u/ContestNo31

I let my daughter (7) mostly pick out and wear whatever she wants. Today, the first day of school, she wore a Buc-ee’s t-shirt and just sports shorts with crocs. I asked her a couple times if she’s sure she wants to wear that. But my partner and their mother think she looks homeless and should wear nicer clothes for her first day. I can’t even convince her to take a nice outfit over to Grammys when she goes to church. My partner told her to change and the kid started crying. Would you have made her change?

For example….work mode to home mode. Parent mode to partner mode.

I’m sure some of you can understand the difficulty of making friends. I have work friends but it never really moves to outside work friends. One person I work with (23 nonbinary so will be using they/them) I get along with pretty well and thought would fit into my crowd.

I wanted to invite them to my wedding but wasn’t sure if they’d be like “why is this weird old lesbian woman inviting me to her wedding?” (I’m 31 and my partner is 35).

Well folks, the next step has been made! We were in a work meeting together and after their talking part they texted me and we were joking about it! I feel like that’s a step closer.

I’m sure some of you can understand the difficulty of making friends. I have work friends but it never really moves to outside work friends. One person I work with (23 nonbinary so will be using they/them) I get along with pretty well and thought would fit into my crowd.

I wanted to invite them to my wedding but wasn’t sure if they’d be like “why is this weird old lesbian woman inviting me to her wedding?” (I’m 31 and my partner is 35).

Well folks, the next step has been made! We were in a work meeting together and after their talking part they texted me and we were joking about it! I feel like that’s a step closer.

I went to bed earlier than usual the last two night because I felt so tired. Three people told me on their own at separate times that I looked tired. And today I’m just exhausted and standing feels like so much work.
My fiancé says “you gotta eat better” but I don’t feel like this all the time and I’ve eaten much worse than I have been recently.

I (f31) slept like crap last night. Insomnia hit hard and I only got about 4 hours of sleep at most. My daughter and I got home from a store run and karate (about 2 hours of activity) but My fiancé (35f) had already been home for 30 or so minutes. I had done the dishes then sat down on a chair. My fiancé comes over was trying to get in my space and kiss me ect. They said “hey you want to come to the bedroom with me?” Knowing they were trying to get it on, I said no I’m too tired to do anything right now. Now they’re “frustrated and horny”, being mad at me, making comments,

So my fiancé often gets mad by my messy and disorganization because “I can tell you what pile that’s in” is not organization apparently.

Most systems I try I either fall off the wagon from or just plain don’t work. What’s y’all’s tried and true swear by it methods?

Edits for Important information:

The biggest issue is “my side” of our room and surfaces. I have a craft desk that usually becomes a piling place (as does a chair in the living room and tables near the front door). Then we have our shared laundry basket by my desk that’s over flowing, clothes on the floor, sometimes my side table gets a little messy, and our shared closet that has my dresser in it, both of our shoes (theirs are on the ground next to my dresser and mine are on the top shelf), and large things that are dirty that we can’t exactly clean right away (apartment living, yay) in front of my dresser. The top shelf isn’t really my problem. The “messy” part up there is theirs

My daughter (7) goes to a public school. Last year the bus was free. I just got an email that it’s a charge now. I didn’t ride the bus much when I was a kid but I’m pretty sure there wasn’t a charge. Everyone I’ve told is equally as shocked. Does any of your schools charge? I’m a little annoyed by it, honestly. We don’t live close enough to walk (not that shes old enough anyways) and after care is expensive

Bills and rent set bank account under $300. Managed to get some personally but it’s still -$190. I’m afraid my rent will be denied and I’ll get a late and denial charge.

I’m 31 female marrying my wife 35 nonbinary. My coworker is 23 nonbinary. I enjoy working with them, there’s always good conversations and laughing when we work together. I always enjoy working with them. But we’re not out of work friends. We know some about each others lives but I don’t have their personal number or social media pages. I have time to decide.
I’m neurodivergent so social things are hard for me sometimes. And my wife’s coworkers were their friends first so 🤷🏼‍♀️

Is it weird??

We’ve been dating for nearly 3 years. They have trauma from past relationships and have been told they’re too much. I really really love them and we plan to get married. I gotta be honest here, they are a lot. Needs a lot of attention, cuddling without doing anything else, and sex. That doesn’t make me love them any less. It does drain me though. We have kids, I work a full time job, they work like 3/4 part time job. I don’t do most of the house work, but I do most of the kid work. I also don’t sleep well. Sometimes I’m tired AF. But they’ve started saying I’m neglecting them and I’ve been more distant. It comes to a point sometimes that both them and the kids say I spend too much time with the other one.

It’s gotten intense lately, how do I kindly say “I love you but calm the fuck down sometimes” without making them feel like they’re tooo much.

Weed hasn’t really had any negative effect on me. But I know I need to stop, it’s not good for you and it’s too expensive right now.

Buuuuuttt it helps me a lot (or at least that’s what I tell myself).

Id taken a day break for a work trip but I could not eat. I have a herniated esophagus which I tell myself it helped (I could be wrong, I could be right. Scientifically/medically, no clue). I caved and ubered to a dispo.

I’ve been holding off on smoking until it’s a little later in the morning before lighting up. But today I could not focus at work at all. My brain was just a white room, I couldn’t think of what I needed to do and it took me a while to do something simple.

I always cave. How do I get myself to stop! I’m also addicted to the hand the mouth motion.

TLDR; I fucked up bad on my partners bday weekend and I need ideas to help fix it.

Today’s my partners bday. Saturday, I arranged for their friends and us to go out to dinner. I invited their sister as well but her partner doesn’t like the place we were going to. Sunday, during the week, we had agreed to do laundry at my mom’s house because it’s free and we’re broke. I didn’t have any other festivities planned for them. Since their sister didn’t go to the dinner, they decided they were going to come hang out Sunday. The thing is, nothing is ever set in stone and she just kinda hangs out when she wants. She’s really hard to make plans with and never texts me back when I try to set things up for my partner. (They say no one cares sometimes, I’m trying to show them I do.) Sunday morning our plan was…Finish what we were watching, get ready to go to moms (we had to do laundry and she has it for free) , then leave. I go out and walk the dog and come back to grab the clothes and I’m told “sister is almost here” so all plans were thrown up in the air now. I don’t know what’s going on because I thought we were leaving. I’m trying to figure out when we’re doing laundry and going to get our daughter because they talk a lot and will not make it super quick. So I asked questions and instead of answering them, they just changed the plans without talking to me, again. I didn’t like that and I flipped, panic and confused. (I’m on the and/autism spectrum so switches like that are hard for me and I was just trying to figure out the plan but they kept doing things to it). They told me to stop asking and to leave them alone because they were getting triggered. I know I messed up here. I kept pushing and pushed for an answer. Long story short, things blew up and things go thrown. Their sister dropped off a cake and pizza and just left without saying hi. And laundry still isnt done.
My problem/question here is, how do I fix this?? They’re super mad, heart broken right now, and keep going on a BPD spiral.
I WAS going to give them another present today (their actual birthday) and get a cake with the decorations they requested and do nice things today as well. But since sister brought a cake, they also told me not to get one, so….yeah. I thought about getting a writing thing for the cake to still put the decorations they wanted on it. And I threw the present at them yesterday….

I (31) already know I’m the asshole here. But let’s start. My issue is, I still think I’m kinda right…..,

It’s my partners bday(35) weekend (asshole strike #1 I think). During the week, we agreed to hang out at my mom’s house so we (me) can laundry. We went out last night and they were trying to arrange something with their sister today. (Strike #2 because I said this next thing to them) it’s not technically their birthday. Their birthday is during the week. So the plan was finish what we were watching, get ready to, then go to moms, hang out, do laundry. They agreed. Their sister was going to hang out with us but it’s usually up in the air on many things. Next thing I know it’s she’s coming over here. I said when did this change and when are we doing laundry. Because we have a lot of it. Instead of giving me an answer they just text their sister to actually go to my mom’s house. And said oh it’s okay, I’ll just tell her to go there. I still didn’t have an answer. I didn’t ask for them to change it, I wanted an answer. After asking a few times what happened they said “she texted me that she was on the way and so I told her to just come here” (I was outside when this happened and came back to start this). By that point things have already exploded. They had asked to leave them alone and I was already worked up because I’m on the adhd/autistm spectrum and changes to plans are hard for me and always shake me up and confuse me. So instead of leaving them alone, I said no not until I get an answer. Which escalated it more. Later they got into my face about it and told me to stop or something and I still pushed a button and said something. So I know I’m the asshole here. And there are probably a bunch of questions. But I was to know, am I just the asshole? And how do I fix this.

I don’t even know how to further explain that. But I mess up a lot. I drop things, I spill things, I knock things over, I’m directionally challenged (I’m the main driver unfortunately). I call myself the reverse mutis touch. Everything I touch turns to shit.

Edit for situation example that literally just happened: I’m just trying to eat my lunch and a piece of chicken fell onto my desk out of my deep bowl.

I’m also super forgetful 😭

My dress isn’t really typical bouquet style dress. I made a joke of carrying my dad’s urn down the aisle. Otherwise I wouldn’t know what to do with my hands

Edit: the dress was asked for.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Weddingsunder10k/s/LhRqdm9uZ9