AIO My Boyfriend’s Ex Slept in His Bed
My boyfriend and his ex share a child as well as a pet. I’ve posted before about our difficult history as he firmly believes that being a good co-parent involves full integration of his ex into his life. He treats her well. They speak daily and spend time together weekly as a family. I am not invited to their time together which has caused some conflicts in the past - especially around holidays and vacations. I have been trying for years to put in place boundaries that protect my needs and that of our relationship.
Recently, their pet was sick, and we were away, so his ex came with their child to his house. We do not live together, but obviously, I spend a lot of time at his house when our schedules align, and I consider the bedroom a private, intimate space. Because the pet was sick, the ex and the child stayed overnight, and she slept in his bed.
For many reasons, this has been disturbing to me, but he does not see this as a big deal and has said that I am causing drama during a time when more important things are at stake and that I am consistent in causing drama around a person who is important to him and will always maintain a central role in his life. He characterizes himself as a great father and loyal family man and suggests that I am always jealous and insecure. He says I am overreacting around a bed.
Many of you have asked why I stay. Beyond staying or going, is this a big deal? Is it me?
EDIT: We don’t live together because I also have kids, but we have been together for many years, and I am supposedly the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with. He has also been separated from his ex for many years, but they want their young child to experience family life and feel that if anyone else is there, it would be distracting. All immediate family members can be present though (grandparents, siblings, cousins, etc.). I am sometimes invited now, but sometimes not. I still have some issues with this, too.