FYI. I was the one ended it. The reason why I want to initiate this phone call is because I want a closure and apologize for a bit for ending things suddenly. Nothing more. Do you think it’s okay for me to do that?
My ex situationship and I have been no contact almost 3 months since April. Every now and then I talk to our mutual friend about my life updates and some struggles too. Three of us all met online. I have been friends with this mutual friend over 3 years. And I introduced her to my ex situationship. And then we became like a friend group. Not only did I introduce her to him but also other online male friends. But I think the reason that they got so close recently is probably because of me. She did help me a lot when I cut off this online situationship with him. I really appreciate that. And I also kinda look up to her and I sometimes would like to ask her for advice about my life struggles. And she also promised me she would keep what I said to her as a secret. So I trust her.
However, yesterday after I just left her VR around 15mins, my ex situationship came to her VR. Usually he doesn’t come to her VR since no contact. Only she would come to his VR for killing the boredom I guess. I am not sure if it was a coincidence yesterday. But somehow I felt a little bit anxious cuz I was typing too much in her VR because I wasn’t able to talk because I was sleeping with my female friend. Then he must see all the comments that I typed in her VR. I don’t care what they talk in his previous VRs cuz they are friends. They can talk whatever they want. But her VR yesterday also got me involved and I don’t want him to know what I am up to since I’m still trying to move on. And I would say the comments that I typed yesterday were so private😅 I kinda regret typing too much.
So guys could you please give me any sincere advice? I am 100% sure they are just friends. And they both are good people. So there is nothing related to triangle relationship.
TLDR
My ex situationship and I have been no contact almost 3 months since April. Every now and then I talk to our mutual friend about my life updates and some struggles too. Three of us all met online. I have been friends with this mutual friend over 3 years. And I introduced her to my ex situationship. And then we became like a friend group. Not only did I introduce her to him but also other online male friends. But I think the reason that they got so close recently is probably because of me. She did help me a lot when I cut off this online situationship with him. I really appreciate that. And I also kinda look up to her and I sometimes would like to ask her for advice about my life struggles. And she also promised me she would keep what I said to her as a secret. So I trust her.
However, yesterday after I just left her VR around 15mins, my ex situationship came to her VR. Usually he doesn’t come to her VR since no contact. Only she would come to his VR for killing the boredom I guess. I am not sure if it was a coincidence yesterday. But somehow I felt a little bit anxious cuz I was typing too much in her VR because I wasn’t able to talk because I was sleeping with my female friend. Then he must see all the comments that I typed in her VR. I don’t care what they talk in his previous VRs cuz they are friends. They can talk whatever they want. But her VR yesterday also got me involved and I don’t want him to know what I am up to since I’m still trying to move on. And I would say the comments that I typed yesterday were so private😅 I kinda regret typing too much.
So guys could you please give me any sincere advice? I am 100% sure they are just friends. And they both are good people. So there is nothing related to triangle relationship.
It's been over 2 months already since no contact. I was the one that chose to end it all of a sudden.
We met through an online language exchange app. I developed huge feelings for him and started to contact him more often after we have been friends for 3 months if I am not mistaken.
I never said I liked him but I gave him a lot of signals that showed him I liked him such as asking for his Instagram and asking him to meet up IRL. Also always sharing my daily life with him even if we have 12 hours time difference. What's more, I always said I miss him through messages. I think it was very obvious even my other online friends also said it's very obvious. Until now I still don't know why he was telling one of my close female friends that he wasn't so sure about my feeling towards him.
Several things that he did to me that made me want to end this online situationship.
* He rejected me a few times when I asked for his pics. He ended up giving me a child pic and a few OTTD pics without showing his face after my constant requests. He promised me he will show me his face after two months. But unfortunately, we ended up way before he can keep his promise.
* When I was asking for his instagram, at first he wasn't willing to give it to me but when he gave it to me, it has nothing in his instagram only his forehead profile pic. The reason why I said that he wasn't willing to give me his instagram in the first place is because he did say there are some posts with his face there so he didn't want to give me. I messaged him on instagram by saying did you just set everything visible to yourself only when we followed each other at that time. He didn't give me any response and he even didn't read my message. That's ghosting for sure. I honestly really felt regret that I didn't point it out and question him for doing that to me. I was being too considerate. As for my face, he definitely knew what I look like when we first talked in his VR. My profile pic was my real pic there. All I can understand why he did this to me was because he was too insecure. Even though I already tried my best to let him feel less insecure but it seemed like it still didn't work out.
* We mostly DM each other on that language exchange app. You know what, sometimes he would choose to use his second account to check my profile instead of using his main account to read and reply my messages. I think when we just met, he only showed up on weekends so he might try to keep his schedule like this so he chose to leave me unread when I sent him messages during weekdays. So at one point, I stopped texting him for a few days and even stopped asking for him to open VRs cuz I thought he didn't like me and I felt like I was bothering him. But he broke this awkward silence between us and we continued to talk since then and became closer.
* I am always a huge opponent towards one night stand and he knew that already when we were just even friends. One time he and my another male friend were talking about their traveling experience in Japan. He was saying that whatever happens in Sibuya stays in Sibuya. I didn't remember what exactly they talked about but somehow it triggered me to ask this question to him after I was saying are we experiencing the same Japan. I was asking him is that a one night stand. He said no. But I figured out he was lying to me when we had our first long private one on one call. I honestly started feeling super anxious and really wanted to proceed this situationship to a deeper level so I was asking him a really personal question: Have you slept with anyone before? And that's why we ended up having this call cuz I said don't you think it was too slow for us to get to know each other? It was good that at least he was honest on the call and that was a good call as well. But I just can't stop myself thinking bad of him and then I texted him the next day and said that I am still very concerned the fact that he did one night stand before. He did say that he truly adored me and loved me via texts after I said let's just end it like this. But at that time I just can't trust him anymore and thought that he didn't like me. I really thought he might just enjoy the attention I gave to him back then.
I think we are not on the same page and I still think he's a good person but I don't think we can be good partners for each other. I almost thought he was the one cuz I did have a really good time with him. He made me laugh when it's at my worst. I really appreciate that. During this two month of no contact, I only texted him once and that was during my mental break down because of my sister. I genuinely appreciate that he can reply my message and asked how I was feeling after that. But I need to keep some distance so I was just telling him I was just so emotional and said sorry if I bothered him and then no contact again.
I still miss him sometimes. I really try to move on by trying new things and hanging out more with my friends IRL but it is still kinda difficult for me. I think I still need another 6 months to get over this. Can you guys give me any advice on this?
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It's been over 2 months already since no contact. I was the one that chose to end it all of a sudden.
We met through an online language exchange app. I developed huge feelings for him and started to contact him more often after we have been friends for 3 months if I am not mistaken.
I never said I liked him but I gave him a lot of signals that showed him I liked him such as asking for his Instagram and asking him to meet up IRL. Also always sharing my daily life with him even if we have 12 hours time difference. What's more, I always said I miss him through messages. I think it was very obvious even my other online friends also said it's very obvious. Until now I still don't know why he was telling one of my close female friends that he wasn't so sure about my feeling towards him.
Several things that he did to me that made me want to end this online situationship.
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I think we are not on the same page and I still think he's a good person but I don't think we can be good partners for each other. I almost thought he was the one cuz I did have a really good time with him. He made me laugh when it's at my worst. I really appreciate that. During this two month of no contact, I only texted him once and that was during my mental break down because of my sister. I genuinely appreciate that he can reply my message and asked how I was feeling after that. But I need to keep some distance so I was just telling him I was just so emotional and said sorry if I bothered him and then no contact again.
I still miss him sometimes. I really try to move on by trying new things and hanging out more with my friends IRL but it is still kinda difficult for me. I think I still need another 6 months to get over this. Can you guys give me any advice on this?