r/AITAH_unfiltered

My fiancé "Josh" and I are getting married next summer. We've been casually planning a local wedding—I thought we were on the same page. Nothing huge, just a nice venue, 80 guests, good food, low stress.

Then last night, he came home with a huge grin and announced he planned a "surprise"—he booked a wedding package in Costa Rica. For next month. He said it's "romantic" and "adventurous" and we could just "elopement-style" it. Only him, me, and a photographer.

I stared at him. I said: "You booked a wedding in a different country in less than 30 days without telling me?" He said "it's a surprise! Isn't this exciting?"

No. It's not exciting. I want my family there. I want my mom to see me get married. I want my best friend by my side. I don't want a stranger taking photos on a beach while I cry happy tears alone with a guy who didn't even ask me what I wanted.

He said I'm "ungrateful" and "ruining the romance." He said I can "plan a reception later" and "it'll be fine." I told him I'm not getting married in Costa Rica next month. If he wants a courthouse wedding, fine. But I'm not having a wedding I didn't agree to in a country I didn't choose on a date I never okayed.

He's been sulking and telling our friends I "rejected his dream proposal." But what about MY dream? AITAH?

[removed]

Three years ago, I got married in my dream dress. It was simple, elegant, vintage-inspired — I saved for months and months to afford it. My sister "Claire" was my maid of honor. On the morning of my wedding, she looked at me in the full mirror and said: "Wow, it's so... plain. I thought you'd go with something more glamorous. But it's very... you, I guess."

She laughed. I didn't.

I wore the dress anyway. I had an amazing day. I put the dress in preservation and told myself I'd maybe pass it down to a daughter someday.

Now Claire is engaged. She called me last week and said: "I'm on a tight budget. Can I borrow your old dress? I'll just alter it — add some lace, maybe some sparkles, make it more interesting." She wanted to "upgrade" my "plain" dress for her "glamorous" wedding.

I told her no. I said I don't want my dress altered, and I don't want to lend it to someone who called it plain and boring on the day I wore it. I said if she wants a dress, she can find one in her budget.

She blew up. She said I'm "petty" and "holding a grudge over one comment." She said I should be "honored" she even wants to wear my dress. My mom says I'm being "unfair" and "it's just fabric."

It's not just fabric. It's my wedding dress. It's my memory. It's my day. I don't want it turned into "something more interesting." AITAH?

My wedding is in two weeks. We've been planning for 18 months. Everything is set — venue, catering, flowers, the whole thing. The rehearsal dinner is at a nice restaurant, just close family and the bridal party.

My brother "Jake" (30M) pulled me aside yesterday and said he has a "surprise" planned for the rehearsal dinner. He wants to propose to his girlfriend of two years. He said it would be "so special" to have the whole family there and "the energy would be perfect."

I told him absolutely not. This is MY wedding weekend. The rehearsal dinner is about us, not about him hijacking the moment for his own engagement. I said he can propose literally any other day — the day before, the day after, next week, whatever — but not at my wedding events.

He got defensive and said I'm being "selfish" and "controlling." He said "it's just a dinner" and "family should celebrate family." His girlfriend doesn't even know he's planning this, so he'd be putting her on the spot in front of 40 people too.

Our mom is now involved and says I should "let him have this moment" because "it would make the weekend more joyful for everyone." I said no. My wedding weekend is not his proposal stage.

He's telling everyone I'm "ruining his chance at a perfect proposal." But why does his perfect proposal require hijacking my wedding? AITAH?

I'm 46, never married, no kids. I have two siblings, Vivian (50) and June (40).

Vivian and Stan have a house and 4 kids (Jack, 29 married to Jill23 and just announced they're expecting, Allan26, Calvin23, Ruth20)

June and Justin have w kids (George9, Martha6)

Somehow, along the way, Viv and Stan taught their kids to do absolutely nothing around the house. Or around anybody else's house. When they're at my parents house, her kids will get up after the meal and not help clear the table, as though they have no concept of it. Btw, my BIL, who I detest, won't help clean up unless told to. When they'd show up for a weekend at my parents house, my father would carry in all of their luggage. I used to have to help, until one day I got mad and said, "Stan, if I have to carry in your bags, I'm going to leave." BIL had to do it himself that day, and it ruined his weekend. I write it off to Stan having a father who was a minister, and he grew up in a parsonage, so he never learned to clean or fix anything.

Let me add that my father had to do all of Stan/Viv home repair, because he didn't want them to have to pay someone to do it. Myt father couldn't do it all himself, so I had to help. Over a five year period I did over $10,000 worth of work on the house that I was never paid for. My BIL rewards me by being incredibly terse with us, to the point of rudeness and hostility. On holidays, if we gathered at their home, it was awful. Every time I'd try to speak to my father or mother, he'd bark "WHAT?" at me from across the table. He only stopped when I got fed up on night and barked back, "Stan, I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to my father, and if you yell "what" at me again I am going to leave and not come back." I gave both him and my sister a hard, cold stare.

The last time we were at their home, I spent money to get there, and when I arrived, my parents were unloading food from the car. My mother asked me to bring stuff in, and I said, "You can ask your grandchildren."

I went inside, nobody greeted me, so I went to find my sister. We were talking, and Martha walked up to me and said, "Uncle Jeff, Gram wants you outside." I told her to go ask why, and she came running back and said, "Gram says to get your butt outside and help bring in the bags." I said, "Go tell your grandmother that she has 6 lovely grandchildren who can help, not to mention her son in law, and they can learn to do for others."

Marth came back and said, "Gram says she want you to...." and before she could finish, I said, "Marth, you can go play outside, go have a good time." I, of course, did nothing. Somehow, my mother brought in everything.

Soon, Dad came in, moved his face inches from mine and tried to ask me if I said hello to Vivian. I politely said, "Get out of my face please." Then I added, "By the way, that's none of your business."

My BIL's elderly father showed up, and nobody would help him with his jacket or anything. My father pointed to him and said, "Jeff, go help him....." and I said, "Taking care of the host's father is a job for the host, or his children. Let them learn to do for others."

When it came time for lunch, my mother got too close, put her arm around me, and in a whisper, said, "Here sweety, you can sit next to me." I whispered back, "This is not your home," and sat where I liked. My nephew said, "Jill is sitting there" (she wasn't) and I said, "She can sit on that side of you." He looked like he didn't know what to do. Soon after, I switched seats with BIL's father, because they'd given him a folding chair that was unstable under his weight (trust them to ignore the old guy.)

Throughout the meal, my mother wretched and whined that I wasn't eating enough (I'm on a salt-free diet and have no need to tell anyone). She kept pointing out what I wasn't eating. Until I said, "Ma, do you need something to do?"

I was speaking to my nephew about his new job in a science lab, and my father, feeling left out, kept trying to interrupt and butt in, even though he couldn't follow the conversation. He's a very jealous man, and if he sees me getting attention, he demands I share it with him.

BIL's father wanted some ice, and his wife was getting tired, so I got up to get it. When I sat down again, Jill needed something, and my mother said, "Jeff, go get her the..."

I interrupted with, "She can get it herself."

My mother looked at me with a puzzled squint, and said, "Is something wrong."

"No," and I went back to talking to Allan.

Then she went, "What's wrong? Are you okay? You have a big chip on your shoulder."

I said, "Mother dear, God gave us such a beautiful day, let us rejoice. We should not be having argument and strife." I said it wis a big toothy smile.

"Don't give me that, you've been avoiding me all day, and every time I ask you to....."

"Mother, why ask me, when you have your grandchildren to help you. Look at Ruth, she'd such a big girl now, and I bet she'd love it if you asked her to pitch in."

We had a few more incidents of "No, that's a job for the host's children," and in the piece de resistance, I said, "No, if Jill needs help getting up, let Jack help. he can show everyone what a big boy he is. And by the way, after doing $10,000 worth of unpaid work on this home, I don't owe anyone here anything."

Btw, I don't know why my mother told me to help Jill get up, when she doesn't touch male non-relatives.

I ruined the lunch, and everyone left feeling unhappy.

Am I really a terrible guy?

(using a throwaway account and modified some details just in case).

I (26F) work for a small business (less than 10 people) and we are currently hiring to fill a position for a colleague who is leaving. My best friend (26F) of 11 years and godmother of my 2 year old daughter, Gina, applied to the job and seems excited about possibly working with me.

Gina has been out of steady work for a while due to family issues and has had a hard time finding a new job. I have worked at my job for 5 years now and love it there, it’s a great work environment and my boss (the owner) treats his staff really well. I care about Gina tons and I really do want her to find a good job like what I have. My boss does know that Gina is my friend and because we haven’t had many people apply he has already agreed to interview her. My boss also asked how I felt about working with Gina and I'm torn.

I love Gina, I know she has a good work ethic, and she would be a great fit for the position. I also know that working with friends almost never works out though, either it ruins the friendship, professional reputation, or both. We have worked together in the past and worked really well together (it’s how we met) but it was a totally different line of work and it was nearly 10 years ago. 

If she got the position we would be working very closely together, I would be training her and would basically be her boss. The work is very detail oriented and new hires tend to make a lot of mistakes, so I would be responsible for correcting her mistakes and reporting to the owner on how she’s doing. I’m worried about how working together could affect our friendship when I am suddenly in charge of her and have to correct her mistakes. But on the other hand it might be easier for me if we did hire her, because I know she wouldn’t take corrections/constructive criticism personally, and the new-hire’s first impression of me wouldn’t be me constantly correcting their work.

I know how much she needs a job, that she is exactly what we’re looking for, that we’re running out of time to find a replacement, and that Gina and I do work really well together, never fight, and we’re always on the same page. But Gina is my best friend and our friendship means everything to me so I would really hate to lose our friendship because of this. Gina has already promised me that there would be no hard feelings between us if she doesn’t get the job and I genuinely believe her.

I really really don’t want to put our friendship in jeopardy, so WIBTA if I asked my boss to not hire her?

Last month, I needed a shift covered for a family emergency. My coworker "Rachel" agreed to cover me. I thanked her and said I'd return the favor.

This week, she asked me to cover her shift. I said yes—until she told me it's a 12-hour overnight double, and she also wants me to cover her next two shifts after that "to make it even."

I said hold on. I owe you ONE shift. That was a standard 8-hour day shift. You're asking me to work three shifts—one overnight double and two days—total of 28 hours. That's not returning a favor. That's indentured servitude.

She said "time is time, and you owe me" and that I was "nickel-and-diming" favors. I told her I'll cover the 12-hour overnight but that's it. She called me "petty" and said she'll "never help me again."

Now our other coworkers are split. Some say I should just do it to "keep the peace." Others say she's clearly trying to exploit the situation.

I get that she helped me. I'm grateful. But I'm not working 28 extra hours for a favor that was 8 hours. AITAH?

I need to get this out.

My husband's family is very conservative. I've always known this. We've disagreed on politics for years, but I've always kept the peace. I've hosted them for holidays, bought thoughtful gifts, smiled through dinner conversations that made my blood boil.

Last month, a bill passed in our state that severely restricts abortion access. It's a law that directly affects my body. Every woman in my state. Every woman in my family. His family all voted for the people who pushed this through. They posted about it on Facebook, celebrating.

Thanksgiving is at our house this year. I'm supposed to cook a turkey and play hostess to people who actively voted to take away my healthcare choices. I told my husband I can't do it. I said I won't pretend to be okay with people who see my rights as negotiable.

He said I'm "bringing politics into the dinner table" and "ruining a family tradition." He said they're still his parents and his siblings and "politics shouldn't come between family."

I said it's not politics. It's my body. It's my safety. It's my life.

He's now telling me I'm being "divisive" and that he'll have to host alone or cancel. His family is starting to find out why I'm backing out. They're calling me "intolerant" and "unforgiving."

But I've been tolerant for years. I've smiled through everything. I just can't serve pie to people who don't think I should have the right to my own body. Am I really the asshole here?

I have two dogs, an older female Australian shepherd, who I’ll call P, and a two year old possible shepherd mix male, I’ll call C. I say possible because to be completely honest with you, we have no clue what breed he is.

He has short hair, German shepherd style coloring on his body, and face markings almost like a Rottweiler. He is pretty muscular looking but not bulky. I think the closest thing I can compare his build to is probably like a slim boxer. While I personally don’t think he’s a bully breed, he has a slightly boxy head shape that some people may think pitbull at a glance. Think Scrappy Doo but the same size as P. P is a standard Aussy Shepherd.

My husband and I are completely aware that he may look scary enough to strangers that don’t know him and we make sure he’s on his best behavior at all times. We have him on a harness and leash at all times and give people extra space when he’s with us. We do let people approach us to pet him and let them know that he’s friendly and a bit of a marshmallow but still kind of a puppy so he gets excited and sometimes loud. He does a growl-like noise when he gets excited that sounds a little scary at first but all the body language is positive and he chills out once he gets to meet the person or dog.

C also LOVES other dogs and he matches their energy. He’s gentle and soft with small puppies but he can play as rough as the bigger dogs want to play. P, on the other hand, absolutely despises other dogs and would rather hang out with people. To put it short, she’s a bitch. She will refuse to interact with other dogs except C and will growl, snarl, and show negative body language with any other dogs in her space. She’s not aggressive but girl has her boundaries and I let her establish and reinforce them.

So the other day, I take P and C to their regular dog park which has two separate fenced areas and parking very close to the fence. There was a woman in one fenced area with her two dogs. My dogs see hers and start getting really excited. I get out of my car, leaving my dogs in my car, and walk over to meet her at the fence. We start talking and I ask her if she’d be open to our dogs sniffing through the fence and possibly playing together. I make sure to tell her no hard feelings if she or her dogs aren’t comfortable and I can just take my dogs to the other fenced area. She said she’s fine with it and tells me one of her dogs loves other dogs but her other dog, who was a full pitbull, was iffy but that she was trying to socialize her. I let her know about C’s growl when he gets excited but that he’s very friendly once he gets to meet them and she was understanding.

I went to go get P and C from the car and bring them on leash to the fence. While it was loud from all the barking from both sides, all of the body language was good. Tails were wagging from both sides, tongues were hanging out, and everyone was sniffing each other and introducing themselves. P was the only one not super enthusiastic but she was receptive while still kind of hanging back by me. I’ve done this method with other dog owners I’ve met at this park and it’s gone great. Every once in a while, it doesn’t work out. Sometimes their dogs don’t feel it, mine don’t, or an owner has told me that their dog wasn’t friendly and I just take my dogs to the other fence with no hard feelings and not usually a big deal.

I thought this was one of those times that was going really well and I ask her if she thinks it’d be ok for me to bring them in. She frowned and said she didn’t think so and would appreciate if I took them to the other area. I said “are you sure? They seem to be getting along pretty well. I can still take them if you don’t think it’s a good idea though.” She said “maybe with that one(pointing at P) but not your boy. Sorry, but I have to think about my dogs safety.” I wasn’t gonna argue with her about it but her reasoning didn’t make sense to me. As promised though, I said “ok I understand. I’m sorry it didn’t work out though,” and started to walk my dogs to the other fence.

C was bummed but ended up being fine once he got to chase some squirrels in the other area. Her pitbull kept running up and down the fence watching C and barking. I felt so bad, the poor baby just wanted to play but I had to respect her mom’s wishes. She kept yelling at her pitbull to stop barking, chill out, and stay away from the fence. There’s a wide walkway between each area so the fences aren’t touching or even close. I’d say the space was about the width of a two lane street.

P pooped a few minutes later by the gate of our area and while I was picking it up, the woman was walking her dogs to her truck. She put her dogs in the truck and walked back over to my part of the fence. She said she didn’t understand why I couldn’t let P play with her dogs because they seemed to be getting along and her dogs were just so sad they couldn’t play with P. I told her that P didn’t like other dogs and wouldn’t play with them but that C was the one that loves other dogs and they’d have a great time. I told her we’d be open to try again if we ran into them at the park again in the future since they were about to leave.

She then started to spout a bunch of nonsense about how I could’ve let P in their fence to play while I took C to the other fence by himself since he was “such an aggressive and mean breed.” I told her that 1) she wouldn’t get what she wanted with P because P would not socialize with her dogs, 2) my dogs stay together, 3) she’s a stranger to me and my dogs and I wasn’t going to leave my dog in another area separated from me and my other dog, and 4) C had never had any issues with anyone ever. She said that he looks like he’s a pitbull and that not only would she not want to risk it with male aggression that she was afraid of his lock jaw. I said “ma’am isn’t your dog a full pitbull and bigger than both of mine? I didn’t project anything onto your dog, please don’t project anything onto mine.” She got even more frustrated and said yes but she knew her dog and that her dog wouldn’t be an issue. I said I understood that she felt that way but she said her dog was iffy with other dogs and she said no and that was why I took both of my dogs to the other area. She said “I don’t understand why you would bring your dogs to a dog park if one is aggressive and one is antisocial. Thanks for ruining our morning, bitch.” I asked how we ruined her morning. She refused to answer and she went back to her truck and drove away.

I told my husband about this later and he doesn’t think I did anything wrong other than wasting my breath arguing with an ignorant person. Maybe I should’ve just taken my dogs home but they didn’t do anything wrong. I’m aware that C looks aggressive and that P is not the most social but they have every right to go to the park too. AITAH?

My sister is 8 months pregnant and asked me months ago to be her birthing partner. I was honored. I cleared my schedule, read books on childbirth, took a class on how to support her. I was all in.

Last week, we were having lunch and she started talking about the delivery photos she wants to take right after birth — skin-to-skin, first family moments, all of it. She said she's hiring a professional photographer for the delivery room.

Then she said: "I'll need to make sure you stand behind the camera, not in any shots. You have a really unflattering face and I don't want to look back at my birth photos and see you ruining them."

I just stared at her. She said it completely casually, like she was commenting on the weather. I asked her: "Did you just call me too ugly to be in your photos?" She said "I'm just being honest. You know you're not photogenic. It's not personal."

I told her I'm no longer her birthing partner. If I'm too ugly to be in her photos, I'm too ugly to hold her hand while she pushes a baby out of her body. She laughed and said I was being "ridiculously oversensitive." She later texted me an apology that said "I'm sorry you were offended."

Our mom is now begging me to "just get over it" because she "needs support." But why is it my job to support someone who just told me my face would ruin her perfect memory? AITAH?

So there is this gal in my room that I met today saying she needed a place to spend the cus she has no where to go, she is currently sleeping but my instincts are telling me not to trust her and sleep but rather stay guard and see what can go wrong

Did I do a good deeds or I will regret it

AITA? My boyfriend suddenly pulled his phone away after we’ve always had an open-phone policy and now I’m convinced it’s either a ring or something terrible
Okay, I genuinely need outside opinions because I am SO confused right now.
My boyfriend (26, turning 27) and I have always had an open-phone policy. We know each other’s passwords, can grab each other’s phones, and look at them whenever. It has never really been an issue. There’s no “don’t touch my phone” rule in our relationship.
So the other day, I went to grab his phone like I normally would… and he pulled it away from me.
Like… HARD.
And then somehow we ended up having a literal 5–10 minute wrestling match over his phone. 😭
Obviously, my brain immediately went to the worst possible place.
We live with roommates who are also really good friends of ours, so they heard us arguing and one of them came into the room. I explained what happened and asked him what he thought.
He basically said a whole lot of nothing at first, and then randomly goes:
“What if he was texting his mom about a ring?”
AND MY BOYFRIEND IMMEDIATELY GOES:
“I can never keep a secret from her.”
EXCUSE ME?????
Now I’m sitting here thinking IS IT A RING??? IS HE HIDING SOMETHING??? DID I JUST WITNESS THE MOST SUSPICIOUS THING EVER???
For context, he has never cheated on me and I genuinely don’t think he would. I don’t have any other reason to believe he’s cheating.
But now I can’t stop thinking about it.
I’m 20, turning 21, and he’s 26, turning 27. I’m still in college, and I’ve always told him that I don’t want to get married until after I graduate.
So obviously, the thought that he could secretly be talking to his mom about a ring has me freaking out a little.
I asked him why he pulled away and why he wouldn’t let me have his phone.
His explanation was basically that he should have communicated better and that he just wanted his phone in that moment. He said there wasn’t anything bad going on.
And honestly… I can understand that. Even if you have an open-phone relationship, I guess someone can still have a moment where they’re like “I just want my phone right now.”
BUT THEN WHY DID WE HAVE A 10-MINUTE WRESTLING MATCH OVER IT?! 😭😭
And now my roommate has planted the idea of a ring in my head and I can’t stop thinking about it.

ERM HAI so i’m really sad about this and it’s been weighing on me for a really long time and i have nobody else to talk about this to. my whole life i’ve grown up chopped and i’ve turned into like an alt attractive person and i’ve grown a pretty decent following on tiktok and instagram and it feels like my friend hates me for that. here r my reasons why.
one- she always downplays whatever i say and she honestly doesn’t care at all about me. i came to her party and i was like HAPPY BIRTHDAAAAAYYYYYYY and the crowd went MILD!!!!! like okay mid off i guess and she didn’t even appreciate the gift i gave her and it was $50+ and i work hard for my money
she’s really uptight about money but when it comes to ME paying for things she’s a free spender. she always complains she’s BROKE but when i order something for myself she always orders something and now EXPECTS me to pay for it. she didn’t even appreciate the thing i bought for her and i asked for the money back because like i paid for you SO YOU COULD ENJOY THE SNACK WITH ME? $10 is still a lot of money in this economy ESPECIALLY TO A HIGHSCHOOL GIRL? if you’re not gonna enjoy it and call the snack MID i want my money back… it’s not even about the money even though i work super hard for it. i just feel sad that she doesn’t appreciate the things i do for her but for the friends that don’t do anything she treats them so nicely compared to me. other friends have noticed that she’s so mean to me and i’m honestly trying to not build animosity because she’s still my friend.
three- she always throws me aside when somebody else she likes better comes into the picture. like how do i even explain… she’ll throw me aside for the guy friend THAT I INTRODUCED TO HER!!!! me and the guy are COMPLETELY platonic even though he had feelings for me way back in the first semester and for a pretty decent amount of time. i never liked him romantically because no that’s WEIRD and we’re still friends today! and she only talks about her ex that she just can’t let go of. i’ve told her to heal but it’s all she can talk about. there’s rarely a time i get to talk about myself. i mean I AM INTROVERTED but when it comes to being a shoulder to cry on all the time i’m a bit tired. i have things of my own that i worry about. and she only uses me for rides. it feels like she hates me but can’t let me go for money reasons. she always asks me for money and she’ll treat me SO NICELY before she asks me to buy something for her and then she’ll be so rude if i say NO. my money is my money and she never pays for like ANYTHING? if i’m well off and she’s not it feels like she feels allowed to take things from me because i have a j\*b and she doesn’t and I WORK FOR MY OWN MONEY?
four- she only tags me in her posts because i have a really nice following and she gets likes from being on my page. i don’t mind sharing my clout because it’s not much and i love my friends but it feels like she’s using me for it. and it feels like she shadow bans my account because she wants to grow her own following too. i give her tips on how to grow it, and she beats me down. she explicitly said that she LOVES how i have a large following so she can collaborate her own posts on my own account. i love sharing with my friends because i’m well off and ive worked MY BUTT OFF for this following. i love fashion and i love sharing my wealth and “fame” with my friends. but it feels awful because i’m just simply a middle class girl.
there’s so many things but these are just on the surface. it hurts to say this about my friend that i made pretty early when i just freshly transferred. she didn’t really introduce me to my whole friend group, because it’s mostly the other way around. i built my whole friend group by myself and i’ve brought her around with me. but it feels like if she says something bad about me she’ll throw me under the bus and blame it on me being PRISSY AND SNOBBY. i’ve grown up HUMBLE BECAUSE I WAS CHOPPED AF BEFORE!!!!

​

I've been married to my wife for 5 years, and we been dating since middle school. I've known her siblings for a very long time. a family issue arose where her father was having a much younger female friend tag long on their visit to SIL (most of their family assumed affair, or atleast it was very bad taste in company), she ended up having an argument with this woman.

Flash forward and this woman is actually now renting the basement of her fathers main house and lives there. So now when my SIL comes to visit her family she doesnt want to room at her parents place because she doesnt want to see this extra woman. They have her old room still free for her, and all her siblings still live there too. Only my wife has moved out (with me) SO to avoid her discomfort she always just wants to room with us. we had a whole floor free in the past which she has stayed twice before but she does not actually like me much - and often ignores me. So she isnt my favorite person to say the least BUT I dont really mind that part. she has a HUGE fascination for my son who is 3, and identifies as the FUN AUNT. she wants to take him places, always wants to hug him and get his attention. Mostly kid stuff i know however.. i have a history of SA from when I was very young (age 3-4) and it was by a half sister. My wife is aware of this and its popped up very few times in our relationship. My SIL's strong affection to my son has always made me feel uncomfortable. I know its mostly my own brain making connections however its very VERY pervasive and I cannot shake it. its like alarm bells screaming in my heart causing me to panic when I know logically there is no true danger. I probably would benefit from therapy specifically for this however I do NOT have these emotions at all with anyone else and only towards my SIL when she's around my son.

Well the free floor in our basement will soon be taken by my own parents by the time her next visit comes around... so now my wife was wanted to just have my SIL be in a room directly beside my sons room. and she would be staying several nights.

Immediately my panic sets in because this seems to place her in a much closer proximity to my son through the night where he would be "vulnerable" and I would be unaware in my own room. I must emphasize there is no danger with my SIL in this regard, its purely my own emotions that I cannot overcome.

i asked my wife can't her sister just stay at her parents since they still have her old room... but apparently her sister prefers our house because of her own discomfort with the woman her father is "friends" with - and then proceeded to say that it isnt fair that her own family can't stay at our house and my parents are moving into the basement.(my parents moving in has been a committed thing in our relationship since we moved in together 6 years ago).

So I ask, AITA for asking my wife to have her sister stay at her parents house instead of with us for her visit?

Hello! I am a teacher and as some of you know there has been a massive heatwave going through Florida right now (the state I work in). I will say this: our school is crappy. The AC doesn't work in most of the buildings (including mine), and it is just beyond miserable. The students hate it, the other teachers hate it, and I for sure hate it.

We were given the choice by administration to move our students to 3 locations: the cafeteria, the library, or the gymnasium. Today, my class was about 84 degrees by the end of the day, so very warm. I teach APUSH and AP World History, so my students' brains have to be turned on, which is hard in the heat.

Today, despite it only being the 2nd week of school, I already had 8 kids absent from my class of 23 during my 7th period, which is when it's the hottest. Some of my students kept asking me if we could go to the places they were offering to us, but I said no. A lot of them said that they had been down there the whole day, and it felt awesome. I still said no.

I finally had enough of everyone asking me, and I said no for what seemed like the millionth time. I don't have any way of knowing if there are desks, how many students and teachers there are, plus this is an AP class. The kids have work to do, heat or not. I was smart enough to bring 2 fans for my classroom, which is better than nothing. But the fans still don't do much.

I told my kids that the administration gave us a choice, but it would most likely be hotter in those designated rooms because of all the bodies and the body heat they would be producing. I was sweating a bit since I was in jeans, and I hated it.

I took my students on multiple walks around outside since there was kind of a breeze, so they weren't stuck inside the classroom. I've done this with all my periods, but 7th period had the most complaining. My colleagues said I was making the wrong choice for my kids, but I reiterated to them that we as the teachers had the choice.

None of us are expecting the AC to work tomorrow, and I'm still conflicted as to what I should do about this situation. AITAH, and WIBTAH if I kept the kids in the same room?

My twin sister (25F) and I (25M) are currently on a two week vacation together where we’re traveling through a couple of different countries. We’re really close, and we specifically planned this as a siblings trip where we’d explore, go out, eat, and do different things together.

A couple nights ago, we were out when some guy approached my sister, told her she was cute, and asked for her number. She thought he was really cute too, so they exchanged numbers.

Later, she asked me if I’d be okay with her leaving with him. She’s 25 and obviously doesn’t need my permission, so I told her I had no issue with it. I ended up doing the rest of what we’d planned that night by myself.

She didn’t come back to our hotel until late afternoon the next day. I wasn’t angry at her for hooking up with someone or anything like that. She’s an adult and can do whatever she wants. But something about being left alone in the middle of what was specifically supposed to be our siblings trip sort of changed how I felt about the vacation.

I told her I think I’d rather spend the rest of the trip doing my own thing. I’ve started looking up completely different places and activities that I want to do by myself. I told her she’s still completely free to do everything we’d originally planned, but I’m going to make my own itinerary and enjoy the rest of my vacation separately. I’ve already gone to a few things alone and I enjoyed it a lot.

She took this really badly. She’s cried a lot and apologized repeatedly. She said she made a mistake and wants us to continue the trip together like we’d planned.

I told her I’m not trying to punish her. But it’s my vacation too, and after spending that night and most of the next day alone, I realized I actually wouldn’t mind doing my own thing for the rest of it.

She keeps saying this was supposed to be our trip together and that she’s sorry for messing up one night. I understand where she’s coming from, but at the same time, that was exactly how I felt when she chose to disappear with someone she’d just met.

I don’t want her sitting in the hotel miserable or anything. She can still go out, meet people, do our original plans alone, or make new ones. I just don’t really feel like continuing the vacation together anymore.

Am I wrong for turning our siblings trip into two separate vacations because of this?

This guys family sucks ass it’s his grandmas 80th which no one said until I put up the Facebook thing, it’s the same day as baby shower I found out I was pregnant in April and in may I took 31st of oct off because its a salon and it’s Christmas time and work will be messed up previous years I was doing 14hr days for 6 days a week from November to February and I didn’t want to do it earlier because November I can wash and pack stuff and get whatever we don’t have so I picked 12-2:30/3 because her birthday is at 6pm so like yah know got a whole day But none of them talked to us to find out what we were doing And when I told them I was pregnant they were happy and was like I’ll help you plan a baby shower Ain’t heard nothing from them still to this day it being August now so I decided to do it and organise it myself and now I’m the bad guy. If you talked to me and checked in I would’ve organised it better but no they don’t talk to us only when they want something I know it sucks being on her birthday but surely they can spare an hour or so before they have their party
It’s also making me not want to go to the birthday because they can’t do 2 events in 1 day why should i

Throwaway account so personal details have been changed.

I (32F) posted a series of photos on my Instagram story from a recent vacation to Fiji that I took with my son (10M). I’m not typically the type of person to post pictures or stories during the vacation, I usually do “photo dumps” once I’m done with the trip. Well during one of my “dumps” one of the pictures I posted was of a native Fijian man performing a traditional torch‑lighting ceremony. It was part of a cultural event, and the man was wearing traditional attire which includes being shirtless, a grass skirt. To me, it wasn’t sexual, flirty, or suggestive. It was just a cool cultural moment of him standing with a flaming torch, in front of the sunset.

My boyfriend (37M) saw it and immediately got upset. He texted me saying the post was “crazy,” and that I shouldn’t be posting “a shirtless man on your story while you have a boyfriend” and that he was “so proud to be my boyfriend, fucking disgusting” -his exact words. Boyfriend stated that it was disrespectful to him, and that we should “take some space.” He said it was inappropriate and embarrassing, and that he was glad his family didn’t follow me because he’d “be fucking embarrassed.”

I tried explaining the cultural context, but he wouldn’t listen to what I had to say. Eventually I told him I understood he was upset and would give him space.

Now I’m wondering if I genuinely messed up. From my perspective, it was just a cultural photo. From his perspective, it was disrespectful.

So… AITAH for posting a picture like that while being in a relationship?

I've been with my boyfriend "Ryan" for two years. He's a good guy in a lot of ways — kind, funny, thoughtful. But there's one thing that keeps coming up: my sexual history. Before him, I had a few relationships, I was in my 20s, I did what people do. I'm not ashamed of it, but I'm not going to put it on a résumé either.

Ryan knew all of this before we got serious. He said he was fine with it. But about six months in, he started asking me questions — "how many people?" "was he better than me?" "did you do that with him?" — in moments that felt like casual conversation but always turned into a weird, tense interrogation.

I've told him multiple times that I won't discuss it anymore. I've asked him to stop. I've told him it's in the past and it doesn't matter.

Last week, I got home from work and he was sitting on the couch, phone in hand, with a photo of one of my exes. He'd apparently gone through my old social media tags from like 10 years ago. He started asking questions again. I calmly said "I'm not doing this" and went into the bedroom. He followed me.

That night while he slept, I packed a bag. I left. I'm staying with a friend.

He's been blowing up my phone — "how could you just leave?" "you're being dramatic" "I was just trying to understand you." I told him I'm done being interrogated about things that happened before he even existed.

His friends are saying I ghosted him over "nothing." My friends say I did the right thing. I'm conflicted. AITAH?

Me (49f) Im going thru a divorce i just moved into my new house with my 2 daughters and after 2 months of living here my daughter (18f) wanted her bf (20m)to come stay for a month, i said that was too long and he can stay for 2 weeks but she threw a fit and i gave in. Day 3 of him being here I had a conversation about money since I’m living on little income and money is tight….

I said “I’m on the struggle bus and you’re another mouth to feed and I don’t want you to take advantage of me and I don’t wanna take advantage of you” so he said “sure how much money do you want me to pay?” And I said “whatever you think is fair” and he said “okay how about $10 or $5 a plate” and I said “you think $5 is enough” and he said “if you’re making home cooked meals that should be plenty?” And I said “I’m gonna have to think about that, I don’t think that’s gonna cut it” Well the conversation ended and I guess they heard me get upset when they closed the door and my other daughters were on the phone and said I was being rude so I just said forget about it I’ll just make cheaper meals and now there’s been tension every since

A week and a half pass and I go upstairs and the doors shut and locked I knock and open the door and I said to both my daughter and her bf “i asked y’all to keep the door open and that’s a rule I set in my home” and he said “sure okay” well i go back up there days later and the door is shut again and he opens it walking out, and at this point I’m pissed off I say “why is the door shut? Didn’t I say leave it open, why do y’all think y’all don’t have to listen to me?” And there’s all kinds of excuses on why it was shut I say “at your mom’s house do you get to shut the door?” And he says “yes my mom has a level of trust with me so it’s not a problem” and i say “well in my home this is what i expect”

Also a little context he’s been going into my daughter‘s room at 4:50AM to work in there on the computer when in the guest room he’s staying at. It’s small but has a office space

I say “also I think it’s a little creepy that you go into my daughters room at 4am while she’s sleeping” and he says “how’s that creepy” and I said “well you can sit in there and watch her sleep I don’t know” and he laughs

Later that day I go to my other daughters house and they think I’m being rude as hell and they say I need to break the tension and be an adult and have a conversation with them about boundaries etc. they told me he’s been scared to eat and have been feeling uncomfortable, so I go back later that evening to have the conversation

My daughter already has an attitude from earlier and I tell them to come downstairs I want to have a conversation with both of them. He asks “what for?” And I say “well I want y’all to sit down and talk to you both….what’s the issue and why do y’all have a problem?” my daughter continues to tell me about how I’ve been making faces and been passive aggressive and been rude about the money situation. I say “ well I had a conversation with you before he came down about the money and she said no I didn’t, which I did.” He says “ well why couldn’t you have a conversation with me and when we did have a conversation we never came up with a price, how much did you expect me to pay?” And I said “ I think $100-$120 a week” since he’s eating my food and washing clothes and taking showers and staying at my home using my wifi for his job… he says “ he don’t even spend that much on himself regularly when he’s at home” I said “I know you don’t” because I know he’s very cheap

(Also he said he spent $200 on DoorDash supposedly)

he continues to say “ I think from now on I’ll just buy my own groceries and make my own food if you could just take me to Aldi‘s since I don’t have my car with me” and I said “ no I’m not doing that because that’s separate food in my fridge and I work in my kitchen and it’s small already” and I continue to say “ i’m not even concerned about the money at this point it’s the disrespect with closing the door” and he says I’m gonna go get a glass of water my throat’s dry and comes back into the room and turns my ceiling fan off, and I say “ that was on for a reason why’d you turn that off” he says “ I was cold” (he’s usually walking around in a blanket so that just ticked me off) I say “ OK let’s turn off the fan because he’s cold ” and my daughter says “ Okay I’m not talking anymore” and they both go upstairs

Now my other daughters are telling me I’m being rude which I may be rude because I’m already annoyed, but I don’t see that I’m in the wrong… what do y’all think? AITA because I don’t think so…I think he’s the Now my other daughters are telling me I’m being rude which I may be rude because I’m already annoyed, but I don’t see that I’m in the wrong… what do y’all think? AITA I think he’s the problem because he’s disrespectful and thinks he could do whatever he wants in my home

Edit : he’s not living with us / moving in he just came to visit my daughter

He makes $24 an hour and has a remote job and is very strict with his money. He literally has an app that he puts every dollar he spends on it to track it. Including everything he spends on my daughter in a separate folder

I think he’s been very cheap and I feel like he’s controlling with his money