I’m scared of my girlfriend
We’re both 26. I do love her, i really do. But i don’t know how to deal with the way she handles conflict.
On multiple occasions she’s insulted me. Genuinely has called me an idiot, an ugly piece of shit, a pussy. Not jokingly, with intent. She’s apologized but always with an asterisk. “I was drunk” or something.
Anyway, she also always does this thing where she will guilt or coerce me into doing something. For example, last weekend i told her we have to sit down and talk in person over this issue she was having. She sent me a long paragraph earlier that day and i said i hear you, but i just don’t want to have this convo over text, let’s please talk Saturday morning. I offered to take her out for coffee and we can discuss things. It’s not urgent stuff, just her “feelings” on things.
So she said she doesn’t want to do that, and that she doesn’t want to drag it out until the weekend. I said there’s nothing to drag out, it’s not hanging over our heads. It can be a normal productive conversation.
Instead, she called me 3 times while I’m at work, i pick up the phone after telling her i can’t talk and she continued to call me. She’s crying, accusing me of not caring. We have a long argument about it all, and i say “i have to go I’m hanging up” and she said “if you do that I’ll never talk to you again”. I kept trying to reason with her but genuinely my heart rate goes up, i feel nervous, like idk what she’s going to say. When she gets angry it’s genuinely insane. I’m not scared of her physically but the way she acts when she’s mad is crazy.
So i just cave to her demands. Every time. I’m meeting her tn when i have MAYBE 30 minutes of free time so that she doesn’t throw a fit. Maybe she’s right that im a pussy. But idk how to handle this. This isn’t asking what to do in this specific case. This type of thing happens so frequently. What do i do next time she does this exact thing? Like i Said, i do love her, and don’t want to lose her or end it.