u/AdSpecific3089

His name is Cocoa, he’s a pound puppy that my dad got in 1985(?) that I got when I was born in 2005. He is 41 years old.

Well anyways, I’m 21 and have a college degree, my own apartment, my own job, etc and am all out in the world on my own and yet I still can’t sleep without cocoa. He sleeps in my arms every night and many days he is all I’ve got.

Ive had people tell me it’s childish and maybe it is but what age is too old to still sleep with your stuffed animal? I’ve lost so much in my life and I don’t want to lose cocoa too.

its currently 1am and I’ve been up crying over some things tonight and he is currently in my arms but I feel stupid and ashamed to still have a stuffed animal💔

edit- thanks so much for all of the support. I’ve been really sad recently and was just in the hospital because of the flu which turned into pneumonia so I’ve been terribly sick and I have nobody in my life really…just my pound puppy. I feel alone all of the time unfortunately and he’s all I’ve got most days

I know it’s $2 but I wasn’t even given a single option to tip or not tip On the screen, it went straight to the payment. I didn’t press a single button.

yet, when I brought this up to the worker and told her I never left a tip, she told me I did leave one…I never touched the pin pad Or say a tip option on there.

I asked for a refund, she refused to refund me and said “you definitely left a tip” so I just left. I’m going to file a chargeback with my bank once this posts

So, I posted here a few hours ago about two rings I couldn’t get off. I ended up going to the hospital and after waiting for quite some time (because this isn’t exactly an emergency) they were easily able to cut these off. They did try lubricant and such, but they weren’t able to slide the rings off sadly, which is fine because these rings were like $10 in a pack of 5 from hot topic so idrc much about them. They said this happens all the time and were very kind.

However, I’m being admitted for a totally different reason so I’m still in the er. I realized once at the er that my mental health is in a really terrible spot (not because of this, just in general recently) and I’ve been wanting to not be here for some time now. Well, going to the hospital for this small stupid ring issue gave me the courage to seek a mental health evaluation.

I feel very alone most days, I’ve lost the man I thought I was going to marry, and a ton of other things all combined and this felt like the icing on the cake that really made me realize how much I hate myself and life. so yeah, thanks for all the kind comments on my last post (for those of you who were kind and not just instigating I was fat).

”oh my gosh let’s make fun of this fat girl who got a ring stuck on her finger that clearly must’ve been the wrong size” genuinely I hope some of yall are ashamed with yourselves for judging a random stranger you don’t know and calling me every fucking awful thing, fyi this is sarcasm, I’m not fat

all of this is just to say, you guys didn’t just help me get some rings off my fingers and save my fingers but you helped save ME too.

update- people are still insulting me in my original post and here, it fucking hurts. I went ahead and deleted the original post because I can’t handle all of the rude comments and mods aren’t doing anything

update 2-11:47pm est sep 4- its currently about midnight here, I’ve read through a good chunk of the comments and cried…I did not expect this post to take off the way it did. I just wanted to update everyone and say that while I’m still in the er, I’m about to be admitted to go to the psych unit and won’t be able to have my phone for much longer. It’s truly hard at the moment for me to believe anything good about myself, but I’m shocked to see a ton of strangers who care…when my own family and friends don’t even care. My family lives hundreds of miles away and I Don’t have many friends anymore, lost most all of them when I left my faith. So yeah, im at the hospital by myself.

fyi, because I saw a few people mention It, my fingernails are black because I dyed my hair black and they are stained, no medical issue.

also, prior to this post my post/comment history was hidden, after posting I turned it because I want people to see the person behind the screen they are talking to, to have a glimpse into my life (for better or for worse).

Thank you everyone, probably will be some time before I can update again.

posted this but deleted and reposted to include a photo showing what I mean, was hard to explain without a photo , thank u!

edit- I meant starting at the wrist and just flipped so it is going left to write by facing outer direction.

but anyways, turns out perhaps I am overthinking but that’s what I meant anywho

So, back in 2020 I was 15 and created a Marilyn Manson and Johnny depp fanpage. I gained quite a following at the time and Lindsay even followed me and liked a ton of my posts and such. My entire bedroom back then was completely covered in Manson and Depp decor and memorabilia lol (stuff is still somewhere in my parents garage).

Anywho, back then I NEVER thought I’d be able to see Manson because I never knew if he’d tour again after all that happened so last night was really special for me. MM saved my life as a teenager, truly. And he’s saved my life with his music as an adult too.

The amount of people that showed up and jammed out, how good he looked, how good he sounded, EVERYTHING just brought me to tears. It’s very amazing to see all of the support for Manson again after everything and it’s amazing to see him looking SOOO good. I mean I was sad as a teen I’d never see him in his prime but dare I say he’s so back and this is a new prime ?? He deserves this honestly, all of it.

I can’t even seem to find the proper words at all right now, but im grateful and my teenage self is happy for sure…and my adult self.

Don’t mind the back of my hair, I’m a natural blonde and it’s showing