r/MentalHealthSupport

I made a horrible decision and allowed a coworker to love bomb me. I ended up moving in with him, stupidly. The breakup is messy. I filed an order of protection against him for swinging at me and stalking me. The police department is following through with pressing charges against him for harassment because he posted a video on Facebook mocking me and showing everyone my lingerie, personal intimate sex items, and medical papers I still had in his house. In this video he made derogatory comments about my body. Because we worked for the same company we have a lot of mutual friends. He had quit 1 week before this went down but I still am employed at the same place. So him posting this video spread like wildfire around my workplace and now everyone I work with knows what I wear to have sex and that I like butt plugs and that my nipples point in different directions and how fat I am (according to him). This video was up on Facebook for over 12 hours before it was taken down for violation of ToS.

I’m currently in the process of trying to find another job but right now my mental is just trashed. I’ve never felt this depressed. I’ve never felt suicidal but I’m at that point. The embarrassment and harassment at work is too much for me to handle.

I really need someone to just listen to me. I can’t stop crying. I can’t stop this feeling of worthlessness. I have friends who are trying so hard to support me but I still feel alone.

He’s contesting my OOP so now I have to print all my evidence and download the videos and have it on record that he said these things about me. The hearing is in 2 weeks and I don’t know if I’m going to make it until then.

How does someone even move on from this? I literally feel like a pile of shit and so worthless.

I’ve been unemployed for a while and having a serious problem finding another job, which I never expected. I’m completely broke and I’m currently living with my sister and her husband, which is ok for the moment but I doubt will be much longer. My life has basically completely fallen apart and I don’t see any way out. I’m seriously considering ending it all. Not many people will miss me

Okay, so I’ve been going through hell mentally for a while and I’m at the point where I’m either fighting god not to kill myself or too exhausted to try. For less than a week out of a month I feel okay but I still have major issues kind of struggling.

I’ve been wanting to tell a friend as a “let you know” since it’s really affecting things around me (and because I don’t want to leave them wondering if anything happens) but think I’m just wasting their time if I’m always going to come back out of it eventually anyway. It also just feels like empty space, it’s just not a progressive conversation it feels like I’m telling them I’m giving up.
They’ve got their own things going on and have let me know they are heavily focusing on themselves which I won’t go into detail on but it’s a managing symptoms and getting looked into type, I don’t think a “I’m close to killing myself btw” is a good move on my part and honestly kinda feels disrespectful and disgusting.

I’ve tried putting myself in outsiders shoes, personally I’d rather sit with someone then have them kill themselves no matter what I’m going through but I just cannot convince myself I’m of equal value or importance in a way. I don’t fully understand where others stand with pointless suicide talk hence why I’m asking here.

Is there any point in bringing this up and if so how? There never feels like a good time. I also don’t fully understand why I want them to know tbh. So yeah.
Any advice is appreciated.

Please bear with me as this is quite long. Please help me and my family, I really don't know what to do anymore. Here's few backgrounds to understand him better; we come from a religious Islamic family, I wouldn't say I am, but my parents are. Here's the thing, my little brother's gay and an atheist, I always knew he was gay though. He officially came out to me and my other sister a few months ago as an atheist and being gay and of course, of course we do support him. And as you know homosexual individuals are very looked down upon Muslims. Like admitting to being gay to a Muslim is the equivalent of you admitting you murdered someone! I WISH I WAS JOKING! Not that I am abiding by the virtues of Islam—but I believe we don't have the right to judge someone and decide their fate, only God does. If he wants to be gay and leave Islam, then so be it. We just let him be, and we're happy that he trusts us enough to tell what he's actually feeling about his own identity.

To our parents, it's another story. As I've said they're quite religious and has been vocally homophobic, his whole bloodline are. For context my mom, me and my sister were Christian before he married my now father and so we converted years before my little brother was born (technically my half brother) so my mom's side is pretty chill about the idea of homosexuality, well, except for her. My father once said that being gay means having life losing its meaning I think that is ridiculous. And now, I think that has been the whole reason on why my little brother's doing this. He is just so scared to tell everything that has been stuck inside his chest, unspoken words waiting to burst out and it just breaks my heart.

Here are more psychological behaviors I noticed from him, I don't know if this is connected but he has been pacing around every day for an hour, skipping back and forth around our house for as along as I can remember. He once told me that he just iike to imagine things in his own world but I don't know if that's actually true. He also has serious anger issues, like when he gets annoyed at my other little brothers and sisters, he would shout at them and hit them. It was really hard to witness. Also socially awkward, but he has friends I know, mostly females but that's about it. Admitted to being hypersexual, it was an odd thing to say for someone who's just 12 years old. I also think he's a little autistic.

A few hours ago, 5am, I really couldn't make myself to sleep, I was sleepy, but I just couldn't fall asleep. When everyone was in their respective bedrooms, I saw him afar outside my room but he didn't notice me because I was peeking through my upper bunk's curtains and the room was dark, I could hardly be seen. I saw him alone, sitting on the dining chair, with a purple knife in his right hand. He was lightly slashing his left arm. And I couldn't believe what just happened. I quickly picked up my phone and texted my mom who was still awake because she's working on her laptop. I told her what he has been doing in the kitchen, and it almost felt I like I heard the moment her heart dropped just as she was about to open their bedroom door. Knowing my mom, she was strict about things and would sometimes punish us as a lesson. I told her to not punish him this time by any means or shout at him. Just be gentle as possible and let him try to open up and explain because I knew. I don't know how lang has he been doing this, for I had a full time job far away from home and couldn't monitor him enough.

I know what it feels like to be in his place because I admit that have also done that when I was younger, I was never caught, and it was really hard but I have moved on from it since then. I tried to eavesdrop but I couldn't comprehend anything because I was far away from them. But I heard him sobbing, and my mom.. she got mad but in a calm way. I'm really glad that she listened to me. And then there came my father following five minutes after. It sounded like he was trying to explain something the way he answered back in such a quick manner. I believe he never confessed everything though by the way it sounded, they eventually went to the room and I suppose watched a football live match. I could tell that he has calmed down by my father mostly and he kept trying to engage with my brother about the game, a distraction of some sort?

And that's when I broke down crying. I was crying so hard on my bed. Actually, one thing about me is that I might actually have anxiety, the diagnosed kind. I've been having panic attacks for over a year now every now and then. My parents always knew, but I feel like they didn't care much, except for when I was hyperventilating at times. And I think they wouldn't even send me to a psychiatrist for a proper diagnosis because of the expenses needed to get one. I might soon, with my own money.

But anyways, I was crying really hard about that one specific text of my mom; "I didn't know, he was always happy" My tears burst into tears as soon as I realized what she had said. She has been working really hard just to provide the needs of our family that she even forgets to check up on my little brother, let alone me myself. And I just couldn't. I'm scared and dont know what to do anymore. The idea of a twelve year old attempting self harm is just SO HARD to think about. I don't know, I really don't know what drove him into this. Maybe the internet, as far as I know he's chronically online and uses TikTok 24/7, my mom also blamed TikTok, saying he's been watching gruesome and inappropriate things, and I do too—the type of videos he reposts is really odd for someone who's 12 years old, I don't know a better way to restrict him from using this app without triggering himself and I am so frustrated! Or perhaps maybe peer pressure? He got influenced by her friends to encourage to do that thing? I DONT KNOW!!! I AM SO FRUSTRATED😭😭😭 My anxiety is over the top and I just don't know how to act anymore. Later as soon as I wake up, I'm going to convince my parents to get him checked up by a child psychologist or something as soon as possible because this is SO ALARMING!!! Please help me, I need guidance and advice!!!

so like a few months ago i was forced to tell my parents i “used” to sh ect, but now eventually i have to go to a psychiatrists office to do a test (and will take a test for adhd for other reasons) what i DO know is that atleast in one of the two tests or whatever they are, they’ll most likely be talking abt suicide and sh, and some other stuff id rather not mention. I am absolutely in no mood to have my parents to know stuff like that abt me, should i just tell the truth for the sake of a diagnosis for whatever or should i lie and keep my peace. if i dont lie will my parents be informed (i dont sh anymore but only bc its summer i lowk still wanna but yh) other stuff too but idk if reddit will remove the post. ask me any questions if yoy want to. (Fyi i am not recovered, i am less bad than in november - april but definitely still not the most stable.)

i originally wanted to place this on the mental healthy reddit but its still getting reviewed after more than a week now and the appointment is closing in.

No matter how much I say I hate relationships, I really crave for one. So much that it hinders with my everyday life and I feel if I get a boyfriend, I will not be so stressed about being loved. I have always had a bad body image (mostly distorted idk) and recently to make myself a bit better, I downloaded bumble. The men I found there fantasized about my body a lot-no matter how much I tried to stir the conversation, it always circled back to my body. I know dating apps wont have good guys, but now I feel more bad about romance. Istg now like its fucking with my brain, one part I know I shouldn't have had much expectations from fucking dating apps and another apart of me is like..is this it? Is this what dating is all about? Will I never got what I want? (Saying this when idek what I want)

I want to make sure after I kms the letter I wrote to my friend will reach him without my parents reading it or atleast if they do, that it will still reach him. He lives quite a bit away. I want him to know that im gone, but at the same time I don't even know how to do it. I'm sure nothing can help me change my mind, I only want help on how to actually do it. I think I'm doing the people I know a favor by offing myself.

How do you deal with the guilt and shame that comes with depression or other illnesses? I feel pathetic and crazy most of the time. I hate craving approval and validation from others and that my whole mood depends on a person. I am weak and miserable. I have been called crazy and truly it triggers me so bad.

I do not know how to deal with all the guilt of hurting someone, the guilt i have for confusing someone.

Depression takes over my life everyday and i am exhausted. Since i was a teen from now im 25, its hell, not a week i have where i feel hopeful. I hate living like this.

What do you do when you feel so guilty or ashamed of your actions or words? I apologize, i apologize from the heart but i always fear its too late cause i already altered the perception of the other person and their closed ones.

I don’t really know how to explain this, but I’ve been feeling really down for a while.

I’m not able to cry even when I feel like I should. I’m tired all the time even though I sleep a lot. I don’t really feel like doing anything anymore. I mostly just stay in my room and avoid doing anything social because it feels exhausting.

I’ve also noticed I’ve been losing interest in things I used to care about. Social stuff feels like too much and I’d rather just be alone most of the time.

Something I’m kind of ashamed to admit is I’ve been coping in ways I don’t feel good about like going on porn sights and I don’t really know why I keep doing it.

I just feel stuck and kind of numb and I don’t know if something is wrong with me.

I’m becoming more and more unhinged recently last month my mental health went down a bad road and after becoming a mother who has severe anxiety and depression and sensory issues I’ve had these since I was 7 years old my stepdad had been in a wreck and passed away and after I had anxiety of people leaving and never coming back I had trouble sleeping since age 3 I would stay up sometimes because my brain would convince myself if I went to sleep my mom would die or something bad would happen and it would be my fault and more deaths like my brother and grandma/grandpa deaths messed me up to I feel like everyone who really believed in me and really loved me and make me feel like a person died I use to be so depressed and suicidal thinking why take them and not me or let me go with them but recently my kids dad isn’t in there life no has been but he wants to be with me I think I feel like I’m being manipulated I can’t even talk around him half the time I’m scared he’s hurt me soo much and leaving his kids like they don’t know or he doesn’t care to be in there life but the kids been staying with my mom while I hangout with him but something different about him we use to have an amazing relationship he was so smart and handsome and he could be such an amazing person but then he uses his words to hurt you and he has another kid and hardly sees him to and ik he’s hurting bc what his other bm did to him but I just feel like a hard shell and can’t let him in and I hate it but he’s also not being open with me even tho I know I’m awkward assff right now because of my anxiety and just how I feel I wish I could change it because I want to be with him but I don’t think he wants to really be with me I think I fucked it up by being to pushy yet distant in head space we be smoking and just chillen playing games but idk maybe this post is also unhinged i guess i just need to vent but i hate people and i hate not knowing how to act around people im suppose to start anxiety meds but i kinda went off the tracks before i even had time to get them from the pharmacy im dumb and my hearts broken and i feel like a terrible mom/person i dont even feel like a person more of a ghost who can’t let go what’s wrong with me ? I hate feeling like this i just want to be with someone who will really love and care for me

I was raped and sexually abused for a long time . It keeps haunting me . I keep having flashbacks and nightmares about it . I am extremely depressed and anxious due to it . I need someone who can be empathetic towards me and console me and just talk to me as I can't talk to anyone about it irl.

I’m 13 and for years I’ve had really disturbing thoughts about h9rting animals and people. They make me feel guilty, and I don’t actually want to think about these things, but they keep happening. Today I was really sad and angry, and I hurt my cat by picking her up r@ughly , stepping on her tail, and throwing toys at her. I feel awful and ashamed about it. When I was around 9 or 10 years old, I was crying and my cat came to comfort me, but I thr@w her onto the floor multiple times. Has anyone else experienced something like this? If so, what helped you manage these thoughts and emotions and stop yourself from acting on them?

the conversations I had with family members and doctors when I was close to healing

with a female psychiatrist

me: *talking about what I feel*

her: are you depressed?

me: yes (you tell me, weren't you here to diagnose me?

her: it will get better

later appointments

me: when I took antidepressants, suicidal thoughts came back but in the day time, I feel light due to intake of antidepressants

her: pills don't cause those thoughts

with my mom

her: what were you thinking?

me: I had suicidal thoughts

her: it is a sin. didn't you know that?

me: (wtf? it is medical condition, not ungratefulness)

another conservation with my mom

her: you should be thankful and grateful

me: ...

her: because prophet Muhammad struggled a lot more than, who even are you compared to him?

me: ... (I know you are trying to help, but invalidating my struggles doesn't help me)

her: what will people say? what will you say to your friends (she meant my classmates, I have 4 friends, the rest are classmates)

with my older uncle

me: I wanna be financially independent

him: so work

me: why aren't you letting me go home if so?

him: you will be poor if you don't make your mother content

me: I won't be!

him: you joined some kind mind realising cult thing

me: ... (wtf?)

with my grandpa

me: i don't wanna work like a slave for 40 years until I'm 60+

him: you became stupid

me: ...

him: will you go back to college

me: no

him: why?

me: idk

him: why?

me: ...

new psychiatrist who is friend of my older uncle

him: *praising my wins*

me: when I talk to my mom about those thoughts, she said it is a sin

him: hmm yeah it is a sin, but what can we do about it? it is a medical condition

him to my grandma: you guys treat him now as a young adult not a child. he has some psychological traumas, they are not severe.

her: ok ok

problems I faced that they give me advices but I don't see them applying on me. for example, accept people without changing (my mom). but she tried to change me. it failed horribly. And, doctors don't ask questions related to mental disorders. they just were quick to prescribe medications

I sat with my scary thoughts and overwhelming emotions most of time during last 2 months. maybe it is called meditation.

but healing changed me, but it seems like my family didn't want me to be healed because I became disobedient to them. I became autonomous.

For context I’ve had this chronic unknown stomach issue that’s been ongoing for a while and still no answers. It caused me to lose weight and I can’t eat the things I enjoy anymore. But recently I’ve been genuinely scared. I don’t feel happy at all anymore. I don’t have any friends. And I’ve had these thoughts of injury but I don’t know if it counts because I don’t think I’ll act on them… I don’t wanna tell someone and risk being hospitalized for it or something because I hate hospitals. It’s almost like I don’t know what point it should get to before I need to get help? it’s a confusing thing and the thoughts are newer for me. I’ve had depression for years and it WAS better but recently it’s been absolutely terrible. I don’t wanna do my laundry, eat, shower… I constantly feel sick and tired, I don’t sleep well anymore. I don’t find anything fun anymore. I don’t feel real and the world doesn’t feel real. I don’t wanna do this a lot longer but I don’t wanna end it, if that makes sense? I’m sorry if this is annoying. I don’t have anyone else to talk to.

I feel at least in my mind I made an unforgivable mistake even thought those around me have told me I haven’t.

I often think about times I was an asshole to people or made people upset without meaning to and I can’t forgive myself even when others have forgiven me, didn’t care, or didn’t think it was a big deal when I apologize.

I want to be a good and likeable person and I hate when I can’t do that and it honestly makes me want to kill myself sometimes because it proves that I’m a bad person who deserves nothing and I should die alone.

It doesn’t matter to me that people are understanding, I still hate myself for being a horrible person all the time because all I do is upset people even when I’m trying to be good and nice.

I’m autistic and adhd and it’s a curse sometimes because it’s isolating because I can’t say or do anything right without making everyone hate me.

Hello everyone,

This is my first time posting on here so I’m sorry if this becomes a little longwinded and rambly, I’ve just got so much to say and no real idea how to say it, so I guess I’ll just talk and see how it ends up.

So I’m a 43 year old guy from the north east of England, I’ve dealt with Generalised Anxiety Disorder and Acute Anxiety since before I even entered my teens, I was the product of an abusive relationship and my earliest memory is being passed out of a living room window followed by a drawer full of my clothing as my mother escaped my violent and abusive father. I’d heard a lot of stories about how he treated my mother and what he put her through so I’ve tried my utmost in life to be as different from him as I possibly could, to be a caring, generous and loving human being, I like to think I’ve succeeded with that on the whole. I never really wanted for anything growing up, for the first 8 years of my life it was mostly just me and my mother against the world, she made sure I had everything I could possibly want even if it meant going without things she needed - as I result I’ve never held any desire for money or things. It’s maybe a weird thing to say but I’ve always valued people more than possessions, maybe that’s one of the reasons I find myself in the situation I’m in nowadays.

My mind is a complex mess, I’m registered as legally blind due to an incurable genetic condition inherited from my maternal line, and as far as people go I’ve come to expect that all those people I learned to love and value fade away and leave, die, move, or just disappear completely from my life. My brother passed when I was 7 years old, my grandad when I was 14, my 2 best friends in 2011 and 2012, and most recently my confidante, my ‘someone to talk to’ passed away from cancer. I struggle to get close to anybody because of that hardwired fear that they’ll leave me, I even refuse to have pets basically because they’ll die and leave me alone too, I’d really love a pet…. but I just can’t face that heartbreak. 2 of my remaining friends moved away recently and I’m even affected by the fact that a neighbour who I’ve lived above for the past 18 years will be moving out soon, that in itself feels like a loss to me even though it really shouldn’t.

I do have family, but they have lives and worries of their own so I choose not to add to them with anything I have to say. I’ve been in 2 relationships which didn’t work out, one of which turned physically and mentally abusive, which was something I struggled to discuss with anyone due to the stigma attached to being a man abused by a woman, even now there are things that happened to me that in that relationship I don’t think I’ll ever feel comfortable discussing because quite frankly I’m too ashamed of them.

Which leads me to where I am today, I feel like I’ve got nobody. I feel unlovable and worthless, I have days where I wake up and within seconds wish I hadn’t, and I carry that through most days with few exceptions. I’ve got so much more to tell, but I’m here to hopefully talk to people, get to know them, and maybe somewhere down the line I’ll feel a little less lonely.

Again I’m sorry for the rambling incoherent mess, if you’ve read this then I’ve 2 words for you….. thank you. ❤️

I am a chronic overthinker

I genuinely don't want to overthink so much about my whole life ,my whole career ..but I overthink to the extent that I genuinely get angry frustrated ...and even end up shouting at my parents ...I have pretty much been like this since I was a kid ...and I genuinely don't want to keep hurting them ..they say something which makes me genuinely wanna argue with them ...but thats actually hurting them ..whoever I talk to says only one thing " u keep thinking way too much " ..I genuinely get fustarted at pretty much anything sometimes ..they are genuinely hurt by me ...

I don't want to keep hurting them ...they are hurt by me ...I am 17 ...in 12th ..gonna be turning 18 in a month or st

I am trailing behind

I am trying to recover academically

They sometimes don't get it ...and I shout at them ..

I don't want to ...I also sometimes get hyperware of my behaviour like ..damn am I psycho or something

I have honestly seen my mumma struggling so much and no disrespect to her I love her ..but I don't want to end up like her ..I genuinely feel so helpless

Sometimes I think they are gaslighting me ..sometimes I think they are right ...I genuinely don't know what is right or wrong

But I seriously don't want to end up blindly somewhere just because my parents said it ...like damn ...I sometime feel so angry specially at my father ..i genuinely want to practise patience...I have confronted them about me changing stream in case and doing what I want ( like if not NEET then any other like clat) they have simply denied ...I get so frustrated ..does anybody know how to deal with this dynamic ..

Recently in the last 2 weeks i experience a major trauma involving and drug addicted mum and he wanting to unalive herself I had to make sure she dont and the stress and been getting to me I experienced a minor psychosis few months ago from stress and lack of sleep and I’m scared it’s happening again, for extra information I live with my partner not my mum but my mum will still contact me I have very limited contact with her but due to her obvious fragile mental health I can’t just cut her off, does anyone have advise or even nice words

It's been 5 weeks since i broke 3 metatarsals on my left foot. Which led me to being bedridden.

4 weeks i was in cast. Around 1 weeks since the cast is off.

I can now walk a little. But it hurts to walk on fracture site. I'm in physio too but it's gonna take time to get back to normal.

Mentally I've gone insane. I'm unable to focus, my mind is cluttered, I can't work, I can't even sleep.

Everything is screwed.

Now while i was injured I got a remote job as a content writer, and i told them about my injury and they seemed empathetic. Because of my very severely fucked up mental state right now I'm unable to work very well.

I recieved first feedback on my article today and it just said "disappointing piece. Re-write". Honestly I've been having trouble with understanding minor stuff as well. And I've been fucking up a lot ever since I joined.

Mentally I'm at my fucking lowest. I don't understand if I'm making excuses of "mental well-being" or am I actually struggling because of it.

Because tbh I never struggled with working. My work has always been top notch. 😭

But lately I've just been crying and crying and I'm exhausted and I can't work.

I don't even know why I'm posting this and what I want you guys to do here.

But I'm just going insane. I don't know what to do.