Ho interrotto il "no contact" con il mio ex dopo che mi aveva bloccata ovunque

Un po’ di backstory. Mi ha lasciata l’estate scorsa a causa della distanza e pk semplicemente “non voleva venire a trovarmi” in Italia. Ogni tanto, gli scrivevo per alcune cose e questo è continuato fino a dicembre scorso, quando mi ha completamente bloccata ovunque.

Arriviamo a oggi, non so pk abbia deciso di fare una cosa così impulsiva, ma dato che avevo ancora il suo numero salvato, ho semplicemente deciso di scrivergli ora ad agosto, anche pk c’era una cosa in cui era bravo e per la quale avevo un po’ bisogno del suo aiuto. Mi ha risposto dicendo che non era “contrario a risentirci” e da allora ci siamo scritti qua e là. Continua a essere incredibilmente dolce, mi fa domande e si prende semplicemente cura di me in generale, per esempio della mia salute. Ho anche notato che ogni volta che mi capita di parlare di standard o di problemi passati, lui svia semplicemente con battute assurde... e 2 giorni fa abbiamo avuto una telefonata a tarda notte in cui è stato genuinamente caloroso, ha riso per tutto il tempo e ha persino ammesso di essere stato un totale stronzo “per avermi bloccata per così tanto tempo”. Inoltre, dopo che la chiamata è finita, gli ho augurato buona fortuna per il suo nuovo lavoro e in qualche modo è rimasto senza parole, e gli ho anche detto “ti amo” (ce chi lo fa? Chi dice “ti amo” al proprio ex?) e tipo ieri mi ha riempito il telefono di messaggi chiedendomi com’era andata la mia giornata e sembrava più “ansioso” del solito???

Parlando con lui e aggiornandoci sulle nostre vite ho notato che la vita del mio ex è rimasta relativamente la stessa, mentre la mia è stata un caos totale. Durante quella chiamata di 2 giorni fa ho avuto anche la sensazione che fosse un po’ intimidito da me. So che non sono molte informazioni, ma ho davvero bisogno di qualche consiglio su cosa fare. Mi piace scrivergli e parlare con lui mi dà un conforto sincero, eppure ho paura di affezionarmi.

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u/Advanced-Assist7211 — 4 days ago

I broke no contact with my ex after he blocked me everywhere

A little backstory. He broke up with me last year during the summer because of long distance and because he just "didn't want to visit me" in another country. Occasionally, I would text him afterwards about some stuff and it continued till last December when he completely blocked me everywhere.

Fast forward to now, I don't know why I decided to do such an impulsive decision but since I still had his number saved, I just decided to text him now in August, also because there was one thing that he was good at and I kind of needed his help with it. He responded, saying he wasn't "against texting me again" and ever since we have been texting here and there. He still stays incredibly sweet, asking me things and just caring about me in general, like my health for example. I also noticed whenever I happen to bring up standards or past issues he just deflects with absurd jokes.. and 2 days ago we had a late-night phone call where he was genuinely warm, laughing the whole time and even admitted he was a total jerk "for blocking me for this long." Also after the call ended I wished him good luck on his new job and somehow it left him speechless and I also said "love you" (I mean who does that? Who says that to their ex?), and like yesterday he flooded my phone asking how my day went and seemed more "eager" than usual, I guess?

When catching up with him, I noticed that my ex's life stayed relatively the same while mine has been a total chaos. On that call 2 days ago I just had a vibe he was a bit intimidated by me as well. I know this isn't a lot of information, but I really need some advice on what to do. I like texting him and talking to him brings me genuine comfort yet I'm scared to get attached.

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u/Advanced-Assist7211 — 4 days ago

Learning how to sew with a treadle machine

Recently I found this old treadle machine from the 1950s (similar to a Singer 15-88) and I've been trying to learn how to use it. I've basically cleaned everything and even got it moving smoothly again, I have watched a lot of videos on YouTube about it but still I find it hard to:

  1. Thread it, because even when I do it "right," somehow after a while the thread just drops out of those specific spots like the part to regulate tension

  2. When I start, I first spin the wheel a bit toward myself to get 2-3 stitches but afterwards when I drop it, something happens and the machine starts to sew but somehow drops everything and I have to start over again. It happens again once I try to use the big pedal and start doing it with my leg

  3. I dont understand why it starts moving backwards, like the leg pedal, or why it just randomly stops and doesn't move, how do I fix it?

I really want to start sewing, and yes I'm a complete beginner. If someone knows a few tips or videos online that explain all of this, I'd really appreciate the help!

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u/Advanced-Assist7211 — 8 days ago
▲ 27 r/Life

why do some people remember past versions of you without wanting to realise you've changed?

I've noticed a few of my old acquaintances that brought up topics (or people/crushes) I've had when we were close, and ever since then I'd obviously changed. It's quite confusing how instead of wanting to know my present they just stick to the past. And also whenever we talk they just assume I will do the same things I did when we were close. Why's that?

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u/Advanced-Assist7211 — 1 month ago

why do some people remember past versions of you without wanting to realise you've changed?

I've noticed a few of my old acquaintances that brought up topics (or people/crushes) I've had when we were close, and ever since then I'd obviously changed. It's quite confusing how instead of wanting to know my present they just stick to the past. And also whenever we talk they just assume I will do the same things I did when we were close. Why's that?

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u/Advanced-Assist7211 — 1 month ago

Erasmus (6 months) study in Germany best private insurance companies help

I will study in Germany for 1 semester as non eu, is it possible to just get an insurance from a private company like Axa or Europ Assistance instead of the statutory health insurance?

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u/Advanced-Assist7211 — 1 month ago

Erasmus (6 months) study in Germany best private insurance companies help

I will study in Germany for 1 semester as non eu, is it possible to just get an insurance from a private company like Axa or Europ Assistance instead of the statutory health insurance?

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u/Advanced-Assist7211 — 1 month ago

Ho una cotta per un ragazzo che prende tutto sul serio e sto impazzendo

Ho conosciuto questo ragazzo durante il mio lavoro di volontariato. Alle conferenze ci guardavamo di sfuggita, e ho notato che a volte tendeva ad andarsene quando ero vicino (anche se abbiamo amici in comune). Comunque, alla fine della conferenza (con la scusa dello networking) sono andata da lui e mi sono presentata. Il giorno dopo mi ha seguita su Instagram, ha iniziato a mettere "mi piace" alle mie storie e poi gli ho scritto un "ehi". Durante quella luuuunga conversazione, a volte ho cercato di flirtare o cose del genere, ma lui deviava sempre il discorso tornando sull'argomento di cui stavamo parlando. Per esempio ho menzionato la sua band preferita e lui ha finito per riallacciarsi solo a quello, parlando esclusivamente della band e ignorando completamente il mio messaggio provocante. Poi, suona anche la chitarra ed è in un gruppo; a un certo punto ho detto che volevo unirmi a loro e che "suonavo la chitarra ma lui avrebbe potuto darmi delle lezioni" e lui ha risposto "oh, non sono un professionista ma forse ogni tanto potrei darti una mano". C'è stata anche una conversazione sulla statistica e gli ho chiesto se potesse fare l'esame al posto mio. Lui ha detto "ho tre esami e non credo proprio, ma quali sono le regole dell'esame?". Allora gli ho detto che è troppo serio e che non capisce il sarcasmo, e lui ha risposto "Me lo dicono spesso". A quel punto ho pensato di averlo un po' offeso perché non ha risposto per un po', ma poi stamattina si presenta chiedendomi del mio nome, della mia nazionalità e di questa lingua, dicendo che non la parla da quando era bambino ma chiedendomi "qual è il mio consiglio per impararla". Io gli ho detto le solite cose generiche, tipo di trovare qualcuno con cui fare pratica, e lui ha risposto "sì, è solo che non ho nessuno che la parli, vedrò se riesco a trovare qualcuno". Io ho semplicemente risposto "Ok" e questo qui mi ha lasciata visualizzato. 

Allora ho un paio di novità al riguardo di questa situazione!!!!

Lo stesso giorno mi sentivo un po' a disagio e gli ho mandato un altro messaggio tipo tipo "volevi che ti dicessi di si?" E lui fa “in che senso? Lo dicevo così in generale". Allora io gli ho detto "sai che puoi essere diretto con me e lui invece ha iniziato a scusarsi dicendo che stava studiando un sacco e che è per quello che sembra un po' fuorviante quando scrive. Gli ho anche detto "Un giorno dobbiamo assolutamente studiare insieme" e lui ha risposto "se ho tempo pk no dai" (E ci sono rimasta male che non abbia proposto nient'altro).

Qualche giorno dopo mi è successa questa situazione divertente che c'entrava con dei generi musicali che pensavo potessero piacergli quindi gli ho mandato una foto a riguardo e abbiamo iniziato a scriverci di musica ecc. Ha detto che "rispetta il mio gusto musicale perché ascolto diversi generi ed è davvero goated". Dopo un po' ha anche accennato al fatto che gli piace la musica di Lady Gaga e io ci ho scherzato "woah woah ho ancora una chance allora?" e lui ha risposto "credo di si". e poi (vi prego non giudicarmi) quando ho risposto "Rizz..." a quel messaggio lui ha semplicemente detto "pretty much". Credo che non ci sia nient'altro di interessante in quella chat. Però non so più che fare, e mi vergogno un po' al pensiero di essermi immaginata tutto??

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u/Advanced-Assist7211 — 3 months ago

Have you ever found yourself constantly thinking about someone, only to have them reach out hours/days later?

I remember those old theories where if "you think about someone, they're also thinking about you," etc., and I would usually notice that whenever a SP crossed my mind, these thoughts would stay for a bit, and then the same SP would reach out to me. The same thing happens to me with dreams because this SP (I feel like they've been haunting me) has been showing up in my dreams for at least 3 days. I don't want to text them or like I usually don't think about anything about them but sometimes this stuff happens. Has anyone ever experienced this?

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u/Advanced-Assist7211 — 3 months ago

Cosa significa quando cerco di flirtare con lui e lui prende tutto sul serio?

Ho conosciuto questo ragazzo durante il mio lavoro di volontariato. Alle conferenze ci guardavamo di sfuggita, e ho notato che a volte tendeva ad andarsene quando ero vicino (anche se abbiamo amici in comune). Comunque, alla fine della conferenza (con la scusa dello networking) sono andata da lui e mi sono presentata. Il giorno dopo mi ha seguita su Instagram, ha iniziato a mettere "mi piace" alle mie storie e poi gli ho scritto un "ehi". Durante quella luuuunga conversazione, a volte ho cercato di flirtare o cose del genere, ma lui deviava sempre il discorso tornando sull'argomento di cui stavamo parlando. Per esempio ho menzionato la sua band preferita e lui ha finito per riallacciarsi solo a quello, parlando esclusivamente della band e ignorando completamente il mio messaggio provocante. Poi, suona anche la chitarra ed è in un gruppo; a un certo punto ho detto che volevo unirmi a loro e che "suonavo la chitarra ma lui avrebbe potuto darmi delle lezioni" e lui ha risposto "oh, non sono un professionista ma forse ogni tanto potrei darti una mano". C'è stata anche una conversazione sulla statistica e gli ho chiesto se potesse fare l'esame al posto mio. Lui ha detto "ho tre esami e non credo proprio, ma quali sono le regole dell'esame?". Allora gli ho detto che è troppo serio e che non capisce il sarcasmo, e lui ha risposto "Me lo dicono spesso". A quel punto ho pensato di averlo un po' offeso perché non ha risposto per un po', ma poi stamattina si presenta chiedendomi del mio nome, della mia nazionalità e di questa lingua, dicendo che non la parla da quando era bambino ma chiedendomi "qual è il mio consiglio per impararla". Io gli ho detto le solite cose generiche, tipo di trovare qualcuno con cui fare pratica, e lui ha risposto "sì, è solo che non ho nessuno che la parli, vedrò se riesco a trovare qualcuno". Io ho semplicemente risposto "Ok" e questo qui mi ha lasciata visualizzatooo

Non ci sto capendo più nienteeeee

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u/Advanced-Assist7211 — 3 months ago

What does it mean when I try to flirt/joke and he takes it all serious?

I met this guy during my volunteering job, and at conferences we'd glance at each other, and I noticed he would kind of leave sometimes whenever I was nearby (even though we have mutual friends), and whatever at the end of the conference (under the excuse of networking) I just came up to him and introduced myself. The next day he followed me on instagram, he liked my stories, and then I was bored once and just texted him "hey." Then during that looong convo, sometimes I tried to flirt or whatever but he'd always direct it back to whatever thing we were talking about, for example I mentioned his favourite band and he just ended up going back mentioning only the band and completely ignoring my flirty message. Then he also plays the guitar and is in a band, and at some point I said I wanted to join it and that I "played the guitar but he could teach me though" and he said "oh im not a professional but maybe I could help sometimes." There was also a conversation about statistics and since I had an upcoming exam I asked him whether he could take it for me, he said "I have 3 exams and I dont think so but what are the exam rules?" and I told him hes too serious and doesn't understand sarcasm and he said "I get told this a lot", and I thought I kinda offended him because he didnt respond for some time and suddenly this morning he shows up asking me about my name, nationality, and this language and then says he hasn't spoken it since he was a kid but "whats my advice to learn it" and I said some generic stuff like find someone who will practice with you, and what he said was "yeah its just I dont have anyone that speaks it, ill try to see whether I can find someone" and I just responded "Ok" and this guy just left me on read.

I just don't know what's happening anymore?

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u/Advanced-Assist7211 — 3 months ago

What does it mean when I try to flirt/joke and he takes it all literally?

I met this guy during my volunteering job, and at conferences we'd glance at each other, and I noticed he would kind of leave sometimes whenever I was nearby (even though we have mutual friends), and whatever at the end of the conference (under the excuse of networking) I just came up to him and introduced myself. The next day he followed me on instagram, he liked my stories, and then I was bored once and just texted him "hey." Then during that looong convo, sometimes I tried to flirt or whatever but he'd always direct it back to whatever thing we were talking about, for example I mentioned his favourite band and he just ended up going back mentioning only the band and completely ignoring my flirty message. Then he also plays the guitar and is in a band, and at some point I said I wanted to join it and that I "played the guitar but he could teach me though" and he said "oh im not a professional but maybe I could help sometimes." There was also a conversation about statistics and since I had an upcoming exam I asked him whether he could take it for me, he said "I have 3 exams and I dont think so but what are the exam rules?" and I told him hes too serious and doesn't understand sarcasm and he said "I get told this a lot", and I thought I kinda offended him because he didnt respond for some time and suddenly this morning he shows up asking me about my name, nationality, and this language and then says he hasn't spoken it since he was a kid but "whats my advice to learn it" and I said some generic stuff like find someone who will practice with you, and what he said was "yeah its just I dont have anyone that speaks it, ill try to see whether I can find someone" and I just responded "Ok" and this guy just left me on read.

I just don't know what's happening anymore?

reddit.com
u/Advanced-Assist7211 — 3 months ago

Today I just randomly made plans with this group of people I've been meaning to hang out with for months, and since I met up with this guy from the group first (we both came earlier than others), I immediately felt soo nice and comfortable in his presence like I just didn't need to keep talking and I was mostly silent. I guess he was the one to ask more questions? After a while, I asked him whether he had instagram and he said he "had my insta for months" and he's been watching my stories and then he opened his phone and showed my instagram, I felt a bit awkward since I didn't know. Then he asked my major etc and I told him and he was like "ohh I remember you texted that in January in the group chat."

And basically we talked for like 20-30 minutes and he was soo nice and talkative about things he even opened up to me about his class and the university/friends stuff, at some point it was my turn to talk about whatever topic we were discussing and it was a bit long and stuff so I just said "its a really long story" and then he said "its okay we have some time you can tell me" and yeah, I also joked multiple times about us meeting in a future in his country (since im going to travel there) and he was like positive about it as well, but in the group I don't know I felt like he behaved like this with everyone? I don't know about vulnerability and stuff he shared with me but yeah, I think I might have a crush on him and I don't really want to make the first move either?

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u/Advanced-Assist7211 — 4 months ago

Today I just randomly made plans with this group of people I've been meaning to hang out with for months, and since I met up with this guy from the group first (we both came earlier than others), I immediately felt soo nice and comfortable in his presence like I just didn't need to keep talking and I was mostly silent. I guess he was the one to ask more questions? After a while, I asked him whether he had instagram and he said he "had my insta for months" and he's been watching my stories and then he opened his phone and showed my instagram, I felt a bit awkward since I didn't know. Then he asked my major etc and I told him and he was like "ohh I remember you texted that in January in the group chat."

And basically we talked for like 20-30 minutes and he was soo nice and talkative about things he even opened up to me about his class and the university/friends stuff, at some point it was my turn to talk about whatever topic we were discussing and it was a bit long and stuff so I just said "its a really long story" and then he said "its okay we have some time you can tell me" and yeah, I also joked multiple times about us meeting in a future in his country (since im going to travel there) and he was like positive about it as well, but in the group I don't know I felt like he behaved like this with everyone? I don't know about vulnerability and stuff he shared with me but yeah, I think I might have a crush on him and I don't really want to make the first move either?

reddit.com
u/Advanced-Assist7211 — 4 months ago

Today I just randomly made plans with this group of people I've been meaning to hang out with for months, and since I met up with this guy from the group first (we both came earlier than others), I immediately felt soo nice and comfortable in his presence like I just didn't need to keep talking and I was mostly silent. I guess he was the one to ask more questions? After a while, I asked him whether he had instagram and he said he "had my insta for months" and he's been watching my stories and then he opened his phone and showed my instagram, I felt a bit awkward since I didn't know. Then he asked my major etc and I told him and he was like "ohh I remember you texted that in January in the group chat."

And basically we talked for like 20-30 minutes and he was soo nice and talkative about things he even opened up to me about his class and the university/friends stuff, at some point it was my turn to talk about whatever topic we were discussing and it was a bit long and stuff so I just said "its a really long story" and then he said "its okay we have some time you can tell me" and yeah, I also joked multiple times about us meeting in a future in his country (since im going to travel there) and he was like positive about it as well, but in the group I don't know I felt like he behaved like this with everyone? I don't know about vulnerability and stuff he shared with me but yeah, I think I might have a crush on him and I don't really want to make the first move either?

reddit.com
u/Advanced-Assist7211 — 4 months ago