My open marriage is so close to divorce, please help
Some details about us:
- Together for 8 years
- Open our entire relationship
- Married since October 2025
- Started being active in the LS community in 2023
For the last two and a half years, my husband has been seeing a woman (B) we met through LS. My husband tried to have discussions with me about it over the last two years, but it was more about the sexual aspects about it and not as much about the emotional aspects.
There was definitely a misunderstanding within our open marriage that helped create this perfect storm. While I only value sex with others, he values sex with the emotional connection. The reason I didn’t understand this is because prior to B existing, he never voiced that (in a way I understood) or had that with anyone. I thought their relationship was super casual because they saw each other like once a quarter. What I didn’t know and he didn’t communicate is they talk almost every day and would spend more time together if it weren’t for me. Once this came to light at the beginning of this year, my husband voiced his need for emotional connection with his sexual partners. He said there are no romantic feelings whatsoever, but are great friends and have great sexual chemistry. They are currently only friends with no sexual relationship because of how difficult this has been on our marriage, or rather how hard this has been on me.
After learning all of this, things in our marriage started to go sideways. I can’t seem to get myself to be ok with it. It hurts me so deeply. I’ve tried analyzing my feelings, reading on how to build trust in an open marriage, and so much more. Nothing helps. I feel so lost and depressed. What can I do? How can I become ok with it?