My parents won’t get me the help I need & now Idk what to do
Im 17, and I seriously need help. I can tell I’m mentally not ok. I’ve been dealing with terrible mood swings, a self harm problem, and more. I genuinely don’t wanna live and everyday feels like a chore. I also have adhd & ocd if that has something to do w anything.
I can’t control my anger. Especially for the past 3 weeks since I got caught up smoking by my parents for the millionth time so I gotta be sober now. But it was the only thing that helped me suppress my anger and helped me stay calm and just overall get my mind off things. Now I’m all out of control again.
The other day I cut up my leg terribly, I have two really bad wounds that I can tell genuinely needs stitches or sum, but I can’t cuz I don’t want anyone especially my parents to know i cut myself up this badly. I’m sick of being like this, resorting to drugs and self harm but I don’t have anything else that will help me cope. I’m sick of being angry and depressed all the time.
3 weeks ago, I BAWLED my damn eyes out in front of my parents and we talked. I told them how I’m depressed asf nd I don’t wanna live anymore and that I quite literally need genuine help. It did seem like they at least kinda cared since they listened to me as I got this shit off my chest and as ked me questions like why I don’t wanna live . But ever since then, it’s like they forgot that happened. Even prior to this happening, I had a talk with my mom twice saying I need a therapist or at least a psychologist to see wtf is wrong w me, but again, ever since then, it’s like she forgot. Ive told her about my terrible mood swings (embarrassingly throwing and punching shit) but she says it’s just hormones. Maybe it’s not about them forgetting, but maybe it’s bc they just simply don’t think I need help, and I feel like it may be because i can be really good at hiding how I really feel, so I act energetic and happy so people don’t suspect I’m going thru shit when I am.
I need genuine help but I don’t know how to get some if my parents won’t help me get help. I don’t even know what to do anymore, I’m genuinely so tired of living, I truly don’t see me making it past 30, maybe even 25.