AIO my fiancé’s comments about my appearance have made me feel unattractive
My fiancé (31M) and I (29F) have been together for 5 years. Recently, he told me that my jawline looks worse than when we first met. I told him that comments like that hurt me and make me feel less attractive. However, a week later, he pointed out that the corners of my mouth were sagging lower.
He says he’s a problem solver and wasn’t trying to criticize me. He told me that my jawline could be improved with things like mewing and that sagging around the mouth can be prevented by being intentional.
He also always tells me that he’ll love me no matter how I look, now or in the future after making these comments. I understand that he may genuinely be trying to help, but I don’t want my partner looking at my face and pointing out things that need to be fixed, especially things that I can’t change overnight.
He initially said my reaction was because of low self-esteem and was upset because of how I reacted. But he eventually apologized, told me I’m beautiful, and suggested couples therapy because we have different communication styles. Since then, he’s been making an effort to tell me I’m beautiful and reassure me. I appreciate it, but he normally doesn’t say it very often, so part of me wonders if he’s only saying it now because he knows he hurt me.
The hardest part is that I never thought I was ugly before I met him. My previous partners generally made me feel attractive and sexy. Now I’m suddenly conscious of things I never used to worry about.
I don’t feel sexy around him anymore. I don’t want to be naked in front of him, and I currently don’t feel comfortable being intimate because I’m worried he’s looking at my face and noticing how I’ve “declined.”
Am I being overly sensitive? Can couples therapy help with something like this, or is this a serious red flag? And how would you rebuild your confidence and intimacy after something like this?