u/Alert_Basket8614

Hello, I know it might sound stupid and childish, but I'm really tired of receiving late birthday gifts for years.

I (19F) have been living abroad after finishing middle school, which has been more than 4 years. During these years, I could only receive my birthday gifts from my friends and boyfriend in my home country during the Christmas holidays (which is about 3 months late after my birthday) when I came back because the shipping fee to my place is quite expensive.

I feel really anxious this year, as I'm turning 20 and finishing a big project, which is a milestone for me. However, I am not able to come back to my place this year for some reasons. I really envy people around me who can celebrate their birthdays on time. I am happy that they remember my birthday and always prepare thoughtful gifts, but I can't feel the joy of celebrating my birthday because it's always too late.

I don't know what I can do.

I really love gifting and receiving gifts from people around me, including my friends and family, etc. I don't mind spending money and time on them because I love them and want to make them happy. I find it joyful after they give me positive responses to my gifts.

However, I only get very few gifts, and sometimes this makes me feel empty and stressed. I am really afraid this will keep happening on my next birthday. I know it sounds ungrateful, but I only received a video game character plush from my bf, which was much cheaper (around 1/4 of the price) than the gift I prepared for him, which has annoyed me for months because I know he has the ability and no issues to prepare a better, more mindful gift. Also, he knew that I didn't really like that game. (P.S. I don't hate or dislike that game, just not my type.)

I know some people might suggest that birthday is just a normal day, but I really want to be happy on that day. Does anyone else feel the same way?