19F depressed
Can’t believe i’m posting on reddit about this but I (19F) have recently found myself very depressed. Now, I usually go through up and downs in depression but this time is a lot worse. I think about harming myself multiple times a week. I don’t have energy a lot. stay up till 4 a.m. (2:21 rn). I’m in college, started a new job as a patient sitter at a hospital and holy it is so depressing listening to others being depressed. it seems like all I can do is sit there and watch my phone. I can’t remember the last time I ate a veggie (ik bad). I’m having problems even brushing my teeth and showering. I haven’t taken my meds in a while and it just feels like i’m in a pit. I’ve started smoking again a couple days ago and selling explicit content online. I just…. don’t know who I am anymore. I’m tired, and I have dreams but i’m tired. I cry a lot. Stay in my bed a lot, until work. And this all just makes me feel like a lazy slob because I could be doing other things and I have gotten myself out of depressions before but this time it just seems like I refuse? I don’t know. I’ve also stopped seeing a therapist because they were enabling a bit. please, if there’s anyone here I can talk to, lmk.