My birthday was Thursday. My MIL got me a stand mixer which was genuinely a nice gift, I could tell she put thought into it. Then right after I opened it she goes "well now you have no excuse not to host Thanksgiving" and the table went quiet.

I laughed it off because what else are you going to do but then Friday morning she sent a group text to like 12 people saying Thanksgiving is at our place this year and to let her know what sides they're bringing.

We live in a 2 bedroom apartment. The kitchen fits maybe 2 people if one of them stands sideways. We've been married 6 years and I've never hosted anything, not once. My contribution every year is a store-bought pie, and I'll own that. My MIL has done Thanksgiving at her house every year since we got married. Her place actually has a dining room and a full kitchen and enough chairs for 14 people.

I texted her saying I never agreed to this. She just said it's already done everyone's excited, basically daring me to cancel on everyone.

Friday night my husband admitted she'd brought this up to him weeks before my birthday, and the mixer was bought specifically so I couldn't say I don't have the right equipment. So the whole thing was planned before I even opened the box.

Saturday I drove over and gave the mixer back. I told her thank you but I can't accept something that was bought with that kind of condition on it.

She was crying when I left. When I got home I replied to the group text saying we won't be hosting and that I never agreed to it in the first place. By that evening she'd called his whole side of the family saying I threw it back in her face.

my husband told me the part he'd left out. This is the first Thanksgiving since my FIL passed in March, and his mom can't face sitting at that table without him. That's why she wanted it moved. Now she's saying she isn't doing Thanksgiving at all if it's not at our place.

He knew all of this for weeks and let me walk right into it.

He says I could have given her this one year. I keep thinking that she could have just asked.

AITA?

We’ve been friends since high school. Last year, his wife gave birth to their first child, and almost immediately, he started sleeping with a young intern from his branch office.

He didnt even bother hiding it from our private group chat. He would brag about lying to his wife while she was at home struggling with postpartum recovery, sending gross texts about his hotel hookups on "work trips." The other guys in the chat stayed silent or laughed along, but it made me sick to my stomach.

i created a throwaway encrypted email, compiled unedited screenshots of his messages and the hotel receipts he bragged about, and sent everything straight to his wife.

She filed for divorce two days later, secured full custody, and kicked him out. He currently sleeps on his cousin’s couch and calls me every night crying, begging to know which "snake" betrayed him and destroyed his family.

I listen to him sob on speaker while playing video games, tell him "stay strong bro," and hang up with absolutly zero guilt.

Some people deserve to lose everything.

This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

OOP: u/Temporary_Lie_3460

Published on: r/AITAH & r/Redditor_Updates

Previous BORUs:

• BORU-1 by u/SharkEva on November 01, 2024

• BORU-2 by u/ObsidianNight102399 on December 23, 2024

Thanks to u/smashing767 for letting me know about the update!

Trigger Warning: >!Assault, miscarriage, death!<

Story is: CONCLUDED

Story timeline

• Main Post: October 30, 2024 at 02:05 UTC

• Update 1: October 31, 2024 at 00:06 UTC

• Update 2: November 07, 2024

• Update 3: December 23, 2024

• Final Update: October 01, 2026 --> NEW UPDATE

---

Main Post

^(October 30, 2024 at 02:05 UTC)

---

aita: for walking out on a blind date my friend set up 2 weeks after my husband died?

I just really need some clarity on this situation, I 23f lost my husband 25m weeks ago to a car accident, he was the love of my life and im still not used to waking up without him everyday. we have big plans for our future and it all came crashing down in a heart beat. we met on his uncles farm, he was a farm hand and it was love as first site for me. im also 4 months pregnant but I havent told anyone, I was planning on telling my friend when I was feeling better.

My best friend Leigh 24F has been my shoulder to cry on during this time, she helped me with his funeral and anything else I needed as im NC with my bio family story for another time, she is currently dating Barry 24M they usually hang out in a trio with Liam 24M, when I first met Liam he hit on me hard tried everything as in would try and compare himself with my husband say weird things like our kids would be cuter than if you had kids with My husband. He's also made weird comments like I need a city boy and would motion himself, when im a country girl through and through, I typically would shut him down or ignore him but I would always get dirty looks from Barry.

skip to Sunday night, I got a messaged from Leigh begging me to come to dinner with her because she wanted to treat me as I had Been through a lot in the last couple of weeks, feeling not so shit about myself I decided to go. When I arrived she wasn't there so I texted her asking how long she would be and she told me 5 mins she's just running late and is around the corner so I to sat down and ordered a drink now 5 mins comes and she's still not there so I gave her the benefit of the doubt and waited another five when im about call her Liam comes rushing over and gives his apologies for being late I asked him what's he doing here because im waiting for Leigh and it was a two chair table, he smiles at me and grabs my hand I ripped it off of him and he just says oh I asked Leigh to set us up now that Husbands name isn't a problem we can finally get to know each other he looked so cringey and im telling you I was floored I stood up and told him that I wasn't interested and I certainly don't give a flying fuck about getting to know him, and that I just lost my husband

without a word of a lie this man stands up and said I know your being overly emotion right now so ill forgive you for that sit down with me, im not saying we have to have sex straight away.or anything, I was disgusted I shoved past him and went home as fast as I could when I did get home Leigh messaged me soo how was dinner with a smirk emoji I called her and when she answered I didnt let her get a word in I yelled at her asked her how she has the audacity to do something like this weeks after I just lost my husband when shoes been the one to hold me together this whole time I asked her what fucking game was she playing and that the only reason I wanted to meet tonight with HER was to tell her im pregnant I just hung up on her and texted her I need time and don't want to be contacted by her for the time being.

Last night Barry came to my house and asked to talk, I said no and that if he didnt leave id call the police, he told me that I broke Leighs heart and that I deeply hurt Liam when now is an even better time to get to know Liam because he could raise my Child With me I opened my door which Barry took as I wanted to talk instead I hit him with my shoes and chased him to his car screaming, im actually embarrassed I did that.

All day today im being flooded with messages from friends and the trio themselves shaming me for pushing the people who care about me the most away and that they don't even regonise the person ive become the only thing that hurts me most is that my husband would know what to do he would tell me how to fix it and now I have no one who I can talk to im just so numb inside, I have A therapy appointment tomorrow but im thinking of calling my husbands mum even though we've barley spoken since the funeral any advice is appreciated, please exude any typos im just so exhausted

{ Edit : I made a new account for this post as some friends have my main and id rather have some time to grasp this whole thing before I answer anyone personally. thank you }

&nbsp;

COMMENTS

she_who_knits > Very weird and inappropriate people you have as so called friends. Go NC with them. Just ew. > > Call your mother in law. She'll be thrilled about the baby. That's your support system. > >  And join a grief therapy group if there is one local to you. It's okay to be numb. It's normal to be numb when life cracks you upside the head this hard. > > OOP >> thank you, I just feel so wrecked at the minute and I have joined a grief group in the city I'm trying to grip enough courage to actually go.

---

StrongTxWoman > As somebody who has lost someone dear to me, this is unforgivable. Who do they think they are? How dare them to tell op how to grief? > > We all grief differently but definitely not within a month (except my bf's father who got a gf the next day his wife passed away). > > If I were op, I don't think I can forgive them. So they think it is funny? I can't imagine they think it was a good idea. > > Is this a troll post? No one with common sense will do that. I hope this is a troll post. > > OOP >> they think I should go out with Liam to get over my husband, I personally am in no way to be jumping into a relationship let alone having a " new family", thank you for your advice

---

MacChicken25 > These 3 are absolute shit humans. Did they absolutely hate your late husband or something? Lose the 3 of them. I can't even comprehend the audacity that would make them think any of their behaviors was appropriate. > > OOP >> Leigh used to have a crush on my husband she knew him because her brother used to play football with my husband, other than that Barry and Liam hated him because they think people from the country are stuck up rednecks, thank you for your comment

---

T0USHA3 > NTA Firstly, I'm so sorry for your loss. You did the right thing here. I would suggest not contacting that friend again because anyone should understand that a few weeks after losing your husband is no time to date. also Liam is a scumbag and you need to STAY AWAY > > OOP >> I told Liam if he came anywhere near me id shoot him, bit violent but hopefully he gets the hint

---

Classic-Row-2872 > Are you uber rich or very very attractive? Because I can't understand why these people are pushing so hard to see you with a man again > > OOP >> Leigh is the kind of woman who can't be single, I hope that explains her point of view

---

Update 1 - after 22 hours

^(October 31, 2024 at 00:06 UTC)

---

update: aita for walking out on a blind date my friend set up 2 weeks after my husband died

hello all and thank you,

I just wanted to start of with I called my Mil Louise, after making the post I thought that I needed to tell her about baby because just like some of you said, she is overjoyed about the news.

she didn't answer my call but instead drove straight over to my house, I honestly didnt know what to say to her but we just hugged and cried all night, I didnt have the best delivery about how I am pregnant probably due to all the crying but she just light up and was so happy its the first time ive seen her be this happy in all the time ive known her so at least I have some support, my Fil came over when he finished work after Mil told him he needed to come to my house and he was too overjoyed about becoming a pop.

Louise offered to have the baby and I move in and I agreed, she said that I can sleep in my husbands old room which was a little bittersweet, when I told her what was going on with Leigh, Liam and Barry she was furious and told me not to worry about it because they { Mil & Fil ] have my back after a lot of even more crying Fil told me that my husband would be so happy to have this baby grow up on a farm like my husband did overall our conversations last night was a something I needed.

now im just going to answer some comments:

1. no this isn't fake and if you choose top believe that then that's fine but don't be dragging my husband when you don't even know him. Liam dint kill my husband, it was a car accident and my husband died on impact nothing crazy went on its just awful but is as simply as that

2. Leigh was my friend for a long time she was genuinely there for me when I went NC with my parents and I thought she was a decent friend, now knowing the truth there is many things I can think of that she did that are red flags, personally I think I ignored them because I have never been close to anyone like that other than my husband.

3. Liam is a loser, And from my chat with Barry I learnt that he's always had feelings for me and he's never given up because apparently he's my type? he isn't and never will be.

4. yes I ordered a drink I didn't think I needed to disclose that I ordered a lemonade? it was simply a soda nothing wild I know im pregnant and id never do anything silly.

5. I'm not magically pregnant, my husband and i both wanted children young and were trying for about a year, we just didn't disclose that we were trying because my husband and I think its weird telling people oh were having sex an extra amount, I don't know but my husband and I are very private people and kept a lot of it that way.

and as for the trio I've blocked them, none of my family are reaching out because they simply don't know me anymore, the only friends who are reaching out are mutuals of either Leigh, Barry and one of Liams other friends, I was confused on if I wad an asshole because I just left Liam standing there and yelled at Leigh I was so upset I was confused on the entire thing

but thank you all and I will update on what happens because I know Liam will not give up until he's in jail I seriously hope is doesn't come to that but the fact he drove past my house twice is uneasy so im hopeful the move to husbands parents farm will have my baby and myself on a better path.

---

Update 2 - after 7 Days

^(November 07, 2024)

---

Firstly some good news,

I found out that I’m having a little girl, I am actually feeling a little bit better today and thought I’d update.

I moved in my in laws the next morning after they had come over, we went to the police and unfortunately there is nothing they can do unless he trespasses, comes into physical contact with me pretty much until he gets worse but I did take the initiative and move so they think he will be less of a threat now that I don’t live in that house but they did take my screenshots of his weird creepy messages and noted that he has been driving past relentlessly.

After a few days we came into town to go grocery shopping and we saw leigh, she went to come over but my MIL like stared at her and yelled NO, Leigh looked a bit awkward because my Mil was yelling yes I’m talking to you Leigh go bother someone else with your bullshit. Leigh did end up walking away which we thought was good I was greatly overwhelmed obviously about seeing her and my anxiety has gotten worse since the “ blind date” I think I was also anxious because Leigh is never without Barry so I was very worried

When we had finished shopping and was walking back to our car Leigh and Barry was waiting for us but again my Mil started screaming, she was yelling he was scum and they are trying to sell drugs to a pregnant woman pretty much anything you embarrass them and to draw a crowd Leigh and Barry did leave again not without looking scared ( points to Mil)

since that I moved in to the farm and it been drama free I had an appointment yesterday and found out about my baby girl but also that I have high blood pressure most liking due to the stress but we’re going to have to watch it just in case of pre-eclampsia as my egg donor had it.

My husband has always wanted a girl so I know she is a gift from him, but apart from the grocery store incident and the police, it’s been very positive for me being with my In laws, and there dog Spud ( don’t ask I don’t know why that’s his name)

Thank you again.

&nbsp;

COMMENTS

BananaIceTea (downvoted) > Why do people believe this nonsense is beyond me. > > PsychologyOwn257 (downvoted) >> Lmao facts this story is one of the most egregiously false and ridiculous stories I’ve ever read. I love how OP even forgets that she said she was pregnant and then tries to cover it up by being like, “uh YEAH, the drink was a lemonade”. >> >> The replies in this thread are straight up hilarious >> >> EuphoricSwimming3911 (downvoted) >>> Also that they were trying to have a baby for a year and now all of sudden it's that she used an egg donor. Because people in their mid 20s only try for a few months, then start the long drawn out process of infertility treatments, then moving to using an egg donor. All of that gets accomplished from first trying, to pregnant with a donor egg in only a year. This is the fastest infertility journey I've ever seen. That also, weirdly wasn't mentioned at all in the first post. Guess OP messed up keeping their story straight.  >>> >>> OOP >>>> I’ll break it down for you: >>>> >>>> 1 my husband and I have been married for 5 years started trying for a baby a year ago, we have a baby on the way 3 weeks ago my husband died in a car accident, we in no way used an egg donor. >>>> >>>> Respect read what has been written before you make such negative assumptions when you Cleary lack education if you can’t understand what I wrote please seek some positive thoughts have a great day

---

EuphoricSwimming3911 (downvoted) > "Just in case of pre-eclampsia as my egg donor had it." Lmao what? For the love of God. That's not how that works you moron. Also, what happened to yall were trying to get pregnant, but didn't want anyone to know because it's weird to tell people you're having a lot of sex? Now all of a sudden it was an egg donor? You can't even keep your fake story straight FFS. > > OOP >> 1) I literally wrote my first post that I was pregnant? Secondly >> >> 2) my husbands dead? >> >> 3I don’t know why you’re so upset about my pregnancy like relax maybe instead of being a negative Nelly join a positive sub Reddit 🫶🏼

---

Update 2 - after 1 month, 23 days (after 1 month, 16 days from last post)

^(December 23, 2024)

---

Update 2: Aita for walking out on a blind date 2 weeks after my husband died

thank you to everyone who helped me with my issues about Leigh and the others. It’s over I was attacked and suffered greatly.

I lost my baby a month ago and I will be logging off for a while.

I wish everyone a merry Christmas and a happy new year.

Thank you for the kindness, enjoy your holidays

- J

&nbsp;

COMMENTS

onlyinarainstorm > Hope you're okay OP > > OOP >> Thank you, I’m on a healing journey and I am safe 🫶🏼

---

NEW UPDATE

---

Final Update - after 1 year, 11 months, 1 day (after 1 year, 9 months, 8 days from last post)

^(October 01, 2026)

---

Update: Aita for walking out on a blind date 2 weeks after my husband died

Hi everyone, if you remember me It’s been a while and Ill try to make this as short as possible

two years ago I was going through what I felt was the worse year of my life. and i’m finally at a point in my life where I can speak about it without any repercussions on my mental health.

So let’s start with the trio, immediately after my mother-in-law yelled at them ,Leigh and Barry continued to try and reach me online, in person ( if I was in town) and through whatever mutual friends we had left. it got to a point where they started sending massive amounts of baby items to my old home with letters and letters I think the most they sent in a week was like sixty-eight it was crazy, I didn’t have to deal with the stress of it as my In-laws dealt with it for me bless their souls.

However Leigh did try to corner me at one point in person crying and apologetic about what happened with Liam ( as if she wasn’t the puppet master) and that she wanted us to go back to before all of the mess, I pushed passed her staring through her and that seemed to make her even more upset and incoherent but I walked away and left her there.

one night my in-laws and I decided to go to the pub for good old pub feed, now I’m still not sure if they stalked me or someone told them I was there but Liam, Barry and Leigh all came into the pub and tried to sit at the table over from us, my in-laws and I immediately got up and started walking to out and back to Louise’s car, my farther in law was right behind me the trio followed us out and was yelling I was told to ignore them and keep walking, as we did i hear my farther in law yelling and then this thud as I turn around Liam was trying to fight my farther in law, Liam was on top of him punching and Barry and Leigh was just standing there

Louise was beside her self running back to help my farther In law and I couldn’t just stand there and watch so I made a stupid decision and got involved I kicked Liam as hard as I could in his face and he fell back, I tried to grab my phone to call the police but Barry ran over to me and started beating the hell out of me I mean sometimes I can still feel him hurting me he knocked me clean out, fortunately some pub locals stepped in and stopped Liam and Barry and restrained them until the police arrived all three of them were arrested right there. Liam and Barry are currently serving time for what they did to my in laws and myself Leigh was also charged but was given probation and a massive restraining order. And I’ve made my peace with that.

In the hospital I was told that I was already in the process of a miscarriage before the assault and well getting my ass beat by grown man didn’t help. I was devastated my daughter didn’t deserve that, I didn’t deserve that. My farther in law only had a couple of cuts and bruises but he was ok as was Louise, they took me back home and nursed me back to health properly. I was an absolute wreck and I didn’t deserve the kindness and love my in laws gave me,

I told them to be mad at me, that the miscarriage was my fault and that I failed their son, they helped me get help and to stop blaming myself for situations I had no control over, they helped me with my statements to the police, selling my old house and with everything else. I could never make it up to them for what they have done for me and the memory of my daughter.

I moved into one of units on the property where I still live today, I work the farm and look after my in-laws and not to mention the sweet 10 year old spud who for his age will still keep you on your toes for a old dog, i miss my husband every day of my life and I know he’s looking after our daughter until I can see them again, I will never ever get over losing them both but I am learning on how to live with it, I made new friends and I’m truly starting to live my life again, I will look after my in-laws until they don’t want me too, they are my family and I love them dearly. It took some real hard work to get where I am, I even over came my agoraphobia believe me I am still a working progress I take every day a step at a time. Pretty much everyone in our small town knows what happened and Leigh’s parents are now on the outs for supporting her but other than that I’m glad they aren’t my problem anymore and I’m living my life without anything but peace.

Sorry for any Typos I’m on my phone sorry! Also thank you to everyone who reached out to me i genuinely appreciated, I won’t be posting anymore after this so this is goodbye.

&nbsp;

---

This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

Please remember to follow the subreddit rules, especially the ones about brigading.

Let’s aim for a respectful and friendly discussion for everyone involved.

This has been the weirdest day of perhaps my entire college experience. To start out, I have a professor for a writing class who's kind of way out there--late every day, cancels class as often as she has it, seems hostile over email if you ask a question, messes up the syllabus, and spends 20 minutes of class time going on about her personal issues.

I learned early on that this would be a class I'd just have to survive. But i'm a pretty committed student who gets almost straight As, doesn't cut class and doesn't spend class surfing on a device, and I always have assignments done on time, so I figured, there won't be any issues.​ I complained about her to a graduated friend, though, who said that she was overly critical of the type of stories he produced for the class. I guess this should have warned me to be cautious around her, but I get on so well with all my other professors that I let my guard down.

So we're about to discuss an assigned book and i noticed she didn't even know the main character's name and stuff like that, so i said cheekily, "you should probablt review the books you're teaching." I was kind of joking actually, but she didn't see it like that.​ She became furious and said, "Do not chastise me or be nasty with me. I am 51 years old. I am too old for this shit." I immediately said "sorry" and we proceeded with class as usual but my mind was reeling so much that i was silent during discussion and couldn't focus. I actually started crying a little because i have rejection issues and am extremely oversensitive, but I hid it behind my hoodie and by pretending to read. I hated myself for saying a dumb thing and then getting upset.

When class let out, a classmate caught me in the hallway and said that she was on my side, that i didn't do anything wrong. I immediately started crying hard and then the professor came over and said "we need to have a talk" and explained to me right there in the hallway, while i was hyperventaling, ​that being criticized by students really hurts her feelings because she's been through a lot, like cancer and lawsuits, and she was bullied as a child. I apologized again and explained that I was just joking. I also revealed that I am likely neurodivergent, even though I don't like revealing that because it feels like a victim card. While all this was happening, my sympathetic classmate spilled the beans to my professor from last year. This guy took me to his office, handed me a Kleenex, and made me repeat the drama in class word for word while he wrote it all down. He was really nice and again explained that it wasn't my fault, and that he had to record this in case something worse happened. Then he asked me about how everything is for me outside of class and recommended counseling and stuff like that, because I am dealing with absolutely horrible shit in my life right now. I don't want to get into it.

I am so embarrased.​ SO SO EMBARRASED. Ugh. I am an adult in college, why did I have to get into this mess????? I felt like a kid being scolded. How do I ever face these people again?​

I appreciate all your opinions on this situation!

LONGER UPDATE IS BELOW THE ORIGINAL TEXT

---

Most of the times I usually only take a bit or two from anything I bake, and my partner and his granny will share the rest. I am not as much into sweets and I literally don't mind. In 9 out of 10 or even more cases I have no problem with sharing anything I bake and I am glad they are enjoying it.

This time my peach sponge cake ended up soooo damn good that I myself ate three pieces right the first day, and I decided I want to keep this one all to ourselves (me and partner) this time. I then simply told him to not ACTIVELY offer or bring this cake up for granny this time, in case she won't explicitly ask for something to have with her coffee (she often has a surplus of these goods from other family members anyway, so we don't have to be so generous with ours this time).

His reaction was:

"Idk what's the fus about, you can bake another cake if you run out of this one. It's not even made from seasonal fruits which I'd get, but these are just canned peaches, and you are acting like I want to give her half of the baking tray, while it's just three pieces."

I told him that he is kinda reducing all my effort and time to make this cake to one single factor which is "canned peaches only" and doesn't think about, I don't know - me maybe not wanting to bake new cake right away, not to mention I'll be working next days?

He led it to ad absurdum and said:

"Well by all means, I can let you have my share of the cake too if it's that of a problem to you."

In this case I am not sure if he wanted to "help" by this suggestion, but it seems more like a passive agressive pouty snark in terms of moral judgment of my perceived greedines or "overreaction" about cake.

It's important to mention that my parter is neurodivergent, so some of these things might come to him in weird way. But I was pretty sure I am in right here, and that he has no say in something he didn't have to move a finger to make. Nor did I him his permission or blessings for it, I simply informed him about my decision. But he somehow approaches situations like he is the one to be judging my decisions, rather that accepting and respecting my wishes as his partner and equal person.

He always wants me to be straightforward with him about things, and is displeased about my walking on eggshells and beating around the bushes, instead of giving him straight clear info right away - but he doesn't seem to get, that he is the one creating the atmosphere that is preventing me to be straightforward with him. It's not easy when anything I announce to him automatically becomes a subject of his judgment and analysis in his eyes.

What do you guys think about this all?

---

UPDATE:

For those people who are interested, me and him talked about this thing again today:

1)He said I should already know by now that he can be a jabby rude d*ck when tired or not in mood. And claimed that he did not feel like talking anymore that evening, but he thought he would be rude to tell me to just just leave him alone - and I had to tell him that no, that would not be rude, but what he did instead ("suffering" my presence in the moment he wanted to sleep, and then starting to get snarky and dismissive about a random thing I casually brought up) WAS rude.

I had to remind him that I don't read his mind and it's perfectly fine to inform me when he is not in the mood for socializing at that moment anymore, and that saying "you know how I am when..." is not a free pass for him to act rude whenever he feels like it, and then expecting me to do the zen work for both of us with swallowing his remarks and managing the grey rock attitude. There is still this expectation of me managing everything for both of us, where he has hard time learning new ways instead of nudging me to adjust around him.

2. He claimed that the whole time he was counting on sharing with granny his own share of the cake, and that it's always how he does it when he measures up how much of it to bring upstairs.

And from there came the suggestion that he will pass his share too so I have more, as a genuine offer, not a jab. He also got irritated why I am trying to put rules on what he will do with the share of the cake he'd eat by himself anyway, while I was assuming he simply always eats whatever amount he wants to, and then in addition shares the more of it with others upstairs - as I never study how much of it disappeared and who exactly ate it, and did not know that he always "sacrifices" some of his own planned amount when sharing it, being always considerate towards my effort. It's something I have no way to know, but he said it was a matter of fact to him and is surprised I thought something else.

3. Me mentioning his neurodivergence is not here to "blame it" on it, nor to excuse him because of it. I genuinely sometimes have hard time recognizing what thinking style is directly caused by it and I'd always prefer to think it's that case, rather than him just being plainly dull and inconsiderate person, obviously.

In this case, it was more of a misunderstanding, but that doesn't delete the long term effect of his randomness in what he will accept without nitpicking or questioning and what not. It is still making it harder for me to be able to just put things directly in front of him, as he tends to be too generous with how he thinks he will initially take any change or announcement from my side.

4. He said that he would gladly accept me making fun of his remarks and reservations about that cake, or me stating that my request at that moment is not a subject of discussion, so we could save us the fus later. That's maybe nice to know, but still on me to be the more reasonable one in a point, where I have every human right to be irritated by his occassional inability to simply swallow some of the opinions no one asked for in situation where I am trying to do exactly as he preffers it - to state and announce new things straightly and clearly in a pragmatic way so it's easily graspable to him.

5. He also said that his remark about "me getting to bake a new cake when this one runs out" was based on the fact that I did so in the past by myself, when some cake ran out and I wanted more. I told him that yes it's true, and on paper I really can bake a new one when it comes to it - but it simply was not an appropriate argument from his side, as a matter of fact it was NO argument, as it's only goal was to minimize my reasonable request at that moment - and he had to admit this. It seems that he doesn't grasp it fully though. At least he does understand that I might not want to bake another batch of the cake next weekend, as I'd preffer this one to last long enough for the two of us instead.

[removed]

I'm a 24y.o female living in flat in apartment. 2 weeks ago new neighbours moved into the flat above mine

Few things worth mentioning before i get to the point.I live in Ukraine, and yall know we at the war. Air-raid alerts and explosions happen every day in city where i live.

Usually i fall asleep with something playing in the background, on my phone or TV and i know not everyone wants to hear someone YT at 2 am so I keep the volume around 30–35% and noone ever said it bothered them or made them uncomfortable in any way.

I have PTSD and struggle to sleep in silence and trying to do so made me extremely anxious and i had several panic attacks, so background noise helps me feel safe enough to rest. Sleeping in headphones isn't really an option as it's uncomfortable for me as hell. I also work 24-hour shifts at a local hotel. Although I can sometimes sleep during night, I have to check on guests and take them to the shelter when necessary, so I usually get around 3-4h of sleep max, so after shift I'm exhausted.

About 2 weeks ago, a man knocked on my door at 1 a.m. He said he's new upstairs neighbour and demanded that I turn off my TV because his child was sleeping. Half-asleep and not wanting to argue, I switched TV off but turned my phone on.

The next day, after I’d gone to work and returned the next day around 10am same man rang again with the same stuff to complain. I explained that I even wasn't home that night and turned everything off before going out so wasn't sure what he wanted from me. He decided that my neighbour across was the one so he focused on him instead .

A few days later, on the night before another shift, I was trying to get as much rest as possible when he knocked again at 2 am. I’d barely opened the door before he berated me: “Tonight is the only night that’s been quiet, without attacks or air alerts. Can’t you have some common sense and turn the TV off so my kid can sleep?”

I answered kinda sharply but i was mad at him already so I asked whether I was supposed to wait for an air-raid alert or something worse to be allowed watch TV, and pointed that if his child could sleep through attacks but not to quieter noises then he should look for other place to live. Other neighbours have young children as well and have never complained about me once in all time i lived there. I told him his child’s sleep isn't my concern and not my responsibility so i don't care if his kid sleeps or no then closed the door.

Yesterday while I was at work my landlord messaged me saying that TV has to be turned off by 9 pm. Apparently, man had found her contact, caller her and complained that i was being loud and ruining his child’s sleep.

So today, as I'm now going back home, i was thinking to pay that man a visit and say few probably not so nice words about how what he's done is not fair to me, and getting my landlord involved - is too much and he should care about his kid and not my TV been on.

AITA?

I was at a big art fair today. It's open-air so a lot of people brought their dogs. One such dog was a beautiful, black and white, obviously pure-bred Great Dane. He was very handsome and eye-catching. Now, in hindsight, I can understand how my request to pet this dog was not as funny or charming as I intended it to be, but it's a dog breed whose claim to fame is that they're like four-feet tall so I said, "can I pet your horse?" Again, in hindsight, it's eye-rolling. I've worked a register enough to know that the same joke repeated enough times (it's not scanning? I guess it's free haha :D) gets old, but unlike me at the register, there's no threat of being fired preventing this guy from unloading on me. "I hate that," he says. I thought he was about to make a joke, so I smiled. I guess this was a mistake. "Great Dane owners hate that. The horse/cow jokes, the saddle thing." "oh, no, I would never--" I start to say I would never like pretend to ride the dog or something, I'm aware that would hurt the dog. And I literally just asked to pet him. But this guy steamrolls right past me: "I mean, I've been told that eight or nine times already today!" I left, apologizing for being so cliche. He called out as I was walking away that I could pet the dog and he loves attention, but why on earth would I hang out with this guy who just harangued me and made me feel like the biggest asshole alive?

I guess I get that I was annoying, but damn. I feel like this guy spent probably $1000+ on the biggest, most attention-grabbing designer dog on earth because he gets off on making people feel bad for commenting on the size of the dog.

No ai used. Quotations used because I have a cool brain that replays any criticism constantly and I'm certain this is how the conversation went verbatim.

I've started to believe our marriage has a problem with sexual pressure, and I only recently found the words for it. When too much time passes between us being intimate, she gets cold. There are arguments, days of barely speaking, and a general mood in the house that I'm the one to blame. Over time it's made me dread sex instead of wanting it.

I brought it up last month, and I worked hard to keep it gentle. I didn't want to blame her, just to be understood and to figure it out together. Instead she shut down. For about three weeks she hardly spoke to me, and every time I reached out she brushed me off.

Then I learned she's been reaching out to other men. I found messages and heard her making plans to meet up with one of them. I was devastated and told her so. She told me to drop it.

Eventually she blew up at me. She said she's tired of being turned down, tired of being made to feel guilty over hurt feelings when I say no, and that she'll get her needs met elsewhere if she wants to. She said she doesn't care how that makes me feel, and that if I can't live with it, I should file for divorce.

I honestly don't understand. I was only describing how I felt. We do have sex, just not as often as she'd like. Apart from this, I thought we were doing well. How did it fall apart this fast? Was I wrong to bring it up?

Was in the middle of Central Park and the urge to go number two hit me.. I had to choose between going back to my apartment (15 minutes away) so I can sit on a clean toilet and use my bidet or going to a public one in Central Park with no bidet.. I of course chose to go home.

My girlfriend however, chose to continue walking alone and then broke up with me once I called her afterwards to inform her of the successful rendezvous with the bidet..

I don't know what the moral of the story is, but it involved a bidet and so here we are.

[removed]

[removed]

[removed]

I have been explicitly anti-lust in any form since we met 3 years ago.

Husband told me the algorithms feed him nothing but porn-adjacent content due to previous actions.

Okay, we can fix that. He deleted reddit (even though I tried to tell him there's probably ways around that content, nope no way it's all porn to him. Glad he stood his ground there if it's that bad.). Deleted tiktok. Facebook for marketplace and reels, changed himself to a female. No other socials.

All was well for years, or so I thought. All car content and dude friends.

Well I walked outside while making dinner tonight and my 17 month daughter was playing next to him. Saw his phone through the window and he was watching some girl dancing in a mini skirt. He swiped up to a second video before realizing I was watching him. Even better we're opposite types. Thin, pretty dark haired girl while I'm (actively and efficiently losing weight but) 5'2 165 lbs.

He came outside to "apologize" and handed his phone to me to go through. I yeeted it off the porch (short fall, grass, found it in 20 seconds). He's embarrassed and soooo sorry, it never happens, etc etc.

Wtf do I do now?

My girlfriend and I had been broken up for a while, but even during the breakup, we were still actively communicating and trying to work through our issues with the intention of getting back together.

During that time, I started talking to another woman. She had no idea that I was still in contact with my ex and that we were potentially working toward reconciling.

Eventually, my girlfriend and I got back together. However, just a few days later, the other woman called me, and the conversation quickly turned flirtatious and confrontational. In hindsight, I shouldn't have entertained it, but I genuinely didn't think anything would come of it. We had been talking for a while, but nothing physical had ever happened between us.

Unfortunately, one thing led to another, and I made the decision to invite her over to my apartment. We ended up having sex.

Now I'm in a difficult situation. I've cheated on my girlfriend, and the other woman has developed feelings for me and wants a relationship.

I feel incredibly guilty about the entire situation. I never intended for things to go this far, especially considering that I had just reconciled with my girlfriend.

I know I made a terrible decision, but now I have to figure out how to handle the consequences without making an already difficult situation worse

[removed]

I (33F) and dear husband (34M) have been married a little over two years now. A little background on us. My husband and I met in church in middle school. He comes from a very religious family, my mom is very religious, I’m somewhat religious. We were each others first EVERYTHING but as young kids do we broke up after a couple years.
My husband eventually married another person and I went on with life as well moving far away and almost getting married myself.
My husband and I had always casually stayed in touch and both knew there was an unspoken longing of wanting to be together but we never acted on it. Until he blew up his marriage. I was his first phone call and flight when him and his ex wife agreed on divorce. I was literally halfway around the world living my life. I am not the reason for the divorce but I did not wait for things to cool down which in hindsight was a little distasteful.
As things progressed, he kept coming to visit, but he wanted me to move back to my hometown since I was so far away and dating in different time zones is difficult! I only agreed to quit my very lucrative job and leave a great life I had built for myself if he would agree to get married again. This was something I had always wanted and was important to me. I also said I don’t want to wait 5 or 10 years. I want to get married rather quickly. This did not seem to be an issue and was a very mutual agreement if things went well dating.
Fast forward a year and we’re engaged. Plan to have a wedding in another year and a half. So about 2.5 years from me coming back home. Well three months after the engagement suprise we’re pregnant. Another two months later SUPRISE it’s twins.
I don’t want to have children with a different last name than me. Husband knows I wouldn’t want to be showing in my wedding photos. So 2.5 months pregnant, puking my brains out, exhausted AF, emotional AF, throw a beautiful 22 person afternoon wedding together in 3 weeks. My parents contrite 6k, husband 3k, and I cover the last 3k myself. It’s beautiful, everything was great, or so I thought, and I’m home in bed by 4:30 taking a nap.
I wake up from my nap and this is where the important details start to come into play. My FIL attended our ceremony but left right after photos because he was so “sick to his stomach” that his son was marrying me. So did not come to the reception where we had our twins gender reveal! During the reception my mom and sister made it a point to make sure I didn’t notice he was not there by sitting my MIL the farthest away from me at the table and making sure everyone kept their mouths shut.
A couple days go by, I’m upset, DH is upset, and my MIL is giving FIL the silent treatment. My parents are hurt as well since it was my first and only wedding that they helped pay for. They felt disrespected but also sad for me.
FIL ends up apologizing to DH. From what I hear it’s very sincere. His reasoning is that coming from a very religious family and views, DH should not have got divorced and definitely should not have got married. He should still be with ex wife.
I never receive an apology and either do my parents. I mention this to DH and MIL and I’m basically told FIL will never apologize and to stop beating a dead horse and get over it. I really did try to get over it. But that resentment always remained.
There were other instances that really hurt too that added to this blowup and need for apology. My MIL was in the living room after we got our wedding photo album. Photos FIL looks absolutely miserable. As she has it in her hands flipping through pages she tells me how hard it is for them, her and FIL, because they “just love ex wife so much”. Excuse me!? In my home!? So resentment is building.
Fast forward 2.5 years now to present day. We have flooding at our home while DH is away. FIL and MIL come over and start helping. We need to redirect the water coming into the basement with sand bags. My FIL and I disagree on how to place them. I try to explain to him that I worked in heavy civil construction for 10 years, and have at multiple different job locations been part of the team that redirected entire rivers. I’ve also created more storm water protection plans than I can even count.
FIL gets upset that we are disagreeing and his temper flares, throws things across the garage, and storms away while calling me a b**ch. I had finally had it and started screaming at him about how he’s an AH. I called him a f**cking AH to be specific. Because he left our wedding, never apologized, and truthfully does not show up or make it a point to be part of my twins lives. He told me that DH marrying me was a mistake. More things were said and he drove off.
DH has communicated that my FIL does believe an apology is in order for calling me a name. I also agree that my behavior deserves an apology. It was over the top and unacceptable. I honestly acted worse with my reaction than his initial trigger. But FIL is doubling down that he is not apologizing for leaving the wedding. He doesn’t understand why one apology has to be tied to the other. He doesn’t think he did anything wrong because he came to the reception and that was enough. He stands by his actions and reasoning that getting a divorce is a sin and my husband should not have gotten divorced at all or remarried.
I feel like I can’t let that go and I’m not interested in half an apology. He left his own son’s wedding early because he was so upset about it. Disrespected his son’s now wife, and my parents who paid a significant portion for that whole day.
Now here is where I’m asking AITAH for telling DH I am not interested in a half apology from FIL?

TLDR: FIL left my wedding early. Emotions got heated. He called me a b*tch. I called him an AH. FIL wants to apologize for calling me a name but not about the wedding. I don’t want an apology unless he’s apologizing for both.

Ive always struggled with a porn addiction. It’s something that I have never been able to shake since I was a teenager. I’m now 29 and my girlfriend is 28, we’ve been together for the past 3 years. She’s known about my addiction since the first year we got together and expressed she had no problem with it. The past few weeks, she’s become more irritable and annoying to be around, especially when she catches me watching porn. She’s been arguing that my addiction is starting to get out of hand, apparently i’ve been watching it/talking about it more often. I don’t see the problem here especially since i’ve been open and honest about my struggles from the start.

A while back, an OF creator by the name of “bonnie blue” was having an event hosted near the area i live in. I was planning to go with a few of my mates (not to participate, just to watch as i’ve been a long time subscriber to her) and somehow my girlfriend found out about this. I explained to her that I wasn’t going to do anything and I was only going to be there for moral support of my friends which she replied to crying and locking herself in our bedroom. I got annoyed and started an argument with her. It seems that i’m starting to build a resentment towards her after this incident and I don’t know what to do going forward. Am I the asshole? I truly don’t believe i’ve done anything wrong as I already told her i wasn’t going to do anything and that all i wanted to do was see a person i’ve been interested in for a while. What should I do?