r/TwoXIndia

For a feminist space that constantly preaches self-love, mental health, ambition, boundaries, and resistance to misogyny and patriarchy, the women here seem to have a peculiar penchant for entertaining some of the worst men imaginable. Every new post somehow manages to be worse than the last. It genuinely makes me wonder why so many women are willing to invest years of their lives trying to make a less-than-mediocre man love them properly when that same time, energy, and emotional labour could be invested in understanding themselves, rebuilding their self-worth, and pursuing therapy. I’m sorry if I come off as back-handed, but I’m so tired of watching women compromise their own principles in relationships. Like why are we so willing to negotiate our own standards for the sake of being picked or chosen by a man?! I love you my girlies. I’m just exasperated on your behalf!

I empathise with women who are trapped in toxic relationships or marriages because of financial dependence, coercion, or circumstances that make leaving difficult. This is not about them.

Recognising misogyny in theory isn’t enough hey? You need to be examining the ways you internalise it and reproduce it in your personal lives.

Basically, here's what happened.

I met this guy on a dating app in October 2025. I had posted pictures from both 2024 and 2025 on my profile. In 2024, I was chubby, but not fat-fat, and my skin was comparatively lighter. But since 2025, my face has become 3–4 shades darker than the rest of my body, and I've gained weight.

Apparently, he only checked one of my pictures before texting me. We moved to Telegram and talked for around 10 days, after which he asked me for my pictures. But by then, he'd already told me that he was into dusky and thick women, so I was like, okay....

Then I explained my whole situation to him. I told him I've been dealing with bipolar disorder, depression, and PCOS, which have affected my appearance. I also told him that I'm currently working on myself.

So we started talking, and everything seemed normal. But in November, after seeing my pictures, he kind of started ignoring me. I thought maybe he was busy, so I didn't think too much about it.

But somehow, from December 2025 to October 2026, we ended up getting really close.

Now, here's how this whole thing turned into a situationship.

In January or February, I confessed to him that I liked him, and he said he felt the same way. But then he told me that his parents wouldn't allow him to marry outside his caste, so he couldn't date me long-term or promise me marriage.

By then, I was already completely attached to him. A smart person would've walked away from this so-called situationship, but I was too attached to leave. So I stayed, and we continued talking. I even shared intimate pictures with him.

Recently, we were talking about our past, and I mentioned how he barely used to give me any attention in October and November. That's when he said that, on the dating app, I looked fair and thin in my pictures, but in reality, I was dark and fat. He literally admitted that this was why he had been avoiding me.

And honestly, I don't even know how to explain what I felt at that moment. I was disgusted with myself and felt so insecure. I didn't confront him or tell him how much his words hurt me because, at that moment, I was too busy feeling ashamed of how I looked.

Ever since then, I can't stop thinking about it. Was he never physically attracted to me in the first place? Did he just pretend to like my appearance for an entire year while telling me he was into dark and chubby women?

I mean, he could've just been honest with me. He has every right to have his own preferences, and I would've understood that. But pretending to find someone attractive, getting emotionally close to them, letting them fall in love with you, and then casually admitting that you've been avoiding them because they're not fair or thin enough for you is just so pathetic.

I'm genuinely heartbroken. I've been crying constantly, and I feel so insecure about myself now.

The worst part is that I know I love him. And that's what makes this hurt so much more. Because how do you process something like this when it comes from someone you love? Someone you've spent almost a year getting attached to, someone you've trusted with your feelings and your body?

I know my appearance has changed. I know I've gained weight, and I know my skin has become darker. I'm already aware of all of that, and I'm working on myself. But I never expected someone I love to make me feel so ashamed of something I'm already struggling with.

I'm not hurt because he has preferences. I'm hurt because he could've been honest with me from the beginning instead of letting me get this attached to him.

And now I can't stop questioning whether he was ever genuinely attracted to me or whether I was just someone he liked emotionally but couldn't accept physically.

I hate that one conversation has made me feel this bad about myself. And I hate that even after everything he said, I still love him.

Edit : used chatgpt to sum up my feelings.... Because when I'm high on emotions, I'm low in grammar..... Also, I'm not against people having preferences, and I'm not saying, he did anything wrong for not liking me.... But still I feel, he should have been honest with me... Even after knowing about my insecurity he went on to hurt my feelings ........

When I say Indian women my pool automatically is restricted to women on this sub. Not the real women who probably never got enough education might not have financial power and end up voting for whoever their family decides. I get it.

The question is for women who come from middle class families, have or are trying to make a career, have some cash flow, go out to work/study or are in oppressive marriages, where they have to take care of household, children and dela with in laws, change their dresscode while going to in laws or in festivities. Why do you still support BJP? Are there benefits?

The right wing against everything that you have been crying over. Freedom to work, freedom to wear whatever you want, wherever you want and step out anywhere at anytime like the foreign countries. Have a voice, equal rep at workplace, equal opportunities to grow at workplace, equality of salaries. Equal quality education like your brothers. And not carrying the burden of house hold duties, childcare and rituals.

Edit: since many of you are asking who I support and there's a plethora of comments and baseless arguments like if not then then who. Here's what I have to say. I would not answer who should be supported. I would rather tell you why I don't support bjp and why I think no women of this country should.

BJP has close links with rss and the whole right wing eco system wants the women to be fit in their narrative of womanhood. Ideal bahu, someone who does not speak in opposition to patriarchal norms which run in the family. Because for them the family structure is more important than a woman's rights and her freedom. So if a family patriarch decides certain rules the woman should follow. You will see plenty of these ideas roaming around in family WA groups.

The bjp is full of hyper nationalist men with the ideas of hyper nationalism. Which does not care for the poor and the marginalized from an ideology stand point. The ideology is oppression. If you are born with a certain sex, caste or financial marker you carry it for life. The ones who are born upper caste, men and in power must hold it while everyone else should serve them. We have seen this in cases wherever manusmriti is criticized how much violence rw has done.

The overall rw - have you ever seen a woman at the forefront of any really any event that rw conducts, have you any seat at the table for them? All hyper violence is inflicted by men. On the other hand we have liberal and left segments that keep women at the forefront. If they don't women from these spaces have a voice to criticize them. You try and criticize why there is not an equal rep in any rw event, you and I know what your fate would be. You will either be mocked or shut up.

Also RSS is called rashtriya swayam sevak sangh. The men who volunteer themselves for the country. Its women's wing however is called rashtriya sevika sangh - no swayam there. Why? Go read about it!!

Women will always be secondary citizens in the ideal ram rajya if they ever achieve.

I'm 22f Tell me about how u all maintain your calmness when things are affecting you

What are the reliable pregnancy tests in India? I freaking out a bit as I am not yet mentally prepared for a kid and I wanted to wait for a year. I want be first level sure before I check it at the doctor's. I have regular periods and missed mine by 2 days. I have no one I can ask in confidence as they aren't active or it will get around easily before I'm sure.

I moved here for my master’s and this is all I ever wanted, I do realise it’s just one year and it’s gonna fly by but I didn’t realise how lonely it would get. The culture shock is as bad as it is. I consider myself an introvert, and by Indian standards I'm an extreme introvert; I don’t strike up conversations and stay by myself all the time. Still, here it’s like you’re invisible, I do realise it’s a big city thing but it’s not like I haven’t lived in big cities before. I miss my friends so much and everyone around me has something going on for them. As an indian it just feels like we grew up in a different world, didn’t have the same school life or college life as the people here or anywhere to be precise, and that I won't ever fit in. I personally thought I'd be really comfortable and thriving in such an individualistic society but it’s quite the opposite. It's getting a bit hard for me, any tips on how to cope are really appreciated. I miss Delhi so much its like i belong there and I can’t wait to go back.
my\\\\\\\_qualifications MSc Student (Law) at LSE

I just saw a post which said that they need to make a dating app that matches misogynistic women with rss men and then the rest of us can be happy because we won't have to deal with them. I don't know but these jokes have always rubbed me in such a wrong way. It just seems like a different way of saying you shouldn't drink or wear certain clothes to avoid getting graped, because there's always another woman who's doing this who the man can target. As long as I a feminist woman who practices the tenants of it in my personal life get to do so, I don't care what happens to the other woman, that's what it feels like to me. Similarly I don't like the jokes of sending all misogynistic women to Afghanistan and getting all women from there out. Because do you really believe that if a system like that still prevailed, some man wouldn't be taking inspiration from it? Your problem doesn't need to be an individual but the entire root system.

How do you function in a system where your whole worth is defined by how good of a wife you've been, or how many sons you've produced? How do you let go of that psychological training that's been inside your head?

At the same time, sometimes when I see these women I want to really shake their shoulders, and scream, "don't you realize I'm fight for you too." These women who are fine with being on a leash as long as the leash is longer than everyone else's, just so they can be in the better books of their male partners.

Ps all mistakes are mine, because f*ck AI.

Girls trip meaning only girls will be there. Please don't bring your brothers or boyfriends or even husbands on these trips. And men, even if your GF or wife asks you to come, please don't happily join them. Have some friends of your own

Recently me and my friends decided to go for girls only trip. One of our friends later told us that she'll reach the location in her car & then we can travel in the car sightseeing.

And guess who else was in her car? Her HUSBAND 😑😐

He was getting bored at home so he wanted to come. So she said OK

We were pissed but thought we'll manage. But then the trip became a couple's trip for them.

Never inviting her on a girl's only trip ever again🙄😒

15 year strong career. Last job senior executive. Broke my body with stress, diabetes etc. then had to have a hysterectomy as there were cancer cells. No kids. 35F. Trying to take everything as a sign and pivot into a new career. 0 support from family. I don’t mean financial support, I’ve been supporting everyone. I just wanted someone to understand me. I know they are worried but I’m a citizen, I walked this whole path on my own. Did my masters in German! I have a strong used case that my pivot can be successful.
Finally realised no need to get anyone’s approval. My life is important. Constructed my life around everyone’s expectations. Now I’m trying to do something for myself without feeling guilty but I have my days. I already opened one door and I’m taking one day at time without rushing things. Still love my parents but I wish for them to love me the way I want to be loved.

For context- I am 23F. As the title says I am the heaviest I have ever been in my life; staying in a hostel setting and with academics being extremely time consuming its hard to maintain a schedule where I can join the gym. I feel very inadequate that I am not able to juggle my time efficiently. It is possible to workout and study, but I just seemingly cannot somehow.

A lot of take outs happen due to the shit food from hostel honestly, and the STRESS EATING. I have had exams recently, and I eat a lot of sugar for the sugar rush, so I can stay up and study. Its a bad habit. Even normally- whenever I am upset, I indulge myself in eating. This started significantly after my horrible breakup.

All this has lead me here in a body where I feel disgusted to look at myself. I feel unhealthy, I can’t exert myself too much, I start heaving after climbing the stairs and my hair is falling, skin is breaking. Clothes don’t fit nor do they look good anymore. I can’t bear to see myself.

I feel I am so heavy there is no going back now, it feels a long way to go. I can’t motivate myself enough. Maybe I am too mentally weak to do something about it. All in all I feel pathetic about myself.

Since gym isn’t an option I ordered basic weights and a yoga mat, and I was consistently doing it until exams hit and a long break in the middle.

I just feel so defeated ):

Have any of you been here? What helped you turn around, stay consistent?
Also any tips are welcome!

hiii!! i'm 23F, and i've been planning on buying a couple of watches for myself for a while now.

i intend to buy one fancy, occasional wear watch offline, but i'm also realising that i want a watch i can wear everyday without feeling guilty about the price😅

i've never really worn watches (except for my G-shock phase in school) and honestly, i'm not a big smart watch fan. i just don't like how it looks and i do NOT want another screen on my wrist if it makes sense😭😭😭

but of course, i'm open to any and all suggestions, so please help me find a watch i can wear everyday, something classy enough for work and something i won't worry about if i wear it to the gym!!

thank you🩷

My boyfriend is on a trip and he wants to buy something for me. I'm honestly confused about it.

If given a chance what would you ask? Are there any bucket list items you guys have in mind?

I’m a single, unmarried woman, and I’m currently living in my parents’ house while they’re staying with my sister in another city for some time.

The thing is, our home is a three-storey independent house in a tier-2 city, and while I’m excited about the idea of having the place to myself, I’m also genuinely scared of someone breaking in at night.

I feel like living alone in an apartment might be a little less intimidating because you have neighbours close by, but an independent house feels different, especially at night when the whole place is quiet.

I’m also considering adopting an indie dog(because parents are getting old and since my sister is a doctor we feel it's better they stay w my sister most of the times as they need frequent medical support), partly for companionship, but I’d love to hear from women who have actually lived alone in independent houses.

What security measures have made you feel safer?
Do you use CCTV cameras, motion-sensor lights, door alarms, or any other security systems?
How do you deal with the fear of someone breaking in while you’re asleep?
Do you have any specific night-time routines or precautions?
Has having a dog made you feel safer, or is it more about companionship?

I’m not looking for fearmongering or stories meant to scare me. I’d genuinely appreciate practical advice from women who’ve been in this situation and have figured out ways to feel secure while living alone.

I’d love to hear your experiences! ❤️

Mayb coz I’m at home n unemployed n studying for exam so my source is more of social media but I’m noticing rampant increase. Not just in India but everywhere. The r@pe cases, the casual harassment, dowry death news etc n i just got told on Reddit that why didn’t my parents try for son coz i said I’m a single child. Random videos of people openly victim blaming . How fucking much patriarchy is ingrained in EVERY tiny thing where u look around uk. The usual mom holding kids n bags with dad holding just a phone. The only mom cooking+working combo. The brother getting less shoutings than sister. I’m almost not seeing any positives n idk it’s scaring me. We don’t deserve this. We deserve a better world for us.

Hey everyone!

My friend is visiting Canada and offered to check out the Coach, Kate Spade and Michael Kors outlets for me. I'm trying to decide which bags are actually worth buying, so I'd love some suggestions from people who own them.

I'm looking for three different bags:

• One. A structured satchel - that looks classy and works with both casual and dressier outfits. A top handle and a long strap would be ideal.

• Two. A Roomy everyday shoulder bag - roughly the size of the Kate Spade Reese or MK Nolita Large Hobo. Something I can carry while shopping or going out for the day, with a secure closure.

• Three. A small bag - for days when I only need my phone, wallet, keys and lipstick. Ideally, it should have a top handle and a crossbody strap.

I usually gravitate towards black, dark brown, chocolate or burgundy. I want something that looks good in person and holds up well, rather than paying for a logo.

I've been looking at the Kate Spade Small Satchel and Reese, and the MK Laila and Nolita, but I haven't settled on anything yet.

What would you personally pick from these outlets? I'm open to Coach too. If you have a particular model in mind, please share a picture or link so I can show my friend what to look for.

Thanks!

Hi everyone. I am moving to gurgaon from mumbai by the end of november for work and I need help in figuring out what to buy for the winters there. Mumbai has non existent winters and I haven’t bought any winter clothing in the last 5 years.
Looking for suggestions on what all I should buy, markets I could get it from or online stores, something that I could wear to office and otherwise as well.
TIA!

so Nana Patekar died today alone in his Goa home and naturally everyone is paying their reapects to him.

But nobody mentioned the allegations (which to me felt very true) that Tanushree Dutta laid on him.
How are we so quick to forget such acts and remember a man based off if just his stupid memes even?

like what????

Not the worst phase because that will always be the phase when my mom died suddenly. So, I’m having one of the worst years of my life. I’m 31, married, and currently homeless and temporarily living my father. Husband and I were kicked out of our rented flat last week because the owner built it illegally and we were given only half hour by the govt officials and the police to pack our “essentials” and get out. We lived there for 2 years. Our whole life was there and 80% of our stuff is still stuck. They sealed the building! Spouse had to travel on a work trip to the UK literally a day after the eviction for a MONTH so we drove 1200 kms overnight to come to our hometown so that I have a place to stay with my father. I never had a good relationship with my father even when mom was alive and after she was gone, the relationship worsened. We don’t even talk apart from the very generic topics such as whether and what to eat! He has never asked me how I am doing. Once I was sick for 2 weeks and couldn’t call him so he also didn’t call me “because I might be busy”.
I feel like I’m dying over here all alone. None of my friends are in the city anymore (I’ve never managed to make so many friends anyway). I’m extremely depressed and dreading the work which I hate but can’t quit!
I had an abortion over a month ago because we don’t want kids and foolishly weren’t being careful enough.
Is everything that is happening a punishment for the abortion? My mind is playing so many tricks right now that I can’t even think straight! Anyway, this was just a venting post. Might even delete later.
Thanks for reading this far.

I’m 28F and honestly haven’t travelled much in my life, mainly because of lack of money and lack of companionship.

I also spent most of my early 20s dealing with depression and staying at home, so I feel like I missed out on a lot of life. Now I’m 28 and I’m getting major FOMO 😭

I’m quite anxious about travelling alone, so the idea of solo travel scares me. I see girls who were once like me now going on solo trips or joining organised group trips, and I keep wondering why I’m not doing it too.

I feel so stuck. I really don’t want to reach 30 and realise I spent these years waiting for someone to travel with me.

For girls who were in a similar situation, how did you actually start? Did you start with a short solo trip, an organised group trip, women only trips, or something else?

I really want to start travelling and experience things instead of staying at home. Please tell me what my first realistic step should be.

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I love travelling. But I am scared. I have not gone on solo trips or even group trips without relatives or friends with me. (Have gonr on two group.treks and maybe 2 visits outside the state) In my 20s I could not travel coz of financial constraints and coz my parents were anxious about my safety. I was confident at that time. I am from.Kerala and I used to get the good old you can go anywhere after marriage. Now, post marriage, it is not very different.

My husband is a wondeful person, but we have different tastes on this matter. I am pretty frustrated at this point coz I feel like time is running out. My health situation in 20s is not same as in my 30s. And it may be different in later years and i feel i should not waste anymore time giving myself this or that reason.

It may not sound like a big deal but I have always wanted to travel and now I am super scared of doing it alone. (Ive had multiple instances of men misbehaving_childhood, public transport, crowded areas) And even group travels I found I am a bit skeptical coz they seem to charge a lot and I am very introverted.

I am.just looking for direction on how to break out of this cycle of fear and if anyone from a similar background and mindset has successfully started travelling and enjoying on their own.

Thank you in advance.