How can I move on???
We just lost our sweet baby Louie, an English Bulldog. He spent nearly 11 years being the most loving dog anyone could ever have.
I’m struggling thinking about how we didn’t see any signs. We thought he was getting older and reflecting that of an older dog, but his passing was so sudden that it makes me think that he’s had ongoing health issues that we just couldn’t see. I hate thinking about the little things in hindsight and realizing he was declining. I hates knowing the vet was just at our home yesterday because we tried every possible outcome to make sure he felt better.
I met him as a puppy and was there when he took his last breath in our backyard. My dad is in shambles. The dog he didn’t want became the dog that chose him. Louie chose my dad; his Facebook account has more pictures of Louie than of my sister and I.
I can’t get the image of his body out of my head. I was there through every stage: he fought to walk, to stand, to try, and to stay. He was so weak and debilitated. I was prepared for euthanasia - to tell my parents that it was better to end his suffering. But he died as I was scratching his head telling him that it was okay. I knew he was letting go.
I choose to believe that he was a little chunky because he was full of love. I would tell everyone that Louie loves people. He loved barking at strangers from the comfort of the floor instead of chasing them. He was my childhood dog and my greatest love. He slept in my room; his snoring was my white noise. I don’t know how I will sleep without him loudly at my side. I loved his cheeks, his ears were the softest part of his face, the way he leaned into your hand when you’d scratch behind his ear. I gave him his last ear scratches as I kissed him goodbye.
To the kind man who came to pick Louie up: thank you. He made the process a little easier for my family. To my bestest friends who are always by my side and grew up with Louie too: he loves us all.
I don’t know how I’m going to move on, but I know that life does go on. I have a concert tomorrow that I’ve been looking forward to that I will be attending with my 2 best friends. I have an upcoming trip to Spain I can begin preparing for. I’m going to live life the way Louie lived his.
Thank you to the stranger reading this post.