u/garlicshrimpscampi

My friend, who let's call Nancy, has always wanted a surprise party for her birthday. The actual day of her birthday was pretty rough, so we decided to throw her a surprise party this year to fulfill her wish. We came together as a friend group to decorate my house with birthday decor we knew she would like. Made it fancy as she's into fancy things. I'm an amatuer baker, and have been baking for a non-profit who serves at-risk youth, family, & friends for years now. Nancy mentioned a month ago that she wanted a cake from me, but I wasn't sure if that was still what she wanted as she never said a flavor. Apparantly, she was dissapointed on her actual birthday that I didn't make her cake. So I decided to make her one for the surprise party. Nancy has really been into a specific book lately, so I thought I would make the cake in the colors of the book. The party took place at my house, and we picked up some food from a restaurant to be ready for when she came. Nancy's sister was in charge of bringing her to my house. They ended up being two hours late. Nancy complained about just about everything. The ingredients for her favorite alcoholic drink were wrong (even though every recipe we found online said the ingredients that we bought), complained that the cake did not look like it went with the book enough, complained that she wasn't dressed fancy, blamed me for ruining the surprise an hour before she came which was really just a misunderstanding with her sister, and didn't even want to take pictures with the photo op we made. She seemed genuinely dissapointed, and didn't thank a single person. You can't beg for a surprise party for years, and then complain the whole time when you get one!

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/LegoBirthdayGift

Originally posted to r/AmItheAsshole

AITA for "showing up" my brothers girlfriend by getting him a birthday gift he liked more and not warning her I was getting a big gift?

Thanks to u/soayherder & u/NumbAsHell1 for suggesting this BoRU

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Original Post: July 19, 2026

I (25F) have a twin brother (25M). Growing up our favourite pastime was building Lego together. Our family couldn't afford it often so the sets we had were treasured and we'd always buy bags of loose bricks from Charity Shops whenever we saw them. It was a major bonding time for us making things together and my brother claims that those days of playing with Lego is what inspired him to go on and become an Architect.

It was our birthday on Friday, and we had a small thing with family, my boyfriend of three years (27M) was there and so was my brothers girlfriend of two years (24F), during the gift exchange we left each other’s presents to last as we always have and opened our respective gifts. They were very nice and enjoyable, nothing to complain about on either side. When we exchanged gifts, however, it led to some laughs and delight on both sides. I got him the Neuschwanstein Castle Lego set, and he got me the Notre Dame Lego set. He clearly loved his gift and was going on about how excited he was to build it and how he'd be spending his next day off working on it. He showed a lot more enthusiasm for this than the watch his girlfriend got him though he had clearly liked that too.

Since then his girlfriend has reached out to me insisting I tried to show her up deliberately by getting him a gift he'd like more and how she was trying to treat him like an adult with her gift while I was encouraging him to be childish. She also thinks we somehow planned this gift exchange as we both got Lego for each other. I had to tell her no it is just something we have always enjoyed together and it's just natural we'd do this. I also told her than I had no intention of showing her up but that if she really wanted to win the day with gifts she should have considered his interests and not worried about what seems appropriate for an adult. She then pivoted to the fact that she is his girlfriend, and I should have warned her I was getting an expensive gift. I pointed out my brother didn't warn my boyfriend, but she insists that doesn't matter. That I should have.

Was I in the wrong for not giving her warning and leading to her feeling "shown up" as a result? I have never felt the need to give warning when my brother dated but maybe I should have?

Verdict: Not the Asshole

Relevant Comments

Commenter 1: NTA. Oh, please don't let her ruin what sounds like a beautiful birthday tradition. The fact that you and your twin managed to independently buy each other massive Lego sets is honestly magical and hilarious. It shows how deeply connected you two still are, which is exactly how it should be.

> OOP: Thank you, honestly it's not the first time we've done something like this, and I doubt it'll be the last we're just very alike and know each other well. Still though both being massive sets was hilarious. I could see one big set and one small/medium set being more likely.

Commenter 2: NTA as a twin if my brother-in-law got offended I would flat out tell him to get to know his wife better! You were being kind and gentle! She needs to get over herself!

> OOP: Honestly I wanted to say much worse than I did and her picking a gift just because it seemed more adult just struck me as so weird! > >> Commenter 2: IT IS WEIRD! I’m sure what your BF got you was actually something you like not something he wants you to be! That’s honestly such a red flag! Not that he doesn’t love the watch but that she’s trying to get him to “grow up” Lego is fun for everyone! That’s why it’s for ages 100+! >> >>> OOP: You're right he did! My boyfriend got me three Nendoroid's that I’ve been wanting, and I spent most of yesterday arranging them. Most people would find that "childish" because they're "toys" never mind they're collectible items. I didn't mention them as it wasn't relevant to the situation, but he always makes sure to get me things he knows I’d like.

OOP explains more about what the Nendoroids her boyfriend got her

> OOP: Ukyo from Amnesia (he had to buy this one from a seller online as it's an older one), Jinshi from Apothecary Diaries and Loid Forger from Spy x Family. He calls them my "Toy Boyfriends"

+

> It's a visual novel/Otome that was popular back in the day and Ukyo was my favourite love interest in it, it was also an anime. Yeah I don't want to think how much he spent on this but he's for sure my favourite one of the three!

Commenter 3: INFO: what kind of watch did she (editor's note: the GF) get him?

Curious if she was going for a big gift that didn’t land (which would suck especially if it’s a big boy watch) but also it says something if that wasn't right for him

> OOP: I don't know much about watches, but she said it was a Rotary? not sure if that's a big one or not.

 

Update: July 22, 2026 (three days later)

Update: AITA for "showing up" my brothers girlfriend by getting him a birthday gift he liked more and not warning her I was getting a big gift?

I'd like to start by saying thank you to everyone for your comments and like many of you recommended I ended up showing the messages she sent me to my twin brother. I went round to his today, it's his day off and he wanted my help making a start on the set I got him. I'd have brought the set he got me so we could make them together but since it lives at my place it's not smart to try and move it back and forth. He's going to come to mine on Saturday to help me make a start on it.

While we were working on it together I admitted to him that his girlfriend had messaged me and that I was concerned as she doesn't seem to like his hobby with Lego, seeing it as childish and seems to find me as some kind of threat which is weird and gross because seriously, that's my twin? I also expressed worry that she may try to sabotage the things he likes just to make him "grow up". He asked to see my phone and I passed it over, he read the messages in silence and was quiet for about a minute before saying and I quote "oh fuck no" and he then pulled out his phone and began to message her. When I asked what he was doing he said he was sorting it, and when I tried to ask tell me what he meant by that he just made noises to cut me off like he used to when we were kids and he felt like annoying me.

I managed to see the messages, and he straight up just told her that he saw the messages she sent me and he wanted his key back, and she had till 8pm to drop it off and she was to put it through the letterbox and not bother trying to talk to him. If she didn't he'd be having his locks changed. HE THEN BLOCKED HER NUMBER!. When I asked him if he was being a bit hasty and maybe he should talk to her instead he told me he could forgive a lot of things and they could have even worked through her not liking his hobby, but no one talks to me like that or makes gross implications like that to me.

He then refused to talk further about her insisting we keep building the set. I left about 2 hours ago and I'm just sitting laughing about this and a bit amused by this whole mess. My boyfriend can't stop laughing over this and told me he was glad he never got on my brothers wrong side

EDIT: Some updates that happened as I had to wait to have my post approved. My brother let me know she did turn up to return his keys, but she didn't put them through the letterbox like he asked, at least not at first. She apparently stood knocking and shouting at the door for an hour before finally putting it through the letterbox calling him all kinds of names through it as she did so, he was apparently just building his Lego as she did this and kept turning his music up, so it was clear he was home, but he was ignoring her.

On his way to work he also dropped her keys in through her letterbox so he wouldn't have to interact with her. I've asked him if this is being petty and maybe he should have talked to her he told me that yes, he's being petty, and if she wants to make him "grow up" then he will be childish with her. I've also blocked his now ex-girlfriend as she began to message me blaming me for this mess and asking me what I did. So yeah, that is what happened! thought you'd all like this additional information.

Relevant Comments

Commenter 1: I think that was what broke the camel’s back. I think she been doing stuff and saying things about his hobby that he could work out and talk through, she just step over a boundary by messing with you.

> OOP: That is what I think too, as he said he could "forgive a lot" and how quickly he snapped over this. I doubt it's the first thing she's done that he didn't like.

Commenter 2: Oh you are a messy bench and I love it! Hahaha this needs to be sent to Charlotte dobre YouTube lol. But also please let us know if there’s anything more!

> OOP: I think she seriously underestimated how petty my brother is. She thought he was childish before when she had the "adult" and "mature" version...

Commenter 3: As a fellow lover of "childish" things, I make the argument that there is a difference in the enjoyment of things deemed childish and being childish. My SiL has a kid with (as I call him) a grown ass baby - a guy in his 20s who can’t do anything for himself and expects his partner to be his mom - while my wife never sees an issue if I want a new video game or magic the gathering cards. Some people just suck, and not in a fun way

> OOP: I fully agree with you! I also love childish things, the spare room at my place is full of Lego and figures. I just love how he seems to have been like "Oh I’ll show her childish"

Downvoted Commenter: Do we know WHY SHE WAS JEALOUS? If your brother buys you bigger and expensive gifts and not his girlfriend I would also be really mad

> OOP: Well her 24th birthday his gift to her was a trip to Spain so I doubt that's it

 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

going on a first time cruise as a couple! all of these ships leave galveston port, are 7 days and priced for 2 people with a chosen balcony (excluding excursion costs). They all leave around the same dates in january next year. We are most likely going to splurge for drinks and wifi as well.

I would love to hear any opinions on both of these as well as personal experiences, on both ships, ports and opinions on the weather that time of year. this is all the notes i got so far from my own research but i’d love to know if that extra cost for norwegian is worth it.

Norwegian Viva
- $2740 with free at sea (not including service fee)
- $250 deposit until sept 18
- price includes unlimited alcoholic/nonalc drinks, 3 speciality dining meals, wifi, and $50 excursion credit
- cozumel, roatan, harvest caye, costa maya
- newest ship by far (2023)
- not as much variety in free dining but the speciality dining meals make up for it
- least party boat feel, looks like it has the best bathroom

MSC seascape
- $2040 (includes drinks and wifi but not service fees)
- $400 deposit due by oct 18
- costa maya, roatan, cozumel
- can get a slightlyyy larger balcony/room for same price as regular balcony
- least variety in dining options, but supposedly best quality (and known for the best pizza)
- seems like mostly mediocre reviews online

i’m indian american for reference.

I bought a few cans of mango pulp because it was on sale at the indian grocery store and i wanted to make mango lassi. now we’re tired of mango lassi but i still have a lot of pulp leftover!! Would love suggestions on anything else i can make with it, indian or otherwise.

We’re not really into halwa/other mithais, and i don’t really have a blender at the moment but have all other appliances! help us put these mangos to good use please!!’ thank you!

Hi! I’m so sorry if this is a stupid question, but I don’t eat beef and my boyfriend does, I want to make a nice steak dinner for him as a surprise but I genuinely have no clue where to even start. all the instructions on the internet are varying and overwhelming. I’ve been watching reels on how to make it but i’m so intimidated.

I work near a TJs so I want to pick up all the ingredients from there, but here’s some questions I have!

- What cut of meat is best and what does it look like at TJs? (that’s not super expensive — i’d hate to waste expensive meat if i mess it up)

- What are some good TJs sides to go with it? I’m thinking some oven roasted asparagus and a side salad at least! I don’t really have it in me to make mashed potatoes from scratch rn.

- Any good beginner friendly tips? Unfortunately I don’t have a cast iron pan but I have a knock off hex-clad and a stainless steel pan, also only an electric stove and a plug in tabletop grill

- what’s the best seasoning? I’m indian so i’m inclined to heavily season it but I know he wouldn’t prefer that.

- what else should I know? I don’t even know what questions I should be asking! Thank you guys in advance!!!