u/Thatrandomnerd1

*friend's parents

My brother Pete (14) and his friends, C and J (both 14), got the idea in the middle of June to buy a pool for the rough summer we usually have because the local community pool is being shut down. When Pete or his friends couldn't convince anyone to buy it for them, they got motivated to work for it. Pete mowed lawns and did other yard work around the county, and the other two did their own work, and after a few weeks, they pooled their money together and were able to buy a cheap above-ground pool. Me and C and J's parents were really impressed and thought they deserved it after working for it. We all agreed to set the pool up in C's backyard because their backyard is the biggest. They filled it up and did all the work for it, and the first weekend it was available, Pete and his friends all hung out in the pool.

The problem is, that was the ONLY time Pete or J has been in the pool. C, apparently, is allowed to go in whenever, but nobody else. His parents have been asked multiple times, and they're always shot down. One time, Pete ended up sneaking into the pool while I was at work, and when C's dad found him out there, he came out and yelled at him. C was in the water too, according to Pete. He and J were obviously confused, so when I went to talk with C's parents about Pete sneaking into the pool, I asked why they weren't allowed in at all. C's dad kept harping on the fact that Pete went in without permission, which I understand, but what I don't understand is why whenever they are asked to come over and swim, they're never allowed to. They both explained it's a 'liability' reason, meaning if anything were to happen to anyone in their pool, like if someone drowned, they don't want to be responsible and it's easier to just not allow anyone but their son in the water. But these are TEENAGERS, not toddlers, and they all know how to swim.

At the end of the conversation, C's dad was like, "The pool is on my property, and we used our water to fill it up, so we decide what to do with it." I raised my voice a little bit by reminding them that they didn't buy that pool, it belongs to their son, my brother and J. I understand that it's on their property, but it's unfair to gatekeep it from the people who helped to buy it. They wouldn't answer that and threatened that Pete wouldn't be allowed at their house at all if they were asked again, which Pete would hate to hear since he loves their house, so I left it at that.

Pete was pissed, to say the least, and loved to rant to anyone who listened while gaming with his friends about the situation. He asked if they could really do that and we should call the cops, but I told him let's not go that far yet, even though I agreed those people basically stole from him. But he and C have been friends for nearly 10 years and they do EVERYTHING together, so I'd hate to see them be separated over something petty like this.

So I came up with another idea and I went shopping online and found an inflatable hot tub for about the same amount of money they spent on the pool. It might've been just as petty, and I dipped a bit into my savings, but I bought it. Could I have bought the pool myself? Maybe, but at the same time, Pete wanted it bad and I got other things to worry about, and he's learning to work for what he wants. And a hot tub's good for my back. Pete's been in the hot tub nearly every day since it's been set up. His friends are welcome inside it too, my only rule is they gotta shower (at their own houses) before or after they get in it. It's big enough for like 5 people.

J and C have been over a lot to go in the hot tub, and their parents have noticed. J's dad is totally okay with it and thinks that what C's parents are doing is bullshit too, but he agrees that they still get their reward for all their work with the hot tub. C's parents, on the other hand, aren't too happy. C told me himself that he prefers to be in the hot tub, with his friends, rather than swimming alone in his pool, and his parents don't understand that. I haven't spoken to them directly about this, but C has heard rants from his mom about how everyone thinks they're some kind of child-hating monsters for not allowing anyone in their pool (that they didn't buy). It hasn't helped that Pete still loves to rant about it too, and he knows a lot of neighborhood kids who also come to dip in the hot tub. I do see C's mom at the store sometimes, but she doesn't make eye contact with me anymore.

I know it was petty, but AITAH?

EDIT: Holy shit, this blew up a lot more than I thought. Thank you all for your input. I wanted to clear up some things in an edit.

I'm a 30 year old man.

C's parents are pretty wealthy. I really don't think the water bill or anything they're paying for with that pool is gonna break them.

Yes, I know Pete is owed his money back for his pool. But we're on thin ice as is with C's parents and I'd hate to make things even worse. He hasn't really asked about getting his money back, all he really wanted was to use the pool.

No, small claims court is out of the picture right now. It'd be a waste of everyone's time and money, and tbh, the only people who aren't satisfied with this outcome are C's parents.

I'M NOT GONNA VANDALIZE THE POOL.

I just want to rant on an account not associated with my hobbies, sorry. I'm 34m, my wife is 35, my daughters are 9 year old twins. 

Twins kind of run in my wife's family, even though she herself is not one. From what I know she was very jealous of her cousins that are twins when she was growing up, so she's been very intense about it ever since she got pregnant. When going to her 8 week appointment, she kept talking about how she hoped the baby was two babies. I thought it was funny but not weird. When we found out they indeed were twins, my wife was so happy and so excited, and of course I was happy to be having kids too. The problems started with the baby planning. 

When decorating the nurseries, she decided that they should instead be in the same room. This makes sense for new-borns, for convenience, but she always said she wanted them to share rooms forever. This seemed very silly to me since we have a 6 bedroom house. She threw us a gender reveal, and got her family to organize us a baby shower. Both parties were themed around the fact that the girls were twins; Gifts were required to be matching, all the games and activities were about things in sets of 2. This is around when my family started thinking she was being weird but I disagreed with them.

We had a bit of an argument before the baby shower, because she wanted to give the girls what to me were overly matching names. 

Her favorites were Eva and Ava. in the end she agreed that having them be only 1 letter off was silly, and we ended up with matching, but not overly obvious names. 

When my girls were born, my wife would dress them up the same every day no matter what. When one of the girls dirtied her clothes, she'd change them both, even if that meant waking one of them up. She would get mad at me if I dressed them differently. Shed get upset if they did not both want to be fed at the same time. This is when I started noticing how weird she was being about the twin thing.

(I'm going to be using those fake names from now on.)

When they started going to kinder she bought them all matching coats, new shoes, backpacks and lunch boxes. But she would also get upset if any of them got swapped (she made sure to name-label anything). One time she complained to the teacher about sending "Ana" in "Betty's" coat the previous day. Ana has always been the quieter, more calm one of the two. Now that they are older, she likes to stay home and read. She watches tv with her mom. Betty on the other hand is a lot more energetic. She likes to play outside and build things, she likes to play videogames with me, or go stay with her aunty, my sister, who is a hiker and mountain biker. She loves sports class and tennis, and last year started doing swim too. This is the origin of all our problems. My wife doesnt like that Betty is not as feminine and calm as her and Ana. When Betty started not wanting to get her hair done every morning, they had such a massive fight the house was tense for a week. My wife likes to send the girls to school in the same or matching hair-styles, and would get upset when Betty would return home with her hair in a ponytail or messed up from sports. 

They go to private school, and Betty recently also asked me if she could start wearing the boy's uniform (pants) instead of the skirt. I said I could buy them for her if that made her more comfortable. When I brought this up to my wife, she got extremely mad, and went to stay with her sister “for a week” even though she returned the next day. She never apologized but took back her threat of getting rid of the pants. I have been very upset since this happened and have been trying to take more time out of my day to talk to Betty and make sure she doesnt feel upset with her mom. 

Our biggest fight was tonight, and why im sleeping in our guest room. While i was finishing dinner and the girls we setting the table, my wife stood at the door of the kitchen and told us all that Betty would not be allowed to do swim anymore. I got upset because she said this without talking to me first, and Betty was upset because all her friends are in Swim. 

For context here, you have to know we are from immigrant families, and our home country/elders are, to be completely honest, quite racist and colorist. My wife proceeded to explain to Betty that swim makes her spend too much time outside, that she had gotten too tan, didn't match her sister anymore, and that our family back home would make fun of her about it if we went to visit this summer. I got extremely upset at my wife and told her she cant tell our girls things like that, and that it is extremely hurtful and irresponsible. Ana went and sat at the table and Betty locked herself in the bathroom. The argument kept going, and I brought up  how ridiculous she was being about "matching". That its extremely dumb for the girls to still share a bedroom when we have a perfectly usable open one, and that what she said was very obviously racist. She said she wasnt but I decided this was not worth it and went to try comfort Betty. I ended up having a long conversation with both girls where they agreed they wanted separate rooms, and apologized for arguing in front of them. Ana also told me she hates wearing matching hairstyles because their mom is "aggressive" with the brush. I apologized to her too.

After cleaning up the kitchen, I realized my wife locked me out of our bedroom, and she won't even acknowledge me when I knock. She also seems to have taken the keys from the utility closet with her, because I cant find them.

I'm extremely frustrated. I put the girls to bed and said we'll move some of the furniture tomorrow. I called my sister and we talked but now I'm just more upset. I feel like I failed as a parent. They are 9, I should have noticed sooner. I'm seriously considering divorce. But I'm worried how the girls will get treated if we end up with 50/50 custody.