r/whatdoIdo

We broke up six years ago after 6 years of a very important, deep, visceral, on-again off-again relationship. In short, we loved each other very very much but we both were at the time too toxic, young, jealous to be good and have a peaceful relationship, so we finally decided it was best for us to part ways.

It was not a rough breakup but we haven’t spoken since. A year after our breakup he wrote to me giving condolences for the passing of my father. Some years later, it happened that we saw each other at some local gigs and we said hello, nothing more. Some other times, in the same situations, he saw me but avoided me and didn’t say hello. Strange enough.

I went on with my life and he did too, but people told me that he still has some troubles recovering from our story and hasn’t had another proper relationship in the meanwhile. I did.

The thing is that after so much time I keep dreaming about him a lot lately. Didn’t happen so much in the past years. I dream that he is ok emotionally but not so ok physically, that he is ill, things like that.

This can be because some of our mutual friends have told me that doctors found something in his lungs some months ago and he was waiting for results. I have no updates.

Apart from the fact that I dream about him lately, I would love to see how he is doing in general. I have always hated ”surgical” breakups and cutting all things off.

What do I do?

So I have a friend who over the last few months has borrowed cash from me from time to time which has added up to apparently $12,000. Most of the cash I gave him was when we went to the casino and he was trying to avoid the outrageous atm charges. Anyway, he apparently went last week and filed a dispute on about 25 different Zelle charges he sent me amounting to roughly $12,500. So, I woke up this morning to my account being -$12,000 and there was 25 force debit charges where the bank took the money back out of my account and I can only assume gave it to him. What do I do?

I’m 17 in less than 2 weeks and I’ve been thinking about my life a lot, I have very low self esteem, 1 main friend, not particularly good looking, not that great when it comes to academics and have pretty much spent my days doing nothing. I don’t hang out with a lot of people, while I do technically have friends it’s more acquaintances from school that really couldn’t care less about me. We don’t really go out unless there’s the odd birthday or party I’m invited to. I also have friends from my music lessons away from school but they’re all older so it’s not really in the question for me to hang out with them. I have my best friend who I adore but she has her boyfriend who she is so in love with and they hang out quite a lot, so we don’t really interact as much as we used to. I obviously don’t mind it’s just I’ve noticed how much of my days I used to spend talking to her. I’ve felt so much more alone recently and I don’t know how to deal with it. I’ve even tried to ask my mother to do go and do something with me every now and again but she always says no, and it makes me feel even more pathetic. When it comes to school I struggle with maths and the language I study, everything else I’d say I’d be just below average at. I don’t know how to study or better myself when it comes to school, I am starting to stress myself out about school since I’m in my Second last year and I can feel the academic pressure. When it comes to doing stuff with my days I end up just mindlessly scrolling on my phone. Don’t get me wrong Ive have had good days when it comes to social stuff, but I’ve noticed me sort of being the extra friend, or that I’m not as much involved as the others are. And the only reason I’d be invited is because of my best friend being there. I don’t know if that’s a reflection on me or not. I wouldn’t describe myself as really awkward but I am on the more reserved side when it comes to most people, recently I’ve had a little bit of anxiety when talking to people because of it and have had trouble with eye contact in fear of being perceived as awkward. I feel like I’ve been wasting my teenage years and I’m scared I won’t know how to go about being an adult next year. I know this post is a little bit of word diarrhoea but i hope someone can try and make sense of it. I need advice.

So without sharing to much I just lost everything I mean everything….I need a job like yesterday… Can anyone tell me where a good place to start over is.. kinda dumb question but I have nothing holding me down or keeping me anywhere.. I’ve read some similar posts that is identical to my situation.. Any advice any job leads anywhere any housing leads? I flat out do not no what the hell I am going to do…I have no idea I’m so stressed out, emotionally drained mentally drained.. please don’t post nothing mean I can’t handle anymore criticism thanks!!! This is the lowest I have ever been other times I was able to pick myself up but not this time..

I was lying in bed tonight, and it occurred to me that at 56 years old, I don't think I've ever really felt wanted.

Not needed. Not useful. Not appreciated.

Wanted.

I was bullied in school. Bullied by my older brother.

Just as we were starting to get to know each other as adults, he killed himself at 20.

After that, my parents divorced. Even before then, though, I never felt like I belonged in that family. My brother was reckless, angry, and abusive. He seemed to consume all the oxygen in the room and all the energy in the house. The rest of us just reacted to whatever storm he brought with him.

I disappeared into school. Into studying. Into achievement.

Recognition was easier to understand than affection.

Dating never came easily. Few people seemed interested, and if they were, I was usually too insecure or oblivious to see it. I was never the person someone couldn't wait to choose. Never the obvious choice. Never the first choice.

I met my first girlfriend at university and fell hard.
She left a few years later after mostly long distance pain. Looking back, intimacy with her always felt difficult. I don't know if she was ever truly that into me. She wanted to stay friends, and I agreed. I stayed friends with her for many years finally cutting it off abruptly as she used me as a sounding board for her troubles with the one she left me for. ffs i’m an idiot for that - that wasn't good for me.

After my second university degree, I met someone else and we got married. She had been married before.

Things were difficult early on. I caught her talking to other men online. It broke something in me.
Intimacy mostly disappeared after that. It returned from time to time, just enough for us to have children, but never in a way that felt close or connected.

Over the years we've talked about it endlessly. At least, that's how it felt from my side. She would snap shut like an oyster, sealing whatever was underneath from view. Eventually I stopped believing there was a conversation to be had. Nothing ever really changed.

I know I have a role in all of this. I don't think life simply singled me out for special punishment.
Maybe it's my introversion. Maybe it's insecurity. Maybe it's a lack of social confidence. Maybe I've never quite understood other people, or known how to make myself understood.

I honestly don't know.

What I do know is that when I look back across the decades, there is a pattern that is impossible for me not to see.

I have spent most of my life feeling adjacent to love rather than inside it.
Close enough to touch it.
Close enough to glimpse it.
But never quite the person someone looked at with deep affection and thought, that's the one. That's who I choose.

And that's the part that hurts.

Not that life was hard. Most lives are hard in one way or another.

It's realizing that after all these years, after all the effort, after all the trying, there is a quiet possibility that this is simply not a thing I will ever experience.

If you've never stood in this place, this probably sounds pathetic.

Maybe it is.

But there is a particular loneliness in feeling unseen for so long that eventually you stop expecting anyone to look.

A particular sadness in wondering whether the common thread through every chapter of your life is simply you.

And tonight, lying in bed at 56, that thought landed a little heavier than usual.

I accidentally kept my old work laptop for 1.5 years.
It’s broken, still company-managed, and was never collected. It also has all the usual corporate security software and management tools installed. I don’t want it or the potential liability.

returned my replacement when I left, but this one vanished into the void. I’d rather not contact my ex-employer after 1.5 years and accidentally resurrect a corporate blame ritual.

Is there a way to get rid of it that is an environment friendly and not get any troubles (rather do not want to lawyer up again with that company .

Me, (17F) and my friend (17F) were in our Religious Education class. The assignment requires us being split into groups, one of 4 and one of 3 (including me and my friend).

My friend and I are sitting on the end of the table. Whereas, the other group is on the other end engaging in a fun conversation and making jokes that will turn into inside jokes, leading to us being further excluded in future conversations and classes

We understand that this is a group assignment, but they arent even doing their work which makes us feel even worse becausw theyre not even including us in their conversations.

They are naming KPOP geoups, which is our favourite activity, and the fact that theyre leaving us knowing that we love to do that is disgusting behaviour

We asked what else they were doing but they ignored us and kept talking to eachother

Theyre also talking about a festival whch we have been wanting to got o and theyre planning on buying tickets to go without us.

This behaviour has happened for a long time, since the term started (2 days ago)

I am constabtly excluded and ignored and my fried and i arent allowed in the circle at lunch time either

I was forced to sit alone at lunch and be seperated from my friend as well. The group stole my birthday cake that i planned to share, and ate it on my birthday.

Im planning to confront them about this soon

We'll update on the situation

Edit: Thanks for 100 likes. We are still being excluded its been an hour\

Edit 2: They ignored us again

umm, what do I do? this is my first time on Reddit so sorry in advance. I'm a teen and I have 2 Guinea pigs. after the school year started my mom has become more and more erratic and has started saying she will leave my Guinea pigs outside to, um, oof? when I'm not here. I am at school for around 10-11 hours a day everyday so if she were to do it, they would be gone by the time I come back. I've tried texting the national runaway hotline but nothing really helped me. shes more adamant about it, and at this point ive realized shes probably emotionally abusing me, with all the other things that are happening. I don't know what do to, and its years before I move out. umm, any advice?

Together for 20years. Have had ups and downs, and for a long time we were politically different. (That has changed… not due to me, but she realized on her own and changed her views that happen to more align with my own) The most significant reason we are not Facebook friends is that she has an extremely crazy jealous streak. So out of respect and caution, I never accepted her as a fb friend. I did so just to not add fuel to her issue. Sincerely. I am still not FB friends with her. Even after all this time together, she would lose her shit if she saw any posts from other women, whether exes platonic or ANY women.
So I deliberately never became FB friends with her.

I chose that because to me I didn’t want to exacerbate her issues. I felt that was better course of action.

Now I am questioning it.

But did so as to not cause her unwarranted stress.

AM/WAS I WRONG?

***OF NOTE: I’m not hiding anything nefarious. IN FACT I am FB friends with her brother, two sisters, and five of HER nieces and nephews. PLUS her ex-sister -in-law and ex brother-in-law

i like to get lash extensions and have been going to the same lash tech for about a year. she does a wonderful job with my extensions and did almost exactly what i wanted but it wasn't exact (i kept asking if she could make them a little fuller than she usually did and she would say okay and then never did).

i decided to find someone else to do my lashes so that i could have what i asked for. i found a girl in my town and she was so sweet and had a lot of great reviews and her work looked really good and she even had photos up of exactly what i wanted done. i went to my appointment this morning and i was there for three hours. i have never sat for more than one and a half so i was very hopeful. and when she showed me what she did i was very disappointed to say the least. i asked for short full cateye style extensions and she gave me long FULL (very dense) almost manga style extensions ?

i didn't want to be rude so i said i liked them, paid and left a tip, and got out of there.

i know she will follow up with me and ask how theyre holding up and will also follow up for a fill in appointment but i honestly do not want to go back. she and i are now mutuals on instagram, should i just go ghost and block her? should i tell her i lied and that i don't actually like them? i don't want to be mean as this took a long time and they aren't BAD they just arent what i asked for and are completely not my style.

help please💔

I applied to a job that outlined a specific starting pay and how their raises work year by year. In that same application it asked what my desired pay was and to put a whole number even their starting pay is not a whole number so I rounded up & I realized that the number was how much I would be paid after the first raise. I know I might be overthinking this but do you think that that decision would lessen my chance of getting hired? I googled it and it said yes but that just seems extreme but hey idk.. and I can’t go back remove/edit my submission ://

So basically I go to a tech school so I'm in one of the trade/shop, theres about 20 ish people in there including me and it feels like they're all friends with each other and I'm so incredibly envious. Last year I started off with no friends because it was a new school and I didn't make any friends for the first few months, because I was a quiet kid, kinda depressed and my mom had said I didn't have to stay there all 4 years of high school if I didn't want to, so I knew there was an out, so didn't try as hard to make friends but I still tried.

But I did end up making a few friends, and honestly I don't remember how, I just remembered talking to some people in December/January then in may/June they were my friends. I do remember how I became friends with one of them because it was so incredibly stressful and still effecting me today. But I digress the problem is my envy/me being frustrated at my inability to talk to people, also my one friend who's just randomly stopped talking to me, and I thought the problem was solved since I addressed the situation, we made up, but she went right back to not talking to me.

And the problem was that she asked this guy's friend for his friend's number, and she only did this because earlier in the year she asked if I thought anyone was cute and I said the guy who's number she was trying to get for me. She said she would try but I didn't believe she would actually be able to since apparently she couldn't, and my friends in the past never did anything for me like that. But one day she came up to me and said she that the night before she asked his friend for his number, and she didn't tell his friend why she wanted it just that she was 'trying to get it for a friend'. And I heard from eavesdropping he 'had an idea of who wanted his number' and I hate it when someone thinks I like them, and even if I do they don't need to know that.

So after I learned all that I was kinda freaking out because I was pretty overwhelmed, and later that day in school, she was teasing me about it and I told her 'I didn't wanna talk about it' and she said 'so what did I even do this for?' Or something along those lines and she kinda just shut down around me. I understood why she would say and act like that but I was still stressing the fuck out. Later than day after school, I got his number from her, since he gave it to her, I texted him smoothed things over with him and explained what happened, we became friends and for the last 2 days of school we played poker with a few other people. Also the last 2 days in school I didn't spend as much time with her but when I did she wasn't really talking to me and I asked her if it was because of the number thing and I wanted to make sure it wasn't, she said it wasn't, then after those 2 days summer started and we didn't text often since she usually takes days to respond to me.

Then this year started she wasn't really talking to me again, I texted her about it and apologized if she was mad at me about how I reacted, she said she wasn't mad at me about that and said we'd go back to normal. But we didn't. I ended up asking one of out mutual friends if she was mad at me, and what our mutual friend told me was that she thought I was mad at her about the number situation(which btw I'm not, I'm actually pretty happy she did, he's really fucking nice😭). I've tried to talk to her about it but she kept walking away so I just told one of our other mutual friends what our other friend told me and that I wasn't mad at her at all, and idk if she did. And honestly I really miss out friendship, idk what happened but it sucks knowing I lost a friend over such a stupid miscommunication. And I understand that teenage girls can be like this, but I think this is a little ridiculous.

The other thing is that I don't know how to become friends/be able to talk to the people in my shop, because everyone just talks to everyone so easily and the people in my shop are really nice too. I talk to them but not a lot. I don't wanna sound dramatic but I'm yearning to be able to talk to them but I don't know how to. Also theres this tension between me and the friend I made through that miscommunication so we don't talk in shop yet we text, and I've been trying to approach him but I don't know how and its so frustrating, because he so approachable. Plus for the past 4 ish years I've felt like the person who makes the duo a trio, as in the 'duo in the trio'. So now that I'm in an environment where I'm feeling like that everyday, its been horrible. The mix of envy, frustration and loneliness is horrible, and I don't let the enviousness make me do anything mean to my friends because I'm grateful for them so I wouldn't want to do anything to push them away so I just keep those feeling bottled up. Obviously those feelings come out one way or another ans its usually me spontaneously combusting into tears, and its happened 3 times already this year. And I really don't want that to continue to happen, I really wanna be able to become friends with the people in my shop but I really dont know how to. I know high school isn't typically a walk in the park but it shouldn't be so bad theres a 50/50 chance you'll cry over the smallest inconvenience, like onions not stinging your eyes like they usually do, because you're so tired of everything.