AITA for not wanting my SIL to stay at our house for a visit?
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I've been married to my wife for 5 years, and we been dating since middle school. I've known her siblings for a very long time. a family issue arose where her father was having a much younger female friend tag long on their visit to SIL (most of their family assumed affair, or atleast it was very bad taste in company), she ended up having an argument with this woman.
Flash forward and this woman is actually now renting the basement of her fathers main house and lives there. So now when my SIL comes to visit her family she doesnt want to room at her parents place because she doesnt want to see this extra woman. They have her old room still free for her, and all her siblings still live there too. Only my wife has moved out (with me) SO to avoid her discomfort she always just wants to room with us. we had a whole floor free in the past which she has stayed twice before but she does not actually like me much - and often ignores me. So she isnt my favorite person to say the least BUT I dont really mind that part. she has a HUGE fascination for my son who is 3, and identifies as the FUN AUNT. she wants to take him places, always wants to hug him and get his attention. Mostly kid stuff i know however.. i have a history of SA from when I was very young (age 3-4) and it was by a half sister. My wife is aware of this and its popped up very few times in our relationship. My SIL's strong affection to my son has always made me feel uncomfortable. I know its mostly my own brain making connections however its very VERY pervasive and I cannot shake it. its like alarm bells screaming in my heart causing me to panic when I know logically there is no true danger. I probably would benefit from therapy specifically for this however I do NOT have these emotions at all with anyone else and only towards my SIL when she's around my son.
Well the free floor in our basement will soon be taken by my own parents by the time her next visit comes around... so now my wife was wanted to just have my SIL be in a room directly beside my sons room. and she would be staying several nights.
Immediately my panic sets in because this seems to place her in a much closer proximity to my son through the night where he would be "vulnerable" and I would be unaware in my own room. I must emphasize there is no danger with my SIL in this regard, its purely my own emotions that I cannot overcome.
i asked my wife can't her sister just stay at her parents since they still have her old room... but apparently her sister prefers our house because of her own discomfort with the woman her father is "friends" with - and then proceeded to say that it isnt fair that her own family can't stay at our house and my parents are moving into the basement.(my parents moving in has been a committed thing in our relationship since we moved in together 6 years ago).
So I ask, AITA for asking my wife to have her sister stay at her parents house instead of with us for her visit?