AITBA for Asking my Father to Either Return what he Stole from me or Pay me Back?
I, 21 F, visit my dad for a weekend every month. Some useful context for later is that I was severely verbally abused by my father, who screamed at me over everything despite my SPD (sensory processing disorder) diagnosis which makes loud noises basically torture for me. This abuse has led me to have an extreme fear of confronting my dad about anything, even little things, and tend to stand up for myself via text to cope with it. I still visit, not for my dad and stepmom, but for my stepmom’s family who has been nothing but loving since I entered their lives as a baby. I still have my childhood room for when I visit, and have some sentimental items from my childhood, along with scrapbooks, some plushies and other items I purchased myself with birthday money all in my tiny room there. One such item is an alarm clock. The clock is also a small mirror, which I will admit was the main reason of use, due to it being incredibly difficult to manually change for daylights saving time- so the alarm clock feature was basically useless half the year.
I’ve had that clock for 5 years. I bought it with a gift card I was gifted for my birthday. It cost around 17 dollars at the time (it isn’t as expensive anymore I will admit).
Here’s where the issue starts. I was just on vacation last week with my dad’s family. I happened to overhear my sister (8F) talking excitedly about her new alarm clock for school. In my head I thought “ok, maybe they bought her one for school because she needs to get up earlier for the bus this year”. But as the days go on and she describes it more and more, my heart sank. It was my clock. She described it perfectly… there was hardly and doubt. I was crushed, but kept it to myself the entire vacation to not ruin it for everyone. When we got home, I peeked in her room, and sure enough, it was on her dresser. MY clock.
Here’s where I might be the bad apple. I got so angry that I grabbed a bunch of the stuff there, sentimental items such as:
-a stuffed owl given to me by my late grandmother the last time she visited before passing
-a photo frame of me as a baby with my late cat Wicca who died when I was 13
-a full scrapbook with photos I cannot replace
-a pair of slippers I have owned since before my dad moved from the house I grew up in from infancy to age 12
-my Polaroid camera and the matching leather scrapbook with all my photos I took with it (also bought with my money from Christmas)
I tried hard to take things that were, 1- sentimental and important, and 2- not things bought directly by my father or stepmom so they couldn’t claim the “we bought it” card. Then I went home to the apartment I share with my mom and waited until the next day when I was calmer to send my dad a long message explaining why I was angry and asking either for the clock back in my room or the $17 reimbursed to me.
A part of me feels I’m the bad apple just for demanding he return it after he gave it to my sister. But I spent my own money on that and it was basically stolen from me. So am I the bad apple for demanding return or reimbursement?
(This post was edited after some points were made in some comments. Context was added/ removed to make more sense. Thank you for all the comments- both good and bad! Criticism is always welcomed respectfully)