r/TwoXIndia

My daughter turned 5 last month. I was promised 5 is when they become calmer. And here I am still banging my head on the wall. She has somehow become more mischievous?

She stays with her grandparents and full-time nanny, and all day they run around like crazy. Every time I open the CCTV feed I see something or the other is happening.

At this point it is very clear she’s a kinesthetic learner. She cannot sit through anything- whether I am reading her a book, showing her a movie or teaching her something on paper. She’ll sing on her own, but the moment I try to teach her a song, she’ll stop singing. Same with dancing- she’ll do the steps in class but at home she’ll never practice. The only thing she likes and does well is swimming (she can breaststroke the 25m pool lengthwise twice without break).

I try some hands-on activity like those science experiment kit, and she’ll do a couple of experiments but then start making a mess, throwing stuff around.

She loves breaking things, my home feels like a warzone. We got her hair cut for summer and she hated it so much, she sneakily cut off a chunk of her father’s hair from the back. She poured an entire bottle of her lotion on her teddy bears (which are all one eyed, or one legged or have some disfigurement thanks to her). She just loves rough play, sitting on her grandfather’s neck, or doing WWE on me or her father. She has had a busted lip, a nosebleed, stitches on her forehead (all on separate occasions).

My parents have pretty much stopped visiting because they cannot deal with her.

And when she’s outside, she’ll be like a pretty angel, who has never done a single bad thing in her entire life. People think I am making stuff up.

I should not say this but returning home from work feels like prepping for battle.

Anyone with similar kids- when did they calm down? How did you manage?

Hi!

So I come from divorce and a failed relationship background. All my life , all I wanted was a peaceful marriage with kids. I thought that's the ultimate goal. I was willing to compromise and work for it accordingly (by choice, not forced).

However, after a very painful phase, I've started to question everything. The world is shattering around me, almost like a veil has lifted.

I'm questioning everything, from what is life, what is its purpose, why should we live, what's the point etc.. 

So ladies, especially those who have gone through life-altering situations. What does life mean to you now? What gives you purpose? How did your idea of happiness, love, marriage, motherhood or identity change after everything you went through?

Please share your honest perspectives.

disclaimer: this and reddit in general are not for providing any professional mental health advice. please don't DM, I do not want to advertise myself/reveal my identity, etc., so please don't ask

hi all, I'm a psychiatrist trying to make my practice work better for my patients, specifically women/afab persons. this is admittedly a bit of an informal survey. would really appreciate your honest answers/experiences:

- if you've stopped going for follow-ups, what was the main reason? (cost, assuming you were fine, waiting for the doctor to reach out, life got busy, felt guilty for dropping off?)

- would a reminder message and a confirmation message 24 hr before appointments feel helpful or would that be too intrusive? i've had experiences - moreso in the beginning than now - where people have had issue with me not reaching out to/booking an appointment for them, which is different from my experiences working at hospitals: there people just book an appointment and confirm on the day they were asked to follow-up, but i'm wondering if people prefer being reminded actively, and if there's something in the system that would make it easier for everyone involved?

- If you haven't booked a follow-up in a while, would you want your doctor's clinic to send a "checking in, feel free to reach out" message? this feels a bit too much personally to take up but I've had therapist colleagues tell me they do that, and I'm wondering if that does feel helpful (or too intrusive/boundary crossing).

hope it's ok to post this here. please feel free to chip in if you have any insight/advice etc!

Tonight I had a biggg fight with my long term boyfriend and genuinely feel like I might be going through a breakup for real this time. All I wanted was to get out of my head and just be by myself, eat a little meal, have a little beer and come back home. So I went to this food and drinks place in a (supposedly) nice area. I live in Pune. I wont go anywhere shady obviously cause thats not even what a girl would imagine doing.

So, the moment I enter and sit at a table, I see this fucking creep ( next to my table with couple of other men) staring at my soul with the creepiest smile I have seen in my life on his face. Like I only just sat down and this happens. Just nonstop staring. I am sooo soo drained even typing this man.. I said something like dude can you please not do that?
And this man just would not stop. No embarrassment, no looking away. How can they be so shameless man? I just completely lost it, got up and I walked off, drove back home and now crying myself to sleep. I am 26 year old adult for fucks sake, will I ever be able to just be? It is so damn exhausting.

The worst part is its so normal that I feel this rant is pointless. Cause what are we gona do about it?

So I'm 24 F and studying for competitive exams. whenever I'm ovulating, it's intense like i don't even know how to describe it. I prefer periods over this anyday (i don't get period pain). Whenever i start studying I get these flashes and my mind drifts and i get distracted. It also starts pulsating down there and i can't bring myself to focus on anything. And yes i do masturbate when i feel the urge but it doesn't help much during ovulation. I've never been in a relationship so i don't really know much bout my libido. Idk if all of this is normal and other people go through the same or it's just me. Suggestions are welcome. I don't know how to cope with this.

Hi Girlies, please help a girl out!

Since the past 1 year I (30F) have been permanently working from home while my husband (30M) has work from office. I love the freedom of working according to my schedule but have been feeling quite lonely too.

On top of that we have also recently moved to a new city and I know no one here, which has made matters worse for me.

My husband goes to office 5 days a week, and then sometimes goes for partying with his office teammates on weekends, and I’m just at home all week (and weekend) with no friends in this city and no one to go out with.

I am really struggling with this and would like to know how if there are other people in the same situation as me, and how are ya’ll managing with this? And if someone could help me with what to do, how to make friends in a new city as a 30 year old?!

People in their late 20s who are single and are not looking for relationship or marriage, how do you survive when all people near by are either married or committed.
How to deal with fomo (if you had one) ?
Because we you don’t meet such people it’s okay to be single but after meeting them it feels like something is missing.
But overall for me - I m not into relationship or marriage for longtime to be honest. But sometimes it’s difficult to deal such feelings.

Ps- This post is not about me being single. So stop dm in my personal chat 😌

So yesterday, 3 of us girls (21–30s) were randomly talking in our office pantry when another guy coworker (M25–28) walked in to have some tea. Since we were kind of running out of topics, one girl asked him, “What’s your most controversial opinion?”

After thinking for about a minute, he goes:
“I feel like therapy is a scam. Why do people even need therapy?”

And we were all like… huh?

There are SO many reasons someone might need therapy. Maybe they’re recovering from trauma, maybe they’re depressed, maybe they feel unheard, lonely, overwhelmed, or maybe they just want to understand themselves better. Whether the therapy culture/industry in India is ethical or accessible is a completely different discussion, but if someone wants therapy, why is that anyone else’s business? Why judge people for wanting help?

Anyway.

After around 5 minutes of this therapy discussion, another female coworker joined us in the pantry. She overheard us and then casually called him out:

“Oh didn’t you say the other day that you don’t understand why women’s day is still celebrated? That it’s unfair women get chocolates but men don’t even get appreciation?”

At that point we were like, yeah… now we know who actually needs therapy here.

So naturally, I wanted to understand why HE thought Women’s Day shouldn’t be celebrated.

I asked him:
“Why?, why do you think we shouldn’t celebrate Women’s Day?”

And then this conversation happened:

Me: Do you know how many women die giving birth?
Male coworker: But we have Mother’s Day for that, why do you need a separate Women’s Day?

Like… I mean??? Women deserve respect and recognition beyond just being mothers. Why should womanhood only matter after motherhood?

Me: Do you know the condition of little girls and women in Afghanistan? Do you know women all around the world are literally dying because they can’t access abortions even in severe cases?
Male coworker: Yeah, so go to Afghanistan and fight for them, India doesn't allow this anyway...

????

Like how dumb do you have to be to think empathy should stop at borders?

Me: Why do you think I should go to Afghanistan and fight for those women?
Male coworker: But don’t you think you are privileged and still want to cry about these issues? What are you doing for them anyway?

And THIS is where I got annoyed.

First of all, no. Equal access to education and jobs is not a “privilege.” That is literally basic human right.

We do not get paid extra because we are women. We do not get fewer working hours. We do not get easier lives. And I’m genuinely tired of men complaining about that one women’s compartment in the metro, those few reserved seats in buses, or the women-only compartments in local trains as if that is some massive unfair advantage.

That is not privilege. That is the bare minimum safety arrangement we had to create because women still do not feel safe enough in public spaces.

Me: Why do you think I’m privileged? Women had to fight to get education. We had to fight to get jobs. So many women still work the same roles yet get paid less. Women had to fight against practices like Sati. Why is our history not enough proof that Women’s Day matters?

Male coworker: But all this is the past right. Now all these things don't happen around us.

I genuinely stared at him.

Me: Are you serious? Just because something happened in the past, we should stop acknowledging it? And who even said it is all over?

Your lack of awareness about things happening around you is actually a privilege. Ignorance is privilege.

Male coworker: Can I leave now if your interrogation is over?
Me: Yes, please leave. Your opinions were trash anyway.

And honestly, I’ve been replaying this conversation in my head since yesterday.

I keep thinking maybe I should have said more, maybe I should have pointed out more things. But then I also wonder if men like this would even get the point.

Just because some women are living better lives than before does not mean sexism, violence, or inequality magically disappeared.

Even today:

• Female Genital Mutilation is still practised in some states of India especially Kerala and Gujarat - https://www.fgmcri.org/country/india/
• Tribal women in Maharashtra’s sugarcane industry have reportedly been forced to get hysterectomies so they don’t get pregnant “miss work” - https://www.britsafe.in/safety-management-news/2025/a-bitter-harvest-female-sugarcane-workers-pushed-into-having-hysterectomies
• Women still face harassment, bias, and discrimination at workplaces simply because of gender - https://www.epw.in/engage/article/why-laws-are-not-enough-deal-sexual-harassment
• Mentrual taboo still prevails everywhere in India and period shame is another big issue amongst a majority of us - https://www.ujaas.in/blogs/breaking-down-menstrual-taboo
• Safety, bodily autonomy, reproductive rights, equal pay, and dignity are STILL conversations.
• And don't even get me started on domestic violence and marital rape.

There are multiple reasons why Women’s Day and feminism still matter. And if you have the privilege of not being personally affected by these problems, at the very least be empathetic enough to stop asking, “But why do we need Women’s Day?”

This feels very weird to type but I have no one else to go to!!! It feels odd because this is such a taboo topic and the only friend who brought it up to me judged me for not knowing something back then.

But I'm going to university for my undergrad soon and I have to figure this part of my life out.

I usually get a little turned on/wet by short stories or webtoons that I read for no reason. I haven't ever thought of trying porn. I touch my boobs and all but that's it.

I'm not sure what else to do. For some reason I'm scared to put a finger in😭 I know I want to do sexual acts later on in life but anything penetrating scares me. Idk why I'm being so dumb.

How do you all usually masturbate? What makes you feel good? I would like a guide but I can't find anything good so I'm making this post.

I'm going to university soon and I will obviously have to live with other girls. I feel nervous as to how this is possible there.

There's something deeply isolating about birthdays as an adult. Every year, I make it a point to celebrate my parents' birthdays with all the pomp and fanfare I can muster. I meticulously plan the party, the menu, the outfits all according to their preferences. I make sure they get to celebrate their birthday just the way they would want it. My parents have made a lot of sacrifices for me. So I try to give them all that they had to miss out on while trying to raise me. It's something that is very important to me.

However, my parents barely make any effort to make my birthdays special. They just offer me money to buy whatever I want or order whatever I'd like to eat. But they don't bother to plan anything at all. They also do not seem to have any idea whatsoever regarding what I like. They don't even care to find out either.

Tomorrow is my birthday. My parents told me to order whatever I'd want assuring me that they'll pay for it. But there were no follow-up queries regarding what I ordered, which outfit I'm going to wear, or which cake I'd like to eat. My mom is planning to make me biryani tomorrow because the basmati rice she has will expire next week. She doesn't seem to care that I don't like biryani. She is also going to make me some pudding because her mom used to make it for her on her birthdays. That I don't enjoy pudding seems to be lost on her. My father seems even more indifferent. He seems to think that he's done his part by sending me some money. How I spend my birthday seems to be of no concern to him.

Except I don't want money. I don't even want gifts. I just want someone to care. I want someone to act like my birthday matters...that I matter. I'm at a stage in my life where my friends have all moved on with their lives. They send me gifts. But they don't turn up. They can't either. They have their own families now. My family is all I've got and I'll do anything for them. But moments like this make me wonder if I really have a family in the true sense of the term.

The worst part is that there's no way I can bring myself to tell my parents how much this pains me. I have tried to in the past and they thought it was rather puerile of me to expect my ageing parents to do any more than they are already doing for me. And so, I don't say anything anymore. I just gulp down the indignity of having to settle for whatever little scraps of affection they offer me. Because that's what you are expected to do as an adult... accept the bare minimum and be grateful for it.

The question is: Am I being too harsh and unreasonable?

Picked up book months after giving birth for UGC NET and oh my god, my biggest enemy Maths is still here.

I am dumb as f with maths and I honestly do not know how to improve myself.

I'm glad I can do BODMAS..my dad used to say I wouldn't even be a shopkeeper because that requires maths too.

Please help out an ADHD with toping of Dyscalculia.

I can barely function 7-8 days before periods . For at least 4-5 days and then it get better and then i get periods. Then 1 day again gone and then it gets better for a whole 14 days and it starts again.

Its affecting my work and life. I am sooo tired. It was never ever this terrible. I am only 32 and this is what is happening!i work out, i eat good food. But i am sooooooooooooooooo exhauster and tired and angry and disappointed. I just want to lie down and watch tv.

Do i go to some doctor?

​

I’ve been thinking about this lately and it's a lot on my mind... I don’t even mean it in a sexual way more like missing small forms of affection.. like long hugs someone playing with my hair holding hands leaning on someone while sitting together that kind of comfort.Sometimes I genuinely can’t tell if I want a relationship or if I just miss feeling emotionally and physically close to someone. It’s weird because I’m mostly fine but then some days it randomly hits me.

Does anyone else feel this way?

I would like to hear your tried again and again until you succeeded stories please, so I can believe that there is light at the end of the tunnel !!

Girls living in humid weather — WHAT is your “always smell fresh” secret? 😭

Not just perfume covering sweat for 10 mins… actual long-lasting fresh smell.

Drop your full routine pls:

• alum stone?

• benzoyl peroxide wash?

• glycolic acid?

• deodorant vs antiperspirant?

• perfume oils/mists layering?

• hair perfume?

• body lotion combos?

• clothes drying hacks in humid climate?

• how do y’all stay fresh outdoors for HOURS??

Need all the underrated hygiene hacks from the girls who always smell expensive and clean even in this heat 🫠

I am going through a separation due to a toxic mother in law who controlled everything about her raaja beta.. Lost confidence in relationships how do I keep myself happy. Have an IT job which I don't like but it pays the bills

So i am 20F and had my first intercourse on 9th may. I am also preparing for an exam and it’s stressful too.
I got my periods on 9th march (normal) then 15th april ( i am assume late because of exam stress) and then on 5th may. I did it for the first and only time on 9th and then had bleeding on 15th may and might be expecting another now in a day or so.
I am scared is it normal?
We used protection and i was sure i don’t want to take any pill since he didn’t ejaculate even inside condom. But anyhow he convinced me to take it and i took i pill.

I (F22) recently had PiV sex for the first time. I had some reservations about it because I'm not dating the guy and we haven't been talking very long but ultimately decided to go through with it because horny.

However I do not necessarily consider this as losing my virginity? I've done other things before this with my previous guy, and I've slept with a girl. Like, you wouldn't tell lesbians or queer women basically that their sexual relationships aren't real just cuz there's no dick involved, then shouldn't the same be applied to heterosexual fooling around?

Idk this has been bothering me a bit cuz a couple of my friends are disapproving of the fact that I just went and "lost my virginity" to essentially a random guy (and in retrospect it probably wasn't the best idea either, but if I tell them that now, they will think it's because of the penetrative sex that I am sad, not because I realized that casual intimacy is something I can't handle 🫠)

Honestly, the degree of intimacy I felt isn't very different from what it felt like when I was doing stuff with my ex. If anything, I felt more detached this time around even though we were having PiV sex. Idk what to make of this. Especially cuz a lot of people aren't going to agree with me either so I can't talk much about it irl. Idek what my body count is or which criteria I should go by. Lol.

And somewhere I think this rhetoric of only PiV being real sex is getting to me too because for the past couple of days I've been wondering is I squandered what should've been a special moment? But the thing is I didn't think like that before. So now I'm wondering if there was some truth to what ppl say or if I'm just in emotional turmoil over something else.

I have been recently laid off and been applying for jobs , although i worked in product company and i am extremely underconfident , i have been applying on and off and got failed in couple of online assessment

Also the market is shitty and i have no choice but look at other cities also. Although i am uncomfortable i have no other choice, i have neve been out of this city ans moving away from family seems scary

layoff also made me afraid of jobs, it also made me skeptical and anxious.

Also i started being comfortable in home, i know its wrong, i am so anxious. Its peaceful in odd way just preparing for jobs and being peaceful

I also don’t know how to evaluate job offers

I am a 30-year-old woman currently living away from my home state due to work. The chances of getting transferred back are low, and I expect to continue working for about 30 more years until retirement. I live in residential quarters provided by my workplace, and I have decided to remain single permanently. In my job, there are often interstate on-duty requirements. Because I am single and do not have dependents like children, school-going kids, or aged parents/in-laws (staying with me at quarters), I sometimes get assigned more of these duties compared to others. Earlier in my career, I found it difficult to say no to such assignments even when they were extreme or unfair, as I feared refusing them. Recently, I have started saying no and asking for equal distribution of duties, and on one occasion this worked. My parents live in my home state and are unable to relocate with me. I have only a few close friends, and they are all settled in their own lives. I tend to avoid interactions with relatives because conversations often turn toward marriage, especially since most of my cousins of similar age are already married this year. I often feel a sense of emptiness, especially at night, and I tend to overthink a lot. I feel concerned about the direction my life is taking and sometimes feel uncertain about the future. I am financially independent, and at times, that feels like the only thing I am truly proud of. I do not know how to drive. I have tried learning, but I experience strong fear and difficulty controlling it while on the road. I have also tried developing hobbies and learning new skills, but I struggle with them. I feel that I need more time than others to learn new things, and I learn best when I study alone, which makes it difficult when a skill requires external help or guided practice.

What should I do? How can I improve and live fruitfully?