u/637383636272829292

I let my 14 year old Whippet cross the bridge a week ago, and I'm still struggling.

He had chronic kidney disease and arthritis with Librela.

He had some spinal trauma that caused IVDD like symptoms. The vets weren't sure if it was IVDD spinal or neurological from age. He was wobbly when waking and knuckling his rear paws.

He also had end stage kidney failure and a UTI. I had him in the hospital for 5 days, and he wasn't eating or really responding to treatment. One of the ER vets said he could maybe get better with 3-4 weeks rest, but that wouldn't be feasible, and i don't know if that would've worked if he wasn't eating his kidney food.

Gotta regular vet, ER vets, and 2 more who I sought independent counsel from recommended euthanasia.

I took him home for a couple days and gave him his favourite foods, which would be bad for his kidneys. He ate a little kidney food if i hand fed and force fed, but he rejected most of it and seemed in distress.

He was wobbly and could not get up on his own, and knuckling with supported walking. I had to carry him and he'd soil himself, so if move him every 3 hours. This happened at night too, so i was just physically and mentally exhausted.

The day it was scheduled he actually got up, and seemed the slightest bit better, but still could not reliably walk. He got up on his own to poop (diarrhea) and walked 5 steps then dropped onto his bed covered in poop.

He was the slightest bit better in walking, but he was still knuckling like before. Could this be a late stage rebound, or him knowing it was the end and using his last strength?

I'm just wondering now if I soil waited to see if he'd walk better. Maybe get him that 3-4 weeks rest.

But I don't know if I could do it. I spent all my money on the hospital, and I can't work from home for a month, since he required 24/7 care. He was also in end stage kidney failure and not responding to antibiotics.

I didn't want my little buddy to suffer given all his conditions, so I thought it's what would be best, but I'm still replaying things in my mind.

Anybody else go through this?

This is so sad.

I posted a week ago, when things were looking very grim.

My girl was having an acute kidney attack after sky high kidney levels, a UTI, and paralysis in her back legs. She wasn't eating, and we thought it was over.

She rebounded a little bit, and could somewhat walk with help, but was still wobbly. Then she stopped improving. She couldn't get up on her own, and was completely incontinent, still wasn't eating. Her muscles had wasted away.

I brought her home for a last few days together, and was picking her up and moving her. I brought her favourite foods and gave her a great time.

I had a consult with an in-home euthanasia vet who said they would euthanize in my place.

Today, she tried to get up on her own, and with support getting up, held her weight for a few seconds. She's still trying to get up but she can't. But it is a little better. Now the guilt about letting her go is amplified. Do u see this through? Or do I let her go knowing that her ailments will likely make it impossible to care for her, even if she can walk a little.

Any advice is appreciated.

Hi Everyone,

My senior girl has been the light of my life.

Early this week, she got spooked by a baby bird that landed on our porch and slid down the stairs. This seemed like nothing at first, but the next day, she was having breathing difficulties, and I rushed her to the ER.

Internal bleeding. The doctors couldn't fit her in, and I managed to find one who did. She needed overnight observation and medication. I maxed out my credit cards, and left her for observation. I was told she could come home 2 days later.

I rushed over with her favourite snacks, and was shocked when she came out. She wasn't able to walk, and had diarrhea that wasn't cleaned up. I had to call a friend to help get her inside, and I could not get her to stand. I took her back to the clinic because she was clearly not ready. She wasn't eating, and I was shattered.

I visited her today, and she was still in a bad way. Neurological and spinal degeneration caused her to be unable to recognize me, or walk normally. She can go through the motions, but there isn't much there. She looks around, but doesn't eat.

Im giving her one more day, and if she doesn't improve I think it may be over. Im shocked at how quickly she went, and I blame myself for not acting quickly enough, or not being more present. Maybe it all would've happened anyway.

When I went out with her, it was with 2 vet techs, I was barely able to lift her. If I tried to take her home, I'm scared I'd drop her on the stairs and that would be it.

I feel so guilty.

I love you, and always will. My heart, my soul. My perfect Angel.

Im sorry I couldn't save you.