r/muslimgirlswithtaste

Does anyone else have them?? The guy I’m speaking to, it takes everything in me not to fight him 24/7 over how jealous I am over everything

Hi sisters,
I’m a young Muslim woman, and lately I’ve been thinking a lot about marriage. I really want to get married one day, but there’s something that’s been on my mind.
How do you know if you’re considered attractive enough for marriage if you’ve never really had people approach you? I’ve never really been complimented on my looks, and as far as I know, no one has ever expressed interest in me. I know I’m not hideous, but sometimes I genuinely wonder if I’m just unattractive. For context I usually dress really modest in long abayas. I usually go to school and work most of the time.
Sometimes I even wonder if anyone has ever had a crush on me, even for a second. (I’m not counting random older men that doesn’t really mean anything to me.)
For those of you who have felt this way before, how did you deal with it? Is it normal not to be approached? Does it actually say anything about your appearance, or are there other reasons? Especially as Muslim women, I know people don’t always express interest openly, so I’m curious what your experiences have been.
I’d really appreciate any advice or perspective. Jazakum Allahu khayran. 🤍

Hi so recently I read that most of you have used ipl and saw positive results. I have brown skin tone and have started getting thick hair on my chin area. I've been looking for ways to get rid of them. Did any one of you try it on brown skin? And what were the results? As internet says that it can cause burns and hyperpigmentation on brown skin and damage it. And what are other things (treatments, creams etc) can I use to prevent them. JazakAllah.

Salaaam everyone !

Girls - on a serious note, how do you reset your brain to LOVE studying again? I have this deep desire to get lost into wanting to study the creations of Allah as I am a STEM postgrad but I’ve literally numbed my brain from using excessive AI. i can’t even type a paragraph without making it sound perfect through chatgpt. i feel incredibly guilty and upset that why have i lost my spark in studying and i find not using AI to be so laborious now (astaghfurillah believe me i hate feeling so lethargic this way)

any tips on how to get my brain back from the trenches of this dystopian mess? i so want to get back into real learning than depending on AI for everything. i hate it with my heart but i can’t stop myself! i want to learn, make mistakes but get lost into getting the concepts right a million times before running to sheikh chatgpt 😭😭 help a girl out. i have been getting back into reading fiction. that always seems to wake the writer in me but i’m not doing enough wallahh

Alsoo i do use chatgpt as an assistant than a maid to do all my work. but i don’t want to do that either. i want to be a scholar of life!

Salam alaikum. I'm 18F interested in an almost 21M. I don't know if I should tell my family about my feelings to them to talk to his family in order to start to know each other for marriage. I don't want to have a talking stage if I still don't know if I am prepared to get married, hope you understand. In which stage of your life have you started to look seriously for marriage? How did you know that it was your time? Jazakum allah khair

I (23F) graduated college last year and started working in tech. I currently live with my mom (52), step dad (43), and my older sister (25) in the US. My mom works 4 days a week, 11 hours a day, on her feet at a packaging factory. It’s hard work and I can see how it wears out her body. My step dad also works 3 days in another factory currently.

I have a condition that I’m planning surgeries for so I’m aggressively saving as I’ll be immobile for at least 6 months. I’m also paying off my loans and helping my mom with a couple hundred bucks a month. In addition to that, I cook for my family when I can, and do my best to help out in other ways.

I’m just at a crossroads regarding what to do. My sister doesn’t really contribute much as she has a shaky relationship with my mom and step dad, so I feel like the responsibility is now on me to take care of them entirely. I genuinely feel overburdened and like I’m a horrible person for not being able to help much. I really want to save up for my surgeries because I can feel my own body failing me, and if I don’t have these surgeries soon, the doctor said I’ll develop severe arthritis and will not be able to walk in my 30’s. Is it wrong to want to put myself first, take care of my loans, and then retire my mom? Will I go to hell for this?

Salam alaikum ladies! I am trying to read more. Previously, I read about 60% of the book Secrets of Divine Love by A Helwa. I remember the first chapter was a bit dense and unfulfilling, but after that I enjoyed it a lot and it really helped me with my relationship with Allah. Now, I know A Helwa is a Sufi and some people have a problem with her book, but I believe we are perfectly capable of extracting the good from this book, as I have previously. I never finished it because I had to return it to the library but I just bought my own copy and I would love to discuss it with some sisters (maybe like one chapter per week and we can have a zoom meeting to discuss?) Please let me knowwwww 🫶🏻

Salamu alaikum my fellow sisters ,
ive been struggling with faith lately and , Allah forgive me , but my heart doesnt respond well to male scholars especially the harsh ones
so please can you recommend me some soft spoken and trustworthy female scholars 🥹
Thank you all in advance

This feels niche as I haven’t seen other Muslim girls talk about it but it so spiritually draining dealing with this.
I’ve read so many fiqh about this but it doesn’t alleviate the burden of it.

Having to clean yourself and renew your whudu for each salah even if you just did whudu. Also meaning you can’t prepare for salah in advance. Worrying about how I’m going to pray when I’m outside.

Blood tests and ultrasounds all come back normal so don’t know what’s causing it. I wouldn’t even care if it wasn’t for the fact that it affects me spiritually and the doctors don’t understand that.

It makes practising feel like such a burden and I’m so tired of it. I’ve never seen other sisters talk about this and it feels so lonely.

Thank you for taking the time to read this

I’m 18 years old, and I have been wearing the hijab since I was 3 years old, not by my own choosing. As I’m leaving my teenage years I’ve thought more and more about how I don’t want to wear the hijab and how I don’t want to be restricted to religious rules because i don’t feel that religion is important in my life

I briefly spoke to me parents about hypothetically taking it off and they said they would kick me out if I did so that means I have to do it in secret which is going to be so hard especially with where I live I would have to be extra cautious to not get caught. And honestly I don’t know if all that anxiety and worry is worth the freedom of me being able to dress how I want to. But I so badly don’t want to wear it anymore. I just wish it was easier for me. One of my best friends wore the hijab for a couple months after Ramadan but has now taken it off and her parents don’t mind, it’s always been a choice for her and I’m extremely jealous 😓.

If anyone has been or is currently in a similar position to me I’d love to talk of get some advice <333

Salam my fellow sisters, I am a masters student who got an opportunity to do my final semester research work in Tunisia. Any sisters from Tunisia who can help with the questions. I would be so grateful!!

I (23yrs) feel like I’m never gonna get married because I’m never gonna find my type. alhamdulilah im super religious, and I get a lot of guys proposing and they’re all really good people with great careers but they’re just not religious enough.

I dont watch movies, listen to music, wear make up or perfume outside, im constantly trying to learn new things in the deen, etc. and i need a spouse whos on the same page.

A lot of the men i meet love this about me and say theyre also trying and want a women to help but i dont want to help. It makes me feel like the leader (masculine) and it just doesnt feel good to constantly be the one saying this is haram/lets fast together/lets watch lectures etc because I want the man to initiate.

It feels like im either gonna have to accept this or just stop meeting people and decide to never get married (just focus on my deen) because the process is really tiring and its the same disappointment every time.

Edit: this a rant post. Im not opening a door for men to dm me marriage offerings. And thank you to all understanding girlies and the ones with advice <3 couldn’t reply to everyone

Salam sisters!
Alhamdulillah I became a Muslim almost 3 months ago. I’ve been so happy, I’m very very happy I made this decision.
But I’m struggling with the 5 prayers and idk how to get better.

I take Arabic/basic Islamic classes with my local Imam and we’re just finishing Al Fatiha, Monday we’ll practice the last line. I like praying, when I’m there in the moment, but it’s a huge routine change for me.
I was “catholic” before but spent the last 8 years I think, without praying. Like at all. I didn’t even consider myself a catholic for the majority of the time.
So going from 0 praying (even as a catholic) to 5x a day is overwhelming. Tbh even once a day I struggle.

I can’t wake up for Fajr, then for the 2 next ones I’m at work, where nobody knows I’m a Muslim. Then Maghrib and Isha I’m just… too tired or lazy. Doing wudu is a struggle also.
Some days I’m able to do Asr, Maghrib and Isha. I’ve never done Fajr.

Anyways, I know we shouldn’t air out our harams lol but I want help and advice on how to navigate this. I make dua and ask for Allah swt to make it easy for me to pray but I understand I also have to try harder, and I’m not trying.

I also want to make a habit of saying Bismillah before eating and other things but again, it’s something so simple yet so hard to do/make a habit of.

If anyone has ideas and tips and advices, please share them with me.

May Allah swt bless each and every one of you!

As the title says, and as silly as it sounds i can’t tell if i like this guy i’m talking to (for marriage purposes) enough to be my husband.

I do like him he’s decently attractive, we have good conversations, he’s nice, we get on well and can hang out, same ish religious levels, he’s chill etc and like it’s all fine just normal.

But i get on well with everyone, could talk to a dry well and get on ygm so i just can’t tell if i get on well with him because of his own merit or because that’s just my personality. Idk if i’m over complicating this but i feel like i should feel something more.

I also don’t understand what takes it to the next level like okay i get on well with this guy he’s a good friend you can say but what differentiates a friend from a potential husband.

Help a girl out please!

I’m a 32-year-old F , and I’m feeling really confused and would appreciate some honest advice.
I’ve known the man I’m planning to marry for about two years. Our families have met, and our wedding is planned for October.
Throughout our relationship, he has always come across as honest and transparent. He’s shared his struggles and vulnerabilities with me, which made me trust him even more.
Early on, I asked him about his past relationships with women. He told me there was nothing significant, and I didn’t ask any further questions.
A few days ago, we were having a conversation, and I mentioned that marrying someone who had been intimate before marriage would be a very big issue for me personally. He went quiet, and a few days later he admitted that he had been intimate with someone about six years ago.
When I asked why he didn’t tell me when I first asked, he said that in Islam we’re encouraged not to expose our past sins, and that’s why he didn’t disclose it. He said that once he realized this was a major issue and a potential dealbreaker for me, he felt he had to be honest.
Now I’m struggling with a lot of emotions. I’m shocked, hurt, and confused. Part of me understands his reasoning, but another part feels like I wasn’t given the information I needed when I asked directly. I keep wondering whether this was dishonesty or whether he was genuinely trying to follow Islamic teachings.
I don’t know if I’m more upset about his past or about the fact that I only found out after two years, when we’re so close to getting married.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? If you were in my position, would you continue with the wedding or step back? I’d really appreciate respectful advice, especially from people who understand both the Islamic perspective and the importance of trust in a marriage.

ASA Ladies,

I have been HIjabi for many years, since about age 13, I am almost 29. Since I was about 14, my default option for outfits was "long shirts" ( a top that is long enough to cover the hips/bottom, or hit at might thigh) and pants that were loose-ish ie not skinny jeans but typical jeans or chinos ie fitted on the thigh loose on the bottom leg. Most of them were these stretchy rayon tunics I'd get from JJill, not the most fashionable. The others were basically short dresses back when longsleeves/short skirt dresses were easy to find. Kind of like a Western version of Shalwar Kameez.

I'd literally been thinking of adding long skirts to my rotation for like 6 years. That way I can do a "regular " shirt and still cover my bottom/hips/thighs. Additionally, covering the shape of my legs is a nice bonus. They also look so much more pretty and feminine.

I guess the reason I had been dragging my feet was thinking that I would find the double layer of fabric on my legs hot/uncomfortable (as us Hijiabis generally wear a layer to cover our legs under the skirt, of course), and that I am not graceful enough to move in one without making a fool of myself ie tripping or not being able to climb stairs. I have not given up pants, I have simply been wearing them less.

I have found that they are surprisingly easy to move in. To the point where if I wore a skirt a couple of inches above my ankle, and it had ample wiggle room and some flexible fabric, that I think I could even run in one. My modest athletic wear is basically cotton athletic pants and a simple cotton kurta, so basically shalwar kameez. I feel like a long athletic skirt would be even more modest. Apparently, these do exist.

Have any of you ladies worn long athletic skirts? Are they easy to move in? Can you run in them?