I think my life is falling apart
Hello everyone. This is a new account but I've been lurking on this sub and similar ones for a decent amount of time.
Note: I know this may not be the absolute best sub for this kinda stuff, so PLEASE refer me to another sub that may be better suited to help me.
I'm gonna cut to the chase, I think my whole life is falling apart. Yes, I know that may sound extreme but it's at least what it feels like to me.
I believe I may have NPD or possibly BPD (not officially diagnosed or anything it's simply a somewhat educated guesses, plus my father has ASPD)
I am a pathological liar. I lie about a lot of things. And when asked to back up those lies and whatnot I panic and become incredibly stressed. Once people find out about my lies, no matter how big or bad they are, I completely cut them off from my life. Over the summer, I was caught in a fairly big lie (long story short i was talking shit about various people and claimed i didn't). I have also lied/exaggerated the truth about some stuff relating to my ex-girlfriend. I believe my reasons for lying stems from deep rooted insecurity and hatred of myself.
I also have fairly bad anger management issues, though I tend to largely lash out on myself. I've never gotten into screaming matches or hurt anyone.
I just entered my last year of high school. I have some classes with said people I lied to and about. I feel awful and I have apologized (admittedly could've done it better) to them.
I just want to be a good person for once and fix my mess of a life. Any advice helps!