u/KaleidoscopeClean653

I was diagnosed with genital herpes during my last year of college. I hooked up with a guy that I had known for the past years and we were on and off…3 days later…I had an AWFUL initial outbreak. So here we are.

I went down a whole rabbit hole of looking up “what are the chances of a female passing it to a male” and “do people end up in long term relationships with herpes” etc. Here I was, no boyfriend, VERY judgmental friends (all of us being in our early 20’s where slut shaming is very prevalent), and a very conservative family.

For the next 6 months, I reflected, didn’t hook up with anyone, and really asked myself “how to I fix this and how do I grow from this”. Since that moment on, I didn’t let this define me and moved THE FUCK on with my life. I finished college, went on dates, traveled, landed a good ass job…and grand finale…landed an amazing, loving boyfriend. We have since been dating for a year and a half and I’m moving halfway across the country with him.

TRUST ME. My life felt like it was completely over and everyone sucked, no drive, no motivation, s*uicidal, but here we are. Life has a funny way of turning itself inside out. I am beyond happy. The phrase “people are out there that will accept the way you are” is BULLSHIT. EVERYONE will accept you. I’ve NEVER been turned down disclosing to a guy…not once. Do not let everyone scare you into disclosing, because you’re YOU they will like YOU. Be kind, be yourself, and they will love YOU for YOU. This quite literal skin condition is so minor in the grand scheme of things. You will be loved and you are not the girl/boy with herpes.

For context, I met my boyfriend about a year ago now and we have been inseparable ever since. I moved in with him around nine months of dating, and I’ve loved every moment of it. I’ve never been treated so well by someone I’m so in love with. I truly believe that we are meant to be together….okay enough with the sappy stuff…here’s the issue.

I went to college for 5 years to receive an interior design degree and have since landed a job in my dream location working for a fantastic firm close to my family and friends. He is currently working in the Coast Guard and has to submit jobs for his next tour by the end of this month. Since he is located here now, there is a very good chance that he will not receive this location again. With this being said, I would have to sacrifice moving away from my family, friends, and leave my job with only a year of experience post grad. Needless to say I’m terrified.

We did long distance before when I was at college and we got through it just fine, but I’m scared that if I do not move with him, we will not make it through the four year tour coming up. Do I choose the career I’ve worked so hard for, or do I relocate with him in hopes of finding a job?