AITAH for bringing my dogs to the dog park and “ruining” someone’s morning?
I have two dogs, an older female Australian shepherd, who I’ll call P, and a two year old possible shepherd mix male, I’ll call C. I say possible because to be completely honest with you, we have no clue what breed he is.
He has short hair, German shepherd style coloring on his body, and face markings almost like a Rottweiler. He is pretty muscular looking but not bulky. I think the closest thing I can compare his build to is probably like a slim boxer. While I personally don’t think he’s a bully breed, he has a slightly boxy head shape that some people may think pitbull at a glance. Think Scrappy Doo but the same size as P. P is a standard Aussy Shepherd.
My husband and I are completely aware that he may look scary enough to strangers that don’t know him and we make sure he’s on his best behavior at all times. We have him on a harness and leash at all times and give people extra space when he’s with us. We do let people approach us to pet him and let them know that he’s friendly and a bit of a marshmallow but still kind of a puppy so he gets excited and sometimes loud. He does a growl-like noise when he gets excited that sounds a little scary at first but all the body language is positive and he chills out once he gets to meet the person or dog.
C also LOVES other dogs and he matches their energy. He’s gentle and soft with small puppies but he can play as rough as the bigger dogs want to play. P, on the other hand, absolutely despises other dogs and would rather hang out with people. To put it short, she’s a bitch. She will refuse to interact with other dogs except C and will growl, snarl, and show negative body language with any other dogs in her space. She’s not aggressive but girl has her boundaries and I let her establish and reinforce them.
So the other day, I take P and C to their regular dog park which has two separate fenced areas and parking very close to the fence. There was a woman in one fenced area with her two dogs. My dogs see hers and start getting really excited. I get out of my car, leaving my dogs in my car, and walk over to meet her at the fence. We start talking and I ask her if she’d be open to our dogs sniffing through the fence and possibly playing together. I make sure to tell her no hard feelings if she or her dogs aren’t comfortable and I can just take my dogs to the other fenced area. She said she’s fine with it and tells me one of her dogs loves other dogs but her other dog, who was a full pitbull, was iffy but that she was trying to socialize her. I let her know about C’s growl when he gets excited but that he’s very friendly once he gets to meet them and she was understanding.
I went to go get P and C from the car and bring them on leash to the fence. While it was loud from all the barking from both sides, all of the body language was good. Tails were wagging from both sides, tongues were hanging out, and everyone was sniffing each other and introducing themselves. P was the only one not super enthusiastic but she was receptive while still kind of hanging back by me. I’ve done this method with other dog owners I’ve met at this park and it’s gone great. Every once in a while, it doesn’t work out. Sometimes their dogs don’t feel it, mine don’t, or an owner has told me that their dog wasn’t friendly and I just take my dogs to the other fence with no hard feelings and not usually a big deal.
I thought this was one of those times that was going really well and I ask her if she thinks it’d be ok for me to bring them in. She frowned and said she didn’t think so and would appreciate if I took them to the other area. I said “are you sure? They seem to be getting along pretty well. I can still take them if you don’t think it’s a good idea though.” She said “maybe with that one(pointing at P) but not your boy. Sorry, but I have to think about my dogs safety.” I wasn’t gonna argue with her about it but her reasoning didn’t make sense to me. As promised though, I said “ok I understand. I’m sorry it didn’t work out though,” and started to walk my dogs to the other fence.
C was bummed but ended up being fine once he got to chase some squirrels in the other area. Her pitbull kept running up and down the fence watching C and barking. I felt so bad, the poor baby just wanted to play but I had to respect her mom’s wishes. She kept yelling at her pitbull to stop barking, chill out, and stay away from the fence. There’s a wide walkway between each area so the fences aren’t touching or even close. I’d say the space was about the width of a two lane street.
P pooped a few minutes later by the gate of our area and while I was picking it up, the woman was walking her dogs to her truck. She put her dogs in the truck and walked back over to my part of the fence. She said she didn’t understand why I couldn’t let P play with her dogs because they seemed to be getting along and her dogs were just so sad they couldn’t play with P. I told her that P didn’t like other dogs and wouldn’t play with them but that C was the one that loves other dogs and they’d have a great time. I told her we’d be open to try again if we ran into them at the park again in the future since they were about to leave.
She then started to spout a bunch of nonsense about how I could’ve let P in their fence to play while I took C to the other fence by himself since he was “such an aggressive and mean breed.” I told her that 1) she wouldn’t get what she wanted with P because P would not socialize with her dogs, 2) my dogs stay together, 3) she’s a stranger to me and my dogs and I wasn’t going to leave my dog in another area separated from me and my other dog, and 4) C had never had any issues with anyone ever. She said that he looks like he’s a pitbull and that not only would she not want to risk it with male aggression that she was afraid of his lock jaw. I said “ma’am isn’t your dog a full pitbull and bigger than both of mine? I didn’t project anything onto your dog, please don’t project anything onto mine.” She got even more frustrated and said yes but she knew her dog and that her dog wouldn’t be an issue. I said I understood that she felt that way but she said her dog was iffy with other dogs and she said no and that was why I took both of my dogs to the other area. She said “I don’t understand why you would bring your dogs to a dog park if one is aggressive and one is antisocial. Thanks for ruining our morning, bitch.” I asked how we ruined her morning. She refused to answer and she went back to her truck and drove away.
I told my husband about this later and he doesn’t think I did anything wrong other than wasting my breath arguing with an ignorant person. Maybe I should’ve just taken my dogs home but they didn’t do anything wrong. I’m aware that C looks aggressive and that P is not the most social but they have every right to go to the park too. AITAH?