r/Parenting

My 11 year-old has been going to day camp at the YMCA for a few years now. The camp is the same length as a school day and generally involve swimming, outdoor activities, lunch, and some chill time inside. My husband and I both work full-time and absolutely depend on this camp for childcare during the summer.

My daughter has just announced she doesn’t want to go. She says she doesn’t like the other kids who go, the camp is too chaotic and loud, and it’s always really hot outside. She also said that kids tend to spend a lot of time on their smart phones and she only has a flip phone so she feels excluded.

She is definitely a more nerdy, intellectual type of person who would much rather be involved in an academic discussion about anime than run around engaging in a water balloon fight with screaming kids. I’m the same way so I get it. I wish we could send her to a fancy camp at one of the college campuses in town, but we quite simply can’t afford it. So YMCA day camp it is.

My husband thinks we should just allow her to stay home because there’s no point in spending money just for her to be miserable all day, but I think she’s too young to stay home and she should have brought this up earlier if there was an issue. My compromise is that she has to go this year, but as a family, we commit to exploring other options next year and applying for scholarships if needed.

I think there may be some social anxiety at play, but I don’t want to reward that behavior by allowing her to skip camp because it just communicates that avoidance is the solution (which will make her anxiety worse).

What should we do?

My daughter is 22 , living at home and really having a difficult time figuring out life. She worked a few retail jobs but quit them because of "drama", so she says . I sat down with her to have an open hearted talk. I asked her what it is that you want to do and to my shock she said she wants to work on cars. Shes NEVER turned a wrench before and I don't think she could point out an engine in a car if I asked her to, but regardless we talked about community college for automotive and getting into a shop doing tires and oil changes in the meantime. She told me she's applied to several oil change places but never heard back.

We live in a city and there's oil change places on every street .., there's even 2 within 10min with signs on the marquee hiring. I'm thinking about stopping and chatting with the supervisor about getting my daughter a job .... My daughter is very introverted and has a hard time in pressure situations. Idk if I'd be helping or hurting by trying to get her a job.

Do you think this is something she needs to do and face on her own ? Or would it be a good idea to help get the ball rolling to try and talk to the supervisor about hiring my daughter?

Thanks

I (31F) have 2 under 2. My parents came to Canada in the late 80s. They obviously didn’t know a lick of English. My mom had 3 kids under 4 at some point. We all learned English through the TV??? Not from school or I doubt anything was offered from programs back in the day. I’m a 94 baby.

I know so many people with immigrant parents who still don’t know a lick of English. I understand the screen time advisory is for a reason. I agree with it.

It’s just funny that there are a lot of kids who learned how to talk because of screen time. I loooooved Barney as a kid. I watched some episodes with my toddler and I think it’s a great show for kids. I actually find miss rachel extremely overwhelming to watch. A lot of shows from back then you had to closely follow a plot line. You also actively learned some type of lesson from each episode. They were mostly social skills, manners or something useful for a kid to know.

It goes to show kids are so much more smarter than we think. You don’t even have your own adult parents helping you learn. My mom is one of the odd ones out who speaks fluent English, but I know so many people’s parents who don’t speak but understand English. Just like how I understand my cultural language, but can’t really speak it.

So why didn’t the screen time affect us? (Or maybe it did 🧐).

I’m 100% against tablets though.

I've been bringing my son outside a bit more because of the nice weather and attempting some garden work. He's usually in his activity table or I'm holding him but my neighbor has been coming out to catch me with my hands full and talking my ear off. She always talks to the baby and I just know she's gonna ask to hold him so I wanna be ready to say no. What are some of your go to lines to acquaintances and strangers?

Pretty self-explanatory, my toddler hates wearing anything on his head. He will rip a hat off the second something touches his head, we have a few beach vacations booked this summer and I'd really like to get him to where hats for sun protection. He has light blue eyes and p much translucent skin.

I will definitely lather him up with sunscreen but I'm worried about his eyes and top of his head/ears.

Does anyone have any tips to acclimate him to wearing something on his head? Any experience with this? Is it a losing battle?

What the title says, we are conflicted on when to have our next child and I know things don’t always go as planned but I’m curious what others have enjoyed or thought was difficult

I have a 4.5 year old.

I am curious: what time do other 4 and 5 year olds wake up?

And if your kid is able to sleep in, how did you get to that point? Adjusting bedtime earlier or later results in same wake up time for us and would love to have our kid sleep til 7 or later!

My son is 19 months old, and his favourite colour is pink. He will actively seek out pink things (picking a pink instrument in music classes, choosing a pink cup at a restaurant, etc.), and he steals his sister’s clothes and her pink tricycle rather than his yellow one. I told my dad, and he thinks he’s too young to have a favourite. Personally, I think my dad is just upset that a boy likes pink. When did you notice your children favouring a certain colour?

I am a 45-year-old mother with two sons, aged 19 and 15. They are good-hearted boys and generally doing reasonably well academically, though my younger son could put in more effort.
My main struggle is that they do very little household work, have poor hygiene and organizational habits, and spend a lot of time on their phones. I feel like I am constantly managing everything at home and repeatedly reminding them to complete even basic tasks. It has become emotionally and physically exhausting for me.
I would like guidance on:
Setting healthy boundaries at home
Creating clear expectations and responsibilities
Enforcing rules consistently without constant conflict
Reducing excessive phone use
Helping them become more responsible and independent
I want to improve the home environment while still maintaining a loving relationship with them.

We had a playdate last week and the kid brought his iPad over. They are in 1st grade so my son sat a read a book to him while he played a one person game on his iPad. My son didn't seem to care but I was a little surprised. I feel like the kids we have over don't really know how to play. The main reason I have kids over is for them to learn social skills and get them off the screens. This wasn't a huge deal, just a little disappointing. I guess I'm assuming this is normal now? How do you get your kids outside more?

Our 6 year old daughter over the past few months has developed some sort of sensory issue, and it has only gotten worse. It started with hating how socks feel, and has now developed to hating how underwear feel, then the shorts she wears over the underwear, and now bathing suits.

The problem, in addition to the sensory issue in general, is that it results in a massive meltdown. Crying, freaking out, taking the clothes off. Every day it takes at minimum 30 minutes to get her appropriately dressed for school. It has resulted in our sweet laughing kid basically crying and quiet on the car ride to school every morning these last few days especially. It is just so hard.

She has no other problems with anything sensory related. She is just a regular kid otherwise. She loves school, has friends, loves learning and playing. It is developing to now where she doesn't want to do things if she has to get dressed, even if it is her favorite thing to do. On the weekend we just let her wear a dress with no underwear or shorts, and shoes that don't need socks, but if she has to get dressed it still results in a meltdown, which makes me feel like it isn't school related specifically.

Once she just kind of accepts it, then it is fine, no issues during the whole day, a lot of time she will come home and take off her underwear, but somedays she gets right to playing and leaves them on. Sometimes it isn't an issue, mainly where she doesn't really think about it.

It's definitely gotten to the point the last 2 weeks where she is anticipating it, so it 100% is an issue. When this all started it was a sometimes it is an issue, sometimes it is not. Now it is a problem every time. The last 2 weeks have been rough mornings especially.

We have purchased some sensory underwear and seamless socks, but they haven't arrived yet. Does anyone have any suggestions? She is literally fine otherwise, as long as she doesn't wear socks or underwear, no urinary issues, pooping fine, nothing at all.

Can anyone provide some help?

Our oldest (13) suffers from some pretty severe anxiety. We recently had to move countries (back to the US) and she is having a bumpy time of it.

Part of the problem is that she's having a hard time getting to sleep. Once or twice a week, she's up all hours of the night.

There's no access to devices after 9.

I try to get her to be as physically active as possible. Yesterday she was in the pool with her sister for 1.5h, and it still wasn't enough.

We are trying to get her to a psychologist, but it's a slow process.

Has anyone dealt with something like this? What worked for you?

School is out in 2 days. She is worried that he wont get this support when he goes to first grade. Now I am trying to brain storm how I can help the situation over the summer.

We have 3 kids aged 9-13.

At what ages did you start leaving kids at home for date nights ( daytime has been happening and isnt am issue) I definitely dont think mine are ready emotionally for us to be gone 6p-10p. But Im getting A LOT of people telling me that they're old enough. So at what age would your kids be okay? If you have multiple- the youngest kids age and the oldest kids age.

I was kinda thinking of having them be home for an hour or two then having a sitter come to support for bedtime?

Edit to add - emotionally ready = anxiety and fear. The times we leave them alone during the day for more than 2 hours they start blowing up our phones wondering where we are.

And in MY anxiety brain I go - what if my partner and I get into a car accident and die/seriously injured, then we've left them alone for way too long, then hello extra trauma

My husband's family all lives in different cities. Every other year, they go on a family vacation. There is one coming up in August, and is a full 7 days. There are 6 young kids including my own two kids (5 and 2).

We picked a place in the middle of nowhere as it had lots of amenities including a pond, boat, outdoor kitchen etc. And with that many young kids it's hard to go places so makes sense to stay on the premises.

However, I've learned this about myself (in doing similar trips with both mine and his family) I cannot just "hang out" watching my kids all day. I like and get along with his whole family, but without any structure or plan to my day, I just go nuts.

I'm already planning on exercising every morning, as I know that helps. We will probably do some family game tournaments. I was thinking maybe learning to start a fire from scratch (my 5yo would love this). Does any one have any other suggestions, for both solo and group activities? Or even just goals to achieve throughout the week?

Hi all! I'm sorry if this doesnt belong here but I wondered if other parents could bring some insight. The situation is, my son(5) and my friends daughter(2) were having a play date. I told my son he needed to only bring toys he was willing to share with the daughter. My partner then stated he should be able to bring any toys he wishes, and the little girl would just have to deal with not playing with it. He says it's just like if you bring a hair brush to vacation, you dont want everyone using it. I find a large difference in a hairbrush to a toy. I told him it is much easier to simply say "bring toys youre ok with X playing with".

So main question, do you think special toys should stay at home or should they be able to bring special toys with and say the other kid isnt allowed to play with them? I just need to know if I'm wrong in thinking that you should only bring toys the other kids can play with. TIA

Comme le titre l'indique je suis ou plutôt j'ai été très. Fusionnelle avec ma fille elle est âgée de vingt-sept ans, nos soucis de santé respectifs ont fait que nous nous sommes encore plus soutenues.

Elle va prendre pour son propre appartement. Elle a un copain mais elle ne veut pas vivre avec. Elle veut prendre son indépendance.

Je me retrouve seule, toute seule avec mon petit chien âgé de quatorze ans, j'ai mal j'ai tellement mal.

Elle va partir avec son petit chien que je connais depuis toujours qui est âgé de douze ans et son petit chat de cinq ans.

Je suis brisée.

Je me trouve dans une grande solitude une détresse.

Je suis une ancienne femme battue ma fille a toujours été là. Nous étions chacune le pilier, l'une de l'autre même si c'est mon rôle premier bien sûr.

Je n'ai aucune famille. Je n'ai aucun ami, je suis seul.

Elle est heureuse. Je pourrais être heureuse pour elle, mais je pourrais si mal.

Je ne voudrais pas être égoïste mais je n'arrive pas.

Je ne sais pas comment faire. je me suis dit, pourquoi je ne chercherai pas des correspondances amicales internationales pour pallier au vide. Et je n'arrive pas.

C'est égoïste, mais je souffre tellement.

So 10 yr old has a interschool sporting event tomorrow that he hasn't been to before. So he is anxious about the unknown.

I've been trying to hype it up to get him excited and our 12 yr old and other teens have also been telling him how fun it is.

I was having one final chat to him about it before he went to bed and he kept saying he didn't want to go.

Then partner pipes up and tells him he is going and he needs to stop being stupid and to grow up and that he isn't staying home and just on and on in a angry sort of voice. I did try and tell him that mr is jaut anxious about the unknown. But partner just tells him to stop being silly.

So 10 yr old gets upset and storms off to bed saying he hates this house and partner says go live somewhere else then.

So now I know I'm going to have the struggle of gearing mr 10 even out of bed tomorrow and to school while trying to get myself to work and 12 yr old to school.

Yes I get partner must never of had to deal with anxiety over the unknown but I wish he would just try and understand and help make things better instead of worse.

So anyone got any tips for getting a stubborn 10 yr old off his top bunk and fed, dressed and to school?

Mom to a 12 almost 13 year old daughter who is really struggling with maintaining solid friendships in middle school. Any advice navigating this is appreciated. Any other parents dealing with this?

To simplify: since elementary school my daughter has primarily ran in the same friend group where the majority of her friends are more so acquaintances, with maybe one solid friend here and there. The last couple of years though, this friend group has become very mean girlish and if my daughter falls out with one girl the whole group starts to ostracize her. I’ve prayed for her to make at least one solid friend she can lean on and do stuff with outside of school but that is becoming more unrealistic. She communicates to me that she’s often alone in group activities at school and has sat alone at lunch multiple times. I encourage her to make new friends and she complains that it’s hard because everyone already has their “group”. I can tell she is hurting and lonely but she shuts down when we try to think of solutions. Hate to see my baby struggling because by her age I did have a solid group of friends in and outside of school. Shes in sports and other activities but again no solid friendships and that worries me.

How can I help her?

I'm wondering whether we should get a wagon or double stroller and what kind. Ideally I would still like to have a place to store a large bag. My daughter is fine walking around these days but the stroller still comes in handy when we have a lot of walking to do. What do y'all recommend? TIA