I feel like I like her but I'm not sure I really do.

I’m 20M and she is 25F. We’ve been talking for about two months, but during that time we’ve become surprisingly close. We really click with each other, we’re on the same wavelength, and it feels like we understand each other very naturally. Our personalities and sense of humor also match really well, and I honestly feel like there’s a very strong connection between us.
Because of that, she has become a very important person in my life, and I’ve developed feelings for her that go beyond friendship.
The complicated part is that she has a boyfriend.
She recently told me something that really stuck with me. She basically said:
“You’re too kind, and I feel like something moved inside me. I do like you, obviously, but I don’t know where the line between ‘I like you as a friend’ and something more is emotionally. I need to figure that out, because I don’t want anything like that inside me. So this is me being completely honest.”
I’m honestly not sure how to interpret that.
On one hand, I obviously have feelings for her too, so hearing that she might have some kind of feelings for me meant a lot. Especially because of how naturally we connect and how comfortable we are around each other.
On the other hand, she has a boyfriend, and I don’t want to interfere with their relationship or put any pressure on her. I respect the fact that she is in a relationship, and I don’t want to become the person who tries to convince her to leave him for me.
I really value our friendship, and honestly, I’m scared that being completely open about my feelings could change the friendship or even make me lose her. At the same time, I don’t know if keeping my feelings completely to myself is the right thing to do either.
I also don’t want to misinterpret what she said and assume that she means something romantic when she may simply be confused about the emotional boundary between friendship and something more.
How should I handle my feelings and my friendship with her from this point onward while respecting the fact that she is currently in a relationship?
I’m not looking for advice on how to “steal” someone’s girlfriend. I genuinely care about her, and because our friendship means so much to me, I want to handle this as respectfully and carefully as possible.

For context:

I met my boyfriend, let’s call him K, at a resort 2 months ago. K works at the resort. The resort centers around a very tight knit vibe, where workers of the hotel (the workers come from all around the world) facilitate and join activities with guests.

From the beginning of our trip, I participated in a particular daily activity facilitated by K. From the moment we met, I was instantly physically attracted to him, and this attraction grew when I noticed he started devoting more time to me in addition to what was required of his role in the resort. We spent mealtimes together, texted over Instagram, and most significantly, went out for late night supper in a big group (with other hotel workers) on multiple occasions.

On each occasion, K and I would intentionally sit next to each other in the car/ van the group was sharing, and the conversations we had left us both laughing as if there was nobody else around us. More significantly though, we began to get really touchy with each other on our last night out.

By the time I had to leave the resort, I knew in my heart that there was definitely something between us.

A day after I had returned home, K texted me saying he had something to tell me. We had a video call. He explained his feelings for me in great detail and I could sense the sincerity in his words from the way he described our interactions. I confessed that I had felt the same way, after which we spent hours discussing all the moments we spent together.

We continued calling each other everyday and eventually decided to make it official. At this point, we have been an exclusive couple for a month.

It’s also worth noting that K’s first language is French. While he speaks English fluently, we’ve experienced some minor language miscommunication. Also, we currently live three hours apart with a one-hour time difference.

Some background on the main issue:

From the outset of our relationship, I made it clear to K that I’d been cheated on twice before. He confided in me about his own experience and also revealed his biggest turn-off is one-sided effort and feeling taken for granted.

We’ve had a few minor disagreements stemming from his fear of being taken for granted:

For example, when I was short on money, K offered to pay for a food delivery to my place. This was the first time either of us had spent money on each other. A few days later, I surprised him with concert tickets he had been raving about. I wanted to use this as a gesture to show my love for him (a *just-because* gift) and partially to thank him for his kindness in ordering food for me.

A few days later, on our nightly video call, I offered to pay for K’s supper, because I could see how hungry he was. I waited for him to tell me what he’d ordered so we could enter my card details together. He said he’d decided what he wanted to eat but didn’t respond when I followed up right after. I waited a few minutes, assuming he was still looking through the app, since his screen showed him looking at his phone. After a while, I asked him another question and he ignored me. I found it strange. A few minutes later, he hung up.

It turns out, K had told me twice what he wanted to eat and I completely missed it. I don’t know if it was my cell connection, or my hearing. K was upset because he felt like he had dropped everything to order my food previously, but I didn’t care enough for him to do the same. I felt horrible, because not hearing him was an honest mistake on my end.

It took two days for us to fully resolve the issue. It felt like whatever apology I had to give was irrelevant, and nothing could stop his conviction that I didn’t care as much for him as he does for me.

I felt this was unfair because I’d clearly shown care with the surprise tickets. I also thought the tickets were objectively high in value, which should indicate my willingness to sacrifice for him, even though I’m not earning anything as a university student.

This incident made me realise K is avoidant in conflict. I’m quite the opposite; my anxious attachment style led me to obsess over the situation. Despite my multiple apologies and loving texts, his responses became dry and even left me blue-ticked.

Part of K’s “taken for granted” issue stems from his absolute hatred of being blue-ticked. I discussed this with him and asked why it was acceptable for him to do it. His reasoning was that I had ignored him so naturally he would ignore me.

This incident highlighted for me that K is still deeply hurt by past trauma in relationships and his defence mechanisms are evident when he’s upset. I understood this was his way of self-protection.

The main issue:

K and I usually have three windows to call each day: in the afternoon when he finishes his first shift, in the evening when he finishes his second, and in the night when he’s done for the day. We usually fall asleep together on our night calls.

It had been a while since the previous incident. One night, we were video calling as usual. I had a horrible sore throat and fever, which K knew, and I fell asleep on our call. I woke up at 5pm the next day with my sickness and saw no messages from him. It hurt me a little, but I apologised for not texting him earlier because I had missed our first window of the day.

I was left on delivered by K for 4 hours, after which I texted again to ask if he was alright. By that time, we had missed our second window of the day. K texted back saying he’d call me after he was done for the day. In my timezone, that usually means he’ll call at around 1am.

I waited until 4am, having received no word from him at all. I then asked if he was available, to which he only responded “Yes”, without calling me instantly. I decided to just call him instead, but he didn’t respond.

Despite my sickness, I stayed awake until 6am before I eventually texted him to say that I felt neglected (I basically said “Feels like you don’t want to talk to me”). I then went to sleep.

In the morning, he replied that we hadn’t spoken much the previous day. I texted back, agreeing and expressing my sadness. I asked him to call me when he could. This was all before our first chance to call.

The first window passed without a text or call. I texted again, saying I really needed to talk. He replied with “Okay”. I genuinely thought he’d take the hint and call me then.

However, the second window also went by without a response.

He finally called me at 2am.

During our call, I asked K what was going on. He said he had a feeling I was taking him for granted and wanted to make me realise he wasn’t a “game”. I was genuinely hurt and asked for the basis of his feeling.

K admitted it was just a feeling but then gave examples of how I don’t usually call first. I explained that I respect his working hours so I usually ask when he’s available before calling. He dismissed that as an excuse.

I attempted a sincere and straightforward conversation with K about my feelings. I felt I hadn’t done anything to warrant his sudden withdrawal.

However, I believe we both misinterpreted each other due to the language barrier. I’ve realized that, at times, the language barrier makes it difficult for us to discuss complex situations in detail.

After a while of my talking, K stopped answering.

I asked if he had the energy to even talk. He told me he didn’t, and I asked if he’d rather I ended the call. He basically told me to make the decision myself because he didn’t like forcing people to stay when they didn’t want to.

I was happy to stay on call with him; I just wanted his company after what felt like the longest day apart. An hour into our own quiet time, he hung up on me.

I’m writing this at 5:08 am after being hung up on after the aforementioned call. I genuinely don’t know how to handle this situation. I know he won’t text me first tomorrow so I’ll have to start the conversation again. It’s exhausting but I’m at a loss for what else to do. I don’t want to leave this issue unresolved.

I also don’t want this issue to be the breaking point.

I’m not giving up on us or him because I truly believe he’s a once-in-a-lifetime person. It sounds cliché but the circumstances of our meeting were magical. I can’t fully describe the interactions and memories we shared while we were together but I’ve never felt this enamoured before.

While it might seem naive, a special kind of character is needed to convince me of genuine love and he possesses it. He even mentioned a few days ago that he’s decided to spend his annual holiday with me in my country, meaning I’ll see him in two months.

My questions are below:

1. Based on all the above information, is there any other way I could have handled the situation?
2. What are the talking points I should consider for our next conversation about the situation?
3. How can I mediate similar tension/ conflict with K in the future?

Hey Reddit

I have never posted before and no one will probably see this but in any case I need advice. For reference I’m a 19 year old at my university and I’m sophomore in my undergrad, to put it plainly, today I had my lab for my chem 2 class. Today was mostly introductory, so there wasn’t much going on.

Also at my university, TAs do most of the teaching/grading in labs, if that is useful info for u. My TA is a senior still in undergrad and is 21. As soon as I saw him I wanted to get to know him but beyond that he seemed to be a genuine person who cared about what he does.

Anyways, my friends think I should try to get to know him more and see if anything happens, but I’m wondering would it be weird? Considering he is my TA? And even more than that, idek know if he likes guys, and as a gay man I feel like it’s really hard to tell someone’s orientation, but I feel that there isn’t a way to ask without it sounding too weird.

My friends also said that I should like attend office hours and just be a really dedicated student, I was already planning on doing that anyways since chem isn’t my strongest subject.

But to reiterate, should I pursue something with him? See where things go? Or would it be too weird? Is there a way to find out his orientation without being blatantly obvious I’m interested?

SO BASICALLY I WAS AT HANGOUT WITH MY FRIEND AND WE BASICALLY CONFESSED TO EACH OTHER RN AND WE BOTH DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO BECAUSE WERE SCARED OF REALITIONSHIPS AND ARE SCARED OF BREAK UPS

I need to know how to move forward from this talking stage.

back story. we work together. we’ve been best friends for awhile. almost immediately after he started working with me we realized that we both had a lot in common and the rest is history. we’ve become really close and around my birthday I confessed my feelings for him. he def said he liked me back and since then we’ve been talking and taking things so slow. like molasses slow. no hang out time, no fun time, just a lot of phone and text time and time at work. I know he’s trying to take things and he does want us to be friends before we make anything is official. here’s the thing I’m struggling with, I’m crazy about him. in every way. he’s so smart. he’s handsome. he’s determined. and my oh my my when I say im drawn to him, I mean that. on all levels. I just want to take things further with him and I want advice from anyone whos ever been in these positions, what would you do or how would you tell him that you want to respect his boundaries and how do I show him that I don’t want to be like the rest and support him?

!! this post contains a lot of “he said, I said” etc.

I’m really bad at reading signals in romantic situations, probably because of my low self-esteem and insecurity, so I’d really like to hear some outside opinions. Maybe it’s simply too early to draw any conclusions, but I genuinely can’t figure out whether my coworker is romantically interested in me or whether he’s just a very friendly and open person :(

We work together, and over the last three weeks we’ve started crossing paths much more often at work. He’s naturally very sociable, open and friendly, so sometimes when we were working in the same area, he would just ask me something and we’d start talking about completely random things, like games, studying, or joking around about something.
At some point, he suggested that we go for a motorcycle ride together (this was basically an “exchange” for some snacks I brought him).
I agreed, and we planned it for last weekend. We were texting about it beforehand, and he asked me whether I wanted to do something after the ride so he could plan his evening, or whether he should just take me home afterward.
I asked him if he wanted to do something, and he said he wouldn’t mind watching a movie or playing on the PlayStation, for example. In the end, we decided to watch a horror movie after the ride.
But (of course 🥹) that was exactly when it started pouring rain, so we had to cancel the ride because the roads were too wet. I asked if that meant I should just stay home then, and he said we could still meet and watch the movie.
So I went to his place.
We watched a horror movie while lying together on his couch, talking and joking around, but he didn’t make any attempt to get physically closer to me. There was no touching my hand, no hugging, no trying to put his arm around me or anything like that.
So naturally, I decided that he probably wasn’t into me after all.
After the movie, he asked if he should drive me home. I said yes. But he knows that I’m really afraid of the dark (it has actually become a bit of an inside joke between us over the past few weeks because we’ve talked about it quite a lot), and he asked if I wasn’t going to be scared sleeping alone since I live by myself.
I joked that after watching a horror movie, it would be pretty logical to be scared.
Then he said that if I felt comfortable, I could stay at his place and sleep in the living room.
I agreed, and he genuinely made sure I was comfortable and gave me everything I needed (he even gave me his Tshirt!), while he went to sleep in his own bedroom.
Later, there was a really intense storm and thunderstorm, so we both woke up and got up to close the windows and clean up the water from the floor.
And at some point I decided to try my luck a little and said that I was scared to sleep alone in the living room because of the storm. Maybe I exaggerated a little…
He said that I could absolutely sleep in his bed if I wanted to, so eventually we ended up sleeping in the same bed.

And again - absolutely nothing happened.
And I’m not talking about anything sexual. There wasn’t even any attempt from his side to hold hands, hug me or touch me any other way (no intimacy meant). We simply slept next to each other.
I woke up very early in the morning and basically escaped his apartment while he was still sleeping because I felt embarrassed and had absolutely no idea how to interpret the whole situation and also had to go to work

After that, I completely convinced myself that he wasn’t interested in me.

And then I did the stupid thing of looking through his social media, which only made me even more convinced that I’m not his type.
He follows a lot of girls who look very similar to each other. They’re mostly cute, petite blondes with big blue eyes and freckles.
Basically the complete opposite of me :(
I'm tall, have black hair, pretty pronounced cheekbones, dark circles under my eyes, and overall I look like I just walked out of some Tim Burton project.
So I thought: well, obviously I’m not his type.
We continued texting a little afterward, but not that much. A few messages a day, and not even every day.
A few days ago, he told me that I had left my bracelet at his place, and I confirmed that it was mine.
And then he wrote something along the lines of:
“Should I bring it to you at work, or can I hope you’ll come by again?”
And I genuinely froze.
Because this whole time I had been convinced that he probably didn’t want me to come over again.
I told him that I’d happily come over if he invited me, of course.
He replied, “We’ll arrange something,” and yesterday he followed up on that message and asked when I had some free time.
We arranged to meet, and he said that he would be at a birthday party beforehand, so when we meet he might be a little tipsy, which would make it easier for him to talk because he wouldn’t be as shy.
I told him that I hadn’t noticed him being shy at all.
And he basically admitted that he actually is shy and nervous because he doesn’t have much experience, and that I’m essentially only the second girl he has spent time with in this kind of situation.

There’s also the situation with his ex-girlfriend.
I know they broke up relatively recently. I don’t know exactly how long they were together, but I suspect around 2–3 years.
When I was at his place, I noticed a card on his desk that she had given him about two years ago. I asked if it was from his sister, and he said no, it was from his ex.
And that also made me wonder whether he’s actually emotionally ready for a new relationship or whether he’s still processing the breakup.
At the same time, he seems like a genuinely very good person. He’s very open, calm, kind and extroverted. He loves festivals, big groups of people and being around others all the time.
I’m basically the complete opposite. I love staying at home, I live mostly in my own little world, and I’m perfectly happy with a small circle of people.
And now I’m already starting to worry that maybe we’re fundamentally incompatible even though we haven’t even started dating!! 😭

It might seem stupid that I’m already thinking about things like this when we’ve only spent one evening together, but I have BPD and I’m trying not to trigger myself unnecessarily with crushes that, in my head, seem like they’re probably going nowhere.
So I genuinely don’t know how to interpret any of this.
Does it sound like he might actually be interested in me, or am I just reading way too much into everything?

My guy best friend and I have been best friends for about two years. Ngl, I think he’s cute, so obviously that makes this whole situation a little more complicated.

When we first became friends, he once told me that he wouldn’t date younger girls. There’s a six-year age gap between us (we’re both adults btw,), so I basically filed that information away and assumed there was nothing romantic there.

However, he does things that could easily be interpreted as romantic gestures, to the point that other people regularly assume we’re dating.

Recently, he’s actually started bringing up the fact that people mistake us for a couple. He says he doesn’t mind being mistaken for my boyfriend, and he’s also mentioned that he’s becoming more open-minded about relationships in general. I’m not sure if I’m reading too much into that or if he’s trying to hint at something.

This past weekend, I visited his city and ended up staying at his house. We had a few glasses of wine and talked until the early hours of the morning. When it was time to sleep, we shared his bed, and he hugged me. We ended up spooning while we slept, and he was being really affectionate with me.

Needless to say, my heart was racing. Now I’m completely confused. On one hand, I feel like there are some pretty obvious signs that he might be interested in me. On the other hand, we’ve been best friends for two years, and I really don’t want to interpret normal affection between close friends as something romantic just because I happen to find him attractive.

Am I reading too much into this, or does this sound like he might actually be interested in me? What signs should I look for before I make myself delulu?

In a bullet point nutshell
-i told my best friend i had a crush on guy
-best friend is best friend with guy
-best friend told guy that we would look cute/match and that im not the type of girl to “reject or “string” a guy after dates/showing interest”
-we went on 2 dates and have been talking for months/calling for 5h
-1st date he came to buy summer beach house/travelled for 8h total/brought flowers
-2nd date we went shopping (for him), ate dinner (he payed)—had a good time (i was lowkey mean tho)
-i realized i dont like him

I don’t want to hurt him—i like him as a person but not romantically—he has been hurt by multiple girls for being “too nice”—i wish to like him but I can’t and i feel so horrible and i want to be friends and i dont want him to hate me and I don’t want our overall friendgroup to hate us

what do I do??

I’ve been seeing this guy for a few weeks now and we’ve connected so deeply, the only issue being i’m fresh 17. I’ve seen mixed opinions on the situation but in the UK the legal age is 16. The legal age meaning that by 16 you can date anyone above 18 as long as they’re not a teacher/ coach. But i just need opinions on this as i don’t want to get serious with him without preparing for any potential controversy over our relationship. I really do like him and i think we’ve connected so well, i reallt don’t want to end things. I think it also bothers him a little everytime i bring it up but i just need confirmation from someone on here. Ask me any questions about myself or him if needs be.

My boyfriend (28M) and I (29F) moved from the East Coast to LA about two months ago to pursue our dreams in the entertainment industry. I have a remote job making $24 an hour for 40 hours a week, but he moved here with almost nothing. Before the move, he barely applied to places, and I stupidly assumed things would work out differently once we arrived. He is an incredibly talented, reputable actor with an agent and a solid resume back east. I really thought he would be trying harder to showcase his talent, network, or at least secure some kind of temporary financial support so the entire burden wouldn't fall on me.

Instead, I am carrying 100% of our expenses, and it is terrifying. He has only applied to about 10 jobs in two months, only two in person, and never follows up. He spends maybe an hour a week looking for work and when he’s not doing that, he’s practicing monologues and going to writers groups for acting trying to network but I think he’s looking in the wrong places. The rest of the time, he is at home with me while I work remote. He does help around the house with cooking and cleaning, but chores don't pay the rent. And I’m still doing chores, too. Most days he sleeps in, cleans for a couple hours and then does some independent acting practice.

He is picky about the work he is willing to do, I’ve encouraged him to do DoorDash, etc but he has to work at a snobby actor job. I’m telling him he doesn’t have the luxury to pick and choose, we just need money. I have savings but don’t want to spend it all on his mistakes.

Here is the hardest part: I know he is sad. He is deeply depressed, and to make matters worse, he doesn’t have health insurance out here to get professional help. But the truth is, I’m depressed and miserable here, too. We both hate LA and wish we never left the East Coast. The difference is, I am still pushing forward by working full time and actively interviewing for PR roles while he is completely stalled.

I feel so incredibly stupid for letting myself get into this situation. This is not the first time in our relationship that he has leaned on me financially, and he knows exactly how I feel about it. Because we have had this conversation a million times and nothing changes or it’s very small, I am starting to get mean. I find myself snapping at him, resentfully telling him to just work harder, and the atmosphere in our apartment is toxic. We fight constantly.

I am drowning in anger and resentment. Any guidance would be greatly appreciated.

I (21F) have been with my girlfriend "Zara" (21F) for about 8 months. We're not very open about our relationship, so only a few close friends know we're together.

A few weeks ago, Zara met this guy "Mark" (22M). He's about a year older than us. Zara is very outgoing and friendly, and they immediately hit it off. I didn't like him from the start, but I decided to give him a chance.

Zara invited both me and Mark out for coffee. We chatted, but one thing really bothered me. Every time I tried to talk to Mark, he wouldn't look at me. Instead, he'd look directly at Zara while giving me the shortest possible answers. He barely even acknowledged my presence. I get being shy – I'm shy myself – but looking at someone else while talking about your day just felt weird to me.

I told Zara that I didn't mind them being friends, but I didn't want to be part of that friendship. Please leave me out of it. That was my boundary.

She agreed, but then she started randomly inviting him to things that were supposed to be just the two of us. Her reason was that he didn't have many friends and she felt bad for him. I understood that, I really did. But then he met some of our other friends, and they picked up on the exact same thing. None of us like him, but we stayed civil.

I asked Zara again not to invite him to things meant for us. She was upset but agreed, and for a few days she didn't mention him. I was relieved.

Then she told me Mark had invited her to the gym to watch him train. Zara doesn't go to the gym. She hates the smell of our local gym, and the others are almost 40 minutes away. She told him no because she was busy. I found it a bit odd but didn't think much of it.

Later, one of my best friends, who happens to know Mark, told me Mark was really interested in this one girl. I didn't think much of it until my friend showed me a picture of the girl. It was Zara.

I was upset but decided to talk to Zara later. When I told her, she said nothing was going on. I wasn't fully convinced. I know she wouldn't cheat on me, but the thought of her hanging out with a guy who clearly likes her, without setting clear boundaries, didn't sit well with me.

Then Mark somehow got my number (he doesn't know Zara and I are together) and texted me, asking what Zara likes because he knew we were close. I told him I didn't know and to figure it out himself. I showed Zara the messages, and she said she'd talk to him. She went out for coffee with him and told him she wasn't interested. She said he understood.

But then a mutual friend told me that after their coffee, he saw Mark at a nearby place, bragging to his friend that the girl he'd just been on a date with kissed really nicely.

I was furious and told Zara. She said she'd talk to him again.

This is where I might have crossed a line. I told her I wasn't comfortable with her hanging out with him. I said: "You already told him you're not interested, and yet he's still going around saying this. I'm uncomfortable with this friendship." I also pointed out that none of our friends like him, and that she keeps rejecting invitations from other friends to hang out with him instead, which is straining her relationships with everyone, not just me.

She said she would cut him off. I told her that while yes, that would make me happy, I just wanted her to set a clear boundary and make sure it didn't happen again.

In the end, she did cut him off, but now she's very upset with me.

AITA for telling her to stop hanging out with him? Or was I being too controlling?

Me (F18) and him (M18)

We're both 18 and I'm still in high school doing my final exams in a couple of months. We both work together in a grocery store in different departments however our departments do cross over and we would have to interact with each other either way.

I took 2 weeks off school for exams and while I was away the whole store has found out he has a crush on me. This crush stemmed from before he had ever spoken to me and had just seen me around but he said it grew more once we started chatting at work. He says I always flirt with him but I genuinely don't think I was flirting and that I was just bantering. I also don't speak to him any different from other co-workers, both female and male, or any of my managers. I told one of my co-workers and she just said people would get the idea that we like each other solely because of my personality.

The other night over a phone call, he confessed to liking me and I told him I liked him when I was explaining how I didn't want to be leading him on. I felt obliged to tell him I liked him because he confirmed that he likes me but i had already known because he wasn’t slick and he admitted to it. I didn't explicitly say ‘I like you too’, I asked him if he thought I liked him and he said 'yeah I hope' in which I responded with 'well you might be right'. He knows i've got final exams in a couple of months and said he'd wait until after I was done and then maybe take things more seriously. The next morning I woke up feeling sick and worried because I cannot tell which way I like him, whether its platonic or more romantically.

He also knows I want to go traveling next year, however I don't want a boyfriend during that time and he said his happy to wait until I come back. But I can't promise anything for next year in whether i'd like him how he likes me or if I have another romantic interest in someone else.

He keeps reposting videos on instagram about how his found the 'perfect girl' and very relationship type of reels. I am also the only person he has got on instagram so I know it’s about me.

The whole of work also knows and has known for the past 2 weeks i’ve had off, which means my name has consistently been in other people’s mouths and he couldn’t care less knowing people are talking about it, but I care. At the end of the day he cops it jokingly from people at work but because i’m a female everyone now perceives me in a certain light, especially if I say no to dating him. He tells me what other co-workers say and they act like i’m a prize his won and don’t account for me as my own self.

Both my friends and mum reckon I should go out on a date with him first to see if I truly like him or not but I'm worried about leading him on subconsciously, because clearly i've been subconsciously "flirting" with him. I am also so firm in the fact that I was not flirting but rather engaging in banter.

Is banter flirting? How do I know if I like him in the same way he likes me? Am I leading him on?

I'm 27M, she's around my age. She proposed to me and says she loves me and wants to marry me. She trusts me, supports my career growth, and talks about us as a team in front of her family. We've also travelled and gone on night-outs together many times.

The problem is her family. She's very family-oriented and has told me that until marriage, if her parents/sister say no to something, she'll accept it. She says after marriage they won't interfere. She doesn't feel capable of standing against them right now because she doesn't want to hurt her family.

I'm very different. I'm adventurous—travelling, hiking, motovlogging, exploring—and I want a partner who genuinely wants to experience that life with me. I don't want to wait years until marriage to live that life.

I've also made major sacrifices for this relationship. I stayed in a job partly because I could see her every day, changed my career direction toward editing, and spent a lot of money building that career. Because I've sacrificed so much, I sometimes feel hurt that I don't see the same level of sacrifice from her.

Another issue is time. We talk every night. If she has something personal or career-related to do during our usual time, I get upset because I feel our time should be protected. I don't mind her studying or pursuing her career—I just want her to find a way that doesn't constantly reduce our time together. I personally make an effort to do things without changing our regular time.

I've also realized I have a strong need to feel chosen. If I don't call, she may not call either, and if she chooses something else over our time, I interpret it as "she chose that instead of me." I know I have trust/insecurity issues, and I'm trying to understand whether I'm expecting too much.

She says she loves me and has made efforts, but I don't feel the intensity of commitment that I give her.

I don't want to force her or control her. If she genuinely doesn't want this lifestyle, I'd rather she choose freely than stay under pressure.

and one thing.. after she told her elder sister...
I am earning around 6 LPA.. I love her... She loves me too... She belongs to a poor family... I mean too many problems in her family... She wants to marry me.. live her life with me...

But she wants her family to agree... that's right... But her elder sister made a condition I have to earn 1lakhs/month within a year... Because they need reputation...

And here... I am too from a poor family... I have a mother and an divorced sister... She wants to give atleast 10k to her parents after marriage and her younger brother 5k atleast ( because he is little weak mind ) ...

I am a type of traveller... I want world tour... But if I marry her.. she has 2 elder sister and a young brother...

I have to take care her parents and my family completely...

I don't like interference in my family after marriage

.. but I feel that they can interfere..

I feel she loves me with her heart 20% and with brain 80%..

I am confused... Her clothes, room, daily needs, travel... I spent minimum 4lakhs in 1 year for her...

Now what should I do.... I love her so much... But I don't getting the same...

So honestly: Am I being unreasonable? Is her family dependence a temporary situation, or is this a fundamental compatibility problem? And are my sacrifices something I can reasonably expect her to match, or are they entirely my responsibility because I chose to make them?

So a coworker (31M) that I (29F) have a big crush on is unfortunately taken. He has a long term girlfriend. I only see him once or twice a year since we work in different corners of the company. We have a yearly catch up, and last year when I learned he was dating a girl from college my heart broke! But whatever. I kept chatting him up on the rare occasions I would see him. Most recently he staffed one of our events, and we continued talking. He referenced that he is still with his gf, never naming her but saying “WE have a lot of weddings to go to this summer”, etc etc. He knows I’m interested in him, it’s hard for me to hide. But obviously I would never make a move since he is taken. I posted on LinkedIn about the event, with a photo of me and some coworkers. He “love” reacted. What does the love react mean? And why not just a simple like? He also went out of his way to find me at this event. Any advice helps!

For context, I met my boyfriend about a year ago now and we have been inseparable ever since. I moved in with him around nine months of dating, and I’ve loved every moment of it. I’ve never been treated so well by someone I’m so in love with. I truly believe that we are meant to be together….okay enough with the sappy stuff…here’s the issue.

I went to college for 5 years to receive an interior design degree and have since landed a job in my dream location working for a fantastic firm close to my family and friends. He is currently working in the Coast Guard and has to submit jobs for his next tour by the end of this month. Since he is located here now, there is a very good chance that he will not receive this location again. With this being said, I would have to sacrifice moving away from my family, friends, and leave my job with only a year of experience post grad. Needless to say I’m terrified.

We did long distance before when I was at college and we got through it just fine, but I’m scared that if I do not move with him, we will not make it through the four year tour coming up. Do I choose the career I’ve worked so hard for, or do I relocate with him in hopes of finding a job?