r/RomanticAdvice

I’ve been talking to this guy who’s 19M turning 20. I’m 16F, but my birthday is late so I consider myself kinda between 16-17ish. I work around adults and have had older friends, so I consider myself mature. To be honest, idk if he realises I’m 16 because I told him I’m 09 and he asked if I graduated high school, which I am next year. I don’t know if this is weird, he’s really nice and doesn’t seem overly sexual or weird towards me. Hasn’t told me I act older or anything like that either. We’ve already established boundaries and what we both want in a relationship, some of which I prompted first to make sure he wasn’t just going with what I said, which went well. Overall, he seems to be a nice guy and I know for a fact he’s 19 (we went to the same high school) so I know he’s not lying about it because I’m 16. I’ve also heard this is a maturity difference issue, but if guys mature later anyways I don’t think it’s too bad? I want advice on this and how I should handle it.

EDIT: I’ve never been liked/dated a guy before but he doesn’t know that. All he knows is I haven’t kissed anyone or slept w anyone and he hasn’t either lol so idk now

I’m in my early 40’s(M). My boyfriend (late 30’s) and I were at an ice cream shop the other night and when we got in I asked if he wanted to go first, he said no. Two different shop people spoke to me, one a woman in her 20’s, another in his 20’s. When the woman asked, I wasn’t ready yet. When the guy asked I still wasn’t ready, but I asked him “what are 2-3 flavors that you like here?” He gave me some suggestions, I picked one of his suggestions and another that I was eyeing. My boyfriend then picked his ice cream. I paid for both and we sat outside and ate the ice cream.

While eating the ice cream I remembered a story about my dad who passed away years ago. My dad grew up in a location and time where he wasn’t allowed to buy vanilla ice cream, because- racism. While I was telling this story to my boyfriend he looked like he was somewhere else. My boyfriend is not a white person, but we are from different racial backgrounds. He usually doesn’t shy away from hard stories about race/racism. And certainly not about grief. I felt kind of alone in my sharing and just tried finishing my ice cream. He finished before me and said he’d wait in the car.

We get in the car and I am asking questions about how he’s doing. It comes out that he thinks the guy at the ice cream shop was flirting with me and I disrespected him by not shutting it down. I’m floored because a simple interaction about ice cream (this young person hadn’t complimented me, I didn’t complement him, we don’t know each other’s names, we didn’t share any personal information, etc- just talked about the ice cream) was turned into a flirtatious moment by my boyfriend. My boyfriend thinks I’m delusional for thinking this 20-something couldn’t be flirting with me. His level of insecurity is freaking me out and it is making me want to break up with him. AIO?

I’m 19M and she’s 17F, we’ve been talking for about a month or two, every day and for hours, we’re in a LDR and we’ve shown each other our faces and agreed that we’re both not each others type physically, but yet even after that we continued flirting and talking normally, she also invites me to play games with her hg or with her, and the three of us call and play for hours, she also texts me instantly whenever she wakes up, reassures me whenever I’m overthinking with screenshots and screen recordings of all her chats and her explaining what they’re talking about, constantly told me that she can share her screen and show all her apps and convos, and also shared her location with me without me asking. She’s also the type to never go out so whenever I want to call or do something with her she’s always up for it, and she replies instantly to almost all my texts. Other than reassuring me she also talks to me about my problems like using drinking to cope and wanting to smoke and telling me not to do it as it’ll be bad for me, also about my insecurities and life trauma she tries to understand me too so I appreciate her a lot.

So recently about a week ago ( and about a few weeks after we showed each other our faces ) she asked me out and asked if we could date. I was shocked because I didn’t think she liked me romantically because we’ve already stated we weren’t each others type physically. I asked why she liked me and she said that she liked me because I was funny, kind and nice to her and hardworking, I asked her if looks were an issue because I’m insecure about it, and she said that it wasn’t a issue and that she didn’t really care, and I told her that even if it wasn’t a issue I still want to work on my looks for myself anyway so in the long run I’ll look a lot better than what I look like right now.

TL:DR | i feel that she’s lying and looks actually matter to her a lot, because she does repost stuff on her socials about looks related stuff sometimes like “ height doesnt matter if you have a good face card “ ( very rarely ). Any help would be greatly appreciated. I just feel like most of this is fear from my previous relationships as all of them have treated me like shit.

I hung out with my friend, her boyfriend, and the guy I like (I don’t think he has any idea that I have a crush on him). It was the first time we’d spent that much time together. He complimented me, saying things like, “I like your voice,” and “Your name is pretty.” He kept making jokes about things I said and then looking at me to see if I was laughing. He also made a lot of eye contact and asked me a lot of questions about myself. We had so much fun.
But the next day, I posted an Instagram story with the friend we had hung out with, and he didn’t even like the story or text me. Does this mean I was just being delusional the whole time, or could he just be shy?
Also, do you think I should like his next Instagram story to let him know I’m interested, or should I just wait until the next time we see each other?

Hey all, I'm 23F. Recently something happened that's really on my mind and making me confused.

For context I had to change place where I live to another, mostly in ncr only.

I live alone here so I had no one to help me move and all and my things were heavy.

I thought I'll do it some how but it was scary.

There is this guy in my office, we barely talk but he's like this super loner guy but he's super polite and formal.

He doesn't care about anything.... busy with himself but if you talk to him, you won't feel like he doesn't want you there...

Overall a really good aura and obviously he's good-looking too.

We were talking over text about something I wanted to ask and then I mentioned innocently how I'm really worried about shifting.....it's gonna be hard alone.

He offered me help and I accepted it thinking so generous of him.

The next day I even confirmed if he was actually helping me and he said yes.

He came early the next morning and helped me carry all my bags in his car and he did it with so much ease and that was so impressive....he helped me to my new place and then we went to the office together and then he didn't even look at me the whole day like always......

He kind of drove 40kms only to help me in the rain and took all the responsibilities.....I felt super safe and somehow I started finding him attractive obviously......

I like to believe that he did it out of goodwill and not because he's interested in me cause he is super hot and nice and has girls all around him. I'm just above average, nothing special . he barely even looks at me maybe an awkward smile when we pass each other.

We have separate friend circles.

Can you guys tell me Is it possible he is interested in me?

[supprimé]

Ok so me and this guy let’s call him Ethan. We met at school we were really close friends. We met in English Literature class anyway he eventually dropped out of it because he hated it. But anyway not the point!

He was really nice to me actually and encouraged me to be more confident. We were close and I told him personal things about my family issues more than others, I went to his house, also I went to his house for parties, we did hold hands, we would hug goodbye! Anyway so everyone at school kept saying we were dating, even my friends teased me about it, his friends teased him about it CONSTANTLY though especially this one guy he brought it up constantly. Even brought up marriage 🤣.

Anyway at one of his parties there was this guy who was Ethan’s friend and I thought he was cute so we flirted and he asked for my number. Then Ethan blurted out loudly “DO YOU ACTUALLY LIKE HIM?!” I didn’t respond I felt embarrassed. Then later on I did kiss the guy, it was nice. Then Ethan went around to everyone at the party saying that I was pressured! But I wasn’t even everyone else said I wasn’t and asked me if I felt that way and I didn’t. Why did he do all that anyway?!

So then near the end of the party everyone had left and it was just Ethan and me. I asked who his crush was? At first he wouldn’t tell me then he did. He said “you!” I was so stunned. I had no idea he felt that way, but I have been told I am dense when it’s telling if someone likes me. Idk why, because I can always tell when others like someone else. I can just never tell when it’s actually me 😭💔. Anyway I just said “oh, I’m sorry. It’s just I’m confused right now. Idk what I want.” So I guess I didn’t reject him, I was actually just honest. Because I have no clue. I’m not exactly sure if I like him, I feel safe with him. Also when we first met I found him attractive. It’s just we have become such close friends and I don’t want to ruin that! So I feel like I might like him. But I just do feel so confused I have been going through a lot recently.

Anyway then he said there was a noise outside (there wasn’t). So we both ran out, and there wasn’t nothing. He then said “just so you know. You didn’t break my heart or anything.” Why say that?! Does he really not care as much as he said?! Anyway I need advice HELP ME! 😭💔

Okay so basically I met this guy at a bar a few months back. We made out at the bar and he’s honestly my second kiss but I get very weird about making out with guys when I’m drunk and feel gross after so I didn’t speak to him after that. He followed me on instagram but I didn’t follow him back. Anyway, fast forward to about 2 weeks ago he replies to my insta story and I answer and we have a short conversation. I snap him about a week later and he snaps me back. He seemed interested snapping me frequently, complimenting me, and asking to hangout but I didn’t really plan on hanging out with him I just enjoyed the compliments. However, I got really drunk one night and drunk texted him. and I think I said something that was tmi about myself, nothing embarrassing but about like my personal life. I unadded him the next day without even looking at the drunk texts I sent him because of the hanxiety. However he added me again the next day and since then I feel like I’ve liked him more and want to see him in person again but I feel like I’ve thrown him off. I’m usually starting the conversations now but he’s still answering only me sometimes and pretty fast. I asked him if he still wants to hangout and he said yes. He turned on his location but he turned it off after 24 hours however I’m confused if that was for me or not because I’ve had him on snaps for months and it’s never been on for me from what I’ve personally noticed (I’m not stalking him but we’ve been snapping for like a week and I haven’t had it while we’ve been snapping and i just haven’t noticed it before we did start snapping because I look at snap maps a lot). Ik this sounds like he does want to hangout with me still but I’m such an over thinker that idk if he just doesn’t want to talk to me or he’s playing hard to get please help me if I’m being delusional.

I am unfortunately not really good at figuring things out even if they are obvious. So im here again to ask for some help. I am 25(F) and I've never been in an actual relationship. Never had feelings for or wanted to be with someone. But I had found this person who has changed a lot of aspects for me. I am going to be honest here but I do find them incredibly adorable and gorgeous. I find myself copying their behaviors and things they say. Things they do are so cute that I will be alone and think about them and squeal like a child talking about a puppy or a kitten. I feel like I'm a creep for doing this though and only express this when I'm by myself. I would like to tell them how I feel but I'm very scared they will hate me if I do.

Now how they act with me is another area where I need help because I do not want to push anything if they're just being friendly. When we hang out they let their full personality out which is usually fairly reserved. They've given me kisses on the cheek and my forehead multiple times, not just while alone but with people present too. I had a stalker for a little bit and they came to rescue me when he wouldn't leave me alone. Asked me for consent to kiss me on the lips to possibly scare him away. That situation seems to have settled (I'm so grateful for them) but even when we hang out in a group

I do sometimes catch them staring at me. I never end up looking back and I pretend I don't noticed because I'm scared to make them uncomfortable. They have also moved into a room right beside mine, we work for the same company so are in housing. But last month they were sitting on our porch and I had come over to check on them. No words were said and they lifted their arms up so I stood infront to take their hands and I was pulled into a hug or a cuddle. I laid on top with them for a few minutes and they smelled so nice. I wanted to say something but I was worried I was going to make it awkward, but they went and said it first to me. (And then I didn't want to sound like a copycat.) But then it was cut short because my brother had come over and scared us. I struggle with self esteem and feel like I'm not good enough for them. And I’m really worried im going to end up pushing them away completely. I do want to kiss them back, but I feel that it'd be gross if I did it.

So if anyone is able to help me understand a little bit I could really use the help because I do not want to ruin anything. I love them very dearly and don't want to hurt them at all. I try to express my care by getting them things they like or if at a shop and finds something but puts it back I end up buying it for them. So is anything I've explained here a signal that means I am just a friend or do they like me? I do want to ask them, I'm just really scared to do so. I could ask people I know but I also fear judgment or causing drama.

As the title suggests I’ve been struggling with finding out if I actually want a relationship, I’m just lonely, or feeling like I should want a relationship.

I’ve been single the entire time I’ve been transitioning. I had top surgery about six months ago and I’ve been on T for three years. Overall I’m happy with the way I look, more muscle mass would be nice but I don’t have the energy or time to workout (I work on a farm). I was talking with friends recently about struggling with the dating world. Things like I can’t imagine someone finding me attractive, I don’t think im ugly but if someone called me hot or something I wouldn’t believe them. My dislike/extreme discomfort with physical touch. And my inability to make time for dating. They suggesting things like you’re probably not your own type, I may be on the Ace spectrum, or maybe it’s just not time for it.

People have told me that it sounds like I might Ace given my hatred of touch and my lack of patience with ppl (behind the scenes I maintain composure well). Ive gone through different periods of my life and I still have this desire to be with someone. Maybe it’s a desire to be desired but it’s hard to say. I’m in my early twenties and still a virgin part of me wants to have sex but another part I haven’t seen a person in real life that wasn’t a total stranger and been like yeah I’d hit that. On the one hand I want someone to share my life with cuddle with and all that, but on the other I don’t want to be constantly held accountable to someone. I don’t like the idea of someone hanging out in my room or hanging of me.

My therapist says I tend to be pretty rigid. If I were to date I’d have to loosen up my routines and structures. But I really don’t want to do that, I thrive off my rountine and doing the same thing, that way I know what to expect. I don’t know where a relationship would fit into my schedule. Do I not want a relationship badly enough? If I truly wanted one, wouldn’t I be more comfortable loosening up? What do my peers seem to have natural success finding partners in the wild (yes they are queer and trans equal playing field) but I don’t? Do I not give off a vibe that reads “datable”?

I hate that the majority of advice for trans ppl regarding data is to use dating apps, but those don’t work for me. I’ve tried consistently for four years to no success. I feel like I’m more likely to fine faults in someone through an app compared to in person.

Any advice would be appreciated! My emotions are frazzled and I don’t know what to think/ do

Have a great day

So, I’m a kindergarten teacher and one of my students’ dads is a professional athlete. He’s been looking for a nanny for a long time now but hasn’t had luck. One day a nanny had to come pick the student (Emma) up but she never showed up. I called the dad and all the emergency contacts but no one picked up. So I drove Emma to her house and her dad was also just coming home. He told me about his struggles with finding a nanny and i offered to help out for this week. The week went really well so he asked me if i would be available full time. I said yes as Emma is in my class and i have a lot of free time. The pay is so much and i love Emma. It’s barely a job. But the thing is, I’ve noticed him starting to look at me differently the past few days. He’s sooo hot but i would never do anything because i work for him? He hasn’t tried anything yet but things are starting to change

How can I tell whether I’m developing romantic feelings for my best friend or if I’m just emotionally attached because he supported me through a difficult time? and
What signs would help me distinguish between romantic attraction and emotional dependence?

i’ve been best friend with him since 2 years and i’ve never seen him in a romantic way ever, actually i’m always joking about him being gay. I’ve put him on with multiple of my friends and it never bothered me. But recently i noticed that i was thinking about him frequently, i will make efforts to keep the conversation going, i would try my best to spend most of my time with him and i would be annoyed if one of our mutual friends would tag along with us. tbh, i’m a possessive person and the way i acted with him wasn’t different from the way i acted with my female best friend. The thing that makes me confused is how i kinda seek his validation.

Maybe it’s bc he’s a man and i don’t have anything romantic going on at the moment but sometimes i would get happy if someone mistakes us for a couple. Something important to mention is that 2025 was a rough year for me and a lot happened and he was really there for me so i was thinking i was just really emotionally dependent on him in a unhealthy way that made me clingy. I don’t know if i see him as a paternal/male figure in my life or if i actually like him.

I don’t feel like i like him but my reasoning is that if you have a doubt about something it means there’s no doubt to have. If i was certain i didn’t like him i wouldn’t question myself.

I don’t really have anyone to talk about to bc everyone thinks me and him like each other and me opening up about my confusion would just make those rumors worse. not gonna lie , even if i come to the conclusion that i like him i would NEVER confess. bc i know i’m not his type and he doesn’t find me attractive. and he’s a very conventionally attractive guy who is liked by girls (my opposite tbh i wouldn’t say i’m not conventionally pretty but i’m just not that outstanding and i’ve never had a boyfriend or a real flirt that lasted more than a week)

Maybe that’s the reason why i want his approval. Mind you he’s an easy man, i think i’ve heard him at least once tell me about every girl we know that she was pretty or he had a crush on her. except me. i mean he’s not supposed to have a crush on me or something but i guess since he’s the only guy in daily life i want him to say i’m pretty or sum.

when i’m with him, i’m my usual self and i don’t really feel weird or anything. we be making “flirty jokes” but first we both do it all the time with everyone, it’s our friendgroup’s humor i would say and second i don’t really feel anything when we jokingly flirt. i can’t really picture myself with him in a romantic way but idk if it’s bc i’m in denial or bc i rlly see him as my friend.

Throughout our whole friendship, i’ve sometimes ask myself about that but really vaguely. those days i see my behavior changing so that’s why i’m questioning myself more.

idk this situation is really weird and i don’t think i’m actually in love or falling for him but i need an external opinion. i’ve tried my best to put all my emotions and thoughts about this situation but it’s a bit messy. hope i will find an answer. thanks for everyone who has taken their time to read that message.
Has anyone experienced something similar, and how did you figure out whether it was friendship or romantic feelings?

For the record, both are queer and into women. BUT: A little bit of context, My friend (24F, we'll call her R) and I (20f) have known each other for at least 6 months now and we met through her ex-partner (22m). While I'll admit I started crushing on her while they where still together I never made any advances and have been her bestie before anything else. Now I'm not going to get into it but her EX was extremely toxic and that ended with a lot of fallout. It's mostly over now and R and I have expressed mutual interest a few times now, but I don't want to push her into anything she might not be ready or comfortable for/with by making the first move as she has a habit of being a people pleaser and I'd hate to hurt her by mistake (I've also clearly told her I'm her bestie before all else a few times so she doesn't feel pressured). But she has told me she gets a little jealous when I flirt with other women, this makes me feel as if she's into me and just waiting for the right time? I'm really not sure anymore. But this does bring us to the person I met on a dating app (18f, we'll call her B) and she's recently asked me out. I've felt some good chemistry with them and we get along very well. The other night I was having issues and a small panic attack and they helped calm me down, part of that was them being forward and asking me out (which did a tone to boost my mood lol) but now I'm lost and have no clue how to move forward. This is where I need help and well- the bestie i usually ask for help is part of this story so i turn to random internet strangers </3
I don't feel like I could be in a relationship with B and not at least wonder what could / might have been with R. But at the same time, B made a move, there's mutual interests and a lot of chemistry and I've been single for a fair amount of time and I'm so damn sick of it. I've waited a few months for R to make a move and they have yet to, and B is still an amazing person who makes me happy and is local (a town away and probably about 45 min away) whereas R is a country away and several hours away. I'm just overwhelmed and sacred I'll fuck up. I feel like I'm choosing a safer / secure option over what might be a bit of a gamble for what might be better? I'm really not sure and I need opinions and thoughts to help me make sense of this mess.

Thanks in advance for reading and offering any advise at all <3

Genders are not necessarily important, as I am non-binary !

So, the person I’m talking about is a classmate of 3 years. We haven’t been friends for long but we had been talking a bit, at gatherings and with our friends (same friend groups) and then, at one party, I might’ve developed a crushed and decided to become friends. Just a week ago, I asked them to be friends because they’re ass at texting back and all that (to everyone, apparently).

This whole last week we were on a study trip together and talked a lot. I asked for cigs and to take hits from their vape and so on. Whenever I did they would either hand it over, pull it back, take a hit and then hand it to me OR when I’d hand it back, they’d take a hit while I’d be holding the vape and hold eye contact. They wouldn’t do this with anyone else, even though they do not mind sharing their things.

Am I imagining things or should I take a chance and go for it?
I can edit in other things they did during this week in any case for further analysis 🙏

i am friends with this guy and i like him and he likes me, but whenever he mentions liking me or being romantically attracted to me, i get really anxious and it scares me. i want to date him but i hate when people put pressure on my by telling me they like me, how can i fix this?

i’ve been with my bf or almost 3 years. last night we were playing one of those couples question games bc we’ve both been trying to communicate better lately. nothing was wrong between us. we were literally just hanging out on the couch chilling.

one of the questions was basically… whats smth you’ve never told your partner bc you were scared of how they’d react? (something like that)

honestly, i was expecting smth dumb or embarrassing but he got really quiet.

after a few secs he goes.... sometimes I believe you’re gonna wake up one day and realize you deserve someone better.

that totally caught me so off guard.

he’s always been the calm one. i’m usually the one who overthinks everything. if anyone was going to say something like that, o thought it’d be me.

i asked him why he’d never told me before.

he just shrugged and said he didn’t want me to feel like i always had to reassure him.

i honestly had no idea he’d been carrying that around.

now i’m replaying our whole relationship wondering how many times he was sitting there overthinking while i had no clue

i don’t even know why i’m posting this. i think i’m just shocked that someone can seem so secure on the outside and still be quietly scared of losing you

has anyone else found out their partner was overthinking this whole time?

Hi guys, I just don't know what to do. There's this guy who confessed that he likes me and that I'm his ideal type, but I don't really see that based on the way he treats me.

Guys! Im gay - a male 32! I feel like Im teen lol or in a second puberty but this is causing me problems. Im in a relationship currently but fell in love with one local police guy who comes often to my work for a coffee.

He is married and has kids but I think he kinda likes me in a different way (gives me eyes and looks I can’t explain) He also likes to talk to me and while sipping coffee his is always looking at me haha.

Im not sure If Im reading his face correctly or just fell in love but MAAAAN I can’t stop thinking about him once I get home! Im obsessed with him and still love my current boyfriend.

Wtf is wrong with me? How do i “undo” the whole thing?

Am I okay? Need your help

Hello everyone I need advice 😔 There’s this guy that I found really cute and I met one of his friends. His friend told me that he’ll try to set both of us up and I was really excited for it. Fast forwardd, the guy I liked started messaging me and both of us had conversation on insta. The thing is though, from our first conversation, I got the ick cause his humor is not really my thing, it’s like we dont click 🥲 I tried to be sweet and talk to him from time to time, as well as tell him things I did during the day, but I just feel like we have no spark whatsoever. I feel so bad as well too since I kind of called him cute on insta which maybe he thought I liked him, but I just dont want to lead him on since its getting pretty obvious he likes me. I feel like I’ll be such a red flag if I just stop talking to him knowing I was insterested first but I can’t help but feel I’m obliged to talk to him whenever he messages me first. How do I tell him that Im just not interested anymore? Do I tell his friend?