I was wondering if anyone else felt the same way about masking as I do. First, I do want to say that I don’t often consciously mask, sometimes ill notice myself doing it, but most of the time it’s not a conscious thing. (Making me wonder if im high masking and just don’t notice it because it’s so ingrained or low masking)

Anyway the question is, when you are masking, do you feel like allistics/neurotypicals/ other autistic people still notice that you’re autistic? Like they see that there’s something (for lack of a better word) “wrong” with you? A lot of LSN people when they talk about masking talk about being able to pass as non autistic, even if it takes a lot of mental energy and is very draining. I don’t feel like that at all. I feel like my mask is a bunch of different pieces or broken porcalain masks glued together. They don’t all come from the same mask and even when they have been cobbled together into a new mask it definitely still doesn’t look normal at all by any means. Like the pieces are all mismatched and there are cracks.

Like more normal than my actual face but not at all like a “normal” person. (Again apologies, I use it for a lack of a better word)

I was just wondering if anyone else felt like this?

i feel like when i experience intense emotion, not only negative, but also positive, i'd feel so tired and get a headache. it feels like i have the flu

I really struggle with sensory needs and an Inability to handle change. This makes me very stressed and overwhelmed and makes me have seizures and meltdowns.

Does anyone else not go outside ? Or if they have to go out they go with someone else ?

I like my safe place and stay there otherwise its really overwhelming.

Hi, It's hard as a lesbian with high support needs, I'm worried to set a profile, and when do I explain my disabilities? I feel unattractive compared to the lsn and nts lesbians, nobody wants a autistic like me unless they want to take advtange :( just bad luck.

In the past I was always scared that the way I Am no one would accept me so I accepted anyone who was into me and that was bad idea cause they are not good and abusive and only used me and treated me like a baby, but now I want someone who doesn't do that but I don't know where to start, I mean maybe not now since I live with my controlling mother but I wanna know what to do for the future.

i can't imagine not stimming. i stim constantly all the time. i can stop for maybe a few minutes if focus really really hard on it. but its so so uncomfortable and can't focus on anything else. can you (general you) stop stimming?

Hi, im the same person from the post about my mom being concerned about my stims, i dont like talking much about it but its been really confusing that since i was 12 or so it feels like my bladder is always trying to pee no matter what i keep having to go to the bathroom every 15 minutes. i went to doctors and they did a lot of scans and it all comes back as healthy and normal, but its weird because i googled and its called "overactive bladder". i cant find much saying its directly related to autism but i wanna know because if it is i have a better way to understand this and maybe explain to my parents and talk to a doctor better because they always dismiss it as just "anxiety" but i don't think it is just anxiety. Last time i got really emotional and almost begged for a solution and the doctor lady gave me some meds that make me want to pee less, i'm in brazil so i don't know the american name to those meds, but the problem is that they give me headaches and make my mouth really rubbery and dry so i hate using them, the feeling is incredibly awful to me i really don't like my mouth feeling that way. Is this common with autism? i know some people have control issues with autism but it's different it's overactive bladder, though i do lose control once in a while but it's rare i think because my body gets super convinced i'm full when i'm not.

About six months ago I started seeing a psychologist specialised in the autistic spectrum. She claimed to have experience with the whole spectrum, from non-verbal to high-functioning, and had quite a nice CV.

I was diagnosed two years ago, and I'd been seeing psychologists (existential and conversational) for about 10 years. I always had a great rapport with them and they helped me a lot, even though we didn't know about the autism back then. So I had high hopes for this specialist, hoping to close the gap with the difficult stuff.

I came to her like I used to with other psychologists: with precise questions relating to real-life situations. I explained I wanted to get better at handling those situations. She said she'd address my questions later, because she wanted me to feel good about myself first before we looked at my environment.

I went along with it, but after the 7th visit she was still just lecturing me on monotropism and alexithymia.

Whenever I told her about a painful situation I wanted a fix for, she'd just dissect what I'd explained, and lecture me on why I'd reacted the way I had.

Then she started poking at the trauma triggers I'd explicitly told her not to touch. I cried and talked about the unliving thoughts that arise in those situations.

And I watched her lose her footing.

She didn't know how to handle it. I was just sobbing and shaking — no shouting, no erratic behaviour. Not a tenth of what my husband has to cope with when I have a meltdown. I figured there was a real problem, so I decided to talk to her about it the next time.

It went quite badly. Instead of just saying she couldn't help me, she said she was "feeling trapped" by what I was asking of her. She projected a number of things onto me — I felt she needed to justify herself to herself.

The worst part was the silences.
She let several long minutes go by in absolute silence, twice. When I told her it was awkward, she just mumbled something with a look I read as "what did you expect, idiot?" She was just waiting for the 45 minutes to be over, and didn't even try to give us any closure.

Was I actually asking too much? It came down to 3 things:

• Help me find ways to explain my limitations to people when necessary, so it feels natural.
• Help me tell my husband what's happening to me when I have severe meltdowns. Help me show him when I'm reaching saturation, and how to handle me when it becomes unbearable and I resort to self-harm or dangerous thoughts.
• Help me react correctly, and get in touch with my emotions when my loved ones need help and support. Most of the time I just can't feel anything (compassion, empathy) even though I'm desperate to help — I'd take blows and give my life for them, but I can't manage to feel anything in the moment (it's delayed).

What's your experience with your therapist, and what kind of help do you receive?
Is it just lecturing and somatic stuff (she had me push against walls and do movement that didn't help — it wasn't EMDR)?

Question for my fellow autistic people…
Does anyone else ever feel like a meltdown gets… stuck?

Lately I’ve been anxiously sweating all day, shaking, feeling incredibly irritable, and carrying this overwhelming sense that I NEED a huge cry or a full meltdown to get everything out. But it’s like my brain and body won’t let it happen.

Instead, all that stress just stays trapped inside. I feel like I’m constantly on the edge, but the release never comes. Sometimes it lasts for days or even weeks before it finally breaks.

I’m not talking about being sad or having a panic attack exactly—it feels more like my nervous system is overloaded but unable to complete the meltdown.
Has anyone else experienced this? If so, what does it feel like for you, and have you found anything that helps your body finally release it?

I am in pain pretty much always. I am in pain right now, I know that I am but I struggle so hard to describe it in anyway or even pinpoint/locate it. I just sort presumed most people have a sort of low level pain at all times but it seems that’s not the case?

With most of my body’s needs I usually don’t notice until it’s at its complete limit. I’ve just sort of managed this with routines rather than body cues like I know I should eat a certain amount of times a day or use the bathroom a certain amount of times so I set a time and do it then. If I’m unable to do it at those set times I know that there is more of an urgency but I won’t get a physical signal unless I’m starving or my kidneys are poking at my back.

Usually I can just ignore the pain and it sort of fades into the background with the rest of my bodies sensations/cues and since I have a pretty high pain tolerance. I was able to do that for a while with only a few flare ups now and then. But now it’s got to the point where I can’t. I’m tired of being in pain.

I just don’t know how to describe it and I’m worried it makes me sound like I’m either faking or vying for attention and sympathy. I don’t want to wait months for a doctor’s appointment just to be humiliated or yelled at or looked like an idiot or something.

I’ve gotten some extensive blood tests recently enough to know that I don’t have any kind of deficiency or underlying issue. According to my bloods I am the healthiest boy alive.

I’m tired and I just want to lie down until it all goes away.

I am honest quite a lot and have hurt people’s feelings without meaning to quite a lot. I think then they think I did it deliberately when I didn’t. How do you know if you will hurt someone’s feelings?

I am thinking I need to talk to people less to prevent this but then I am not talking to anyone. I can’t mask. I already have no social life, just support workers. I like when I meet people who know I am not trying to hurt people’s feelings but not everyone is like this.

I'm an 18y.o autistic student from Taiwan. I've been part of the English-speaking community for a while, and I enjoy learning about new things, especially disability support systems in different countries :))

Im wondering which parts of Taiwan's support system would you like to know more about?

I'm most familiar with the education system since I'm still a student, so that's probably the area I can answer the best.

(Note: My answers may be based on my own experiences, my friends' experiences, or Taiwan's official policies.)

Before that, I'd like to share a bit of background because Taiwan's education system is quite different from those in many Western countries:

• We don't switch classrooms or classmates for different subjects. Instead, we stay in the same classroom with the same classmates throughout the school year, from elementary school through high school.

• We have both high school and university entrance exams. They work similarly: both are national exams, and each school or major has its own required score. However, the lowest requirement scores change every year depending on applicants' exam results and how students rank their preferred schools and majors.

Lastly, English isn't my first language, so please forgive any mistakes I make. If anything I say is unclear, feel free to ask for clarification and do not assuming I meant something negative.

Hello

Bronco back with a question.

I have question about job.

I have the autism with 2 in it which I was told was source of my issues.

I am expected to work. And I’d really like to work. I long to be useful.

Problem is that I have severe sensory issues and some physical issues. The sensory issues is always been bad. It’s not a burnt up issue or something I can move past, I have very sensitive baseline unfortunately.

I get physically ill feel like vomiting and headache and nauseous and eyes throb and dizzy when I’m under the fluorescent tube lights or environment with strong smells. I fall over when I get bumped accidentally balance just go away. And sounds are so painful that I sometimes have my legs give out and feels like brain stabbing. Combinations of sensory sensations cause meltdowns or shut down and feel ill and wish I could disappear and quit suffering.

My physical issue is guessed to be caused by autism cause it never diagnosed. Have hard time standing for long periods it is very tiring. I also have pain from joints that is quite crippling when I use them. And I’m unable to lift heavy things.

I don’t know if this also sensory issue I get extremely nauseous and eye throb and headache and dizzy from computer screens.

I try study for a career that turns out to have only computer use to work in that and it will make me feel this awful way every day of life I say no can’t do this I need other thing.

To find a job that is not required strength, have no fluorescent lights, no bad smell, no loud noises, and no computer is hard. I can’t be in most offices before I have to cover face or become completely zombie state and then they might as well fire me for rightly being unproductive employee.

Trades is out because I can’t even be on an active construction site due to extreme noise sensory even with ear protection it horrid. And I can’t lift much from physical issue.

I can’t be customer service or phone secretary because I have unreliable speech and I am often confused and navigating other people would be difficult or impossible at times.

Additionally I’m very slow, and I need instruction one at a time. I also can’t work full time.

But my strength is love for animals. And I’m very good with hands. Have great attention to detail and ability to make intricate things. Like to make intricate plushies.

I would like advice. Is there a job I haven’t thought of? Right now I consider becoming model maker or work with animals in some way, but I’d have to find a place that doesn’t have fluorescent lights.

Any recommendations or suggestions is fine. And I do need to find something, not working is not an option. But last time I try forcing myself through unsuitable jobs I had severe meltdowns that scarred me badly and I was having suicidal thoughts daily which make me very ashamed to even admit but I try to be honest in the hope that there will be some idea I have not considered.

Sometimes feel sad and upset and useless like other may think I’m lazy because I’m just in home trying to decide what to do with life. I had university working on but don’t have degree and quit my program from lack of support, lack of energy from the intense workload, and not wanting to work in chosen field picked in high school before I even knew what I getting into.

Please any advice much appreciate thank you so much for reading a considering.

just not sure if maybe IBS or something or just related to autism. tummy always hurts so much.

I'd like to not have a headache again....

feel embaressed. mom has to brush my hair. i want to do it myself but it is so overwhelm

I feel bad I’m getting sick of 4th of July I don’t want it it’s bad for me it’s bad here by my home it’s a lot bad it goes on and and on and on no stop at all up to like 2 am I don’t feel good someone dm me or talk to me I can’t take it 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢 im going to be sick 🤢 I can’t take I can’t I was in the ER I can’t take more I can’t I can’t!!!!!!!!!!