r/AmIOverreacting

I have a hormonal disorder known as pcos or pmos. Well I sometimes have irregular periods from time to time. I still have regular periods naturally occurring and have been off of birth control for over a year now. After talking to my boyfriend about my condition he came to the assumption that I can’t get pregnant at all. Due to him thinking that he doesn’t like to use protection . He worries about me possibly getting pregnant but doesn’t like to use the prevention which is condoms. I only use condoms atm due to hormonal testing by my dr and she told me that I no longer had to take bc. My boyfriend keeps trying to force me to use birth control so we don’t have to use protection.

Then one day he said well I’m gonna get you pregnant your body wants a baby and I’m going to give you one. Then I’ll leave you and the baby and abandon you. He already has 3 children by 2 different women from failed relationships. His go to is if the relationship doesn’t work out he dumps all responsibility of being a father and if they’re still together then he’ll play daddy. He claims it’s because of depression . But am I overreacting about this even tho I have pcos ?
Plz be nice I’ve gone through a lot of trauma

We have a 4 year old and a 2 months old. We were all sitting together and then he left to go to the other room so I was with a crying baby and a hyper kid close to bedtime Alone for like 30-45 mins or maybe longer. I can usually handle it but it was getting too intense so I called for him a few times. He finally came out and asked me what do you want? As I was changing the screaming baby. I probably didn’t hear him/answer him the first time so he added “What do you need? Use your words.”

I told him it’s getting overwhelming so he told our kid to go play outside bec mom is tired.

I feel like 1- he has eyes and ears and deduction skills 2- use your words is something you tell a toddler not your partner 3- I already complained that in the last couple of month he has been giving me orders and talking to me without respect (no name calling, just condescending).

Also he phrased it “mom is tired” to my daughter as if I’m the problem when it has been a really long day. I feel like directing her to something outside or saying we need a minute here is better.

P.s. my daughter is very sensitive about me telling her to give me space as she was extremely attached to me and suddenly baby is demanding a lot of of attention. So it is always better these days when someone else calls her outside instead of me “rejecting her”

Anyway now I feel I want to text him or talk to him about it, but he’ll probably tell me I’m inventing problems and making a big deal.

Am I overreacting?

I went on a date with this guy recently. We went out and visited a museum, and honestly, everything was going really well. We had a good time and I felt comfortable with him.

At one point, while we were in the museum, he suddenly said, “I want to kiss you.”
I told him, “I’m not ready.”

Immediately after that, his entire attitude changed. He became really short with me and almost passive-aggressive.
We were supposed to get something to eat afterwards, but he suddenly said he wanted to go home and didn’t feel like doing anything anymore.

I asked him directly, “Are you upset because I said no?”
He said, “Nooo, but yeah, because this is already four dates and nothing has happened. I pay for everything and it feels like you’re putting me in the friend zone.”

That honestly shocked me.
For context, he kept calling it four dates, but two of those times were literally just us going to the gym together. We had gone out to eat once, and he had gotten me a €7 side without even getting me a full meal. I also paid for my own train ticket.

I told him, basically, “If you want to be friends, then just say that. I’m not going to kiss you because you paid for something.”

At that point, I gave him the flowers he had brought me back and left the museum immediately. I went to the train station alone and took my train home.

Afterwards, I blocked him everywhere because I was completely turned off by the way he reacted to me setting such a basic boundary.
He later found me on Pinterest and messaged me saying that he thought we had misunderstood each other and that he didn’t want to make me uncomfortable.
I didn’t respond. I just kept him blocked.
I understand that he can be disappointed if he wanted to kiss me, but the fact that he immediately became cold and then brought up how much he had supposedly spent on me made me feel like he expected something in return.
So, am i overreacting for leaving immediately?
A friend told me he might’ve acted like that out of nervousness but honestly it just looked like he was pissed at me for saying no. Some other friends said I maybe overreacted by leaving immediately but I just felt like staying with his bad mood would ruin my day so I just left because nothing good was coming out of this.

My wife and I are currently house hunting and my sis in law seems to think she knows how much house we can afford. My wife may have told her how much she makes but I know she hasn’t told her how much I do. I work in a fairly niche field and not many people know what it entails unless you’re either in the field or work in adjacent fields, so I’m fairly certain SIL has no idea what the pay could be.

We were casually talking about housing one day and they were talking about a family friend who might sell their very nice house soon. I asked how much it might be worth and she says “you guys probably can’t afford it.” Like okay? My wife and I aren’t ones to flaunt at all but there is no way this woman knows much if anything about our finances. Yes this house might be really nice so I can see where she’s coming from but still kinda rude. I brushed it off but I got pretty angry when the next comment happened.

My wife sent her a listing for a house we were interested in and SIL says that it’s X amount more than what she paid for her house and her monthly payment is X, so she doesn’t know if we can “swing it.” Excuse me, you have not looked at our finances, have no idea what we have saved up or how much I make, what makes you think you know what we can afford?

Not that it matters a whole lot but my wife and I have zero debt and have enough saved in retirement that we could buy the house we wanted outright (obviously wouldn’t). SIL has nothing saved for retirement, multiple loans, and credit card debt; so why would I take financial advice from her?

I understand that she has bought a house and we are first time buyers so she wants to give us advice, so she may just be awkward in what she’s trying to say, but I’m getting fed up with this woman for her general attitude of thinking she knows everything and thinking her opinions are facts.

I usually just ignore the dumb shit she says, but if she says anything like that again in front of me I think I’ll have a hard time not calling her out passively aggressively,
saying something like “how do you know so much about our finances?” AIO or would I be overreacting if I responded?

EDIT: some context: we initially didn’t tell her ANYTHING. She just overhead us talking to their older brother about it cause he’s smart, normal, and respectful, and we were looking for general advice. SIL had no idea we were looking yet. Never talked to her directly about it. Next day she starts spamming my wife with listings with a budget she chose.

To her credit we have been talking non stop for the past week, and this is the first time I took a while to respond. I think it was a little bit much to call and make sure I didn't suddenly start hating her after less than a hour of not responding. Do you think this is a red flag?

I’m posting anonymously because I genuinely want some unbiased opinions. I’m getting married in about two months, and a situation with a family member has completely blown up right before the wedding.
My great-aunt was a major parental figure in my life growing up. About two weeks ago, she contacted me because she was concerned about my fiancé. She told me that for roughly the last six months, she hasn’t seen him “sober” and believes that every time she sees him he is either high or drinking.
If that were actually happening, I would completely understand why she was concerned. I wouldn’t want to marry someone who was constantly intoxicated either.
The problem is that what she is describing does not match what I see at all.
My fiancé does use marijuana recreationally. It is legal where we live. He also drinks occasionally. I’m fully aware of both and have no issue with the amount or circumstances of his use.
He does NOT show up to family gatherings high or drunk. He does not drive under the influence. We live with my SIL/Brotherand their children, and he does not use marijuana around the kids or while they are awake.
When my aunt originally brought this up, I told her I appreciated that she was looking out for me but that he wasn’t constantly high like she believed. She essentially told me she knew what she saw and at one point said, “Don’t get cocky with me.”
Yesterday she contacted me AGAIN about it. This time she said she had discussed it with other members of our family and claimed that everyone had noticed the same thing. She also started saying that he was smoking around my niece and nephew.
That particular accusation bothered my SIL, who is also my MOH, because they are her children and it is her home. She knows exactly what happens in her house and confirmed that my fiancé does not use around her children.
My SIL ended up starting a group conversation with some of the family because apparently this had been discussed among them. She basically said that yes, my fiancé occasionally uses marijuana, but he does so legally and responsibly, isn’t under the influence around her children, and that she wanted to clear up what was being said before our wedding.
It went horribly.
My great-aunt immediately became extremely angry and told my SIL to “mind your own fucking business,” told her to “back off,” and repeatedly said it wasn’t her business. She also told my fiancé that he needed to come speak to her “like a grown ass man” and at one point referred to him as a “brown ass man,” which understandably created another issue entirely.
My fiancé defended himself and said that his recreational use is between him and me and that he was upset about being portrayed as a drug addict.
Then my aunt compared him to my mother.
This is where things became extremely personal for me. My mother was an abusive drug addict when I was growing up. My brother and I were removed from her care and placed in foster care. My great-aunt KNOWS this history extremely well — she was actually one of the people who intervened when I was a child and took care of us for a period of time.
So comparing the man I’m about to marry, who occasionally uses legal marijuana, to the person whose addiction and abuse resulted in me being removed from my home felt incredibly cruel.
I told her that bringing my mother into this crossed a boundary.
She has now said she is no longer coming to our wedding. She was paying for our DJ and has canceled that, so two months before the wedding we suddenly have to find and pay for another DJ. She is also the grandmother/guardian of our junior bridesmaid and junior groomsman and has said they will no longer be participating either.
This has been particularly upsetting because she had previously been supportive of the wedding and had actually helped other family members become more accepting of our marriage.
I am not claiming marijuana is completely harmless, and I understand some people strongly dislike it. I also understand why a family member would approach me if they genuinely believed my fiancé was intoxicated constantly. I would want someone who loved me to say something if they truly thought I was entering a dangerous marriage.
What I’m struggling with is what happens after I tell someone their perception is wrong and another adult who lives with us confirms that the behavior they’re alleging isn’t happening.
My fiancé is also taking this particularly hard because he grew up around serious substance abuse himself, so being portrayed as an addict is extremely hurtful to him.
I’m obviously emotionally involved in this and my wedding is only two months away, so I’m trying to figure out whether I have a blind spot here.
Would you consider occasional legal marijuana use itself a legitimate reason to be this concerned about someone getting married? Am I underreacting to my fiancé’s marijuana use, or has my aunt crossed the line from expressing concern into trying to control our relationship? And would you try to repair this before the wedding, or accept that she chose not to attend and stop engaging?

I (36F) am trying to figure out if I’m completely overreacting here or if my mom’s (66F) behavior is as deeply strange and unhinged as it feels to me.

Yesterday, my stepdad (69M) lost feeling in his left arm for a few hours. My mom took him to urgent care, and they immediately sent him to the ER for a suspected TIA (mini-stroke). He was absolutely terrified because his own father died of brain cancer, and the sudden neurological symptoms triggered a massive health scare for him.

Around 10:00 PM, the ER doctors decided to admit him overnight for a full stroke workup (MRIs, CT scans, blood work). My mom told me that the exact moment the doctor said he was being admitted, she stood up and said, "All right babe, I'm going home. Love you, bye," and left him there completely alone. She called me from the car, literally chuckling about how she dipped out, and asked me what fast food places were open at midnight because she was hungry.

I was floored. Her excuse for leaving him was that she had to work at 6:00 AM the next morning. For context, she works a part-time baking job at a tiny country restaurant two days a week. It is not an essential or high-stakes job. When I asked her, "You're not actually going into work tomorrow, right?" she doubled down, making a huge scene about how she had to go, despite her boss explicitly telling her to stay with her husband.

Shockingly, she did end up calling out of work this morning—but instead of rushing to the hospital, she used her sudden free time to go grocery shopping. She then started aggressively texting me, insisting on driving past my house to drop off groceries for me.

I don't need groceries. I told her I was incredibly confused by her priorities, that I didn't need anything, and that she needed to get to the hospital and be there for her husband. She immediately got defensive, played the victim, and claimed I was being dramatic. Her excuse this time? "He text me and said not to rush because he wanted to sleep, and he asked me to bring him Kind bars."

To be fair, I might be extra triggered by this. Three years ago, I almost died from sepsis and was hospitalized for five days. My mom only visited me for about an hour a day, leaving me entirely alone to deal with the trauma. (She did feed my dogs, which I appreciated, but the emotional abandonment stuck with me).

I know my mom has a lot of repressed childhood trauma and completely shuts down/flees when anything serious happens. But I feel sick to my stomach for my stepdad. I know exactly how cold and lonely it feels to sit in a hospital bed facing a life-threatening scare by yourself. He hasn't even been there for 24 hours, and she is manufacturing every possible errand just to avoid standing by his side.

Am I overreacting? Or is this really fucking strange behavior for a grown woman?

**edit to add - as soon as my mom told me they were at the ER, I told her I was on my way. She told me to wait until they received his test results. I asked if she at least wanted me to bring a phone charger and snacks but she said "no we're okay" plus my step dad is very private so when my mom told me no and to wait, I respected that.

TL;DR: My stepdad was admitted to the hospital for a suspected mini-stroke. My mom immediately abandoned him in the ER to sleep at home, tried to prioritize a part-time baking shift the next morning, and is now delaying going back to the hospital by running grocery errands and trying to force food onto my porch. AIO for calling out her behavior, or is this completely dysfunctional?

I signed my 4 year old daughter up for a summer dance camp this week. It is Monday through Thursday, half days.

Monday we dropped her off and it was only 6 kids, one of which was my daughter’s preschool classmate last year and so we knew her and her mom.

At drop off, no one introduced themselves or asked about who each child was. Some kids may have already done a dance class here so I just assumed the instructors already knew the other students.

Other parents walked their kids into the ballet room and just kinda walked out and left. I walked in last, introduced myself and my daughter, confirmed the pickup time. The instructor said they will call if anything comes up then I walked out. I watched from behind a double mirror for a few minutes then left.

At pickup they released a few minutes early, and my daughter’s classmate’s mom (Mary) wasn’t there yet, so I figured my daughter and I could sit with the girl until her mom arrived. All the other parents left, so I felt a little weird sitting there and told the instructor I knew the girl from school and was just going to keep her company until her mom shows. The instructor said “oh okay! See you tomorrow!” And walked back to the office out of sight.

Mary showed up a minute or so later and we all went home.

Yesterday was day 2, I left to pick up my daughter and got stuck behind a truck painting lines on the road and had literally no other way to go so had to wait behind them and ended up going from early to late at pickup. I texted Mary letting her know the situation and asking her to wait with my daughter and that I would be just a few minutes.

When I arrived, my daughter was sitting with Mary and her child in the waiting room, no staff to be seen. I thanked them for waiting with her and left.

Last night I was thinking about this and realized that the staff were really just leaving 4 year olds alone with a non-related, non-authorized adult both days. This has nothing to do with Mary, as I trust her and have been to her house so she’s definitely not a stranger. But the dance camp doesn’t know our relationship beyond me telling them our kids were classmates. For all they know, Mary could have walked out with my daughter. I could have walked out with hers.

I was already weirded out when they didn’t give us any first day introductions but now I’m downright angry. I’m paying to leave my child in their care and they are not even signing out the children and ensuring they are being dismissed to a legal guardian.

At preschool they release the children one at a time and only to a confirmed and approved person who has to sign them out and is on camera. This dance camp is our first extracurricular like this so I’m just curious if this is normal?? Or should I call and make a complaint? AIO for being so mad?

Yesterday I was in the parking lot of a popular coffee shop. I parked my car in handicap (as I have a handicap placard) and I saw a young woman (early to mid 20s) pull up to the parking space infront of me that was also a handicap spot. She did not have a placard and it was clear she shouldn’t have been parked there.

This infuriates me As someone who is handicapped. She was moving frantically like she was in a rush and hopped out of the car and left it running. When she got out I shouted to her across the way and I said “you can’t park there” she looked at me like I was annoying her and she goes “what?” I repeated myself and I said “that’s a handicapped stop you cant park there” to which she scoffed and responded “I’m just running in to grab my mobile order real quick”

I told her that it doesn’t matter and that it’s selfish to park there. She rolled her eyes, waved me off and goes And continued walking away, ignoring me. I was seething.

I got home and told my roommate about it and she kinda laughed it off and said I overreacted. She asked me if there were other handicap spots open (there were 2 others) and I told her yes but that doesn’t make it ok for someone who isn’t handicapped to park there. She just kinda shrugged and went back to her book.

Was I really making too big a deal out of this?

I found out that my brother was using the location feature in Snapchat to watch where I am when I'm not home. He had in the past months made comments about knowing when I was driving through certain areas and "watching me drive". The last straw was when I was hanging out with a friend and he sent me a message asking why I was at the location I was. After figuring out he had used my location on the Snapchat map and a bit creeped out that he was keeping track of where I was, I turned my location off in Snapchat.

He then started asking to see my phone randomly after I had turned off the permissions. When I asked why he needed my phone or what he was going to do he would pretend like he didn't remember why he wanted it. He's a computer guy and pretty tech savvy, so I usually have him help me if I have phone issues. I let him use the phone yesterday for a second to fix an issue I had. As soon as I got my phone back, I looked at my Snapchat. He had turned my location back on.

Again, yesterday, I left my phone in the other room because I'm a forgetful ADHD and asked him to grab it for me because he was in there. After he grabbed and handed it out back to me, I checked my Snapchat app again. Location was back on. I deleted my Snapchat. Am I overreacting?

My husband and I live in England but are both from the West Coast. We recently flew home to visit family and had a baby shower while we were there.

It wasn’t a traditional women only shower. It was a catered party with all of our friends and family, and several friends flew in from out of town specifically to be there, which was so sweet. Since we live overseas and are about to have a baby, we probably won’t see a lot of these people again for close to a year.

One of our longtime friends, “Mark,” grew up with us and lives literally a 10 min drive down the street from my parents, where the shower was being held.

About halfway through the party, Mark got pretty drunk and decided he wanted to do karaoke at his house. He started inviting some of the friends who had flown in to leave the shower and go back to his place.

Apparently they didn’t seem particularly keen at first, but Mark kept insisting. He also asked my husband, who told him he didn’t really like the idea and suggested that if he really wanted to do karaoke, he could bring it over to the party instead. I still wouldn’t have loved that lol, but obviously better than taking people away from the shower. Mark kept pushing and eventually my husband basically said he couldn’t stop him.

I knew none of this was happening.

About an hour later I noticed a 5 of our friends were gone. I asked where everyone was and got filled in, and I was pretty annoyed.

When Mark eventually came back, I said, “Hey, that was pretty fucking rude of you to take people from our baby shower to go sing karaoke.”

I genuinely expected him to just acknowledge it and apologise. Instead he completely doubled down. He told me it wasn’t weird and that I shouldn’t be upset because my husband wasn’t upset.

My husband is an extremely calm and non confrontational person and would never make a scene at a party. He had also already told Mark he didn’t like the idea. He later told me he was actually really bummed that everyone left, he just wasn’t going to start a confrontation over it.

I walked away because I didn’t want to spend my baby shower arguing with him and went inside to spend time with my family.

Later I came back downstairs and Mark pulled me aside to “talk.” I explained again that I thought the whole situation was weird and rude. If he really wanted to hang out with these friends, they were all around the entire next day (my husband and I were flying back so they were all his). Why did he need to take a group of people away from our baby shower during the few hours we actually had everyone together?

Instead of acknowledging that, he started patronising me and literally speaking to me in a baby voice. Saying things like, “Awww, are you upset? Ohhh, that’s such a bummer.”

He also kept repeating that because my husband “wasn’t upset,” I shouldn’t be upset either.

At that point I told him he needed to leave.

This was also when I fully realised how drunk he was. He started saying goodbye to everyone and announced that he was going to drive himself home.

I pretty loudly said something along the lines of, “Oh yeah, Mark is going to drive home drunk. How does everyone feel about that?”

I’ll admit that probably wasn’t my most mature moment and I was pissed off by then, but I also thought it was insane that he was even considering driving. We are in 30s for god sake.

Someone eventually drove Mark home in his car while another friend followed so that person could get back to the party.

By the end of all of this, the karaoke situation, the arguments and getting Mark home had taken up a huge chunk of the shower.

I think that’s why it bothered me so much. My husband and I had flown across the world, some of these friends had flown in specifically to see us, and this was a really small window where everyone we love was together before we go back to England and have our baby.

I don’t actually care about karaoke. If everyone wanted to go do karaoke after the shower, great, I'm pregnant, I love a 9pm bed time. It was organising a separate hangout in the middle of our event and taking a group of guests with him that I found rude. Then when I told him it bothered me, instead of just saying sorry, he mocked me for being upset.

There’s also some history here. This isn’t the first time Mark has gotten way too drunk and behaved in a way I’ve found inappropriate. There have been other incidents over the years involving alcohol where he’s become angry or acted in ways that really bothered me. I don’t want to list every example because I’m genuinely trying to judge this situation on its own, but I think that history is part of why this feels like the final straw.

We’ve been friends for a long time (almost 20 years), so I don’t take ending or distancing myself from the friendship lightly. But especially with us having a baby and living on the other side of the world, I’m starting to feel like I just don’t want this kind of dynamic in my life anymore.

AIO for being this upset about what happened at the shower and feeling like this might be the point where I distance myself from him?

Edit: added a comment for claification but here again:

As everyone is asking, I’m not upset with the friends who went. I talked to them afterwards and it sounds like Mark was really sad and they felt bad for him. They’re genuinely sweet people and I love them dearly. Their plan was to go over for an hour and then come back, but it turned into about 2.5 hours because Mark kept dragging it out with various things. Part of the reason I feel like an asshole in all of this is that it does seem like Mark is struggling with his mental health right now.

Also, just to clarify the vibe of the baby shower because I think some people are picturing a very different event. There were no baby shower games or anything like that. It was basically a big backyard pool party with a taco truck and lawn games. We had some alcohol available, but honestly not even that much (makes me wonder if Mark had taken something?). I’m surprised anyone managed to get as drunk as Mark did with what we supplied. (Party started at 2pm and went until 9ish)

And to everyone saying my husband needs to grow a spine, I totally get where you’re coming from. He is going to call Mark this week to talk about what happened. He’s trying to figure out how to approach it because at this point it feels like the conversation needs to be bigger than just “you were rude at our baby shower.” Given the pattern of behavior, it seems like there may need to be a more serious conversation about his mental health and substance use.

Also this is a real story, not AI, feel free to check my very boring post history about being pregnant.

I recently moved directly above a fast food. I’ve been in a couple of times, and the last two times the same employee asked where I live. He started by « do you live around here? I haven’t seen you before. » to « where do you live exactly, upstairs or down the street ». It made me uncomfortable enough that I promised myself to never go there again.

I see him outside smoking constantly. He always finds my eyes. It’s not a polite smile, it’s a look, and he makes a point of holding it. I’ve started planning my exits around not crossing paths with him. I don’t know how to describe the uneasy feeling I get when i see him.

Tonight at 3am there was water damage in the shop. Firefighters knocked hard on my door first, came in, looked around, found nothing, and left to check my neighbor’s place. I pushed my door mostly shut, then opened it again a minute later, and here he was coming up the stairs. Not rushed, not worried, just wandering the building looking around. Our eyes met right as he reached my door and he gave me this small smile, like oh, so you’re here. I shut the door immediately.

I know the leak probably came from above and he had a reason to be up there. But he now knows exactly which apartment is mine, and I’m now terrified.

And also I think he owns the place, and yet didn’t look in any way worried… could he have provoked a leak ??

I want to report him but my friend says I am overreacting, am I? I can’t get this gut feeling out that he’s going to do something to me. I’ve never felt this scared and I’ve lived on my own in multiple appartment for about 10 years and I’ve never been this worried. Ahhh sorry for the long post, thoughts?

EDIT: I think he owns the shop, not the building! Also entrances are separate but it’s within the same big building.

My boyfriend and his ex share a child as well as a pet. I’ve posted before about our difficult history as he firmly believes that being a good co-parent involves full integration of his ex into his life. He treats her well. They speak daily and spend time together weekly as a family. I am not invited to their time together which has caused some conflicts in the past - especially around holidays and vacations. I have been trying for years to put in place boundaries that protect my needs and that of our relationship.

Recently, their pet was sick, and we were away, so his ex came with their child to his house. We do not live together, but obviously, I spend a lot of time at his house when our schedules align, and I consider the bedroom a private, intimate space. Because the pet was sick, the ex and the child stayed overnight, and she slept in his bed.

For many reasons, this has been disturbing to me, but he does not see this as a big deal and has said that I am causing drama during a time when more important things are at stake and that I am consistent in causing drama around a person who is important to him and will always maintain a central role in his life. He characterizes himself as a great father and loyal family man and suggests that I am always jealous and insecure. He says I am overreacting around a bed.

Many of you have asked why I stay. Beyond staying or going, is this a big deal? Is it me?

EDIT: We don’t live together because I also have kids, but we have been together for many years, and I am supposedly the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with. He has also been separated from his ex for many years, but they want their young child to experience family life and feel that if anyone else is there, it would be distracting. All immediate family members can be present though (grandparents, siblings, cousins, etc.). I am sometimes invited now, but sometimes not. I still have some issues with this, too.

38m have been with my husband 48m for going on 10 years now. When I met him, he has no hobbies (aside from going out and drinking) so I introduced him to my many passions (video games, books, anime, films, reality tv). Eventually some of these became ways for us to spend quality time together. He has sometimes mentioned that he's not sure if he's into any of these hobbies but loves to spend time with me and share them .

Last year we had a baby, with no village/support a lot of our shared stuff went away: vacations, date nights, exploring small towns, hikes. We drifted apart and I brought us back together and said let's commit to an hour of video game time every night to reconnect. He agreed, we jumped into a new game, discussed strategies, talked about exploring locations and characters all the while raising our baby..it felt like old times a bit.

The other day, I overheard him talking about how he is so glad I have chatgtp to have video game discussions with (builds/guides) because he 'is not into this stuff - at all'. He even used a topic I had brought him and was excited to share, as an example of an odd conversation he is glad I have with chatgtp instead.

I feel like this made me completely shut down..I felt embarrassed and stupid for sharing any of my nerdy things with him.i don't understand why he would live in these conflicting realities, but it makes me not want to share anything with him anymore. He's obv noticed the relationship has gone cold (cuz I'm the only warm one in the relationship) and keeps trying to interrogate me about it.

When I eventually mentioned this all to him, he says he was just exaggerating in the moment. However exaggeration doesn't change the entire direction of the statement so it leaves me quite confused.

AIO for feeling manipulated by my boyfriend over a short sleeved shirt?

I know deep down I don’t believe that this is a healthy relationship, but i still proceed because I love him with all my heart.

When me and him first met, i used to dress normally. Balanced not too revealing and not too modest. I spent 2 years like that. Then he started telling me to dress more modestly (long sleeves, baggy clothes, wear a scarf etc) and i went through with it not because of what he was encouraging but because at the time i chose to wear “modestly”

(he is very religious)

For 1.5 years everything about me got diminished like my personality and my mental state. But I couldn’t take it anymore. I spent that entire year at home mostly, and lost a lot of friends because of my mental state. I gained more weight and quit my sport. My relationship with god was barely existent. At the beginning i would cry whenever i was going out.

So i started returning back to my old version. It felt like breathing for the first time in a while.

His reaction was kinda supportive, but when i told him i will wear a short sleeved shirt, he changed. Told me that i don’t respect his boundaries so in return he will do whatever he pleases without prioritizing me.

I told him that i became so depressed and i want a release and to feel alive again.
He said “Sure so please excuse me i am depressed too so imma go have a release my own way”
He also said that if i complain about what he will do it will in a break up. “And one complain from you about anything i do, it will end in a break up”

And it goes on and on like that. I’m currently out wearing the short sleeved shirt but i wished i went out while being supported. I was barely holding my tears in while talking to him.

It’s my first relationship ever. I am someone that is very soft that it helps so hard to breakup, it actually feels impossible.
I want advice on what to do and how.
Thank you so much for reading my post, and sorry if it’s too long