r/nonmonogamy

Is a threesome socially acceptable? Are girls judged if they do it? Is having casual sex as a girl okay?

Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/nonmonogamy/comments/1og59bf/

I received comments asking me to report back in a year, and many private messages asking for an update. It's been a year since my original post, and here is what I can share:

- I don't know if my husband has had any extra-marital involvements. He has plenty of opportunity to do so, with solo social engagements and work trips. To be honest, I don't think much about it.

- I also have plenty of solo social engagements and work trips, and my husband doesn't show any signs of heightened curiosity around those. His behavior seems to indicate that he's not really thinking about it either.

- I still have an emotional involvement with the same person from a year ago. I've found that when I feel more connected to him, I also feel more connected to my husband and more present in my marriage. It's been a net positive experience.

- My husband and I have made reference to the open marriage twice in the past year in the context of discussing larger structural elements in our shared life. We did not discuss the open marriage itself - we just acknowledged its existence as an established factor.

- In general, it's been a good year. We're happy and our family is thriving.

As the title reads my husband and I recently went to a sex lounge for the first time but chickened out and left. We spoke prior to going in what our rules are which was that we’re not doing anything with anyone else we’re just there to explore and experience everything and to play with each other. Only after paying the entry fee and walking around we realized that we’re the only couple and I am the only female. There is about 10 or so other men besides my husband. Nevertheless after while I sit on the bed in the darkest corner and my husband starts to eat me out, he’s doing all the things but for some reason it only feels good and not great .. I can’t cum. My husband realizes and asks me if I’m good I say I am good I just am nervous and I ask to suck him off. He pulls his dick out of his pants and he’s completely flaccid and laughs and says he guesses he’s nervous too. I then try to suck his dick , lick his balls , nibble his thighs and nada. I panic that I can’t get him hard and I’m too nervous to let him eat me out again. I panic and say let’s go so we pack up and leave, still horny we then head to a nearby adult store booth and fucked while letting two guys watch. I am thinking it’s because there was a bunch of men just jerking off to us only we felt as if there was a bunch of pressure to put on a performance? Did anyone else have this issue of not being able to cum or get hard during play? Is there maybe other steps we should be taking before attending a sex club again?

Okay so me(M25) and my girlfriend(F22) have been together for over 4 years and we’ve always been open to alternative lifestyles. So the past year we’ve been hanging out with this guy that i met online (we has no intention of an MFM when we started hanging out) he is a little older than is (M32) but we always have fun together because we like the same thing and have the same temperaments. So it’s always a fun time when we 3 hangout out. We are so comfortable hanging out with each other that we make vulgar joke and she comfortable enough with him to dress anyway she wants to infront of him( that’s like a major sign that she’s comfortable) we love to party together at parties and even just the three of us. I’d like to bring up 2 instances, 

1- We were all super drunk one night and he got emotional saying that he is happy he found us and we both got emotional because of it and had this group hug for a long time that ended up with us 3 cuddling to sleep. 2- the most recent one was when we got baked and he told us how jealous he was of is and wanted to be a part of a relationship, the subject changed but me and her talked about it after. We talking in detail as to how we felt when he said that and the prevailing opinion was that we’d be more than happy to include in into our relationship. But we also have some questions before we bring it up to him.

One being that I’m straight and not even bi curious, so will that affect the relationship of us 3. 

Two being that we like that fact that he is not related to any of our friend groups so we can be discreet and private with it, is that a good thing?

Three, after we bring it up to him how should we start, does she have to have a good first kiss with him and then jump into the other stuff and what would those other stuff be, because she has some ideas to dip our toes in. 

My wife and I opened up our relationship a couple of years ago, starting out with her and it has been great. We are now ready for me to do so as well (37 male), but it has been more challenging than I anticipated.

I don’t want to use tinder 1 because I don’t want to match with people not in the lifestyle , and 2 for privacy reasons in my city

Have any other guys experienced this? My wife and I are both fit and I like to think pretty decent looking so she never has a problem finding dates

Mildly frustrating 😖

First of all, English is not my first language so I sorry if im wrong with my grammar.

I’ve been with my partner for four years, but we’ve maybe been intimate about 20 times—and that’s it. I care about him a lot, and it’s my first long-term relationship, but there’s no chemistry beyond that. I’m thinking about suggesting we open up the relationship—just for the physical side of things, nothing romantic with anyone else. Have any of you had a similar experience?

My wife & I are happily married of 20 years . Together for 30 years .
We are 48 years old .
What started as jokey questions has now got me thinking !
I was messing about on chat GPt & sent my wife a funny type questionnaire regarding threesomes . ( something we have have never discussed )
To my surprise my wife had a bit of interest in ffm threesome . Not crazy for it but enough to get me thinking ! .
She scored 1/5 for mfm
But 3/5 for ffm but on further convo was 4/5 for a women going down on her but only 2/5 the other way around .
I’m probably like most men on earth in that 2 women would be very nice in the moment .
I suppose my question is , has anyone been in similar situation?
Do both need to be 5/5 to attempt to make it a reality .
By look of it we are both curious without being obsessed.
Obvious obstacles being how to arrange , the weirdness of it , the doing it ! & the fact my wife doesn’t sound keen on going down & being reciprocal ( might seem rude 😂?)
As much as I think we’d both enjoy & being able to handle the after emotions
Are we not ready or committed enough to even begin to think about making it a reality ?

(F23)

What do I wear 😂 (hot weather, pool involved etc)
How to get around the nerves or not knowing what to do or say or what is and isn’t okay. Or how it all starts off
I’m not typically one to start something I rather someone tell me exactly what they want me to do. How do I tell the other couple that ?

Do sugar couples exist that are looking for sugar baby or couple? 23f, fit, tan, and Italian.