u/fuzugxudihcihvo

I am 24. I feel alone with no one left. Not that I was ever happy with family but now I feel lonely with no one physically around me.

I feel like a ghost when I am home all day for multiple days.

Anyone experienced in this?

Very bored. Open to all sorts of questions.

And no doctor prescribing me IV drip.

What do I do? I feel like death. My heart is overcompensating my very low ferritin and racing fast all the time. I can't do any physically labouring task or I feel like I am gonna die from heart attack.

All 3 doc I saw wrote down iron supplements and everytime I take them I can't shit and then I get extreme bloating, acidity etc from constipation.

Ami (mid twenty female) je flat a thaki tar arekta family r songe amar family valo raport always chilo choto thekei. We always used to ask for small favors from each other.

Ekhon ami boro hoye gechi r oder meye tao class 9 a pore. Her parents are really good and helpful people. So am I.

She lets me borrow her fridge to keep 2 container of food daily and receives my gas cylinder and other documents when I am not home.

R oi dike ora kono upi kore na voye so I make their payment whenever asked and they pay me in cash. Also whatever online work (booking, form fill up etc) they need to do, I do that for them.

Now oder meye ta ekhon amay jokhon tokhon call kore money ba onno form fill korte bole.

Ajke with much entitlement she told me to book a doctor appointment for her and when I just asked her to send the link atleast, she told me to just search in Google and do it asap "taratari koro, Google a search korlei peye jabe". 😑😑😑

Ami jeno service person.

Whatever just a rant. Kauke bolar nei tai ekhane bollam.

Tw: cancer, death, child loss, abortion, depression

I am 24. My dad died recently (mom died when I was ten) and I am got some family tea from relatives.

I knew my dad wanted a boy so bad but I was his first born unfortunately. He made it apparent how much he wished I was a boy when I was a kid.

Got to know that when I was six mom became pregnant again but soon after that she got diagnosed with cancer and had to start operation and chemo.

So they had to abort the fetus to go ahead with the treatment. After aborting they got to know it was a boy. Mom was 4 months pregnant.

I am glad that fetus was aborted because now if he was alive I would have to take sole responsibility for him. I can't even take care of myself financially and psychologically. Thank god there is no extra stomach to feed.

I just wish instead of me, their firstborn was a boy. Then they wouldn't have to try again and go through the loss that devastated then mentally.

My father especially would have been metter of emotionally with a boy by his side. Girls are burden. They are just not enough for him. I rose his anxiety not his confidence in life apparently.

Funnily enough, dad was ill as soon as I turned 18. I took care of him solely for 6 years, sacrificing my healthy and career.

Well now he is dead. And here I am. Miserable. Lonely. Fucked.

24f here. For the first time in life kinda suffering from gyno issue so very naive about this sector as I am looking for treatment.

I never had a mother or female guardian so I don't have anyone to ask about this. My two female friends also never suffered from gyno issues so they can't help either.

I am monetarily constrainted so I can't afford to go to doc over and over again.

I am thinking about doing the blood test on self then if there's imbalance, go to doc.

So what to check and when to check?

I am having cystic aches, digestive/gastric issues, really bad mood swings and irregular late periods.

Can I call myself childfree if I am open to parenthood in a very specific circumstances?

I am extremely pregnancy phobic. I wish to have total hysterectomy (except overies) in future.

I rather die than be pregnant. Also I have genetic/physiological issues that morally prevents me to be a bio parent.

But I wouldn't mind raising my partner's bio child or adopted child as a another parent if they are the green flag partner and parent themselves. And we have a very happy and stable life together.

If conditions are not met I will never be a parent and be absolutely content not being one ever.

It's not that I want to be a parent. It's just given perfect situation I wouldn't mind trying being one.

Does any relate?

I feel suffocated. And this summer has exponentially worsened my depression.

My regular meds don't work anymore. I am so fucking agitated all the time. Smallest discomfort tips me off.

I hate living in rental but I don't have money for a flat. Neither do I have a good job. Neither I have family.

All my fault. I didn't try harder. Study harder whatever. I am burnt out and I don't have any energy left in me. My bones ache from years of stress, trauma and malnutrition.

I am so angry and hurt.

So much rage.

Smallest thing tips me off the edge. I feel the anger bubbling inside within a moment for a blast which it never gets.

I am tired and agitated. Tried of living with misfortune from birth. Tired of never having anyone to protect me or care for me.

I am tired of breathing.

So much rage. Smallest thing tips me off the edge. I feel the anger bubbling inside within a moment for a blast which it never gets.

I am tired and agitated. Tried of living with misfortune from birth. Tired of never having anyone to protect me or care for me.

I am tired of breathing.

Same as title. Been so alone most of my life.

I have been very unlucky with everything in life.

I can't shake this thought of If I die no one will know if the smell of rot alerts the neighbourhood.

Same as title. Been so alone most of my life. Ama.

Could be as small as loud laughing or talking loudly in a group.

I can't even go from fast and long walk without triggering migraine after sometimes.

This is just so sad.