r/nocontact

Hi.

Bit of a backstory: 2 years ago after catching my ex (now 43 male) in a lie he ghosted me and after receiving hundres of calls and texts from me he blocked me (now 33 female). Blocking was normal for us and he would always expect me to find ways around it and text him on different messengers. It was a classic push & pull dynamic - threaten to break up, block, I come begging, we make up. He expected me to do the same this time but I didn't for the first time in two years (that's how long we were together for).

I never caved for two years of no contact, I held strong even though I was dying inside. I was severely depressed, stopped going out, due to constant stress I developed major health problems, for a whole year I cried every day but I never messaged him and never responded to his indirect hints, which there were many.

He would "talk" to me through his steam profile. We are both into games and we would use Steam daily to play together, so it was kind of our thing, our profiles matched etc. In his Steam bio he would write statuses like "See, it's way better without me" or "what are you doing not drawing?" (I quit doing art cuz of my depression) etc. He also kept a drawing I made for him as his Steam profile pic, my name in his username and my comments all over his wall.

Last year on my birthday (8 months after NC) he posted "happy bday" on his own steam wall and he unblocked me on the app we primarily used for talking (his birthday gift for me I guess). He obviously expected me to stalk his account. I didn't stalk his page, I saw it because you get automatically subbed to the updates of the person's wall if you commented on it before, so I got a notif. I cried, but I didn't react. He would watch all of my stories on tg too. He would stalk my online on various apps that he normally doesn't use.

Fastforward to today. It was my birthday a week ago and this time he yet again texted "happy bday" on his steam wall. I was frustrated because of all of this non direct communication and lack of closure, and I really haven't been able to fully let him go, so I decided to text him. During these 2 years of NC I have changed and grew a lot as a person, I was in therapy and I learned so much about myself and my attachment style, so I was hoping that after two years apart he would also be changed and grown and maybe we could catch up, have a mature conversation in order to get closure and not have any bad blood between us.

I decided to use telegram because that's where he would constantly watch my stories and log on every day to check my online.

So after my birthday I broke NC and said: "Hello. I saw your Steam posts. It's been a long time. If you want to talk, let me know"

And guess what? Yeah right, nothing. He happily ignored my text. He got what he wanted, the confirmation that I still think about him and want to talk to him, and he ghosted me yet again. That's probably all he wanted, to be the winner in this (he always tried to "win" in all of our arguments). He couldn't handle the fact that I didn't chase him, didn't beg or plead like I always did before, and his little ego was shattered. But the moment I sent him that message, he finally felt liberated. It's been a week since my birthday. He never logged into telegram ever again, even though he used to check it every day before my text.

So that's another lesson on this subreddit for you to not break no contact. Ever. Now I am absolutely crushed. It feels like I'm back to square one. Every day I wake up with severe anxiety and I feel nauseous. It feels like no time has passed since I left two years ago. Like all the work I have done on myself is gone. Two years of tears, beating myself up, blaming myself. Two years of hard work on my mental health and self esteem. I cry every day and I am so disappointed. I really expected that we would just have a conversation like old friends. He was my best friend. What was the point of all the indirect signs? Of talking to me through his steam? Of stalking me? He just wanted to hurt me. Now I understand that he never wanted me back and it was just all about his shattered ego. It was never about me. I feel so broken and I realise that I never mattered, he never really loved me, it was always just about himself

After six years of a deep and constant relationship, sharing every single day with each other, growing up together, supporting one another through the good and bad times, watching each other glow up, sending random texts throughout the day, good morning and good night messages, constant check-ins, sharing photos and videos, making each other laugh and smile, couldshe suddenly became cold without any explanation.

She started ghosting me. For almost two weeks, I heard nothing. When I finally asked why, she simply said this is not what she wants anymore. I decided to pull away almost three weeks ago, and until now, I still don’t understand why. I guess I’ll never truly know why she gave up on everything we had.

Today is her birthday. For the first time in six years, I’m not there to celebrate with her. I won’t be buying her flowers or the things I know she loves. I won’t get to see that genuine smile on her face.

I truly believe life goes on no matter what, but I always wished I would spend it with her. I guess it is what it is, you can’t force someone to stay.

I miss her with every part of my heart, and right now, it really aches.

so for context i’ve known this guy (we’ll call him bryce for the story) since about october 2025, we were in a talking stage situationship type thing until about april 2026 and it ended because he unadded me saying i seemed not into him and that i was over him and i left it alone because i was really upset and didn’t want to worsen the situation. during our talking stage he basically lead me on the entire time, said i love you, slept on the phone, basically what you would do in a relationship. every time i brought up commitment it lead back to “im not ready for a relationship” or some bullshit about the distance (2 hours and i’ve offered to pay for gas or even go to him) so it lead nowhere basically. last time i spoke to him was april 17th about 2 weeks after my birthday and i was honestly too drained to do anything but accept it. i’d never blocked him and he’d never blocked me, i kept him added on snapchat just to show myself i wasn’t crazy and didn’t imagine it (our saved in chats were videos of him saying i love you and complimenting me). july 4th 2026 (literally a couple of days ago) he texted me on spotify, i was really shocked because first it was just some random corny meme and second because i didn’t expect to be in contact ever again, i replied being really confused and as i was typing he added me back on snapchat. the first thing he said was flirty and he kept saying he was free and anytime i had asked from what he was shady about it and replied saying you know, i assumed it was the relationship he was in previously because it felt implied and he was being flirty. i basically told him we could be friends but nothing more because of how i was treated previously, he was a little whiny about it but then was fine. we’ve been snapping back and forth for a bit since then but i went to go check instagram yesterday and i’m blocked by him (which was weird because i hadn’t been blocked even when we were on bad terms) so i went on a family members phone and checked and his post with his girlfriend was still up. i was really confused and honestly felt super weird about it so i texted him tonight asking if they were still together and he said yes and that’s why were only friends but i feel crazy because he was flirty when he readded me and implied a breakup. am i crazy??? i don’t know this whole situation is honestly making me feel really upset especially because i really liked him during our talking stage and he thought he could come back and be shady and it’d be fine

Long Story Short- Me any my ex ended things a few months ago (End of april) over a night of angry drunk arguments. I quit drinking and tried everything I could to prove to him that we could fix this. He told me numerous times that it is over and he nolonger wants to keep contact. FFW a month or so in, I texted him this paragraph that I was angry that he led me on for a week, actually getting closer to me and bringing up more and more things he wanted to try and do together, to then just tell me that well never see eachother again on a thursday night. I shouldnt have sent him the text, but I did, and in it i borught up mailing back all the things he gave me to keep for memories. His reply was, "do not mail me anything. I will file a report. do not text me again. do not speak to me ever again." Fine, I wont. ffw a month and a half, and a random account on snapchat, named "Travis" added me, send a random ceiling snap (not in my exes room) and when I asked who it was (as my snap is not public knowledge, and the person would need to have my phone number, or my spacific snap username, to find me), they just sent back my exes name, "Ixx", (not revealing his name). I sent a shit ton of messages back asking if they were my ex, or my exes new boyfriend, or what they wanted. They went completely offline for a few days, then came back and read all my messages, and never sent anything else. Who could this be? Could it be my new exes boyfriend for some reason? The account was fairly established, with a bitmoji and a snapscore of 30.

This is an update to my previous post about my girl I used to talk to tagging me in an apology post after 49 weeks of no contact. A lot of people said it sounded like she was looking for closure, and honestly, I thought the same.

Well... things got a little weirder today.

She first deleted the tag/comment on that apology post around 9:00 PM. I figured that was the end of it and maybe she had changed her mind.

Then, around 9:45 PM, I got a DM from her saying:

"Bro... How do you not miss me?"

I haven't replied yet

Now I'm even more confused than I was earlier. If she wanted closure, why delete the apology and then message me that? If she didn't want to talk, why reach out at all? And if she did want to reconnect, why start with "Bro" and then ask such an emotional question?

For context, I still haven't contacted her once during these 49 weeks. Every interaction today the apology post, deleting it, and the DM was initiated by her.

I'm trying not to read too much into it, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't catch me off guard.

What would you make of this? Is this someone testing the waters, acting on impulse, or just having a moment of nostalgia? And if you were me, would you respond or leave it alone?

I can't attach the screenshot here

For context: we've been together for 3 years and 5 months. And just last May, we broke up. We've kept contact until today June 5. But i told her how i feel i told her sometimes i felt confused with the sudden push-pull dynamics we have. But i was the reason we broke up, i got too controlling too insecure for months since last year, and she got tired of it. She lost herself in the process of trying to adjust on my needs and insecurities. Then today we've talked about our setup and I may have said something in a way that i don't mean to, which i understand why it might've come off, so in the end she told me to let's stop our setup. She told me to stop begging to maintain our friendship, and social media following. I didn't beg i respectfully accepted it. But the real question is, how do i move on? How do i keep moving forward? What do i do now? It feels unbearable to not reach for her when i subconsciously do. Please help me. I respect her and i dont wanna smother her. How do i get better? What are the things I can do now?

Him and I are friends. 2 years ago, he approached me because he liked me. I do not want to be in a relationship because it really is not practical bc strict parents. So we remained friends. He never asked mento be his girlfriend because he knew I wouldn't say yes. He let me know he liked me and continued to maintain a fun friendship. Eventually I thought about how this would turn out in the future,that I may be giving him fake hope and starting treating him very rudely and not updating each other about our daily lives like we used to. We occasionally would get into huge fights and make up. We go on long breaks between fights but it normally went away in some days. This whole year, the total days we've talked maybe 7 days because I treated him so bad our fight were very frequent. The latest argument we had was in May and we haven't talked since. I don't know I really miss him right now. I want him to text me. But last time when he said he'll try to not text again, I said please try hard. Ik that was harsh but I think I love him. Ik it's not possible for us to be together maybe but at the moment I really really miss him. I've started to develop feelings maybe? i dont know???😭

Its been a week since we broke up and it was very harsh. Two days later our no contact ended and she said we can just be friends. I bought tickets beforehand to a concert so we have to go since I cannot refund it. Should I make a move or just get through night and end it permanently because im not an idiot and dont wanna be friends with her. I also will be picking her up and wanted to take flowers but I just want to try atleast.

Recently, I got dumped by my gf and have been on this Reddit since then. The breakup was because she thinks that there are compatibility issues and it will not work in the future. But I was willing to change (in fact, I changed a lot to maintain the relationship). She was not willing to change and said "I won't change for anyone, if you want to stay then fine, or else you can leave". At that moment, I was very frustrated, and I told her that I didn't want to stay either. However, the next day I realised my mistake and went to apologise for it. By that time, she had already made up her mind that she couldn't get back together. And told that we can be friends, which I denied. She came for a hug, but I pushed her away and left in anger!

It has been 3 months now, with 1 month of no contact at the start. But before going into NC, I begged a lot to give me one chance and to meet me once. After 1 month of NC I decided to text her to meet again, she denied and that day we talked on call for around 2 hours. Where I apologised and took full accountability for my mistakes, but she didn't care about it. She kept screaming at me, saying "I don't want to ever see you again", "I have tolerated too much disrespect", "I don't even want your gaze on me". That broke me even more. And this was the day before our common friend's birthday party, where we both were invited. When I reached she was already there, and she acted like I never existed in her life. She showed that nothing had happened. She was laughing, talking to everyone, and I was just sitting in the corner holding my tears. But I couldn't hold it for long and went to the washroom and cried. And when I came back, she had already left. 2 days later again I saw her in a party, where I didn't expect her to come. Again, she kept ignoring me and even my friends. I saw one guy coming close to her, and I was about to go near her, but my friend stopped me and he went instead. She told him, "Please ask him(me) to stop looking at me, he looks creepy". That thing has been bothering me ever since. Later, after 10 days, I texted her saying that I have accepted the fact that we are not together, but there's a lot of misunderstanding, and I want to end it on a good note. Suggested her to meet for one last time. But got left on seen. And now it's been almost a month after that text. I am not able to cope with it as it was my first ever relationship. Every day, when I wake up, the first thought that comes to my mind is of her.

She is the kind of person who would never change her decision, even if she wants to. She is very stubborn. Whatever I do, I can't change her mind. And, I thought of texting again, but I know the outcome would be same, so I'm holding myself. I still think that the issues could be solved if we communicate properly. However, deep down I know she wouldn't ever come back to me. I don't know how to deal with it. I was very nice to her during our relationship and treated her very well, but sometimes I let my ego take over my emotions and acted rudely. I'm just scared that she doesn't end up with a weirdo cuz she has been in the past.

A month ago, I sent him a lot of messages, but he never replied. Since then, we've had no contact. Should I just leave it up to him now, or is it okay for me to reach out at some point?

I’ve told you guys a synopsis of my NPE story, and I appreciate the support. I have decided to cease any and all contact with my mother and her other children. Anyone in the family can get it at this point.
My mother has done nothing to help me work through the trauma that she caused. Now, my oldest daughter is being affected by her narcissistic behaviors.

Most of my family looks up to my mom. I have no idea why. But nevertheless, they do. So when she and I went through the daddy reveal when I was almost 45, she wanted me to keep the secret. I was an emotional wreck after her 4-minute call. Alone at home with an 18-month-old. I thank God for bringing my youngest through one of my roughest times. I’m a veteran with diagnosed severe PTSD and spinal issues.
So I shut down to the outside world so I could be there mentally for my college student and my toddler. This is when she started calling family and friends saying, “She won’t talk to me. I don’t know what’s going on with her.” And family (not knowing why) told her to forget about me, don’t let your children stress you out. They never knew why I wasn’t talking to her, and they didn’t want to hear it from me. When I told a few family members, they would always remind me that people hid stuff.
Now my oldest daughter is catching strays from the family. They don’t communicate with her because they don’t communicate with me. Graveside at my nephew’s funeral, my mother’s youngest sister speaks to everyone but my daughters… and me. I addressed it with my mother, but I knew what that was. So I’m out. I refuse to subject my family to this level of manipulation and dysfunction. When all I’ve wanted was a conversation and for her to be honest to all parties involved.
She’s already started calling friends and family making them think I’m having a psychotic breakdown. She wants sympathy. Next she will have someone call me from a hospital. Like she’s dying from a panic attack. After that, she’ll try using money to lure me closer. Nothing will work. The difference is this time I’m telling everything to anyone that calls me. Everything to everyone hits her where it hurts; truth hurts a lie. Sorry for rambling. Thank you for reading.

My ex and I are both 17. We dated for about a year and it was the first serious relationship for both of us. He was my first boyfriend, my first sexual partner, I met his family, we went on trips together, and we built a really strong connection. Throughout the relationship he constantly told me I was the person he had loved the most, that he had never met anyone like me, that he wanted to marry me, and that he had never felt such a deep connection with anyone before.
During the relationship, however, he would sometimes tell me he felt confused and had doubts. Eventually he broke up with me.
About a week after the breakup we started talking again and got closer, but nothing really came from it. Some time later we reconnected again, this time much more seriously. We went on several dates, spent a lot of time together, became intimate again, and honestly it almost felt like we were back together.
The strange part was that whenever we were together in person, everything felt perfect. He was affectionate, loving, playful and genuinely happy to be with me. It honestly felt like he was completely in love with me whenever we were together.
However, as soon as we went home, everything changed. He became distant, texted less, almost disappeared, and told me he still didn’t know what he wanted. It was as if he could only enjoy the relationship while we were physically together, but once he was alone, all of his doubts returned and he pulled away again. This pattern happened more than once.
A few days ago I called him because I didn’t want to lose our connection completely, and we ended up having a serious conversation.
He told me that right now he doesn’t think we can be friends because there are still feelings on both sides. He said that if we keep talking, it creates false hope for both of us, not just for me. He also said we need time to get used to things as they are and learn to see each other differently because we were never just friends. At one point he even said something like, “I don’t randomly call my female friends to check if they’re okay, so it would feel weird.”
He wasn’t rude and he never said he never wanted to see me again. He just said that, at least for now, he thinks distance is the healthiest option.
Ironically, today he texted me first asking if I was okay. We had a short, normal conversation about football and our day. I asked him a couple of questions back, but then he stopped replying. That left me even more confused because I don’t understand why he reaches out, starts a conversation and then disappears.
I’m still deeply in love with him and I’m torn. Part of me feels like our story isn’t really over because he admitted there are still feelings on both sides, and because every time we’ve taken space before, we’ve somehow found our way back to each other. Another part of me is scared that I’m just holding onto hope.
My question is: how would you interpret this behavior? How can someone seem so happy, loving and connected when we’re together in person, but then go home, become distant and question the relationship again? And how would you interpret him reaching out to check on me, only to disappear again during the conversation? Does this sound like someone who is genuinely confused and needs space, or someone who has already made up his mind but is trying to let me down gently?

Hey everyone so i dated this girl for like 1 year 5 months we broke up like two months ago she was a virgin right? we’ve slept together so many times i can’t count and we also slept together on her period from time to time of late i just cannot stop thinking about her and sometimes my heart feels heavy right we are in no contact….. uhm does she also feel the same? like uhm how cooked am i too???

Problem/Goal:

• Is it common to still think of the person who ghosted you?
• Even if you are in a new connection now?
• Is it normal because you were never given a clarity?
• Why do they get to live a normal life while I still grieve once in a while?
• I deleted the chat histories, their number, blocked them on social media, gave myself the closure because I can feel the distance, silence and coldness all of a sudden.

It has been more than a year ever since the unexpected change. Although I know it was partially my fault for projecting hard the vision and hope of what they could've been versus who they were from the start.

Yes, it is unfair. They never met the efforts and consistency I gave and I romanticized their bread-crumbing. I questioned my worth with this person. I mean, that's it? I became a doormat and lost myself in a sense just to be thrown away like a piece of garbage? I'm that easily disposable and to be discarded?

Maybe I am just having a moment where I am touching the wound and it stung a little bit more today. It has been almost 2 years since the ghosting. My post is messy and my thoughts are everywhere. I don't think I need to go on full detail for my title says it all.

Anyhow, thank you for taking your time to read this.

So ill keep it short me and my ex my first and last gf we dated for around 3 years and in that time we did ldr for 2.5 years but before that she used to live near my town only so we had met each other couple of time but now as we broke up cuz she said she cant do ldr anymore and its been 6 months since we broke up and she has blocked me from everywhere possible where i could text her and in upcoming month like in 1-2 month its her birthday so should i wish her or not?

started drifting apart after a series of small arguments. He grew tired of my behavior and eventually lost feelings for me. Around the same time, I was going through a difficult period, and he had just started a new job, so it’s true that neither of us had much emotional space.
After we made up from one of our fights, I think he was trying to put in effort again, and I was trying too. But about a week and a half later, I couldn’t stand how different his attitude had become. I asked him whether he still loved me, and told him that if he didn’t, it would be better for us to break up since the situation was too painful for me.
He hesitated at first when I asked him, but when I pushed for an answer, he said “no.” So I told him, “So we’re done.” He replied “probably,” and I said “No it’s not probably “Then he said, “So for sure.”
When I told him I thought we would stay together longer and that I still wanted to be with him, I asked if he didn’t even want to try again. He said he had tried but couldn’t do anything, and that he didn’t want to anymore. So I thanked him for everything, and he replied as well.
After that, I blocked his contact. But the next day, I couldn’t hold it in and texted him saying, “Sorry for suddenly messaging you, but I still want to be with you.” He hasn’t replied yet, and I’m currently waiting for his response.
What is he thinking right now? Is it possible that he will never reply at all? At this point, does his answer seem like a “no” too?
Sorry, English isn’t my first language.

Hi everyone. I honestly didn’t expect to be writing another update.
First, thank you to everyone who commented on my last two posts. A lot of your comments helped me realize things I had been minimizing for a long time.
Since then, we’ve mostly been untangling our lives. We closed our joint bank account, he immediately sent me the money he owed me, and I told him I’d be removing myself from his insurance. I genuinely wanted all communication to stay about logistics.
After I unblocked him for that, he texted me saying that now that I wasn’t blocked, he wanted me to know there was no hatred in his heart, that he was working on himself, that his family regrets everything that happened, that he hadn’t really told anyone about the breakup, and that if I ever needed anything not to hesitate to reach out.
I thanked him.
Then he called me.
Twice.
I didn’t answer.
This is where I’m confused.
This is the same man who told me he wanted the breakup, repeatedly said he wanted peace, ignored me for days afterward, and made me feel like I was simply too much. Now that I’ve finally stopped chasing him and started accepting that it’s over, he’s calling.
I don’t know what changed.
My parents know he called, and they’ve both made it very clear that if I ever got back together with him, they couldn’t support that decision because they watched this relationship change me in ways that scared them. Even now they don’t fully believe me when I tell them I’m not going back because they know how much I loved him.
One thing that’s also been weighing on me is conversations I’ve had with one of his cousins. She’s continued checking on me and has been incredibly kind. She told me she believes he resented me because I made more money than he did. That surprised me because he was a lawyer in his home country, he’s incredibly intelligent, and he was recently accepted into a master’s program here. She also told me he had spoken to family about how I didn’t “hold him down.”
That one really hurt because I loved him before the car, before the job, before any of those things. I loved him when he was still new to the U.S. and trying to build a life. I never cared what he had. Hearing that almost made me feel like the entire relationship had been rewritten.
She also told me something else that made me think. My ex has an older cousin he looks up to almost like a father figure. According to her, this cousin was the one who told my ex that putting a tracker in my car was normal and an expression of love rather than control. My mom always worried that if I married my ex, I’d end up repeating the same unhealthy relationship patterns she believed existed in that part of the family.
The strange part is that I don’t really feel the overwhelming panic anymore.
Now I mostly feel… numb.
I’m spending time with family, my siblings are coming from Florida soon, I’m looking for a trauma therapist, and I’ve been watching a lot of Dr. Ramani’s videos because they’ve helped me understand relationship dynamics in a way I couldn’t before.
I still want to get married one day. I still want children. Part of me is scared about starting over at 24, but another part of me knows I can’t build a marriage on hope that someone will eventually become different.
I don’t hate him. I genuinely hope he gets help if he needs it.
I just still can’t understand one thing.
If someone says they want peace, asks for the breakup, ignores you for days, and then starts calling once you’ve accepted it’s over… what do you think is usually going through their mind?
I’m genuinely asking because I don’t plan on answering, but I’m still trying to make sense of it.
**TL;DR:** My ex wanted the breakup, ignored me for days, then after we finished separating our finances he texted saying there’s no hatred in his heart, his family regrets everything, and he’s working on himself. Then he called me twice. I didn’t answer. I’m finally starting to move on, but I’m still trying to understand why someone who insisted on ending the relationship suddenly reaches back out once you’ve accepted it.

i hate to admit that the not getting my things back is bothering me more than i care to admit.

for context, my ex broke up with me twice (kinda). first instance was because he felt he “wasn’t enough” for me. he ended up texting me a week later after to return some stuff i left at his house as an excuse to see me and wanted to get back together. within that week on no contact, i decided to move to my dream city as nothing was holding me back.

anyways we are in contact for a month of us “trying” and he “dumped me again”. within the time of contact i had an amazon package accidentally shipped to my old address and asked if he could send it to me. after we broke up, a week went by and so i left a voicemail asking him to send it asap along with my address. he takes a week to reply saying he’s going to ship my stuff and send the info later. i was obviously going to reimburse him. the thing is he never ended up sending me the info but i thought no big deal as i only moved a few states away and knew shipping would only take three days as my mom who lives near him sent me a package that took that long.

fast forward to now, it’s been two weeks and nothing. no tracking info nor package. it’s frustrating because i’d like to get the things i bought for myself and it just doesn’t make sense why he would keep it. i know i could just replace it myself but if he has it and was willing to ship it, that’s easier for me. i keep seeing on the internet that it’s hardly ever about the stuff and more of a tactic to keep communication open.

thoughts?

31M & 35F 3 month relationship

Been in a relationship with this girl for 3 months.

It’s been awesome moved fast but was still feeling great we had a lot of meaningful dates conversations and intimacy we even went on vacation together on a weekend away.

She has ghosted me for about a week now and I’m honestly losing my self.

I didn’t hit her up cause it was unusual behavior and I’m normally the one who initiates conversation so was waiting on her to initiate or say something.

Last week she went pretty cold after a night out with her friends the day after our date. When I say cold I mean distant and she would take hours to reply I’m talking maybe three messages in a day which were pretty meaningless “good morning” or “have a good day “texts.

It didn’t bother me cause I figured she’s just busy with family and then the week went on and she messages me one message on monday saying hope your day was good after ignoring my message on the Sunday without explanation.

I still didn’t mind.

Tuesday went by and I message her in the morning telling her I got tickets for us to see a show this Thursday. She agrees and says she’ll make it and then I said “that’s great I can’t wait to see you, how was your day” then on Wednesday there’s no reply and complete silence.

Thursday comes along and she messages me telling me her pet dog is sick and she’s at the vet.

I tell her not to worry be reassuring and supportive to her

Tests come back normal and the dog is fine but she cancels Thursday as she was emotionally overwhelmed.

I was completely understanding and told her not to worry and to just let me know if there’s anything I can do for her and that I’m there for her.

LITERALLY THE LAST THING I SAID. & NOW RADIO SILENCE.

This has been eating me alive.. I am losing my dignity as it is and feel like she’s been distant before the dog situation. & honestly I’m not a bad person for waiting on her to communicate. I wanted to give her space. But she has completely ghosted me.

Here are some red flags.

She still texts her ex of 9 years (even on dates with me)

She once mentioned her ex would fly over if anything happened to the animal.

She is glued to her phone when we’re together and doesn’t reply to me after hours if I text

She doesn’t really ask me how I’m doing.

She cried to me about her ex while she told me she loved me in the same sentence.

I love her and wanna be with her

Can someone explain what may be going on and how to get closure ?

Been dating this guy for 5 years. We’re in our late 20s now. Known him since high school and reconnected in our early 20s. Met each others’ families, got engaged, set our wedding date and chose vendors together. He’s always been there for me (and I tried my best too) and has always been super thoughtful. He was kind and patient when things were good. We’re different people but I thought we meshed well together. 8 months before our wedding date, he completely blindsides me and drops a bombshell that he fell out of love with me, he doesn’t know if I’m the person for him, he’s not sure if I even love him for him (I do) and he starts listing a bunch of things that are “wrong” about me (I’m too quiet at social gatherings, I’m waiting till marriage to do certain things, I’m not stylish, I have too many fam events and am too dependent on my parents, he doesn’t think I appreciate him).

He also has been saying mean things to me during limbo when we tried to work things out (I was apologizing for things I did that hurt him, I really loved him and went out of my way to make him happy in the best way I knew at the time but I had no idea it wasn’t enough, especially when he would tell me I’m perfect or how he’s grateful to do life with me)… mean things he said include how it feels like the cooties when I touch him, how I’m boring and I should be boring with someone else, how he can’t picture me as his wife and how he couldn’t see me walk down the aisle (all things that hurt to hear). He also disclosed that he cheated on me 2 years ago (kissed a girl from school a few times during the span of a week). He eventually broke things off with me saying he can’t proceed because he doesn’t have feelings. This all came as a shock to me because I had no idea he was falling out of love. I thought we were planning for our happily ever after together. Sometimes I blame myself for the things I could’ve done better (been more appreciative, more outgoing, more stylish) - he evaluated me and didn’t let me in on his problems. Any insight and opinions would be helpful.