r/whatdoIdo

I've ruined my entire life at 22. I genuinely have no direction and have become so much more depressed the past few weeks. My final court date will come up in a couple weeks, I'm gonna have to spend 2-3 days in jail probably, 14 days at most, which isn't the worst I guess but I'm genuinely not built for that life. I'm a random guy from the suburbs. Within the last two months I've been put in handcuffs twice and brought to a station for my dumbass driving. I honestly do it just because it's the only way I can feel alive and feel happy.

My parents have somewhat disowned me, I never had too great of a relationship with them but we didn't have any major fights, just weren't that close emotionally and my parents always had a bad relationship. My dad grew up here, but my mom and both sides of my grandparents are immigrants and I basically come from an immigrant background so is rest of the family so everyone looks at me like I'm a horrible person.

It was literally driving/speeding related yet I'm being treated like a monster. My mugshot is on instagram and facebook and all I see is people in the comments on facebook talking about how I should be sent to jail for years, my friends have started acting different towards me, and I just feel that there's genuinely no point in trying or trying my best to even follow the rules anymore if I'm a lost cause, no company is gonna hire me, I can't get this expunged. I don't know what to do. Realizing now too no one is ever gonna wanna be in a relationship with a criminal too, and I always dreamed of having my own family one day. At least it's not a felony I guess? At this point it's the same thing though.

I applied for a job at the cvs pharmacy and was told to take a drug screen with labcorb. I took 2-3 hits of a borderline dead vape pen on either saturday or sunday. My appointment was on Wednesday at 1pm. Do you guys think it'll show up positive. Im not a constant smoker i rarely even do it. Im stressing and worried about not getting the job.

I'm doing an internship as a receptionist, and I started about three weeks ago. This afternoon my manager took me aside and told me that a client said I smelled bad. It was clear the client felt terribly guilty about saying something like that, and my manager was very kind while talking to me, which strangely made me feel even worse.

I'm so embarrassed. I've had problems with personal hygiene before, but I really thought I had gotten better recently. Now I keep thinking that all my coworkers might have been able to smell me while I was standing in front of them acting normal. And the idea that I might already be known as "the intern who smells bad" is seriously messing with my head.

Of course I'm going to fix the hygiene issue and be much more careful from now on. That's not the part I'm stuck on. I just don't know how I'm supposed to look anyone in the eye again without replaying every conversation, every weird pause, every time someone moved away from me, and so on.

If I didn't still have 10 months left on the contract, I would probably quit and never go back. The worst part is that I liked the job up until now, and the pay and benefits are good. I just have absolutely no idea how to go in tomorrow and act like a normal person after this happened.

I already reported that my son was showing signs of sexual abuse in March to the cops.
He was giving head to stuffed animals regularly and has been having panic attacks in the bath since 6 months old.

With the molestation suspicions and behaviors my son was having we kept explaining things away but more was happening.

My son kept trying to look under my skirt and put his face on my crotch. He kept trying to forcefully kiss me.

The real straw for me was truthfully my husband getting fully medicated around March and he remembered and shared additional signs he had of sexual abuse himself.

This led to additional suspicions surrounding his mother and grandmother which were two of the three suspects as they were the ones who bathe my son. (My son gets ear infections is what we always said he was scared of the bath)

One of the memories my husband uncovered was basically him doing the same behavior as my son when he was very little and remembering grandma like sort of groping him in the bath. She said “never let anyone do this and grabbed genitals”.

With that information and my father also being somewhat suspicious…. We cut the family off from watching him alone. I also accused all three family members that had bathed him to see their reactions.

All three reacted poorly.

The grandma is the only one who continues to pester us like talking to our kid is her crack and I’m tired of dealing with this grooming behavior all the time.

She keeps showing up to our home unannounced even though we told her not to show up. Also, lots of grooming behaviors like kissing my 3 year old son over and over and over in my face and won’t stop when my son is trying to get away. Won’t stop when I tell her to. Will use any excuse to undress him and got angry recently when I wouldn’t let her undress him. Tried to undress him without asking quickly in front of me. These undressing situations have all been after I accused everyone.

This lady works at the school with kids all day.

Is there a way to override this pedophile ass town and report through other channels? I am in Oklahoma.

Edit: Can’t get a restraining order we had a financial issue and it’s her son’s house we are living in. We are both in school and can move away in 6 months hopefully.

Hello, I previously posted about my situation here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/whatdoIdo/s/9Iok8rYIS7

And I want to give you guys an update. I did complete the Non invasive prenatal test to see if the child was mine, she did agree and I was in fact the biological father. However, I still couldn’t live or be in a relationship with her because I could no longer trust her. I waited for a good moment where she went to her aunty house, I sent her a text that she cannot come back and I will change the lock. This broke my heart til this day because I really care about her, but it had to be done. The next day, she sent me a heavy goodbye message of what she went through, the trauma, and the emotional damage I’ve caused to her by kicking her out. She also got an abortion and said her goodbye. She blocked me on all social media and phone number. I feel like crap like now and somehow wished I didn’t kick her out, but how would I be able to live with her? I would be second guessing myself every time she says something to me. But anyway, that’s the update of the relationship. I will go idle now, it’ll take me a long time to start dating again.

I’M 15 AND WAS I SHAVING BEFORE GOING OUT TO SEE MY GF AND I ACCIDENTALLY PUT THE ELECTRIC RAZOR ON A REALLY SENSITIVE PART AT THE TOP OF MY DICK SO I ACCIDENTALLY NICKED MYSELF AND NOW IT’S BLEEDING AND IT HURTS AND STINGS LIKE SHIT LIKE ABSOLUTE SHIT AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO HERE I TOLD MY BROTHER AND HE STARTED LAUGHING AT ME AND MY GF WONT KNOW WTF TO DO THATS WHY I MADE AN ACCOUNT HERE CAUSE I KNOW REDDIT IS FOR INFORMATION AND HELP AND SHIT CAUSE HOLY SHIT MY DICK STINGS LIKE A MF HOW DO I STOP IT

edit: OkOk i used sterline solution and rinsed my dick off with that and water for like 30 minutes straight and i took an advil and i feel a bit better it’s not bleeding no more just stings whenever i touch or move my dick

thank you men for your services 🫡

We’re both 26. I do love her, i really do. But i don’t know how to deal with the way she handles conflict.

On multiple occasions she’s insulted me. Genuinely has called me an idiot, an ugly piece of shit, a pussy. Not jokingly, with intent. She’s apologized but always with an asterisk. “I was drunk” or something.

Anyway, she also always does this thing where she will guilt or coerce me into doing something. For example, last weekend i told her we have to sit down and talk in person over this issue she was having. She sent me a long paragraph earlier that day and i said i hear you, but i just don’t want to have this convo over text, let’s please talk Saturday morning. I offered to take her out for coffee and we can discuss things. It’s not urgent stuff, just her “feelings” on things.

So she said she doesn’t want to do that, and that she doesn’t want to drag it out until the weekend. I said there’s nothing to drag out, it’s not hanging over our heads. It can be a normal productive conversation.

Instead, she called me 3 times while I’m at work, i pick up the phone after telling her i can’t talk and she continued to call me. She’s crying, accusing me of not caring. We have a long argument about it all, and i say “i have to go I’m hanging up” and she said “if you do that I’ll never talk to you again”. I kept trying to reason with her but genuinely my heart rate goes up, i feel nervous, like idk what she’s going to say. When she gets angry it’s genuinely insane. I’m not scared of her physically but the way she acts when she’s mad is crazy.

So i just cave to her demands. Every time. I’m meeting her tn when i have MAYBE 30 minutes of free time so that she doesn’t throw a fit. Maybe she’s right that im a pussy. But idk how to handle this. This isn’t asking what to do in this specific case. This type of thing happens so frequently. What do i do next time she does this exact thing? Like i Said, i do love her, and don’t want to lose her or end it.

I moved from my home country to here last year, my friend moved here the year before me and met her boyfriend before I arrived.

He is really not my kind of person - I feel very uncomfortable around him. Mainly (but not only) because, my friend is in her mid-twenties and he is in his late-fifties.

My parents and my brother have come over to visit me for the first time since I moved here - I am so happy they are here and my friend is too since my family has known her from when she was a baby so they are really close.

We've planned to go out for dinner in a couple days which will be the first and only time she sees them, and the last night I have with them before they fly home. My friend invited her boyfriend, including him in the plans and when talking about booking tables ("the six of us").

How do I communicate that I don't want her boyfriend to be there? I feel she will be different around him than without him, plus it's the final night I have with my family and don't know when I will next see them - I really don't want my last night with them to include this guy who makes me really uncomfortable and I anticipate will affect the whole evening.

I know I could just be blunt/upfront, but she is my and I am her only close friend here and do not want to jeopardise our friendship by offending her, is there a way to communicate this delicately?

So first of all, I understand I cannot post here forever but I truly want to share something new because I believe its relevant and many of you gave me advice. If this post is not OK, I will take it down

His assistant called me. She is an older lady who he trusts also on a personal level (she is the only assistant he ever had that he gets along with. the lady is in her early 60s, close to retirement). She called me and said she is aware she is risking her job but she cares for him and wants me to know he needs help. First of all she told me what I already knew ( he is on antidepressants) but many more. He cancelled many of his meetings or simply asked one of his trusted direct reports to represent him because he was having panic attacks and also would say something she didn't understand because it was in Russian. he wasn't talking to her. he had his hands covering his face and when she put her hand on his shoulder he would jump like he got scared or felt in danger.

she also said she caught him once. (she should have been on her lunch break) he had on his phone a photo of a little boy. but it looked like a real old photo. she didn't see very well as she was behind him but heard him sobbing and walked out. he never knew she heard that and later that day he showed her the photo and said thats him. but he was already in a good mood.

the reason she called me is that she is also worried with these many days off and she said he has 2 extremes at work: either he doesn't care about anything and doesn't do anything, doesn't take calls, declined meeting invitations and so on, even fights and yells at people all the time which brought him 3 HR reports already (he called a 22 years old woman a stoopid barbie and she reported him - well it was brave to be honest, as he is the VP)

I did not tell him anything about this as I don't want to put her job at risk, but I decided to give it another try if he wants to too. I told him I can go to therapy with him and also I am willing to take our children too. they need to know about his past and I apologised for not really allowing him to talk about himself. And he told me its fine, he is not mad at me or at anyone. OK, so therapy? and he said no, he just wants to deal with it himself. SO I don't know what to do, but I begegd him to not go to that place, not alone and not now. he is too vulnerable. and he said he survived it when he was way more vulnerable.

tl dr original post:

my husband grew up in an orphanage with hundreds other children in an ex communist bloc country. he was SA-ed multiple times at 6 by a guardian. kids were mistreated, fed barely edible food and kept in cold, sometimes showered with cold water (husband now only showers or baths in extremely hot water and the temperature in our house during winters is almost too much for me and our kids, but he is cold all the time). his mother was 15 when had him (she used to sleep with soldiers so he has no idea who his father is, but she was also an orphan so complex dynamic) and this woman he reconnected with is his first girlfriend. they met in the orphanage and were separated 2 times (moved to different places and lost touch). he cried when he saw her now after more than 2 decades and hugged her like he never does with me or our kids. he is now doing great as a senior VP of a company

I was laid off yesterday from my engineering job (hardware/embedded firmware). This is the first time I've been let go in my 37-year career. I was lucky and my career had been stable and strong, but now I find myself entering the job market at 59 years old.

I can't say I'm excited about the LinkedIn nightmare I'm heading into. I have 10 weeks of severance, so I'm going to take a short break to get my head straight before I start applying and dealing with recruiters.

I've read a lot of posts here over the past few months, and it looks like I've officially become one of you and am joining you in solidarity.

So I have a wedding (well just after party) to go to on Sunday and my ac in my car just went out.Temps are hitting record highs where I live and a 40 minute drive would absolutely be dreadful with no air! She is a very close friend but didnt even have me apart of her wedding at all or even the ceremony so I was on the fence about going in the first place but I decided to just suck it up , but is this just my sign just not to go?or would it be rude and I should just go? (I’ve been friends with her for years and then she talked to me about a coworker being her bridesmaid and not me after one of them flaked😛)

Im 23 (M), I know this girl 22 (F) for 3 years I guess, we ended becoming best friends the first day we met. At first I really liked her as a friend, she was like my twin soul, bonding on things we both liked, shared and the way we think, at the time she had a boyfriend so I didnt think much of it and some time after I started dating another girl. She broke up with her boyfriend, I was dating and didnt give much time to be with my best friend.

Eventually she started dating aswell and to this day she is with that guy still, terrific guy btw. Even when we were dating, when we were together we just shined, we like to be with each other alot and we play with each other in a way my gf at the time and her bf would be jealous. I get it. Now im single, my ex didnt like the way she would talk or look at me and I get it but I think I like her for a good while now. I have been in a rut lately and she was always my rock, we were always there for each other. Lately we would talk more and more about how we find each other attractive and that we are so compatible even in personality, we even playfully flirt most of the time and we admitted to each other that if neither were dating that it would be hard to control and not go he next step, but when one was single the other was not. But she says even if she was single she is afraid of dating me because if things didnt go well she would be afraid of losing me forever. I can understand to some degree but we only have on life.. if we were both single I would risk it. Even my family members and friends of ours would ask me if there was something going on between us or asking why we arent together when we met and when she was single.

She is loyal to her bf and I respect their relationship and we are still friends but I cant stop feeling like this and by her tone and the way she acts around me (always grabbing me, hugging my arm, kissing sometimes my neck, sitting next to me but faced to me and leaning on my shoulder and etc..) I think she feels the same way. Should I just go no contact for a good while? She is the only one who understands me fully but I dont want to ruin their relationship.

My next door neighbor has two dogs that are super aggressive and untrained. They bark for hours, every single day. One of them bit my husband on the thigh when he went around to speak to the neighbor, this left a bruise (he didn't tell the neighbor as he was trying to establish good relations with these people). When I went round there, the owner told me to put my hands behind my back "because they'll bite you if you don't".

Just yesterday my across the street neighbor told me that while we were on vacation, one of these dogs attacked the owner's elderly mom, biting her finger to the bone (this nice neighbor is a nurse, she bandaged her up and sent her to the ER for stitches). A few days before that the dogs got out of the house and tried to attack another elderly woman who was walking a small dog on our street. The owner saw this happen, and offered to pay for any damage to the woman and her dog (SMH).

My kids don't like to play in our own backyard as every time they do, these gross dogs bark and growl at them, pressing their noses against our fence (I'm really scared that they'll find a way through the fence one day).

Living next to these beasts feels like a total liability. I feel like I am waiting for them to die--frankly, they should have been euthanized a long time ago. The barking alone has a major impact on my quality of life as I WFH. These neighbors are very wealthy so they could have afforded training, but now they've attacked humans I feel like it's too late. If I call the police or animal control they will know it's me and it will be hugely awkward, forever (my kid is in the same class as their kid) and we all know how crazy dog people can be. WWYD?

We have been together for four years but have only lived together for a few months. We sleep in separate bedrooms because I am very sensitive to noise and am a really light sleeper. His room is disgusting. I went in to see why it smelt bad and opened a drawer. There was a mug of pee in there. I actually have no idea what to do because I was snooping. I find it so disgusting and am not sure how to handle this.