my dad “finally has someone who actually supports his career” (unlike my mom), pushes him to spend tons of money on her, and has been asking him to add her name to his house and savings accounts already. A few weeks ago I overheard her on the phone telling a friend that marrying him would “finally let her stop worrying about bills” and that she couldn’t believe he was “this easy.” She also badmouths me to my dad whenever I’m not around, saying I’m “too attached” and need to grow up.
I sat my dad down and told him I wouldn’t be in the wedding (he wanted me as a bridesmaid) and that I think Sarah is using him for financial security. I showed him some of the texts she’s sent me that were rude and the screenshots I have of her Instagram where she posts about “securing the bag” in a way that felt pointed. He got really angry, said I was being a bitter child who doesn’t want him to be happy and that I’m just like my mom. Now Sarah is playing victim, crying to everyone that I’m trying to ruin their relationship. Half my extended family is mad at me for “causing drama” right before the wedding, while the other half is quietly agreeing with me but won’t say it out loud.
My dad told me if I can’t be supportive then I don’t have to come to the wedding at all. I’m devastated because I love my dad and we’ve always been close, but I feel like I’m watching him make a huge mistake. AITA for speaking up instead of just smiling and staying quiet?

My wife(27F) and myself (29M) have been discussing me wanting to have a get together/BBQ for my birthday coming up at the end of August. We have no children yet due to infertility on my end, we do want kids and are currently awaiting a screening process with a VERY near and dear friend of ours to be our donor. All of our friends know this little tidbit and thinks it's game on to leave their kids unattended to do whatever the hell they want. And if I need help? Dude gave me a whole nephew 14 years ago, he's been around the block with a kid before lol.

However; I don't need training with kids. I have a literal army of nieces and nephews ranging from newborn to 23. And they ALL know if they were to ever act the way some of our friend's children do my brother's would stop it dead in it's tracks. I DO need mfer's to watch their children because they are not mine and it's not my place to parent THEIR kids.

I have never hosted anything at our house, and quite frankly I'm a very private person. So this is a big step for me and I'll be very disheartened if my property and my boundaries are not respected. They all know the general idea of where I live but they don't know exactly where. I keep it like that from the friends that do have kids because our friends without kids a few of them have an open door policy. Let me stress; clearly we are not against kids, we just don't have them. But I am against poorly parented kids and poor parenting.

For context we live in a 745 sq/ft house; 2 bedroom and 1 bath. Both rooms will be kept off limits because well 1 is our bedroom and the other has a lot of expensive equipment and not child friendly stuff. My house is NOT child proof not very kid friendly. I also don't want to exclude them just because they have children. I know childcare can get expensive and for some god forsaken reason a few of our friends thought it was a good idea to have 5-6 kids. 2 of the friends with multiple are just shit parents to begin with. It's why I'm having a BBQ, outside.. in my DOUBLE lot so I want minimal time spent inside of my house other than grabbing a beer/drink or using the bathroom(which is right next to the kitchen hard to miss if the other 2 doors are shut?).

I told my wife and brother I was thinking about imposing "If you attend, please keep and eye on your children. They are not our responsibility and you will be responsible for damages. Please limit consumption of adult beverages so it does not hinder your ability to do so. Children must be gone by 8pm, no exceptions. Thank you". Even though my 14y/o nephew will be there, but he's my little homie so he IS the exception.

One friend of ours I know won't have an issue, she has 5 kids and her biggest issue is going to be her husband(me and him don't see eye to eye but unlike him I'm a big boy and can keep my mouth shut on disagreements). "Step mom" will be no problem, by the time the BBQ comes around she'll have a 3 month old and the other 4 I've been around their whole lives so they know my boundaries and they have been over here before(one of the twins got sniped by a ping pong ball one day when they tried to go into the cat room after the cat and I told them that's her safe space and that was that). It's the one with 6 unhinged little AHs that will be the problem.

Her oldest one is 15, a very awkward child, and literally CRIES and throws a tantrum when the twins(14M/M) don't want to play with her. C, who is 16F(step mom's oldest) WILL lay into her, that one's our favorite unhinged sibling. Her 2nd oldest is 10 now? She breaks EVERYTHING she touches and has no problem pushing the other kids around into shit. And I KNOW their mother can't afford to replace a $3k TV(which is why I want minimal inside tike for everyone). Her boy I doubt will come, I think baby daddy has custody of him honestly. But even then, I think he's the only one I don't meed to worry about but he is autistic so he would be the exception of staying in the living room if he pleased. The other 3 younger ones? Please... Don't get me started on those tasmanian devils, they're worse than the older 2. So you kind of see why I'm hesitant there?

I feel like an AH if I include the other ones with kids but not her. I could give less of a fuck about some "well I never get out of the house" guilt trip. But... The safety of my wallet and my cat staying INSIDE is literally depending on it I feel?

*edit*

the amount of people calling a "get together" of like 10 adults a party and like 7 kids I DO have a relationship with outside of the other 5 kids is insane.

so let me rephrase; there's me, my wife, my BIL, my other brother/his GF, step mom and kids I HAVE BEEN AROUND FOR ALL THEIR LIVES that have been here on numerous occasions, the one friend and 2 of her children and my mom. That's... 14 people? On an acre in a half-2 acres of property despite the size of the house. That's not that hard, this the reason stated "I HAVE THE YARD TO DO SO". Kids know they can do whatever we're doing most are teenagers. The twins are always doing what we're doing anyways?

My house is adequately childproofed to the needs of the children actively present in my life. Including step mom's. Other friend's children respect me and my boundaries I have set and they understand why those 2 rooms are kept off limits. The other friend's kids will challenge that.

Those 2 parties understand why I would do that because there's only 3 parties with kids in this scenario.

*edit 2*

My brother and BIL are staying after overnight fighting over the couch and air mattress for next day clean up. Neighbor also said as a birthday gift he's going to help with clean up as long as he gets a plate and a beer. This has already been cleared by wife and boss; thus the reason an outdoor BBQ. Of 14 people. 6 of which being kids who do respect the boundaries after careful consideration and feedback. If someone can't take the subtle hint after many engagements at step mom's for parties then there's no reason to be there.

TW: violent threats, suic\*de

This is my first post, but it’s going to be an extremely long one. I (30F) am getting married this year. I have 3 sisters ( 24F, 22F and 21F) who I’ve asked to be my bridesmaids. To be honest, I hesitated a lot about asking one of my sisters (Q) as we have a complicated history, but it seemed mean to leave one sister out, so I decided to invite all three. I should note that Q has autism. She did well in school and is able to work a full-time job, but has always had a hard time with social norms, empathizing with others, executive function and regulating her emotions.

Oddly enough, the conflict I’ve struggled with the most with Q happened nearly a decade ago. When Q was about 15 and I was 21, she was experiencing an unhealthy relationship, mental health issues and came to stay with me for a short time. We went to the mall, to the movies and she wanted to go to a youth mental health crisis center, so I took her to one and she spoke with a counsellor privately, which seemed to make her feel a bit better. After she left my house to return home later that day, she left her Facebook logged in on my computer. I recognize that this is an absolutely terrible thing to do and a violation of her trust, but I was young, dumb and worried, so I decided to read some of her Facebook messages. The messages I saw were a bit concerning as they consisted almost entirely of lies. Q claimed to have a variety of medical conditions she does not have, including schizophrenia, amnesia and end stage tuberculosis. She also claimed to be abused at the hands of my mother and forced to cook dinner nightly for our family as well as do all the cleaning and childcare. This was very much not the case- Q would often throw temper fits or flat out refuse when asked to help with any chores and as far as I can recall, my mom has always cooked every meal for the family. Unfortunately, it got far more disturbing the more I read as I then found messages where Q and her boyfriend of the time talked in depth about their deep hatred of both of their families and discussed their plans to murder us. The messages contained graphic details of how our families would be tortured and murdered as punishment because they felt our families wanted to keep them from dating. While I knew the relationship was an unhealthy one, I was shocked and a little scared when I read those messages.

I went into a full blown panic and called my mom and told her what I found. My mom was upset as well, but seemed to be less so than I was. I believe she ended up telling Q she wasn’t allowed to see that boyfriend anymore and grounded her from her cell phone for a day or two. Q was absolutely furious with me for both invading her privacy and telling our mom. She continued a relationship with that boyfriend for another couple of years, before eventually ending it, as far as I know.

Later that night, out of curiosity and fear I (stupidly) read more of Q’s messages. I found a lot of messages about me specifically, where she described having a particular hatred of me, details of the ways she wanted to murder me and said how much happier she’d be if I was dead. I tried to find a reason in the messages for this hatred or any particular event that caused that reaction, but there didn’t really seem to be much of one. She mentioned always hating me since we were children and saying it was unfair that others in the family thought I was a good person. At the time, I was having a particularly rough go struggling with depression and anxiety. Learning how deeply one of my siblings hated me and regularly fantasized about my death was a shock and I went to a very dark place mentally which resulted in a suic\*de attempt. I spent 15 days in the ER and the mental ward of the hospital before I was released.

Because I am dumb, a few months after I was discharged from the hospital, I once again snooped through Q’s messages ( I know, I know- a really stupid choice). I guess I was hoping to find some sort of proof that Q did not actually want me to die after I nearly had. Unfortunately, it was the opposite. Q expressed frustration to her boyfriend that I was still alive and that I didn’t successfully finish the job. They again discussed wanting to murder their families and the plans of how they would do it.

It’s odd because while the events from back then are something that my mom and all of my adult siblings are aware of, it’s not something we ever really acknowledged. My mom has always insisted that the messages I read on Q’s Facebook could not have been genuine, that she must have only been saying them in an attempt to bond with her boyfriend and connect over shared interests. Q and her boyfriend of the time have both been diagnosed with autism, and my mom stated the messages were likely influenced by that as well as Q’s tendency to adapt herself to those around her.

Then, 3 years ago, Q pursued and slept with a man I had briefly dated. I’d stopped seeing this man because I’d found out he was married and Q was aware of this. Q has a history of pursuing married men, which has always made me uncomfortable, but this instance made me particularly uncomfortable. It felt weird that my sister wanted to sleep with someone I’d slept with. My mom encouraged me to forgive her and reminded me that Q had a hard time with social norms because of her autism. I ultimately decided to let it go.

More recently, Q seems to be having a hard time at events where others are the focus of attention. For example, this year she declined to attend the wedding of our younger sister (21), citing that she "had to work". She later told me that she could have easily gotten it off work but chose not to attend because she did not want to.

In another similar instance, last year on my 30th birthday party, my fiancé booked an Airbnb for 2 days for my family to celebrate together. Q claimed she wouldn’t be able to attend because she’d be away on vacation. While she did end up showing up on the second day for the last few hours, it later came out that she was not on vacation, she just didn’t want to attend.

Now onto the issues since I asked Q to be a bridesmaid. From the start, after I became engaged last year, she seemed to be uncomfortable whenever my wedding was brought up. Q would often change the subject to her own accomplishments or her own future wedding, should she become engaged.

She would also regularly complain about aspects of being a bridesmaid, sometimes to me, but most often to other members of the family, such as having to buy a dress, have her hair and makeup done or when my maid of honour asked her to contribute to the cost of my bachelorette party.

I should note that myself and our other adult siblings ( 33, 30, 22,21) have moved out of our mom’s house, pay bills and support ourselves. Q does work, but lives at home and because of this, has significantly less expenses. Nevertheless, Q has always had a bit of a hard time managing her money and over the years I’ve occasionally lent or given her money to help out. Last year, I lent her about 4000$ to pay for a vacation.

While none of the other bridesmaids have had complaints about costs, because of Q’s money troubles and her complaints about wedding costs, I’ve offered to cover costs for her various bridesmaids expenses. At my mom’s request, I’ve also lowered my expectations for Q and haven’t really asked her to help with wedding planning tasks, as she has seemed reluctant and irritated about the idea of assisting.

While Q has had a tendency to lie, since my engagement, I’ve noticed a lot of these lies have shifted to be about me and me being a bad bride/bridezilla. For instance, this week she told our family that I demanded she cancel her vacation plans in order to attend my bachelorette party, which did not happen. In reality, Q stated that she would not be able to attend my bachelorette party on Sunday as she was thinking she might go on vacation and return the Friday prior to the party. She said that if she returned on the Friday, she would want several days to “recover emotionally and financially” and would not want to spend money on the bachelorette party. I didn’t push this issue and told Q that it was her choice whether she wanted to participate or not and that I would respect her decision.

Another main concern I had with a Q as a bridesmaid has been hygiene. Since puberty, Q has struggled to maintain consistent hygiene. She will often show up to school/work/ family events with strong body odour, bad breath as a result of not brushing her teeth for several days and greasy hair. Several other family members have commented on this. As she lives with our mom, when she notices this, my mom will often discreetly ask Q to have a shower, apply deodorant, etc. This typically makes Q very upset and she will insist that she doesn’t need to shower and my mom is just being dramatic, mean or ableist. Several times when I’ve been driving Q somewhere, I’ll notice bad breath and have discreetly offered her a disposable toothbrush/gum.

The major conflict happened recently after my mom mentioned to me in front of my other sister/bridesmaid that she was worried Q’s hygiene would be an issue at my wedding. I told her that I was worried about this as well and my mom said that she would try her best to ensure that Q showered, washed her hair and brushed her teeth before the event. Later that night, my sister mentioned to Q that my mom and I were worried about her hygiene. Q became very embarrassed and angry with me and our mom. Q insisted to our mom that I was just saying that to be mean, that she has not had hygiene issues for a few years and that I must’ve only said that because she has autism and I am being judgmental and ableist.

Yesterday, Q sent me a message saying that she did not want to be a bridesmaid anymore, as she was very hurt and embarrassed when she heard about my concerns about her hygiene and that I wasn’t happy with her behaviour towards the wedding. She stated that I was being unnecessarily mean, treating her unfairly due to her autism and that she had been an excellent bridesmaid but it would never be enough to satisfy me. While I recognize that the situation would be embarrassing and stressful for her, myself and the other bridesmaids feel that based on her actions, Q did not ever want to be a bridesmaid and was "looking for an out".

I have told Q that I accept her decision to no longer be a bridesmaid. However, her message did hurt my feelings and I don’t feel it was an accurate assessment of the situation. But to be honest, I’m a bit relieved now that all my of my bridesmaids will be people who want to participate.

After taking a good hard look at my relationship with Q, our history, her actions and attitude towards the wedding, I’m thinking it might be best to not even invite her to be a wedding guest. She’s caused me a significant amount of stress and I know if she were to attend, I’d spend a great deal of the wedding worried about her, how she’d act at the wedding and potential drama.

Would I be the a\*\*hole if I uninvited my disabled sister from attending my wedding as a guest?

I (25M) and my wife (25F) used to be very close with my sister (28F). This happened about 4 years ago.

It was sick season, so my wife, our 7-month-old daughter, and I had stayed home for about 3 weeks except to pick up Walmart grocery orders. For my birthday, we decided to visit my parents since we thought it would be safe.

When we arrived, only my dad was there. About 20 minutes later, my mom and sister arrived with her two kids after a doctor's appointment. They all started playing together.

About 15 minutes later, my sister casually said, "Don't let them eat or drink after each other or put the same toys in their mouths because they have Hand, Foot, and Mouth."

We immediately separated the kids and left shortly afterward. We were upset she waited until after they had already been playing to tell us.

Four days later, our daughter started getting sick. We made a doctor's appointment for the next morning. That night, I saw my sister post on Facebook that one of her kids was taking a breathing treatment with the caption, "My poor babies are slowly getting over RSV."

I messaged her asking when they had been diagnosed and whether she knew they might have RSV when we visited. Instead of answering directly, she argued with me and avoided the questions.

The next day, our daughter tested positive for RSV. Later that same day, her breathing became so bad that we rushed her to the children's hospital, where she spent a week recovering. At one point, her oxygen dropped to 80%.

After more arguments, my sister finally admitted she had taken her kids to be tested for RSV the same day we all got together. She never warned us beforehand. Her excuse for bringing them over was, "Mom asked us to come in." I told her she had seen our vehicle outside and could have simply gone home instead of exposing everyone.

For context, our daughter had already been hospitalized twice before for breathing issues caused by simple colds, and I have asthma, so respiratory illnesses are something we take very seriously.

We know nobody can prove exactly where she caught RSV, but no one around us had been sick for weeks, and this all happened immediately after they played together.

We asked my sister for an apology—not because we think she intentionally got our daughter sick, but because she didn't warn us about Hand, Foot, and Mouth or tell us her kids were being tested for RSV. She has refused.

Our parents and siblings think we're overreacting, but because of everything that happened and her refusal to take any responsibility, we haven't spoken to her or let her around our daughter in four years.

AITAH?

A inizio maggio, mentre tornavo a casa di notte dalla stazione di Milano, un ragazzo (lo chiamerò Piero, nome fittizio) mi ha fermato alla fermata della metro chiedendomi se potessi prestargli 25€ per comprare un biglietto del treno e tornare a Torino.

All’inizio ero piuttosto scettico, ma alla fine ho deciso di prestarglieli. È stato lui, spontaneamente, a lasciarmi il suo numero di telefono e a dirmi che mi avrebbe restituito i soldi appena possibile.

Dopo qualche settimana gli ho scritto per chiedergli se fosse riuscito a ridarmeli. Mi ha risposto che stava attraversando un periodo difficile dal punto di vista economico e che aspettava lo stipendio. Gli ho detto che non c’era fretta e che avrebbe potuto restituirmeli una volta ricevuto.

Da quel momento, però, il pagamento è stato rimandato più volte. Ogni volta che gli chiedevo aggiornamenti mi indicava una nuova data entro cui avrebbe pagato (dopo lo stipendio, entro fine mese, un venerdì, “domani”, “dopo pranzo”), ma nessuna di queste scadenze è stata rispettata.

Dopo diversi rinvii gli ho chiesto di indicarmi una data precisa entro cui avrebbe effettuato il pagamento. Mi ha risposto che avrebbe pagato entro la fine di giugno, ma anche quella scadenza è passata senza che ricevessi nulla.

Quando gliel’ho fatto notare, mi ha detto che non aveva ancora i soldi. A quel punto gli ho risposto che, se anche quell’ultima scadenza non fosse stata rispettata, avrei “sentito chi di dovere”. Non ho specificato cosa intendessi, ma lui ha interpretato la frase come un riferimento a una denuncia e mi ha accusato di ricattarlo.

La conversazione è poi degenerata. Mi ha insultato, dicendomi che ero attaccato ai soldi, che avrei dovuto vergognarmi e chiamandomi con vari epiteti offensivi. Poco dopo ha effettuato il bonifico e mi ha detto di cancellare il suo numero e di non contattarlo più (dandomi del pezzo di merda e rispondendogli con “meglio pezzo di merda che fesso”)(devo dirvi che ho goduto abbastanza dato che ha visualizzato, non ha risposto e mi ha pure bloccato)

Il bonifico lo ha mandato ieri, venerdì sera, quindi prima di lunedì o martedì il bonifico non arriverà.
Appunto come vi dicevo oggi mi ha pure bloccato nel momento esatto in cui stavo parlando della questione con un’amica, quindi non so se effettivamente arriverà. Se non arriva non avrei nemmeno altro modo per ricontattarlo e vi chiedo nel caso cosa sia meglio fare secondo voi

comunque, continuavo a pensare che il problema non fosse tanto l’importo, quanto il fatto che avesse fissato lui stesso più scadenze senza rispettarle, costringendomi ogni volta a ricontattarlo.

Quindi vi chiedo: sono io lo stronzo per aver continuato a chiedere indietro i miei 25€ e per aver insistito sul rispetto delle scadenze che lui stesso aveva indicato, oppure avrei dovuto semplicemente lasciar perdere?

Hi everyone. First of all, I apologize for any mistakes in my English, as it isn't my first language.

So, I (22M) reported "Mike" (24M) (fake name, of course) from my university friend group to the Canada Revenue Agency.

Mike is in the same program as me. Since he's a little older, he started a company before going to university. One important thing to know is that we're studying to become social workers, and people in our program generally have strong values regarding fairness, honesty, and respecting the law.

Mike has always been part of our friend group, but we've never actually been close. We don't really talk or spend time together one-on-one—he's just someone who's there when we all go out for beers or other activities.

A few days ago, we were out having drinks when Mike joined us after work. He started bragging about charging an elderly woman $75 more than he should have. Curious, I asked him how and why he did it. He told me that his business isn't officially registered and that he charges GST/QST to some clients even though he doesn't remit those taxes and does everything under the table.

I was already shocked, but then he laughed and said, "Old people are dumb enough to pay taxes without asking for a receipt."

As the night went on and he got more intoxicated, he admitted that he has two 16-year-old employees. He said he creates fake pay stubs for them that include tax deductions, but then pays them under the table instead, usually through one Interac e-Transfer each month that "the bank hasn't flagged yet."

At that point, I was furious.

I asked him whether he realized that if one of his employees got injured on the job, they could have serious issues making a workers' compensation or insurance claim because of how he was paying them. He replied that he never keeps employees for more than three months because he believes they're still in a "trial period," so he doesn't have to provide them with insurance or benefits. As far as I know, that's not how it works.

When I got back to my apartment, I told my roommate, who's a law student, what had happened. He showed me how to report suspected tax fraud to the Canada Revenue Agency, as well as the appropriate provincial agencies. After thinking it over, I submitted reports to all of the agencies that seemed relevant.

Later, I told one of my friends what I'd done. He said I was kind of an asshole for reporting Mike. I tried explaining that this wasn't just about tax evasion—it involved taking advantage of elderly customers, potentially exploiting teenage employees, and committing what sounded like multiple forms of fraud. Even after hearing that, he still thinks I went too far.

So... AITA?

So i hv ts friend, Henrey. He got sa'd as a child. Its not something he hides or anything. He had a pretty f'ed up childhood and whatnot. He went to years of councelling. Yh, so that's him.

The other day, we were talking about rape. He was pretty vocal in the discussion since he experienced it himself. A friend asked me what i would do if I ever got raped. So i said that if i was getting raped, and there was no hope, the best thing I could do is try to enjoy it. Henrey looked at me with disgust.

Now the entire group is divided. Some say that i'm insensitive and some say that that's just my opinion. Idek which side I fall into

AITAH?

I (31F) and boyfriend (31m) have had this on going problem. I bring up how our spicy sleep isn’t spicing me. If he erupts then he lays on his back with a cheeky smile and it’s just over. If I give him oral to change it up he won’t do it back. If he does it to me he bothers me until I do it back to him. I’ve brought this up A LOT. We bought toys for him to use on me after so it’s not one sided he used it once. Lately we’ve been sober going to the gym. Both of us look physically better than we have our whole relationship. I just want to feel desired. He took me on a romantic date dinner on a boat last night. We passed out so I got up showered edged him for like an hour until he finished and laid there while he put his clothes on. I said you know that you could do that back to me. He said is that the only reason you did it? I said no, I love doing that to you. Then he just started watching videos on his phone. I waited.. nothing… then got up got dressed came back in and said next time we do this could it not be over when you finish. He said yea let me deal with every little problem you have in our relationship and see if i still want to be here. I said It’s just that he always orgasms and it feels like he never cares how much I don’t. He laughed at me so I walked away. I get maybe it hurts his ego. I also just am tired of not being taken care of. I hate even asking it gives me anxiety. His testosterone is also extremely low we had it tested twice now once was 60 and another time was 150. So I don’t know if i’m the ass hole for not being sensitive to this.

To start out I just wanna say me (20 F) has been with my boyfriend (20 M) for almost five years we are high school sweethearts. At about 4 years and 2 months we had a rough patch the ended in us taking a break but we would still fool around because this is the only man I have ever been with and nowadays you don’t know what diseases are floating around. Eventually we started talking about our future and he let me decide between marriage or a baby and I have always dreamed of being a mom and having a baby of my own so I chose a baby. We didn’t tell anyone what we were planning nor that we were still seeing each other. After trying for half a month for our son that’s due in September we finally ended up pregnant… plot twist though his family nor my sister was happy at all. There was rumor started that I was out screwing around with other guys but I always had evidence and proof that it was false and the baby is still his whether they like it or not! Well his mother would not help me with the baby registry as this was my first time I needed help and she refused and I ended up putting the wrong date of the baby due date and she tried to use that against me. Well it’s like she can’t accept the fact that her 20 year old son is growing up and starting a family of his own.. and here’s why I say that!!! Anytime there is a disagreement my words are twisted by her or she’s saying I said things that never even came out of my mouth or she tries to throw in that the baby might not even be his (which the baby is his). For example here recently we were driving down the road it was me my boyfriends mom and his 13 year old brother as my boyfriend was at work and we were on the way to take his brother to our local city pool where his mom ended up telling him she had $4 dollars in cash and one dollar in change and it turned into a whole argument because a DOLLAR IN CHANGE WAS JUST SO EMBARRASSING and all I said was sometimes you have to do what you have to do when your not rich I even threw in the fact that my boyfriend don’t like to pay in change either but he’s learned that when your not rich you gotta do what you gotta do…. His little brother turned around as I’m sitting in the back seat and he’s in the front and started going off on me calling me a lazy fat b!tch and telling me no one likes me and knew things he shouldn’t have even been told or shouldn’t even know because it’s between me and my bf (as his mom and my sister started the rumors) well she just sat there and let him say a whole bunch of things that wasn’t true and when I got out of the car my boyfriends mom texted him and said a whole bunch of nonsense that I didn’t even say mind you saying I called not only my boyfriends brother but also my boyfriend entitled and spoiled… she likes to start fights between and twists my words. So AITA because when our baby is born I will not let his family around our son? She also tells him he don’t have to be loyal and he don’t owe anything to me because we are not married… like we didn’t just decide to grow us a little family of our own and chose to build a life together… all while she’s fucking around with a man that’s engaged and she was screwing a man that was married 🤷‍♀️

My (34f) sister has the life I've been dying for. Shes got a stay at home job that pays her beautifully, she's a homeowner, is married and her husband is smart as hell/they both are. And frankly they have the healthiest relationship I've seen in a long time considering our childhood.
I (28f) however went the child rearing route, had 2 kids so majority of my money goes to that and I only make 100 dollars a week working part time at Harris teeter bc they "don't have hours". So, to say I'm going thru a rough patch is the understatement of the year. I love my kids but they do drain my energy majority of the time and frankly I'm a little burnt out w this whole fucking situation.
My boyfriend is a great hard working father and i couldn't have asked for a better partner. But he won't pop the question till after the kids are grown bc we need to keep our medical insurance the same. And he makes all the money but it goes straight towards bills and I pull my weight don't get me wrong bc i still have savings from my last job. But if I'd known i had to wait 18 years not to get the wedding of my dreams i wouldn't have fallen for him. I could give a fuck if we have medical insurance I wanted him to fully commit to me bc I needed that validation. Clearly i know my priorities are a lil messed up but im not sure how to fix those little things that make my heart hurt inside. Lowkey think im a loser and that became evident looking in at my sisters life

Anyway, I saved up around 2k to visit my sister for the weekend and catch up, and I was fine until she gave me a house tour, nice cars, a movie room was a tv bigger than my body(I'm 6'1 btw). Easily a 15-20k kitchen and living room and just the coolest shit imaginable. All I could fixate on is how my sons would've broken all of these nice things if i had them. I felt incredibly insecure and I'm aware that i shouldn't feel this way and all, but it just took over me. I want my sister's life. It seems quiet and quaint and most importantly quiet.

Idek why I'm saying all this but I'm kinda pissed at myself. I wasted my 20s, focused too hard on friendships and relationships and have absolutely nothing to show for it. When I get back home I'm going to find a better job for one and focus a little less on being a mom and get my fucking shit together bc I want what my sister has and idc how that sounds. Kinda want a redo at life.

I (25M) am currently planning my wedding with my fiancée (23F). We’re intentionally keeping it very small with fewer than 20 guests, limited to close friends and immediate family. We want the day to be stress-free and surrounded only by people we genuinely value and want to celebrate with.

Recently, I called my mother (49F) to get her opinion on a potential wedding venue. During the conversation, we started discussing the guest list, and she became very upset when I told her I do not plan to invite my brother (26M).

For context, about four years ago, I was visiting my family during winter break when I got into a serious altercation with my brother. My younger sister (8 at the time) accidentally caused my nephew (1 at the time) to fall and start crying. When my brother heard the commotion, he began screaming at my sister, calling her profanities and berating her for the accident.

I stepped in, removed my sister from the situation, and confronted him. I told him that if he were watching his son instead of doing drugs in the garage (including meth and other substances), the accident never would have happened.

In response, my brother tried to hit me with a skateboard, put a gun to my head, and attempted to stab me. I told him a real man would put the weapons down. My grandmother (70F) intervened and told me to leave. My brother then got in his car and drove off, continuing to threaten me and saying he was going to get his friends to jump and kill me.

Later, he texted our mother that he was going to “stick [me] in the neck, and laugh as he bleeds out.” My mother replied only that he needed to “stop and get help.” That same night, I packed my things and drove back to my college in another state.

Since that incident, my brother and I have not spoken once. During the last few years, he went to prison, completed rehab, was released, and has allegedly remained sober. However, he has never apologized, acknowledged what happened, or attempted to make amends in any way.

Despite this, my family continually tells me I need to “move on” and “get over it,” arguing that he is a different person now. My mother is especially insistent. She argues that he is not truly responsible because he “wasn’t in his right mind” due to his addiction. She says I cannot understand what he was going through because I have never struggled with substance abuse, and therefore it is unfair for me to hold a grudge over something that happened while he was under the influence. Whenever I raise concerns about his behavior, my mother's response is usually, “He’s my son, I have to support him.” When I asked why that support seemed to outweigh concern for me, she explained that, as a recovering addict, she feels a responsibility to stand by him during his recovery. 

Now, my mother insists that I must invite my brother to my wedding because excluding immediate family would be wrong. My view is that I have no obligation to be the bigger person, especially when the person who threatened my life has never acknowledged what he did, apologized, or made any effort to repair the relationship.

After years of being told to "move on" and hearing excuses made on his behalf, I finally reached my breaking point. I told my mother that I don't want people at my wedding who continue to minimize what happened or pressure me into reconciling with someone who has shown no remorse. I said that if she couldn't respect my decision and continued insisting that I invite my brother, then she would not be invited either.

AITAH?

Side note: The first time my brother met my fiancée was during a New Year's visit. His very first comment to her was mocking her shoes, saying she must be "too broke" to afford real Air Forces. Before I could even react to that, my grandmother immediately told me to "mind my P's and Q's" and walk away.

I (47F) and my son (18M, we'll call him Kyle) have been going back and forth on whether he should be wearing longer shorts.

I taught him how to do his own laundry at 16 but last year I told him I would not be doing it for him anymore as he was graduating high-school and becoming more of an adult. Kyle, instead of applying to colleges, applying to jobs, or actually doing his own laundry, just plays video games all day in his room. So his boxers (as well as the majority of his clothes) never get washed.

The main issue this is causing is that sometimes when Kyle is wearing shorts you can see his genitalia peeking out depending on how he is sitting or moving about. I had talked to my husband (68M, we'll call him Dave) about this initially, and he has tried to talk to our son about this too. As I was told, our son's response was to ask why we were looking and why it mattered and that there was little difference between his clothes and how “women wear shorts and swimsuits that show their fat asses all the time.” Dave, disappointingly, said Kyle has a good point and shrugged it off.

I also brought this up to Kyle's boyfriend (19M, we'll call him Brad). He apparently sees no issue with Kyle's genitalia peeking out and talked about how women wear revealing clothing all the time, so “Kyle should be able to exist in his natural body and wear whatever he wants because he's an adult.” We then got into an argument about how Kyle doesn't do his own laundry because that is the cause of this issue. Brad attributes the laundry problem to Kyle's supposed “depression” over his birth father ending his own life years ago.

I, sick of everyone telling me it was okay for my grown adult of a son to go out in public spaces with the threat of his genitalia peeking out (and potentially in front of children!), threatened to kick Kyle out if he doesn't either buy longer shorts or do his laundry. Kyle freaked out on me and in protest, while shouting at me, threw his messy clothes all about the house and then left the house (I assume to Brads). My husband stood around silently while this all of this happened and then went out for a cigar because he knows I hate his smoking as I have asthma and he did not want to discuss the problem.

So. Am I the asshole for threatening to kick Kyle out if he doesn't wear longer shorts so his genitalia doesn't show?

So, me(18) and vivi(20) met in 2019, we have always been bestfriends, or rather siblings like relation. We genuinely loved each other like blood. She always guided me through my tough times like an elder sister, and vice versa, I did too.

But our friendship was always pretty toxic. She was avoidant, used to push me away for months, then we talked for few weeks & she used to leave afterwards. And the cycle continued for years. We could only talk wherever she wished, and ceased as per her mood.

I was tired of this, and decided to change myself because it was suffocating.

Then we stopped talking (she ghosted me). Then comes my birthday. She missed the date and wished me on wrong day, I'm pursuing psychology major, so I knew she was plotting something(the whole wish seemed fake. She clarified herself first, did a shallow hbd thing etc.)

To which, i replied, "stop texting me" because I was hurt.

Then, after a whole month, I talked to a mutual friend, and he needed help with the medical field, so I gave him vivi's contact, so she could help him.

Well, vivi ranted to him saying i badmouthed her. Then I felt guilty because that mutual friend said "you shouldn't talk shit to people you care about dude"

And then, I texted vivi. I apologised for my mistakes, saying that she doesn't have to forgive me, but she talked shit about my apology saying that I always apologise repeatedly (the thing is, I'm insanely afraid of losing my sister, so i used to apologise for every little mistake. Mind you, in these 7 years of friendship, she has only apologised once)

She was humiliating me a lot, but I felt tolerant because deep down in my psyche, I knew she was hurt because of me. So i felt she was doing right.

Then, next day. She took screenshots of our conversation, to which i confronted her.

But here's the catch, I drank alcohol the night before, and I was going through a hangover.

Me & her fought over our past deeds. She talked trash about things I did, i talked trash too.

Then, she talked bad about my mother. But I didn't react, but felt anger. I said, "you're projection

Then she kept boasting how much better she is from everyone. To which i said, then why do you project your hatred on others, and she said "I'm not black, muslim, low caste, dumb, ugly, academically illiterate, I have good voice good face good personality good figure. So why shouldn't I hate others?"

And I replied to her "that's why you're miserable and unlovable"

And she said "my brother loves me, my mother loves me. Look at you, your own parents love you. Awwww how sad"

Then I said "if she loved you, wouldn't have abused you like animals" i talked about the abusive behavior of her mother, and she used to beat her during her childhood.

Then she talked about my mother again, a little disgusting.

To which, in hangover anger, I did something i should never have.

I talked shit about her dad, who is no more. And some really bad taunts(like, she's the one who consumed him. He was fed up of her.) to the point, it could make anyone go crazy.

And the thing is, i was the first person she told anyone about her dad.

And idk how can I redeem myself now. I really want my sister back.

I've been drinking & smoking whole day now, as if my actual sister d!ed.

And honestly, after my mother, she was the person i loved the most.

Please. Someone, give guidance or insights. Please don't ignore.

I (17 F) and my step-cousin (17 F) go to different high schools and both had our junior proms coming up. For privacy sake let’s call my step-cousin Kayla. When we both got the dates for our proms, Kayla then invited me to go to her prom with her (we had been inseparable since we were 5 and she also doesn’t have many friends at her own school), so i said something along the lines of “if im free/allowed to go, of course id love to!”. Knowing the steps that go into getting approval to bring a guest to prom as well as get my parents approval, we started making a sorta game plan JUST IN CASE I WAS ALLOWED TO. The plan was made very clearly to present to my parents to get approval, not a guarantee I was able to attend which was made very clear. Fast forward maybe a week or two later I was home with my mom, me and Kayla had been texting about prom earlier that day so I wanted to try and ask my mom for a yes or no about my attendance to prom. I later realized the time in place I had chosen to ask that question was a poor time, she immediately said no that i was not able to go. That I admit was a fault of mine in this whole situation. So, my next thought was to of course text Kayla and say I could not go. I told Kayla I was sorry that I couldn’t go because my mom said no. She was extremely short with me and then stopped responding to my texts all together. I understood she was just upset and was maybe just not wanting to talk to me due to frustration but figured the whole thing would blow over because it was my moms decision and not mine, I didn’t think she was upset with me but rather with the situation. So fast forward another couple weeks or so, our family went out to a dinner (about 8ish people- me, my step dad, my mom, my little sister, Kayla, Kayla’s mom and dad, my step grandparents), me and Kayla hadn’t spoken since she ignored my last messages to her. I was going to let the situation go and thought maybe she was just having a rough time but when she walked into the restaurant she said hi to my step grandparents (her bio grandparents) and my 5 year old little sister who ran up to her the second she walked in… I waved to her with a smile, ignored. I said “Hi”, ignored again. And not only did she ignore me, she ignored my mom and step dad as well. Not a word spoken to the 3 of us. So i was gonna be done talking and i did not want to cause any sort of scene in a public setting. Well my step dad saw her ignoring all of us and called her over from across the table and basically told her to “stop dragging this on” and “stop being a baby” she immediately said “Well it’s not my fault Emily ditched me”… my mom immediately jumped in and said “ Emily did not ditch you, it was my decision and I said no.”. So that dinner was awkward. The thing is I would most definitely go to her prom if I was allowed to, my mom’s decision was no and I can’t change that. All of this was almost 4 months ago. Easily this has been the longest argument we have had with each other. Now recently it’s been ok I guess, we have casually chatted a bit at our family cottage. But a couple weeks ago we were talking and it was going well and she said “well I’m not saying it’s your fault but….” And that made me upset, I didn’t say anything but this genuinely hurts. If I could’ve went to her prom I would’ve, period. But since that argument we barely talk and she still seems upset although I have told her I would’ve loved to go and that it was my mom’s decision. Since this argument she has made tons of comments to me and just overall continues to treat me as she did at the restaurant. I understand she is upset and so am I but I can’t help but feel I shouldn’t be treated like I’m a crappy cousin for this although I should’ve found a more convenient time to ask my mom.
AITA and what should I do?
Edit: The reason my mom said no- She and my step dad were going to a concert and didn’t think they’d get back in time and I would not have a ride, so when I had asked her for a yes or no she told me it was an inconvenient time to ask and said no for those 2 reasons. Should’ve added that to the original post my bad.

I was with “Ghost” for about 7years. We had lots of ups and downs during this time and a child was conceived in the mix of everything.
Before we started to date, the way we got together wasn’t a normal dating scene. We each had an ex’s whom weren’t meeting our needs, hiding things from us and emotionally withdrawing and we both tried to mend our relationships but it didn’t work out. In the end Ghost and I were able to fill in for each other and provide safety, friendship and then romance.
I will be the first to say I am not perfect as I did try to leave him several times, particularly because I felt at times I was never good enough for someone to be so kind in the way he was to me and I felt I didn’t deserve it. Mainly this came from trauma growing up and past crap relationships.
During my pregnancy ghost was a little to comfortable with this gal I will call “Ashley”, he was sharing vapes, bringing her food to work and it made me very uncomfortable especially knowing I was pregnant. I told him that she was coming off super flirtatious and so was he when they were together and asked him to stop talking to her..Ashley randomly stops by the house one day after our child was maybe about 18-24mths old, while I was working and our cameras were off.. I was not happy. I asked him why the cameras were off and what was she doing in our home. He said she just came to talk, and to be honest I didn’t believe him then.

Issues at home: I would ask ghost to do something like “can you wash the dishes today”.. just emotionally drained me as it would take him days to do this. .. then I would feel the need to become hyper independent and do them and other task myself as I would get tired of asking and seeing dirty dishes in the sink.
Before you ask, yes Ghost and I both worked. He worked longer shifts because of his job, when I worked more during the week among. Ghost has ADHD as well.
After so many years of this going on and losing myself more more.. I completely lost interest in ghost.. not just physically, but romantically.
We would fight and I would want to leave. No one wants to fight with someone they love constantly. We calmed down and tried to work things out. I felt I was doing a lot of it for our child and the love I knew I still had.

I went back to school and ghost was able to get his work schedule to fit my class schedule. Which I was appreciative of.
Everyday, I was having to call and make sure ghost and our child was up for school. I did this everyday on my way to my classes and to my clinical rotations. This became mentally taxing as I felt like I was being a walking talking calendar to a grown man.
No one signs up to be a mother to a grown man and have to remind him of appointments, yet alone getting a child ready for school.
He would get upset bc I would go to bed early on nights I had to drive a hour or hour n a half to school/clinicals.
One day I told him I didn’t love him anymore. I was very mentally and physically tired and numb to feelings. Between losing my best friend who was my dog and a very special aunt.. I became sad and depressed for a while.
I even told him if he wasn’t getting what he needed from me to go elsewhere.. ( this was said bc I again felt like I wasn’t enough and after constantly nagging him as he said.. I’d have rather been alone then to live in fight or flight mode with him).I didn’t say it as a challenge. It was said bc I was tired of sex being brought up when school was 4 days a week, work was 2 and the single day I had off I spent running medical appointments, groceries and doing whatever around the house so he could relax when he came home. Yes, we had sex but not often.

Update to why I left.
- I only found this out bc of a legal document ghost received and when he showed me he kept saying he was going to tell me but he didn’t want me to drop out of school.
He had been cheating on me while I was finishing school, taking care of our child with autism, and our home. I found out he cheated near my last midterms and shortly around our anniversary.
He expected me to just get back with him..
Once, I got ahold of his phone as ghost was in jail. I found conversations and pictures of females going back to a year or so after our child was born.
His tinder page and such.
Then I was informed that he and Ashley were flirtatious when he was with the gf prior to me. Which he denied but several employees he worked with seen it.

Once he was out of jail, I secured a new place and our child stays with me unless it’s work days then our child is with him.
Since moving, after a big fight around my birthday bc ghost was mad I sent my chesticles to the man I’m dating now while he was in jail.i made it clear I was done with him after he received that legal document. To him my chesticles and going on “dates” for food and conversation ( I paid for the meals of these dates) was bigger than him cheating on me.
Smdh

I know I am the a**hole for trying to leave multiple times. I felt things were supposed to get better after every argument/ fight and they didn’t. My depression has been getting better as my nervous system is working its way out of fight/flight mode.
Ghost isn’t a bad dad, he blames me for a lot of what happen. How he got into this space, how I didn’t make him feel good enough about himself and more.

But I felt after the cheating it was time to leave, so would that make me the a**hole?

SUMMARY: I broke/fractured my foot on a camping trip I planned. My friends told me to "walk it off" and go to the beach, and got mad that my injury ruined their vacation and fireworks plans. I drove myself home to a clinic and left the group chat when they started arguing back. Are they worth saving? im sorry for the long text but I needed to get this off my chest.

I was planning this camping trip for my friend group. parents dropped me off with a car, helping us set up before they left for their own vacation an hour away.I was the primary driver for our group.

Another friend brought her own car, but she unexpectedly had to leave early for work My parents' strict rule was that I could only drive between the campsite and the local lake town, except in an absolute emergency. Shortly after my parents left, we went on a trail hike. I tripped over a root, fell, and was crying in excruciating pain.Instead of understanding the seriousness of the situation

, my friends told me to just "get up and walk back to the site." I had to hop on one leg in agony to get back At the campsite, I accidentally bumped a bag of chips while struggling to sit down. A

friend immediately yelled at me for it, even though I apologized. Overwhelmed and in severe physical and mental distress, I isolated myself in the car to cry and get space. Only one good friend came to sit with me and comfort me.

At 10:00 PM, I called my brother for advice. He suggested waiting until morning.

• By midnight, the pain was unbearable. My comforting friend drove me to the nearest local hospital.
• The wait time was projected to be 9 hours. At 3:00 AM, after waiting three hours, I decided to leave the hospital so my friend could finally get some sleep.
• Shivering, running on zero sleep, and realizing my left foot was likely broken, I made the executive decision to drive 1.5 hours back to my hometown to go to a familiar clinic. I thought they would manage without me since I thought my friend that had another car but in the afternoon she had to leave for work and probably left cause she needed to get home and sleep because I made she chose to go to the hospital with me. I would also like to mention since my parents were an hour away from my friends they were frequently checking up on them asking if they wanted to leave which they said no we are doing good. so they were not stranded!
• That morning, I left the camp and went home to my siblings who could help me.
• When I told my friends I was leaving to seek medical care, they completely lacked empathy. One friend told me to "go swimming" or ill buy crutches for you so we can go to the beach together.
• They claimed they were "offering solutions" by telling me to buy crutches, stay at the campsite, and just go to a local clinic nearby later. They insisted I should stay so I wouldn't "inconvenience their plans" or ruin their beach day.
• While asking a so called "friend" to pack up my bag bc I couldn't walk, I overheard a friend mocking me to the others, saying:"She's going home because she doesn't want to wait one fucking hour at a clinic."
• I drove home in tears. My parents completely backed my decision, took me to the clinic, and confirmed that I had fractured my foot and detached a ligament.
• Despite their cruelty, I still texted them to make sure they were okay. I received no response. The next day, my parents kindly drove all the way back to the campsite to pick them up and bring them home safely.

(the doom and despair aftermath)

• Once they were home, the group chat exploded with paragraphs accusing me of "ruining everything."
• They claimed they were the ones who were hurt because I "brushed off" their solutions and was unwilling to listen to them.
• They accused me of "kicking down food, yelling at everyone, and running off in the night." saying im in the wrong for the way I acted due to my body being in pain. comparing me to their friend that also broke his leg acting kinder than me even tho we were in city and got driven home right after. the last thing on my mind was manners and I wasn't rude I was just isolated. if any one has basic human decency they would understand that car logistics and manners was the last thing on my mind.
• Their biggest complaint was entirely selfish: they claimed I left them "stranded with nothing to do," meaning they couldn't go see the fireworks and were forced to sit at the campsite.
• They insulted my maturity, stating that "this is how people act while pushing 18" and that *"the future is dim"*because of how I handled an emergency.I calmly explained my side, but they just kept arguing. Realizing they only cared about their vacation logistics and not my broken bone, I left the group chat. Now they are mad that I left the chat. Calling me immature for not wanting to talk.