r/Parenting

My baby was born 4 weeks ago and I exclusively breastfeed him. Everyone keeps telling me how everything I eat affects his stomach (not enough vitamins, too much soda, fast food). My baby eats every 30–40 mins. I feed on demand because he eats for max. 5 min and falls asleep, so I convinced myself he’s just hungry. We had no prior problems at all, but the last 3 days he started crying inconsolably, and I blame myself for it. My husband thinks he is colicky. It’s always the same hours, late at night. It appears with heavy kicking around, screaming, and turning red. I am thinking maybe it’s his stomach because I feed him non-stop and he doesn’t have time to process the food? I gave him drops to prevent gas build-up in his stomach, but they just made him constipated. Does anyone please have any advice at all?

We were sick and tired of the bathroom floor being soaked in water after every shower the kids took. So I placed their towels and pajamas on the floor next to the shower and told them thats the towel theyd be using to dry with and clothes to change into. It was up to them to ensure they were dry for use.

Literally fixed the issue immediately and has never occurred since.

I have two children, 10 and 8, who are both very intelligent and have always been verbal. However, the youngest has become so loud in the house, in the car, and out in public that it has become a regular cause for correction between my spouse and me.

This is not just the happy sounds of playing, it is inappropriately high volume yell-talking, slamming doors and pounding up and down stairs or running throughout the house at all times. We have tried our best to politely but firmly say that if they want to run around they can do it in the playroom in the basement and that they cannot just scream to make themselves heard.

It will get better for a moment and then just return to how it was. In addition to it being generally poor etiquette in most public settings, it is fraying our nerves as parents. We have the added complication of one (very) senior dog that somehow hears practically nothing anymore BUT can always hear the pounding of 8yo feet and gets anxious, paces the room, and cannot settle down as a result.

What can we do to address this behavior without crushing their spirit? Other parents are beginning to notice that the 8yo will loudly interrupt adult conversations or shout down other children. It has not yet been raised as a concern by their teachers but I am concerned that is coming soon with the return to school.

Help!

Genuinely feeling like I cannot win with my 12yr old son’s attitude and constant state of annoyance.

He speaks in 1-3 words only.
“Yes” “no” “it was good” “bro”

Devices have been grounded from Sunday night to Saturday morning for several reasons including bad grades and lack of participation in school

Today, my husband wanted to play a board game. 5 minutes in and my son was actually making angry faces and contorting his body because he was annoyed about having to play a word board game with his parents.
Dinner time comes around, he’s done eating and gets up as if we don’t exist. Does not say a damn word unless he’s spoken to.

The rest of the day goes this way until it’s time for bed and he says he wants to hang out with us —which really means he wants to watch our devices with us since his are now locked away until Saturday. I said “you had the whole day, now isn’t the time to hang out. “
He storms off to his room.

I’m truly so tired of all 3 of us going to bed angry after spending the day walking on eggshells around each other

Every single time we sit down for dinner all of a sudden its always “why do i have to eat this” “why are we eating this” “i dont like this” “i dont wanna eat” “its yucky” and its a BATTLE to get him to eat every night and its made dinner time very unenjoyable when it used to be such a fun bonding time for us. he wont complain about his favorite meals but 7/10 times its whining about the food and having to eat. he’ll take a couple bites and be done. i make him try it even if he says he doesn’t like it but i don’t wanna force him to eat all of it if he really hates it. usually he’ll only eat his rice but no meat no veggie. He didn’t have a problem with this before and liked eating but now its a fight every night 💔 anyone else having an issue like this? I don’t even know what to do i guess its just another phase i have to get through with him 😔

Hi everyone, really hoping for some practical advice here.

We’re expecting our baby soon. My mother feels like normal boundaries just don’t apply to her, she favors boys and we are having a son. She keeps saying “im grandma and he’s my boy” when we try to explain why we are doing things a certain way. When we say "this is what works for us," we get guilt trips, "I’m the grandma, I know best, you turned out just fine," and hurt feelings. It’s stressful enough that I’m already planning to send clear, gentle boundary guidelines to everyone in the next couple of weeks to set expectations upfront. My mom is planning to visit when baby is just 10 days old, so I want to be clear on what we need before anyone arrives. (Just to note my mother didn’t raise me, my grandparents did that’s why I turned out fine)

On top of that, we have a court-ordered trip this December: traveling EU → UK so my eldest can visit her dad. It’s 800km one-way by car, and our newborn will be only 4 weeks old. I reached out to my eldest’s dad and asked if we could postpone until February — he said no. Due to the wording of the court order I have to do handover or my husband which means we have to go, we did ask my ex for a one time consideration - he said no. (We are doing the journey over 3 days one way to ensure we stop enough)

Baby will have their RSV vaccine before travel, and I’ve had all recommended vaccines during pregnancy. We’re doing everything we can to keep baby safe.

Edit as I missed something’s that have caused confusion:

Just a couple of things:
I appreciate the support and advice however,

I have to travel in December this is a non-negotiable I’ve appealed to my daughter’s dad, the courts and even had health care professionals back my request up which has been declined at every request. I can’t be away from my daughter for longer than a day or two without it effecting her health. I am also not leaving my newborn. I am between a rock and hard place. If I could stay at home and both my kids be happy and healthy I would 100%.

I could appeal again but by the time it goes back to court I would be in breach if I don’t take her to the UK

I will be staying with my daughter in the UK at my grandparents home. She doesn’t sleep at her dads often (once a year maybe) and has autism and adhd. It’s also her first visit since the move, the next visit is next August so things will be a lot easier

Has anyone else navigated:

• Sending written newborn boundaries before anyone visits — what did you say that actually worked? What boundaries did you put in place and how did you make sure they were followed?

• Standing firm on boundaries without it turning into constant arguments or guilt

I’m just feeling really stressed and want to be prepared. Thank you so much in advance.

For those with high schoolers, and maybe middle school-age kids too, what are they taking for lunches? Mine aren’t particularly interested in sandwiches but they’ll take them on occasion. Ideally things we can prep on the weekend and they can take throughout the week. They have microwaves but there is a long line to use them so they prefer to not have to heat anything up.

So far some favorites have been a Mediterranean quinoa salad, an Italian pasta salad, cucumber salad with wonton dumplings, and a sweet potato burger bowl/salad.

We have a 3-year-3-month-old and an 8½-month-old, and both my husband and I work. We don’t have family nearby, and I’m finding the everyday workload pretty overwhelming.
Our oldest goes to daycare five days a week. That already feels like more than I’d ideally want, but we can’t currently make it work another way. For now, we’re alternating annual leave to care for our youngest and keep childcare costs down. Next month he’ll start daycare three days a week, with my husband using leave to cover the other two.

It feels like we’re constantly behind on everything: cooking, dishes, laundry, cleaning, tidying and all the little jobs around the house. We live across two floors, and there always seems to be something that needs doing somewhere. Dinner time is particularly chaotic, and by the time we can tackle chores, we’re exhausted. Even small tasks take ages to finish.
I’m not aiming for a spotless house, but I’d love for things to feel a bit less stressful and unfinished all the time.

What practical changes made the biggest difference for you at this stage? Meal shortcuts, routines, ways to divide tasks, things you stopped doing, or anything worth paying for if the budget allows?

My girl is 14 months old, we are currently using size 6 pampers… we can’t use Huggies because it always causes her to rash. What’s the next size after pampers s6? Online told me they have a size 7 but I never see them in stores.

I know I’m very lucky to have my parents who are retired and able to care for my 12 month old and 3 year old all the time!

My issue is they genuinely cannot respect my parenting decisions regarding food and screen time.

Apart from a visit to the park, my kids are sat in front of the TV and pumped full of sugary treats and fast food. I’m talking constant offers of juice, ice creams, oreos, lollies etc while watching absolute garbage like baby lia cha cha or these little russian children that act ridiculous and play with giant toys. They live in an apartment so I understand it can be difficult to keep them entertained.

They love being grandparents and love my kids so much, but I’m really struggling with our differences.

I’ve tried talking to them about it, but my mum in particular gets extremely defensive. She has always been difficult in this way. The slightest bit of criticism will send her off the edge. She will guilt trip and go to extremes.

I’ve gone as far as ordering and delivering groceries and making healthy lunches and snacks. They feed them the lunches but the snacks collect dust and juice somehow always ends up in their water bottles.

Am I crazy for thinking my kids are better off in daycare twice a week instead of my parents while I work?

My child is two and she's a sharer whatever I give herr nd there's a child nearby she will share with that child, i have also started carrying extra snacks with me, but now I'm starting to notice other kids her age don't share with her their stuff despite her having shared with them. Some even go to an extent of not giving back her snacks when she has given them to share, today it happened we were at the park and a child her age came and I gave them both lollipops after a while my daughter wanted juice so I gave it to her, she drank and passed it on to the child she was playing with. After taking a sip this child refused to give my daughter's juice back to her, i ended up taking the bottle and giving the both of them sips. How do I handle such situations moving forward

Hi parents!

I have an amazing creative, artistic, 5 year old. She loves to build and create more than play with toys in the traditional sense. The problem is she loves to make grand plans and then gets reallyupset when they don’t work out in reality. In the past day she has tried to:

-Build a real treehouse
-Sew a real dress for school
-Crochet a real scarf
-Have a camp out in the yard

Trying to redirect onto pretends always ends in “No, I want to do/ make a real one!!!” I always try to teach skills like sewing or crochet when asked but she is still a little young to be able to grasp it/ have the persistence to learn the basics.

For those of you with kids like this, any tips for not feeling like dream crushers a million times a day? 😂 Or is this just a phase that she needs to go to in order to learn persistence and realistic goals?

We’re taking a longer flight with our kid soon and I’m making a checklist.So far I have snacks, tablet, coloring books, extra clothes… but I’m wondering what things parents consider essential for keeping kids comfortable during flights?

My daughter (8yo) just got her first bouquet of roses and my heart just melted.

A boy she knows her whole life, first daycare then after school care and classmates, asked if she would like to go to the local fair today (accompanied by his father). My daughter is a bit of a tomboy and they always have been buddies. Playing together in the mud, building huts etc. She has had little age appropriate crushes on classmates before but this boy was never mentioned as anything other than a cool friend.

So when he and his father came to pick her up and he was holding a little bouquet of roses, it was a suprise. It was very sweet because he was so nervous.

Luckily she made him a bracelet so they could exchange. It cut the tension immediately and they left very excited to go on all the rides.

I don't think she fully realized what was going on and that made it even cuter.

My son who is in 3rd grade - was told twice, two different occasions from another student in his class that “you don’t deserve to live”. I was really shocked when he first told me about it and said no one should EVER say those words to you.
We’ve emailed both his teacher and principal and got a mediocre wordy email that said it was “documented” and how they deemed it “not malicious “ ok but HOW did they come to that conclusion is what my next question is…. I feel like they are not taking this seriously at all.
I’ve been upset about this all weekend and I don’t know what to do……..any advice would be appreciated 🙏🏻

Okay so I don't use Reddit very often (or at all haha) but I am so at a loss that I just don't know what to do. If there's some secret etiquette for posting that's not in the rules I apologize!

I (38F) have a 14 year old who I will call B. I am having a lot of trouble getting them to do really anything I say. I've talked to parents I know, my parents, a therapist, and read possibly every book ever written about this. I really just need some advice on what to do.

B is extremely disrespectful, and I cannot get them to listen to me about anything. At school they refuse to listen to teachers, they yell at me, they destroy things.

One example is B was extremely rude to a teacher at their school. They refused to do any work, and disrupted class. I was called to pick them up. I tried talking to them about what happened, but they refused to speak. Because of this refusal to engage with me I had to go off what I knew. I took their phone, and told them they needed to write an apology letter to the teacher, and that they wouldn't be allowed to hang out with friends for a month.

The problem is they literally don't care. If I take their phone, they read. If I take books (which I don't like doing but really what am I supposed to do!) they will sleep. If I tell them they have to do things outside their room they will just sit there and stare at a wall. No punishment is effective. I've tried taking them to therapy with and without me there. When I'm there they don't say anything. When I'm not they tell me they also didn't say anything.

They tell me all the time that they don't care what I do and I'm not in control of them. Nothing works. Especially once the first punishment happens they will say they have nothing left to lose so they don't care about being better.

I'm really worried about this, not only because it's difficult but because clearly something is happening that I don't know about. I'm worried that this behavior is indicative of something bad happening with or to B. But I've tried bringing them to therapy and they just don't care.

I've brought them to doctors but they won't speak.

Sorry this is rambly and if it doesn't make much sense. But really if anyone has any advice for how to help B I would really do anything. It's not that I allow this behavior I don't think. I really do punish them, or try to talk to them about what's wrong, but they just don't care.

I can provide more context if needed.

I'm just so tired and don't know what to do at this point.

My son’s close friend died last week. Today was the funeral. It was obviously and completely indescribably sad. But it was also beautiful - the whole community showed up. And when the time for spoken remembrances came, all of these wonderfully dorky teenagers suddenly found themselves speaking in moving, clear, and loving voices about the friend they’d lost. I was so proud of each one of them (including my son) even as I - along with everyone around me - was weeping. I guess on some level one wonders how somebody so loved could have felt so alone. But that’s a question that can’t be answered, except, perhaps, with more love.

Tough day. Tough feeling. Light shining through.

My 4 year old is an intelligent, funny, and creative child. But she never stops talking and refuses to play independently. She has always been like this despite our best efforts to encourage independent play even for a few minutes at a time. She has a new baby sister which doesn’t help, but this issue predates the baby by a long time.

She goes to a Montessori preschool and they have observed the same thing. While she is independent in wanting to do everything herself like open things, complete a puzzle, put away her outdoor shoes and jacket, etc., she never wants to be alone. She always chooses the partner “work activities” in school. She asks the teachers to watch her do the activity if she’s solo. She does the same thing at home. From when she is home until bedtime, she talks nonstop and doesn’t allow my husband and I to speak to each other. She immediately interrupts every conversation to bring it back to her. When we tell her to wait or that she can hold our hands while she waits, she says no and launches into her next ramble.

We have tried magnatiles, tons of games, audiobooks, and even TV. She doesn’t want to be alone. I tell her she can watch TV if she sits on the couch herself while I unload the dishwasher. She will agree. 2 mins later, she comes in and asks me to watch with her. I say no. She asks why, and I say I have to clean up the kitchen. She says can you do it after? No, I can’t, we ate lunch and need to clean up. I offer for her to clean up with me instead of TV. She will say “okay let’s clean up together then we can both watch TV.”

I will even offer that she can color in the kitchen near me while I cook. She asks questions and interrupts constantly to ask me to draw with her. I say that I’m watching her drawings but I am doing something else right now. She pushes back every single time. She will say just stop doing that and color with me. I say no gently, I explain what I’m doing, and she just keeps asking over and over again until I snap at her and then she cries.

I am emotionally drained. My nervous system is wrecked. I am exhausted from constantly telling her no or just needing her to be independent for 10 mins so I can do anything else in the house in peace. After she goes to bed, I legitimately need an hour of silence. I feel bad for our baby who always comes second to her big sister because she is so demanding.

What can do we to encourage some independent play?

I have an almost 12 yo. When he is home, he gets to watch a little tv, and has limits to playing on his switch. He doesn’t have a phone, but he uses our house phone to listen to music. He plays with Legos or will read in his room. If the weather cooperates we get him outside to ride bikes or something.

But when we’ve exercised all those options…we hit the inevitable “I’m bored” wall. I will suggest some activities, including chores (I try!), to see if he’ll bite. Sometimes me or my spouse are able to do something with him but not always. So it got me thinking - what do kids this age do?? My younger kids still have a ton of toys to play with do they seem to entertain themselves. But now that I have a young tween, I’m finding that there is a lack of options. What do your tweens do?

Hello! The title says most of it. My 3.5-year-old daughter has recently (as in, 2-ish days ago) started repeating the final sounds of the last words in her sentences. She does it especially with "t" and "s" sounds ("cat...t" or "bubbles...s").

I've been trying super hard to correct what I see as an unwelcome habit in the making, but I just heard from another mom that her daughter did the same thing before Pre-K trained her out of it, so maybe it's more normal than I think. On the other hand, if I need to be correcting her regardless of how normal it is, I'd like to know that, too.

Thank you!

P.S. I saw in my Google search that essentially the same post does exist on this forum, but it's for a younger child and the post is from 2017, so I thought I'd check for any updates. Thanks again!