u/Momneedstosleep

We have a 4 year old and a 2 months old. We were all sitting together and then he left to go to the other room so I was with a crying baby and a hyper kid close to bedtime Alone for like 30-45 mins or maybe longer. I can usually handle it but it was getting too intense so I called for him a few times. He finally came out and asked me what do you want? As I was changing the screaming baby. I probably didn’t hear him/answer him the first time so he added “What do you need? Use your words.”

I told him it’s getting overwhelming so he told our kid to go play outside bec mom is tired.

I feel like 1- he has eyes and ears and deduction skills 2- use your words is something you tell a toddler not your partner 3- I already complained that in the last couple of month he has been giving me orders and talking to me without respect (no name calling, just condescending).

Also he phrased it “mom is tired” to my daughter as if I’m the problem when it has been a really long day. I feel like directing her to something outside or saying we need a minute here is better.

P.s. my daughter is very sensitive about me telling her to give me space as she was extremely attached to me and suddenly baby is demanding a lot of of attention. So it is always better these days when someone else calls her outside instead of me “rejecting her”

Anyway now I feel I want to text him or talk to him about it, but he’ll probably tell me I’m inventing problems and making a big deal.

Am I overreacting?

I got into perfumes a couple of years ago and I smelled Baccarat a few times and disliked it (just smelled like burned sugar to me)…

Then I had my second baby, and noticed my taste in perfume has changed during and after pregnancy.

So I tested it again..

lo and behold… it smells so good to my nose now. So this is what people who like it have been smelling all along?!

I really want it but its so expensive. Is dior lpoison close to it? Layered with blanche bete.

Edit meant hypnotic poison

Let me know your thoughts. Of course the same budget for a 2 bedroom in Egypt Ras Al Hekma will probably get a 1 bedroom in Dubai or perhaps a 2 bedroom but in a less upscale location. So which one to go with? Considering installments/mortgage will be used.

I just had a baby 2 weeks ago (2nd child) and I have been feeling very alone and without help. He spends a lot of time in his room gaming or sleeping, because since my mom is here he is conserving energy for later (according to him). He helps when I ask him to, but I really wish he’d help without me having to text him to come out of the room to do a certain task. The day after giving birth (which was traumatic), i went home and he let his extended family visit even though we agreed on no visitors. They didn’t stay long and it was only 2 people, but he had promised me before he won’t let people come.

Anyway it is not just tge last 2 weeks. When I cried the next day about feeling overwhelmed, he got defensive instead and treated me coldly for days afterwards. It has been a rough year with our life being uprooted. I have been feeling very alone for very long. So much so I think chatgpt was the only place I could vent. And I tried to explain this many times but he is depressed and feeling down, and there was no place for my feelings anymore. Even when i expressed them he considered it an attack on him and got defensive. So that’s that…

I just told him I want separation and explained the above. He basically said he doesn’t want separation, but no use trying to put in effort because I won’t appreciate it anyway and that maybe if we seperate I’ll feel the hole and realize how good it was and so on… or perhaps have my feelings confirmed.

And i wasn’t saying as a bargaining chip or an ultimatum, but the response kind of upset me. Because that’s basically all he said, there was still no “i’m sorry you feel this way” or any acknowledgment of my feelings. It was once again, me who doesn’t appreciate what he does rather than admit that he could’ve done some things better.

I’m kind of sad and it feels like it reaffirms how I have felt. And I’m worried about the future and how things will turn out for the kids and I.

I’ve been asking my husband to push the bed of the side so there is room for the bassinet next to my side. He kept suggesting that what I want is impossible bec there is an outlet on the other side (i kept saying just pull the bed-forward a bit). Anyway today I’m scheduled for an induction, and for reference I’m 157 cm (5 foot 1) with back problems… but I got fed up so I conjured my inner pregnancy rage and pulled/pushed a king sized solid wood bed with storage under all on my own. Turns out, yes it was always possible to position the bed the way I wanted.

Dear husbands, please don’t withhold your physical strength and trust your wives.

Like I’m a teddy bear. I wear basic Ts and basic pants almost exclusively. I carry a diaper bag for my kids and if I really want to spoil myself I opt for something practical like a longchamp le pilage backpack. My face cream is my make up… and on the days I want to feel fancy I put on cream blush and dab it on the lips too.

Meanwhile I buy Initio side effect because I’d also like to be someone who has neck tattoos and wears leather jackets. Or dark cherry perfumes because I’d like to wear red lipstick and not wear my hair in a bun all the time. Warranted, I do author dark novels as a hobby so my mind is a bit out-there, but my reality and my perfumes purchases are always at a mismatch 😂.

Egypt is widely recognized as the driest country in the world. Growing up I never had an umbrella (maybe 1 umbrella for the whole family that someone bought abroad). I have terrible “rain sense?” I don’t know how to spot the signs (when it rains in Egypt, it usually takes hours of grey clouds before a little bit if rain comes down) so rain coming suddenly is usually shocking. When I travel, I notice that people in Europe and Asia tend to notice signs a lot earlier than I do. The first time I used an umbrella, I felt I was going to take someone’s eye out. It also flipped inside out a few times (because of misuse I guess) and it ended up completely ruined in less than 2-3 days.

It always feels like there is too much sun in Egypt- not enough shade. The world is almost overexposed especially mid day. It is also extremely dusty and we get dust/sand storms a lot more than rain so we know how to deal better with them. It honestly feels closer to the environment of arrakis (thank God for the Nile!)

The infrastructure is also not built for rain so sometimes when it RAINS rains (maybe once or twice a year), the streets flood andthe whole day is disrupted because if traffic jams.

Edited to add: it is still so surprising/fascinating when it rains that family will text you when it rains in their area and you will spend sometime watching the rain out if the window.

I have a modest perfume collection (maybe 30-40 perfumes 30ml and above, and 30 more travel size) and my 3 year old LOVES Miss Dior bottles.

“Wow, so pretty!”

And she has felt the same way since she was 2. She loves holding it. So much so, she actually dropped and chipped one of my 2 Miss Dior bottles 😂. I rarely wear them actually but I do like how they look.

Personally I love Merchant of Venice bottles and Memo bottles and packaging the most.

A lot of the time when men kill women, a lot of people side with the man. Some comments even go as far as basically saying it this is how it should be done and promoting violence and hailing the killer as a hero. I tried reporting before but nothing happens. Could the language of the comment be a factor? Also it is usually dozens and dozens of comments on a post (if not hundreds) and I usually just report the worst one… and I think other people don’t really report them because they are not aware of how to do it.

I was blessed enough to live in a social circle where less men are Batsh*t crazy (only a bit) and there is a sliver of equality between the sexes. But a large chunk of the country’s men- ones you deal with daily- are a different story.

Domestic violence is very high. Also murders towards women. And fine, there is violence and crime everywhere… but you know what’s rare? When make the killers into heroes and blame the victim EVERY-TIME. One example:

A JUDGE murdered his ex wife and the case just went viral. Stalked and shot her in cold blood. He said stuff that doesn’t make sense as his excuse: that she “married” men on paper while she was married to him, took his money but still perused him through courts for child support, made complaints to the judge association, and finally because he felt he didn’t want his daughter living with the new husband (who he said was dangerous and into gambling)

And he declared that even if he received the death penalty, at least he will die with the honor of a man.

And SOOOO MANY people are taking his side and praying for him. They are saying he did the right thing.

Her friend - posts that is not going viral and you need to dig to find- explained that actually he was abusive. He wouldn’t divorce her so she - years ago- had to go through the court to divorce him in a process where she basically gives up all her financial rights in-exchange for divorce. He just doesn’t acknowledge the court order it so he considers she was still married to him. He threatened to murder her multiple times, and even threatened the kids. She was complaining to the judge association about these violations. And he wasn’t even supporting the kids, the new husband was.

And even if she was a terrible person, should we really endorse murder?!

And this is not the first case. Every week there is a new one. A man waving a knife at his wife - on camera- and threatening to kill her infront of their toddler (who was in the room), and people just say “oh she must’ve provoked him”. A man stabbing a girl caught on a public cam because she rejected him, “oh she must’ve led him on”. It seems that everything that annoys the male ego is a crime worthy of death…

I just moved back to my home country a few months back. My country has a +70% (82% in some places) birth by cesarean rate especially in private hospitals (and private is really the only option here). Doctors prefer it because it costs more (birth here is usually out of pocket in private places), and it is easier to schedule and do multiple births per day etc.

When I traveled back I started half way through my pregnancy with a doctor. She hinted that have low placenta when i was 20 weeks and when I asked what that means, she explained that it might mean birth complications and I would need cesarean, but it is still early. I didn’t feel comfortable so I went to a fetal medicine doctor after and a new doctor, and after both ultrasounds I was told that my placenta was normal. My new doctor seems pro natural birth (my first child was natural but abroad), but I am still anxious… it seems everyone around me gave birth by cesarean, some deciding on the day of.

Now I’m almost near my due date. Hospitals are telling me if I want one of the nice rooms I probably need advance booking… and I’m like how can I advance book I don’t know when I’ll go into labor exactly? and then it occurred to me that they are just used to cesarean.

And I am worried doctors will start giving me excuses to convince me to do it… and I have no medical background. I’m a bit worried about not being able to advocate for myself esp because I have an anxiety disorder.

There are no midwives where I live and nursing can be touch and go. (I still remember 15 years ago I had surgery and asked for pain killers, and the nurse told me I was being spoiled— and later i found out she forgot to give me the pain killers I was prescribed).

My kid is picky. Not capital P picky, but all caps PICKY. She just doesn’t get hungry, and will only eat crunchy beige food. I tried every trick under the sun, and even some tips from older generations because I was so desperate. Nothing works.

And I get so much side eye and comments from family and friends, esp that I come from a culture where people don’t really hold back their opinion. And I’m fine with advice *when* I ask for it, but it is usually volunteered and unwanted. People keep suggesting to me tips and when I say I tried them they usually imply that I must’ve done it wrong. But sorry, your kid not liking chicken is not the same as my kid only have 3-4 safe foods.

I was living abroad for a while and my mom and MIL would comment so much on it, but when I moved back they both tried their “tricks” and “methods”, and guess what… my kid is still picky.

I remember someone trying to use a safe food to hide new food to trick my child, and calling me overreacting when I was upset they did that… but that almost risked my child avoiding that safe food as well. Sorry, I’m not going to make weirda** nuggets because nuggets are the only protein source right now so I’m not risking it.

I still feel guilty about. I still feel I must’ve done something wrong along the way…

But the truth is, people don’t understand how hard a struggle is unless they live it…

I’m Egyptian but I’ve lived in Dubai for about 5-6 years. After having my daughter I got into perfume and started a collection… but due to work circumstance, my family had to move back.

First I lost a couple of perfumes during the move. And now the market here has very limited niche selection, no grey market discounters (except Sus fb groups and websites), and lots of fakes. And because of high tariffs, perfumes sell for twice as much their retail price in Dubai.

It’s really sad I can’t buy anything anymore (except if I have friends traveling and can buy them for me). I also don’t have the luxury of going to bloomingdales or sephora and just sniffing around. It’s a bit sad.

Life here is not bad overall, but I am mourning losing my hobby to circumstance.