u/Ravingsockmonkey

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For context this happened 3 years ago when me and my wife got married. I asked my childhood friend to be a groomsmen in my wedding and he accepted. Fast forward to the bachelor party he tells me a few days before he won’t be able to attend parts of the bachelor party/day because money was tight. Which I get the world sucks right now. We started with a round of golf in the morning, a dinner at a nice steakhouse and then finished the day hanging at the casino. He attended the most expensive part of the day which was the steakhouse. He didn’t have to gamble and the round of golf was maybe $30. Anyway fast forward again to the wedding day. Our wedding was at a hotel. He left the reception right after dinner because his girlfriend was feeling sick. So he went up to his room and didn’t come back down the whole evening. I didn’t hear from him again until after the wedding. I felt hurt I’m not gonna lie. It sucked. I imagined the wedding party staying till the end. Once he was planning his wedding he asked to meet me for lunch and I accepted. I knew he was going to ask me to be in his wedding so before it was even brought up I said “you know you don’t have to make me a groomsmen in your wedding just because you were one of mine.” And he replied “you can just say you don’t want to be in my wedding.” It got awkward from there. I’ve been sitting on this for 3 years now I feel like our relationship hasn’t been the same since it all went down. When his wedding rolled around two years later my wife was 8 months and 2 weeks pregnant. I asked her do you want to go to this wedding? She replied yes and we’re gonna stay the whoooole time. There was a little bit of spitefulness behind us staying the whole time because he left ours early. He’s reached out a few times and we talked but we never really reconnected like we used to be.
AITA?

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I (M22) have been thinking about making wine for 2 years now and have set my heart to it. This summer i really became adamant about doing it so i asked my grandpa what i need to know. He told me the basics and even gave me one of his damigiana (a big 54 L carboy).

So yesterday i was coming home from somewhere and found a supplier and stopped. Since it’s a seasonal item, he had the juice in stock so i got 6 gallon pails of Cabernet Sauvignon juice. While looking I also got a pail of white grape juice, so 24 gallons total

I brought them home and set them up in the kitchen for now so they can do there primary fermentation before i bring them into my cellar for secondary fermentation and aging

So my gf (F22) surprised me with a visit yesterday and saw the juice pails in the kitchen, she kind of went off on me saying i can’t he spending that type of money without first discussing it with her. she found it a red flag of irresponsibility and poor communication

I did respond saying it was my money, my bank account, my house and my desire. I didn’t do anything that put me at risk, I didn’t do anything that could cost me my car or mortgage or anything. It’s something i wanted to do.

She seemed to have cooled off today but she still believes I should’ve asked her first before throwing that type of money on something that she calls “crazy” and “useless”

So AITAH?

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Throwaway because I’m honestly embarrassed that this is even something I’m considering breaking up over. For context, we have been together for 2.5 years. Last night, my boyfriend decided to make himself a bowl of cereal. He poured the cereal into a bowl and then added milk, only to realize that the milk was expired.

At this point, I assumed he would obviously dump the whole thing in the trash and make a new bowl. No. Instead, this man poured the rotten milk out of the bowl, rinsed the cereal with water, and then poured fresh milk over the same cereal and ate it.

Am I being ridiculous thinking this is something break up worthy?

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Throwaway

I recently lost one of my twins, he was 6 months old. I don’t really want to go into the details, but it has been extremely difficult for me and my husband. It hasn’t even been two months, so I’m still very much grieving.

Before this happened, my sil and I were actually really close. She loved my boys and was always around them, so I know she loved my son who passed away. I am not questioning that.

Yesterday my husband’s mom had a small birthday party at her house. It was basically just immediate family, kids, grandkids, etc.

At the party, my sil stood up and started talking about how we should hold our children close because you never know when the last time you’ll get to hold them will be. In the middle of the speech, she handed me a reborn baby doll…

The doll looked almost exactly like my baby. I mean REALLY looked like him. It wasn’t a random baby doll, that shit was made to resemble him, and my sil even had one of the toenails painted because I used to paint one of their toenails to tell them apart… like what

She handed me the doll and basically said, “So you can have both your babies.” my flabbers were gasted. I took the doll in the moment because I didn’t want to make a scene at their MOM’s birthday party, but I was extremely uncomfortable.

I pulled her aside and told her that I thought what she did was weird and distasteful and that it really upset me. I asked her why she would give me something like that when my baby had literally just died.

She got mad and started saying things like, “You think I’m trying to be funny?” and “You think I didn’t love my nephew?” She basically acted like I was accusing her of not caring about my son. She also said something along the lines of, “Who do you think you are? We accepted you.”

That’s not what I was saying at all. I know she loved my son. I know she was trying to do something for me. But that doesn’t change the fact that receiving a realistic doll that looks like my dead baby, in front of my entire family, during a speech about losing children, was extremely upsetting to me.

I never took the doll home. I left it there. Now we’re not speaking.

I understand that everyone grieves differently, and maybe some people would find something like this comforting. But I personally found it disturbing and painful, especially considering how recent my son’s death was.

I (34M) am the youngest of 3 siblings. I'm financially stable, active at the gym, and all around healthy; and deemed, "The one I don't have to worry about". My mom and I, in my opinion, don't have a good relationship. To her, everything is fine, and when something happens I'm told, "He'll get over it." or "I don't remember that happening. You must've dreamt it." because when I was a kid I did used to be a liar / story teller.

Every year for my siblings birthdays they are given thoughtful gifts and their favorite kind of cake. 2 years ago I was given a gift card, which, for years I've expressed I hated cuz I don't need money and it shows the don't know anything about me; and no cake.

My birthday was coming up again and I asked for 1 thing. No presents or money, just a cake made by my mom 2 months before my birthday. She promised she would and I sadly was excited for this very small request. Promised again and again she would.

My birthday comes around, I pick my older brother up and head to my mom's. I walk in and met with the normal greeting of, "Where's your brother?" before answering with my, "I'm good, mom. How bout you? That's great to hear. Anyways, *brother is just grabbing things from the car." then I was wished a Happy Birthday.

I go to the fridge to grab a drink, no cake in sight. Kitchen counter, dining room table, or fridge. I stupidly still held hope. After dinner and conversation that I always have to carry when we meet I ask, what's for dessert?

My mom answered with an, "Oh, I forgot the cake. I think there's some old cupcakes from *previous holiday*. She then slid crusty old, mini cupcakes, that were 3/4 missing and also from 2 weeks ago.

My sister noticed how upset I was and could hear her trying to tell my mom why I'm upset while I was playing with my neice nearby. Only to hear again, "He'll get over it. He looks fine."

I should also mention that I would've even been happy with a store bought cake. Keep also in mind that my mom AND step dad both work at a market with popular bakery sections. Also every gathering my mom buys from said bakery because she thinks there should always be dessert when we get together and have dinner.

After that I told my sister and brother that I'm done. That's not my mom, she's your's. Mom, is a title that's earned and I call everyone's mother, mom, until proven otherwise. This is not a title that my mother deserves.

My brother and sister are telling me to forgive her to keep the peace, but I shouldn't keep getting my heart stomped on and watch her treat my siblings with care. Then celebrating her birthdays and mother's days, when she can't even celebrate the 1 day that's just for me.

Tbh, after this, I'm not longer celebrating my birthdays.

Am I the asshole?

I recently got engaged to my beautiful fiancee "Heather" and I love her more than anything, but we have one big point of contention in our relationship. Heater despises cheaters. Her dad cheated on her mom and it tore their family apart. Then a long term BF cheated on Heather. To her cheating is a zero sympathy, you are an absolute shit person thing.

The problem is Heather recently found out that my stepmother "Katherine" was the other woman in my parents marriage. She knew my dad before he got with my mom and he always had a crush on her, but some teenage misunderstandings occurred and they both ended up with other people. Years later they had an affair and he left my mother.

I understand that is objectively bad but I am looking at this from my own POV as the child involved. Both of my parents are absolutely useless. Katherine was the only person who cared that my sister and I had baths, a bedtime, healthy meals. When she got with my dad my sister was three and couldn't say a single word. Katherine was the only person who thought that was a problem and she should see a doctor. I'm not exaggerating when I say I wouldn't have anything without her.

My father is only good for making money and my bio mother is good for nothing. Katherine is the only mother I've ever had, and I love her despite the cheating. I've always felt my father only goes through the motions of pretending to love me, because she tells him to and he can't deny her anything.

Now that Heather knows about the affair she is completely different towards my father and Katherine. She is rude to her and speaks horribly about her behind her back. She tells me I should try to reconcile with my mother because she is a wronged woman. Heather has implied that Katherine's infidelity is worse than my mother's flat out neglect.

We were talking about the wedding and she said Katherine shouldn't be in the family pictures because she is "just the other woman"

I finally blew up and told Heather I was done talking about it, and either Katherine can be in the pictures or we can call the wedding off. She began to say but she is a cheater, and I told her I don't care and am 100% done with the conversation. Cheating is bad, but some things are worse. Heather is clearly very hurt and has been distant since.

I just had a strange encounter in the lvl 32 dungeon and I'm not sure how to handle that.

There was a tank + whitemage combo, an 8yrs old kid as tank and his parent to be more specific. When the other dps pointed out to put the tank stance on all was fine, but neither did the tank an aoe attack to grab all enemies, nor did she use ANY rotation. She just pressed 1 all the time. Also, no mitigations and such.

When I just advices her to press the aoe attack the whitemage parent wrote: "She doesn't understand, she's 8 lol"

Aaaaand now I'm not sure if I should report that to a GM or not. I mean, I understand that you want to play with your kids, but there will be a point where DDs cannot tank dungeon mobs anymore and where a tank has to use mitigations. Also, 8yrs is wayyyy below the age restriction, so... yeah. It would be another story if the parent teaches her how and why to use this skills, but it seems that she can't even read.

So... WIBTA if I report that?

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/foodgoose773

AITA for making my girlfriend pump her own gas?

Originally posted to r/AmItheAsshole & r/legaladvice

BoRU 1  Posted by u/serifflouride

Original Post  Feb 4, 2022

Since me(28m) and my girlfriend(27f) started dating, any time she drove and had to get gas I would pump it for her. Well last week she took me to work because her car does better in the snow than mine. When she came to pick me up from work she was wearing pajamas which were shorts with a long sleeve button up, she even wore her house shoes. I was embarrassed for my coworkers to see her like that so when she stopped for gas to teach her a lesson I told her my back was sore and she could pump it. She said it was too cold and she wanted me to do it. She’s the moron that wore shorts. I stood my ground, she pumped her own gas, but wouldn’t talk to me during the drive.  We pass a sushi place on our way home so I asked her to stop, she said no but I kept persisting and she finally said okay. She told me I would have to run in so I did, when I came out she had left. I told my brother because I needed a ride home, he gave me a ride home but said I was an ass and I deserved it.

If there’s any interest I can update with what happened when I got home but it doesn’t seem super relevant to my question so I don’t see the need to add it.

VERDICT: ASSHOLE

Edit-Update:

First to answer questions:

She pays for her own gas. She didn’t get out of the car but she doesn’t have tinted windows, and I didn’t expect her to dress up I did expect her to not look like a bum though.

I’m still reading comments so I’ll add stuff that gets asked a lot to this and I’ll try to respond to others.

Now for what happened when I got home:

We live in a fairly rural area and i work about 35-45 minutes away. Apparently my brother called my mom who then called my girlfriend and told her what I had said. This did include me calling her a moron and saying how embarrassed I was. When I got back home my girlfriend had moved all of my cloths and belongings into the “junk” room. I tried to talk to her but she locked herself in our room and ignored me. When I finally got her to talk to me she basically listed everything I’ve done wrong in our relationship.

This past week has been hell. She wouldn’t take me to work when it was snowing so I had to take myself and my car got stuck twice, I missed two days of work because of her pettiness. I really didn’t think I was the asshole here, but I tried to justify and explain myself. I did admit I was trying to teach her a lesson and we broke up. When I got home from work she had all my belongings in boxes by the front door and I guess that’s that. I really didn’t think I was the asshole, but obviously that’s why I posted here. Everybody that wanted us to break up got what they wanted.

I’m not sure if my update is too relationship based, so if it gets taken down I apologize.

RELEVANT COMMENTS

OOP

>She pays for the gas, I just get out an pump it for her. She is able to work from home so her schedule was pretty flexible. She owns the house and bills are 50/50. I just updated, but I do understand how I came off now and definitely understand how i’m TA.

anelis29

>> I hope you at the least, apologized. >> >> You treated her as a driver, glad she broke up with you.

OOP

>>>I really didn’t think I was TA before yesterday so I haven’t yet, I plan to but I don’t think it will change anything.

OOP on his mother since the breakup

>I am upset with her and when I talked to her she said she raised me to never mistreat a woman so in her eyes I mistreated my ex girlfriend.

Can I take legal action against my girlfriend for kicking me out?  Feb 8, 2022 (4 days later)

My now ex girlfriend and I got into a petty argument and broke up. She kicked me out of the house and I want to know if there’s any legal action I can take.

The house was a gift from her parents and is in her name, but she kicked me out without any warning causing me to have to move back in with my patents and I simply don’t want to live with them. Is there a way I can make her have to let me move back in?

Edit: The state is North Carolina

RELEVANT COMMENTS

FireIceAndOhSoWild

>Did she tell you to leave and you left?  Or she locked you out?  Was this your home and for how long?  What state?

OOP

>>She packed my stuff and left it by the door. I put it into my car and left, but living with my parents has been awful. I lived with her for around six months.

~

AstronomerPrevious71

>Get your own apartment

OOP

>>Apartments in my area are $1,200+ a month, I can’t afford that.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP

DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

My daughter is 6 years old and loves Pokémon. We decided she’s old enough to play Pokémon go and me and my husband have been playing with her all year. She also loves horses and unicorns so naturally Ponyta is one of her favorites. Some how the universe aligned for my baby and she found a shiny Ponyta. She’s been collecting all the candies so she can evolve it. My sister in law is also very into Pokémon. She has tons of cards and games and plushes etc. She’s a friend on the Pokémon go app with our daughter.

Last night she and my inlaws came over for a bbq and she was playing with our daughter on the app. She was going through my daughter’s Pokémon and saw the shiny Ponyta. She’s asked her to trade and my daughter said no. So they decided on a different trade and we went on with our night. At some point in the evening she grabbed my daughter’s tablet and said she was going to charge it. Later my husband, father in law, and brother in law decided to go fishing. My daughter wanted to go and catch Pokémon down by the lake with them. Well of course she noticed her buddy was different and saw it was gone. She cried and immediately said it was her aunt. Her grandma told her to calm down and it’s just a game. Thankfully my husband stepped in and explained to her that it was important to our daughter and it was a big deal. Sister in law hadn’t said anything up until that point. She told us to chill out and that she would trade her an evolved Ponyta. My daughter was really upset and she told her to go away and ran to her room crying. Husband and sister in law are arguing. Brother in law is explaining to mother and father in law that you can’t just trade back. I eventually ask which Rapidash my daughter can have and my sister in law tells me to ask her to choose. Well when I took her phone to show my daughter I transferred the shiny Ponyta and still traded the Rapidash. When I gave her the phone back she was mad and more arguing happened. Obviously the night was l
ruined. Eventually everyone left.

This morning my mother in law came over and asked our daughter if she could teach her to play the game too and apologized for minimizing her feelings. After they played a while we spoke about what happened. She thinks I made the situation worse. She didn’t ask me to apologize or anything and she’s not upset at any of us. She just thought we all could have handled it better. I’ll be honest when it was all happening I was seeing red. I couldn’t believe she would do that to her niece. She knows how much she loves horses and Pokémon. It’s not like she didn’t know. My daughter literally told her no! It was her buddy and she traded it for a bidoof! There were so many steps she took to do this and not once did she stop and think she shouldn’t do it. She knew it was wrong other wise she wouldn’t have hid to do it. She’s a 29 year old woman not some little kid who didn’t know better. Did I over react by transferring the shiny Ponyta and giving my daughter the Rapidash.

Wow didn’t think so many would reply. For anyone offering to trade a shiny Ponyta for my daughter i appreciate it so much. I’m not incredibly familiar with how it all works but if anyone wants to take the time to explain it or tell me how then my answer is yes thank you! Also just for some clarification once you trade a Pokémon in Pokémon go you can no longer trade that Pokémon to anyone. It’s a forever trade so no trade backs.

My sister in law has always been great with my daughter. Our daughter is the first grandchild and niece and my in laws have always been great to her. I’m shocked my sister in law did this. She was my child’s favorite aunt. She’s there for games for school events ridiculous amounts of gifts for birthdays and holidays. Also my child has never been left alone with her. Not because I didn’t trust her specifically but because I thought my daughter was too young still for overnights. All of this really shifted things which sucks because my daughter was really hurt by all of this. She’s asked why she did this to her multiple times. She’s also said she doesn’t want her at her recital that’s coming up. Her aunt literally bought the tutu and sewed on rhinestones. I’m truly perplexed by what has happened and why she’s done it.

As for my mother in law she made it right by my daughter and that’s all I care about. She said sorry to her and specifically apologized for minimizing her feelings. She also let my daughter download the app on her phone and explain to her how it works and they played together. I’m hoping with her playing more she’ll come to fully understand. My mother in law is great normally so I’m not worried about it. We have an awesome relationship she’s great with me and my daughter. She definitely plays favorites with my husband and sister in law tho.

My (21F) friend (21F) isn’t doing the best financially, so over the years, I’ve tried to help her make the best out of her situation by giving her clothes I don’t want anymore, makeup I don’t use, perfumes she likes in my collection, I’ve paid for her food, and of course, what this post is truly about, I’ve lent to her many of my own items for her to borrow. She’s always been very gracious. However, recently I’ve started noticing that she’s been taking advantage of my generosity, whether it’s intentional or not.

The most recent instance was at the beginning of the Summer. She was spending the night at my apartment and asked to borrow something to sleep in, so I gave her a t-shirt. In the morning, she told me that she’d wash it and give it back to me when she sees me next, but I eventually forgot about it since it’s Summer, and I’ve really only been sleeping in tank tops due to it getting really hot in my room.

Last month, I remembered the shirt. I spent hours searching for it in my closet, and then I remembered I lent it to her. When I saw her at our hangout later that day, I brought up the shirt and asked if she could give it back, to which she replied “I’m not giving it back,” and when I pushed a little more she
said “Don’t even try. It’s mine now. Sorry.”

I felt incredibly disrespected. I’m not a particularly possessive person, but I do believe that my generosity belongs to me, and while I’m willing to give my friend many of my things, I don’t appreciate her deciding what I give to her. I ignored many similar instances in the past, which looking back, I should’ve used as an opportunity to place a boundary, but those instances involved items that I would’ve given her anyway had she asked. This t-shirt however, was not something I was planning on getting rid of.

Last week, I spent the night at her apartment, and while she was digging in her dresser to find her pajamas, I spotted my t-shirt. When she fell asleep, I took it out and put it in my bag. Oops.

Last night, she texts me saying she couldn’t find it, and asks if I happened to take it back, to which I replied verbatim “yes it’s mine. on a real note though, i was hurt when you told me you weren’t giving it back, so when i saw it, i took it. i should’ve just asked. i’m sorry.”

A few hours go by and she doesn’t respond, but this morning she texts me saying verbatim “are u actually serious right now? u literally forgot about the shirt anyway and i told you i wanted to keep it. you have so many clothes so i don’t understand why THIS ONE SHIRT even matters, especially since YOU KNOW i haven’t been making a lot of money.”

We end up going back and forth for a while, but I’ll spare you. The last thing I said though was “it’s not about the shirt. it’s about the fact that you refused to return it when i asked. i feel like me taking it back isn’t as bad as you taking it without intending to return it.”

Am I the asshole and what can I do to fix this? I’m keeping the shirt LOL

I (26M) want to celebrate my birthday with my immediate family (my parents, siblings, and their partners). My idea was to do a 6-mile (10 km) beginner-friendly hike and then have dinner together afterward.

The problem is my brother's girlfriend.

For context, she used to be morbidly obese and, for many years, wasn't able to be very physically active. Because of that, for the past five years I've always chosen birthday activities that didn't involve much walking or exercise so everyone could participate. I never complained about it because I understood her situation.

About a year and a half ago, she underwent weight-loss surgery and has since lost a significant amount of weight. She is now at a healthy weight.

However, she still doesn't like walking or hiking. Over the past several months, she has said multiple times that she finds walking boring and doesn't really see the point of it. She says that her body is still adjusting after the surgery, and I don't doubt that this may be true to some extent. At the same time, based on what she's said herself, my personal impression is that the bigger issue is simply that she doesn't enjoy walking or other activities that involve a lot of movement, rather than being physically unable to do them.

The hike I planned is specifically meant for beginners. It's about 6 miles long, mostly flat, and has plenty of places to sit, rest, get food, or even stop early if needed.

When I suggested it, my brother immediately told me that neither he nor his girlfriend would come if I chose that activity.

I said I completely understood and offered a compromise: those who wanted to go on the hike could do so, while anyone who didn't want to could skip it, relax elsewhere, and then everyone could meet afterward for dinner at a restaurant.

My brother got angry and called me selfish and egotistical. He said I was deliberately excluding his girlfriend and that I should be more considerate.

Now my mother has gotten involved and is also pressuring me to change my birthday plans so that my brother's girlfriend can participate.

I even offered to shorten the hike, but since then I've basically been ghosted.

I genuinely don't want to exclude anyone. At the same time, I feel like I've spent years choosing activities that accommodated one person, and for my own birthday I'd like to do something I actually enjoy.

So, AITA?