u/elliaswynn

My mother keeps abusing me…I don't know what to do because I'm financially dependent on my mom and she pays for my university ( which costs a lot) but she keeps abusing me. I'll say right away that I don't have any contact with my father. After my younger sister was born, our relationship got really bad. My sister is 7, I'm 19 yrs. During arguments my mother always threatens to send me to live with my grandparents at the village in the montains. I love them very much and we have a great relationship but they live in super small village, there no people my age and everything is very far away from there. I won't describe every situation because it will take a lot of time, but there are few examples.
Recently we were travelling and we stayed at the hotel. It was time for us to leave and we were packing our things, and I wanted to turn on air conditioner bc it was super hot and | always get sick in the heat. To do that I moved some of her bags aside and wanted to climb onto a chair because the air conditioner remote control stopped working. She got angry at me for moving her bags and slapped my thigh with full force. I got angry and said to her "Would you like if I did that to you?".
She said to me "Go ahead and hit me back". I slapped her back on the thigh. She got very offended and stopped talking to me for like ~12 hours. I had to say sorry, not because I was actually sorry but because I depend on her.
Even though I'm over 18 I can't work because she
constantly asks me to look after my sister. For half of the summer or more, 1 was babysitting her from morning to 5-6 PM. She also expects me to take her to school starting and September and than pick her up from school( my classes at university are in the evening).
Another situation just happened. We were standing in the check in counter at the airport business class. My sister likes to annoy me for fun( it's not fun at all for me but nobody cares) so she started kicking me, pulled my pants down, started stepping on me- she knows she won't get in trouble for that, but if I do something about it my mom would start yelling at me. I couldn't take it anymore, because I've already told her about 10 times that I don't like that and I want her to stop so I spanked her. My mother immediatly started yelling at me, telling me to live her alone. She got really aggressive after that because my mom's yelling made her think that she is right, my sister started getting on my nerves even harder than before so! spanked her again. My mother started yelling harder at me, telling me that she's just a child etc..and my sister decided to take a revenge on me (I guess) so she kicked my leg with her leg I got mad at her and kicked her back like she did it( not hard because I still understand that she is a child). My mother saw it and became furious. She kicked me back in the led woth her leg with all her strength and it was painful…After that, she started telling me that as soon as we got home I have to live for my grandparents place, that she’ll buy me a ticket and send me there.
I have absolutely no idea what to even do. My grandparents can’t help me with money because they are not rich at all and they wouldn’t be able to give me more than 50$ a month. I know she won’t actually kick me out, but I’m so tired of how she treats me.. About two hours later, she came up to me and said that we were both wrong, that hitting a child is not allowed. She admitted that she lost her temper, but didn't apologize. I don't even want to talk to her. Why is a child allowed to hit me, pull my clothes off in front of everyone, and bully me, but I'm not allowed to spank her on the butt?

I don't know what to do because I'm financially dependent on my mom and she pays for my university ( which costs a lot) but she keeps abusing me. I'll say right away that I don't have any contact with my father. After my younger sister was born, our relationship got really bad. My sister is 7, I'm 19 yrs. During arguments my mother always threatens to send me to live with my grandparents at the village in the montains. I love them very much and we have a great relationship but they live in super small village, there no people my age and everything is very far away from there. I won't describe every situation because it will take a lot of time, but there are few examples.
Recently we were travelling and we stayed at the hotel. It was time for us to leave and we were packing our things, and I wanted to turn on air conditioner bc it was super hot and | always get sick in the heat. To do that I moved some of her bags aside and wanted to climb onto a chair because the air conditioner remote control stopped working. She got angry at me for moving her bags and slapped my thigh with full force. I got angry and said to her "Would you like if I did that to you?".
She said to me "Go ahead and hit me back". I slapped her back on the thigh. She got very offended and stopped talking to me for like ~12 hours. I had to say sorry, not because I was actually sorry but because I depend on her.
Even though I'm over 18 I can't work because she
constantly asks me to look after my sister. For half of the summer or more, 1 was babysitting her from morning to 5-6 PM. She also expects me to take her to school starting and September and than pick her up from school( my classes at university are in the evening).
Another situation just happened. We were standing in the check in counter at the airport business class. My sister likes to annoy me for fun( it's not fun at all for me but nobody cares) so she started kicking me, pulled my pants down, started stepping on me- she knows she won't get in trouble for that, but if I do something about it my mom would start yelling at me. I couldn't take it anymore, because I've already told her about 10 times that I don't like that and I want her to stop so I spanked her. My mother immediatly started yelling at me, telling me to live her alone. She got really aggressive after that because my mom's yelling made her think that she is right, my sister started getting on my nerves even harder than before so! spanked her again. My mother started yelling harder at me, telling me that she's just a child etc..and my sister decided to take a revenge on me (I guess) so she kicked my leg with her leg I got mad at her and kicked her back like she did it( not hard because I still understand that she is a child). My mother saw it and became furious. She kicked me back in the led woth her leg with all her strength and it was painful…After that, she started telling me that as soon as we got home I have to live for my grandparents place, that she’ll buy me a ticket and send me there.
I have absolutely no idea what to even do. My grandparents can’t help me with money because they are not rich at all and they wouldn’t be able to give me more than 50$ a month. I know she won’t actually kick me out, but I’m so tired of how she treats me.. About two hours later, she came up to me and said that we were both wrong, that hitting a child is not allowed. She admitted that she lost her temper, but didn't apologize. I don't even want to talk to her. Why is a child allowed to hit me, pull my clothes off in front of everyone, and bully me, but I'm not allowed to spank her on the butt?