r/ExNoContact

I’m just wondering if I’m the only one who has done this because I honestly don’t hear about it very often.

After my breakup I completely disappeared. I blocked him everywhere, blocked his number, deleted all my social media and cut off every way he could have access to me. We were from different cities so its LDR, i know for others its hard to delete socials and all contact due to co parenting or whatever the situations may be.

My main reasons were:

• I was constantly stalking his socials, checking his followers and looking at what he was doing, even though I knew it would hurt me.

• I kept seeing him do things he told me he never would, and it was making me overthink and hurt myself all over again.

• I didn’t want him to have any access to me anymore. I didn’t want him knowing what I was doing, who I was with or being able to check up on me.

• I needed to completely remove the temptation to check on him and finally accept that the relationship was over for good.

It’s been three weeks and I’ve never gone this long without him or social media. He was my first love for years, so obviously I still think about the good memories and miss who I thought he was. But the person he became was completely different, and I eventually reached a point where I had enough. His ego cost us our rs to end. He said some nasty stuff and has gone back to his old habits and is a huge narcassist and avoidant. I had enough so this is what its resulted to for my own healing and to prove to him that i can live without him. he never takes anything serious.

I just wanted to remove myself completely, stop giving him access to me and stop giving him any more space in my head.

Has anyone else completely disappeared after a breakup? Did it help you move on or is it helping you if you just started and what was your reasons ?

i do reccomend doing this after a toxic breakup just to heal in general and be away from their checking their socials as it brings nothing but pain and it would boost their ego. Its also nice to step away from social media as doom scrolling and the algorthim is so vulnerable and makes you not want to heal. My FYP would make me miss him and make me vulnerable so this has helped a lot on that aspect. Ive also stopped listening to music and sad songs, thats helping A LOT to not ruminate.

I just want to know why me.
Why did loving someone have to cost me my peace?

Men, how do you feel about blocking an ex gf on socials? As a 40 y.o. guy, i block because i don't want any contact from that person, now or in the future. I've heard only women block, you block because you still care, blocking is feminine energy. What's your take on it?

Basically the title. I am missing my ex so hard today… it’s been 10 days of no contact, 3 months after the breakup

I honestly don’t even know where to start.
My ex and I broke up a while ago, and after everything that happened between us, I thought that was finally it. The relationship had become really toxic and there were a lot of things she did that hurt me. There were lies, trust issues, and things I still don’t fully know the truth about. At some point I basically accepted that I had to let her go.
Then, a few weeks ago, we started seeing each other again.
We talked on the phone at night, hung out, I even slept at her place once. She told me she loved me and that she really enjoyed being around me. She talked about coming with me to a dentist appointment I have in December. At one point we even talked about moving out together and basically starting over somewhere else, like getting to know each other again from scratch.
I asked her multiple times what we were actually doing because I didn’t want to sit around waiting for her forever. She always said she didn’t know, but honestly, I was just enjoying having her in my life again. I loved feeling like I had someone who genuinely loved me.
Then last Thursday was the last time I saw her.
Everything was completely normal. We hung out outside her place, smoked together, she kissed me, and she literally stood by my car watching me leave. Everything felt fine.
The next day she was out with a friend. I called her that evening and she told me she was going home. She apparently didn’t. I’m not even saying that automatically means she was with someone else, but it was another lie that made me question everything.
Then Saturday she basically disappeared.
I texted her, called her, and eventually I got really worried. I contacted her on pretty much every platform we had because I genuinely thought something might have happened to her. I even went to her house.
Then I realized she had blocked me.
Eventually she sent me a message saying:
“Please stop. I don’t want to talk. This was necessary for a long time. I wish you all the best. I love you.”
And then she blocked me everywhere.
The part I can’t wrap my head around is how completely sudden it was.
On Thursday she was kissing me and talking about our future. A couple days later she was telling me she didn’t want to talk to me anymore.
I know I shouldn’t chase her. I know I shouldn’t contact her friends or her brother. I’ve already tried way too hard and I know I need to stop.
But I still miss her like crazy.
And that’s what I don’t understand.
She hurt me so much. There were so many moments where I should have walked away. I let things slide that I honestly shouldn’t have. I even feel embarrassed looking back at how much I chased her and how much I tolerated.
Yet I still love her.
Part of me hopes she’ll eventually reach out, while another part of me really doesn’t want her to, because I know I’ll probably get pulled back into the same cycle.
I keep wondering why she did this, what happened that weekend, whether she’s already seeing someone else, whether she ever actually loved me, whether any of those good moments were real.
I know I probably won’t get answers.
I think what hurts most is that I don’t even necessarily want the relationship back anymore. I just miss her. I miss the person I thought I had, the memories, the feeling of having someone there.
I guess I’m just trying to understand how someone can be so close to you one day and completely cut you off a few days later.

Just curious

I don't know what's happening with my life anymore. I turned 23 last month, and the week after my birthday, my girlfriend broke up with me. She has blocked me everywhere and told me that she doesn't like me anymore.

I've been an introverted and shy guy throughout my teenage years. I rarely talked to girls. I met her on Instagram, and we became friends before getting into a relationship. We were together for three years. She was my first girlfriend and the first person I ever truly loved.

She was outgoing, modern, and loved exploring new things, while I was always a very shy, insecure, and socially awkward person. Over time, she slowly lost interest in me, but my feelings never changed. I still love her so much.

I know I'm unfunny, unattractive, and probably a loser, but she meant everything to me. I can't seem to move on. She doesn't pick up my calls or reply to my texts. I've tried everything I could think of. I've begged, cried, and tried to fix things, but she has completely moved on. She even changed her number.

What hurts the most is that it feels like everything we promised each other and everything we spent three years building together meant nothing to her.

I don't feel motivated to do anything anymore. I don't feel happy at all. I miss her so much, and I don't know how to let go of someone who was such a huge part of my life.

I see people on here talk about taking back an ex who cheated on them because, after some time, they believed the person had genuinely changed. Personally, I don’t think I could ever take back someone who cheated on me, no matter how much time had passed.

But it does make me wonder: what did or could your ex do that made you feel like you could never take them back, regardless of how much they changed afterward?

For me, there were some things I did in my relationship that I regret. I lied about some relatively small things, but I also lied about some pretty serious things. I was able to apologize for them and take responsibility and I was genuinely ashamed of myself for not being honest.

When my ex and I were breaking up, though, I became very emotional and kept begging him to reconsider. I crossed some of his boundaries (both emotional n personal) and kept trying to contact him by blowing up his phone, emailing him, knocking on his door, after he had asked for space. Eventually, he told his friend to tell me to stop and then he blocked me on several platforms 😔.

Looking back, I know I handled the breakup badly and I lowkey regret not respecting his wishes for space. How bad would you consider my behavior? If you were in his shoes, would you ever consider taking me back after some time if I genuinely changed, or would this be a dealbreaker for you, why?

What could your ex do or did that make you feel like you could never take them back?

He blocked me first, and after about a month, he unblocked me, but he never messaged me. I found out that he had unblocked me, so I messaged him first. He replied, but after that, he barely messaged me.

I got angry and told him, “Please block me.” He suddenly blocked me again, and we had no contact for a couple of months.

I used to check his profile every day to see if he had unblocked me. Today, I noticed that he has unblocked me again.

But I know he probably won't message me. So why did he unblock me? Does it mean he thought about me or still cares about me? Why isn't he messaging me? What's the point of unblocking someone if you don't intend to talk to them?

Should I stay silent and not message him this time? Part of me feels like he might be testing me to see whether I'll message him first, but I honestly don't know.

What do you think I should do? Should I just stay silent and move on?

I just got broken up with a man who was also my best friend of ten years. Not an awful person either, I wish him the best but our last conversation was rough, I wouldn’t call this a great ending.

Give me your craziest, unhinged advice to get over this relationship and not think about him everyday.

I’m on day 8 of no contact after blocking the person who dangled commitment in front of me. They told me I was too much for them to handle. Please tell me I’m doing the right thing. I feel like I’m in the trenches right now and I’m weaning off fent. My self-esteem has plummeted. Would really relish in some it gets better stories please. I’m scared of seeing him around town.

You’re in pain. You want to speak to them. You wonder if there’s ever a chance to reconcile. They wake up every day and choose to maintain the silence and distance.

Before you pick up that phone, before you break and wonder if there’s a possibility, just remember

they have your number, too.

my ex broke up with me 3 yrs ago after dating for 9 months bc he didn’t feel like he loved me, we both never said ily to eachother but i made the mistake of remaining friends afterwards and it became sort of like a situationship, I couldn’t handle that so for me to move on properly, I removed him from all of the socials and through mutual friends. I found out that he had a girlfriend after me and I didn’t have a boyfriend after him, but I have moved on completely regardless, and two weeks ago. He sent me a message and he was asking me if I still meet my friends if I still played the video games i used to play when we were together, but then I felt like he hasn’t changed so I told him that I’m not interested in speaking again so let’s just stop and he said understandable. Have a good night but now I kind of want to reach out to him again because him breaking no contact made me think of him again. What should I do?

Sorry this is long…
My girlfriend of three years broke up with me about two weeks ago, and I’m honestly struggling to make sense of what happened.
She told me she hasn’t been happy for months and that she feels like she’s lost some of her independence. She said I offered her too much and that my love for her became too much pressure because I made her my whole world. She also told me she has no hope for us right now.
What makes this especially hard is that, from my perspective, I was just trying to love her and be there for her. I never thought the things I was doing for her would eventually make her feel trapped or pressured.
She also became close with a group of coworkers/friends at the bar where she works about a year ago. I don’t really know them well, but for whatever reason, they apparently don’t like me. I don’t know if they influenced her or if that’s even relevant, so I’m trying not to automatically blame them. But it’s hard not to wonder about it.
The timing has made everything even more confusing. She broke up with me shortly before taking a trip. At the same time, she was moving apartments. We don’t live together, but while she was gone, I ended up moving all of her stuff into her new place for her. None of the friends she’s gotten close to showed up to help, and apparently they bailed on her.
When she came back, I gave her the keys to her new place. That was one of the hardest moments because despite everything, I was still trying to take care of her and make sure she was okay.
I know I need to respect what she’s telling me. If she feels like she needs independence, I can’t argue her out of that feeling. And maybe I really did make her my whole world in a way that put too much pressure on the relationship.
But I’m having a hard time understanding how someone can be with you for three years, apparently become unhappy for months, and then suddenly decide there’s no hope for the relationship.
I keep wondering whether I loved her in the wrong way, whether I gave too much, whether I missed signs that she was unhappy, or whether there were other factors involved that I don’t know about.
I’m not looking for people to tell me she’s automatically the villain or that her friends ruined our relationship. I genuinely want some perspective from people who have experienced something similar.
Has anyone had a long-term relationship end because your partner felt like your love, attention, or dependence on the relationship was “too much”? Did giving someone everything actually push them away? And is there any realistic chance of coming back from something like this, or should I accept that when someone says they have no hope, it’s time to let go?

Seven months ago, my ex broke up with me, throwing out random excuses and making me feel like it was all my fault. Exactly two days later, I noticed he was following his ex on Instagram again. Turns out, he completely hid the fact that he was planning to get back with her. A month later, he posted a photo with her…something he never did with me during our entire relationship.

When I reached out once to ask for closure and express how hurt I was, he exploded. He denied everything, yelled at me, and cold-heartedly said, "I just never felt like posting photos with you." As I was crying and asking for a decent conversation, he hung up on me, smugly claiming I’d "always be stuck on him" and would probably "harass him on his wedding day." (He assumed he would marry this recycled ex of his)

I had already blocked him everywhere months ago except WhatsApp, since I noticed he’s been lurking, stalking my LinkedIn and watching/liking my WhatsApp statuses. Fast forward to today, after 7 months of total silence, he just sent me a low-effort text. Two “Hi”s in succession.

I’m not replying. Just needed to post this as a reminder of how toxic he was, and how ridiculous it is that he thinks he still has access to me.

Maybe in 1 or 2 years? Do you think you’ll ever talk or connect with them again? I have a feeling our story is not finished yet, but maybe that’s just my brain trying to cope about the breakup. What do you think about it?

Reminder for when you’re thinking about reaching out: the phone works both ways.

Every single day you haven’t contacted them is also a day they could have contacted you.

Think about that.

They’ve probably had lonely afternoons. Quiet drives home. Drunk nights. Random memories of you. Songs that reminded them of you. Places that brought everything back. Moments where they wondered what you were doing.

And through all of that, they still didn’t take five seconds to send a text.

Next time you find yourself thinking, “Maybe I should just reach out.”

Why? Because you miss them? They may have missed you too.

Because you’re lonely? They’ve probably been lonely too.

Because enough time has passed? The exact same amount of time has passed for them.

Because maybe they’re waiting for you? Maybe. But notice what that thought does: it puts the entire responsibility for reconnecting back onto your shoulders.

The phone works both ways.

You do not have to keep being the person who breaks the silence, reopens the wound, tests the waters, or gives someone another opportunity to decide whether they want you.

If they genuinely decide they want to speak to you, they know where to find you.

Until then, you don’t need to interrupt your healing just because tonight happens to hurt more than yesterday. Their silence has lasted every bit as long as yours has.

i'm literally gonna hire someone to bonk me in the head and tell me "he doesn't want you, stupid bitch"

like
some stuff happens and ALL i want is to tell him and him to hold me and give me kisses. i can't stop thinking about him

I won't get into too many details, but long story short, we had a huge fight two weeks ago after they got upset when I confronted them about how they were treating me. It's... heavy stuff, and I'd like to keep it private, but believe me, it was bad. It was my first real relationship, and I didn't know how important it was to enforce my own boundaries, leading me to letting them walk all over me, especially sexually and emotionally.

I blocked them everywhere after they refused to take accountability, and told them not to come in contact with me again and to either keep or throw away everything I ever gave them. Last night, I found a letter on my porch with the worst apology I've ever read on top of a pile of clothes and trinkets I had given her...

The infuriating part to this story is that it just so happened to show up after I was just starting to recover and forget about them.

I'm absolutely disgusted.