r/MentalHealthSupport

I’ve never felt this terrible but I feel like I want to leave. I’ve struggled with depression for years and I feel so alone. I am a fully functioning alcoholic and I’ve never felt this terrible abt myself

Im 17, and I seriously need help. I can tell I’m mentally not ok. I’ve been dealing with terrible mood swings, a self harm problem, and more. I genuinely don’t wanna live and everyday feels like a chore. I also have adhd & ocd if that has something to do w anything.

I can’t control my anger. Especially for the past 3 weeks since I got caught up smoking by my parents for the millionth time so I gotta be sober now. But it was the only thing that helped me suppress my anger and helped me stay calm and just overall get my mind off things. Now I’m all out of control again.

The other day I cut up my leg terribly, I have two really bad wounds that I can tell genuinely needs stitches or sum, but I can’t cuz I don’t want anyone especially my parents to know i cut myself up this badly. I’m sick of being like this, resorting to drugs and self harm but I don’t have anything else that will help me cope. I’m sick of being angry and depressed all the time.

3 weeks ago, I BAWLED my damn eyes out in front of my parents and we talked. I told them how I’m depressed asf nd I don’t wanna live anymore and that I quite literally need genuine help. It did seem like they at least kinda cared since they listened to me as I got this shit off my chest and as ked me questions like why I don’t wanna live . But ever since then, it’s like they forgot that happened. Even prior to this happening, I had a talk with my mom twice saying I need a therapist or at least a psychologist to see wtf is wrong w me, but again, ever since then, it’s like she forgot. Ive told her about my terrible mood swings (embarrassingly throwing and punching shit) but she says it’s just hormones. Maybe it’s not about them forgetting, but maybe it’s bc they just simply don’t think I need help, and I feel like it may be because i can be really good at hiding how I really feel, so I act energetic and happy so people don’t suspect I’m going thru shit when I am.

I need genuine help but I don’t know how to get some if my parents won’t help me get help. I don’t even know what to do anymore, I’m genuinely so tired of living, I truly don’t see me making it past 30, maybe even 25.

Hi, every time I think about working, having a career or the future in general I get nauseous, anxious and angry. I’m only 20 so I haven’t been forced to work yet but I know that I can’t put it off forever. I’m not lazy, and I don’t have anything against doing hard work and studying, yet when it comes to the thought of performing forever I get exhausted. I feel like a useless member of society and I don’t know what to do. People tell me everyone feels this way so I might just be dramatic? But it makes me feel destructive and depressed. I was wondering if anyone has a similar experience or has any advice? Thank you<3

For the past few months it feels like everything is happening against me...there is some kind of force or I don't know what, that doesn't want me to be happy academically..mentally ..emotionally...it is really getting heavier now...don't know how long I can hold up...things are really getting bad...

I really just don’t know what to do , I really don’t want to be here anymore and have felt like this strongly for months, I can’t even be around people because I am so miserable I just end up ruining every relationship I have, I have no friends I now have no job , I already struggled so much with my moods and then I got cancer and now I’m regretting even doing the chemo because I don’t want to live I don’t want to do anything for my life , I’m cancelling every appointment I just don’t know how you are suppose to continue when you actually don’t want to have your life anymore , and I’ve been going to therapy for over 5 years and seeing a physcatrkst for the last 6 months and I’m just getting worse I’m at the point now I don’t want to do anything I don’t care about anything in my life, there is nothing to look forward to I have no excitement and I actually feel 0 happiness all I feel is miserable and think of k lling myself every day , I’m so lonely no one understands it , I just want to d iiii eeeeee I actually can’t do this anymore , and I know there’s a chance it can all get better but I don’t want that I don’t see a point in trying to fix myself when I don’t even want to wake up every day

&#x200B;

Hi all; if anyone can give me some advice it would be very much appreciated. My sibling (39yo older) have been struggling with a few different things, but I would say overwhelmingly so with depression this past year.

They are not currently employed, although they don't ever struggle to hold one down. They do experience a lot of burnout and overwhelm,which i think also comes from a lack of balance outside work hours in terms of socialising, hobbies and general self care. At the moment; getting a job seems a far venture.

Our family does have a history of mental health issues which were known since childhood but not necessarily handled very well and has not been the best example of how to manage as we age ourselves. Depression, illness and perhaps neurodiversity were all present as us kids have all been officially diagnosed with adhd since, and some of them have also considered autism as a possibility.

My sibling has been out of work since November and since then they have not left the house unless absolutely necessary. They stay in their room most of the day and dont help out around the house with any tasks or cook for themselves. They do come out of their room to watch tv, eat, do some small hobbies but other than that, not much is done in a day.

They can be very defensive about the situation so in the past few months i have only had one direct and honest conversation about how it is coming across to me and how im feeling while trying to check in also. They have learned in the past few years how explosive they can be in arguments, so I try to be as gentle as possible and I can see them trying also.

That being said, I didn't feel very heard in the last talk we had, they nicely brushed me off saying they just needed time for themselves and that they were extremely overwhelmed before they finished work, which is true. However, from my point of view, they are absolutely locked in a rut right now and are not really living. They see no one (maybe 3 meetups with friends/family since nov) and will only do something with me if it involves tv and will not generally do any tasks to help out. They have no routine apart from sitting on their bed on their computer/drawing/reading.

They have been to the doctor for their depression and adhd and I do not believe the right meds balance has been reached yet, but I also know they are doing very little besides trying medication to help themselves get better. I completely understand that depression can keep you so exhausted and so unwilling to do things but I also know that sometimes to get better you have to do things you don't want to do. Im absolutely not perfect myself and am working on it as much as i can. If i dont get outside at least once a day I feel absolutely horrendous so I can't imagine how they are doing cooped up all the time.

I am trying to be positive and encouraging in all ways but it is really trying at the moment. I know they are very vulnerable and feel quite lost in it at the moment and I want to help not hinder. I am quite frustrated that all my suggestions for things to do together get shot down, whether its a short walk outside with me or favours I've offered. They have a bit of a need for control and don't like being told what to do, so I try not to suggest the obvious and say they need to do things outside their current norm. They always say they are exhausted but they will never gain energy from doing nothing either.

It has been very frustrating and I don't want to feel this way; but I also feel like im really tiptoeing around them sometimes and it feels a bit fruitless the way things are going atm. They are a bright, enthusiastic and social person generally, so funny and lovely, and I really don't want this to go on any longer for them.

A note; I understand depression will not be completely cured but they have the capability to have a fulfilled, completely fun and organised life alongside this and I would love advice from anyone who has dealt with similar or would like to share.

I’m in a really bad spot right now mentally. I’ve got a lot of mental health issues depression, anxiety, ocd, etc and it just kinda hit me that it’s never going to get better. Like, I can take all the meds in the world and do all the therapy but at the end of the day it’ll never cure what’s wrong with me. These things that are wrong with me will never go away.

My brain just doesn’t work like a “normal” persons and it never will. Tasks will always be harder for me, living will always be harder. I don’t have the energy to work but I need to work to make money to afford my meds and therapy. And I can’t even escape it all because I’ve already tried to end my life three times and they all failed. I’m too scared to die, but I’m too exhausted to live.

I guess I’m just wondering what other people with mental health issues do to keep going? Even if it’s unhinged, because I can’t keep hearing that I need to live just “because” or that “some people have it worse than you so you should be grateful”.

TLDR: How do you find motivation to live with severe mental health problems?

I got gifted a bunch of trinkets and movie memorabilia over the years for birthday from a sibling but i dont want them anymore. Whats a polite way of disposing of them?

I’m a borderline and have had a very difficult time recently with managing extremely intense emotions. I am taking THC 25mg everyday. It’s my only escape, but my Dr. wants me to quit completely. Just thinking about it makes me feel like dying. I have a 16 with Autism who requires so much attention and I can’t handle it if I’m sober. I have tried to switch to drinking and today I got a pack of cigarettes that I haven’t used since I was pregnant 16 years ago. It’s not ideal but these things are keeping me from harder drugs, risky unsafe sex and serious financial debt. I am married to the most patient wonderful man and my family is very supportive but I really just want to run away and self-destruct until I die. I wish I could be that selfish but I can’t do that to the people who work so hard to keep me alive during my entire life. I need alternatives to release all this intensity. Any ideas?

Just need some advice.

Story is similar to most. Exposed to porn at like 10 or 11 I think. Pretty sure I’ve developed CSBD. To not rant abt my volatile single mom, isolated childhood, etc, I got a lil messed up. Which I’m starting to realize more and more. Especially the self shame I have. Not just for this.

I realized it was a problem around the end of high school. Tried to fight it, got my consumption down but still using to this day. This summer though I really fell back into it. I have a real fear of developing ED and I know even if I don’t stop completely I need a break from it. That’s the other thing too. I know we as human are sexual, there’s nothing inherently wrong with that. But on the other hand there the over use problem, to the point where it feels like it’s sucking the life from me, making feel well numb most of the time.

Please what advice do yall have, therapist or just anyone, for dealing with CSBD, porn addiction, porn shame, whatever you want to call it.

I just graduated high school and I used to go to a school with 70 or less students, we only had like 12 teachers. Basically over the years I grew more and more attached to one teacher in particular, I know it sounds wrong but please read it all before throwing judgement. I became very dependent on her and she was my life line for my high school years. There was one day that she helped me through some of my hardest moments, and after that she always checked in and so on so on. I was always very close with all the teachers + students at the school since it was small, we were all like one big family.

My mother and I are close but she struggles with addiction and my father lives elsewhere but we are also close. I never took her addiction well, I've been struggling with depression and anxiety for a long time now but it at it's peak right now. When I was still attending school I would get anxiety when I saw her but also did anything to get attention from her. Her presence felt safe and I yearned for it. It's taken over my life.

I moved away before I graduated from that school and went to another school to finish, during that time I visited the school whenever I could. Every time, I visited my mother you bet I was there at the school, and when it came time to leave I sobbed and sobbed. I was distraught. It felt like grieving someone who is still alive and I also missed everyone else but mainly her. It felt like losing a parent.

I should get to the point. This coming school year will be her last. Since she is planning to retire, I have been terrified of this moment since I started getting attached. I would also like to mention I am in therapy and we are working through it but basically I was suggested by someone and also got my therapist's opinion on whether or not to tell her this. I would obviously word it differently and all. I had giving her a letter as well as a few other teachers, It made them all cry lol but her letter was the longest and I think most impactful. I was hoping it would give me closure but unfortunately it did not. I still have this lingering fear of her leaving and it is taking a toll on my everyday life. Simple tasks feel impossible. I want to tell her the impact she's had on me, not the beat around the bush version. I've always avoided things out of fear. I want her to know how much I look up to her and how much she's changed my life but I don't know if it will give me the closure I think it will, I'm terrified I'll never move on from this.

On top of that I really don't know what I would tell her, I know how I feel but to put it in words and not sound like a freak or creepy feels impossible.

This post took a lot of courage and fear to write and post so please be gentle.🥲

I'm Armenian. I'm born and grew up in western Europe, with immigrants grandparents. For context I look very white, chat gpt said of my pic "likely baltic, nordic or russian ancestry". I have extremely pale/rosy skin, green eyes (that my grandmother always looked at saying it was the exact same as my genocide survivor great grandmother, super blonde hair that turned bronde - brownish blonde (русые) now. I'm very christian, have a "stereotypical russian name" too (Armenian surname of course). I'm not mixed Russian or anything just Armenian. But my grandparents grew up like most Armenians in the Soviet union (in Armenia proper then in another part of the Caucasus), they had all stereotypical Russian objects and food like kokhloma, jostovo platters little lacker boxes icons etc, pelmeni borshch ogurets kasha etc (obvously specific armenian food too manti lavash everything), even taught me to speak Russian, and friends and family members that are Russian, Ukrainians, Poles (now I have a boyfriend he is slavic too, he is balkan slavic so we have even more in common being oppressed by ottomans, dolma, reading future in coffee ...) ... And in the country I grew up caucasian=white, my country was literally on the caucasus, and I looked the same as all my european classmates so Obviously I was white, and the culture , religion, food, communist trauma I grew up with, is super similar to slavs/romanians/balkan etc, and even when visiting the country its super cold communist architecture orthodox churches so Obviously for me I was eastern european. And in the news people say "Armenia candidate EU" etc so for me it was a closed question. Now my father/grandmother is dead, I felt need to connect more with my roots so I looked up plenty pages on Armenia on Instagram. (i dont have a pic of me there just my name). Now I see every time plenty of mean comments, saying Armenians are brown skinned, that we came from India, that we are 0% European, comparing us to Iranians and Arabs etc. I said I was fully white and European as an Armenian and got a comment laughing at me. I know it sounds stupid but I really feel extremely bad about all of this, it is making me incredibly distressed, all my life I was very white, very eastern european (even guys have a saying for us "the girls of the east" for like stereotypical blonde girl from Russia/Ukraine that look like models, I have been called it several times by guys, (im very tall and thin too). Now people on the internet say I should have more in common with Lebanese and Iranians etc that with Russians ?? And that I'm not really white or eastern European but a larper ? In the country I grew up we did have plenty of middle eastern and north african immigrants, never once it crossed my mind I could have anything in common with then, not only they looked super different from me, they were muslims. My family hated all muslims, at school I learn how they had to be stopped in southern france and that it was the foundation of western europe etc, and at home I learn what muslims did in the caucasus and balkans, and then in the news (you will get it if you are in the country I grew up or around) you get all the day this discourse about the hijab, the migrants, terrorism, laicity ... And I don't care I have nothing against muslims I know some nice ones, but like now I see all these people online calling me and my country "asian" "brown" "close to arabs and Iran" etc. And like I look myself in the Mirror I look perfectly white I speak Russian I'm a christian? No one ever doubted I was European to my face, but then people who talk about people like me say this? I feel like I am going crazy, everyone is invalidating my identity and calling us wannabe european (when council of europe, eu, president of Poland etc literally called us european). I just feel so bad because being eastern european is a very important part of me that I feel like is being taken away, and people try to force me in some group of "middle eastern" where every country I don't relate in the slightest, nor the way they look, their religion, their climate their language their history their food etc. And like I never really identified that much with the country I grew up in either, there is a huge culture of like "everyone is a citizen regardless of race" but I never really felt that way for myself, I identify by my ethnicity (and I love being Armenian, the uniquely armenian food not present in russia, our very long history of being the first christian country and resisting islamisation... and I love my Armenian family members (most are dead now)), and also I felt like I had in common with other eastern europeans in our country a whole lot (that I would never have had if I was not armenian, people of my country call all of us "countries of the east" and have 0 interest in it. Idk what to do I feel so exhausted and bad having to defend my culture and ethnicity, having to find arguments for it, I never felt anything and was never thought of as anything other than a white (eastern) european growing up now it seems like the algorithm know what makes me type comments so it give me exactly the type of content to trigger me. I know the first advice is "leave instagram" and I agree, but I really need help resolving my identity crisis and to tell me that im not crazy and have not hallucinated my race and skin colour all my life.

Hey, I am 17F and I recently just had my birthday. Ever since summer started I’ve learned people who I thought were my close friends didn’t care about me, and I’ve realized my family doesn’t really pay attention or care about me either. I’m not going to be successful as I’m going into my grade 12 year and realizing that without friends and family and good grades I’m nothing. I’ve just been crying and eating all summer, and my parents keep scolding me for being lazy and not caring about my future or them. I do care. But I’ve just cared so much about so many things I’m just so tired. Even the girl I was recently talking to ghosted me.
Something else to mention is that I’m fat. I’m fat and I have an ugly face, so nothing going for me in the looks department either.

I miss who I used to be, I thought I had caring friends and a caring family but I’ve realized that they only care when I could provide something for them. For friends it was funny company and for family it was good grades and being a useful child. Now that I’m going through things harder than ever nobody wants to even interact with me without getting angry at me. I feel so awful because I put in so much effort to get zero support in return. I keep thinking of how I’m going to kill my self because genuinly I can’t think of any other outcome where I would be satisfied. I just feel so disgusted with myself and embarrassed on how I could let myself believe I finally had people that cared about me in my life. I’ve been researching and planning and I’ve come to the conclusion I’m probably going to kill myself by atleast January or next summer. I feel so attention seeking doing this, I’ve been taught my whole life that reaching out for help has only come with punishment so I’m really scared. I don’t know what I need anymore, I guess what I wanted was for people I cared about to care about me but that’s done now so yeah, anyway thank you for reading

Hello everyone. This is a new account but I've been lurking on this sub and similar ones for a decent amount of time.

Note: I know this may not be the absolute best sub for this kinda stuff, so PLEASE refer me to another sub that may be better suited to help me.

I'm gonna cut to the chase, I think my whole life is falling apart. Yes, I know that may sound extreme but it's at least what it feels like to me.

I believe I may have NPD or possibly BPD (not officially diagnosed or anything it's simply a somewhat educated guesses, plus my father has ASPD)

I am a pathological liar. I lie about a lot of things. And when asked to back up those lies and whatnot I panic and become incredibly stressed. Once people find out about my lies, no matter how big or bad they are, I completely cut them off from my life. Over the summer, I was caught in a fairly big lie (long story short i was talking shit about various people and claimed i didn't). I have also lied/exaggerated the truth about some stuff relating to my ex-girlfriend. I believe my reasons for lying stems from deep rooted insecurity and hatred of myself.

I also have fairly bad anger management issues, though I tend to largely lash out on myself. I've never gotten into screaming matches or hurt anyone.

I just entered my last year of high school. I have some classes with said people I lied to and about. I feel awful and I have apologized (admittedly could've done it better) to them.

I just want to be a good person for once and fix my mess of a life. Any advice helps!

So I’m 20 year old male and I’ve had this issue as long as I can remember. if there’s any kind of lecture or stressful discussion with my parents I will just burst into to tears, it pisses them off to no end km not really sure why it happens. usually I’m not even particularly sad when it happens (usually it turns into me being sad for feeling like a crybaby or pissing off my parents more than they were already). I just don’t really know why it happens or what to do cause my parents view it as me being over sensitive or faking it for attention or trying to get out of the conversation. and even if I manage to hold it together for the conversation I usually break down as soon as I’m alone, which unfortunately isn’t too often cause these lectures usually turn into several hours of whatever they can think of and then I’ll forget most of everything they said because of the sheer amount of information, the length, and the fact that I’m usually bawling my eyes out. is there a reason for this? Or is there a fix?

Me and my uncle have a sort of complicated relationship that leans more on the bad side, I first met him when I was... I think 6-ish when we started living together, however, his behavior grew more and more hostile and aggressive, so kuch so that my brother had to move out of the house because of him, i think my bro bc his aggressive tendencies rubbed off of him, becuz years after when I finally saw him years later, he is much more calmer and politer. Now that im the only person he has full control over me and he constantly bullies me about my weight and calls me a 'Pig' every chance he gets, other words he called me were "Asshole, dumbass, retarded, weirdo, freak, weird kid, etc." and he gets mad at me whenever I defend myself against him, he gets really sensitive and defensive whenever I try to tell him off, but he just tells me "Fuck you!" Or "Shut up!" And he acts like IM the villain, and whenever he dosent get his way or loses a fight he throws a tantrum and starts ranting and complaining. He acts like i never do anything yet he never teaches me HOW TO DO ANYTHING. he thinks he can just yell in my ear all he wants. One time he even hurted my little cousin physically by pulling his little car wagon onto him, tripping him and him landing on the doorway floor, i yelled at him to stop but he got in my face and yelled "SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP" i flipped him off and stormed out of the house to take a walk, after i came back he came up to me and wagged his finger saying "Dont you EVER put ur finger in my face AGAIN" LIKE WTF, ALL I DID WAS TRY TO PROTECT MY LITTLE COUSIN. One early night i was taking i was taking a shower and i was accidentally playing my music a bit too loud for him, so instead of just telling me to turn it down regularly, he proceeded to bang at the door full force and yelled at me, i said i was sorry, but after he called me some insults i decided he wasnt gonna win this one and i argued for him fir a bit and he started threatening me like 'DO YOU WANT ME TO BRING THIS DOOR DOWN?!" so i said "Im just trying to defend myself, after a little pause he yelled "FUCK YOU!... YOU DONT HAVE TO DEFEND YOURSELF..". But dont get me wrong there's still nice things hes done for me (buying me clothes, taking me out to eat, bought me a tv) but I dont think that excuses anything hes done or put me through, so am I just a tight-ass or is he truly a monster?

as the title states I get depressed for at least a week or 2 every month.

this has been a thing since I was 13 and I’m 25 now. some months I feel fine. then there is some months I’m depressed all the way through it.

So the question would be why do I get this on and off depression I have some reasons why im depressed but it’s never continuous. I’m not entirely willing to explain my reasons here but genuinely I get depressed often and I’m tired of it

I fucking hate my life.

I fucking hate my life. I'm ruining it.

So I have small five hearts tattooed on my forearm. They are not even that huge😑each of them are pea sized. I'm studying in nursing. For the last 3 days I've been having intense anxiety, dizziness and difficulty in breathing because of my tattoos. My institution allowes them. All my teachers have tattoos somewhere on their forearms, back etc. a Few of my seniors have them. So of course they allow tattoos. Still it wasn't enough confirmation for me. I'm still anxious as f\\\*CK. I asked 2 seniors about it and both of them said it's fine. But I'm still not satisfied enough.

I am now worrying if my external teachers who watch me do my practicals will fail me because of my tattoos. I'm completely out of my mind. I know. Nothing makes sense I know. But my brain can't process it. It keeps telling me there's something wrong with my tattoos. I fucking spend a large sum of money to make an appointment with a laser tech to get them removed. I'm gonna give OSCE, then other clinical exams. And I'm worried they won't allow tattoos and they will disqualify me no matter how well I perform in the test.

And about the tattoo removal, I can do it, but it gives me extremely anxiety about developing lymphoma, skin care etc. because I'd have to spend time outside being exposed to sunlight. I am extremely homesick and extremely anxious. I spend most of my time sleeping trying to escape everything. I need help. Please. I had a similar episode lasting months last year which ruined my academic performance I can't afford to ruin this year too because of my fragile OCD.

i'm 16f, throwaway account

ok i know how the title sounds but lately i have really been struggling. every night i think about how i wish i wasw dead and how much easier things would be. Ive thoughgt about when i would do it, where, how, how i would write the letters, and so on. The problem is i dont feel depressed and i am struggling a lot with school currently but nothing serious and i dont really know why im having these thoughts. these thoughts are really scaring me and now i am scared to go hunting with my father (something we do togetehr) since ive had dreams ive turned the gun on myself. I dont know what to do.

Can’t believe i’m posting on reddit about this but I (19F) have recently found myself very depressed. Now, I usually go through up and downs in depression but this time is a lot worse. I think about harming myself multiple times a week. I don’t have energy a lot. stay up till 4 a.m. (2:21 rn). I’m in college, started a new job as a patient sitter at a hospital and holy it is so depressing listening to others being depressed. it seems like all I can do is sit there and watch my phone. I can’t remember the last time I ate a veggie (ik bad). I’m having problems even brushing my teeth and showering. I haven’t taken my meds in a while and it just feels like i’m in a pit. I’ve started smoking again a couple days ago and selling explicit content online. I just…. don’t know who I am anymore. I’m tired, and I have dreams but i’m tired. I cry a lot. Stay in my bed a lot, until work. And this all just makes me feel like a lazy slob because I could be doing other things and I have gotten myself out of depressions before but this time it just seems like I refuse? I don’t know. I’ve also stopped seeing a therapist because they were enabling a bit. please, if there’s anyone here I can talk to, lmk.