r/AmITheAngel

My husband and I have 3 kids (9m, 5f, and 3f). My kids go to a home daycare after school and in the summers. It’s run by a woman, Judy, with her daughter as an assistant. Every kid in the daycare is related to Judy, except for my kids.

Judy was a preschool and public school teacher for 20 years before opening her daycare. She’s a great teacher but she is very strict.

The kids aren’t allowed to bring any toys from home or anything with a screen (including a smartwatch). Judy doesn’t allow screen time during the school year and over the summer she only allows a half hour to an hour of PBS kids for the kids over 5 after they do roughly an hour of “summer school” while the kids 5 and under nap.

Judy also doesn’t make alternate meals without a doctors note. She tells the kids she did her job by making the food, whether they choose to eat it or not is on them.

Additionally, the kids over 5 are responsible for packing their bags when they go out (they do at least 3 outings a week). The first few times they get a list, after that it’s on them to remember their snacks, water bottles, books, toys, etc. If they forget, she keeps a small water bottle and granola bar in her bag but it’s not as good as what they would get if they remembered to pack.

My son hates Judy’s daycare. He doesn’t want to carry a backpack so he ends up drinking lukewarm water and eating a granola bar or skipping snack, he hates her lunches, he’s upset about the no screen rule and having to leave his watch at home, and he especially hates summer school.

He’s been begging me to put him in camp. I’ve been refusing because:

a) camp is $450 a week for him to be in a group of 25 kids watched by some teenagers at our local rec center. Judy charges $375 and has 8 kids to 2 adults.

b) camp is from 9-4. Judy’s is from 7-7 (our kids are typically there from 8:30-6:30)

c) the kids are learning responsibility at Judy’s and the summer work helps prevent the summer slump.

My son has been throwing massive tantrums when it’s time to leave in the mornings and my husband is wanting to give in and put him in camp to make things easier. I’m refusing to pull him from Judy’s so he’s upset at me for being difficult.

My boyfriend and I had a discussion about marriage tonight and I'm feeling quite hurt and confused.
We've been together for about four years and recently bought a house (it's in his name because he was able to do it on his own, I also wasn’t ready).

During our conversation, he said he wouldn't marry me unless I was earning more money than I currently do. He said it's hard to envision our future because he feels like he would be funding a lot of our milestones, including a wedding and that our relationship feels stagnant.

For context, I don't feel our relationship is stagnant at all. We're both busy, work a lot, and have limited time, so some life milestones have naturally happened slower than expected. I also don't think relationships have to follow a perfect timeline.

What hurt me was hearing that marriage seems to depend on my income or career progression. It made me wonder if his commitment is conditional and whether he loves me for who I am right now. He wants me to potentially join his industry and earn more money, which could be possible in the future.

I'm struggling to process this conversation and would appreciate some outside perspectives. For people who have had different incomes than their partners, how did you approach conversations about marriage and finances? If your partner said they wanted you to earn more before getting married, how would you interpret that and what questions would you ask moving forward.

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EDIT: I spoke to my boyfriend again after reading a lot of these comments because I wanted to better understand what he meant. He clarified that he does want to marry me and sees a future with me. His concern isn't my current salary specifically, but whether we're both financially stable and working towards shared goals before taking big steps like marriage and having children.

He views marriage as a financial partnership and admitted that he's questioned whether I'm in a position to contribute equally to the future we both want. While hearing that initially hurt me, I understand now that his concern is more about long-term compatibility and financial security than a lack of love or commitment.

We're both approaching our 30s, so I think these conversations are becoming more real and important for us. We still have things to discuss, but I wanted to provide this clarification because my original post was written while I was emotional and may not have fully captured his perspective.

(Also thank you everyone for sharing your perspective. I really appreciate it!)

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SECOND EDIT: He has found the post and commented. If anyone wants to go read his perspective.
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LAST EDIT BEFORE I DELETE THIS POST:
Wow, I genuinely wasn't expecting this post to receive such a big response. I've been reading through the comments and I really appreciate everyone who has taken the time to share their perspectives and look out for me.
I also realise I left out an important piece of context. Throughout my adult life, I've started several courses and haven't completed them. I'm currently in the process of being assessed for ADHD, and this has been a recurring challenge for me and has likely contributed to some of the friction in my relationship.
I wasn't trying to paint my boyfriend as a villain or seek validation that he's wrong. I made this post because I was hurt by the conversation and wanted outside perspectives on whether my feelings were understandable and how others would interpret a conversation like this.
After speaking with him again, I understand that his concerns are more about long-term financial stability, shared goals and whether we're building the kind of future we both want, rather than simply how much money I currently earn.

I am a 33 years old male in the healthcare field for the past 5 years. AlhamduLeAllah when I was single I worked hard on myself to create a comfortable life and through successful investments I was able to achieve a lot of my financial goals earlier than I thought. One of my goals was to be financially comfortable being married so I can provide a comfortable life for my wife and kids in the future inshallah - AlhamduLeAllah I was able to achieve that.

After reaching that goal 2 years ago, I decided to get married to a woman I met at an Islamic event who is Algerian. She comes from humble background and I was attracted to her values, how she carried herself with respect and her beauty as well - at least that’s how she marketed herself to me. She had part time jobs and she made minimal income - I don’t care about that but it’s important for the context of the story.

One of my requirements was a prenup, which would have applied to any woman I wanted to marry, it’s not about her at all - she agreed and signed the prenup under the condition that it provides her protection incase of a divorce and I did that.

Since we got married, my wife decided to be a stay at home wife by her own choice. I told her I am able to provide $2000 a month in allowance, in addition to me being the main/only provider (that included mortgage, car, insurance, groceries, gas, clothing and every necessity of life).

That’s where the red flags start. I will only mention a few of many many red flags for you to get an idea and tell me your advice/thoughts. Here we go:

1. She starts to tell me how $2000 a month is not enough and they are “okay” but she will be “patient” which insinuates I am not successful enough in her eyes - which I find so demeaning and constantly weighed my mental health down. Keep in mind I don’t make any demands at all while she is at home, I never ask her to cook, clean, do laundry or anything - me intention is to make her life a very peaceful and comfortable life which I think she has been taken for granted given how easy I made things.

2. If there is a month I don’t pay her the allowance due to reasons beyond my ability or just send part of it depending on my expenses for the month, she starts to withhold emotions and act cold with me.

3. She has what I think is an unusual obsession with material things and money because they are brought up in literally every single conversation. I understand that people can like nice things which is normal, but I find her to have an unusual obsession with those things which are evident by her addiction to watching social media posts about influencers who promote this type of lifestyle, she herself doesn’t post anything and doesn’t have followers/following but she consumes this content a lot.

4. She has multiple times tried to use intimacy/sex to leverage a material gain such as a bag or an expensive item. I found that to be highly disturbing given that it happened 4 times, I told her about it and she said that she was joking and I always take things out of context.

5. She constantly makes comments that reflect her view on men and relationships and that without money men can’t have love or intimacy with a woman because what does a woman get in return (whaaaat) lol.

6. Every holiday, birthday, and anniversary she expects lavish gifts. I am talking $10,000+ bags and things like that. I was able to do that a couple of times (unfortunately) but I find it takes away the barakah and given that I am super money conscious I find it haram and unnecessary to spend that much money just to make someone happy. Especially that she knows how I work day and night to provide this life and how stressed I feel constantly. Now I have an anxious association with any holiday because I know I have to prepare big bucks to make her happy, I would rather invest this money.

7. Lastly, MY TRIGGER FOR THE DIVORCE: her birthday was 2 months ago in April. She has been nagging me for so long that she wants this specific bag that’s $12,000. Last minute she also decided to visit her Algerian parents who live in France for 6 weeks and expects me to magically fund that. I gave her a total of $16,000 for both her birthday and trip - thinking that would make her insanely happy and get off my shoulders. To be honest, that really financially overwhelmed me but I was excited to feel the peace after she leaves. Lo and behold, 15 days later she asks me for her $2000 allowance…… I told her that I am overwhelmed lately juggling many responsibilities and I won’t able able to send her monthly allowance this month, especially that my mom is sick and I have been taking care of her financially as well plus the fact that I gave my wife more than enough money for both her birthday and trip. She showed complete disregard to my mental wellbeing or even my mother’s sickness and just said a chore statement like “ok I hope you and your mom get better” and started to completely withhold emotions and act cold with me. When I talked to her about all the insane comments she makes, she deflects and denies every single one of them or just says “she is joking”.

Thats when I went off and asked for divorce. To clear my consciousness in front of Allah, I consulted with an imam, a relationship coach, 3 therapists (1 male Muslim, 1 female Muslim, and 1 female non-Muslim) all of which consistently told me that I am with a scammer and I need to leave as soon as possible.

I always dreamed of being the best husband ever to my wife and future kids. I never thought in a million years that I would be a divorced man, not that there is anything is wrong with that but I tried so hard to make this work and I can’t continue to deny the financial abuse over the past couple of years - this will be financially destructive to me if I continue, especially given that my financial progress in life slowed down significantly since I got married.

I would love to hear your advice and your opinion. Do you agree this is financial abuse and that it’s fair for me to seek divorce or am I overthinking because I am in an emotional state? Am I a bad husband or is what I am doing not enough? You can see how the constant lack of gratefulness from her side is impacting myself image and mental health.

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Sad_Knee_6060

Originally posted to r/Marriage

My son claimed that my husband hit him and my husband denied it. Now he wants a divorce

Trigger Warnings: >!false accusations!<

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Original Post: June 22, 2026

My son from previous marriage is 13 years old. I have been married to my husband for 5 years and we have a newborn.

My son said that my husband slapped him and I kinda freaked out. I confronted him and he was confused (at least from his expression). He denied it vehemently and I kinda was not hearing it. He walked away from me.

After I calmed down after, I talked to him and he said that he didn't hit him and he has no obligation to prove anything. So if I want to be mad, be mad in another room. I did leave.

At night, when I joined him in the bed, he said he wants a divorce. He said that my son lied and he doesn't care why he lied. Whether he is jealous of him or want me for himself, he is not interested in finding out. He doesn't wanna deal with it and he doesn't want to be accused of something he didn't do. So he is out.

Here is the thing, I talked to my son in detail, and he is being evasive, defensive and I am seriously doubting him, but I do have the obligation to protect him..

Did I destroyed my marriage for nothing? What should I do? How do I know the truth. If my son lied than I need to deal with him and I am gonna be talking to him again and getting full story.

But my husband? He just left. I was not gonna leave him over just one slap without knowing the full story. He has never shown aggression towards him or anyone. I would have tried other methods first. Is that bad? Am I a bad mom for it that I didn't jump to divorce straight away?

I have tried to talk to my husband, but he basically said that he doesn't want to be painted as a bad person. It's not like he can prove his innocence. So he would rather not wait for another false accusation and just protect himself

Editor's note: OOP did not leave any comments in the original post

Top Comments

Commenter 1: Yea he didn’t go nuclear over just this one incident. You’ve probably done this before and he’s not willing to lose his freedom over a false accusation. I don’t blame him either. You either get your kid help or loose a good man, but it seems like you already have. > > Commenter 2: Not necessarily but this is the kind of wakeup call that only needs to happen once. > > If the kid is willing to falsely accuse him of this (if truly a false accusation) what else is he willing to accuse the husband of? > > People's lives have been ruined by accusations like that, and nobody wants to feel like they have to be on guard in their own home.

Commenter 3: I get the husband's side. People go to jail or prison over false accusations all the time and if I thought I might get put away because someone fibbed, I'd bounce too. You pointed out he's not an aggressive person. You can't blame him for wanting to protect himself. > > Commenter 4: Plus if the kid gets away with it this time, the lies will just get more and more extreme. The husband is right to get out now.

Commenter 5: So your husband who never shown signs of being violent was accused by your 13 y old son, who according to you is evasive, and the first thing you did was to be aggressive on your husband instead of talking to him and not give him the benefit of the doubt.

And you can't understand why he wants a divorce?

Next time that your son (now that he sees that you act first and ask questions second) tells you he hit him again or worse, you will again back up your son without any hesitation or proof and he will end up in jail.

Your husband is protecting himself, and rightfully so given he has a kid to take care and 0 support or trust from you.

Commenter 6: All it takes is one false accusation to ruin someone’s life. My stepdaughter once accused us of doing drugs while we were in the middle of a nasty custody battle and it derailed our lives for months and cost us quite a bit of money. Were we innocent? Absolutely, and testing proved it but that could have cost us our jobs and could have cost me my kids if my ex didn’t know me as well as he does. It had a lasting impact on our family and there is still distrust and uneasiness.

So, yeah… your husband is choosing himself and I don’t blame him. You didn’t sit them both down and ask what happened, you jumped to accusing him. If his own spouse doesn’t care to find out the truth before making a snap judgement, why should he stay?

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Update: June 23, 2026 (next day)

I questioned my son again and he admitted to lying. He has never acted out this way and he is crying now. I am still processing it and figuring it out.

I apologised to my husband, and he accepted it but made it clear that he has no interest in living with my son. So he is gonna leave and wants equal custody for our 10 month old, who is still breastfeeding btw. So I was against it

He basically told me that either I just agree or he will take me to court. He would rather not spend the money on lawyers, but he will bankrupt both of us if he is forced to. Which has happened to one of our neighbor.

So I am pissed, sad and angry. I have reported your DMs, and I am gonna keep reporting if you keep harassing me.

For people who were nice to me, thank you for it. My life is completely destroyed and nothing I can do about it

Editor's note: OOP did not leave any relevant comments in the update

Top Comments

Commenter 1: I can’t blame him. If he stayed, he’d be forever living in fear of your lying son doing it again and you flying off the handle and taking his side without getting the info first. He’s making the right choice to protect himself. Your son’s lies and you blindly siding with him could literally jeopardize his future with his biological child as well if he was wrongly convicted of abuse.

Commenter 2: Something tells me this is the last straw in a long line of things your son has done. Get a lawyer and get your kid the help he needs.

Commenter 3: Husband is right to leave to protect himself. You were right to question him and protect your son.

It's just a shitty situation for both of you, This seems to be unpopular from the comments I have read but I don't believe you deserve the harassment you are receiving.

Commenter 4: Congrats to your husband. I wish him all the best.

If I could, I’d pay for all the beers at the bar for him to celebrate.

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DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

So, for context, I’m (youthful f, rich) rich with tech money. Beauty and brains! Me and my husband are tech gurus and make almost a billion dollars a year but are still modest and not flashy (our house only cost $800k) at all. I’m also pregnant (not fat I’m literally all belly and have only gained 10lbs which is all baby).

My husband’s brother (idk, 27 m/poor) however is broke with him and his wife working some menial jobs somewhere to support them. Like, we had to loan them $200k for their $350k trailer park home. But, we don’t judge them and don’t care that they are poor! We love them just the same and are always making sure they are taken care of and that if they just worked harder and went back to college, they could also be making what my husband and I are-It’s why I remind them of our salaries constantly and how great our jobs pay!

Anyways, they had a baby last year and we’re going to have a super blowout bash with all our rich tech friends and upper crust society folks we mingle with regularly. I know my brother in-law and his wife are going to be the most broke people there and when we open up the gifts, I don’t want them to feel bad and cheap when a Fisher Price block set is sat next to a Tiffany’s rattle.

I decided my husband and I should tactfully ask them to “donate” (poors love charity!) their old bassinet and used up car seat! That way they can feel useful and less poor like they did something good for us that was meaningful- without spending a single dime! Since they don’t have any!

Well, now they are kind of avoiding us and have been stalking my baby shower registry and keep mentioning something about affording stuff. But I solved that by asking for a donation!

I’m so confused Reddit- AITA???

My roommate (20M) and I (20M) have been living together for the past one and a half years, and he is constantly bringing guys home. We live in a two bedroom apartment, so it's not the privacy I'm worried about, but it just really annoys me when he has people over. Even though we only moved in with each other for college, we've been friends since we were 14 and it's always irritated me whenever he had someone he was dating around. A couple days ago I brought up the fact that it annoys me when he brings guys to our apartment, and he got very upset with me. We got into a fight where I admitted that it just irritates me when he brings his boyfriends or even hookups to our apartment or around me in general and he got angry and made a suggestion that I was homophobic. So am I the asshole? I've never thought of myself as homophobic, but maybe I am without realizing it?

Edit: I see now that I was kinda unclear why it annoys me, so to clear some things up here are the main reasons. 1) I can hear sometimes them when they have sex, although it has never really bothered me before when I can hear my friends hooking up with someone I'm thinking maybe the stress from all my college classes or something may be impacting it. 2) The people he chooses to date are really annoying and honestly I think he can do way better. 3) Yes I would feel the same if he dated girls

Edit 2: Something I didn't really mention or think about too much before now tbh is that he dated someone in highschool who he spent all his time with and I almost never saw him, so I don't really want that to happen again. I think I don't like the idea of him getting into a relationship and leaving me behind, especially since, as corny as it sounds, since were kids we've kinda been a package deal, like his friends have always been my friends and stuff like that.

Update: I may be in love with my best friend. I think it's something I've known for a while, but the many people saying this in the replies has kind of given me the push I needed to realize this fully. I am going to have a talk with him soon. As for the fanfiction people were mentioning, I actually enjoyed it more than I thought I would. I definitely see a few similarities. Funny enough, he made me watch Heated Rivalry with him at some point and the gay sex kinda turned me on so that probably should have been a sign.

So for some context my wife and i (both 29 yrs old) are both fairly religious Christians but she and her family take it more seriously than I do. Before we married we discussed that she wants a traditional marriage where she is SAHM. I would be fine with her working but I do believe a man should be a provider so this is fine with me too and that's what we've done. She said she didn't like modern men who do things like wear a baby sling or push a stroller and I was fine with that.

Our first child was born a bit over 4 yrs ago and then our second a little under 2 years later. When our kids were young I admittedly did not help with them very much. She had a lot of help from both her mom and mine, and I also was working long hours in these days. So I never changed a diaper, maybe fed them a couple of times. If I tried to step in she would generally wave me off and say I shouldn't worry about it so I didn't. Her mom actually lived with us until my youngest was about 6 months old and still visits fairly often. Her sister sometimes comes over to help too. So she definitely has her "village" so to say.

But now that the kidss are getting older and I'm working less, making more money, I honestly want to be involved more. But it's like she doesn't want me to do anything for them ever. She always brushes me off and says that's a woman's job, I shouldn't be doing that, and even that our kids shouldn't see a man picking up dirty laundry or making them snacks. I think that's weird, my parents have a traditional marriage but my dad still did stuff like that from time to time and I turned out fine. If she sees me playing with them she usually doesn't look happy and tries to distract them from it after a little while. This is getting really bothersome because those are my kids too. I would think most women would be happy their husband wants to do stuff like that.

It all kind of finally came to a final straw the other day when i had a day off work. I secretly turned off her alarm in the night so she could sleep in that morning. I woke up early, bought her some flowers and made the kids breakfast (there was some for her too when she woke up). I'm not gonna lie, we haven't had sex in awhile either and that was part of my thinking here. But I thought it would be a nice thing to do for her and a nice morning to spend with the kids and it was. I thought maybe we could all go to the park later since it was a nice day.

My wife ended up waking up around 7 AM (normally 5:30 or 6 for her) and came down to see what was going on. I could see that she was hiding her anger for the kids. She smiled and said isn't that a nice thing daddy did but the look she gave me was glaring. Then she said to my 4 year old son why don't you take your sister to watch tv. When they went to the next room she started whispering quietly at me like, what the hell were you thinking, why would you do something like that, why would you let me sleep in, do you think I'm a bad mother?

Honestly this kinda got my hackles up because I did nothing wrong here and I retorted, do you think I'm a bad father? Why do you never want me to do anything with the kids? She flat out denied it and said that is not true, she just doesn't want me overstepping in to take on women's work. It's setting a bad example and I'm acting woke (and all these other things). So I asked her what she DOES think it's okay for me to do for/with the kids and she kinda stopped for a second like she didn't really have an answer. Then she said it's a father's job to be a provider and disciplinarian.

I was like, that's it? You think I'm here to make a paycheck and yell at them if they do something bad? And she got upset and said NO it's just not my job to take over mother's roles and it makes me less of a man and her less of a woman.

At this point we were both starting to raise our voices and I looked into the next room and I was like can we please try to calm down, we don't need to scare the kids. Can you honestly explain to me why it's a problem for a father to make his kids breakfast and buy his wife flowers? But she just got more upset and said if I didn't understand then I'm not the man she married and I'm not godly.

Honestly I just gave up and went out and spent the rest of the day walking around the mall and doing some errands. I came home and the kids were in bed and she didn't speak to me and I slept in the guest bedroom. It's been a couple days now and we still haven't talked and frankly I don't even know what to say to here. The more I think about it the more upset I get. I keep trying to see it from her perspective and all I can think is maybe it wasn't right for me to change her alarm because she might have had things she wanted to do that morning but this is obviously much bigger than that.

AIO to this? Should I try to find some compromise with her or what?

So we are sitting there watching fireworks and this thing comes out of nowhere and hits my wife in the shoulder. She flips out because she thinks it's a bat.. and she has a thing about bats. Neither here nor there I guess. Anyway, it's one of these light up planes that you throw around, like a paper airplane. It's a kids, he comes to get it, wife hands it to hi, So we're sitting there watching fireworks and the same thing happens again, hits my leg and all that maybe 3 min later.

I pick the thing up and kid who is about 4 comes to get it. I say I'm holding on to it until the end of the show, we're trying to watch. Parents are about 25 feet away and can see the whole thing.. did nothing to stop it.. Did tell him the first time to apologize I think but nothing sincere.

Anyway, dad, who we'll call "Pietro" (Not his real name... probably... because how the heck would I even know what his name is, am I right?) comes over and flips out like I'm trying to keep his kids toy. I said, 'I'm trying to watch fireworks, I told him I'd give it to him when the show is over." Mind you, fireworks are still going. Dad is going on about how I have no right. I don't even know if he actually asked for the thing back, but I handed it to him and told him not to give it to his kid before the show was over... which set him off because who am I to boss him and all that.

So... it ended up being more of a distraction than if I'd just given it back to the kid after the second time.... Was I the J for trying to hold on to this thing so we could enjoy the show in peace? I get that no one likes other people parenting their kids or whatever, but I feel like I should have a right to watch the show without worrying about projectiles.

TLDR. AITJ for trying to hold a kids toy til fireworks were over.

I recently broke up with my ex (due to some of his toxic behaviors) and after several days when he reached out to me I asked him to give me back several of my things that I left at his place.

Using this opportunity I also asked him if he could give me back some sexual gadgets that we were using - this includes ropes, chains, whips etc. - some of the stuff he bought, some of them I bought. ​I was the one who introduced the idea to use these gadgets in our relationship and I was always the one to initiate any bdsm. He followed my lead and was happy to be included in this but he never really come up with any ideas of his own and he was never the one to take full dominance in bed. All in all, I considered it to be a 'my thing' and I was the main user of all the gadgets.

​ My plan was to review the stuff and to wash and disinfect thoroughly whatever was possible. I told him that it would be a waste to throw away everything and it's not like he's going to ever use it again and I might actually still find these things useful (my logic being his passive behavior in bed and the fact that dominatrix are a rather rare thing).

When he heard about it, he got so upset he started crying, called me an asshole and told me to 'go buy my own stuff'. ​​I said that this is my stuff since he's almost never used it but he says it's 'ours' and that 'it would be a betrayal if I used these on someone else'.

So, am I the asshole?

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My dad died when I was 4.5. My paternal family stayed close to me and semi-close to my mom. My mom remarried when I was 6. My stepdad's ex-wife walked out on him when my stepsister was a newborn. He raised her without his family or hers in the picture.

My paternal family never really saw my stepsister, or later my half siblings, the same way they did me. They were kind and would buy them all little things for Christmas and birthdays. But it was very clear who their grandkid was and who wasn't. It bothered my mom enough to take a step back from them when stepsister and I were 10. That was really tough for me and I acted out a lot because I was missing the frequent visits and calls I had with my family.

About a year later my mom got me therapy and the therapist said I needed more contact with my family if my behavior was going to improve. So she agreed. My stepdad wasn't thrilled because he didn't think it was right. He even pulled me aside and asked me if I was ready to be the best big brother and think about my siblings over myself. I told him I didn't want to lose my family like I already lost my dad and he pointed out that he, mom and my siblings were my family. But it didn't stop me from wanting my paternal family and so mom let me see them whenever but kept my siblings away.

When frequent contact resumed my grandparents were no longer giving my siblings anything and they didn't start it back up either. So my siblings never got another gift from them. There were issues because of that but I understood it. Giving less was an issue and I think they only did that for kindness and not because they loved my siblings or really wanted to buy for more kids so I think they decided to continue doing nothing for them.

Two years ago I also went on vacation with my uncle (dad's lookalike brother) and my aunt (his wife) and my cousins. It was a very big deal and something my mom really didn't like. But I asked to go and she and my stepdad didn't have to pay a penny so she agreed. It was then my mom really started to point out everything I had that my siblings did not.

And now that has become an even bigger problem. My grandparents are paying 100% for me to go to college and they have set me up with a prepaid card that they will put money into weekly for me when I begin college. My stepsister was unable to get a scholarship and my parents are not in a great position to help her out with the expenses to make it easy for her. They won't be able for my half siblings either.

My mom first started venting about it in March and since then it has only worsened. It led to me moving out just before graduation because my mom would not stop complaining and trying to guilt trip me for my paternal family being invited to my graduation. She didn't think it was right since my stepsister was also graduating. A few days after graduation mom told me she hates how much more I have compared to my siblings and she said she really wishes I would reject it or distribute everything out so we all have something to help us along.

I'm looking for advice on my relationship with my mom primarily because right now I don't think any of them will improve if we're not getting along. She's so so angry and disappointed which I don't think is entirely fair but I get it too.

I'm going to call her Eva. So Eva would always go on and on about social justice, morality and how theres nothing she hates more than nazis! Evas a Very agreeable person, right ? So Eva will go out without me, which is fine, she'll come home heated up and ill ask her how her night was, and apparently her night was consumed with fighting nazis! Initially I'm proud bc fuck nazi, but it's everytime she goes out??. only to find out she fucked one of them. And this is such a weird situation to be in bc it's not like "oh the guy I work with I hate him" but turns out she has a crush them ya know ? Everyone is suppose to hate nazis! How was I suppose to know she was projecting

Yep. My nmom wore white to my wedding. How original. When I informed her that it was white, she said "it's not white, it's off-white.". I didn't wanna ruin the day since it was literally one hour before the ceremony that I saw this and I was still getting dressed myself.

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Then she wanted to start the ceremony without my husband's family having arrived. She "forgot".

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Then she announced my marriage on her Facebook before the day was even over.

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And then she posted pictures and a detailed description of the personal symbolism of our custom wedding bands. Something that we only shared with close family.

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When we saw it we let her know that we didn't appreciate the post and that we should have had the opportunity to announce our own marriage and that we wanted to keep our rings personal. she said "this is my story too". "You're stealing my joy".

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This was when it hit me like a truck. She's a narcissist. This was the first big event in my life that undoubtedly was about ME. My brain couldn't make excuses for her anymore.

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I just needed to vent. It's so sad. I didn't feel taken care of on my own wedding day.

I’m a 26 yr old guy and my girlfriend is 25. We’ve been together for almost seven years, and I’m planning to propose to her very soon. Our relationship is honestly amazing. We rarely fight, we communicate well, and I genuinely feel like she’s the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.

But there’s one thing I’ve been hiding from her for almost our entire relationship.

She has never seen my face.

When we first started dating, I developed a pretty big nose. At the time, I was convinced it would decrease within a few months, so when she asked why I never took my mask off around her, I lied and told her I had some acne that I felt insecure about. I thought I’d just wait until it decreased and then never have to bring it up again.

Except… it never decreased.

Almost seven years later, my nose is still big.

Over the years, this insecurity has completely taken over my life. During sex, I keep my mask on. At the beach or the pool, I’m constantly making sure she’s walking in front of me. If I have to turn around, I do it quickly or try to cover my face somehow. I’m always thinking about angles, towels, changing clothes quickly… basically doing everything I possibly can to make sure she never gets a clear look at my face.

I know how insane that sounds.

The crazy part is that she’s told me multiple times that whatever I’m hiding, she wouldn’t care. She’s the kindest person I know. Rationally, I believe she’d probably hug me and tell me it’s okay.

But after hiding it for so many years, it feels so much bigger than just my nose now. It’s become this huge secret that I’ve built my life around. I’m embarrassed that I’ve lied about it for so long, and I’m terrified she’ll wonder why I never trusted her enough to show her.

I feel ridiculous saying this out loud. I’m about to ask my dream girl to marry me, yet she’s never properly seen or even touched my face.

Has anyone else dealt with an insecurity that got completely out of control like this? How would you handle this if you were in my position? And if you were in hers, how would you react?

I could really use some honest advice.

TLDR I’ve been hiding my big nose from my girlfriend for almost 7 years, even wearing a mask during sex and making sure she never sees my face. I’m planning to propose soon, but after lying about it for so long, I’m terrified to finally tell her.