r/MentalHealthSupport

I (38f) tried to hang myself last night. I have bpd and have severe trauma now from being in an abusive relationship. We were together the last 3.5 years and broke up about a month ago. I had a severe splitting episode last night. I hung myself off of the light in my bedroom. When I let go of my legs after a few seconds I panicked when it completely cut off my air supply and somehow my body's survival instinct kicked in very fast and I tried desperately to get any bit of my fingers underneath the noose. I was able to get my footing onto the edge of my bed to try hold me but I was struggling to even stand. Somehow I was able to get my fingers in between the ligature and my neck but it was so tight and it was the scariest thing ive experienced in my life. I knew if I stumbled again that would be it. Because ive a broken toe and my bed is soft so I had no steady surface under me. The second I was hanging I panicked and didn't want to die. I'm in shock today that I was brought that low in my mental health to attempt that. I'm lucky I'm still here. I had to untie the ligature from around the light while trying desperately not to lose my balance or let my fingers out from between the rope and my neck. After I got it untied from my light, I had to find a blade thin enough to slide between my neck and the ligature to cut it off my neck. But the knot had been pulled so tightly when I hung that it was trapped underneath my hair and I had to cut it off. I'm just in shock of it all. I had dissociated and split so my memory of the whole night is a bit blurry. I just wanted to share what happened last night. I'm going through a very traumatic breakup of someone I loved so deeply that hurt me and who I trusted with my whole being. I'm broken inside and the feeling of grief is catastrophic for me. 😭

i'm not sure if this is the right place to ask. i've dealt with someone last year and i was fine at first. i was happy to help him through it.

but after 2 months of being on constant hypervigilance, i noticed something changed in me. i've developed symptoms of (mild) anxiety, but never get it checked.

despite dealing with my own struggle, i was still there for him, physically. we were in high school so i see him every day. but he transferred before graduation. i had mixed feelings when he left, i felt like i failed, sad, and relieved at the same time. i feel bad saying this but at one point i was actually happy.

i don't remember most of it, i've cut him off earlier this year cuz i feel like all the mess jump started anxiety in me, and i can't look at his pictures, name and texts without getting anxious.

he left my life, but the anxiety didn't. i am not blaming him at all cuz i know what it feels like to drown, but at the same time i feel like i am scarred for life. i was a different person during him, and after him.

i just wanna know if anyone else ever deal with this, and what's the aftermath like.

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I want to hear people's honest opinions on this, especially from those who've experienced something similar.

Imagine you were assaulted or taken advantage of by someone when you were still a teenager, and he was a much, much older man. There was a significant age gap and an imbalance in maturity and life experience, but the person doesn't even believe what he did was assault. In his mind, he hasn't done anything wrong, and he continues living his life as though he's a perfectly decent person.

Meanwhile, you're left carrying all this anger and resentment over what happened.

What makes it worse is the thought that he probably doesn't even realize the gravity of his actions. He doesn't see himself as someone who did something terrible, and watching him behave like a saint while you carry the emotional weight of that experience is infuriating.

Now, I want to clarify something: I'm not looking for an apology, an explanation, or an acknowledgment from him. I don't even want to hear what he has to say in response.

I just want to let my anger out.

There's a part of me that wants to confront him, tell him exactly what I think of him, and get everything I've been holding inside off my chest. Not to change him, not to make him feel guilty, and not to get anything from him. I just want to say what I need to say.

But then I wonder whether doing that would actually make me feel better or whether I'd be giving this person more of my time and energy when I should be focusing on moving forward.

So, if you've been in a similar situation, I'd genuinely like to know:

- Did you ever confront the person who hurt you purely to release your anger? Did it help?

- Or did you find that expressing your anger privately and moving on was better for you?

- If you could go back, would you confront them, or would you leave things unsaid?

I'm not looking for advice about forgiveness or making peace with the person. I'm trying to understand whether confronting someone purely to get your anger out is worth it, or whether it's better to find another way to release that anger and move on.

i don't really know where else to turn, but i genuinely need advice because i feel like i'm reaching a point where i can't keep dealing with everything on my own. Also i am 16, so i live with my parents.

i feel like i'm wasting so much of my potential. i know i'm capable of doing things and i want to do well in school and in life, but no matter how hard i try, i just can't seem to get myself to function the way i want to. i struggle so much with focusing on schoolwork, even when i genuinely want to get it done. i try different things, try to motivate myself and try to be more disciplined, but it feels like nothing works. i constantly feel depressed, and it's starting to affect practically every part of my life.

i strongly suspect that i might be dealing with depression and possibly other mental health conditions, although i haven't been properly assessed. i've spent a lot of time looking into what i experience, and i really feel like something is wrong. i'm not trying to use a diagnosis as an excuse for anything. if anything, i'm desperate to understand what's happening to me because i want to get better. i don't want to keep feeling like this, and i don't want to keep falling behind when i know i have so much potential.

the biggest problem is that my parents don't really understand mental health, especially my mother. she tends to classify my struggles as laziness or make them out to be personal failings rather than something i might genuinely need help with. she had a very difficult childhood herself, and i understand that her experiences have shaped the way she sees the world. i think she genuinely believes that you should just tough things out and push through everything, no matter how bad you feel. i can understand where that mindset comes from, but it's making it incredibly difficult for me to get the help i need.

my dad has actually tried to help me by talking to me, and i appreciate that. however, my mother often intervenes and seems to influence how he sees the situation. she sometimes tells him things about me behind my back, and i feel like the stories she tells aren't always accurate or are changed in ways that make me look bad. most of the time, he doesn't question what she says, and i end up feeling like i can't defend myself or explain what actually happened. it makes me feel incredibly helpless because even when i have someone who might be willing to listen, i feel like i lose that support before i can really get anywhere.

i don't want to paint my mother as a horrible person. i know she's been through a lot herself, and i can recognise that. but i also feel like her experiences and beliefs are preventing her from understanding that i'm struggling. i can empathise with her childhood without believing that i should have to suffer in silence because of it.

i genuinely need help. i don't know how to make my parents understand that this isn't simply me being lazy or not trying hard enough. i'm scared of continuing like this, of my schoolwork getting worse, of losing motivation and of feeling like i'm wasting years of my life because i can't get the support i need. i want to be able to focus, function normally and actually enjoy my life instead of constantly fighting with myself just to get through the day.

has anyone here been in a similar situation? how did you get help when your parents didn't take mental health seriously? is there a way to get assessed or speak to a professional when your family doesn't fully support it? and if one of your parents was more understanding than the other, how did you get them to listen without the situation turning into another argument?

i'd really appreciate any advice, especially from people who've experienced something similar. i don't know what to do anymore.

Trigger warning: Suicide

My (Non binary 21) friend wants to end her life. They live in Canada and I F20 live in the US, they have no one right now. I need them or else i dont know what life entails for me. I wish I can say more but this is so urgent and i dont know what to do. Please help.

I tried therapy didn't work tried medicine tht too didn't work, ended up overdosing on my medication multiple times. Got saved by my family every time. Am not even sure how they figure it out. Sometimes back i felt bit of hope, felt things were changing and now its hitting me hard again. I feel like i don't wanna live no more. What to do? Iam loosing my hope again. Is thr any way to get out of this? Any miracle, magic, witchcraft, voodoo anything.. am ready to do anything. I just want to feel less pain.. i want this pain to go away..

can't write, can't finish a book, can't DM, and now I'm losing my dancing. I used to be so creative. I loved reading and writing but now I lost everything. I am struggling to talk because my jaw tightens. this has been building up over months. my parents do nothing, they know, I have told them, but they tease and refuse to help me get a secular therapist. I slap myself trying to build myself up so I can eventually do actual damage. I have no one, no friends, no life outside of church, I just needed to vent. I honestly want peace, just any sort of peace.

F (18 years old)

These past few weeks, my mind has been so messed up. I’m having a really hard time functioning properly. I keep zoning out, feeling extremely sad, not wanting help, and wanting to end everything.

I’ve been absent from university for two or three weeks now, and I don’t know if they’ll still accept me here. I’m getting even more stressed about what I’m doing with my life because why do I keep making things harder for myself? I feel like I’m the one keeping myself stuck in this sadness, maybe because I really don’t want to live anymore. I’m struggling to deal with everything going on in my life.

I’m thankful that there are so many people who want to help me and are waiting for me to get better. It’s just so hard because a part of me feels like that’s never going to happen because my mind is always filled with negative thoughts.

It’s hard because it feels like every month, for two or three weeks, my thoughts get really bad. I keep putting myself down to the point where I constantly think about ending my life. But then I think about how my family might be left with bills to pay if I do it because we all know how expensive it is to die in this country.

I just want to know if I’m the only one who feels this way.

I am the biggest idiot in the world; I managed to fall victim to narcissistic abuse twice, on top of having problems at home. I am autistic and have developed complex PTSD, along with related comorbidities. After the first instance of abuse, I thought I had hit rock bottom, but things can always get worse. My body is covered in self-inflicted cuts, and I feel I need to expose my abuser so I can find the peace I need to die—something I finally think I have the courage to do.

I am so tired of going over and over why I am so fucked up, but I am. I have no hope, no one can guve me any sense of care for me, I am in nearly constant emotional pain and this has been going on for decades.

Yes I am in therapy, yes I am on medication prescribed to me by a medical professional.

No I really do not have any friends.

Yes I could call the samaritans, I have done a lot in the past, but it never helps. It stops me from killing myself but the pain always gets worse.

No I am not going to take any illicit drugs.

Not I am not going to call 999 for the same reason as calling the samaritans. They can stop me from ending my life but they wont actually be able to help with the underlying issues as no one has for my entire life (45 hopeless, painful and wasted years)

It's an exam result pattern my mother says marks doesn't matter right now no need worry but every result she insults me in front of everyone call me names and many things some words are so hurting that i can't even think about and it's not like I get very bad marks to get angry about 😞 And it's not like i hate my mother she is a very nice person and I love her but I want is for to understand that i can't get perfect marks all the time and I just want little comfort from her instead of those hurtful words

I know as their daughter it's the least I can do but i can't get perfect marks all the time because I am a human too and that I feel uncomfortable getting compared with my friends too.

I don't know what to do but every result day this thoughts came to my mind.

When I was fourteen I got sexually assaulted, it has ruined my life. I used to be very smart and out going but now I’m a shell of my former self. I was so passionate about school and now I’m not like that, I have no motivation and now I’m home bound. All I do is lay in bed and cry. I’m ashamed of myself. I used to have motivation for everything, i was very passionate about being clean, I cleaned my room every three days. Sweeping, mopping, laundry, etc but now? I just have no motivation for it. Of course I try my best to pick up but it still feels draining and I can’t understand why. I used to laugh all the time and have a clear mind but all I do is think about it. It has already been seven months after the situation and I feel as if I’m not getting any better. I’ve done medication, therapy, and other forms of “solutions” but nothing works. I try my best for a lot of things but I’m not good enough. All I do is reminisce of who I used to be. I was so smart, funny, and likable. I now stay away from people, I just stay in bed all day and cry. I want to die. I want to stop being a burden on my family. I want to stop being a waste of space or wasted potential. I want this pain to end. Nothing feels the same, this life doesn’t even seem real. Any holiday that passes never feels warm just feels like “the first Fourth of July after it happened.” Even my birthday feels the same as that. I was so excited for the next grade year and to be in FFA (Future Farmers of America) but now that’s all down the drain.

Im 17m, and I have always talked to myself like I was my best friend, kinda because I didn't really have a lot of friends growing up. I've been doing this since I was 6, and back then, I would always have full on conversations with myself without even noticing it. As I got older, I had fewer and fewer people to really talk to outside of school and sports and never really went out with friends unless it was for sports. Now I have absolutely no social life whatsoever and noticed that I've been talking to myself like there's someone next to me. I feel like im going to be doing this until the day I die, which im totally fine with that, but is this normal, or do I need to socialize more?

I think I am sick.

I just had a full replay of a traumatic response I witnessed many years ago,same person, same scenario,playing over and over. For years I could usually endure it and try not to provoke my mother. This time I could not stop breathing heavily and crying for two straight hours. Right now I believe I might need professional help but I do have a few worries.

In middle school I was in a very bad state. I could not shower or brush my teeth regularly. I would collapse onto my bed and sleep until the next morning, then go to school already exhausted and still fall asleep in class. My family could not afford therapy, and I doubted that talking to someone with a degree would fix the physical side of what I was feeling, so I never sought help.

I am now in my final year of high school, with entrance exams about six months away. After taking up a new hobby and making new friends I thought I was finally getting better and leaving that earlier state behind. I still struggle to brush my teeth regularly (though I do shower and wash my hair before school), but I mostly ignored the remaining problems,numbness, executive dysfunction, self-loathing, forgetfulness, and constant fatigue,because the rest of life looked normal: supportive friend groups, above-average grades, and several hobbies, even if motivation was low. I told myself this was just ordinary teenage laziness and angst.

I believe the core problem is trauma linked to my mother. She has had anger issues for as long as I can remember. When I was little she pushed hard for me to become intellectually successful, even though she herself was not. She gave me strong educational resources and a privileged intellectual environment. She was a stay-at-home wife who watched a lot of television and slept a great deal; her own mental health was probably not strong. When she was calm she was loving, cooking for me, encouraging me, sewing my clothes.

But the angry episodes were severe. One clear memory: she woke me at 3 a.m. on a school night, screaming and ordering me to wash the dishes. I was so frightened I wet myself. Whenever I showed any discomfort or negativity she would yell that her life was far worse and that I was infecting her with negativity, even if I had only sighed. If I cried she sometimes pulled kitchen knives and threatened to “end my misery”, but I was only about 10.

She always apologised afterwards. The apologies sounded sincere, yet I never fully accepted them. I still doubt she felt real guilt or could control what she said. When my father came home she stopped yelling and acted kind. If he ever saw her screaming at me he would defend me; afterwards she blamed me for making him treat her badly.

Over time I noticed a clear pattern: the moment I had to tidy my room or wash dishes I froze with fear and procrastinated. My room became a classic depression space with dried ramen soup, papers everywhere. I rarely had the energy to clean it; my mother would at least sweep the floor so it never became completely unliveable.

Today was the same situation. I had to sort the swept rubbish from my room into useful and useless piles. Standing in front of the room triggered an exact childhood flashback of being yelled at in that same spot. The same helplessness and despair returned. I began crying uncontrollably—something that had not happened for at least two years (or that I had simply forgotten; past memories now feel as if they belong to someone else).

I asked her, as calmly as I could, to leave me alone for a short time so I could recover. That request provoked her. She began yelling and swearing, calling me worthless, saying she could no longer live with me, and accusing me of spreading negativity every day even though I try hard to keep it from affecting anyone else. Then she ordered me to finish more chores I had left undone.

I know keeping the house clean is my responsibility and I should not leave everything to her. At the same time I am genuinely overloaded preparing for the entrance exams (though I still procrastinate and blame myself completely for that). The mess in my room is itself a product of the mental-health problems her behaviour helped create. My hands and vision started shaking. I could not stop crying or control my breathing; I kept panting and coughing.

Now she is ordering me, in the same demanding tone, to relax by watching videos and holding soft toys. The irony of being commanded to enjoy the very things that usually calm me only makes the distress worse. I am not quite sure if I could leave her as I am still a minor and she would be nice to me if she isn't angry so I honestly don't know anythinf anymore at this point

I would like to personally reach out for actual professional help as I have now realised how much this condition has been eating my brain alive since I was a child. I have grown to be dumb, and could not start any piece of schoolwork.

However, I do have a few worries:

1. My father earns minimum wage. I feel guilty about using any of his money on mental-health resources because of my own fragility.

2. I do not want to become more forgetful than I already am I also do not want to end up on medication for the rest of my life or become dependent on it. Being formally listed as a special-needs student, despite above-average grades, and having diagnostic records that others might question, is something I want to avoid.

3. Before the entrance exams I almost certainly will not have time for weekly sessions with a professional. I could start next year, but that means more sunk costs in tutoring fees and more disappointment in myself, plus I would lose the resources I could get this year, from school, since, my school does not allow last-year repeaters, so I wouldn't be able to enjoy the support I could get from school.

4. Do I actually get better, if i could acquire professional help? What if it would just be another way I feel better and then I drop into the deepest spiral again, whenever she would be provoked?

5. Is my brain completely ruined? Would I still regain the quick responses and memory I once had?

Sorry if this was too long and very complicated to read as I am currently in a really disturbed and uncertain state. Any advices or answers to my questions are deeply appreciated! Hopefully one day I would be seen outside of my misery and actually face the world as a better person.

Hello! I’m in need of advice! I’m 14 years of age just started 9th grade, I’ve been really struggling with the thought of suicide and I’ve been in struggling with my anxiety, depression, and a few addictions I’ve been fighting with for the past two years (self harm, smoking nicotine, and thc)with the smoking it’s getting to the point it doesn’t even make me feel good it makes me miserable getting high, it makes me feel like I’m going crazy like I go into loops of I’m not a real person like everything around me is fake, and I know people say that and throw that around like it’s nothing but it’s genuinely taking over my life and I know people would say “just stop just stop” but I’ve tried multiple times and i struggle so bad with the mood swings that comes with it especially the anger. And with the self harm I’m scared because I can’t stop. After any small inconvenience If I don’t run to smoke I run to cut, and it’s getting really bad it got to the point I passed out on the floor. I really need help I’m failing every class, I see no future for me and I need help, so the advice I need is do I go to my mom and tell her that I need help? She always says I can talk to her but at the same time last couple times she’s caught me with self harm I can tell it hurts her and she already has her own issues and I just can’t stand hurting her more. And I’ve tried to tell my dad but every time he only says “if you ever do anything to take your life I won’t be able to live anymore “ so it’s like I feel like I have to live for everyone around me but I just want to feel like I can live for myself. If I tell my mom though she’s gonna send me to a mental hospital and I know that, that’s where she threatens to send me every time she’s caught me doing something bad, maybe I need to go? But at the same time I hear so many bad things about it like you go in bad but come out worse so I’m just really questioning everything so please, any advice is appreciated!!!!