My ex suddenly blocked me after we had been getting close again, and I don’t know how to process it
I honestly don’t even know where to start.
My ex and I broke up a while ago, and after everything that happened between us, I thought that was finally it. The relationship had become really toxic and there were a lot of things she did that hurt me. There were lies, trust issues, and things I still don’t fully know the truth about. At some point I basically accepted that I had to let her go.
Then, a few weeks ago, we started seeing each other again.
We talked on the phone at night, hung out, I even slept at her place once. She told me she loved me and that she really enjoyed being around me. She talked about coming with me to a dentist appointment I have in December. At one point we even talked about moving out together and basically starting over somewhere else, like getting to know each other again from scratch.
I asked her multiple times what we were actually doing because I didn’t want to sit around waiting for her forever. She always said she didn’t know, but honestly, I was just enjoying having her in my life again. I loved feeling like I had someone who genuinely loved me.
Then last Thursday was the last time I saw her.
Everything was completely normal. We hung out outside her place, smoked together, she kissed me, and she literally stood by my car watching me leave. Everything felt fine.
The next day she was out with a friend. I called her that evening and she told me she was going home. She apparently didn’t. I’m not even saying that automatically means she was with someone else, but it was another lie that made me question everything.
Then Saturday she basically disappeared.
I texted her, called her, and eventually I got really worried. I contacted her on pretty much every platform we had because I genuinely thought something might have happened to her. I even went to her house.
Then I realized she had blocked me.
Eventually she sent me a message saying:
“Please stop. I don’t want to talk. This was necessary for a long time. I wish you all the best. I love you.”
And then she blocked me everywhere.
The part I can’t wrap my head around is how completely sudden it was.
On Thursday she was kissing me and talking about our future. A couple days later she was telling me she didn’t want to talk to me anymore.
I know I shouldn’t chase her. I know I shouldn’t contact her friends or her brother. I’ve already tried way too hard and I know I need to stop.
But I still miss her like crazy.
And that’s what I don’t understand.
She hurt me so much. There were so many moments where I should have walked away. I let things slide that I honestly shouldn’t have. I even feel embarrassed looking back at how much I chased her and how much I tolerated.
Yet I still love her.
Part of me hopes she’ll eventually reach out, while another part of me really doesn’t want her to, because I know I’ll probably get pulled back into the same cycle.
I keep wondering why she did this, what happened that weekend, whether she’s already seeing someone else, whether she ever actually loved me, whether any of those good moments were real.
I know I probably won’t get answers.
I think what hurts most is that I don’t even necessarily want the relationship back anymore. I just miss her. I miss the person I thought I had, the memories, the feeling of having someone there.
I guess I’m just trying to understand how someone can be so close to you one day and completely cut you off a few days later.