r/AmIOverreacting

My boyfriend (22M) and I (23F) have been on and off for 5 years.

For months, he’s been asking me to come hang out with his friends. I’ve always declined because he told me beforehand that they “have no filter” and can be rude. Well, on July 4th, I finally agreed to go.

Most of these people are 35+ years old.

Within the first 5 minutes of being there, one of them looked at me and made a comment about my nose, saying it’s hard to look at me. Later, one of their 12-year-old daughters threw a plastic ball at the back of my head. Nobody really addressed it.

The night kept getting weirder. One of the women repeatedly told me that my boyfriend deserves better, that he should leave me, and that she could teach me how to satisfy him better. She kept making comments all night.

Then toward the end of the night, we were all sitting in a hot tub and my boyfriend started telling everyone personal details about our relationship and sex life. He told them I never give him oral, that we hadn’t had sex in two weeks, and that I don’t like when he takes care of himself sexually.

For context, I had simply wanted a break because he’s much more sexual than I am.

The thing that’s bothering me most isn’t even what they said. It’s that I defended my boyfriend when they made comments about him, but he never defended me once. Not when they insulted my appearance. Not when they talked down to me. Not when they were making comments about our relationship.

When I brought it up afterward, he basically said that I need to learn to stand my ground myself and that he doesn’t see a problem with what happened.

The issue is that I’m not a confrontational person at all, and he knows that. He knew exactly what kind of environment he was bringing me into. I was completely out of my element.

I’ve been crying and replaying the entire night in my head ever since.

I can’t figure out what I’m actually upset about:

Am I upset because I felt humiliated, disrespected, and unsupported by my boyfriend?

Am I upset because of the type of people he chooses to surround himself with?

Or am I upset because now I know I’ll never want to be around his friends again, which creates a whole new issue in our relationship?

I genuinely feel weird and unsettled by the whole thing and can’t seem to shake it.

Am I overreacting, or would you be hurt by this too?

I’m a bigger guy. I know this about myself. But here’s what happened today boarding a Southwest flight from Austin to Denver.

I get to my row and the flight attendant is standing in my seat. I tell her that’s my seat. She asks out loud, with people boarding right past us if I purchased an extra seat. I say no, it’s just me. She then asks if I’ve ever needed to buy an extra seat before. Like she was surprised I fit in a single seat.

I told her that was the nicest way I’ve ever been called fat. She says, “we call it customer of size, not fat” like the term was the problem, not the fact that she was commenting on my body in front of a full plane of strangers. When I told her that was rude, she backpedaled and tried to apologize.

I know I’m fat. That’s not news to me. But AIO thinking this was an inappropriate and unprofessional conversation?

I recently lost quite a lot of weight due to a medical issue. I’m in the process of gaining it back and I decided to improve my diet.  My gf and I split the cost of groceries 50/50 but since I was planning to buy a lot of high protein snacks and more things to add into my meals, I bought these separately since it’s not fair for my gf to have to pay for them. 

I started stocking up on things and it’s costing me an extra £50 every two to three weeks on average. One thing I’ve noticed is that I’ll go to have some of the snacks and my gf has already had them.  I mentioned this to her and she said I can just buy more.

I told her I’m specifically buying it for me so I’d appreciate it if she didn’t eat them. She said she should be able to eat things that are in our home.  I then said we can start adding them to the shared grocery shop then so she can pay for them but she disagreed and said it’s not something she needs so she shouldn’t have to buy them.

  I just told her to stop eating them if she isn’t willing to pay for them then but she said I was starting an argument over nothing. 

AIO for telling her to stop eating my food?

I posted this in the gaybros subreddit and I'm pretty disgusted at everyone saying "mind your own business" or "they're both consenting adults." (And I am gay too so I am not being homophobic here)

To me, let's not act like an 18 year old that was just in high school a month ago is the same maturity level as a 37 year old father of 3, one of which is older than 18. (His oldest son is 19)

Am I wrong for thinking this is completely disgusting? I genuinely want to end the friendship over this. AIO?

This all just happened like 20 minutes ago but I’m super upset. I have a babysitting gig Mondays and Wednesdays 8:15am-9:15am. My mom knows about my babysitting jobs, but this must’ve slipped through her mind. but this happens all the time, me constantly reminding her what I’ve got going on. I walk out to the driveway at 8:05 (the house I babysit for is only 6 minutes away) and my car is gone!! She used to it to drop my brother off at camp. Now, I don’t own the car (19 and in college), so I understand that she can do what she pleases with it, but I had no heads up!!! I had to text the mother I babysit for 7 minutes before I was supposed to show up that I wouldn’t be there! On the phone I told my mom this just makes me look like a bad person and she responds with “Sorry we (her and my dad) are awful parents.” wtf??? It feels like anytime she messes up she says something like that I hate it.

My girlfriend (24F) of two years had been a vegetarian for a big part of her life and we started dating with me having no issue about it since her food is hers and my food is mine. In these two years i have not tried to push her to eat meat and we had a lot of talks which she started about being a vegetarian and whatnot. This habit stayed along with talks of vegetarianism on how i "have potential" to become a vegetarian even though i made it clear that i do not understand the purpose of it and talks of how i could hecome a vegetarian if i wanted.

Recently she came up to me saying that she wants to be a vegan and my response was just a simple okay since thats her food and not mine. Fridge is full of vegan stuff now and we keep getting into a vegan talk every two days and i keep telling her to stop it yet it keeps going.

I dont know how much more clear i can make myself that i am not interested in her vegan talks because i believe we are meant to eat meat. I refused to watch a documentary she wanted me to watch to "see if i still eat meat after it" and i did say that i am not becoming vegan ever which i have no clue if she got it but i think she did since she told me that her plan now is to encourage her mother towards veganism. Obviously i told her to let her mother be and i have been telling her to stop talking so much about her veganism since it is getting unbearable.

If she cares about the animals so much that she wants me to be vegan why did she date me in the first place? I genuinely have no issue with her being vegan now other than the constant talks with her acting like i am horrible for wanting to eat meat. She says that she is not like those vegans but she is close and even though she says that she is not trying to force me into it i do feel like she is pushing it a bit too much. Am i overreacting for being mad and callling this behavior insufferable that she has to bring up her veganism like its her whole personality?

Sorry this is kindof a long one…

So for some context. My (f30) bf(m34) have been together 4 years. He’s a type A, strong “manly man” with a very intense job. I’m also type A with a more moderate job. I love what he does and am proud of his accomplishments. He is big (6’5, 240lbs) and is very good at what he does. I always joke that his love language is putting me into submission holds, which is from his job, but it’s always been playful and then kisses and loves on me. I actually love it!

So now to the story..

My boyfriend and I were at a bar with friends. We were really enjoying the day and it continued into the evening. He was being handsy with me and affectionate, which I loved, considering we don’t have many nights out together. He was doing his normal thing where he comes up behind me and puts my arms behind my back and then kisses my neck. My friend laughed and said it was cute and asked if that was normal. I said yes, it a simple hold and doesn’t hurt at all. I mentioned how it’s our thing and it’s his way of showing affection, and sometimes in the past, he’ll walk up behind me and put an arm around my neck, and pretend to choke me out, then kiss my cheek and be sweet.. I’ve always loved it! When he went to show them what he does, he actually accidentally choked me out. I came to on the floor, he helped me up, and he said “oh you actually passed out?”.. I brushed it off and said how weird it was (not wanting to cause a scene) and we continued about our night..

Later on, when it was just the two of us, I told him that it was actually kindof off putting that it happened and pretty embarrassing. I’ve never been choked out before, let alone in a public bar in front of our friends. I was physically fine, but shocked really. I don’t really know how I felt about it honestly. He tried to say that “I’ve done that to you 100 times, you must have twisted wrong and then passed out”.. so kindof blamed me for him choking me out? He told me that him and his friends choke each other out all the time, it’s no big deal. I reiterated that it was kindof a big deal to me and I would like an apology. I’m pretty tough and I like to claim to be. That being said, he said if I want to claim to be tough then I need to be it. In his words, I should just sack up and take it as an experience and that’s he’s not sorry.

Argument ensues… lots of back and forth, but bottom line, he thinks I’m overreacting for being upset that he choked me out in public. Honestly, if he just apollogized, I would’ve been fine. But he didn’t and said that everyone gets choked out and it’s totally normal in his world. Well I’m not in his world and have never been through it.. I told him that in his world its normal, but in mine, it’s not and it’s not common for that to happen.. he says it’s more common than I think. I’m mostly embarrassed it happened and it happened in front of friends and he was then dismissive of how it made me feel. When I told him how I felt about, he brushed me off and refused an apology…

So Reddit AIO?!

ETA, I think? Sorry I’m new to Reddit.

He’s in MMA/bjj. When I say he puts his arm around my neck, think like when a guy walks up behind his woman and like hugs/puts an arm around her neck and chest. He doesn’t just walk up behind me and put my neck in the crook of his arm.

For some people asking, I did have my hand on his arm, but I didn’t grasp or try to get him off. I just stood there and I had trust he would let me go like normal. Yes I know how dumb that sounds now.

I was at the local antique fair with my two year-old son and we ended up grabbing lunch. We found one of the few empty tables and were sharing a hotdog together. After a little while, a group of 65-year-old plus folks ended up sitting down at our table as there was extra space. I’m totally fine with this, and I’m happy to share with anyone. After a little while, the lady closest to my son ended up offering him an egg-roll. While I was taking a bite of my hotdog she handed it to him, told him it was OK to eat it, and he started to take a bite. By the time I looked up from eating my food, I pulled the egg roll out of my son’s hand/mouth and told him not to worry he didn’t do anything wrong. I then said to the woman what the fuck are you doing? That is fucking insane. I told her it was the equivalent of petting a dog without asking the owner if it is OK first, and mentioned that there could be religious/dietary/allergic restrictions that could’ve affected my son based on what she gave him. And then mentioned how inappropriate it was to offer someone’s child food without asking them first. She apologized right after that, and I acknowledged her apology. I never raised my voice or yelled, but I used a firm and serious tone the entire time. Did I overreact/am I the asshole?

AIO? So,1 month ago I gave my parents money to pay for 2 tickets for a concert that I wanted to go to (I don't have a card yet) the concert was tonight,I asked my dad where we were going to sit and he said that we weren't going. I asked him if I could have the money back since they didn't buy the tickets. He said no and then told me that they didn't have it anymore because they took my little sister to get her ears pierced(they got her a set of diamonds too). EDIT: my dad magically came up with the money for a new pair of motorcycle boots. for those of you saying that the money was a gift,it was not

I'm currently refusing to talk to them.

Basically, my I have a Disney+ subscription, and my mom wanted me to give her friend the login information so he could use it. It's my personal email and password, so I said that I didn't want to and that if she took me to his house, I could load it myself.

Anyways, I just got home from work and she came to take my Grandma to the store. She asked for my information again, but I said that it's my email and password, so obviously, it's personal, then she said something about it being "her personal information too", but what do you have attached to my email? It's MY email. Then she said to get in the car so we could go, but I literally JUST got home, PLUS, I don't have a car and had to walk all the way back here. I also have homework. I'm tired, damnit.

Anyways, she said that I was selfish and said that her friend said that it was good. Selfish for not wanting to give away my personal email and PASSWORD?

EDIT: I pay the subscription

IDC about letting other people use it, but like why are you so mad that I asked if I could login myself? Anyways, I'm just going to change the password on all of my subscriptions that she has access to and tell her she can give that to her friend and update them on her phone.

Another edit: I changed my password. I also saw that you can add someone outside of your household, you just have to pay for them. I told my mom to wait until I add it on, and that I want the additional money for it.

My bf (24) and i (23) have been living together for more than 2 years and i love him very much but he “makes” me do all the housework.
If i ask him to load the dishes or do laundry he says yes and it never happens. (He has not once since we moved in together done the laundry for example)
He doesn’t know how to cook and i have tried teaching him but he shows little to no interest.
He does clean occasionally, maybe once every two months and i feel like he knows i will do it if he doesn’t do it.

When i clean the house it takes me the whole day and i get so tired after it because it piles up so easily.

both of us work everyday for 8 hours and when i come home i usually have to clean and maybe cook if i have time and then the day is almost over when im done.
but when he comes home from work he just plays video games or meets friends.

We have talked about having kids and getting married and i told him that it wont happen unless he changes his habits.
I informed him that when he has learned how to cook a few meals and clean the house regularly without me having to ask, we can start trying.

I told him three weeks ago that he needs to clean the kitchen bc I’ve cleaned it alone the last 10-15 times and i really dont have the time and energy to clean every day after work and he said yeah fine thats fair, but he still hasn’t done it.

The kitchen looks horrible, no dishes available, utensils or cups.

Everything is dirty, the counters are barely visible and where they are visible theres just trash and dirt stuck to the counter.

I really want to clean the kitchen, but if i do it im just proving to him that i give up and clean it for him when he doesn’t.

I also told him that if he doesn’t start helping out with the housework i cant live with him, the mess doesn’t bother him as much as it bothers me.

(Just to be clear he is a wonderful person and i dont want hate, he does so much for me but the housework and cooking he just cant seem to do)

We love each other very much, hes nice, hes funny, handsome, great with kids, treats me like a queen (except housework) so i dont want to break up with him but recently ive just been so sad to have to clean alone again and again, that i seriously considered giving an ultimatum, either start helping out or i cant be with you anymore, but thats not what i want🥺 help me out guys.

What should i do? Am i overreacting over this, i feel like I’ve tried everything. What are your experiences with partners that act like you’re their mom?🫣😩

Hi everyone, I really need an outside perspective on this because my boyfriend is telling me I’m "acting like a child," and I feel completely gaslit . My boyfriend told me last year of the same event bbq that happened yesterday- if I didn't go with him to a BBQ party at his friends' house, he would break up with me. Because I would “embarrass him because he already told them I was going” So last year I forced myself to go . So I thought he’d say the same thing this year so I went again . I suffer from severe social anxiety and depression. His friends are actually a very nice married couple, but I don't know them well yet and explicitly told him I was not comfortable sleeping over at their house, and this has to do with my mental health condition not everyone understands. It affects me - especially since I wouldn't have any of my things.
To get me to agree to come, he promised me we would take the 12:30 AM train home. I trusted him and spent 70$ on an Uber just to get out there to be with him. He was already sleeping over there so I had to arrive on my own. And I had a feeling he’d try sleeping there again so I set boundaries and told him how I felt about sleeping over other peoples houses And he said don’t worry we won’t
When I arrived, my phone was glitching and I was struggling to find him. When I called him for help, he got mad at his directions over the phone, saying, "cross the fucking street, it’s not that hard," which immediately sent my anxiety into overdrive.
Later that night, he intentionally missed the last train home on purpose. He then admitted to me that he lied about leaving at 12:30 AM just so I would come, because he knew if he told me the truth about sleeping there, I wouldn't have gone. He literally overrode my boundaries and i felt unprepared and uncomfortable and in the morning i looked like hell, I even felt like throwing up because I drank to help my social anxiety.
I woke up this morning feeling completely stuck, dirty, unprepared, and deeply uncomfortable. The married couple were so nice and welcoming but it’s the fact I suffer from severe social anxiety and I barely know them . He knew them for over twenty years so he didn’t have an issue. To make matters worse, the house has an active security alarm, so I can't even leave on my own without setting it off. When I tried to wake him up this morning to take the 830 am train like he promised when he decided we’d sleep there so , he refused to get up, told me to stop "acting like a child," and went back to sleep to ignore me We ended up taking that train home but I’m still furious.
I feel so incredibly manipulated, disrespected, and hurt. He thinks I'm throwing a tantrum over nothing and being immature, but I feel like my trust was completely broken.
AITA for being furious about not wanting to crash at another persons home After a night of partying ? No. He also constantly follows thirst traps on IG and once told me if I don’t delete my IG he will break up with me and they mostly are BBL bandits

Hi everyone. I am 15F, and me, as-well as my 11 year old biological brother currently live in-between my father and mothers house week on week off as they are divorced, and have been for 3 years.
My mom’s house simply consists of her, me, and my biological brother.
My Dads house consists of me, my biological brother, my stepmom, my 4 year old step brother, and my baby half brother. Meaning i am the oldest out of 3 boys.
I hate to say it my life is inherently way more stressful at my dad’s house. They both have extremely demanding jobs meaning i am made to watch the baby, clean up (which i typically don’t mind), and occupy my siblings. I also have to take the public bus for over 2 hours and a half each day (which would be a 15 minute drive via the highway but the transit routes in my city only go around it) as they directly moved far away from my school district due to the desirability of our current neighbourhood (stepmom is a doctor).
The problem is that next year i am staring high-school, as-well as starting the IB program which is essentially an advanced curriculum, something that was recommended by all of my teachers when i placed 2nd out of 80 students on the math exam.
I am not sure I will be able to keep up with my current lifestyle at my dads house and have considered threatening to move to my mothers house all together.
In a way I already know my answer to this post, but have gotten mixed opinions from the family members I have told. I am also not sure how easy this would be as I am almost certain my dad would put up a fight to hand over custody. However, to his disadvantage he talks really horribly about my mother to me and my brother. So I suppose this may help me win. My mom also severely prioritizes my education, as she too hopes i do a lot of university.
So, AIO?

So I [25f] have been with this guy [29m] for 3 months when a week before this incident, we were having an argument. It was over the fact that when he talks to me about his past (in general), he never forgets to mention women from his past that he claims weren't right for him or cheated on him (blah blah blah). So I brought up that I'm not necessarily interested in hearing about his previous relationships like that and that I'm feeling quite uncertain about my place because of it, so to reassure me, he asked if "I would want to have a threesome and watch him fuck another girl". I (rightfully) got extremely upset and asked what would possess him to ask that? He claims it was a joke. I didnt find it funny one bit. We talked about it, he felt assured that it was dealt with. I wasn't.

I go to see him this time and I still have it in the back of my mind. We're in bed when he notices I'm overthinking so he asks me to tell him what's wrong. I say that because of what happened last week, I feel unsure of our relationship and that he isn't speaking to other people. He offers me to go through his phone (while I hate to admit it as someone who's never wanted to do that, that's exactly what I wanted), so I do. I go onto his snapchat and see that there are two random girls and so I ask him, "Who are these girls?". His response is to say no one, so I ask him to click on one of them where his message is still delivered and he refused. He starts going on about how he'll just delete them and its not a problem. I reiterated that its not okay and he wouldn't be hiding it if he thought so too. He ends up removing them (and therefore whatever was on there) which led to an argument (definitely mostly me) where I questioned and asked why would he delete them and not just show me. He says he panicked. I asked what the fuck he said to them. He said that he must've just replied to one of their stories. I said fuck that and was going to leave but it was 2am by that point and I was emotionally devastated.

I don’t know if I'm stupid or just trusted that he wouldn't do anything like that (again, he consistently brings up the fact that he was cheated on in his previous relationship). He says he deserves a second chance, but I don't see how I can physically give one when my trust and faith in him are completely gone. I don't know if I'm actually overreacting especially because I technically didn't see anything. I suppose, what do I do?

TLDR; My partner deleted people from his phone after I saw him messaging people, but didn't want me to see the message.