Spiraling over tarot
Accidentally posted this on the NoContract subreddit while bawling my eyes out.
24F/24M. I've gotten into tarot readings very intensely to predict a reconciliation. It's been 2 months since we broke up. I have been broken up with once before and rejected another time and I got over those situations pretty quickly and smoothly with occasional bad days because they were not very good people and didn't treat me very well. I always had negatives to point out in them and I moved on eventually.
But this guy was exactly what I've always wanted. He was an exception in my life in a lot of areas where I never thought I'd have an exception. For the first time I felt truly heard, truly cared for. But he lost feelings.
3 different readers predicted that he won't reconcile with me and I am genuinely at the end of the rope because everytime I get a negative reading it breaks me. After the 3rd reading I decided "screw it" and downloaded a dating app but I don't like looking at even the most stereotypically attractive men and I get the ick after exchanging one text with them. My ex had never given me the ick and he was the first person to do so.
I don't know how to cope with this pain right now and I'm always on the verge of sending a long paragraph.