r/disability

Please avoid the “he deserved it!” comment. Yes he did. I agree with you. But I have no one else. All of my relatives died this year and I am not on any sort of assistance. I cannot shower or eat without help. I don’t know what to do. I plan on getting what legal assistance I can and getting the charges dropped. There’s a no contact order now in place and I need to drop it in order to live.

YES I KNOW I AM A VICTIM. BUT ITS BE A VICTIM OR STARVE TO DEATH BECAUSE I HAVE NO ONE. I ALSO HAVE A STALKER WHO WILL ACTIVELY TRY TO MURDER ME IF THEY KNOW I AM ALONE. I promise this man is the lesser of two evils.

I’m not trying to be incendiary or rude. I just need care and there’s no one and I have no idea what to do. I’m so hungry and I need care. I can’t drive or go anywhere I’m bedbound. And I’m scared.

UPDATE: thank you all so so so so much. your kind replies kept me sane through my agony. i’ve been able to receive assistance through an organization dmed to me and i will be okay for the weekend at least. i will still keep your resources and think about what to testify about my abusive caregiver. i am so gratefulnfor thisncommunity for helping me when i felt i had no one and norhing. thank you so much

How can I make my all white apartment more welcoming and comfortable just for myself?

There's nothing to see when I look out the window. And I'm home a lot. I have some small pieces of art that I can hang on the wall. But I need a whole atmosphere change.

I'm disabled. So that means both low income and I'm home most of the time.

What unusual things have you done with walls or ceilings to make a place more appealing?

What can you do with your windows if the view outside them is just a sheet metal fence?

Usually when I choose an apartment I'm picky about what I see when I look out the windows. However, I had to make an emergency move. I feel fortunate I got a place safe and clean where everything works as it should. I even have two bedrooms, plenty of space.

Hi! I'm kind of new to being disabled (lol), only about 3 years, so I don't really know the social standards around this. But every time I go somewhere that has a line, people let me jump it. I'm a wheelchair user because I have a vascular disease. Like, the other day my gf and I went to an event at a café that had a huge line, but we asked if we could get in early, and they allowed us. We went to a concert last week and waited in the regular line, and were gently admonished by the staff and told we should go in the priority line. I mean, I really love it. It's extremely convenient, and I'm definitely slower/more cumbersome than other people due to the chair, so it helps me feel like I have breathing room to get into events. But also, it's not necessary, since the reason I can't wait in lines normally is the standing. And I'm sitting. The only other reason is just that my veins can't tolerate heat well.

I'm mainly just asking since I saw someone share a comic about this in the wheelchair sub. It was someone asking to jump ahead in line because of their chair, and getting annoyed when people said no. Several commenters were saying they'd never do that, and that it's selfish. I mean, I have my own reasons that I like it. But I'm curious if this is actually an unusual thing to do, and if it's widely considered frivolous or rude.

Would you/do you take advantage of these perks?

So I am not disabled myself (although I guess that depends on the definition of disability), but I have worked with people with disabilities all my life - in several different jobs over the years. There is one thing I always wondered about. It's in the past now, but I want to get everyone's opinion.

I used to have a role working with people with disabilities in their homes, and often helped them with grocery shopping. Most of the people I served had difficulty with ambulation and had a handicapped parking tag (none had their own vehicle, so the tag was for their helpers). They used the store scooters in grocery stores. Typically I would let them off by the entrance, help them get into a scooter, then park my car in a handicapped spot using their tag and join them inside. When we left, they drove the scooter right to the parking spot and got in. This commonly happened at least twice during the workday for me. It was honestly a very tiring job, but my heart was in caring for the people I worked with, so I didn't mind too much. However, when I would walk alone from the handicapped spot to the store, I often got dirty looks as if I was abusing a handicapped parking tag. Honestly it was pretty annoying and upsetting to me, who had a tough and underpaying job, and would have had to work even harder to get my car from the end of the parking lot and pick up my individual at the grocery store doors instead of having them drive the scooter to the handicapped spot after their shopping. Keep in mind that I did this sometimes multiple times per day, and probably 10x per week. It was mostly just dirty looks, I think only once someone actually commented.

As people with disabilities, do you see this as misuse of the handicapped parking tag?

Last night me and my family went to go see my brother’s symphony performance. One of the people working the event was using a cane. When we found our seats she waved me over and told me that she saw the person who was using a cane “running around yesterday with a heavy camera” at the marching band event yesterday. My heart immediately sank. She said that they have a term for those people (she works in the medical field), and I saw her show my brother her phone with giant text saying histrionic personality disorder. My brother told me that there’s so many people who fake disabilities as if it was a common thing. All of this really upset me. I was just silently crying for half the performance. She called me selfish and a bitch when I responded to my brother’s question about which piece was my favorite with “I don’t know, I couldn’t pay attention.” I just couldn’t believe that she would be the type of person to say that. She’s been such a huge advocate for me with my disability. Those types of comments are why I constantly worry about what people are thinking about me in public. It’s what I worry about when strangers ask why I need a wheelchair, it’s why I catch myself acting more disabled than I actually am when transferring from my wheelchair. Because I don’t want people to say those things about me. Who knows, the guy I heard joking about me not being disabled when he saw me stand could’ve heard those same things that my mother said from his mother. I think she believes that she’s defending me somehow by saying what she said about that person. I don’t know how she came to that conclusion. Though it is on me that I didn’t tell her how this all hurt me when she asked. I was really upset and I probably would’ve started sobbing if I opened my mouth haha. I really wish I had the ability to walk away from conversations. Whenever we disagree on things I’ve learned to just give up on debating her because I never win and it just causes so much more conflict and stress. She caught me texting my friend about what she was saying (because I know that there’s no one in my family that would care to understand my side) and got upset at me for saying “horrendous” things about her. As if I was lying. I don’t know how to end this post. I just want to feel like I’m not overreacting or something.

I went to recieve an evaluation to determine if I was still disabled enough to recieve benifits (though my conditions are perminent) and I was told I wasnt aproved to recieve benifits BESIDES the ones I already recieve. Now its good ill continue to get what Im already getting but I was told that the reason for it was to update records (even tho my condition doesnt change lol) but when I saw the reason the dissapproved for me recieving more benifits was because Im still able to work, which is fine. But they claimed I said on 04/2024 that I wasnt able to work, which doesnt make since because 1. I never made that claim, and 2. I LITERALLY MADE 11 MONTHS AT THE JOB I WAS WORKING DURING THAT TIME ! Im worried theyll use this as an excuse in the future to cut my beneifits but mabye im just crazy. I feel like they are trying to find any excuse to cut people going into 2027

Has anyone else observed that ableism, whether casual, or intentional, is more acceptable on the right and the left since Trump regained power in 2024?

I'm not sure if this is just me or if this is a thing, but I'm hearing more ableist rhetoric from even progressives and democrats than in the recent past. For instance, the language around AI is littered with ableist tropes, such as it's a crutch, it'll disable your, or even that its effects on the brain are that of brain damage. I'm, not an AI supporter, but find these arguments to be annoying and lazy. Overall, though, I'm hearing disability used as an insult more often and have even experienced overt discrimination such as being called the R word(I have a speech impairment from Cerebral Palsy).

M/41 (get told I look much younger)

I have severe mobility issues on my right side due to a car accident 3 years ago. Up until three months ago I continued to work (electrician) at my 'normal' rate but looking back I should have reduced my hours and I was just 'pretending' i was 'fine' and could still do what i used to.
I ended up ended up having a severe mental breakdown and can barely leave the house now due to anxiety and my mobility just adds extra strain on leaving the house. My wife has been AMAZING and supports me when im having bad days (emotionally and physically)
My doctor and therapist has said I need to take time out and not be so hard on myself.

Sadly, during this time we had to move (Old landlord was selling up) and I have moved into a property owned by my friends father. Just before moving two of our neighbours (who weren't very nice tbf) kept making jokes at my expense. Normally along the lines of "Have a good day at home? I'm paying for it". It was a 'joke' that had a really nasty undertone to it. to cut an already long story short it made me feel like absolute shit.

Since moving in I barely go out or even venture into the garden. The ONE time I went into the back garden my new neighbour popped his head over the fence and started chatting. he was lovely etc but seemed VERY focused on my financial situation. I managed to change the subject (Well, my dog did) so didn't have to answer.

Apparently two of our neighbours (from my friends dad telling me) are planning on coming around for a cup of tea (id rather they didn't lol).

I don't want to say I am off work or go into my disability and issues, especially when im hoping to return to work next year.
Does anybody know what I can say? My wife said "You should say you sell things on vinted" or "You do online electrician courses". However, my anxiety is worried they'll want to see my 'store' or my webpage etc.

Does anybody know of any other jobs I can say I do that don't require me to leave the house or them check up?

Any other ideas except "mind your own business you nosy bastard" lol.

I have this problem. I could be saying a sarcastic comment and people would take it seriously and answer as if I didn't know it already, and most times I feel like they think I'm dumb because the things I joke about are super obvious. And yes, I exaggerate my sarcasm tone to make sure they notice I'm not being for real, but they still do.

And I wonder if they think I'm being serious for being disabled, because maybe they think disabled people can't tell jokes(?) or maybe I'm too autistic to know how to properly do a sarcasm comment, idk. Have you ever experienced people taking you too seriously?

Edit: For context, my disability is very visible, think of something like facial paralysis. So i always have people treating me "differently" or thinking I'm cognitively impaired before even knowing me. That's why I think that it could be disability related, but maybe I'm just paranoid at this point lol.

East coast US

I have a surgery soon where I'll be overnight inpatient at least 1 night.

Am I good to bring my prescription meds in my med organizer and take when and how I typically do after surgery?

Do I need to have the hospital administer those same drugs out of their collection?

I have some not easily available meds and a compounded one, so idt that's entirely possible.

How does this work?

I am very tired and truthfully don't know how long I can keep doing this

I am partially deaf, autistic and physically disabled yet i seem to be the problem

We've had meetings and requesting reviews but they take time and I feel I'm going up the wall while waiting

How long do I give for responses?

So far I have had:

No acsess to my classroom, because the lift was broke before I started (wanted to put me on my own)

The Teaching assistant repeatedly laughing, giggling and whispering despite being reminded I'm hoh/deaf

Heatstroke

My tutor lying about knowledge of said EHCP

My tutor also refused to support or accomodate me without a plan

No personal evacuation plan despite being on the fourth floor

The Teaching assistant having a go at me for asking for more support

Harrasment from other students

And this doesn't include the various meltdowns I'm having,the snarky comments from other staff/students either.

They fixed the lift eventually but proceeded to not tell me as everyone ran upstairs and I couldn't get it working so I was on my own. (Security needed)

I cannot even get permission to get upstairs on my own..I have to "wait for staff"

Edit:

I am being viewed as completely incapable of anything and I'm at my limit I'm just so broken

My target set by the tutor was to "Make choices indepdently"

..I'm a full grown adult who pays bills..

My condition is such that I can only be upright in a semi-fowlers position of about 30-45 degrees.

I'm having sudden eye trouble.

How can I get an eye exam if I can't sit upright and require ambulance service or a reclined wheelchair to get anywhere?

Thanks for any info.

What should I be doing now to make my life easier post-op?

I'm getting a feeding tube placed for the 1st time.