r/Petloss

It has been roughly six months since I had to put down my golden retriever due to aggressive cancer. In the beginning, the support system was incredible. Friends checked in, coworkers sent nice messages, and my family was incredibly understanding when I completely fell apart. But there is this invisible timeline for grief that society expects you to follow, and I have clearly blown past it.

Lately, the people around me have started losing their patience. When I mentioned last night that I still cannot bring myself to walk down our old route near the park, a close friend just sighed and told me it has been half a year and that he was just a dog. He said I need to snap out of it or just go get a new puppy to fill the void. It felt like a punch to the gut. It is not like a broken appliance that you can just replace at the store.

I find myself hiding my emotions now just to make everyone else comfortable. I cry in my car on the way home from work so my roommates do not think I am unstable. The silence in my apartment is deafening, and his old water bowl is still sitting in the kitchen corner because moving it feels like a final betrayal. I am trapped in this loop where the acute shock is gone, but the flat, grey emptiness is a permanent fixture.

My family acts like everything is back to normal because I smile during dinner, but I am just performing at this point. It is exhausting to pretend that you are completely fine when you still expect to see a wagging tail every time you turn the lights on .

I guess people just do not get that the bond does not have an expiration date. I am tired of being told to move on by people who have never experienced this specific type of emptiness.

I picked up my little Topaz's ashes on Monday, cried like a baby. Tuesday I took her for our last walk together on one of our two favorite trails, carrying her ashes with me, and yesterday I did the same on our other favorite trail. More tears, for sure, but one or two quiet smiles along the way when I could see her stopping to sniff at something, look around at a sound, or look back over her shoulder at me with that "Let's keep going" look on her face. I found myself talking to her like I was holding the end of her lead...and not this little box I wound up clutching to my chest as we got back to the car for a ride home. This tiny little box I can't stop looking at without tearing up.

I know that may seem weird but I promised her those two last walks and we didn't get to do them before she just couldn't anymore and she left for the other side. I had to keep that promise, and somehow keeping it feels like it helped - just a little. I'm very much not ok, but after those walks I think I will be in time.

Shared pain is lessened, shared joy is increased. Thus do we refute entropy. - Spider Robinson

She was an extremely special girl, I would hear her jumping at night and see her staring at me when I woke up in the morning. I loved feeding her and seeing her come up to me and watch me do things throughout the day. She died in a horrible freak accident and I still cant get over it. Her life was absolutely stolen from her and I think about it every day. She jumped into a planter within her tank and got stuck upside down, with just enough water over her to let her breathe. I cant say more. Its just too hard. It was the perfect fit, it was exactly her size. Sk much so that I didnt even think about it being a danger. She passed away while I was out of town. It hurts so bad, I miss her so much. I miss my franklin. I have a new baby, her name is momo. I love her dearly, but nothing compares to the bond that frank and I had. I lost her entirely too soon, and found her stuck in the worst way. Im sorry frankie. She was a huge, amazing, adorable fish with a shy and sweet personality. I wish I could bring her back to life

Today, I’m writing this as a way to begin accepting and coming to terms with the loss of my sweet mini schnauzer, Penny… or more affectionately known as Pen-Pen, Pea-Pod, Bubbity, and a few other nicknames by those who loved her most.

She passed peacefully in our backyard on Thursday night (May 14, 2026).

I’m struggling because, on one hand, this shouldn’t have come as a surprise. She was diagnosed with cancer in June of 2024, and we made the difficult decision to move forward with a surgical procedure to reduce the tumor, something the vet told us might extend her life by another 6 to 18 months. So I knew we were living on borrowed time. But the way it happened was nothing like I had imagined or tried to prepare myself for.

Growing up, and even for my wife, saying goodbye to pets usually followed a similar path: old age, gradual decline, and eventually making the incredibly difficult but compassionate decision to ease their suffering. It was always painful, but it felt like the right thing to do. This is what I had been preparing myself for over the last 20 months. With Penny, it was different.

She went about her day last Thursday like nothing was wrong. That night she went outside, and 15 minutes later, I found her lying in the grass. I like to believe I got to her in time, that she knew I was there, that she wasn’t alone. But everything happened so fast, I can’t say for certain. In moments like that, your mind struggles to hold onto what really happened.

It’s only been a week, but I find myself counting each one. Every evening around 7:30, the time she passed, I quietly mark another day without her. What hurts the most is the thought of her memory slowly fading over time. There’s a line in the Fleetwood Mac song “Storms” about “your softness fades away,” but to me, it feels like the opposite. Penny’s sharpness, the vividness of her presence, is what fades, and that’s what scares me. I truly feel like a piece of my heart has been taken, one that can never be replaced.

The smallest things catch me off guard and pull me right back into grief. She was part of my life for nearly 14 years. We got her just three days after our wedding, so my entire daily routine was built around her. Now, everything feels quiet and empty.

If you know mini schnauzers, you know how deeply they bond with “their person.” Penny chose me. I was her human. Especially over the last two years, she was my shadow, always by my side. And I loved that more than I can put into words. She was a family dog, absolutely. My wife and kids loved her, and she loved them. But she was mine in a way that’s hard to explain unless you’ve experienced it. Losing her has hit me differently, and in ways I’m still trying to understand.

Yesterday, something happened that brought me a small sense of comfort. I was sitting on the front porch, trying to change up my routine a bit, when a black and blue butterfly flew right up to me and landed on the back of my thigh. I honestly thought I imagined it. But when I stood up, it was still there, just resting on me for a good 20–30 seconds before flying away. I tried to get a picture, but it left just before I could. I want to believe that was Penny. Or at least a sign letting me know she’s okay, and that it’s okay for me to be okay.

I wanted to share my story after reading so many others about grief, understanding, and acceptance from people who have loved and lost their pets. Those stories have helped me more than I can put into words during these early days. They’ve reminded me that I’m not alone, and that there are so many others who have gone through this, and many who are going through it right now. I miss you so, so much, my Penny.

It's been 6 days since my baby passed and I am not coping well. It is manifesting physically where I would get panic attacks an my head and face feels tingly and numb like I am about to constantly pass out. Only relief is by crying but there are times where I could not and would just sit on this heaviness and pain. I feel like I am sick. We will be picking up her ashes later and I fear for my response.

does it ever get better? How did you cope?

I lost my dog Marvin to metastatic lung cancer after 9 years together, and losing him completely shattered me. About a year and a half later, I was finally able to open my heart again and got a 3-month-old puppy for free. His name was Bruno, and he honestly helped heal a part of me that I thought would stay broken forever.

He was so full of life and happiness. With Marvin, I was growing up while raising him, so there were things I couldn’t afford or fully understand yet. But with Bruno, I tried to do everything “right.” I took him to the park, daycare, training classes, the dog park, even a dog carnival. I got him good food, probiotics, a running water bowl — I truly tried my best to give him the happiest, healthiest life possible.

Then one random day in March, he threw up around 7 times in one day. I rushed him to the vet immediately. They did an X-ray and said they didn’t see a blockage, so they gave him antibiotics and assumed he ate something bad. He got a little better… then worse again. Back to the vet. More antibiotics. Better for a moment, then worse again.

This became a cycle for almost two months — vet visits, ER visits, medications, weight loss, slight improvement, then right back to being sick. At one point they thought maybe he ate cat poop and just had really sensitive GI issues. I switched his food, did everything I could to ease his discomfort, and kept hoping we’d finally find the answer.

Finally, after two months, a doctor suggested an ultrasound. The ultrasound alone was $600, and by then I had already spent thousands trying to save him. I was completely tapped out financially, so I made a GoFundMe. Thankfully, people donated and I was able to get the ultrasound a few days later.

That’s when they finally found something.

But then they told me the surgery would cost $3,000–$6,000, and I completely broke down because I simply didn’t have that kind of money. A local rescue stepped in and offered to pay for the surgery, which felt like such a blessing. The vet warned me that whatever was inside him had been there for so long that there might be severe damage once they opened him up… but I was praying so hard that he’d make it through.

When they operated, they found a squeaker from a toy.

That squeaker had been inside my baby for two months.

It had attached itself to his spleen and damaged his intestines so badly that they would have had to remove too much of them for him to ever have a good quality of life. So at only 1 year and 4 months old… I had to let him go.

I am devastated.

He followed me everywhere. He cuddled me constantly. He was healing me from losing Marvin, and now I’m grieving all over again. I keep replaying everything in my head wondering what I could’ve done differently. I always threw squeakers away when I saw them ripped out, but one slipped past me. I keep wondering why the ultrasound wasn’t suggested sooner. I feel like everything went wrong at every possible step.

And the hardest part is that he was just a baby. My baby.

I loved Bruno with my whole heart, and losing him this way feels so cruel and unfair.

I guess I’m sharing this because I just want to know if anyone else has gone through something similar. Right now I cry constantly, and I feel so broken. I could really use advice, support, or honestly just reassurance that I’m not alone in this.

I lost my sweet baby to cancer on Friday after being with her for almost 13 years. I can't get the image of her dying out of my head and the horrible death rattle. She died while I held her paw. We shared a birthday and I don't know how it'll be without her this year. I'd give anything to be with her again, wishing she'd be following me around the house or napping in my room. I even miss cleaning up her accidents due to her bladder cancer. I have no one to talk to, what should I do? My heart hurts without her

My beautiful German Shepherd, Tina, passed away on Sunday. I am absolutely devastated. I found out she had cancer and 4 days later I was by her side helping her pass. I am in shock and I don’t know how to deal with this. I feel like I took her for granted. I didn’t realize just how profound our love for each other is. I owe her the world. She was there through every move, every milestone, every accomplishment. She made me feel safe and unconditionally loved. Silence fills the space where she used to be. The grief is crippling. I should’ve gotten her final moments perfect for her. No do-overs and nothing prepares you for how final everything feels. I’m so lost without my compass. She grew up with me and ended up being my guide. My heart aches constantly, longing for just one more snout kiss, getting to hold her face in my hand and see those love eyes. Such a magnificent and beautiful creature. I knew this day would be hard, but I couldn’t have ever imagined how hard it actually is. She’ll always be my goodest girl and I know she’s waiting for me, because that’s just who she is.

For 15 and a half years, I have had the best co-worker. She never complained, kept my feet warm, listened to me vent about work, encouraged me to take breaks, and reminded me a snack makes everything better. 

She was my best friend and the best co-worker. My heart is completely broken.

When he was alive I was working hard to be a better friend, do good at school, I wanted to become a web designer but now what he's gone I just dojt care. I dont care about this stupid school, I dont care about my friendships they're all stupid surface level friendships anyway, I dont care what I end up doing with my life, damn the only thing stopping me from going back to drugs is that I promised my baby I won't do it. Pirin I miss you. I've ordered a custom keychain of him, it looks just like him. This, and everything relating to him, is the only thing I care about. He passed may 17th. I didn't cry that much the first few days but I got hit with it today. I realized how much more lethargic I've become. I dont want anything but my baby back. I miss you Pirin, I miss u so much.

I lost my best friend last week and posted about it.

Truth be told, at 30 yo, this is the first death of anything that I’ve experienced on a personal level. I’ve heard friend’s family member pass away, I’ve heard people important to my parents pass away, but death has always been something that happens around me, but not to me.

Losing my first dog of 13 years, I cried for the first time in over 10 years and I cried for several days. The longing is still here, but I think I’ve come to accept that he had a very terrible last couple of hours, but I’d rather have that than him live through years of pain.

One thing that has impacted me severely though is motivation. Working from home and without him next to me, I just feel lost. My free time is just sitting on a couch and just staring at a wall. I try playing games and I play for like 20 minutes and don’t feel like it. I don’t really want to watch anything, I don’t really want to do anything particular.

So I’ve been looking into getting a new puppy. But I also think it’s too soon. I don’t think I’d think of him as a replacement, but I’m scared I will. But if I don’t get a new puppy, I feel like I’m actually going to go insane just spending my time after work just doing absolutely nothing.

My soul dog was put to sleep today. It was so peaceful, we chose at home euthanaisier. He was a rescue and has been there through everything. I miss him, I miss him following me, I miss his smell, the way he'd always be there. I loved him and I always will. I don't know how I'll cope without him. But I now feel that i failed him. I didn't want him in pain any more.

He had liver and spleen cancer, he was very anemic and breathing so fast and off his food. He had a growth on his back which was suspected sarcoma but he wasn't well enough to put under GA. We went to three different vets to find out why he was so poorly. He was finally sadly diagnosed with cancer. I don't know how they kept missing it. He collapsed previously after ga, they thought he had Addison's and we were sent on our way but he never really got better.

What's haunting me is that they said he wasn't in pain. When the vet who came today did the sedative, she said he was in pain because finally he was breathing ok after the sedative. I hate myself. I feel like I didn't advocate for him enough. I trusted the vets advice. I asked the vets if he was in pain, they said he was breathing fast because of anemia. They said the cancer couldn't be treated because it had spread. I asked them to give him pain relief and something to help him eat. But for weeks we went back and forth to different vets and I trusted them. I'm so stupid.

I didn't deserve you Benji. I'm so sorry.

Fuck cancer.

My precious 12y dog recently underwent an emergency splenectomy after a large tumour was discovered. It was a critical surgery, but he has since recovered. The tumour was sent for biopsy and confirmed to be malignant, with cancer already having spread. We were told he likely has around 3 to 6 months.

He has recovered from surgery, but I am now struggling with what to expect and how to make decisions moving forward. My priority is to ensure he does not suffer unnecessarily and that his remaining time is as comfortable and meaningful as possible.

For those who have been in a similar situation, how did you know when it was time to consider saying goodbye? What helped you navigate end-of-life care decisions for your dog?

Any advice or shared experiences would really help right now. Thank you.

My soul dog, a labrador cross, is 13. He is part of my heart living outside my body, and he is dying. I don’t know how to survive this.

He’s on weekly ketamine now for arthritis pain. Gabapentin, paracetamol and codeine as well. His stomach doesn’t tolerate NSAIDs.

He has severe muscle wasting on his back legs. He’s losing muscle on the front legs too. I can see all his ribs, his legs are like wee twigs. He’s been having overnight toilet accidents for about a year, and he eats it if I don’t get there fast enough.

He needs lifted up a lot now. Falls over/gets stuck a few times a day. He can walk a little bit but has a buggy for walks (which he loves). Has to be carried pretty regularly, over any steps etc.

But… he’s still going out his little walks, eating and drinking, toileting, asking for treats or his ball to chew. He seems happy on his little adventures but he pays for them later with exhaustion and pain. When do you know it’s time if you think your dog *isnt* going to tell you? I’ve booked him in for June 3rd - but I don’t know if it’s too early, I’m just terrified of it being too late and him going off his legs completely, being terrified and having to do it in the vet office instead of at home. I don’t want him to suffer and he is in pain despite all the meds, plus his back legs barely even work now.

What do I do? When is the right time? I can’t stop crying, I feel like I’m failing him. Please help me, I really can’t do this alone.

Just a week ago she was diagnosed with final stage lung cancer, her tumor being 40cm big, and today we let her go peacefully. She was completely asymptomatic until a month ago when it metastatized to her back leg. It was all so sudden, she was only around 9-10 years old.

She saved me from the deepest depression 6 years ago and she was my anchor; I lived for her and I want to continue on to represent her legacy in some way, but I have no idea how I'll survive. It has been just couple of hours and it already feels unbearably painful to be here without her.

People say that the pain will go away with time but I just cannot imagine that right now. She was my everything.

Her name was Sára but I always called her Čiči, and other cute petnames. Rest in peace my heart, lets meet again someday.

Today I lost my cat. She was everything keeping us together.

We found her completely unconscious on the floor this morning. Because we usually keep her in the back kitchen at every night, she died all alone.

She was completely fine the same morning, finding spots to sleep, asking our attention. We gave her some snack from those cat food tins after we came home from work.

I was in exam period, even now. And my parents are always busy with work. We always gave her as much love and attention as we could.

Things changed around afternoon, she was breathing differently, like she has a cold. I didn’t think much of it, I petted her and she reacted as she would.

By bedtime, she rushed to my room. This time her breathing worsened. I could feel her stomach or lungs ‘growling’ when I pick her up.

She waited at my door. She was asking for me. She wanted me to know she wasn’t alright, and needed companion. She trusted me.

But I failed.

She died the next morning. I was the last person she ever saw, and received the last head pat from me, reacting the same way she always did.

But I can no longer do so anymore.

 

I’m terribly sorry, Oreo.

We will always love you, and I miss you.

You always scuttled towards me when mom and dad scolded you.

When you relaxed every time I caressed your back,

when you slept with me on the sofa every quiet morning,

when you watched us go through our lives.

 

Fly high, you will always be my best cat.

Thank you for everything, Oreo.

21/05/2026

I just had to put my 13 year old girl to rest. I've had her since I was 20 and have gone through so many milestones with her. I know she's out of pain, but I can't shake the feeling that she's alone now. I know that her body isn't "her," but I need her to know that I love her, and I'm so sorry she suffered at all. I know life will go on, but I don't want her to think she wasn't special and that this loss isn't flipping my world upside down. I know I'm projecting a lot on to her, but I can't get over her not being here and leaving her behind.

Back in October, our 5 year old cat Cooper passed away suddenly and traumatically. Yesterday, we helped our old lady cat Penne cross the rainbow bridge after a brief struggle with pneumonia on top of other health issues.

The grief I feel for Penne is so different from what I feel for Cooper. At least with Penne, we knew it was coming. At least with Penne, she was old. At least with Penne, I feel the peace that I don't have to worry about her various health issues anymore.

But God, do I miss her so much.

She had so much personality. She ran the house. I knew something was wrong the day she didn't wake me up at 5:50 for breakfast. She was loud, and demanding, and dramatic. And she was such a good girl. When Cooper passed, she didn't leave my side for days. She slept with me and let me hold her whenever I cried. We always said that it was special to get to be loved by Penne, and I truly believe that.

There's this other element to it, too. When we lost Cooper, I thought there was no worse pain than that. He was my heart home, and he was so young, and it was a freak thing that happened.

But to lose another pet so soon hurts worse. I feel grief for Cooper, and I feel grief for Penne, and I feel them compounding together. The pain goes so, so deep. It physically hurts. I know I'll feel better some day, but it's hard to imagine anything beyond feeling this pain.

We've got other pets, and they're taking very good care of us. Their dedication and loyalty and love is really shining through. I'm so grateful for them.

It's just so damn hard.

My dog died just 16 days ago but it feels like a thousand years since then. I cried so much the first week. The first time I did anything was difficult. The first long drive, the first time even doing dishes or cooking something and knowing it was the first time without him. But after that first week its like I only will cry here and there, but my dog is always on my mind. Like its hard to not constantly be thinking of him in various ways but its like I am having to still do things like work or my responsibilities. When I watch a funny show or talk with friends or family and I laugh at a joke or whatever I immediately feel a sense of guilt that I'm able to laugh when the dog i claim to be my bestest friend has died. Like a sudden wave of guilt makes me reel in any happiness for anything and remember that I shouldn't have that. What if my precious dog wasn't as ingrained into me as I think and we were more just like roommates rather than two souls sharing a strong bond. Do I really even have the right to call him my soul dog when so many times I neglected him? So many times we could have gone places and we just stayed home. I wanted to give him the best life and at first I really did but the second half of his life I should have done more for him so much more. And now thats why I'm able to just move on so much quicker than I want to. Because we didn't have the bond I claim and it was all a farse I told myself. I wish he was here and I could tell him how much i miss him and how much I love him and how sorry I am for picking him from the litter with his brothers because he deserved so much more than me