Login

u/LittlePetty2025

r/AITAH r/AmiInTheWrong r/AmIOverreacting r/FriendshipAdvice
Image 1 — AIO: My MIL wore white to my wedding?
Image 2 — AIO: My MIL wore white to my wedding?
Image 3 — AIO: My MIL wore white to my wedding?
▲ 257 r/AmIOverreacting

AIO: My MIL wore white to my wedding?

I’m sorry this is so long, but I feel like context is generally important.

So this actually happened some years ago but we’ve had a lot of issues with my MIL since. I just noticed it for the first time today, so it’s now got me wondering if this was in fact done to undermine me, or if I’m just reading into it too much.

At the time, my husband (29M) was extremely close with his mom (65F). I’d only met her maybe twice at that point because she lived in another state and our whole relationship went REALLY fast. I’m talking like dating in June, engaged in August, married in October.

Over the course of our marriage (and especially having kids), A LOT has come to light about her. Specifically, she is incredibly manipulative - but in the sneaky southern sweet type of way. She also has a VERY strong need for validation.

MIL and FIL divorced well before all of this because he was gay. From that point on, my husband ended up being her source of validation and she would basically create drama just to get him ‘on her side’ and make her feel special. It was all very weird, and my husband now looks back and sees how much she manipulated him against his dad and completely destroyed his relationship with him.

Now she tries doing similar things with our children (who are all still very young), and thankfully my husband started to realize it all rather quickly after getting married, and we’ve been able to set some stern boundaries. Every time she disrespects them, he gets more and more angry with her which has of course created a lot of distance between us and her up to now.

She still undermines me in every way she can, most recently this weekend. On my child’s birthday last week, we were FaceTiming with my own mom for about 45 minutes at 10am during which my MIL tried calling SEVEN times. Even after I sent her a text that we would call her back after we hung up. She desperately wants to be their #1 person (and I don’t mean in a normal Grandma type way, I mean she inserts herself into every interaction possible and tries very hard to make herself the ‘star’ of the show).

The birthday party followed on the weekend, and was set for 2pm. Initially we accepted her offer to pick up our grocery order on the way but she said she’d get there early in that case so we chose to do a delivery the day before instead and that offended her.

She then said she had some furniture pieces to bring for us (knew we were looking for another small dresser and bookshelf) so would bring them to the party and get there early to unload. I let her know it would be better for my husband to just swing by after work one day for them since we have a truck and that way she wouldn’t have to load them into her car herself, plus we wanted to keep my child’s birthday party about them and would have had to move furniture around to bring the new pieces in.

Day of the party, she texts us to say that she’s on her way - at NOON. My husband let her know we were in the middle of getting everything wrapped up and an extra body would make it harder to get things ready in time, so to please show up at 2:00 when it starts. She replied “I’ll try”, and he told her if she did get here early it’d be okay for her to wait in the driveway. Thankfully she got the hint.

She then shows up at 1:45 (okay, no big deal) but with a car FULL OF FURNITURE. She spent the entire party corralling my kids around her, telling everyone she could all about what a favorite grandma she is and why, and then when my oldest child did something wrong and I called him over to correct him, she said “come to grandma” over me MULTIPLE TIMES and tried to talk to him about it instead until my husband straight up told her “no, he needs to listen to his mother and she’s going to handle it as his parent.”

I have SO many stories I could tell like this - many much worse, but at least it gives an idea.

Obviously I didn’t know about any of this on our wedding day though. So anyway, I was looking back on our photos tonight and for the first time ever I noticed what she was wearing and my flabbers were GHASTED. I even showed my husband when he came home (he asked if she’d responded about another issue we were dealing with her on today), and without me even saying what he realized too.

It also turns out, SHE WAS A WEDDING PLANNER for two years.

It’s not a dress so maybe that makes a difference? But my is it WHITE…Knowing what I know now, there’s NO WAY this was an innocent mistake right? Or am I just overreacting? (Photos attached)

ETA: The jeans were my call, sorry y’all don’t like them! lol

To answer a common question, yes, I didn’t see this until 7 years later and wanted some outside perspective so came to Reddit (questionable choice).

I have a much better understanding of the white at a wedding rule now thanks to you all though, and clearly misunderstood it as no solid white, so appreciate being taught the actual stipulations!

I do see now that it was an overreaction, so am giving her the benefit of the doubt when it comes to her choice of outfit.

u/LittlePetty2025 — 2 days ago
▲ 3 r/AITAH

AITAH for wanting to distance myself from my best friend?

A little background information, my family and I (32F) was a part of a home church for a lot of years and we were extremely close with everyone there. Things became very toxic, and those relationships ended up severed with a lot of drama mixed in.

A big reason for it was because we remained close with my husband’s best friend (Casey - 30M) who had left the church group a while back. The church made a lot of assumptions around it, and basically labeled him demonic. It wasn’t a huge issue until I raised concern about something completely unrelated and then went through a misunderstanding that we happened to be with Casey during and things just blew up and ALL of the blame was put on the fact that we’re friends with Casey.

Anyway, it was a really painful split for me especially because only one friend (who was new to the church) even decided to keep talking to us at all. I’ll call her Shelby (37F). She and I grew to be very close, but lately our schedules have made it harder to spend much time together.

Aside from Shelby, I have only one other friend in the area and that’s Casey’s (now) wife - we’ll call her Samantha (28F). She’d only gone to one service and had an AWFUL experience in it, but other than that doesn’t actually know anyone there and has made a point to wave/be friendly when she sees them in public. She’s fairly new to the faith but has a heart of gold and hungry to know God more.

Because both of these friends of mine have very similar interests I’ve brought up doing something together sometime but Shelby hasn’t really seemed interested. I get it, but it does make it difficult because all of our schedules are so limited so instead of the 3 of us going thrifting or plant shopping for example, I’m trying to plan doing the exact same things each week or so but with both of them separately. They did meet once at my kids birthday party but didn’t really talk much.

Shelby texted me though that she’d seen Samantha in town and waved but that Samantha didn’t wave back, and basically called her rude. I suggested she probably didn’t see her or remember her or something along those lines because that’s not at all how Samantha would intentionally be, but was met with a brick wall about it and Shelby made it clear she has no interest in getting to know her at all.

I’m completely fine with them not becoming friends, but the way this was brought up and how Shelby spoke about Samantha really rubbed me the wrong way. Shelby’s also been spending time with those from the church a lot more than we’ve seen each other for the past couple months which is absolutely no problem, except I know that she’s rather impressionable and I especially know how manipulative the people there can be and how much they still (for SOME reason?) talk about Casey and even Samantha - who literally none of them have gotten to know AT ALL.

It all just feels very judgey and to be honest I cannot stand how people can say such horrible things about anyone they’ve practically never met - and especially when they are SO wrong about them.

I’m okay to just leave it be, but there’s also a part of me that wants to distance myself from Shelby more now because I feel she’s being heavily influenced by these other people’s (delusional) opinions. In my mind, I can’t understand why if someone doesn’t wave back you wouldn’t just make a second attempt like “hey, how are you?!” I feel like if they really are being straight up rude they’ll make it clear after that, but simply not waving back once is just wild to me to assume that they’re a mean person?

Am I reading into this too much? And would I be the A hole if I were to distance myself some based on how she judged and went off talking crap about my other friend?

reddit.com
u/LittlePetty2025 — 2 months ago
▲ 2 r/AmiInTheWrong+1 crossposts

Would I be wrong if I distance myself from my best friend?

A little background information, my family and I (32F) was a part of a home church for a lot of years and we were extremely close with everyone there. Things became very toxic, and those relationships ended up severed with a lot of drama mixed in.

A big reason for it was because we remained close with my husband’s best friend (Casey - 30M) who had left the church group a while back. The church made a lot of assumptions around it, and basically labeled him demonic. It wasn’t a huge issue until I raised concern about something completely unrelated and then went through a misunderstanding that we happened to be with Casey during and things just blew up and ALL of the blame was put on the fact that we’re friends with Casey.

Anyway, it was a really painful split for me especially because only one friend (who was new to the church) even decided to keep talking to us at all. I’ll call her Shelby (37F). She and I grew to be very close, but lately our schedules have made it harder to spend much time together.

Aside from Shelby, I have only one other friend in the area and that’s Casey’s (now) wife - we’ll call her Samantha (28F). She’d only gone to one service and had an AWFUL experience in it, but other than that doesn’t actually know anyone there and has made a point to wave/be friendly when she sees them in public. She’s fairly new to the faith but has a heart of gold and hungry to know God more.

Because both of these friends of mine have very similar interests I’ve brought up doing something together sometime but Shelby hasn’t really seemed interested. I get it, but it does make it difficult because all of our schedules are so limited so instead of the 3 of us going thrifting or plant shopping for example, I’m trying to plan doing the exact same things each week or so but with both of them separately. They did meet once at my kids birthday party but didn’t really talk much.

Shelby texted me though that she’d seen Samantha in town and waved but that Samantha didn’t wave back, and basically called her rude. I suggested she probably didn’t see her or remember her or something along those lines because that’s not at all how Samantha would intentionally be, but was met with a brick wall about it and Shelby made it clear she has no interest in getting to know her at all.

I’m completely fine with them not becoming friends, but the way this was brought up and how Shelby spoke about Samantha really rubbed me the wrong way. Shelby’s also been spending time with those from the church a lot more than we’ve seen each other for the past couple months which is absolutely no problem, except I know that she’s rather impressionable and I especially know how manipulative the people there can be and how much they still (for SOME reason?) talk about Casey and even Samantha - who literally none of them have gotten to know AT ALL.

It all just feels very judgey and to be honest I cannot stand how people can say such horrible things about anyone they’ve practically never met - and especially when they are SO wrong about them.

I’m okay to just leave it be, but there’s also a part of me that wants to distance myself from Shelby more now because I feel she’s being heavily influenced by these other people’s (delusional) opinions. In my mind, I can’t understand why if someone doesn’t wave back you wouldn’t just make a second attempt like “hey, how are you?!” I feel like if they really are being straight up rude they’ll make it clear after that, but simply not waving back once is just wild to me to assume that they’re a mean person?

Am I reading into this too much? And would I be overreacting if I were to distance myself some based on how she judged and went off talking crap about my other friend?

reddit.com
u/LittlePetty2025 — 2 months ago