r/disability

I'm really curious about this as a person who has been disabled from birth. Of course, I'm not saying only people who become disabled later are ableist (duh). Internalized ableism is one heck of a monster I've had to deal with and still am dealing with. But still, I assume there are parts of the experience that are different across the two camps?

I will be going to a museum that does not allow food or drink on or around the museum. The problem is that my friend will need medication that would go bad in the car and drink/pudding to take it with. The museum does not allow food or drink on the property but there is no way to leave it as she has to have it. What should I do? I would not need a fridge or anything, just the ability to have the medication and drink on the property. I live in the US so how would I approach explaining that to the museum?

Title basically, I wonder how many people here really dislike ableds, I always find it odd how people don't seem to mind queer people saying they hate all cishets but when I start voicing my admittedly harsh opinions about abled people and especially abled doctors it's apparently a problem? Thoughts?

Hello all!! I’m a physically + mentally disabled philosophy student and I just got confirmation that I’ll be involved in my school’s Thesis program. I want to write my thesis on Critical Disability Theory, specifically on the definition of Ableness. Who gets to define it, the parameters of it, and the fact that the way we define ableness now just serves to socially other disabled people, as well as keep it difficult for those who are disabled to even get support for it.

I’m in the extremely early phases of my thesis which means im in the research and reading stage, which is why I’ve turned to you all!! If any of you have read (or written) something about disability that you find interesting, I’d LOVE to get the recommendation. While my focus is in books/articles/essays that have a foot in theory, if there’s a fiction book that centers disability in a relevant or interesting way, I’d love to know about those as well!

I have a principle with myself that I will try and make workplaces/places I go more friendly for other people with disabilities. We all know how exhausting it gets to constantly advocate for yourself, the least I can do is advocate for others.

My ideas:

• Dyslexia font option, and writing my documents with one normal and one with the dyslexia font
• Creating mods for games that add dyslexia font or help with colorblindness
• Mods or edits in movies/shows/games that cut out or dim the flashing lights (a warning is one thing, but it also makes the thing inacessible as I understand it?)
• Advocating for extra lifts/ramps on train stations/places where I don't see any (when the elevator is out of order, I'm screwed)
• Mods for games that make you able to play them entirely with one hand (mouse or keyboard)?
• In team games where there are colors, I ask if anyone is colorblind beforehand (some people wouldn't speak up when they couldn't see the dots on the HUD because I'd chosen a color they couldn't see well)

Alternatively, what would help if others did for you?

So basically, ive had chronic knee pain since i was fresh 15, now im almost 17. I have really bad hypermobility (diagnosed, and no my knees somehow dont oberbend but doc said its still bc of hypermobility) BUT my father, who never goes to appointments w me thinks ive been faking for almost 2 years and my mother just ignores my problems. Whenever i mention my problems, they yell at me that i should exercise but ive been in PT for half a year and also in physical rehab for half a year, and been exercising 3x a week for 30 - 50 minutes for a year and it didnt help. In a month and two weeks pr smth like that we will be going to Prague, and im desparate to get a smart crutch by then bc if i dont i will not be able to go anywhere due to my pain. Ive been trying to get it for over a year now but since im a teen all i get from my PT is “yeah, you do need a cane or a crutch, but youre too young. What will people think?” YES, THATS ME QUOTING HER. Walking for too long (1+ hours) makes me flare up pretty bad, sometimes i cant even move my legs. I tried a using a cane from a friend and it helped but i think i really need a smart crutch. What should i do? How do i make my doc listen to me?

It’s been almost a year since I had to quit my last job. I collapsed one day and couldn’t walk nor stand. It took almost 6 months of physical therapy to be able to walk short distances. I actively feel my legs getting weaker with every step i take. I need income, I’m living with my mom right now but we need more money. I want to get a job but i feel like I wouldn’t be able to do them. I can’t stand for long periods of time, i cant walk for 2 hours without feeling like my legs are giving out on me (that’s with multiple breaks and just walking not carrying or pushing anything), i cant push things uphill because i wont be able to lift my legs up enough and i feel my toes scraping the ground, tbh i cant push anything for even moderate amount of time without my legs starting to shake. I cant even sit down for some time because my feet go numb and will turn purple(sometimes completely paper white) or my entire hip and leg will get pins and needles and eventually become numb. I also cant drive. I have to move around constantly even tho it’s exhausting. I’m 20 years old with only a high school degree. I am in college getting an associate’s degree but it’s fully online, i would not be able to walk around a campus. I used to work retail. I do not qualify for so many jobs. I worked front end lead clerk at a grocery store, which was stressful, but i liked it, but i know i would not be able to do that anymore. I also have a heat intolerance that if im not careful i can break out into hives if im in the heat too long. We need more income and I want to work, i liked my job, but i dont think there is a job i could do. I was thinking about applying for disability but i doubt i would get accepted and if I do, it seems to take too long for acceptance. I dont know what to do and it’s very bothersome. We dont even know what is going on with me. Its all so stressful and truthfully makes me feel like a burden, especially because my mom cant seem to understand just how bad it is. She keeps telling me i need to find a job, her job will barely allow use to scrape by. My sister (about a year older than me) also lives with us and will get a job but shes in college too and will only be able to work part time. I hate seeing my mom so stressed out, but i also feel helpless with everything.
I do live in the USA-.-

Context: I'm 18, and live in the US. I have POTS and a suspected connective tissue disorder/EDS. I don't have many friends, so I can't really make plans with them. I also can't drive

I'm really struggling with my health at the moment. I can barely walk a few blocks due to pain caused by hypermobility (my knees hyperextend when I walk, and my ankles constantly feel like they're on the verge of twisting -- not walking related, but my entire body is super weak, and my elbows are very, very hypermobile). Even though walking is tough, bussing is an option for me

My parents (mostly my mom) have been micromanaging the LIVING SANITY AND HAPPINESS out of my life. Everything I do isn't good enough, and I just can't stand being in my home anymore; it doesn't feel emotionally safe isn't emotionally safe, and it's making my autistic burnout worse. I'm just at my wits end and need to find activities that are away from my family

I'm currently on summer break before I go to college in September. Before September, I desperately need things to do that are outside of the house (and ideally with my dog). Currently, I've been really enjoying walking to a nearby park with my dog and doing my hobbies while sitting on a bench/in the grass. This entertains me for hours, and tuckers out my dog, but I'd like more suggestions so I don't get bored.

I'm also considering going kayaking with my dog on a nearby lake.

I'm down for literally any suggestions, but here are a few things that I need solutions for (not an exhaustive list):
- low energy days
- exercise that is very low impact
- things I can do with my dog (who is dog aggressive)
- things that are free (I'm broke asf)
- places to make queer / neurodivergent friends

Some other ideas I have, but am not sure they'll work:
- Biking (My city's bike lanes are beyond sketchy)
- Swimming (I'm trans and don't feel entirely comfortable being in a bathing suit + my OCD and allergies really struggles with public pools and city lakes)

Edit: I figured out how I can swim!

Hey everyone. So my husband got a job at a federally regulated plant and is having issues with ADA accommodations.

For the last three weeks he has been trying to figure out where he can keep his Insulin and has been met with silence from the safely guy—he talked to the plants HR and finally got it sorted out today,safety guy hasn’t been doing his job and will probably get talked to.
However, he’s also been asking for accommodations for the same length of time and constantly was either ignored or told her didn’t meet the requirements for FMLA. He has diabetic neuropathy and diabetes and there are days where he physically cannot walk or close his hands because the intense pain and cramps. He had a meeting with HR today and was told that getting a modified attendance policy wasn’t “accommodations” and that he has to use his emergency time and that he again doesn’t qualify for FMLA. (Which doesn’t make sense because he got that accommodation at his last factory job and FMLA and ADA aren’t the same.)

I genuinely don’t know if this guy just doesn’t understand that he’s wrong on so many levels or really what our next steps should be. I’ve called his dr and left a message about the situation so we can hopefully get some documentation sent over about why he needs those days off where he has these flair ups but I’m not sure it’s going to make much difference tbh.

We do have an in at the big plant down the road that we can reach out to them to go above his plants hr(his direct boss.) that person is already aware of the initial situation and has filled that higher up- but we’re waiting to hear back from her to update on what happened today.

We’ve heard from other workers at this plant that as soon as they hear accommodations that they will do everything in their power to get you fired or to quit on your own.

i have a dear friend that is disabled, though i am not. i apologize if i am intruding into a space i do not belong, but i want to help her feel more like herself and would like some tips and advice. we are both 19 year old girls, when we were 16 she got into an accident and pretty much can only spend time in her bed and can only get around via wheelchair. she has little to no mobility in her left arm and leg. she unfortunately doesn't have access to the best hygiene unfortunately, so her hair often looks greasy and skin looks oily, you could imagine how that could make a teenage girl feel. i recently went over, helped her shower, cut her hair into the style she used to have and misses, and got her dressed in some clothes i crocheted her. i did her makeup as well. she said she felt the best and most like herself since the accident has happened. i told her i would look into some dry shampoos she could use and apply herself hence the only one hand available. but, what are other things she could use to help with physically appearing the way she wants? what are some cute clothes that are easily able to take on and off? i don't really know how to word what im asking. i just want to help her be able to express herself the way she feels best, so any tips or advice or anything would be appreciated. thank you in advance!

I decided to give this app a try as I am tired of mainstream dating apps, and I haven't seen many people review it.

-People have had concerns about able bodied people coming onto the app for the wrong reasons. I've seen the founders reassure people that there is a vetting process. While yes, I could choose to get verified, there was no process of vetting me before I joined. I encountered many obvious troll accounts and AI slop. There is nothing stopping someone with bad intentions from joining.

-The location feature doesn't work. I put that I only want to see people within 50 miles of my location. However, I was shown people literally all over the world, and it took quite a while to be shown anyone in my actual area.

-When someone "likes" you, there is no way to see where they are unless they disclose it in their profile. They could be in your city, or across the globe.

-I also saw many profiles of what looked to be lovely, well thought out profiles. It's clear this app still has a long way to go and I hope these issues will be resolved at some point. As of now, I feel these issues are too large for me to feel comfortable participating.

In reference to the movie soul which I feel is a good film but a brilliant message

How did you find your spark,your purpose and what is it? (Especially with disabilities)

I'll go first

For me its Surfing but I'll take anything in or on the water,I crave it constantly and live for it

I'd been doing water based activities for years but it only took one adapted sport session to find it

(I gravitated without even realising for 14+ years)

I am not just beginning my fitness journey but I had to take a real step back. More than three years ago I was diagnosed with Ankylosing Spondylitis. And before I was even diagnosed I was unable to keep up with my workouts. I didn’t have a “perfect body” before hand but I want to get back into working out.

I’m wondering if anyone has any suggestions, or knows any workouts that might help me feel better?? To add further detail, I really can’t do anything focused on lower body (no stair machine, or squats pretty much), I also do have continuous pain in my hips, back, and neck. I can do exercises but I might not be able to do them everyday.

First off please ask any questions I am open to any questions and down to talk ! Second of all, I accept any suggestions, just please be aware I already outlined my physical restrictions.

I don’t feel comfortable being out and about for more than an hour without my backpack, which has all my medical supplies/supports. I was turned away from a bar because of my bag last weekend and just now lost my bag because I was trying to carry it under my wheelchair to hide it/make it not look like a backpack at an event where the security guards at bag check yelled “if your bag has 2 straps like a backpack, you have to throw it away or leave!” I don’t know how I’m supposed to exist and take care of myself in an environment like that. I can try to tell security that it’s a medical supply bag, but sometimes when I’ve explained that I needed my water bottle for medical reasons (which I do! And I carry a doctor’s note to prove this to anyone willing to listen to me in a scenario like this) security or bouncers or whoever did not care and did not let me in with it. Maaaybe it would be different without the water bottle, but I might still have to get to the front of the line to find out, and then it’s up to the individual security guard and whether they’re in a good mood or will even let me talk to them to say “It’s my medical supplies.” Also not all my stuff looks clearly medical.

One of the important things I carry in my bag is my as-needed and evening medications in a prescription bottle, so security probably would understand that. But I also have:

*ice packs, a hand-held fan, a large water bottle, and electrolyte packets for my POTS with heat intolerance (I get that the water bottle can be a sticking point, but I’m willing to dump it out. That is not the issue here.)
*snacks because I have food sensitivities and often cannot eat the food for sale at events
*face masks, hand sanitizer, and wipes (an infection could make my chronic conditions worse, and tbh I also have contamination anxiety)
*earplugs
*pads, which I need to carry every day because I experience very unpredictable uterine bleeding due to medical issues
*sometimes a battery-powered wearable heating pad if I’m having pain that day
*tissues because my nose is always dripping
*sometimes a collapsible stool if I’m not using my wheelchair that day and anticipate that there won’t be places to sit

I don’t feel comfortable going to festivals etc. without these items, and I would need some of them still at a club or a bar. Some places have coat check, but others don’t and will straight up just send you home if you have a bag (especially a backpack, I guess maybe I could get a zippered tote bag if it would really make a difference? But I’m not confident it would).

What do I do??

Has anyone had success buying a bag that’s explicitly, visibly a medical supply bag for stuff like this or for their diabetes or pain relief supplies or whatever? Anyone have any other ideas?

I have a strange question. I am a 25 y/o AFAB person who is on disability due to mental health issues. I also have chronic pain, causing me to need to see a plethora of specialists.

I struggle to get rides to appointments, to properly schedule appointments, to remember when I was last seen, or why I had scheduled upcoming appointments. I try to use modivcare for transportation through my insurance, but have had MULTIPLE instances where they canceled my ride without giving me notice, and I missed my appointments, and luckily was able yo talk my way out of a late fee i couldnt afford. I struggle to keep track of doctors as well, as I see so many people, and have had to deal with providers quitting/moving frequently.

Is there such thing as a “care manager?” Someone who could help me stay organized, make necessary appointments, and better care for myself? I get so overwhelmed and my memory is bad due to my conditions, making keeping, attending, and scheduling appointments extremely difficult. I am on humana medicare (i REALLY dislike them, they fight me on covering most of my medications) and secondary (mclaren?) medicaid. My only living parent isnt caring enough to be involved, but he is also quite old, and i wouldnt expect that of him.

My options are quite limited, and while i try my best to make notes, lists, reminders, etc, my mental health issues get in the way of me getting myself to stick to attending and making calls. Having a almost case-manager type person to help with this would be helpful, but i am unsure if such a thing exists.

Any advice?
Thanks in advance!

Dear doctor,

Who art qualified.

Hallowed be thy title.

These symptoms here,

I hope present

In me as it is in textbooks.

Give us this day thy listening ear,

And forgive us our trepidation,

As we forgive medics who traumatise us.

And dismiss not my symptoms,

But take me seriously.

For thine is the judgement

With power and authority

To ruin my life.

Amen

—-

found this scribbled down from a few years ago while digging through an old notebook. Thought others on this sub might resonate