r/CPTSDFreeze

like yeah dissociation is a big one but what else helps you guys? i’m in the same boat

I used to think something separated me from other people that made certain human experiences 'not for me'. I used to think it’s a quality of mine

But thawing made me realize a huge chunk of my life was just left undeveloped and a lot of common things trigger a sense of grief, displacement and sometimes, only sometimes when processed very well, a sense of longing

For a child’s brain it was easier to process certain things by making up a logical reason for it, even going so far as to attribute the abstinence to my personality

But now I find all those buried desires have come up to the surface along with a lot of jealousy, bitterness, understanding

Very surgical, very precise type of healing work of dealing with emotions and also very tiring

The more you set boundaries and standup for yourself the more the relationship is strained. The more they become openly hostile to you. The more they band together against you.

I know maybe that is just freeze in other words, but I mean I am constantly in my head about what I can be doing, should be doing, etc. My mind is scattered with all this ‘can and should’ be’s but feel totally incapable of starting anything.

I have 1000 lists of these things. Random things I find interesting, random pieces of information and advice I’ve heard, just whatever the hell. But naturally as a freeze type this is just more paralysing, and I feel overwhelmed and inadequate for achieving nothing at all. I know I should be more gentle with myself and not have large goals, and focus more on coming out of survival mode, but even that requires a certain level of mental discipline and organisation that I feel like I lack.

Anyone else? What do you guys do about it?

Hi. I've been dealing with depression and anxiety for years, and only recently got officially diagnosed with cptsd. I am generally ok with skills and manage well enough. I try to be proactive in recognizing flashbacks and occasionally writing things down. Every now and again, I'll fly a little too close to the sun and eventually get a longer flashback triggered, and then it can be a whole couple of days of feeling like crap again. What do you guys do when you can see 'the storm' coming?

Or are you still in such dire straights that you keep holding out hope that they will help you. Or they trickle out little bits of help to string you along so they can feed their ego and continue hurting you?