u/Limp-Confusion4206

Hello

Bronco back with a question.

I have question about job.

I have the autism with 2 in it which I was told was source of my issues.

I am expected to work. And I’d really like to work. I long to be useful.

Problem is that I have severe sensory issues and some physical issues. The sensory issues is always been bad. It’s not a burnt up issue or something I can move past, I have very sensitive baseline unfortunately.

I get physically ill feel like vomiting and headache and nauseous and eyes throb and dizzy when I’m under the fluorescent tube lights or environment with strong smells. I fall over when I get bumped accidentally balance just go away. And sounds are so painful that I sometimes have my legs give out and feels like brain stabbing. Combinations of sensory sensations cause meltdowns or shut down and feel ill and wish I could disappear and quit suffering.

My physical issue is guessed to be caused by autism cause it never diagnosed. Have hard time standing for long periods it is very tiring. I also have pain from joints that is quite crippling when I use them. And I’m unable to lift heavy things.

I don’t know if this also sensory issue I get extremely nauseous and eye throb and headache and dizzy from computer screens.

I try study for a career that turns out to have only computer use to work in that and it will make me feel this awful way every day of life I say no can’t do this I need other thing.

To find a job that is not required strength, have no fluorescent lights, no bad smell, no loud noises, and no computer is hard. I can’t be in most offices before I have to cover face or become completely zombie state and then they might as well fire me for rightly being unproductive employee.

Trades is out because I can’t even be on an active construction site due to extreme noise sensory even with ear protection it horrid. And I can’t lift much from physical issue.

I can’t be customer service or phone secretary because I have unreliable speech and I am often confused and navigating other people would be difficult or impossible at times.

Additionally I’m very slow, and I need instruction one at a time. I also can’t work full time.

But my strength is love for animals. And I’m very good with hands. Have great attention to detail and ability to make intricate things. Like to make intricate plushies.

I would like advice. Is there a job I haven’t thought of? Right now I consider becoming model maker or work with animals in some way, but I’d have to find a place that doesn’t have fluorescent lights.

Any recommendations or suggestions is fine. And I do need to find something, not working is not an option. But last time I try forcing myself through unsuitable jobs I had severe meltdowns that scarred me badly and I was having suicidal thoughts daily which make me very ashamed to even admit but I try to be honest in the hope that there will be some idea I have not considered.

Sometimes feel sad and upset and useless like other may think I’m lazy because I’m just in home trying to decide what to do with life. I had university working on but don’t have degree and quit my program from lack of support, lack of energy from the intense workload, and not wanting to work in chosen field picked in high school before I even knew what I getting into.

Please any advice much appreciate thank you so much for reading a considering.

Hello.

I want to know for people who use transit alone or can’t use it alone.

What reason is it that you can or can’t?

I have taken transit alone when I have pre planned written map and only take same route. If I get off wrong stop I am lucky if I can get where I go. Even when it goes well I’ve had meltdowns that I ended up with infected scrapes and I so ashamed I just tell everyone I fell, because it’s true but also I’m quite sure it because I chewed skin off accident meltdown.

I also frequently space out or forget and then miss stop.

Having to pay attention whole time so draining I feel irritated and shut off when I arrive.

Walking outside alone this all happened too by the way, but transit worse because people and loud and smell even though I have ear protection.

I told I need to be able to use transit for job and go places myself and I know this. I badly badly badly want to be independent.

I force myself to go out and do it anyway, but it negatively affects my physical and mental health from all the accidental meltdowns (I don’t scream or cause public distress as far as I know it’s just finding I’ve bled all over and horrify myself after). I hate hate hate it.

When other person go with it’s better not happen. Sometimes other person depends person can be overstimulating person but usually better.

Why is it so hard? I understand how it works, you get on the one going where you go and it take you there.

So why I have awful time does it get better?

How do you manage? And if you don’t why can’t you? If you do, were you always good with alone travel?

The thing is my loved ones know I struggle and I’ve admitted my difficulties of finding blood all over me after I can’t control it sometimes I have bump on head or bruise and I scared but I do go anyway because I can’t be doing nothing every adult need have job and go out and I must learn this I’m told and I want to I really do. So why so hard. I’m so sad and scared it like this for ever. Spent too many nights crying hate feel helpless. Told I’m smart and I’ll figure out but I know how transit works I just don’t know how to not have distressed time of it or feel so used up when I arrive that I’m only half or not functioning at event or job, and have itchy burning scars from infections that never same even after years.

Bad bad bad

Hello, iPhone 14 user
I use my phone’s live speech part of the time due to speech difficulties. Due to my own voice permanently lacking inflection, volume, and ability to work consistently the personal voice I recorded is not very good, and not the most clear when used with live speech. But my family likes that one that it sounds like me.

However when taking calls, booking appointments on the phone, and interacting with general public, I prefer the Siri voice, for its clarity, volume, and natural pronouncing of words.

Every time I have to change between them I have to open settings, scroll to accessibility, scroll to live speech, and then drag on preferred voice order. Naturally this is complicated when I have an incoming call I cannot easily do all this fast as I have to answer it.

I’m looking for a way I can create a faster method. Such as a shortcut that I can pin to home page that opens the preferred voices page under settings, or a button that does this in control center or in my assistive touch menu.

I have looked everywhere online and can’t find a way to do this fast swapping of voices.

Any advice is appreciated.

Hello
I am person who always have unreliable talking. For whole life I have time of good talking, time that it difficult, and time when it is impossible or I force myself to say something anything even if it wrong if other person demanding answer. This happen randomly, of course the environment does affect it somewhat, but often it’s just unreliable and nothing I can do.

I was never understood as a child so I had to make every effort to hide the difficulty to be showing as normal as possible, in school I didn’t talk at all, and failed out of each grade until parents removed me, I simply refused to go. So then it was better and I got an alternate education. Back then teachers always tell family I don’t talk I’m very shy and everyone think it just my personality and because of my gender. My family all know me and between my efforts to hide all my autism that got criticized and in trouble and them just seeing it as me, they always assume that I’m just quiet person.

For example family will often be having whole conversation and if sitting on picnic bench I have to sit on the side because I don’t participate and if I sit in the middle then I end up having both sides talking too loud in each ear because they speaking to each other over my head and I have nothing to say so I just sit there. Rarely engage in conversation.

If I’m asked question I usually answer but if I have difficulty finding words I will either say something that sounds like it can be the correct thing even if it’s not what I want or say I don’t know which frustrate everyone. But I use that one more often cause I feel more uncomfortable letting my mouth say plausible but untrue words it feels like lying, and my family are sometimes better at understanding my autism these days so it feels wrong to lie when mouth words is not how I feel. So usually it’s just I don’t know.

They say that talking isn’t optional, it’s necessary for life. And I agree, but my unreliable speech is not a choice. It’s not some fun little game, it is stressful and been there for decades and not something I chose or would wish on anyone.

And when I talk I feel like often I sound like a child. I don’t have nearly the same vocabulary or eloquence as I do in text. I also have very weak voice, whole life it been weak and easily talked over, I am rarely able to be heard even if I happen to have the words when I go to louder environments I can’t make volume loud enough my voice cracks and hurt and sounds really broke.

I never heard of AAC, ever in my life. But maybe four month ago I went through my phone setting when I was transferring phone, because I wanted everything exactly the same on new one, and I discover the accessibility that allow a person to use the phone to talk. It was mind blowing and I was also incredibly embarrassed by my desire to even want it.

My whole life it was signalled to me both directly on occasion and often indirectly that my autism traits were just bad personality flaws and as a result my self worth is heavily tied to my ability to meet others expectations. And in my family speech is very valuable and admired.

As an adult trying to navigate situations alone without speech it can be really hard. Sometimes I can’t do something even if it’s important or health related. But a month ago there was a bad emergency with family pet and it was on me to arrange for vet visit. And my voice was not there and vet hang up and I was terrified and my fear of the pet bad happen make my embarrassed go away and I use my phone to call again and I use my phone to talk instead. And they listened to me. They listened better than I’ve ever been understood on a phone call. I felt heard and understood and so happy I want to cry.

So I ask my brain specialist I can’t remember what they called right now, the one who knows autism and know me, if it ok to use phone to talk sometime because sometime I can’t and specialist she know that I better in text and often had the messages I send when I can’t say what I want to say I correct myself in text box or text more detail. And said to me that as long as I try real voice first it ok to use phone voice, the trying and interactions matter more than method.

And I’m delighted because after I tell family about this the one want me to use when I need it cause they know me and see my difficulty and how I get talked over and unheard and misunderstood often.

My question is, when using this talking phone, for the first time as an adult, how do i know when to use it. Should I only use it when I can’t talk? Or can I use it if I can talk but it’s difficult and I feel like my brain is disconnected from mouth because head and mouth words are being different even though everyone else think I’m fluent?

Also because I’m so used to being unheard, and because I also have adhd and interrupt people accidentally because I can’t hear gaps in conversation, I am a little afraid if I use a phone voice at proper human volume if others will be annoyed and think I’m rude because my timing has always sucked but it never matter because even if I interrupted my stammering and quiet voice was never loud enough for others to notice so I don’t have experience with being a large presence in the conversation. How to use phone voice so I don’t drown others out the way I was whole life?

And other question, when out in public because it’s got spontaneous interactions and is fast paced, and different from a phone call where I can think about what I want to say and type it up to be sent quickly, how do I avoid people getting mad at delay? For example if I was in line to order a drink, I’d usually just say the one word of what I want because my processing is so delayed that I never hear them greet me until after they ask me what I want, and if I couldn’t talk at all then I’d walk away. In restaurants I’d point at what I wanted on menu and family say for me. If I have a phone voice and busy line, do I bother with pleasantries because I can, or is this going to make others angry because it will take time to type?

And for shop used to customers who speak, seeing me pull out the phone and start tapping they might yell at me before I have chance to press send and phone to speak, assuming I’m answering text and holding up the line.

And last question, I tried research option and found Weave chat app free and icon based. And I’m picture person I like visual however phone screen is small and only layout that make the readability has sub folders some words need to be clicked on to reveal others and I’m slow learner and it feels confusing and frustrating and not at all intuitive so I try putting whole picture words boxes into full arrangement but I think it meant for computer because on my screen I not even able to read or see the boxes so small. So I use text to speech on phone, but sometimes the typos slow me down and I think if I had good symbols in way that I understood it could be faster. Which one is better the text to speech or symbols?

Sorry for such long post I felt like some context was needed, for most accuracy of situation. All advice and experiences welcome. I have never in whole life met anyone who use a device instead of or in addition to talking, so I have nobody to ask directly.

So sad so sad I make eggs in stove pan I watch whole time I remember turn off and family do mad they say I leave on and stove hot and almost fire and that I have to find way to remember and never leave kitchen but I not leave the kitchen and I do sure I turn it off and turn out I didn’t and I feel like bad bad human I can’t stop crying and I scared to go home cause they won’t appreciate my crying but there’s plan to go out today soon and I have to go back but can’t stop crying why is it always forget something and then my making up problems looking for problems and something I need to not let happen why anyone choose to make this happen it make me sad that so easy for them and I feel so sad it never working for me but expected to make it work and bad bad bad